Prayer Circles

Holding On

During moments when we can’t express
This awful pain we feel inside
Somehow we seem to understand
Within God’s love we will abide

During times when anger grief and loss
Seems to take our breath away
Somehow we feel within our souls
There will be a brighter day

We know that faith hope and love
Gives us peace and the strength to endure
We also know our Father’s love
Is unconditional eternal and pure

And though as mortals still here on earth
We cannot fully understand
We hold onto faith hope and love
And God’s unchanging hand

Verna R. Clay
All Rights Reserved
12/31/2005

I offer up prayer for all moms and dads in this place where death of a child has robbed them of gift of that child. We just made it through the anniversary of our deceased son's 18th birthday. It is still incredible: an incredible life and even more incredible departure from this life with us. Somehow I know he is alive with our Lord and if I can be patient I will meet him, so to speak, all in good time. And that he will be laughing with me again and the suffering of missing him will be as fully gone in that instant as if it had never been here, because I will be sharing fully that different health and joy that he is permanently serving God, now. Thanks to our Lord that this site was recently renewed on a page I opened on the web and I can re -visit some of the healing that has been of some comfort. I sound bitter, I think, and I hope that my Hope also comes through, as we try to encourage each other as the believers have always been known to do. Please pray for us in the living out without our son John Davis Reineking. Another year with many blessings is our family's wish to all. Love, Pat R.

Hi my dear sister Suangels2. Thanks for your prayers and good wishes. So glad you snet your balloons to Dalin and Dale, I am sure they are holding it in their arms and showing it to all the Angel kids. All the angel kids and dads were having a ball last night, with Jesus, they all felt our prayers and love and they sent their blessings to us too. May god give you Strenght to continue until the big reunion. Thanks for sharing the song, I will get it ASAP. Love my dear sister. Selva

My dear sister Jenn. It is great to hear from you again, we were s little worried because we didn't hear from you in a while. So glad you have your computer fixed, and you are taking your meds and feeling good, don't worry too much about the imsomnia, the sleep will come back soon and you will be able to have a good night sleep. Wishing you Peace, Love and Strenght for the New Years. Love Selva

My dear Ms V. Thanks so much for those beautiful poems, they really touched my heart, I know the Holy Spirit inspired you to share it with us. I wish you Peace and Strenght for this New Year, I think if we have that, we can continue to live until God decides, and then, The Reunion, that will be our gift from God. Love you very much my dear sister. Selva

Hi PatR. Welcome to our Circle of Love. I am so glad you found this site and please visit us as much as you want. This is a very safe Heaven for us moms and dads who have lost a child, there is no judgement here, just love, prayers and understanding. We all know about that horrible pain, the anger, the despair, we all are suffering the same pain. Of course we will pray for you and your family and specially for John Davis, he is in fine company my dear sister, Jesus is taking care of all our Angel kids until He decides that is our time to go and be reunited again and this time Forever, that is His promise to all of us.Wishing you peace and Strength for this New Year. Love and prayers.
Selva
Mom of Solange
12/7/81 - 8/15/02

Dear blessed Selva, I 'm new in this circle, but you have been and are a blessing. I'm trying to read all the messages from your start, but the grief gets harder and I have to stop, but it also helps me through some days of unbearable grief. I know my Angels and Our Father guided me to the web site to find you at this time of the year. I'm finally able to cope with so much I didn't understand before and couldn't or wouldn't accept. This is the first Christmas I could actually not be so full of depression because Dale&Dalin weren't here with me. I know that's not only because of our being Born Again, but also the commaraderie of all the shared love and understanding. I THANK YOU for staying so active and strong with this sight and allowing all of us to meet. All the poems, songs, ideas, testimonials are PRICELESS. WE truly are a special Circle with God and countless ANGELS watching over each of us alone, but think of the volumne we have together. This is my best CHRISTmas and NeEW Year in a long time. Thanks to you especially, but for what you emit to all of us. If you noticed, I put a heart on this time because you have a special one and I appreciate you. suangels2

