Prayer Circles

Hi our dear sister Eudora, it is so great to hear from you, yes the Holidays really takes a toll in all of us, I am sure that Carol is together with all of our Angel kids, they are all friends by now and they keep trying to makes us feel better, but I also know that they understand how much we miss them, after all , we are only humans, but we will get there when God dicides it, and then, THE REUNION, my dear sister, that is our reward. Please come to the Circle of Love whenever you need it, we will be always here for you. Love Selva

Hello Barb :) Gosh, it is so good to see a post from you! I Thought about you this morning when I was posting the poem above. I remembered I had done one for your beloved Carol a while back. Oh, I know Barb; the holidays are always hard, and yes, our children and our Lord understand that we can't help feeling the sadness; even after it has settled in a bit. But thank God, the pain is not so intense as it was in the very beginning! I truly admire your courage, and I am grateful to God that you are still pressing on as a tribute to your beloved Carol. I know that she and our other angel kids are very proud of us. Yes,they want us to be happy, but they do understand that the things that brings us joy now are uniquely different from what they were before. And as you know, that is really ok. The most important thing I believe is that we embrace our fond memories as often as possible, and thank God for whatever time we had our children in our lives; even if only for a moment in time! God chose each of us to fulfill that roll in this life, and that was no accident. The real joy will come when our work on earth is through. There is no joy to compare to the joy we will someday know when we embrace our childred in heaven someday. Until that day comes, we will press on together, with God's help.

No, I have not received an email from you yet. It may be because I don't have your email address in y address book. I will be sure to check the unknown senders file and hopefully recognize the one from you. God bless you, Barb, and thanks for your kind words, and also for signing the Guest Book at thespearofstrength. :)

Much love, & angel hugs,
Verna

Hello dear amdillon, thank you for your kind words and prayers, we can all certainly use them, especially at this time of the year. I'm sorry you lost your twins, God love you, they'll forever be in your heart. I'm so happy you've been blessed with another child, our love and prayers are with you too,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hello dure Pure30, I'm so sorry too that you've suffered the ultimate of losses, that of your precious Carlito Ray, your beloved son. We all belong to an exclusive Club that we never wanted membership in, but there is strength in numbers and you will find here that we support, help each other, for grief in indeed a jagged and difficult Journey. I lost my precious son Shane 6 years ago, but everyday he is on my mind and my heart. In time, plenty of it and at your own pace, you won't experience the gawdaful 24/7 pain and it will slowly start to get better.
Yes, lean on Our Lord, for his "yoke is easy and His burden light" and He will help you in every way. God's blessings to you and please post here anytime,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hello justbfree, I'm so sorry that you also lost a beloved child, your Jeremy.
We all know oh so well what these past month's have been like for you, God love you. And now your 1st Christmas without Jeremy. My 1st Christmas without my Shane, I just couldn't celebrate it nor did I want to. I spent most of the day crying, wishing so badly that he would walk through the door. It's going to be painful for you, actually I can feel your pain in your post. Know that all of us will be praying for you and every other Mom who has lost their child too soon. Please post here anytime, if you're having a bad day on Christmas, there will be someone here to try and help you. In the meantime be gentle with yourself, grieving take's a lot out of you,
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi all my dear Angel sisters. I just got this poem from a dear friend who knows what I am going through, and I wanted to share it with you all. it is called CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN
I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below,
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear,
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year!
I hear the many Christmas songs, that people hold so dear.
But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy
their voices bring,
For it's beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, loved ones, you know I hold you dear,
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year!
I send you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, Love is a gift, more precious than pure gold.
It was most important in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other as our Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessings or love He has for you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away the tear,
Remember, I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year!

Hello Dearest Mothers ( & Fathers), Merry Christmas. I have not posted in a very long while (unfortunatley), as I read many of the posts I regret not continuing what I started this spring after my baby boy James passed away at 4 1/2 months of age. My heart has been torn to peices, but I continue to ry to be the best person I can be. He was with me last Christmas, I was sooooo fortunate (and still am). But this Christmas is already so painful, it is so hard to feel happy or excited about anything. My little Angel, my heart aches for you, my arms long to hold you, please know how much I love you & how much I will never forget you. Everyday I live is one day closer to spending eternity with you. Merry Christmas my little James, you are forever in my heart (Love Mommy).
All grieving parents, you are in my prayers.
Love, Shelley

As we approach Christmas Day, and on the Eve of that special birthday, I would like to extend my warmest and sincerest greetings to all bereaved parents at this most sad time of year.
My son Dean died 7 years ago on December 18th and his funeral was Christmas Eve. I don't much enjoy Christmas for myself, but I love to see the faces of the little ones now, with their wide eyes and their complete love and joy.
I miss my Dean so much and not a day goes by I don't think of him, and long to feel him in my arms. He had just turned 18 and so much of who he would be is lost. He would have been 25 this November 24th just gone.
Anyway, may your Gods bless and keep you all, and may the Angels hold you close on this Christmas Day, knowing that our sons and the Son of God, share the realms of the infinite that awaits us all following our Earthly life.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all, and special love and hugs to those approaching their first Christmas as a bereaved parent. My heart aches for you.
Namaste, Shauna xxx

