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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

5/12/2006 15:31

Hello dear Charlene, yes, I agree, you wrote your daughter and now it's up to her, the ball is in her court. Our prayers are with you that she start's communicating with you again.
Good to see you letting your anger out, you know this is a safe haven to do so and many of us have done the same thing here. No, life isn't always fair, right now we 'see through a glass darkly' but one day we'll know why things in our life, especially losing precious children, happened.
Keep trusting and praying to God and keep pressing on in faith,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,

5/12/2006 16:05

Hello all my dear sisters, we have one of the hardest Holiday's on Sunday to deal with - it's the only Special Day set aside solely for us - Mothers Day.
For you Moms who may be experiencing your 1st Mothers Day without your beloved child there, even if you have other children, it's going to be a painful day for you. There's no right or wrong way to mark the day, the best thing you can do and I can tell you from experience, is to spend the day the way YOU want to, not the way other's may expect you to. If you feel comfortable spending it around family, do so. If you feel like being alone that's OK too. Sometimes it help's to do something tangible for you and your child, light a special Candle, plant flowers at their Grave site, write a letter to your child. Do something nice for somebody else, in honor of your child. Whatever you do, do what's most comfortable for you.
I spent my 1st Mothers Day crying all day long, thankfully I didn't have to pull out my 'mask' for our older son Chris, he had already moved to another City and couldn't make it home.
For those of you who have lost your only child, remember, you are STILL a Mother and always will be. For those of you who are further along your Journey of Grief, it's still a painful day, you may not cry, you may go out for the day, but your thoughts are going to be on your child who's no longer here physically. I wish I had great pearl's of wisdom to impart to you about how to deal with the day without any pain, but I don't. Pray for strength from God to sustain you and I'll be praying for you all and I know I can count on your prayers for me.
Lots of love & Tender Hugs,

5/12/2006 18:56

Hi dear angel moms, :) Just a quick note to let y'all know that I'm still doing my best to follow doctor's orders: taking my meds, eating right, exercising, and getting plenty of rest. I must also monitor what I do around the house, and how it affects my recovery. Lifting, pushing, pulling anything that's over ten pounds is still a no no for your Miss V. :) I am learning that the hard way! Ha-ha! You would not believe how hard that is to remember!!! :)

My cardiologist is out of town, so I still have not been scheduled for an appointment with an in network service provider [neurologist] to determine how much damage has been done to my hand, and whether or not it can be corrected. So say a little prayer. I'll let y'all know what, if anything, can be done to get rid of the numbness in my fingers on my right hand which I've been told is caused by nerve damage. The sensation in my little finger, ring finger, and a tiny part of my middle finger feels as though I have my fingers in a glass of ice water. :( Thank goodness, the feeling has returned enough for me to type a little faster without too much trouble. Thanks Selva, for sending the healing light; and again, thank all of you for all acts of kindness and prayers!

I also want to wish everyone a blessed and peaceful Mother's Day. Sandy has given us some very good advice and ideas on things we can do to help us make it through the most difficult of holidays for all angel moms/grand moms. I agree with Sandy that the most important thing is to spend the day the way YOU want to spend it.

It is my prayer that God will give us many peaceful moments as well as many fond memories throughout the day.

May God bless each and every angel mom/grand mom, and keep all in His loving care!

Much love and heavenly hugs,

Diane's mom
8/16/60 = 8/31/96

5/13/2006 09:10

I went to my mother's church last night for their Mother's Day banquet. The lady who spoke read the following and it was so good that I copied it down. I want to share it with all of you; it is a good reminder to me that I do these things so often!


She whispered, "God, speak to me", and a meadowlark sang.
But she did not hear.
So she yelled, "God, speak to me", and the thunder and lightning rolled across the sky.
But she did not listen.
She looked around and said, "God, let me see You", and the stars shone brightly.
But she did not see.
And she shouted, "God, show me a miracle", and a life was born.
But she did not notice.
So she cried out in despair, "Touch me, God, and let me know You are here".
Then God sent a butterfly to touch her cheek but she brushed the butterfly away and walked on.
(This is a great reminder that God is always around us in the little things that we take for granted, even in our electronic age.
So, I would like to add one more:)
She cried, "God, I need Your help", and an email arrived reaching out with good news and encouragement.
But she deleted it and continued crying.

The good news is that you are loved; don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.]

