Prayer Circles

P.S. We'll be leaving Tuesday morning early and coming back sometime Thursday. (And we have to change flights twice. YUCK!) Did I mention that I need prayers? :o)
Charlene

Charlene, my prayers go with you and you have my sympathy as well. Try to remember the good times that you had with your Casey and know she'll be there as well. Thank you for the lovely post on Josh's memorial, I have really come to depend on my sisters. Love you. Anita

Thank you Anita for your prayers. I know what you mean about depending on the sisters here; I think I've been checking in here about every 30 minutes this afternoon to see if anyone responded to my post above. LOL!
I hope that you are doing okay today. I don't remember too much about the first year after the girls' passing. But I've made up for it this year! I've been more emotional this year than I have EVER been. But the doctor says that's good for me so I keep on feeling and remembering and letting myself grieve. After 17+ yrs. of holding it all in, I'm finally finding release and healing by talking and crying and soaking up the love from you all! And I'm being more free to express myself to my family; my mother is coming over this afternoon to do what moms do, comfort me and bring me her scrumptuous custard. (It'll be gone by tomorrow night!) :o) She's 80 but she is still a mom and always will be. :o)
Love to you all!
Charlene

Hi my dear sister Anita. I am so sorry for not posting earlier, I have been working for long hours, even during the weekend, and have not been able to be on line. I did not forget John ann. and my prayers were with you and family my dear sister, as they always are, I know that Josh already met all of our Angel kids, and they are supporting and loving each other, also they are all in the presence of our Lord and He is taking care of all of them, until we will be together again, and this time Forever. My love and prayers. Selva

My dear sister Selva, thank you so much. I told Kim & Josh about all the other Angels up there and I know they're taking care of each other and that helps me alot knowing that they are not alone. My dear sister if you will, will you please send me the recipe that our Angel Chief speaks highly of? My e-mail is astarte1225@myway.com Thanks. Love you Sis. Anita

Hi my dear sister Charlene. I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend, and also that you have to flight there. Yes the memories will be there, but also remember that the girls are always with you no matter where you are, you can't see them my dear sister, but they are very close to you, I know it will be hard to think of the good memories and feel happy, but remember our prayers will be with you to give you strenght. I am glad to are taking something to relax you during the trip, and it will be just find, like Solange used to tell me "whatever is written you can not change" and no matter how you worry about it, it will happen if it is your time", don't worry my dear sister, I am sure that God have a lot of plans for you still, you have a mission to complete, just think about this Circle, you still have lots to do here, nothing bad will happen. Of course you can count on our prayers, we will storm Heaven so that you have a very good flight back and forth. Love and prayers to you my dear sister. Selva

Oh, our dear sister Charlene, I'm so sorry to read that, losing a friend who was like a Parent to you hurt's too, you both forged such a good friendship. Have a good cry like you're doing and let it out, I too pray that the memories of your precious grandchildren that were made there are more comforting than sad.
Yes, take your 'relaxing pills' with you if you hate flying, take one before you get on the plane and it should help take away some of your anxiety. Don't worry dear one, our love and prayers will go with you, we have you covered,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Another perspective of the Grieving process....

Therapist Mitch Carmody recently offered this on our Journey, I found it interesting. He lost his 9 year old son 15 years ago to cancer. He compared our situation to a child being born. The years 1 thru 5 we’re learning how to talk , walk and negotiate through this new life we have found ourselves thrust in. 5 through 10 we get better at our lives but still have our awkward moments. Anyone who ever grew up can relate. It seems to me that all the people who do as well as they can in our situation find peace in trying to help others who are walking in our shoes.
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Thought for the day:

"You do not 'get over' grief. Anyone who say's that you can, or tell's you how they did, is not to be believed.
Grief keepers accept their grief and weave it into te fabric of their soul's and lives."

Hello my dear angel sisters, ~ Sorry to be so late getting here. My PC is performing very poorly. :( It takes a long time to download or open pages. I had planned to post late last night but lost a rambler that I wrote in three settings! Sometimes I forget to save in MS Works before posting. Had I done that, I wouldn't have lost everything. :( Charlene, I know exactly what you mean when you say it is hard to remember all that you've said once you've lost it. Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know that my checkup went OK. Thanks again for your prayers. I was pretty much prepared for whatever the results because of the prayers that I knew were being prayed for me, and it helped to have Cheryl there in the room with me. Nevertheless, during my exam, when the nurse was hooking me up to all of those wires and monitors, I began thinking about how lucky I was to still be alive. As I lay there while the nurse was running the test on my heart, I tried, but I couldn't hold back the silent tears. :) When my Rue asked, "Mama, what's wrong?" I just smiled and said "Nothing … and continued, "What makes you think something is wrong?" Her response was, "Because I know my mama." :) So, I told her that it was the Furosemide; [which is a fluid pill]... I explained that sometimes, it comes out through the eyes!" Ha-ha! The three of us were laughing so loud when the doctor walked in he just smiled and looked at each of us as if to say, "Let me in on the joke!" Of course, the humor ended abruptly, and all was serious again. :) Anyway, this is some of what I was sharing in the rambler that I lost. My cardiologist also but my mind at ease about the swelling I was concerned about and he discontinued two of the meds I was taking.