My deepest apologies, I meant to say 'sons and daughters'.
God Bless you all,
Namaste, Shauna xxx

Hello our Barb, yes, it's wonderful to see a Post from you! Someone asked me once if I wonder about the Moms who post here for a while and then slowly drop away, and I answered YES, I wonder how they're doing, what are their live's like now, so it warm's my heart to know that you haven't left, you're still reading here and still very much a part of this Circle of Love, :-). I know, the most difficult times for me as well are the Holidays, the week's leading up to Christmas until the New Year. I just broke down into tears this morning, although I know our children are experiencing so much joy, love and peace.
A very gentle Merry Christmas to you Barb, so good to hear from you,
Love, Prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi dear Shelley, this Circle of Love is open all the time, so welcome back and please post here anytime.
I know sweetie, this is such a hard time for all of us, you're among good company here, we all know the heartache and emptiness that you're feeling right now. This is your 1st Christmas without your beloved James with you and we know that painful that is, God love you. Our love and prayers are with you, and yes, one day you WILL see your beautiful James again,
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hello dear Shauna and welcome to the Circle, albeit under a painful time as well for you. I'm so sorry to read about your loss as well, your precious son Dean, my heart goes out to you, having to bury him on Christmas Eve, little wonder you don't much care for Christmas. The longing and missing our children never really goes away, we in time, learn how to live with it and try to carry on, making our child proud of us. Love never dies, it's Eternal and the only real emotion that matter's - it keep's us connected to our child in a spiritual way I believe. In you own pain, you took the time to post here and that's says so much about you, :-).
The very same wishes to you dear one and please post here anytime, this Circle is here anytime you need it, as well as our love and prayers,
Namaste, Sandy.

Beautiful poems, my dear sister and Miss V, thanks so much for posting them,
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Merry Christmas to all of you. I am really having a hard time, down in the valley time. I just can`t believe they are really gone.I keep hearing my phone ringing and of course nobody is there.My Husband and I are staying home this year. We bought a turkey last night infact we bought the whole dinner already cooked.Our first Christmas witout our precious Daughter, Rhonda.We never had Christmas dinner s with our Nikki.Their death`s are so different cause Nikki wasn`t really ours, she always went to her Family for Christmas Day.I have been so depressed today ( it`s still Christmas Eve here.I feel so selfish like I`m the only one who lost a child when I know I`m not.I just can`t get into Christmas this year.I pray my Rhonda is really happy in Heaven, she wasn`t happy here on earth. I would single you all out and wish you a Merry Christmas but I just can`t do it. I may be on here again tomorrow. My Husband fixed Salmon for dinner but I couldn`t eat it. I called my boys tonight. They are sounding good. God Bless you ALL.
Phyllis

We lost our only child Kristen 8 years ago on December 18th. She was 19 years old and traveling home for Christmas. This is the first year since that we put up any Christmas decorations. My wife had been dead set against it every other year and late in November she asked me about getting a tree. We bought a small fiber optic tree instead of the huge Frazier firs that we used to get and we put up our inside decorations. They had been in the attic for 8 years. We used to go all out with the decorations, but I turned them off the evening we received word that she had been killed. People were coming to a grieving house and it was totally unappropriate to have the festive lights shining.

I am glad to have something going for the Christmas holiday again, but Kristen's place will always be empty. I miss her every day in ways that only other grieving parents will ever know. I hope the rest of you never understand what we go through. I have known from the very beginning that she is with the Lord and take great comfort in that, but I sure miss her. The only positive thing that I can see from this, is that we who have lost a child seem to be the only ones that truly comfort others in the same situation. It was true for us when Kristen died and has been true for others when they lost their loved ones. Our Sunday school teacher and his wife have lost two children and they were an immense help in the early days after Kristen died and have been every since.

Even though Krsiten's death took the fun out of Christmas, the true celebration of the Saviour's birth has become more real to us. Much of the glitz and man-made glamour have been stripped away and Christ has become the main focus of the season for us.

We lost our only child Kristen 8 years ago on December 18th. She was 19 years old and traveling home for Christmas. This is the first year since that we put up any Christmas decorations. My wife had been dead set against it every other year and late in November she asked me about getting a tree. We bought a small fiber optic tree instead of the huge Frazier firs that we used to get and we put up our inside decorations. They had been in the attic for 8 years. We used to go all out with the decorations, but I turned them off the evening we received word that she had been killed. People were coming to a grieving house and it was totally unappropriate to have the festive lights shining.

