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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.


shaner
12/13/2001 07:45

Hello setfreebyfaith, thank you for your prayers and kind words of encouragement. I'm sorry to read that you also lost a child, your baby, but it seems as though your tremendous faith has brought you through the fire so to speak. May we all remember to hold tightly onto the hands of God as we deal with our own grief. God bless you and yes, prayer is so very important.
Luv Sandy


ROBBIECAKES30
12/14/2001 02:07

I WANTED TO THANK ALL FOR YOUR PRAYERS FOR MY FAMILY.I WILL ALSO PRAY FOR ALL OF YOU WHO GRIEVE AS I DO EVERYDAY.I MYSELF GO AND VISIT MY SONS DAILY AND I PRAY ALOT AS I SIT UPON THEIR GRAVE AND PEACE WASHES OVER ME AS I DO.GODS HANDS ARE UPON ME I KNOW AS HIS SWEET WHISPERS OF COMFORT FILL MY SOUL AS ONLY HE CAN DO.I DID NOT KNOW OUR GOD UNTIL MY BOYS WENT TO HIM AND NOW I WONDER HOW I LIVED ANYDAY WITHOUT HIM IN MY LIFE. AT FIRST I THOUGHT THIS WAS A WAY TO PUNISH ME ,BUT NOW I KNOW DIFFERENT.MY HEART TRUELY DOES GO OUT TO ALL OF YOU AND SO WILL MY DAILY PRAYERS...
HERE IS A FEW WORDS I FOUND IN A BOOK THAT I BOUGHT..
THEY WHOM WE LOVE AND LOSE ARE NO LONGER WHERE THEY WERE BEFORE,THEY ARE NOW.....WHEREVER WE ARE.
MAY GOD TRUELY BLESS US ALL
MY HEART TO ALL
ROBBIE


ROBBIECAKES30
12/14/2001 02:13

Tiny,sleepy angel, fresh from god,to god returned,perfection unaware,you are most beloved, on earth and heaven:
Awaken now and to joy.
written by b.milleson james


shaner
12/14/2001 08:28

Hi Robbie, it's so nice to see you posting again. I'm happy that you've found some peace in your heart over the passings of your boys. I'm also happy that you have a closer relationship with God, He wants you to know Him and loves you so much in return.
Thank you for all your prayers also, with all of us praying for each other, it takes some of the bite out of our grief and brings a little peace into our lives.
That's a beautiful little quote that you posted, it gives much comfort and put a smile on my face as I read it! God bless you Robbie and may you continue to have that peace and knowing as you journey along,
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
12/15/2001 08:40

Hi Sandy, hi All! It's been a while since I have posted, but I want you to know that I always remember to pray for all members of our prayer circle everyday and sometimes several times a day. With the holidays coming up,it will be difficult, but with prayer, and God's help, we will make it through. I would like to share a poem that I wrote sometime ago. May it bring a little comfort to those of you who have been on this journey for a long time; and for others,(in time). May God Bless!


LOVE2U
12/15/2001 09:09

For my friends at Bereaved Parents:
(I wrote this poem 3 years after my daughter's tragic death in an effort to encourage myself.) :)
My Cross

At times my cross seems heavy
Sometimes I fail to see
The Ultimate purpose in this life
That God has planned for me

At times I feel I can't go on
Such crosses I must bear
Sometimes it seems I'm the only one
Sometimes life seems so unfair

But then I look around me
And I'm amazed to see
That there are others on this journey
With crosses just like me

And yet the ones who are just ahead
Are reaching back to me
They too have crosses of their own
This I can plainly see

Dear Lord what can I learn from them
Mus I too reach behind (someday)
To see if I can lend a hand
To others that I find

Their crosses may be just as heavy
As mine the day before
If (in time) I can reach back to them
Ant lift them up once more

Then they can do the same someday...
Reach back and lend a hand
To someone else who has a cross
To help them understand

In time-I must be there for others
My God has helped me to see
That what I do to encourage others
Has already been done for me

Oh God please help me remember
That I have so much to do
To try to give back to others
The help I've received from You

Then their crosses won't seem so heavy
For their cross I will have shared
Like you-I will give of myself
And show others that I care

God Bless!
Verna



shaner
12/15/2001 15:34

Hello Verna, nice to see you back, even though some may not post all the time, we all know that we're being prayed for, so may God bless you.
I just loved your poem, and how true it is! Those who are further along the journey can help those who are just beginning, remembering the support and help that we have all received through our own losses. May we always remember that, and do our best to try and help moms as they struggle with their grief. Thanks for posting and sharing it with us all!
Luv Sandy


