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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

11/27/2001 14:37

I sm sorry for your loss. I too lost a child when he was only seven. He was struck by a car while I watched. Please remember God does not allow any more than we can bear to occur in our lives. I realize now that my small son touched many lives in a positive, inspirational manner. It was as though he was here before. I could never be angry that he is gone, because we have such beautiful memories.

I invoke the prayer of Jabez to expand your territories, so that you can recognize all your blessings.

God Bless

11/27/2001 19:20

My son died on 6/3/00. He was 21 years old. email me for a wonderful website you can come and speak about your wonderful chid.

11/27/2001 22:24

Hello, msifetayo72, I'm so sorry to read of your loss, it must have been so hard to watch that happen, in front of your very own eyes. You have a wonderful outlook on your loss, I'm sure it will be a comfort to other mothers here at the Circle, and it will give them hope for a better time to come, a more peaceful acceptance in time. I too say the Prayer of Jabez, and know how powerful it is, it's nice to see someone else praying it also. I'm so happy for you that you have such wonderful memories, we all do, but it takes time for a lot of moms to remember the good times until they've journeyed down the road of grief a little more. May God bless you and you will be prayed for here,
Luv Sandy

11/27/2001 22:29

Hello oxdiver, I'm sorry to read of your loss also, of your beloved son. Thank you for posting that website, it may be helpful for some moms to check it out and help them in their grief. May God bless you, and you will be prayed for also,
Luv Sandy

11/28/2001 09:03

Hello Marydandrea, I just read your post of yesterday and I feel your pain. I too lost my daughter at the age of 22. yesterday was the one year anniversary of her death. It was a very hard day to get threw. I feel your pain and know God is watching over us to help us threw all the pain. I myself ask many times "WHY" and I still feel I don't have the answer. The past year has been the worst ever for me. I never thought something like this could happen to me. Now that I have found this site I feel I am not alone anymore. I have Gods help and the prayers of many other loving souls. My prayers will continue for everyone whom needs Gods help including myself. May God bless you and keep you safe. Love Wendy

11/28/2001 14:11

when63, Hello Wendy, I just read your post, and yesterday must have been such a painful day for you! I remember our first year Anniversary for our Shane, and I spent most of the day crying and in great pain, missing him so badly that I wanted to die also, so that the pain would go away, and I'd see him again. The 'firsts' of everything that first year are so very painful, your world has been turned upside down, and things will never be the same, your life is forever changed.
Oh, how I wish sometimes I could turn back the clock, and I'm certain you feel the same way. It's so very hard to believe, that a year ago yesterday, your precious daughter was with you, but it would be her last day here on earth. It's painful and there's no getting around it, or away from it. I hope you did something special to mark the day, whether it was just remembering her, visiting her grave, putting a wreath there, or just praying and hoping for the day to end. God bless you, it's such a painful time for you and other newly bereaved moms.
No, you're not alone anymore, you have this Circle of love and prayer, and you post anytime you feel like it, even if you just want to vent. The "Why" is the big question that we all ask, and one day it will be revealed to us, but in the meantime it gives us little comfort.
Just know that God is working in your life, He feels your pain and understands it better than anyone else, and loves you very much.
Our prayers are with you and everybody else who posts here, we all belong to that 'club' that we don't want membership in. May God in His goodness and love bless you today and give you some peace,
Luv Sandy

11/29/2001 10:30

Hello, Sandy, Thank you for writting back. I now look forward to reading everones posts dailey. I enjoy receiving them everyday. It gives me something to look forward too. Yes Tuesday was a very difficult day. I spent most of the day at her grave. I did bring her special flowers along with a long letter that I read to her. It is so hard to believe I will never see Crystal again. I spent most of yesterday looking at all of her pictures from way back. I have them all seperated out. I enjoy looking at them often and she is always in my heart. Sometimes the memeories of her are sad, very sad but I look at them now as healing. I know God wants me to be happy and I am trying. Thank you for your words and prayers. I think of you often. Love Wendy

11/29/2001 13:41

I would like to requst a prayer for a family that goes to my girlfriend Ashley's church, as well as Ashley. Jesse was killed in a car accident last Saturday, he was only 11 years old. He was a sweet boy, whom Ashley spent time with in youth group, and grew to love. So please pray for Jesse's family, and all those who mourn his loss.

Thank you,

11/29/2001 13:42

I would like to requst a prayer for a family that goes to my girlfriend Ashley's church, as well as Ashley. Jesse was killed in a car accident last Saturday, he was only 11 years old. He was a sweet boy, whom Ashley spent time with in youth group, and grew to love. So please pray for Jesse's family, and all those who mourn his loss.

Thank you,

11/29/2001 13:44

I would like to requst a prayer for a family that goes to my girlfriend Ashley's church, as well as Ashley. Jesse was killed in a car accident last Saturday, he was only 11 years old. He was a sweet boy, whom Ashley spent time with in youth group, and grew to love. So please pray for Jesse's family, and all those who mourn his loss.