Y'all know I thrive on humor. I use it often to take the negative or sad or painful thoughts away; even if it's only for a few moments. As the saying goes, "Even after all I've been through, still I find joy!"

Sandy, I couldn't agree more with what you've shared in the two posts above. Those of us who have been on our journey a while longer do indeed have our awkward moments and all of us most certainly find peace in trying to help others who are waking in our shoes. And that is is powerful blessing! :)

As y'all know, Diane's birthday is Aug. 16th and heavenly date is Aug. 31st. Lord knows I miss my Diane. This year will mark the 10 year anniversary of her passing. No, we don't get over the grief, but as we all know, with God's help and the help He sends our way, we do eventually accept it and thank God the grief is not so intense as in the beginning. Then, slowly, at our own pace, we learn how to live with the grief as it settles in. It is my constant prayer that God will continue giving us those precious peaceful moments for which we all pray!

Much love, hugs, and heartfelt prayers,
Verna [AKA Miss V.] :)

Y'all, please forgive all typing errors in the post above! Oh yes, I am now able to type with all my fingers! Praise the Lord, and thanks, Selva for sending the healing light, and thank all angel moms/grandmas/and others for praying for the healing of my fingers. :)

Charlene, ~ I am sorry to read about the loss of you all's very dear friend. My heart goes out to both of you and the bereaved family. Please know that we all are praying for you and hubby to have a safe trip there and back. I don't like flying either, but it is a lot quicker. I am praying that the weather will be favorable all the way there and back. I also pray that God will give you only fond memories of your grand babies while there; but if the tears come, please know that it is OK to shed them. Each of us must grieve in our own way and for as long as we feel the need. Don't worry about what others might think. Your heart has been shattered and you've kept it all inside for so long. So your magnitude of grief is still in the early stages. Just remember to take your time and grieve in your own way. If you've read any of my back post, you may have discovered that I had very little support in the very early stages of grieving. My other daughter lived in another state and my hubby, bless his heart, was at a loss as far as helping me on my grief journey. He was a master at keeping his grief all balled up inside. It took years for him to even talk about his grief. He's doing a little better, but it's still hard on him. :( Just know that each of us have a right to grieve in our own way. Again, may God have mercy on the bereaved family and keep them in His loving care.
Love & prayers,
Verna

Dear God,

Thank you for loving me, for believing in me, and for giving me the strength and courage to go on, in spite of all the sadness and pain I’ve had to endure in this life. Had it not been for you leading me on … through the prayers of others, I know for a fact that I would not be here today. So many times … contrary to my wishes, you saw fit to keep me here. I know now that during my weakest hour, as I moaned and groaned in a fetal position, it was through the prayers and compassion of others that you comforted me, and somehow gave me a reason, no, many reasons to go on. Thank You, Father, for not allowing me to give up in despair. Thank you for renewing my faith and for assuring me that my child and all of my friends and loved ones, who have gone on before me, are alive and well in your kingdom! Thank You for giving me the heartfelt desire to reach out to others … many who are just beginning to walk in my shoes. Lord, we need you every minute, every hour of every day. Thank you Father, for agreeing with us that life is not always fair, that the painful emotions we feel represent what you feel when bad things happen to us, to our friends and loved ones; but through it all, you give us the courage to press on, until we reunite with our beloved children/grandchildren, and other loved ones in the ultimate heavenly family reunion someday … and oh what a joyful day that will be! Until then, Lord, until we meet you and our loved ones in Glory, thank you for those precious moments of peace, and the power of prayer to see us through!
Amen
6/29/2006
4:00 AM

And, the Holy Spirit said … “Go write this down!”

From Prayers and Poetry for the Bereaved

The Power of Prayer

In the mist of all your trials
Someone is praying for you
It helps to know that someone cares
About all that you’re going through

It helps you fight depression
Your thoughts of giving in
Of giving up on all your dreams
Allowing your heart to slowly mend

And even as you are sleeping
Your angels are praying too
They know that God hears all prayers
To love and comfort you

In the mist of all your trials
Let prayer permeate your soul
Give the power of prayer a chance to work
And God will make you whole!