I am glad to have something going for the Christmas holiday again, but Kristen's place will always be empty. I miss her every day in ways that only other grieving parents will ever know. I hope the rest of you never understand what we go through. I have known from the very beginning that she is with the Lord and take great comfort in that, but I sure miss her. The only positive thing that I can see from this, is that we who have lost a child seem to be the only ones that truly comfort others in the same situation. It was true for us when Kristen died and has been true for others when they lost their loved ones. Our Sunday school teacher and his wife have lost two children and they were an immense help in the early days after Kristen died and have been every since.

Even though Kristen's death took the fun out of Christmas, the true celebration of the Saviour's birth has become more real to us. Much of the glitz and man-made glamour have been stripped away and Christ has become the main focus of the season for us.

For those who want to see, I have included a picture of my precious Marcus in the memorials. It's under Dickens, Marcus. The picture was taken 2 days prior to his Angel date.
I hope everyone is enjoying their CHRISTmas, at least the best that they can. My prayers go out to all and anyone who has ever lost a child.
LOVE, HUGS, AND KISSES to ALL!!!
Merry CHRISTmas!!!!!!

Hi dear Phyllis, you know you're in good company here, most of us are feeling very sad, depressed. This is your 1st Christmas without your Rhonda so it's going to be very hard to deal with it, let the tears come, don't hold them in, lean heavily on God and know that our love and prayers are with you,
May God bless you dear one,
Love Sandy

Hello Hawkeye, a warm welcome to the Circle. I'm so very sorry you lost a child too, your beloved Kristen, your only child. Oh my gosh, she was coming home for Christmas and instead you received that dreaded phone call that no parent ever want's to get.
I fully understand your wife's feeling's all these years, we only put up a tree, decorations, when our older son come's home for Christmas, if he's travelling as he is this year, we only have a 2ft. table-top tree. Our focus has shifted from all the secular hoopla to celebrating the Birth of Our Lord. It's been 6 yrs. for us, perhap's one day we'll be more comfortable with it.
I'm very happy for you and your wife though that this year you have a Christmas tree up, decorations, your dear wife is slowly gaining more ground on the Journey of Grief, :-).
You'll always be conscious of that empty chair, something we do to help is light a special Candle at the table to honor our Shane, so in a small way it help's to fill that empty chair.
I know what you mean, Dad, I don't think time matter's very much when you've lost a child, they're forever in our heart, our thoughts and the longing to see them physically again still hits us at moments. Our lives as we once knew them are forever changed, it doesn't mean that we don't laugh, smile, wonder at a sunset, just in a different way now. Yes, only another parent who has suffered this ultimate of losses can ever fully understand what we go through, I'm sorry about your Sunday School Teacher and their losses, but they must have been so supportive and understanding, having gone through it twice themselves, God love them.
It's really nice to hear from a Dad, we don't get very many posting, and by sharing your own loss here, who know's how many it will help!
Please post here anytime, we offer support, understanding, love, prayers and never any judging, this is a safe haven for anyone who's lost a child.
I wish you and your wife a gentle Christmas and my prayers are with you both,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi all our Sisters and Brothers. So sorry we have to meet this way, but you have found a Heaven of Rest in our Circle of Love. We have all lost our child, in my case, my only child Aug 15th 2002, we are all here in our own grief, but please understand, that no one will understand and feel your pain as we do, this is a unique pain, very complicated one and a very lonely one, but we are here to understand, no judgement, you can just let it out, like today I feel like s..t, I want to cry, Iwant to let it all out, yes I believe in God, and I know that He will help us all. Lets keep the Faith. Love Selva

Hello Angel Dad [Hawkeye761]; and a warm welcome to our circle of love, support, and prayers. I am sorry to read of your devastating loss. The shock of receiving such unexpected and tragic news, especially during the holidays, must have taken your breath away. :( I can relate all too well to receiving such unexpected as well as unbelievable news. My husband and I lost our beloved Diane; the eldest of our two daughters, a little over 9 years ago on Labor Day weekend; Saturday, Aug. 31, 1996. Our daughter was a front seat passenger in a car driven by a drunken driver that was hit by another car, then two pickup trucks driven by drivers who were also driving under the influence of alcohol. It was described as a chain reaction type crash. Due to the fact that the crash happened on a holiday weekend; Added to our grief was the fact that we were not allowed to identify her remains until the following Tuesday.

Needless to say, it takes a long time to work through the grief we experience when dealing with the loss of a beloved child no matter how or when it happens. It is, indeed, a unique grief that only those of us who have struggled to survive such a unique loss can truly understand. Even after all this time, I still find it hard to find words to describe grief at this magnitude. Though in time, the lingering sadness does settle in a bit, it remains with us forever. My heart goes out to you and your wife. I can relate all too well; as can the other angel moms to the magnitude of the grief you both have endured. Only in the last year or so has my husband expressed openly how the loss of our daughter affected him. As he expressed with deep emotion to a reporter during a rare interview in September, 2004, “I see some part of her every day. We were real close. She was a daddy‘s girl, you know.”