Thank you,

11/29/2001 13:45

Opps..It is my first time here, I didn't realize that refreshing my browser would post again. I appologize.

11/29/2001 13:53

Hello SilentWonder - Michael, that's so very sad, only 11 years old, his parents and other loved ones must be in so much pain right now.
Ashley is also feeling the pain of losing a very special little boy to her, and she's grieving also. We will definitely pray for his parents, family and friends, Ashley included as they try to cope with this tragic loss.
May Our Heavenly Father hold them in the palm of His hand.
Luv Sandy

11/29/2001 14:05

Hello Wendy, I'm so happy that you've posted again, and told us what you did to mark Crystal's 1st year Anniversary. That's so beautiful, bringing her special flowers, and reading a long letter to her, I know you had many things to say to her, and I KNOW she was listening to her mom reading that letter. Gosh yes, I'm so happy myself that I have many pictures of my Shane, they bring me much joy as I recall when they were taken, how he looked at the time, and even laugh at the funny ones. So your pictures of your Crystal are your special memories to you, throughout the various stages of her life. Yes, sometimes it's very sad to look at them, and sometimes it brings us much comfort. We made a special photo album out of Shane's pictures from babyhood on, is that why you're separating Crystal's pictures, it's a wonderful pictorial memorial to your child. I know Wendy, it is very hard to know that we won't see our children again until it's our turn, but I hang onto that thought, and I celebrate the love that never dies between us.
God does want you to be happy, but He also understands your pain right now, so take all of this at your own pace, there is no set timetable to stop grieving, everyone is different.
May the peace of Our Lord be with you,
Luv Sandy

11/29/2001 14:12

Thank you Shaner, that means alot to both Ashley and I. Only a couple weeks ago, Ashley lost her close friend Jerimiah, please remember his family and friends in your prayers as well. He was the drummer in he praise and worship band Ashley sings in. Ashley has been through alot the last couple months, I hope God gives her guidence.

11/29/2001 15:48

Hello, this time of year is especially difficult for me. I lost my daughter, Destinae Noel, which was 2 weeks old 8 years ago October 29th, I was only 21. I always wonder what it would be like for her to be around playing with my sister's kids and what school she would be going to and what she would look like. Sometimes I feel I am a little crazy for trying to image what it would be like with her around. I realize and accept that God has a plan for everyone and that things happen for a reason, but sometimes I just wish I would have been able to say goodbye and I love her one more time, before she passed. I was trying to catch up on some sleep downstairs at the hospital when she died. And I wish I would have been able to hear them page me, because if I did, I would have been able to tell her goodbye and say I love you just one more time.

11/29/2001 16:03

Hello flyinwithlegaljo. Everyone always wishes they could have had the chance to say goodbye, but I ask myself why. Why tell them goodbye? We will all meet again, when God calls us home. You don't have to imagine what she looks like, for you will see her again, in her new home, in heaven. She knows you love her, you didn't have to tell her.

11/29/2001 20:21

Hello flyinwithlegaljo, yes, this time of the year is always hard on us, with the Holidays here and our beloved child not. I'm so sorry that you lost your baby, and it's only natural that you would wonder "what if". Of course you wonder what she would have grown to look like, what kind of child she would have turned out to be, it's a very natural reaction! You are definitely not crazy, all us mothers wonder the "what ifs". When you lose a child, you lose a part of your future, so we'll forever wonder about her, and how she would have matured.
She knows that you love her, and that you're sorry you didn't get the chance to say good-bye, but she loves you still and waits for the day when you will once join her when it's your turn and you will be reunited with her. May Our Heavenly Father give you peace and comfort,
Luv Sandy

11/30/2001 03:13

Verna, Thank you for your special prayers and thoughts at Thanksgiving - I can't even imagine what Christmas is going to be like - we'll be moving this weekend,then I think I will probably crash and burn in a big way. I miss my Kristina sooooo much - your support, and Sandy's, and all the moms I hear from are what carries me. Love and prayers to you all of you and your Angels!

11/30/2001 06:59

SilentWonder, - Michael, you're so very welcome, we are honoured to pray for those who have suffered losses, especially children, and yes, we will pray for Ashley as she grieves not only her little friend Jesse, but also her fellow band member, that's a lot of grief in a short time, especially at this time of the year. May God bless you for posting here, and we appreciate your prayers also.
Luv Sandy

12/2/2001 09:43

Cindy, You are so welcome. The thoughtful ways in which you remember all of our precious angels is greatly appreciated by all moms who post here. I know what you mean about the Christmas holidays. I will be saying an extra prayer for all moms who will be facing their first Christmas. We know that they are with us in spirit. It's just that we miss being able to see and touch and hug them! I know God will answer our prayers and see us through. I have a very dear friend who lost her son, Andy, 2/20/94, who emailed me recently saying; They are exactly where we want them to be, but not at the time we would have chosen. To that, I say, Amen! But, I know that God understands, and will help us make it through the holidays and other special days. And, for that, I am so thankful. And, as always, I join all the other moms in praying that God will be with us and comfort us throughout the holidays and the new year. This will be my sixth without my Diane; and my first without my mom, my brother, and his daughter. I know that I will be prayed for here. :) I thank God for the prayers of all who post here. Love to all.

12/2/2001 10:12

Hi Sandy, I just wanted to thank you and the other moms that visited my prayer circle. I decided after creating a couple of prayer circles for a couple of weeks to cancle because there were so few post made there. Which says to me; there is no grief like the grief of losing a child. We seem to be able to adjust to any other loss, in time; but the loss of a child is by far the greatest loss a mother will ever know! So, once again, I thank you and the other moms who posted there, and I thank God, for our prayer circle, and for the opportunity to pray for all moms who have lost their precious children and also, for the prayers that others pray for me. Much love to all.

12/2/2001 10:46

I am desperate and know through prayer all things are possible. My nephew took his life this year (August 21st). He didn't like the world and felt he could do nothing to change the way it was going. My sister-in-law has been blaming herself and I feel so helpless in helping her believe that it was not her fault. She is hurting so bad and we have cried together and even though I have not lost a child, I truly believe I feel her pain. I pray for constantly and try to talk with her often, we live many miles away from each other, and she doesn't have many people that she opens up to, but I'm happy to say that I can get her to open up to me and talk about anything. The other day she told me she is so dead inside and many days wished she wasn't alive. I told her to stop it and remember she is an important child of God and her time is not now. God never punishes us and He only gives us what we can bare. I need to get in contact with someone who can relate to this situation. Someone who has possibly loss a child through suicide who can talk with her and explain that 'Yes' it hurts and her life will never be the same, but reassure her that she can go on. Oh God I know she's hurting and I know her son Loves her still and he did not kill himself for any reason of her not being a good mother. She is a good mother, a good person, a good wife and a dear friend. Please pray for her to see this and to believe. She is a Christian and believes, but her strength is weak now. Peace Be With You All! Charlie

12/2/2001 11:22

LOVE2U, Hello Verna, I just read your post, and I'm sorry to see your Circles cancelled, perhaps you didn't give them enough time, but you and I know that there is no pain like losing a child, it's so all-consuming, so for the little while you did have your's up, thank you, I for one enjoyed your poetry!, but very happy to see you back here! We need your beautiful prayers here, and you know you're always in our's. May God bless you Verna, as I know He does, and thank you for sharing your beautiful poetry with us for a while, anyway, you're very talented, God has given you a wonderful gift! Welcome back,
Luv Sandy

12/2/2001 12:00

Hello Chatzep, Charlie, I'm so happy that you posted here, but under so sad circumstances. First of all I want to commend you for being a rock for your sister-in-law right now, she needs love and support from people, especially family, and you are blessedly there for her. Her loss is very recent and she is in deep grief at the moment. The first year is spent in so much pain, myself and other moms will tell you that we too wished we had died also, the pain is that great. Losing a child throws your world into a tailspin, turns everything upside down for you, plunges you into a deep depression, and sometimes you feel like an outsider looking in, because no one else can understand just how you feel. The grief of losing a child is all-consuming as I said to Verna in her post, and every mom here will tell you the same thing.
Guilt over losing one of your children is a very natural emotion while you're grieving, and suicide compounds this feeling of guilt, this blaming of yourself, how could it not. You, I and other moms who have lost children can tell your sister that it was not her fault in any way, but right now she can't hear that, she has to work through it with help. She needs lots of time to come to a more peaceful place within herself, but it takes a lot of work and a lot of time and prayer. When a person is bent on suicide, there is nothing anyone can do to stop it, and there are lots of moms on these pages who have lost their children to suicide, but were helpless or didn't know that their child was even thinking about it. In some it brings up feelings of intense guilt, anger; anger at themselves and anger sometimes at God. These are all very natural emotions. No, of course it doesn't mean she wasn't a good, loving parent, but her son was in so much pain that the only way he saw to stop it was to end it permanently, God bless him. Your sister-in-law is really hurting right now and will be for a while. I'm so happy that you are there for her, a lot of other moms don't get much support or understanding, so she is blessed that she has you to talk through her feelings with. Talking about her loss is one powerful way to release some of her pain, so hopefully along with you, and perhaps some other moms here who have lost children to suicide, hopefully they will come forward in their own pain to reach out to her also. If there are any support groups in her area, that may be a good idea to steer her onto, there she can openly share her feelings with other moms and find comfort among them, sharing her story and her pain in a safe place. I would also recommend any books on grieving to her, especially when you lose a child to a suicide, there are many, many good ones out there. In the meantime, you are truly a blessing to her, and I know it's hard on family members, desperately wanting to help. but she needs your love and support right now very badly, so as I said, I'm very happy to hear that she has you at least to open up to. She will definitely be prayed for here as will her family and you, and hopefully another mom who's lost a child to suicide will come forward to offer some insights and help to her too. May God in His love and goodness bless your sister-in-law and her family and you, as she struggles to come to terms with her tremendous loss.
Luv Sandy

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