Prayer helps you rediscover your worth
And in life to start anew … Yes,
In the mist of all of life’s grief and pain
The prayers of others will see you through!

Verna R. Clay
Copyright 2006

Hi all. Miss V. i'm glad you got a good report when you went to see the doctor. We all knew you would though.

The poem you wrote was really beautiful. It says so much. I'm glad you shared it with us.

Sandy the post you made,I fully agree.

Much love and Angel hugs. Love yall Anita

HI ALL!!
Well, I made it back in one piece anyway. LOL! Thank you all for your prayers; our God is a very gracious God and He wrapped me in His arms the whole trip. With lots of prayers of my own and lots of deep breathing on takeoffs and landings [ :o) ], I made it! :o)
I had no sad moments when we got to our friend's house or at the visitation Tuesday evening. But Wed. morning when I went to the motel dining room for breakfast (my husband had already gone at 6 AM and I didn't go until 8 AM) there were 2 families with children there having breakfast; they were talking about their plans to go on to California and visit San Diego and Sea World and I had to throw away the rest of my breakfast and leave. (That's where we went in 2002 with Casey and our oldest grandson.) All of a sudden it hit me (and we know that those times happen) and I wanted to get back to our room as quick as I could to get rid of the awful gut-wrenching ache that I had. My husband didn't know what to do for me so he did nothing. I tried to get control of myself but it was hard. Later on that morning I cried some at the funeral, but I still felt like I needed to sob and sob but I didn't let it out. Thursday all day on the flights back home I had a horrible headache; and today I've finally been able to release all of the ache and tears that I couldn't give way to earlier. Now I feel like I could go back to bed and sleep even though it's only 10:30 in the morning here. :o)
We had a good visit with our friend although it wasn't long enough. She has another lady friend staying with her for a while; she also lost her husband 6 years ago. Our friend has 2 other lady friends who lost their husbands and they promised to keep a close eye on her and help her too. Our friends had planned for his passing and he had a sprinkler system installed in their yard just a few days before he passed away. In northwest New Mexico there isn't grass in yards but their yard had green grass that he had sowed and tended for years, always watering and had a lush garden and flowers. Now she doesn't have to get out and water everything by hand; and he also hired a young man to take care of the garden and flowers for her and mow the grass. They had made plans for his passing and that will make it easier for her. She also has a granddaughter who lives close and her granddaughter's in-laws live close too so they will help her if she needs it. It makes me feel better knowing that she has some family and lots of friends to help her.
I realized that I wasn't accurate about the miles, either; it is around 800 miles if we drive, but the flying miles one way were around 1800. I have to keep reminding myself that we'd still be on the road traveling back if we drove, though. I'm just glad to be safely back on the ground! :o)
Love to you all and thank you for your prayers!
Charlene

Sandy, thank you for the 2 posts, especially the one by Mitch Carmody. That goes along with what my doctor told me about allowing 5 years before you even START to feel like you can go on again. I read an email lately and I can't remember what it was or who I got it from, but it was about the child and mother being connected by the umbilical cord. It was really good and explained why a mom feels like a part of her heart is torn out when she loses a child. I'll keep looking for it and try to post it here if I can find it.
Thank you for all your love and care that you show to everyone here! I know you're busy, but you still find time for us! Thank you!
Love you, Charlene

Verna, good to see a post from you! I had to laugh out loud about your fluid pill; that was real quick thinking.
Thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement, and I'm glad that you're doing better every day.
Love, Charlene

SPECIAL DATES LIST:
There are three dates this month that we all need to remember.

Marci: Sean-Michael July 15 (BD)
Barb: Carol Ann July 20 (BD)
Anita: Joshua July 28 (BD)

Father God, I come to You in Jesus' name thanking You that we can come to You with our praises and petitions, our cares and concerns, and You will be faithful to answer us because of Your abundant love and mercy toward us. Father, I ask You, on behalf of my sisters Marci and Barb and Anita, that You will surround them this month with Your presence and Your comfort. Father God, that You would give them peace and joy in knowing that their children are right now in Your presence where there is no more sickness or pain or suffering. Father, I ask that You would give each of my sisters happy memories of their children's birthdays; that they would remember fun times spent with their children. And Father, send encouragement their way through prayers, cards, hugs, whatever they need, Father, that You would nudge us and others to give them. Thank You, Father, that You are sufficient to meet all our needs through Jesus our Lord; for it's in His name I pray. Amen.
Love and prayers to all three of you!
Charlene

Hello all my dear sisters!