Wasn't that good?
Love to you all! Charlene

5/13/2006 21:08

My heart goes out to everyone who had lost a child. My son passed away in a violent crime on July 1, 2004. The last time I saw & held & hugged him was Mother's day after church in 2004. His crime still has not been solved after almost 2 years. The pain is as awful as it was when I first heard of the news. He was only 18, at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was stuck in the store when it was being robbed, they killed him for $12.38. I hope all who lost a child does not suffer like i do. I work 72 hrs a week, every week & my marriage is not well, i stopped going to church, stopped enjoying everything. i go to Chicago 4 times a yr to get info. & investigate on my own, the police still haven't solved or just aren't looking anymore for the 2 men resposible. So I understand how parents feel when they lose a child-they say it gets easier I'm just waiting for that to happen. When I say a prayer for my son Gary, I'll include all who have lost.

5/13/2006 23:28

Oh, Sue, my heart goes out to you! Such evil and cruelty in this world, and it seems to be getting worse every day. I'm praying for you, especially with Mother's Day tomorrow. I have lost 4 grandchildren, which is not the same as losing a child; but my heart is breaking for losing the grandchildren and for my daughter's loss. Sandy has told mothers so often that you're just in the beginning stages of your grief, so be good to yourself. Cry, scream, yell, whatever you need to do; there is no special order or agenda for your grief. You have to do what is right for YOU. I'm sorry you and your husband are not getting along. A trauma like you've been through is rough on your relationships. You hurt and he hurts and you both want someone to help you but you're also hurting too much to help each other. I know; that's the way my husband and I are sometimes. We do fine until I get really down and then he doesn't know how to handle 'us'. It sounds like you might be in depression which is understandable when no one seems to be helping you with your son's murderers. You just sound like I feel sometimes, by wanting to withdraw from everything and everybody. But I've learned that that doesn't help! The best thing to do is find someone you can trust to talk to. Not someone who doesn't have a clue what you're going through, but someone who REALLY understands and is sympathetic to you and your grief. That will help tremendously! This circle of sisters is wonderful in lifting you up in prayer and in encouraging you, so keep posting here as much as you can. It might take a while for some of them to reply to your posts, but they will eventually and you will be so glad that you posted here. My love and prayers are being sent to you as we speak.
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04

5/13/2006 23:38

ATTENTION ALL SISTERS IN PRAYER: I'm posting this by request of our dear sister Angela. I had emailed her today because I hadn't heard from her in a while; I didn't know if she was home from the hospital or not. Please keep her in your prayers! Here's her email that she wanted me to pass on:

[I am home from the hosp but am still quite ill....
The social worker from the hospital got a message to my Missionary Son and DIL and they are on their way home from their mission land due to my health condition...should be arriving any day now....
I am quite ill Charlene and if you are up to it, could you please make a post for me on the Circle...I have pancreatitis....and had it in 1997 as well...from my auto-immune disorder
(MS and Fibromyalgia and CFS
The nurse came to take my blood Thursday to check the amylase and lipase levels...In 1997,
these enzymes skyrocketed and the Dr's told me to get my affairs in order, but I'm still
here!!! he he he
My son Sean, 25, em'd me and told me they were packing up and driving home and it will take a week to 2 weeks to arrive home if they drive hard but I'd rather they take their time and arrive safely...
They have made arrangements to go back to work while here helping me....she works in a large law firm and my son does construction...(They both had leave of absences to do Missionary Work)
I am bedridden most of the time but due to Mother's Day tomorrow, I felt urged from the Spirit to send out an em to the Bereaved Mom's and other's who have lost loved ones....
Love, Hugs and Prayers,
Angela xoxo]

Pray for safety for her son and dil as they are traveling, and for Angela's health to improve dramatically. She is a very special lady and deserves all our prayers.
Thank you!

5/13/2006 23:59

Hi everyone. I just wanted to check in and see how everyone is and to let you all know I'm still praying for all of you. Sandy thank you for the words of encouragement, I needed them.
Sue, I really feel for you. I know how it is to want answers and not get them. I'm praying that God will give you peace.
Charlene how's the grandbaby? I hope very well. Let your friend know I'll remember her in my prayers also.
Tomorrow will be a difficult day for all of us I know, but- I wish all the Angel Moms a Happy Mother's Day.
Love to all Anita

5/14/2006 11:14

Thank you havelost4 Grandma Charlene for the very thoughful post. As it is Mother's Day today I wish all A Very Soothing Day if at all possible. I hope all may find Peace today as it is a most challenging time for a lot of people. I Pray that all will get through one more holiday. My Prayers are with all.