Hi my dear Suangels2.We are in this pain together, but also you will find many many dear Angel Moms in this Circle of Love which also understand th pain, yes that horrible pain. Our dear Angel in Chief as we call her, Sandy, who created this safe Heaven for us, is working today, but she will post to you tomorrow. In the meantime my dear sister I will share a little with you. I lost my only child Solange 20 years old Aug 15, 2002, she would have been 21 in Dec 7th, it was due to a car accident, she felt sleep (no alchool involved) only about 9 blocks from reaching our home, yes it is hard to take, it has been only 40 months ago. But I am sure that Solange is with Jesus and our Lord, and I am also sure that when my time comes (and I really thoughed about taking my own life in afew times) I came to realized that it was not the right thing to do, I have to wait until God decides that it is my turn, and I still have my own mission here on Earth, so I decided to wait it out and just ask for strenght, and then The reunion, my dear sister, we will be with our child again and this time forever. Keeep hangin in there . It is Gods promise. Please keeep on posting here, I am sure that you will have the understanding, prayers and love, and like I always say, God owe us. so our prayers really get to Him. Love Selva

Good morning to everyone, Wishing each of you a wounderful New Year and praying that God will richly bless you this year. I'd like to welcome all our new Angel moms and dads. Hope our circle of love helps to bring you some kind of comfort. This truly a place you can come and release all your pain and grief and noi one will judge you, only try to bring you comfort in knowing all of us here know the real pain we carry in our hearts. It is so sad we should all meet this way but I feel GOD has lead us all here for a reason.You will find loveing, careing, and understanding friends here who will always be here for you no matter what. Please feel free to come back and post as much as you want.

Hi Miss V, Thanks so much for the poems. As with Selva they really touched my heart. I had to reread them over again . Your poems help so many of us and we can relate to them in so many ways.You are truly a blessing to all of us here. Hope you had a wounderful Christmas and New Years.

Hi Selva, Hope things are going well for you. I hope you made it through Christmas ok. I did'nt do to bad, thanks to being on my meds again.I don't believe I will be stopping them anytime soon. Anytway if I did and our Sandy found out about I believe she would come to North Carolina and get me good.Anyway, I hope you are doing fine and Hope God blesses you in the new year.

All my Love and Butterfly Hugs,
Jennifer

Hello dear AngelMoms and Dads! A special Hello and warm welcome to the new Moms who have posted.
I hope you all had a gentle New Year's Eve and day, the Holidays, which are so painful for us are now over for another year and we can exhale, getting back on our own Journey of Grief, but suporting and loving each other as we do so.
Our dear sister and dear Miss V, what touching poems you've both posted, I love them all, they give hope and inspiration and I thank you both for that!
Hi dear Jenn, pray you and your dear family had a nice Christmas and I'm SO happy to read that you're feeling better, that's the best gift of all, :-). God is good, all the time, all the time, God is good!
Oh, you betcha, I can be in N. Carolina by the end of the day, *wink* and be watching you like a hawk, :-). But I don't think I'll have to, I can tell from your Post that you're sounding better!
Yes, I had to work this weekend, but I didn't mind, we spent it very quietly anyway, watched the Ball drop and then went to bed.
Please, new AngelMoms, keep posting, you never know how much your own sharings can help another or how another's sharing can help you,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy
Mom of Shane
May 28/74 - March 15, 1999

Hello everyone in this prayer section. I am constantly praying for all children and those who have lost their own. Knowing that God has a plan for everyone, We are still human and he gave us emotions. We Learn from your emotions and we MUST go on, as our loved one's wouldn't have it no other way. I Almost, lost my son to death of Heart Murmers. He was 13 and had an operation, he is now 25 and a youth Pastor for the Lord. Please keep him in your prayers. Everything in life happens for a reason as my Dad reminded me: the song, "We'll understand it better by & by". I have been blessed with the 2 children I have and I promised God to always take care of them. they are now age 19 & 25 a girl & Boy. With all the plans God has for our lives, he takes care of our needs first. I thank Yu Jesus for all that you do for us and I pray for those in sorrow from the loss of a loved one that you god, strenthen them and heal their hearts. For with you Lord, NOTHING is impossible. In your precious & loving name I pray, AMEN..

