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Divorces after many years of marriage


Marriages often fall apart after the children are gone and mid-life crisis and empty nest or sickness/disaster strike. A mate chooses to go off on his/her own. Perhaps the grass looks greener, even though we know looks are deceiving. Join us in prayer.


SHATTERED!? Your mate, your best friend, your other half, your children's other parent, a big piece of your heart has been ripped out just when you thought we have been married for so very long, we will make it all the way. Perhaps your parents have just celebrated their 55th or so wedding anniversary when your spouse annouces he/she are leaving for (you fill in the blank.) Pain, grief, loss of a loved one. Would death have been better?
Share with us your pain. You are not alone. More and more of us, no matter what our faith, or the number of children, or economics, are being left behind, rejected, abandonned, separated, divorced.
Let us encourage one another and grow through prayer and care. God understands and will never reject us as a spouse has. He commands us to pray for one another. Open your aching heart, walk with a friend, survive!


 
judyringding -6/28/2002
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bndolphin
7/8/2006 20:04

My husband woke up on the morning of May 19th, kissed me goodbye and said he would see me later and went to work only to not return home. I found out on Monday the 22nd of May that he was with another woman 10 years his junior. On May 30th, we filed for divorce after he threatened to make me pay him alimony if I didn't make it easy and quick for him. I was completely in shock as I never saw this coming. We have been married for 16 years and have a 15 year old girl and a 9 year old boy who are just as devastated as I am. I still love him deeply, butI don't know if I could ever trust him again if he tried to come back. I am not sure I want him back. Please pray that God's will is done and for strength and comfort for me and my kids. Please pray for him, that he will turn his life back to God and serve Him. Because I know that is the only way that he will ever be even decent to us, let alone mend this family.


brendahisted
11/17/2006 09:09

I ask god to bless all of you as I ask god to help me as well. all this pain it just hurts so bad. my husband and I havent even made it a year, we married to earlie and should of learned more about one anouther, I can not live with mental abuse or him putting his dog befor me and acting as if it was his wife, he has locked me out of our bedroom and told his dog I am going to divorce her and it will be just you and I . he has been screaming divorce since after 1 week after we got married. he turned into someone I hardly knew. I only knew him 2 months befor I married him. but he acted as if he was every thing I have ever wanted in a man. every little thing I did upset him. and he would say horriable things to me. after I had had enough I would say them back as well, this relationship was doomed from the start. he had abusive parents and I did not know untill after. he would lock his ex girlfriend in the basement so she would not bother him. it was werid. he had made plenty threats on my life and when we tryed to talk we could not. there was no communication with out him always bringing up a past event or him always wanting to be right, then one day he said " I dont want to be one of those people where the man kills his wife or vise versa, that sceard the crap out of me neitherless throughout our marriage I spent 95% of it sleeping on the couch and him with his dog in our bedroom. I have only been married 10 months and I have left him 2 times. and this is the second time and I have filed for a divorce. he tryes to make all these promises with nothing ever working out. when I went back the 1st time it got worse. I had only been back 1 month and I had to leave again the mental abuse and the sharp words were just to much my little heart could not take it. it hurt too bad, he made it clear that it was what he wanted. now he says he is sorry. I have known in my heart that he had cheated on me. I never cought him though, but he made it clear when ever he would just take off for hours when he was angery. I ask that you please pray for our healing and that God will work in our lives. there is so much more, but I ask for the love of god that surpasses all understanding to cover you and to cover Micheal and myself( brenda lee) thank you and God Bless you all.


brendahisted
11/18/2006 07:57

marryund
I pray that the LORD JESUS will open doors for you, and give you the wisdom and knowledge that you need. and to keep you safe. I pray that for both of us. I am havent even been married a yr. and I am getting a divorce. I know I suffured alot of mental abuse. and almost physical with alot of threats made upon my life by him. I have cryed till no end unto Jesus. and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he hears me. I as well in my weakness wanted and still want to go back, but I do not. I fear that I wont wake up. with GOD every thing is possiable, but without him nothing is possiable. I know what 1 corinth verse 7 says, but I do not belive Jesus wants us to be harmed when we are to be honered,respected and love'd like our husbands loves the church and his own body. I know that when one believes and anouther does not it is hard. I also know that he will not change over night. so stay in prayer, walk with the lord and be still and he will direct all your ways. trust in him and abide in him. He has to be 1st in your life not your husband. when a marriage is christ centered God is the center of your lives. and there are less prolbems. I myself am seeing that 1st hand. the lord will send you a comforter (the holy spirit) be dilegient in prayer and remember he is raight there with you. He hears your crys. He knows your heart. and if it is GODS WILL then you will be with your husband. GOD hates divorce because people get hurt. He also tells you to be equally yoked. and if he is not a believer to not give up. but he does not want you to be physically or mentally abused. this I know. I will be praying for you. stay strong, and stay in prayer and let Jesus guide you.


brendahisted
11/20/2006 10:37

I am so confused. please pray for me and my situation. I can use all the prayer I can get. thank you.


brendahisted
11/27/2006 07:08

lord jesus please show us the direction we showed take in our lives, let us not follow our feelings but to live by your will. give us the knowledge and wisdom to know the differance, protect us as we journey into trials and tribulations through our divorce.forgive us of our sins, Amen


brendahisted
12/4/2006 08:58

Dear Lord Jesus please open the doors that we need open, and close the doors that need to be closed. Please help me to see what direction it is that you want me to go. help Holy spirit help my mind to be still so that I may be able to hear you and listen to others with an open mind regarding my situation. help me to be the christian woman that you want me to be. help me to forgive myself as you forgive me, I know that it took two for this marriage to fail. you know my heart lord. Please help me, amen


brendahisted
12/7/2006 08:30

I have been on this site for awhile now, and I pray for all of you who are going through trials and tribulations, but I found in my journey with the lord that no matter haw hard and confuseing it gets that the lord jesus will send you the holy spirit to comfort you, and soon you will have the victory that you all need and the blessing that you ask for if it is the lords will. I know because he has brought new truths and new life into my life. I have prayed and asked him to open the doors that need to be open and to close the doors that needed to be closed, I know divorce is not of god, satan always trys to hand his hands in something, and satan hates marriage because it is from god, but if there is abuse involved weather mental or physical, I do not believe that god wants us to fear our spouses, fear is not of the lord, trust in him and be a woman of the most high god and he will be diligent with you. He will lead in paths that make your ways straight. there is a rainbow at the end of the tunnel. and never forget that he is raight there with you through all your trials, you are not alone. he will never forsake you or leave you. stay in prayer for he knows your hearts desire. he loves you.


brendahisted
12/11/2006 15:42

I have apraise report I would like to share with all of you, thank you for praying for my marriage and I hope that you continue to pray. My husband and I have taken divorce off the table, The lord is working in his life and in mine, we have stopped the divorce, and have resumed liveing our lives. I want to thank my lord jesus. and I want to thank all of you who were praying for me, I have forgaven him and my my trust has been restored in our marriage. it is the lords will for every marriage to work out, and the lord will open doors that need to be open and close the doors that need to be closed. so stay in prayer and the lord will restore your marriage if it is the lords will. once again thank you.


tel927
12/18/2006 05:55

My husband and I separated in September. We have been together for 20 years and have a 17 yr old son. I realize now that we have never been very good at communicating, he would get angry about things and 10 minutes later it was like it never happened. His mom was very ill & nearly died a couple of years ago and since then he has been very stressed. We have been through a lot since then. He told me during the summer he just woke up one morning and thought he was not in love with me anymore and did not desire me. We were going to try to stay together until our son graduated in june 07, however I found out he was having an affair and could not deal with that. The woman he is having an affair with is also married and has a 20 mth old daughter. They are coworkers. When we first separated he said he would never get back together with me. His girlfriend was supposed to leave her husband a long time ago but she keeps telling him she can't right now because of her daughter. In the past few weeks my husband has come to me with his problems with her and I have listened and tried not to be ignorant about her. I have been praying he would go to counseling and he finally started last week. Since his session he has given his girlfiend and ultimatum. His counselor told him the grim statistics of affairs, less than 1% last. Lately, he just says he is very confused and doesn't know what to do, whether he will date other people or try to reconcile with me. I believe we are destined to be together and have prayed for all of us including girlfriend and her family. I have seen glimpses of hope lately and we really need all of the prayers we can get. I will pray for each of you as well.
Lastly, I just need to say that I had not been going to church for a while and at least this has brought me closer to God! Blessings to all and Happy Holidays!


brendahisted
12/23/2006 10:25

dear lord jesus, please help us, its a going to be a rough christmas, I need you like every one else does, Please help us all, in jesus name, amen


paul1971
1/20/2007 23:32

I am just recently divorced and the last almost two years of my life have been the most painful experience of my life. I tried to carry on with things, but I have been completely lost! I believe that God has been trying to get my attention as I feel I have been called to the ministry, but I don't even feel like doing anything for myself. Please, please pray that I can find God's love again and be able to rely on Him for direction. I have been struggling with drugs and alcohol, but I just welcome the pain from it and don't feel worthy to be salvaged. Thank you all who really honor prayer. Help!


catholicschoolheartbreak
1/22/2007 21:47

I met this guy and I was swept off my feet. He made me want to be a better person. I have always hoped things would work out in the end but every day I have to come to the realization that it just isn't going to happen, and it hurts. I don't want to love him anymore. I cry sometimes, sometimes I could pass the time daydreaming a beautiful setting in which everything falls into place. Falling in place the way things tend to do when you have faith. Only this doesn't happen and every second I waste daydreaming just hurts me more when my feet touch the earth and I comprehend the cold reality. I pray not to love this person but it just doesn't happen. I don't think his heart will never settle with me, and at the same time I hope it does. Knowledge vs. Hope. I would never want him with me unless he wanted to be there, I won't pray for him to be with me, I want him to be happy, thats what I pray, I pray for him to be happy even if its not with me. I don't want to love him anymore. Please pray for me.


tonieee
1/23/2007 11:30

I recently found out that my husband has been having an affair and that he's gonna be a father. We have been together for 21 years but married 13years. He left me and my 2 children for 15 months to live with this women. I recently filed for divorce. This was the last straw. I really don't want a divorce but I can't remain his wife when I know that another child will be born from someone else. I've triedf hard to keep the marriage going. But I have to let go. Please everyone send me a prayer for strength, for the pain to go away and to be stronger for my children.thanks


ladyatthewell
1/23/2007 13:37

My heart goes out to all of the lonely,confused and hurting people here.My daughter is going through a messy divorce at this time also.Father I ask in your precious name that you will give strength and your comfort to all that is going through this awful thing called divorce.I ask dear jesus in your name that you draw near and minister to these precious people as they draw near to you.Wrap your arms around them and let them know of your love.Your word say's you will never leave or forsake us and you are our avenger.You know the pain, you see all and know all.You know our hearts break when injustice is done to the one's we love and it is so hard not to take matter's into our own hands.Let us rest in you dear Jesus,We give you all the glory and all the praise and know that all is in your hands.These things we ask and receive in your holy name, Amen.


firet
2/9/2007 00:50

Hello, my oldest son has been married 10 yrs with two beautifull children, a boy 10 and a girl 7. His wife came in and told him she wanted a divorce. To make a long story short, she has been having an affair with a man that built there brand new home before it was even started being built. My son has lost 30 lbs and the kids are having a hard time. she is tellig the kids things that are lies and things that they should not be told. I pray that you will hold my son and grandkids up in prayer. I pray the Lord will comfort my son, shield him from anymore hurt, the pain will heal and the children will know that their dad loves them and has tried to protect them and they will see he is not the one that wanted the divorce. Thank you for any prayers , I know God will see them through but I pray that the devil be bound in the name of Jesus and peace be restored to my son and his children. Thank you.


imonmyway
3/15/2007 03:08

I have become a witness to how painfull divorce can be. My soon to be ex husband and I dated for 5 years. Soon after our marriage, everything changed. He was no longer the best friend that I once knew. After trying almost a year to work through our differences, he announced that he wanted a divorce. That was a major blow to me. I couldn't eat or even function. I was diagnosed with depression and prescribed pills that I would not begin to digest because I knew the power of PRAYER and GOD. It has been 5 months and I know that it is by the grace of God that I have made it this far with the realization. Though my marriage was shortlived, I can relate to all of you. I know that God has collected all of our tears and he knows our pain. He is there. I am assured of His whereabouts because He said in His word that He will NEVER leave us nor forsake us. Although I am still dealing with the pain, I am holding on because I know he has something in store for me and you as well. The psalmist penned it best when he said, "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for God is with me". The battle is the Lord's. Pray for my strength as I pray for you and yours.


Melanie2626
3/29/2007 01:08

Married for five years. I feel so alone and depressed..My husband is not at all affectionate. When I am sick he walks right pass me as if I was not there. I spend most of my time at a home where everything is destroyed because my husband is not able to finish projects. I pray to God to help me through this. I'm at the point where I just want to give up. I am tired, lonely, depressed, and angry. I ask God to give me peace. We have two children and one on the way.

Please pray for me and my family.


Krikos
4/19/2007 10:41

Please pray for my marriage. My wife recently filed for divorce. I in my ignorance have not loved her the way I should have. I have such a deep and sincere love for her now. I pray to God every day that he returns her to me. I pray that the Will of God be done. I pray that she will find the grace to forgive me and that my faith will move the mountain of hate and anger within her heart. I pray that she will find a way to trust me again. I ask this all through His Most Precious Blood.


speclk
5/12/2007 22:33

After knowing my husband for over six years we were married a little over a year when he pushed me to the floor(he was drinking and got angry when I tried to leave the bedroom after telling him that I did not want to fight with him and I did not want to talk about things when he was drinking) I left hoping that I would be safe while he did some serious thinking. I hoped that we could get help and save our marriage. When I called him to tell him that I wanted to save our marriage and that we needed counseling, he told me that he would rather live alone. He blames me for everything. He started a divorce within two weeks and he never told me. The divorce is not final yet. I married him for better or worse and I am willing to work through anything with him. I believed in our vows. I have been told that there is another women involved. But I do not know for sure. Please pray that he will give his live to god and that our marriage will be put back together the way that god intended it to be.


speclk
5/13/2007 10:33

My heart and prayers go out to everyone who is going through pain and suffering. As I read the words written on this sight, I cry because I too feel your pain. My husband had a heart attack (6 months after we were married) and he had double bi pass surgery. Then 5 months after that he had another heart attack because one of the bi passes failed. I too am praying that god will open the doors that need to be opened and close the ones that need to be closed. My husband will not even communicate with me. I am not able to go back to our home (over 6 hr. drive) and get my clothes because he feels that I deserved everything that I am getting because I left (to be safe). I have heard from other people that he has been telling lies about me so that he will look like the loving husband (because he believes that he did nothing wrong). He has told people that I shoved him (I have never pushed anyone in my life) and he just shoved me back. There are many more lies but I will not go into all of them. I ask that you pray for God's will in this. Please pray that God will intervien and open my husband's heart and that God's will be done. I know that God does not want divorces. I know that God brought us together for a reason. I ask for prayers for my husband Gary and my name is Kay. I will being praying for all of you. Thank you for your prayers. There are so many people out there hurting. Satin is working overtimes. Only prayers and the will of God will defeat him. Walk with the Lord and he will get you through this.


glome
5/31/2007 14:06

I was together with my husband for 8 years. We dated for 3 and married for 5. We have two beautiful children. During our relationship I was very insecure, jealous and possessive...it must not have been easy to live with me. I would question him all the time and argue with him. In 2003, I realized that he wasn't doing anything and it was my insecurities from past childhood hurts that were causing me to be jealous and mistrusting towards him. I admitted this to him and seeked counselling to try and resolve my problems because I wanted to make my marriage work and provide a happy family for my kids. I think he was tired of having dealt with it all those years and wanted to start going out with his friends more. I was still not okay with the insecurities. He started to lie about going out and in 2007 he said he could no longer take it and left. I begged him even, when he left, to go to counselling. We have been separated for 1 1/2 years now and the pain is still as hard as ever. I keep praying to God that the bitterness and hate I have towards him for not working to keep our family together will not haunt me forever but I haven't been able to let go of those feelings. I keep praying to God to fill his heart and help him find his way back but God's will first. I feel betrayed and hurt that after admitting and trying to work through my issues my ex choose not to walk with me. I pray to God to help me not to wish him harm in his emotional and spiritual life but the hate I have toward him keeps those thoughts coming. Lord, I don't know where to go from here, how to move forward and I pray for your guidance and healing of my heart. I place my heart in your hands and pray that it is your Will not to carry bitterness and hatred which only serve to harm me and my kids.


Brenygirl
7/22/2007 09:18

After 2 separations in the past 17 months my husband & I were working on things one more time, he promised to treat me better. I got tired of his angry blow ups & finally I asked for a divorce. My parents told me sometimes divorce is a good thing, the gave their blessings. They said I needed to get away from him. He pursued me for months proclaiming his love for me. We were getting along great. He was treating me like a queen.

The day we filed for divorce I admitted my love for him and that I had been thinking about the vows we made before God to each other. I felt no matter what we needed to make this work and he agreed. He did insist that we still file for the divorce in case it didnt work out .

I am disabled due to chronic pain and was having a hard time keeping up on the bills at the place he & I lived. Six hundred dollars a month just doesnt cover much & I am waiting on a decision from SSDI.

My husband told me that the kids & I should move in with him and we would start over & gradually pay off the bills from the old place. We spent a week moving things, talking about our dreams for the future. It was wonderful. I was half moved in with him and things were looking up.

Two days ago he tells me I cant move in with him because he loves me so much and is afraid of hurting me again. He said was going to take a night to make sure he that this is what he exactly wanted. He called to talk to me about a few things and in the background I hear his girlfriend yell, "Tell HER you are with ME." I was devastated & couldnt say a word. He just hung up the phone without another word to me.

We have been together 11 years and married 7. Everyone tells me I am better off without him and I know I probably am, but how do you stop loving someone? Please pray that I have the strength to get thru this. I have hit rock bottom. I have to ask my parents if my 3 kids and I can come live with them. I need to heal and God's guidance to get over the hurt and betrayal without becoming bitter. Thank you


lost77
7/26/2007 21:54

My Husband told me last week that he wanted a divorce. Next week is our 2 year anniversery. He is my best friend in the whole world. I have never opened my heart so much to anyone. I don't belive that there is someone else, so I don't have anyone or anything to blame. I just turned thirty this year and I have three children from a previous marriage. I was the one who wanted out of that marriage, so I really feel like I am getting what I deserve. I am so depressed. He said that "it is not the same" anymore. and that I need to move on and let go. He is an alcoholic and gets mean sometimes. I often wonder if he is bi-polar. I really tried to love him for who he was and I don't understand. My kids don't know yet. They are at there dads for the summer. I really want him to come home!! I really don't want this and I wish he would change his mind. I pray every night for an answer to this. I pray for angles to surround me and get me through this. I feel like I am dying inside. I read this prayer chain and I cry with all of you. I know that everything happens for a reason, but I wish I knew why. Please pray for me and my kids, most of all please pray for my husband, and that he finds his way home to the people that love him most.


potatotech
8/4/2007 23:39

My wife has decided after 10 years to file for divorce. We have 5 children between us and this has been the most devistating, heart wrenching thing ever. Our divorce is to be finalized on August 24th. She refuses to go to counceling or even want to look at me. We have only been talking about finances and the kids via email. I have tried to tell her that I love her more then anything, but her responce has been hatefull and hurtful. I take responsibility for anything I have failed to do as a husband, but since she won't tell me what has driven her away I do not know...
I know how I feel and the tears that never seem to want to stop. The pain in my heart... So I pray for all of you who are going through this. I know how you feel - people keep telling me it will be alright and in time your heart will heal and you will find someone else... I do know that but it's the time and memories and the why that will continue to hurt until the "time" comes. Just know I have been praying and trusting in Gods plan. Please don't give up, and keep praying.

 
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