Prayer Circles

changinglifemi, I'm so happy that you found this Circle too, here we can all share our pain over losing our children, it's a very safe haven for grieving moms such as yourself. The poem that I posted on the previous page truly describes what a mom feels when she loses a baby, as you have. The pain is very hard and cuts right to your very soul, and in that pain sometimes we turn to external things to 'erase' that pain, or try to, to get some relief. But these things are only temporary fixes, in order to come to terms with your grief you have to experience it and you have to acknowledge it, just as you're doing now.
A loss is a loss, and as I've said before with mothers who have lost their babies, you carried your's under your heart for nine months, now you carry her in your heart forever. Love never dies, and your child still has that bond with you. Losing a child is devastating, it turns your whole world upside down. But out of your pain came a closer relationship with Christ, so some good always comes out of a tragedy. Lean heavily on Him and He will continue to carry you through as you come to terms with your loss. Thank you so much for your prayers for us, and you will definitely be prayed for here.
Luv Sandy

To all that have lost a child. Thank you for your prayers. I too lost my daughter at the age of 22 on 11/27/00. She had just given birth to a beautiful little boy one week earlier. I Miss her so much, and feel I need the prayers of others so I may go on. It has just been one year since her death and like others have said, the fog is just so thick. My thoughts and prayers go out to all that are feeling the same pain as I.

When63, I'm so very sorry to read of your own loss, your precious daughter last year, at the age of 22. It's also so very sad to hear she died shortly after giving birth to your grandson, God love him. I know, the missing of them consumes you, how happy we would be if we could turn back the clock, even for a moment! But we can't so we go on missing their physical presence, and feeling the pain that you are now feeling. The fog may be very thick right now, it's only been a year for you, but in time, it will lighten and you'll see things and feel things differently, I promise you. But right now you're in deep grief, the first year is so very painful, you mark off the first things of everything, in my case, I counted off the months that first year and still continue to do so, every 15th of the month I mourn.
Your daughter's 1st year Anniversary is coming up shortly, and I know that it will be a very hard day for you and your loved ones, as you reflect in shock and disbelief that it has been a year since you've seen her, talked to her, or held her. Our lives are forever changed when we lose a child, but I can speak from experience when I say that some things do change for the better, some good always comes out of tragedy. I know your little grandson must be such a wonderful joy for you, and a big piece of your daughter, a lasting gift that she left behind for all of you. Thank you so much for your prayers for all of us, and yes, you will definitely be prayed for here, May God in His love and goodness bless you on your Journey and keep you close to Him.
Luv Sandy

Shaner, Thank you so much for your prayers. I needed them yesterday as I know I will in the following weeks. The holidays are among us and it is a difficult time for anyone whom has lost a child. The holidays where such a special time for my daughter Crystal which makes them specially difficult. I know I must pray for Gods help in my healing and to release the pain. I not only miss Crystal so much but she also was my best friend. I will pray for you and your loved ones through the holidays.

Hello when63, you're so very welcome for the prayers, that's why I love and honour this Circle. I need them as much as anyone else! I'm happy that our prayers helped to carry you through yesterday, as you celebrated (or tried to) Thanksgiving without your beautiful Crystal there for the first time.
It's another holiday that most moms who've lost children are breathing a sigh of relief that it's over. The next big hurdle is Christmas, Hannukah, but I know somehow we'll all make it through.
Yes, our son Shane was definitely his mother's son, not only my son, but my best friend, so you're feeling that piercing pain also with the loss of Crystal.
You post whenever you feel like it, and you'll be in our prayers, there is a great amount of prayer power in this Circle! Thank you also for praying for us all too, as I said, we all need Divine help as we struggle with our losses.
May God help you in your healing, help you to release your pain, and give you some peace.
Luv Sandy

Cindys1020~I said a special prayer for you; and all the other moms who were facing their first Thanksgiving without their precious children. The first of any holiday or other special day is hard on all of us; but the newly grieving moms are experiencing their first, and they deserve an extra hug through the prayers we pray for all. I prayed that God would allow you to feel your Kristina's presence on Thanksgiving day. I prayed the same prayer for all moms who have lost their precious children-no matter how much time has passed. For we all love and miss our precious angels; and we will continue to feel that pain; that longing to see then again one day. We know that they are with our Lord and Savior; but we will forever love miss them. Thank you and all the other moms for continuing to pray for all moms. For as Sandy so often says, we all need them. God bless you, Cindy. I also prayed a very special prayer for Jessica's mom and the moms of all the special angels that you honor on your email signature! I know God heard my prayer. He hears them all you know! :)
LOVE2U
Verna