Hi everyone. I'm really having a hard time. Dale died 9 years ago today and I know that Dalin and him are together,but I miss them. It hurts so bad. Do any of you take meds, or took meds? How long did it take to talk Doc into letting you off and how did you do it? I think I'm o.k., then I hit bottom like today. It still hurts so bad even though I know where they are and I'll be with them. I had a resident today that was so depressed and crying and I tried to listen, hug and talk, but I don't know if I was good enough? How do we know if we are strong enough to help? I know my job on earth isn't done and God won't let me retire home till He's ready for me, but how do we really know what we're supposed to do really? Thanks for the prayers cause I feel more strength in my prayers now. It's just theses 3 months are harder for me. Thanks for listening and God bless us all. suangels2

Hello dear Marsha, thank you so much for posting here and praying for us all, we can surely use them and we appreciate it so much when someone who hasn't experienced this loss take's the time to do so. May God bless you and your family in whatever way He know's you need,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi dear suangels, oh God love you, today is the Anniversary of your husband's passing, these 'special days' are so hard on us, no wonder you're feeling so down today and having a hard time! Of course it hurt's so bad, especially today when memories come flooding back to you. Yes, you have the consolation of knowing your Dale is with your Dalin and one day when it's your time, you'll be there with them, this time for eternity! I'm sure you did just fine with the resident, we get very good at wearing our 'masks' when we have to.
Yes, some of us do take medication, if you're feeling very depressed, please talk to your Dr. about it, some of us only need it to get over the hump so to speak, and other's need it for longer periods, there's no shame in reaching out for help, this is the most painful experience that a Mom or Dad can go through, as you know.
Yes, God still has a plan for you, just give your will over to Him, trust in Him and everyday His will and plan for you is being done!
That's wonderful to know, that our prayers are helping you, always remember that we're here for you, on good and bad days, such as today for you, sweetie, our love, support and prayers go out to you on the wings of an Angel,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi our dear sister Sueangels2. I'm so sorry that you are going through Valley days,of course you still miss Dale and special days are very hard on us.I am sure you did a great job helping the resident, sometimes that is all we need, a hug and someone to listen. As far as taking meds, I am still taking it, and I am still going to the pshyco and I Thank God for that, otherwise i don't think I could have survive this horrible pain. This is no ordinary pain as you know, this is the most horrendous pain anyone can endure, and we need all the help we can get. Besides love and prayers i still need my meds, yes prayers work wonders, but we are only humans, and some of us need an extra help, like me. Just remember we are all here for you me dear sister. My love and prayers. Selva

I have some major problems and discomforts of my own going on right now. But the loss of a child is one thing I've never had to suffer. I probably could never know your pain. I don't know if I could even find the strenth to live on without my children.
Dear Lord,
I pray that you will wrap your arms around all of these people who have lost a child. I could never understand why these people have to feel this kind of loss or pain. It isn't meant for me to understand. I don't even know the right words right now for this. Lord just please give them comfort, Be with them, carry them if you have to. Lord you know what my heart feels for them, even if I don't know the right words. Lord, give them strength. In Jesus name I pray.
Amen-

Hello All, ~ I just finished losing one of my long ramblers! I had tried to respond to all posts since I was here last, but end up losing it all when I tried to do a copy/paste spell check in MS Works. Nevertheless, I will not allow the evil one to steal my joy! J It feels good to be back and posting again. Even when you don’t see a daily post, I still pray for all who have lost a beloved child or other loved one.