I personally, want to thank you for sharing your painful story here with us. While we can relate to each others grief, each grief journey is, in itself, unique. Your post helped me tremendously as I am sure it will many other Angel Moms. So seldom to we hear from an Angel Dad.

I pray that in time, more Angel Dads will join us here and share their story of pain and loss. We know they are hurting too. Keeping it all inside does more harm than good.

It has been well documented that many marriages suffer and some end in divorce after the loss of a beloved child; simply because most [not all]Angel Dads mistakenly believe talking about their feelings is a sign of weakness and that they should keep their feelings of grief inside. As it relates to most Angel Moms [not all], nothing could be farther from the truth.

I know from my own personal experience as well as what I have learned through research, and from talking to other Angel Moms/Dads that what Angel Moms/Dads need more than anything is to embraced each other, and know that they are not alone in what they are feeling as the result of losing their beloved child.

Therefore, I thank you again for taking the time to post and share your own painful story here. Hopefully, other Angel Dads will begin to understand this important need and begin to share their feelings of pain and loss; what is was really like for them to lose their beloved child, and perhaps share some things that have helped them on their grief journey. It is,in my opinion, the kind of support that many Angel Moms and Angel Dads long for, and really need throughout their grief journey.

God’s peace and blessings,
Verna
Diane's Mom
08/16/60 ~ 08/31/96
Forever In Our Hearts!

BeeLeDoux
12/24/2005 10:30:58 AM
> I wrote this, this year, Lydia died Sept 27, 2003 one day after her oldest son was married. We did not know she was that sick. But, wonderful only daughter. Lydia was born 9/6/63 and died 9/27/03, on my sister's birthday. She was one very loved person to all who met and knew her.



My Child Gone But Not Forgotten
> In Loving Memory of Lydia Faye Carl Cash
>
> Last time I saw you.
> Told you how proud I was of you and your family.
> Told you how much you are loved.
> Not realizing that was the last time to speak to you.
> I thank God daily, I had the chance,
> to tell you I Love You, and kiss you good-bye.
> I miss you so much, but you live on,
> in my thoughts and my heart.
> My child I shall miss you till the day I die.
> You may be gone but are not forgotten.
> Life goes on because of my love for you.
>
> Marion LeDoux
>
> Copyright ©2005 Marion R. LeDoux
>
>

I am new to this prayer circle. I too am an Angel Dad. We lost our oldest son Jonathan four years ago, August 9, 2001. He was 15. It was from an accident at home. He was a model son, with all of the intelligence, strength and loving warmth one could ever hope for their child to have. He was so advanced at school, that he was teaching computers to his teachers as early as fifth grade. We thought he would go on to be a real leader, and make differences in many people's lives no matter what he chose to do. He accepted everyone, not just the other "smart" kids. He saw the inner person in others, and no matter what problems they were having, he accepted them and befriended them. It seems he got the most important of Jesus’ messages. It seemed that there were great things in his future. Then suddenly, there was no future. The accident left him in a coma for two days. Then, while we were being presented with the suggestion that we "pull the plug" due to him having no brain activity, he died. It seems he spared us from having to make that decision.

You grow up thinking there must be an overall plan for things. Then something like this happens. How can there be a plan that included the birth of such an incredible gift to society, just to be taken away before he even had a chance to drive, let alone do the things he could have done for the world? A difficult question to ponder, to say the least.

The first 2 years seemed to be the most difficult, but holidays are still very hard, especially Christmas. Actually, the first three months I was sort of a zombie. Think of it, a month after Jonathan died, we all had September 11, 2001. My wife and I had just barely gotten to the point of being able to get out of bed in the morning without the usual 60 to 90 minutes of emotional roller-coaster riding (you know what I mean), and there on the TV was NYC under attack, and people dieing before our eyes. It seemed like it was all sort of a dream, a strange nightmare you couldn’t wake up from.

Well, anyway, I need to get back to work. I have three other incredible children that keep me very busy. Thank goodness for them. If Jonathan were an only child, my life would be much harder, and my love and prayers go out in particular to those who lost an only child. Please remember that every thing here on earth is temporary, but our spirits are eternal. Eternal is a very long time compared to a mere visit to the earth of just 80 or 90 years. We are all here to learn things about life and about ourselves, and we should do our best to get the most out of it we can.
Grief is a journey, not a place, so please remember to keep moving. And if you do get stuck somewhere, please feel free to ask for directions.

Love & Prayers,
Curt
Jonathan's Dad
April 22, 1986 – September 9, 2001