Miss V, that's wonderful, tear's of joy for getting a good report from your Cardiologist, love the Poem too!

Hi dear Anita, happy you liked the quote's, we can all relate in our own way to them. Every so often I'll find something relevant to us all and write it down, to post here for us all. Pray you're doing well, did our dear sister Selva send you the Recipe yet?

Our dear Charlene, happy that you're back! I knew you'd be fine on the Plane with all our prayers and love going with you. Gosh yes, you don't have to worry about your friend, her dear husband, God rest his soul and family, friends, are looking after her, bless their hearts!
Oh hey, you did very good, seeing the family with children and hearing them talking would set you back a little, sometimes grief is like that - 3 step's forward, then one back, so I'm glad to read that you could finally let all the tears out, that's an important part of moving ahead and acknowledging your grief.
Very happy you're back and thank's for listing the special days for this month,

My love, prayers and Angel Hugs to all,
Sandy

Hi my dear sisters. Ms. V, thanks so much for sharing that beautiful poem, I know it comes from the heart, pray that you are feeling much better and of course following Dr.'s orders, yeah sure, remember we are keeping an eye on you, so try to relax those wrists.
Hi my dear Anita, I e mailed you the recipe for the pork roast, I hope that you received it, it is not a dificult to make and it tastes good, I pray that you are feeling a little better, I know it takes time and lots of faith, sometimes I have my little battles with faith but thanks to all of you and your prayers I go on.
My dear sister Charlene. I am so glad that you are back and that you had a safe trip, yes my dear sister, every little thing can trigger the memories and then the sadness and tears will flow, but always try not to hold it, let it out no matter where you are, people will understand, and if they don't, that its just too bad for them, that is the way I feel, holding my tears and pain inside, just makes me feel even worse, sometimes I'm driving to and from work and I see some girl who reminds me of Solange and that will make me cry all the way home, like I said before, this is a very complicated pain, and sometimes a very lonely road, lots of people just don't understand, the line I hate the most is "Life goes on" and you have to go on with your life, OMG, that really gets me going, I have learned to control my anger lately, and manage just to smile, but at the begining it was really so bad I will really let them have it (In a nice way), like "what life"?, I don't have a life anymore, I just tell myself, Selva, please shut off, can't you see they are stupid? and then I smile. I will send you the recipe also , I was waiting for you to come back. I just wanted all of you to know, that my prayers and love are always with all of you, you are my family. Love Selva

Thank you SO MUCH, Selva, for your prayers. And thank you for the laugh; I loved your thought about shutting off because they are just stupid. I know other people don't understand; they CAN'T because they've not been through what we have. My problem is that I can't really 'break down' in public; tears I can do, but actually sobbing I can't do. I reserve that for when I'm alone in the car or at home.
Please don't feel alone, because our love and thoughts and prayers are with you even if we can't be.
Love you!
Charlene

Hi dear sisters, Hope everyone had a good weekend. I had relatives up from Miami that I hadn't seen in a long time. We had a nice visit.
Charlene, i'm glad the trip went ok. Welcome back.Thanks for the special dates list.I'll be praying for Marci and Barb.
Dearest Selva, Yes, I got the recipe and i'm going to try it tomorrow. I like trying different things. My little giunea pig isn't here anymore ( I always tried the new recipes on Josh- I never did find anything that kid wouldn't eat)so i'll try it myself. It sounds kind of spicy and I like spicy food so I think i'll like it .
Angel Mom Sandy, You do so much for us. thank you for starting this circle.
Also, my sisters i'm asking you to please pray for a friend of mine. Her name is Leann, her 2 year old grandson fell in a neighbors pool Friday and he drowned.We all know what she is going through. Thanks.
Love you all---Anita

Oh yes Anita, I'll definitely be praying for Leann and her family right now! Such a tragedy; but all deaths are aren't they! Father God, I come to You on behalf of Leann and her family; Father, I rejoice that this little boy is safe in the arms of Jesus, but his family is left here to suffer his absence from them and I grieve for them. Two years old is not very long to have him here but still a lifetime of memories they have had. Father, let them not regret a minute of the time they had with him. Father, comfort them with Your arms and Your everlasting love; and send others to comfort them who understand their grief. Help them, Father, to seek help and not to suffer alone. In Jesus' name I pray and ask. Amen.
Thank you Anita, for posting your concern for your friend.
Love you!
Charlene

Oh no, dear Anita, that's so sad, still a baby, we know how your friend and family are feeling right now, God love them, yes, of course they're in my prayers,
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy