Prayer Circles

Healed and Whole


One day I dug a little hole
and put my hurt inside
I thought that I could just forget
I'd put it there to hide.

But that little hurt began to grow
I covered it every day
I couldn't leave it and go on
It seemed the price I had to pay.

My joy was gone, my heart was sad
Pain was all I knew.
My wounded soul enveloped me
Loving seemed too hard to do.

One day, while standing by my hole
I cried to God above
And said, "If You are really there --
They say, You're a God of love!"

And just like that -- He was right there
And just put His arms around me
He wiped my tears, His hurting child
There was no safer place to be.

I told Him all about my hurt
I opened up my heart
He listened to each and every word
To every sordid part.

I dug down deep and got my hurt
I brushed the dirt away
And placed it in the Master's hand
And healing came that day.

He took the blackness of my soul
And set my spirit FREE!
Something beautiful began to grow
Where the hurt used to be.

And when I look at what has grown
Out of my tears and pain
I remember every day to give my hurts to Him
And never bury them again.

Author Unknown

Good morning my dear friends,
I posted this poem bc I felt there are so many of us who can relate to it.
God id a God of Love, mercey, and Grace. He can heal our broken hearts. He hears us when we cry. All we have to do is open up our hearts and minds.
I love you all and my hope is that this poem helps someone today.

Jennifer
Amiee's mom

Jennifer the poem was beautiful. Thanks Lask and Grandma Charlene for your prayers. I had already learned to get along without Kim and then the wreck that took Josh was almost more than I could handle. But with God's help I will make it. Thank's again. God bless you. Anita

Dear Anita---Yes, we were just getting over a court case where my husbands parents and his older sister took away our right to see his youngest sister. It was a big mess and I was just coming out of the pits of depression when our granddaughters were killed in the car wreck. That put me into shock for 3 months, and then denial and anger for almost a year until I started corresponding here in this circle. Now I'm dealing with my grief and hopefully healing in the process. It's a long and hard road, but with the help of the dear sisters here and God above, I'm coping at least. God bless you and keep you in His care.
Love,
Charlene

Hi all--Just got a phone call that our daughter is in the hospital, so hopefully baby will be here tonight or maybe early morning hours. Keep praying. Thank you.
Love you all!
Charlene

Hi Anita. Welcome to our Circle of Love. I'm sorry that we have to meet this way, but you have come to the right place. You will find love, prayers and understanding here, we all know of the horrible pain of loosing a child, there is no judgement here, you can let your pain out in any way you need to and all you will find is lots of prayers and love. I lost my daughter Solange, 20 years old to a car accident, Aug 15, 2002, she was my only child, it is still devastating for me, I have found so much understanding and prayers here with all our dear Angel sisters, that I could not find even with my own family. Not everybody understands our pain, only the people who have gone through it, like all the dear sisters in our Circle of Love. Please post anytime you want and you will always find an answer, love and a prayer. Love Selva.

Hi Lask. So great to see another posts from you. I'm so glad that your foot its doing better, it most be uncomfortable to have the stiches, but I am sure that pretty soon it will be over and your foot will be just fine my dear sister. My love and prayers to you also. Selva

Hi my dear Jenn. Thanks for sharing that beautiful poem, yes God is Good, thanks to Him I am able to keep my sanity and He does listen to our prayers and He wants all of us to know that He is keeping our Angel kids very happy and safe until we will be with them again, and this time Forever. Love. Selva

Hi my dear Charlene. My (our) prayers will be with your daughter and baby all night, I am sure that they will be just fine, and the proud grandmother too. Please let us know about them as soon as you can. Love my dear sister. Selva

I lost my son October 24, 1994. It feels like yesterday! My thoughts and prayers go out to all my sisters who, as this Mother's Day rolls around are joined with me in one heart and mind. I pray for us all, but I know we are not invisible because we too ARE MOTHERS. Happy Mother's Day!