Babbs
12/16/2001 13:20

Our son Jason,at age 22 was murdered in January 2001. His 23rd birthday is today. We miss him so very much and my heart feels broken that he can't be here to continue his life and fullfill his dreams. I pray for all the parents and siblings of lost children and what they must endure! We must ensure their memory lives on. Babbs


norrismama
12/17/2001 04:00

dear LORD
please, in your infinite power, cover anyone suffering with grief at this time, with your blanket of peace and love. Warm them with your compassion and give them a glimpse of your kingdom, where angels and their babies are happily together--safe and protected. I have not lost a child, but ache at the thought of knowing somewhere a mother and father are feeling this loss. Somedays i don't leave the house, I just hold and kiss my two girls. I do this because I know that a mother somewhere is wishing she could do it one more time. God if it is your will watch over this house and send angels to guard grieving parents. Thank you for all your blessings


shaner
12/17/2001 08:37

Hello Babbs, I'm so very sorry to read about Jason. It must have been so painful to lose him so young and so tragically. Yesterday, his birthday, must have been very hard on you and your family, I pray that you were able to remember some fond memories through your tears. Losing a beloved child is a very painful event and yes, we all do what we feel is meaningful to keep our child's spirit and life alive, and to honour the life that they shared with us and all those they came into contact with, we never really know how we affect another's life. May God bless you and your family as you go through this, and thank you for your prayers, you and your family will definitely be prayed for here,
Luv Sandy


shaner
12/17/2001 08:42

norrismama, thank you for your wonderful prayer, we truly appreciate it when a person and a parent posts here just to say a prayer for us all, we need them and they help to carry us through our bad days. I know that God is watching over this 'house' and carrying us through when we feel that we just can't do it on our own, so may God bless you and your wonderful little girls abundantly for posting your beautiful prayer here!
Luv Sandy


busyangel
12/17/2001 12:38

My son Brian died in Feb 1968 I still find I have days when I miss him so much. He enjoyed being with family at Christmas time. He was at our home three or four times a week to eat supper and play pinochle. He liked to play games and bought games for everyone else. He was loving and gentle. Sally


shaner
12/17/2001 19:10

Hello busyangel, Sally! I'm so sorry you lost your Brian you must still miss him so much, especially at this time of the year, the memories come flooding back. He sounds like a wonderful person, and I know he's still watching out for you all in Heaven. Have a peaceful, blessed Holiday Season Sally, and we'll remember you and your family in our prayers.
Luv Sandy


pun82224
12/17/2001 21:05

MaryDandrea,
I am very, very sorry for your loss. I know the feelings you have gone thru and will go thru. But as each day passes you look up into the sky and you know your son is much happier where he is now then where he was. He is watching over you. You will know when he is there with you. Take it as its given. It will help to go on. God bless you for sharing a part of you.


shaner
12/23/2001 08:43

This is a difficult time of the year for anybody who has lost a child, especially the newly bereaved who will be experiencing their first Holiday without their beloved child with them. It will be extremely difficult for most. My prayers for all of you at this time includes some peace of heart and that the love of the Father will sustain you throughout this Holiday season. May God bless you all and also your families.
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
12/24/2001 08:10

My heart goes out to each bereaved parent who has lost a child. To the moms who are facing their first holiday without their precious child, please know that very special heartfelt prayers have been prayed; asking God to help you make it through this period. This will be the fifth holiday period since God took my daughter Dianeback to heaven to live forever with Him. Even though my faith assures me that she is still with me in spirit, I still miss her physical presence. I know I always will. The only difference is, the indescribable grief and pain is not so intense now. I have reached a point where I no longer ask God to just let me die. I am now thankful that God didn't listen to me, because the pain did get easier to bear - in time! So, I say to our newly bereaved moms; take your time,and don't try to rush your grieving period. According to one of my grief counselors; grief is something we never get beyond, but in time, we can learn to live with the grief. We do that by finding those moments of peace that our faith brings to us through our families and our friends. We then magnify those brief moments of peace until they permeate our being and make what was once intense grief, a little easier to bear.

In time, and I do mean it took a lot of time for me; (because nobody told me during the early stages that I needed grief counseling), I found that to be true. My advice to any mom who has lost a child; especially the newly bereaved parents, please know that grief counseling does help. I thought I was losing my mind for well over a year! Once I got therapy, and joined a support group, and once I discovered that other moms had survived their child's death, I eventually started believing that I just might regained my will to live. That's why I have so much faith that it will - in time - happen for you, too. May God bless each and every one.
Love to All
Verna


joseph16
12/24/2001 10:54

I cruised through Thanksgiving and felt a gift of peace that came from my child-but today does not appear like it will be such an easy holiday.


shaner
12/26/2001 06:33

Hello Joseph 16, I hope that yesterday wasn't too hard on you; Christmas seems to be the hardest holiday for parents perhaps because it's so family-oriented and of course you remember Christmases past, when your child was with you, yesterday was bittersweet for us also, there is always that empty chair there that will never be filled again. May God bless you and give you some peace of heart.
Luv Sandy


shaner
12/26/2001 06:40

LOVE2U, Verna, how very true those words are that you wrote, we in time learn to live with the grief, we incorporate it into our hearts and daily living so that it becomes manageable, instead of it managing us, but it does take a while, doesn't it.
Yes, I would also recommend counselling or group support for any bereaved mom, I still belong to our local Bereavement Group which meets twice a month, so if it is available to any of you in your area I highly recommend it. It's a safe haven amongst other moms who've experienced similar losses to let your feelings and pain out, with a professional grief counsellor to help you along. Nice to see you again Verna and I hope you had a peaceful Christmas.
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
12/27/2001 07:23

Hi Sandy,and thank you for your kind words and support. Yes,Christmas day was very peaceful for me this year. For the first time in a long, long time, I even managed to experience a bit of joy.
The night before Christmas, I had trouble falling asleep, even after I had prayed for all. I thought of all the newly bereaved moms and how painful these holidays must be for them. So, I got up, made coffee, and decided to post and share some of the things my grief counselor shared with me. Then, I said a little prayer before clicking on submit. I asked God to please bless these newly bereaved moms especially; as I recalled how hard the first of every holiday and other special days had been for me. Being further along on this neverending journey of grief, and having met with my grief conselor so recently,I was able to make a concious effort to look for ways to find that bit of peace/joy which he spoke of - through family and friends.
My heartfelt prayer was that God would give each of us - who have lost a child - the strength to endure; but especially the newly bereaved moms.
Sandy, I hope that your day was peaceful also. And, as we go forward, I pray that the new year will be filled with peace and blessings for all.
Love to All
Verna


shaner
12/28/2001 08:52

Hello Verna, I'm so happy for you that Christmas this year was more joy-filled than those of past years. That's so kind of you also to pray for moms who would have experienced their first Christmas without their child with them, how painfully I remember it myself. I know our prayers may have lessened their grief just a bit, and I'm grateful for that, as I know you are too. Yes, every 'first' during the first and even second years can be so painful, we just want the day to end.
This Christmas bothered my husband more than myself, but after speaking with our grief counsellor he was assured that it was very normal in grief to have these feelings even into the third Christmas without our Shane. I still don't find much joy in the secular way from Christmas, but in time I hope to become like you and once again appreciate the day. May God bless you Verna, and may He also bless all the other moms and dads, families and friends, who experienced their Christmas without their beloved child.
Luv Sandy


c-lynn
12/30/2001 17:12

I can't even imagine how it feels to loose a child, but my heart goes out to those who have. I pray that God would help those who have, and bless Shaner. She is truly a caring person. Amen


dec12001
12/31/2001 05:26

my daughter died 30 days ago,she was 15yrs old,I hope God would hear our prayers and help us all through the healing process. My prayers are with you


LOVE2U
12/31/2001 06:21

Hi Sandy,I pray that you and the other moms have been able to find moments of peace during these holidays. I understand what you mean about not finding joy in the secular way from Christmas. Personally, I don't think I ever will again. For the first time, I did what it took for me to make it through Christmas. Family helped by accepting my decision to do things differently this year. I did no shopping. Instead, I gave gift certificates. I did no cooking at all. Christmas Eve, my husband and I celebrated our wedding anniversary by having a quiet seafood dinner (ordered) from a local cafe. We didn't have a tree this year. Instead, we lit a candle for our Diane, and recalled some of the happier moments we shared with her in days gone by. This was the first Christmas that my husband was able to open up and talk about Diane. We had dinner (Christmas Day) at my aunt's home. (My mother died May 22, 2000). In our family we pull names at Thanksgiving, and exchange gifts Christmas Day after dinner. Watching our only grandson and the other youngsters open and enjoy their gifts did bring us that little joy that I spoke of. Our visit lasted about two hours. Then, we said our good byes, and returned home to enjoy peace and quiet for the rest of the day. :)To ensure this, we turned the ringers off on all telephones. :)

Another dear friend of mine who lost her son, Andy, tragically back in 1994 sent me a card which said; Some days it's tougher to hang in there than others. (This will always be true!)Then, she added,..But we hang in there and go on ...We know where our strength and peace comes from ...keep your joy!
We who have lost our children -- (and this includes my friend), know that it is impossible to "keep our joy." I recognized her words to be wishful thinking. We know that these moments of joy/peace cannot last, no matter what we do! We will always grieve for our children. But in time, we do learn to appreciate those "few" moments of relief. When we do, we are so very grateful for them, that we pray that other moms will come to know such moments, too -- in their own time.
If only for a few moments at a time, I pray that God will, throughout the new year, grant those few moments of relief often, for each and every one of us who have lost our precious children. I will continue to pray this special prayer in Jesus' name, Amen
Much love/peace/ and -- in time -- if only for a few moments at a time -- all the joy you can stand! :)
Love to All
Verna

 
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