Sandy~ As I was reading some earlier post, I discovered the mistake I made in a post to you on 11/21/01. The second sentence should read; As you say (so) often-NOT (to)often! :) I know you know what I was trying to say. :)

I hope Thanksgiving was peaceful. I pictured you lighting a candle for your precious son. God bless you always!
Verna

To All the newly grieving moms~I prayed that God would give you a special hug from your precious angel on Thanksgiving! I will continue to pray and ask God to give you relief on your valley days when you are feeling your pain and loss so much. God bless each of you always!
Verna

Shaner: Thank you so much for your kind words regarding Lydia and Thank you for starting this wonderful prayer circle. God works in very strange ways, I was looking for something to help me cope with the loss and I found your prayer circle, just browsing on the internet. I feel so much pain not just for losing Lyds but my heart aches for my sister, I don't like to see her in so much darkness.... she says to me that her little light has gone out and she doesn't know how to turn it back on. I passed these prayers onto her and I'm hoping that she will find the strength through them. Somedays are better than others but we both feel lost and reaching out to others that have lost a child seems to help. For me, sharing my thoughts with the Lord and people like yourself Sandy brings a little comfort to me. God Bless you and your family for being so compassionate at a time when you could have easily given up but instead you started this wonderful communication and you have helped so many others.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
p.s. Are you in Ontario because I lived in Toronto for 17 years before moving to the states. love Carol

moondancer~I've just finished reading your earlier post. I, too, am so sorry to read about your loss. My heartfelt prayers go out to you, your sister and her husband. I, too, know the pain one must endure as a result of losing a precious child. Your comments to Sandy are so very true; That is, she could have given up. Somewhere on these pages, I shared a poem that I wrote three months before my daughter was killed in what was said to be a chain reaction type wreck. The title of that poem is Chain Reaction. It is a perfect example of what God did for Sandy and what Sandy has done for so many moms who are grieving the loss of their children. We continue to thank God for her and this much needed prayer circle. Here, there is no doubt that your loved ones will be prayed for. As Sandy reminds us often, we must allow ourselves the time to express our indescribable grief. It sometimes take years to finally reach a point where one can reach out to others as they, too, grieve their own devestating loss. You are a blessing to your sister and her husband. I thank God for giving you the wisdom and the desire to seek help for both of them. I can tell you from experience that there are no words that can adequately describe the magnitude of the pain that they are feeling in their hearts. It will take lots of time, prayers, support from others and patience before the feeling of helplessness will go away. Right now, they must allow themselves to grieve. IAgain, I thank God for allowing you to be there for them. Just knowing that you are there will make their pain a little easier to bear. God's blessings goes out to all of you, and please know that all who post here will keep all of you in our prayers.
Verna

I would like to ask all to pray for my nephew and his wife. They both had a 7 year old daughter from previous marriages. Two weeks ago her daughter was killed in a horseback riding accident. It is hard on her, and especially when his daughter comes on visitation. Thank you and god Bless all!

Hello Carol - Moondancer54, I am SO happy that God led you to this Circle, perhaps through it you can help your sister and yourself as they and you begin the grieving process. Lydia, the 'little light' in your sister's life has gone out for her, but it shines brightly in Heaven, touching others and looking our for her beloved family, who are still here. A part of your sister and brother-in-law's heart is gone with Lydia, and you are such a blessing, being there for your sis and b-i-l! So many moms here coulld tell you stories of how they were 'left alone' to grieve, without much support from family members, so your beautiful niece Lydia has entrusted you to give your love and care to help her mom and dad out. You're a special aunt and a special sister and sister-in-law. They still speak to us from Heaven, sometimes quietly in your heart, and sometimes loudly, to make their presence known! Some days are better than others, but it takes a long time sometimes to come to an 'acceptance' in your life when you've lost a beloved child. And your sister's is so fresh, God love her, I pray and hope that these prayers and postings on these pages do help her in her grief and also in yours. That's one of the reasons I started this Circle, after losing Shane I was in a deep, dark pit, and I knew I wasn't the only one out there, so God whispered in my ear to start this Circle, to not only help me but to help others who were in my shoes so to speak, and also to honour the life of our son Shane. Now your family is honouring Lydia by Lydia's Legacy, which I think is wonderful, and very touching!
Sharing your thoughts, feelings, with others and with Our Lord is the way to let the pain out, for at the beginning it is all-consuming, and sometimes can be very debilliating. So this Circle is a safe haven, filled with love and understanding for all who have lost a child. Please tell your sister that we understand most of the things that she's feeling right now, every loss is unique, but the grieving of the loss of a child has many common denominators!
Thank you for your very kind remarks and prayers, but as I've said before, I'm just the vehicle, God does the rest. You and your family are now part of this Circle and will always be prayed for, and please, post back when you can.
YES, I live in Kingston, just 2 hrs. away from Toronto! Nice to meet a fellow Canadian, if you ever feel like it you can write me at sewhalen@yahoo.com
May God in His goodness and everlasting love cover your family during this most difficult time.
Luv Sandy