Dear Sandy and all, This is Kim that moved to Ocala Florida almost a year ago. I lost my beautiful Diana, 25, 8 days after she gave birth to her baby girl, Julia Belle. We adopted Julia and she will be 2 in July. We are coming up on the anniversary of Diana's birth into heaven and Julia's 2nd birthay and my 50th birthday...all in the same week. We do love Ocala. We are blessed by Julia. Our 11 yr old son is doing well in his new school and my husband likes his new job. I did something I thought I would never do again back in late 2004. I directed a production of teenagers in Anne of Green Gables. Anne's best friend is Diana. My daughter was a consummate actress. I had said I would never step foot in a theatre again, but I did and it was wonderful. I felt Diana's pride in what I was doing again. The kids were wonderful. I will do it again. It was the happiest and most fulfilled I have felt since that awful year.
I am writing a fitness column for a magazine too...something else, I never dreamed I would do. Diana was proud that I had accomplished some life wishes in the year before she left us.
I have very bad moments still...It wasn't that many months ago that I prayed for death, cancer and accident...anything to take me out of this world. I kept saying to God that my time was over and I needed to go home. The hardest part of all of this now, is that Julia is the carbon copy of her mother, in every way imaginable. I forget and call her by my daughter's name. My motherhood is so complicated now. Please continue to pray for me...and please pray for our 16 yr old who is suffering a lot. Also, our 26 yr old may be sent to Iraq. This will be another difficult trial.
May God lift us through this Mother's Day.
God bless us....and keep us.
Kim Sandstrom ~ Ocala, Florida

Hi all!
We have a new baby, born at 12:01 a.m. on May 9th. He is 7 pounds (he was losing weight a few days before birth) and 20 3/4 inches long. I don't know if I can go see them without tears. I know my daughter doesn't want 'sadness' so I don't know what to do. I'd appreciate your prayers today and in the days to come. I'd like to treat this as a special event but my heart is still breaking from hurt and rejection. I saw my doctor yesterday and he said to not take it personally (that our daughter doesn't want to be around us because of our 'sadness'). It's hard to know what to do. I need God's wisdom and peace about all this!
Love you all!
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://mylovelygarden.com/2beautifulgirls.html

OMG, Congratulations, Charlene!! Another wonderful grandson, I'm very happy for you and Grandpa and of course your daughter & hubby, :-)
Wouldn't these be tears of joy, though?
Oh yes, sweetie, you can be assured of our prayers that God will guide you to do what He want's you to and to comfort your hurt feeling's. AND of course for the new Grandson too, :-)
Hip, hip, hooray!
Much love, prayers & Tender Hugs,
Sandy

Hello dear Anita, welcome also to the Circle. I'm so sorry that you lost two children, the pain of losing one is tortuous enough, but I just can't imagine losing two, God love you. The loss of your son is so recent, I know you must be in that raw, biting pain right now that's with you 24/7 in the begining - we all know that pain all too well. Yes, please post anytime, this is a very safe haven to let your feeling's out and always be honoured for them, together with support and God's Graces and Love, we do come through the fire, but of course we never, ever forget.
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi everyone. I appreciate all the prayers and I've been doing some myself. Congratulations Charlene on the new addition. Trust in God He'll give you direction on how to handle things. I'm praying for you. Anita

Well hello dear Kim, what a nice surprise, hearing from you again!! Yes, I remember you - you wrote such a touching post at my Shane's Memorial siite here at B'net and I've reread it (and others) many times!
That's quite a lot to handle in one week, not your Birthday though, you'll be welcomed into the five-oh Club and it's great.
It really sound's as though all of you are enjoying and thriving in the Florida sunshine, that's so good to hear.
You directed a play of "Anne of Green Gables"? That was one of my all time favourite books when I was a young girl, I love the story! Look at the joy you experienced directing it, perhaps it was therapeutic for you and a wonderful way for you to honor Diana.
OMG, woman of many talent's, :-) you're also writing a fitness column for a magazine? Gosh, good for you, I'm very happy for you - you are accomplishing many things and I know your Diana is very proud of her Mom, :-).
Of course you're still going to have bad moments sweetie, it still hasn't been that long and the Grief Journey is like that sometimes - 3 step's forward and 1 back, but keep pressing on, sometimes the road is rocky and then it become's smooth again.
Ah, yes, I remember those thoughts and prayers too, every night I'd ask God to please bring me home too, the pain was so great, I just wanted to be with my Shane. I know exactly what you mean and how it feel's. But we're still both here, so God still has work for us to do for Him!
Yes, of course dear one you and your family will be in my (our) prayers, there's still much healing to do on top of every day life and all it bring's.
Please don't be a stranger again, beside's, I may need some fitness tip's from you *grin*
Lots of love, prayers & Hugs,
Sandy

God answered my questions already! My granddaughter, who's 9, called from the hospital and wanted grandma and grandpa to come see her new baby brother. Thank You God! We have our answer and now we are definitely going! Love to you all, and keep praying that this gap will be bridged by God's love.
Charlene