It warmed my heart to see a couple of posts from angel dads. J It’s so seldom we hear from angel dads; though we know they are hurting too. Perhaps more will join us as time goes by. I join the other angel moms in a warm welcome to you; and I too am so very sorry to read of your loss. To our new angel moms, I am sorry to read of your loss as well. Please know that all angel moms/dads are covered in my heartfelt prayers.

I pray also that God will bless those who support us, and take the time to post prayers or words of compassion, understanding and inspiration.

Angel moms, if I have your email address and did things right earlier tonight, you should have received an email explaining my absence. I was feeling some better earlier tonight so spent time typing one of my ramblers; but as I’ve said, I ended up losing it. Since it’s a lot later now, and my fingers are getting tired, please accept this as an abbreviated V. Clay’s Rambler! J

Rambler or not, you’re all in my thoughts, which places you in my heartfelt prayers!

God’s peace & blessings,

Verna
Diane's Mom
8/16/60-8/31/96
Forever In Our Hearts

vclay100@msn.com
http://www.thespearofstrength.com

Oh, by the way, I now see that the smiley faces I inserted in my post above turns into a "J" Haha! Still learning! :)

strohm_angel ~ I just read your heartfelt and oh so touching words! I can tell your words of compassion come from the heart. I pray that God will help you with your major problems and discomforts; and in any other way that he knows you need. Thanks again for your kind words and heartfelt prayer and for taking the time to post them here.

God's peace and blessings,

Verna

Dear Pat, ~ Just a note to say how very sorry I am to read of the loss of your beloved son, John R. I am sure he is in the company of all our angels including my brother, Charles, whose birthday is also Dec. 18th. My brother was much older and in a lot of pain shortly before he left this world on July 1, 2001; just one year after we lost our dear mother. No, you don't sound bitter. You sound like an angel mom who is grieving the loss of her beloved son. Remember, whatever you are feeling it is OK to express it here. Sometimes it helps just getting some of the pain out. Special days are so very, very difficult to get through. Other days are too, but the special days just seem to take a lot more out of us. I pray that God will continue to strengthen you and hubby and give you the peace that only he can provide.

Love & angel hugs,

Verna

Hello Suangels2 and a warm welcome to our circle of love, support, understanding and prayers. I, too, am very sorry to read of your double loss. My hubby and I lost the eldest of our two beloved daughters Aug. 31, 1996. Come Aug. 31, 2006, we will have been on our grief journey for ten years. Still, not a day goes by that we don’t miss our Diane. You, on the other hand, have lost both your beloved child and husband. I can only imagine the magnitude of your grief; especially on the anniversary of your beloved husband, Dale. Special days are always difficult to get through. Were it not for my faith, and the prayers of others whom I know can and do relate to such unique grief, I doubt I would still be here. Even through I have with God’s help, learned to live with the quiet sadness, I still have days, nights, when I feel such sadness, and wonder why God allows bad things to happen; not just to me or my daughter, or my family members; but I also wonder why bad things happen to anyone. No doubt, I always will. But there is one thing in particular that keeps me going: My desire and determination to reach out to others whom I know are living with the worst kind of pain they will ever know while here on earth.

In your post, you asked about meds. To this day, I still take meds for depression. I didn’t know to do so in the beginning stages; because I didn’t know how important it was to do so. I almost left this world trying to be strong. Talk to your doctor; it may be that you need a change in medication or in the strength. I’ve learned the hard way that it is not good to take yourself off of meds; so if you are thinking of doing so, please talk to your doctor first.

Don’t worry about whether or not you were good enough to help the resident. God knows your heart. The fact that you were there for this person helped. As for knowing what to do; don’t worry about that either. Right now, you need to listen to your heart. God will lead you gradually into doing little things that are important as it relates to his will in your life and in the lives of others. My guess is you are already doing many of the things that are pleasing to God on a daily basis. Take your time, give yourself time to work through your own grief; and trust God to lead you in the direction of fulfilling the ultimate purpose he has for you in this life. Sometimes, it’s the little seemingly unimportant things that we do that make all the difference in the world.

Remember, in addition to our prayers, your two guardian angels, Dale & Dalin, are also praying that God will give you the strength and courage to press on, until your work here is finished.

Love & angel hugs,

Verna

Hey San, :) These old hands have given out for tonight, but I'll try to play catch up sometime tomorrow if the hands allow. :) My dear sisters Selva and Jennifer, your love and compassion always shines brightly. It seems that God always provide our needs as we press on. Phyllis, think I have recovered your email address so respond if you get a note from me. :) And remember to take your meds! :) Cin, Lisa, Sue, Marci, Kaye, Donna, Yvonne, Barb, Eva/Ron, [(Debby)... we know your hand are full with those precious twins]:)and all other angel moms/dads [old & new]... It's time to check in for the New Year and let us know how Y'all are doing! :) We keep you all in our heartfelt prayers! There is power in prayer!

Love & prayers to all,

Verna

Whoops! It seems I've taken us to a new page. So, everyone, click back to page 304 so Ya won't miss all the latest posts!:)

Love & prayers,
Verna

Sharing a poem I rec'd in an email from angel mom Sue. :) It spoke volumes to me, and I hope it will inspire you too! :)

START OVER

When you've trusted God and walked his way
When you've felt his hand lead you day by day
But your steps now take you another way ...
Start over.

When you've made your plans and they've gone awry
When you've tried your best and there's no more try
When you've failed yourself and you don't know why ...
Start over.

When you've told your friends what you plan to do
When you've trusted them and they didn't come through
And you're all alone and it's up to you ...
Start over.

When you've failed your kids and they're grown and gone
When you've done your best but it's turned out wrong
And now your grandchildren come along ...
Start over.

When you've prayed to God so you'll know his will
When you've prayed and prayed and you don't know still ...
When you want to stop cause you've had your fill ...
Start over.

When you think you're finished and want to quit
When you've bottomed out in life's deepest pit
When you've tried and tried to get out of it ...
Start over.

When the year has been long and successes few
When December comes and you're feeling blue
God gives a January just for you ...
Start over.

Starting over means "Victories Won"
Starting over means "A Race Well Run"
Starting over means "God's Will Done"
Don't just sit there ..............

START OVER

by Woodrow Kroll of "Back to the Bible"

Hi V(LOVEU@), Thank you for your prayers and words of hop. I have been on mrds since Dalins' death and do see my Doc. I just have people who say get on with your life, oe get over it. They don't know our pain to say those things and it hurts. Drives me crazy sometimes. I do pray alot more and even listen to God more. I feel he leads me on the right path, if I have the faith and courage to stay on it. I also know it was Him and my Angels who led me here. At least I can talk and say their names and not get judged for a "time frame of grief." Someone in the circle seems to know the right words of encouragement to say at the right. I hope I can help someone the way you have helped me. A lot of us don't understand Dads' grief, but I wathched my Dale shrivel up and let go after Dalin died. He bought her the truck she was driving out of love and had regrets and what ifs. He was too strong for pills and Docs, but in the long run he wasn"t. I would advise all tough Dads who read this to seek help. You may not have carried the child, but your heart was as full of love as we Moms. My loss was and still is monumental, but with Gods' help, I make it through each day to fulfill my journey. Iknow He helps and cares because of the people and miracles He has bestowed on me. My life will never be the same, but I wouldn't have missed "The Dance" for anything. Thank you Jesus and all of you for allowing me to express myself and take up space. Love and prayers to all of us always and all ways. Also new found positive inner strenght to flow outside so we may help others. We are family through God and though we may never meet, our souls and lives innertwine to form a stronger circle of endless love and support. Thanks one and all.Su