5/14/2006 12:25

Hello, my name is Donna I came to this circle a long time ago and the Love and support and prayers of AngelMoms I found a beginning to heal as I lite a candle today for my son I lite one for all of you to and pray for you to. God Bless each of you and help you on your journey now and tommorrow and Always.Love&BearHugs Donna

5/15/2006 09:10

That's too bad about Angela, God love her, I did get a couple of e-mail's from her this weekend, she was down over Mother's Day too but didn't mention not feeling well, so thanks for letting us know Charlene! Of course we'll pray for healing for her,
Much love & Angel Hugs,

5/15/2006 09:38

Hello dear Sue,
Mother's Day has to be especially tough for you, the last time you saw your beloved son. Losing your child at the hands of another is so tragic, we've had many moms and a Dad post here who've lost their child in the same way. One of those Mom's joined a support group for Parents who've lost their child to a murder, have you thought about doing that?
Yes, sweetie, the pain is gawdawful, we here all know that pain only too well, a big part of ourselve's goes with our child, it feel's as though someone has reached into your chest and cut your heart in two, the aching and longing are so bad. The pain is so raw and biting and with it come's a myriad of emotions that you never realized were there. You're only in your 2nd year, you're still 'newly bereaved', time is your best friend right now, your time, not someone's elses idea of time. Take it one step, one hour, one day at a time, on the really rough days.
It's not at all unusual for Moms and Dads to grieve differently, they hurt too, but it come's out in other way's than a Mom's does. So I pray you and your hubby can ride out this storm, each in your own way and stay together.
That's wonderful that you keep the Police searching, then it won't become a cold case file and it'll give you some measure of peace knowing the perpretators have been caught.
You post here anytime sweetie, we all know of the pain and together we support, love, understand what others can't and pray for each other. There is never any judging here, it's a safe haven as our dear Charlene has told you.
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,

5/15/2006 09:48

OMG!! It's our Donna with the Bear Hugs! It really warm's my heart to see a Post from you, dear one, We miss you and your Bear Hugs given with so much love! I hope yesterday wasn't too hard on you either, you still miss your precious Mikey and Christina. Thank you for lighting a Candle for the rest of us too, our Donna with the big heart. We still need those Bear Hugs, you know.
Lots of love, prayers & BEAR HUGS,

5/15/2006 10:39

Today is a heavy day for me and I don't really know why; my heart just feels burdened. So I think I'm going to cancel my 'to do' list and spend the day in prayer. I ask you all for your prayers for me, too.
Love you all!

5/15/2006 19:56

Hi all my Angel sisters. So glad that Mother's Day its over, it is just too painful for all of us. My dear Charlene, my prayers are right there with you, it is one of those days my dear sister, sometimes we take three steps forward and two backwards, I'm sure that Mother's day, the new babym the letter and all its taking its toll, just relax if you can and yes,with yours and our prayers I am sure you will feel a little better. Dear Sue, I am so sorry about your loss, I pray that the police will find that monster very soon and that he rots in jail, we know how painful it is to loose a child my dear sister, we all know of that horrible pain, please post here anytime you want to, you will find lots of understanding, love and prayers.Hi Anita, it is good to see you posting again in our dear Circle of Love, like Sandy said, this is your Circle too, it belongs to all of us who have suffered so very much and are still suffering the lost of our children. My dear Angela I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so sick, I will write to you my dear sister and please know that our prayers are with you 24/7' My love and prayers to all. Selva

5/15/2006 19:59

MY DEAR DONNA, what a wonderful surprise to see a post from you, my dear sister, we missed you a lot and your Bear Hugs too, like our Angel in Chief said, we still need those. It has been a long time since we heard from you, my dear sister, how are you? how is your sister? OMG, really really glad that you posted. My love and prayers to you. Selva

5/15/2006 21:38

When i posted for the first time, i was unsure of the results or of the feelings i may have through a site as of this nature. Yes, I was very skeptical. But, I never knew there were so many in deep sorrow & pain over the loss of sooo many children. Guess I thought I was the only one that was suffering so bably, SELFISH huh? My heart goes out to all. Charlene I prayed for you to get through a tough day. I was told the other day by someone who I thought was my friend & thought I trusted -she said to me--Sue, it's been 2 yrs. isn't it time you get over it. I told her YOU NEVER GET OVER IT.
I FEEL SAFE HERE IN THIS CIRCLE..which there;s not too many place left in this world that are safe. All here understand & have been through the toughest thing in all of life. I willl say a prayer for all.. thank you again . Oh yes i have tried a support group for a while but it was just too rough on me. Please take Care & try to keep those spirits & heads held hi. thank you again

5/16/2006 08:40

Thank you all for your prayers! Yes, today I'm feeling better; I took a long nap yesterday and shared and cried on the phone with a very, very dear sister friend.
Selva: so glad to hear from you again. Hope you are doing well!
Verna: Thank you for the Special Days list. I'm organizing mine in date order with BD(birth date) or HD(heaven date) in parenthesis after each date. That way I have it all in order on one page.
Sue: I'm glad you told your 'friend' about never getting over it. Good for you; I'm sure that getting that out made you feel better. I spoke with my husband's cousin yesterday and she said she wasn't over her dad's death yet (3 or 4 yrs. ago). I told her she would never be over it and it made me feel good to say that. Even though her loss is not the same as losing a child, she's in pain and I wanted her to know that it's okay to be that way for as long as she needed to be.
Love and prayers to you all!
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04

5/16/2006 11:43

I don't know if I've posted this here before (and I'm too lazy to go back and look) but I've been reading it a lot lately. It's from the youth pastor who posted a while back; he had read an article about Carey Grace in his online youth ministry website (it was written by the youth pastor who baptized her). I emailed him because his wife's name is the same as our oldest daughter's name. Anyway....he has emailed me a couple of times and this is what he said: "Everytime I cry and miss............, my tears become a stronger testimony of my love to them; an embrace I can't physically give them."
To me, that tells us that it's okay to cry; not tears of self-pity, but tears of loss and love (maybe even joy that they will never feel any more pain or suffering).
I just wanted to pass that along.
Love you all!

5/16/2006 13:26

Hi dear Sue,
We're happy you feel more relaxed here and see that you're amongst sisters, who know of the pain.
No, you NEVER get over it, but what does happen with time (and lots of it) is that you learn how to live with it because it's always going to be a part of you. Don't be too hard on your friend though, thankfully she's never lost a precious child and doesn't know how it is such a unique loss for parents. I've had people say to me "Oh, I know how you feel, I lost my dog last week". NO, you have NO idea how I feel. Or "You should be happy, your child is in Heaven". Yes, of course we're comforted knowing that our child is experiencing real life with God, but it doesn't make us jump up and down with joy, does it - we miss them!! People do mean well, trying to comfort us, but only we who have suffered this ultimate loss can really understand each other.
This is your Circle now too, Sue, and i hope we see more Posts from you when you feel like sharing,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,

5/16/2006 13:39

Hi dear Charlene, I'm happy to read that you're feeling much better today, the clouds have parted and your sunshine has come back out for you.
A long nap and a good talk with a dear, trusted friend can make all the difference and is better medicine that any Dr. could give you.
Wise word's from your Pastor, I agree, it take's more courage to let your tears out than to hold them in - shortly after Shane passed, I was at the Grocery Store. I was coming up to the frozen foods section and I 'heard' Shane's voice in my head telling me not to forget his ice-cream. I just lost it then and there. People came over to see if I was alright and I said no, I just lost my son and the ice cream section hit me like a ton of bricks. They were very kind and I left the store, went back to my car and let it come out more. To this day, I have never purchased Butterscotch Ripple ice cream, it's still too painful,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,

5/16/2006 14:47

Here's another quote that I keep on my board above my desk:

If knowing answers to life's questions is absolutely necessary to you, then forget the journey. You will never make it, for this is a journey of unknowables--of unanswered questions, enigmas, incomprehensibles, and most of all things unfair.--Madame Jeanne Guyon.

Isn't that the truth!? I guess that's what faith is all about, trusting God when we don't know what's going on or why things happen the way they do.
Love, Charlene

5/16/2006 15:05

Sandy, thanks for your post. I'm still not back to my 'up' days but I am better than I was. One of the keys for me is KNOWING that God is still here and He still cares for me. I know that 'this too shall pass'; I just need to keep going down this path unless God points me in another direction. When I stay close to Him I will eventually hear His voice and receive His peace once again.
I have started at the beginning of your prayer circle here and have been reading the posts; I'm up to page 38. Such varied (yet the same) pain in each person's life! This world has a lot of mixed up people in it, because who in their right mind would take another person's life. There are also a lot of hurting souls in the world that need our prayers. This circle has helped me so much! and it has also opened my eyes to another world out there.
May God bless you abundantly for obeying His voice in reaching out to 'us'!
Love, Charlene

5/17/2006 14:46

Hi dear Sue.I am glad to see you posting again. Yes my dear friend, this is a very lonely road, only us, who have gone through this type of loss will understand, the rest of the world, they can not even imagine it. We have all have encountered friends who say the wrong thing, like "Life goes on", you have to be happy, you can't be so sad, try to get over it, at the begining I used to get furious, even though I knew they did not mean bad, I just wanted to hit them, now,I just smile and try to change the subject, there is no use trying to explain.I also went to a support group, just once, I never went back, I could not stand people trying to cheer me up, I am still going to therapy, my psichologist understands me very well, she lost a son 11 years ago, she knows of the pain, besides her, this is the only place where I feel comfortable, letting it out and knowing that my dear sister know exactly what I mean, this is a very safe Heaven and I thank God 24/7 for bringing me here and for my dear Angel in Chief Sandy listening to Him and creating this wonderful Circle of Love. Love Selva

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