Charlene Great to hear about the new baby boy. I am sure when you go see him the tears will be happy ones and there will be no sadness. You will be thinking of the others but it will be a happy time for the new arrival. God Bless and He will guide you through this and He will be there for all of you. Enjoy the new precious one.
Lee Ann

Hello everyone, OMG so much has happened in the couple days I have been working. Congrats on the new g-son Charlene. And A big WELCOME to all new angel moms. I hate we have to meet this way but you have come to the right place.
I just wanted to check in but I cant post long bc I have to go to work. Working two jobs is very tiring for me. Thats all I get done is work work work. I just got up from sleeping all day because I was so tired this morning and my eyes are all swollen and my fibro is trying to act up on me now. I promise to sit down and catch up with everyone real soon.
My Love and prayers to you all.
Jennifer

I want to wish you all a Happy Mothers Day bc I wont get a chance to be back here for a couple of days. I work all day today and tommorow I am working 12 hours. I am off Sunday but I will be spending the day with my family. So Love and hugs to you all.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

I wish you joy and laughter,
No doubts or times of fear;
Love forever after
Through all of your many years.

I wish you sunshine and roses,
Blue skies for every day,
And, as each day closes,
Starlight to grace the way.

I wish you friendship's warming hand
And doors that never close,
Rolling tides and silver sands,
God's blessings -- all of those.

I wish you moonlight and rainbows,
A prayer to wrap around your day,
All the good things, heaven knows,
And a super Mother's Day.

~ Irene Larsen

Hi all!
Well, our daughter and baby are home now. They had to wait until her hubby named the baby; and after all the searching and pondering, he decided on the name that our daughter had chosen several months ago. LOL!
I feel kind of numb, not really happy. I wrote my daughter a letter telling her that if I have done anything wrong that she would feel free to tell me; and that I missed her and her kids. I also told her that I knew that her plate was full but if she wanted to talk I would be there for her. I kind of left the decision up to her about whether or not she wanted to see us; I don't want to push in and 'invade her space'. We still need your prayers!
My hubby and I went to 8th grade graduation last night; Casey would have been in that class. We went especially for Casey's best friend, Jennifer. She was really glad to see us and I'm glad we went. Her family wants to get together with us sometime this summer. Some of the other girls in the class came up and gave us hugs, even had pictures taken with us. That's all our daughter needs to see, pictures of us with Casey's friends posted on the internet! LOL! (One of the mothers is famous for her pictures posted on the internet.)
May God bless each one of you this Mother's Day! May He give you much joy, fill your hearts with peace and comfort (knowing our kids are in a better place) and overwhelm you with His love.
Love you all!
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://mylovelygarden.com/2beautifulgirls.html

Good morning to all. Thanks to everyone who has made me feel so welcome in your circle each of you are wonderful. Charlene i'm still praying for you and your daughter, you did the right thing in writing her a letter now it's up to her. But the Good Lord still works miracles. I know everything will work out. Keep smiling. Anita

I've come to a startling realization this morning. I went to Aidan's Kindergarten graduation (same family as two girls we lost) and talked with our daughter; she seemed fine, just tired, but we didn't talk about any deep issues. On the way home I found myself sobbing and angry. I thought I was angry with my daughter but thoughts started coming to my mind about how unfair it is that Casey and Carey are not here to meet their baby brother or to see their younger brother graduate from Kindergarten today. It's not fair that Casey wasn't at 8th grade graduation last night, I kept thinking. Here I was driving down the road crying and yelling and I started praying. I'm asking God to give me peace. I know that the girls are in a better place. I know that their job or mission here on earth was done. I know that I'll see them again some day. But that doesn't give me peace right now. I need to FEEL all of that in my heart and not just KNOW it in my head. I feel better just knowing what's making me angry because I know that's part of grieving. Now I don't feel guilty for being angry; I just want God to work me through it to the other side.
Thank you all for your understanding and prayers. This week is one of those valley weeks. Thank God that He is with me and will see me through this. Thank you all for being there for me, too.
Love you!
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://mylovelygarden.com/2beautifulgirls.html

Hello dear AngelMom Anita,
This is YOUR Circle too, you remember that :-). I'm so happy you feel at home here, not for the reason why, I wish it was a Circle for flowers and waterfalls and rainbows, sometimes it is, but we'll all sisters trying to deal with the unimaginable - the loss of one of our precious children/grandchildren. If you ever want to rant, rave, let your anger out as Charlene has done, we're all just here to support you and give you an 'ear', smetimes that's what you need and other times our love and support, when you're having a bad day.
So please, think of this as your Circle too, because it is,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy