Prayer Circles

Thanks Selva, Sandy and Miss V. Your inspirituation gives so nuch soul to us all. SANDY: My love will be coming your and Shanes way on the 15th., but as you know, it's there all the time to. I'm so proud to be a part of this DIVINE CIRCLE. I know that we're all directed here by our Father and His Son when we're ready for it. I hear it over & over "i don't know how I found this circle, but I'm so glad I did." Those of us who have realized It's through God & Jesus "KNOW." It's Them" giving us a way to overcome our grief and sorrow and realize that our kids are in a place where there's no sorrow, pain, hurt, or anything negative. They're up there getting all our loved ones ready for us all to meet again someday. We all have to finish our jobs here on earth. This circle helps us do that. YES< Pastor Landon did an exceptional ministry and I thank you for all your prayers. I ask that you continue to pray for Pastor and his cancer, and thank you for that. Love & Prayers...Suangels2

Thank you, suangels2, for your help. I had wondered the same thing you said, about not cleaning the room because it meant you were accepting the fact that they were never coming back. I have a first cousin who lives about 20 miles from us; her 17yo daughter was killed in a car wreck 4 years ago and she has never touched her daughter's room. I think I understand why now. Our daughter doesn't stay in touch with us like she used to; she was here with the kids about 2-3 times a week before the wreck. I tried to schedule get-togethers with our whole family last year about once a month; then our daughter said it bothered her to come to our house because she had so many memories of the girls here. Then I stopped having the get-togethers and we don't see her much any more. That bothers me. I know I need to let her have her 'space' but I don't want to neglect her either. With Easter coming up, I hope she can come here without being too upset.
I didn't stay on the computer last night because we had high winds, lightning, and rain and hail starting about 8 pm. I lost my modem about a year ago because of lightning so I make sure I unplug it now when a storm is coming.
My husband and I went to the cemetery yesterday to put out spring flowers at the girls' gravesite. We hadn't been there in a few weeks even though it's just about 3 miles from us. We used to go at least 3 or 4 times a week. He feels guilty for not going every day like he used to; I feel like we might be 'moving on' with our lives and don't need to be 'near' the girls as much as we did. I try to get him to understand that I'll never forget the girls but I don't need to be 'by their side' as much as before. (Now I have you all to talk to and that helps TREMENDOUSLY!!) Thank you all SO MUCH for your prayers and love and support!
Love and prayers to all of you today, that God would protect you and your families, that He would give you peace and joy, and surround you with His love and comfort.
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-16-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://www.mylovelygarden.com/sisterscareyandcasey.html

I forgot to add this to my letter above; it's a garden plaque that I found in a magazine that I get now. A friend of mine sent me an e-card after the girls' deaths from this place; it's called Abbey Press. They have some wonderful memorials and I've gotten several; for the girls' gravesite and for myself here at the house. This plaque is heart-shaped and has roses and leaves around the edges. It says: "I am not lost, but living still. For dying merely frees us To walk in angels' gardens, Hand-in-Hand with Jesus." Then it has a place for the person's name and dates of birth and death. I thought that was very appropriate for me since I realized that the girls were not 'lost'; so I ordered 2 for my flower garden, with each of the girls' names on them. And it is appropriate for you all since you refer so much to angels. I believe in angels and I can 'see' the girls dancing with the angels in heaven. I've been looking for a figurine of an angel dancing with two girls; I've found one with an angel dancing with one girl, but not two. If any of you have seen a figurine like this, let me know how to find it.
Thank you all again; have a wonderful day. (Some day soon I'll tell you the story of our first grandson who was adopted. I've been thinking a lot about him lately because he is the older half-brother of the two girls who were killed.)
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-16-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://www.mylovelygarden.com/sisterscareyandcasey.html

Hello all my sisters!!! I just love coming to the circle!!! It gives me so much PEACE that I cannot otherwise find sometimes.
My husband (Mark) and I chose to move from the house where we shared Marcus, and rented it to someone who was supposed to be a friend. I had left Marcus's room in tact up until then. Our "friend" promised to keep all of his things stored neatly away until I was ready to do something with them. Well, needless to say, our "friend" was no friend, and most of his things (as well as the rest of the house) were all but destroyed. It took a lot of prayer to be able to watch my angel's things go out with the rest of the trash. (a fire would have been easier to handle, I think) The bible says I have to forgive her, and I need some extra prayers to do that, because right now, I really just want to punch her in the mouth!!! (God, please forgive me)
But honestly, I have read, and re-read, Matthew 6:19-21, to try to remember that our treasures our not here on earth. Nor are our angels. As everyone has said, they are in heaven, and they aren't worried about any of those things that are left behind. We grasp so tightly to all of their belongings, and our angels don't miss them at all. Our angels will FOREVER be stored in our hearts!! That is what we have to grasp!!! I can see all of them, in the city of angels, laughing and playing...not a care in the world. And the one thing I have to look forward to, is knowing that someday, myself, with all my angel sisters here, will be joining them for that HUGE party!!!
Thank God I found this circle. It is the BEST thing that has happened to me since Marcus got his wings. ( I think it actually saved my marriage!! )

LOVE, PRAYERS, ANGEL (((HUGS))) AND KISSES TO ALL!!!!!

Donna ( dickensdonna@yahoo.com )

Dear sister Donna, I'm sorry you had to go through all that with your 'friend' and your precious memories of Marcus. You're right, though, about laying up treasure in Heaven; after all, that's our forever home. This earth is just temporary with all it's disappointment, pain, tears, etc. What would we do without the hope of Heaven to go to someday, where we'll see our children and babies and grandchildren. Instead of us teaching them here, they'll be teaching us there since they've been there longer.
And I can't wait to meet you, sisters, because I'm sure I'll recognize you; you'll be the ones standing by your children! Right? That brings a smile to my face just thinking about our great reunion/first meeting.
(And I just realized today that I have had the wrong date for Michael all along; so this note will have the correct date.)
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://www.mylovelygarden.com/sisterscareyandcasey.html

Dear sisters, I found out today why we haven't seen our daughter for quite a while; I emailed her and finally got an answer from her when I told her we hadn't heard from her in a while (at least 3 weeks) and was she all right. She's been busy doing things with Carey's and Casey's friends and/or their families/moms. I was hurt at first even though I didn't tell her that. Then when I thought about it more, I realized that I should be happy that she is taking care of herself and not trying to take care of us too. Does that make sense? I'm glad she's doing what she feels like she needs to be doing, and not worrying about us or making sure we're okay. She might not be able to do that right now, she might have all she can handle just taking care of herself and her husband and kids, without making sure we're okay too. She's staying busy, still going to all the games (volleyball, basketball, etc.) at school and keeping involved with the two classes that the girls would have been in. It makes me tired just thinking about it. I realize that she has her friends and I have mine and we shouldn't have to have the same ones. I hope you understand what I'm saying; it's just another part of a parent 'letting go' I guess.
Love you all! I'm glad I have you to 'talk' to.
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://www.mylovelygarden.com/sisterscareyandcasey.html

Today's Story -

Met For the Second Time

It started last spring when my daughter signed on to the Internet.

She found it very interesting and kept asking me to try it. At age 50, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to learn what I would need to know. I kept declining.

Finally, after some encouragement and being reminded of how I had learned to use the computer, I conceded. I have to admit that it was very enjoyable and I found so many interesting things.

Then one day, I typed in the word "adoption" on a search engine. I couldn't believe all the stuff that came up. I became obsessed.

You see, I had a baby boy when I was a teen and I relinquished him to adoption, but I never stopped thinking about him and praying for his well being. I had been waiting since 1985 for my birth son to contact me. He turned 18 that year, and I, along with many other birth moms, was told during the time of relinquishment that when he became 18, he would be able to obtain information on me that would allow him to make contact.

That was wrong, but I didn't find that out until last year. I thought that since my birth son had never contacted me, he was not interested in knowing who I was or in obtaining any identifying information. Most people, that have never been connected to anyone that has been adopted or relinquished a baby, have no idea what the majority of them deal with.

The birth mother always wondering if her child had a good life, if he/she is safe, and the dreaded thoughts of whether he/she is dead. The adoptee, wondering why, wondering who they look like, what nationality they are, and what their medical history is. We are all denied the right to know any of this because of state laws.

By February 1999, I had been searching the Internet for 10 months, contacting the Court and Children and Youth Services and not receiving one shred of hope. I was told that I had no rights and there was nothing I could do.

I was ready to give up.

I prayed and told God that I knew it was out of my control and if it were His will He would make it happen. I would wait on Him.

The following week, with God guiding me to read a post written on the Internet by a birth mom angel, I was given one last thing to do before I quit.

The post didn't have much in it, just that she had a baby girl at St. Vincent's in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and a social worker from CSS had reunited her with her daughter. Something inside me told me to write to this woman and ask her about her reunion with her daughter and how it came about. She wrote and told me to call a number in Philadelphia and ask a social worker if they could help.

Six weeks later, I met my son, Joseph, for the second time in 32 years.

I was the beneficiary of a miracle. I could write so much more about the details, but they are not of importance. What is important is the fact that we should never stop believing in miracles.

May you all be blessed with your own miracle, and if there is anyone out there that is thinking about a lost loved one, don't ever give up that faith, hope or love.

--Author Unknown

Charlene, I thought of you when I read this story in my email, but I didn't have your email to forward it.
Hope no one minds that I pasted it all here!!!

LOVE to ALL!!!

Donna

Thank you, Donna! That was a very encouraging story; I'm going to share it with my daughter.
My email is mct@ckt.net.
I was gone to town today to buy flowers for my daughter and for Carey's gravesite; this Sat., Mar.18 was Carey's birthdate.
Love to you all!
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://www.mylovelygarden.com/sisterscareyandcasey.html

Remembering our Special Day Angel Moms/Dads


A Special Day Prayer

May you feel your Angel’s nearness today.
May you recall many fond memories to
Remind you of the endless joy that waits.
May your day be filled with many peaceful
Moments for which we all pray. With lots
Of love …
And (((((Angel Hugs)))))
In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen

Even Now

Even now after all this time
I begin each day with you on my mind
Be it summer winter spring or fall
Day or night makes no difference at all

Rain or sunshine blue skies or gray
Thoughts of you are never far away
Oh how I long to hold you close again
And remain forever with you

In that far off promised Land
Even now I know as I kneel down to pray
Such warm and tender thoughts of you
Will always end my nights and begin my days

By: Verna R. Clay
Copyright 2006
All Rights Reserved



On Your Special Day

God always help angel moms/dads
Make it through their special days
As they grieve for their precious children
In their own very special way

I will praise Him forever
For helping me on special days
How well I recall the emptiness
And pain that wouldn’t go away

How well I recall the pain of it all
When I had no desire to survive
The last thing I wanted was to wake up
And find I was still alive

Thank God those times have passed now
And the pain has become easier to bear
As I pray for others and reach out to them
And show them how very much I care

So we say a special prayer today
As angel moms/dads go through their day
As they remember their own special angels in heaven
Please God help them make it through this day.

By Verna R. Clay
Copyright 2006
All Rights Reserved

My dear Angel Shane. It has been 7 long years since you went to Heaven. I know that you will be very close to your mom and dad today, also with Chris, please let show your mom a sign today, tell her how happy you are in the presence of Our Lord. I know how proud you are of your mom, she is an Angel here on Earth. I also know that together with all our Angel Kids you are celebrating your 7th Birthday in Heaven, and Jesus is smiling and also celebrating with you. My love and prayers are with you my dear sister. Know that Shane is smiling to you full of pride. Love and prayers. Selva

Hello all my dear AngelMoms, Sisters, friends,
I want to thank you all for your prayers for me this past week, it's been difficult, these special days as Miss V said are so hard to prepare for, deal with, but here it is, my precious Shane's Anniversary Date. Seven years ago today, a day that started out like any other day, and the weather outside is the same too. Like all of you, we could never know that it was to be his last day with us, the day that changed my life, our life, forever. Time doesn't mean very much when you lose a beloved, much-loved child, I can still clearly remember that day, it's forever etched in my mind and in my heart. The tears still sting my eyes and like all of you, they probably always will. I miss him in my life so, so much. I came across this Poem that touched me and made me wonder myself, will God mind if I run to embrace Shane first when my time come's?

Thank you my dear sister, I know the 15th is a hard day for you too and you know my love and prayers are always with you,
Lots of love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

AngelMom Cindy,
Your precious Krissy has the same Angel date, March 15, 2000, I share in your grief and pain on this day, I just know they're having a big Party in Heaven today for our children on this special day,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

To my dear sisters, Today is a very sad day in our hearts but it should also be a day of rejoicing to know that this is the day that your precious children got to see the face of Jesus (in person!) before you did. MANY times the Psalms of David have helped me and this verse keeps coming to me today: 'God is our refuge and strength, a very PRESENT help in trouble.' (Ps.46:1) May he wrap you in His arms today and comfort you as no one else can!
Love and prayers,
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://www.mylovelygarden.com/sisterscareyandcasey.html

Dear (((((Sandy)))))

I absolutely love the prayer you posted....so VERY appropriate for you and your beloved (((((Shane)))))

I had goosebumps all over my body reading that prayer....it must have been a bereaved parent that wrote it b/c only a bereaved parent knows YOUR PAIN.....

My candle is lit for you today and my prayers ascend to Heaven on your behalf.

Love and Warm, Tender Hugs,
Angela xoxo

Hello dear Shane,

Sorry to be so late getting here. I know you know just how difficult this day is for your beloved mom, dad, and brother. I am sure by now, you have read her post, and the oh so touching poem that she submitted earlier today. They brought tears to my eyes, and made my heart skip a beat, because I can relate oh so well to the sadness that this special day hold for your mom as well as the rest of your family. I know that you and our Lord and Savior will surround her with peace of mind and unconditional love throughout this day, and in the days, months, and years ahead.

Much love & angel hugs,

Miss V.
Diane’s Mom
8/16/60 - 8/31/96

Hello dear Krissy,

I remember you and Shane share the same heavenly date. I know you know how very special your mom is to all angel moms here. We still love her unique “Soar with the Angels” email tag. We know she still comes here to read as often as her busy schedule permits. Please know that your mom & family are covered in our heartfelt prayers. I know you and our heavenly Father sent your mom, dad, and Sheena lots of heavenly love and hugs throughout this your special day. Continue to “Soar with the Angels, Krissy!”

Much love & angel hugs,

Miss V.
Diane’s Mom
8/16/60 - 8/31/96

Hi dear Sean Michael and beautiful Solange,

We know that both of you have been surrounding your beloved moms throughout this very, very difficult day of the month, God love them. It's a double whammy [day of the month]for our dear Marci. :( Please continue to send your beloved moms’ signs to let them know that you are alive and well and that our heavenly Father is taking very good care of you and all our angel kids and family members until we get there. May God continue to heal all angel moms and angel dads “shattered” hearts as we go through our special days, and continue on our journey home! What a heavenly reunion that will be! To God be the glory!

Much love & angel hugs,

Miss V.
Diane’s Mom
8/16/60 - 8/31/96

Hi dear Angela, ~ It warms my heart to see a post from you! I continue to pray for you daily. I am sure by now you've heard I'm recovering from open heart surgery. I know you will keep me in your prayers. :) I no longer have AOL [I hope] haha! The last time I checked I had over 500 emails; mostly junk I'm sure. Hopefully, my daughter has had success in closing that account and also my paid account with MSN. I'll know once I've checked my bill payer account. For now, my new email address is: rae52441@hotmail.com.

Much love & prayers,

Verna

Dearest Sandy,
I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face... How appropriate your poem is for all grieving parents. I know I dream of the day when I can see my son Sean’s beautiful smile again. May God be with you today and always.

Miss V! So good to see you post! I have always look forward to your ramblers! Thank you for your acknowledgement of our grief and pain. Sean-Michael was born on the 15th of July, 1985 and put to rest on the 15th of August, 2003. It has been a long 2 1/2 years

Mi hermana, Selva, thank you for your love. I hope Solange and Sean-Michael dance for us someday.

To all other Angelmoms, a brief introduction…

This circle has lifted me from the pit of despair and irrepressible grief. From my first posting full of shock and disbelief at the loss of my most Godly son Sean-Michael at the age of eighteen on August 9th, 2003 (page 193), the loss of my sister ( age 49) the loss of my father on my beloved son’s birthday to the loss of my beloved mother-in law this past Saturday. My posts have been met with heartfelt compassion and loving support.

I have passed through the hardest trials of my life. No one could ever hurt me more. God tells us to Fear no man. Nothing could be worse than never seeing our loved ones again.

With much love to all,
Marci~.~

Hi to Everyone: WOW!!!! Sure are some tear at the heartstrings poems, postings and cries for help. That's what we're all here for and the fluid writings that touch each of us shows that. CHARLENE:I went to Dale & Dalins' grave everyday for years too. The one night I had a heavenly visit from them, with Gods' help. One sat on each side of me and told me that only their bodies wrere there and I needed to quit going before it drove me crazy. They told me they were together and spending Dad & Daughter time and lovin it. They told me they're always closeby and will be there when I need them(and they are). They told me to have a memorial section at our house to honor them, not make people sad, and to plant flowers and trees. That made sense and now I celebrate our love instead of being sad and morbid to friends. Some of my real friends told me that it made them sad to see me, but they didn't know how to help. Now, they even bring me flowers and of course I have lots & lots of angels of every shape and size. When I see all that, I know how many people and the difference they made on so many peoples lives. There's no set time to visit the grave, cry, grievev, not go to family reunionsor gatherings, or even be around others who loved them. Most people do understand, but we feel not only our pain, but theirs. They all love us to and it just takes time. Some family, places, or things are harder to face, and we just need to give time to get through all those things. IN THE MEANTIME, YOU HAVE ALL OF US-WHO USUALLY UNDERSTAND BETTER, AND SHARE YOUR UPS & DOWNS LIKE NO ONE ELSE CAN BUT GOD & JESUS. That's why we have ANGELS to guide us.DONNA: I don't know if it's easier for a fire, or the toss out since I've had both happen between my Dalin and my parents. I think deep down that the pain is the same ending. It's those of us left here on earth that need to hold on to the material things until we want to let go and when it's done by other than our choice, we have a diffent hurt(with a wee bit of anger thrown in) that we again have no control over. That's what really gets us, the fact that we can't control our lives the way we want. I was A-Z moods i.e.,angry,lost, hurt, hope you get that part I went to shrinks, group theraphies, compassionate friends, and anything I thought could help. I had overlooked the most important and only true answer that could help. I believed in God & Jesus, but that pain I couldn't get through until I realized that the pain I felt In the loss of Dalinwas so enormis to bear and how could I go on? Then I realized how much God loved us to willingly give up His Child, knowing that pain, and then for Jesus to suffer the pain He did for us and so many generations, I truly understood and a huge burden was lifted. I still grieve, but the total love felt by all the angels in Heaven (and those walking here on earth) and God & Jesus humbeled me and made me live again. I can thank so many, but God started by sending Jesus, who sends angels. We have to believe in that or we'll go crazy. I also found the right Church and Pastor(PLEASE CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR PASTOR TOM TEALL), and I found this site,so look at all the miracles, and feel more blessed. EVERYONE, we each have that day that is the day we "lost" our kids, but God & Jesus knew where they were and gabbed em and took them to Heaven where there's no sadness, no sorrow, no evil and is keeping them untils it's time for us to meet again. Don't we have a wonderful God? I'm sorry I got carried away(not really-these words will touch someone and help),but the force was with me on this one Love & Prayers to All suangels2

Thank you ALL for your love and support!! Sueangels2--it helps to know someone is listening and answering. Donna--thanks for all the emails,etc. Miss V.--get well!! In other words, don't overdo, rest up so you can come back stronger than ever! From all the postings, I understand that you and Sandy are the backbone of this circle; we need you. Selva--haven't heard from you lately; you're probably chin-deep in taxes right now. Love you!
There hasn't been anyone who has given me bad advice so far, so I trust all of you to help all of us through this together. Is there anything too difficult for God? Who would have thought that so many different women, scattered across the globe, would some day meet together like this? Only God can cause something bad (the loss of our children and grandchildren) to turn into something good (us getting together)!
God bless you all and keep you and your families safe today; comfort you and give you peace that passes all understanding (as He's done for me since I've met you all). In Jesus lovely name we pray. Amen
Grandma Charlene
Baby boy: 2-25-89 (adopted 3-89)
Michael: 3-27-89 (stillborn)
Casey Marie: 1-7-92 to 12-1-04
Carey Grace: 3-18-94 to 12-1-04
http://www.mylovelygarden.com/sisterscareyandcasey.html

Hi our dear Ang! Gosh, what a nice surprise to see a post from you! Thank you so much dear one for your prayers, love & hugs. Isn't that poem something? Yes, it was written by another bereaved Mom and I forgot to put her name at the bottom - Fran Morgan, God bless her. Who better to know our pain than Mary, the mother of Our Lord. I read it about a month ago and saved it for Shane's Anniversary.
Much love & Tender Hugs to you our dear Ang,
Sandy
xoxoxo

Hi our dear Charlene,
I love some of the Psalms too, some of the best poetry in the world can be found in them, as well as prayers and words of comfort. The one you quoted is a very comforting one, thank you dear one, another favorite Scripture that I love is "Come to me, all you who are weary......".
I know your precious grandaughter's Birthday is tomorrow and my love and prayers are with you and the family,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Our dear Miss V, thanks too for your Post, I'm more thrilled to see you posting again!! You're prayed for daily by all and slowly but surely you'll get your strength back - I'm believing in a full recovery for you. Love you and miss you, but I'm still holding you to the promise of a BIG rambler here!
Lots of love, prayers & Tender Hugs,
Sandy