biddie, I am so sorry to hear of your nephew's loss of his sweet little daughter, so tragically in an accident. Yes, unfortunately, sometimes just seeing other children will create in us a 'bitterness' of sorts, just another of the things we work on throughout the grieving process. But this child needs to be embraced and loved, she must be in such confusion right now herself.
Your nephew and wife are definitely in our thoughts and prayers, and bless you for posting their loss here.
Luv Sandy

LOVE2U, Verna, I know what you meant, :), thanks for posting prayers for our moms here on these pages, I hope your Thanksgiving was alright for you, we Canadians celebrated ours in October, it was once again difficult, but we got through the day, thanks to Our Lord and all prayers!
Luv Sandy

I know the pain each of you are going thru. I lost both my sons .Kenneth was just 17 and my baby(as I called him)was just 20.I know they are together but the pain we all go thru each and everyday is so unbareable. It has been 8yrs for Kenneth and going on 3 for Kevin. Its never easy and I know it never gets better in time but I always look up to the sky knowing my two angels are watching over me.

pun82224, I'm so very sorry to read that you've lost two beloved boys, I can't even begin to imagine what losing two children is like, your heartache must be all-consuming. In sharing in our pain, we honour yours, the loss of one child is tremedous, but losing two is beyond words alone. Yes, they are together and still watching over their much loved mom and other loved ones, they're never far away, and I also look up to the Heavens and wonder what my Shane is doing, and give thanks for having him for his 24 years, but I miss him still and like you, I always will have a piece of me missing, but in your case, you have two. We now have our own special advocates in Heaven, our own special Angels, and I know we get some comfort from that. God bless you, and you'll be prayed for here.
Luv Sandy

Hello Pun82224 I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your boys. I can't imagine the pain of losing 2 children, I believe Sandy is right you now have 2 guardian angels watching over you. God Bless you and your loved ones who are coping with this unbelievable loss.

BIDDIE my thoughts and prayers are with your nephew and his wife, the daughter that is left must be very confused and in alot of pain right now, my other niece Melissa is devastated at the loss of her sister, I know that she is going through alot of pain, and also guilt, and as your nephews daughters were the same age they must have been very good friends having so much in common, God please watch over her and help her through this very painful time, she is so young to have to go through such a loss. Love to you all.

Shaner thank you for your words of comfort, I hope that I can help my sister too, but I feel so helpless right now, as you say there are no words to express the sadness I feel for her, Howard and Melissa, maybe the prayers of this circle will allow her to talk and grieve over Lydia because she needs to, her friends and other family members don't want to even bring up Lydias' name which is very very hard for her because as you said it is still very fresh. I was reading an article in the December issue of Readers Digest when I came across this poem?verse?

"Death is nothing at All"

I have only slpped away into the next room,
I am I, and you are you,
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, Without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.

What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
Somewhere very near, just round the corner.
All is well

Authour Henry Scott Holland:

Reading this was so comforting this is how I think of Lydia, she is waiting for us and we will have such a party when we see her again. She is not in anymore pain and is very happy just hanging around in the "next room" God is looking after her now and she is "Home"
Please help me cope with the loss that I feel. I feel so alone at times with my own grief, my sister is in England so I can't hold her and be with her to share in this pain. Thank you for this prayer circle.... God Bless you all who take the time to share and support.

Thank-You Shaner,Moondancer54. Its so nice to have someone to chat with who knows the pain. Your words mean so much. Having someone who understands what one goes thru is so very helpful during those very bad times. Thanks so much for just being you! God Bless You!

Hello Carol - Moondancer54, I'm so happy to see you posting back, and also helping other moms here also. I hope one day when your sister is ready, she'll post too, I cringe when I think and remember that first awful state you're in when you've just lost a beloved child.
You're a wonderful sister and sister-in-law, you're right there beside them as they grasp the enormity of their loss. Your sister and hubby are not alone, so many of us faced and still face a 'wall of silence' regarding any mention of our child's name, let along the life they lived and the impact it had on the parents and other loved ones. Some people falsely believe that not bringing up the name of the child you've lost will not bring up any pain or open it up anew, but they don't realize that we live with that pain everyday, and talking about it is the only way to release it. We have to tell our story, and hearing our child's name is joy to our ears. So bring up Lydia's name often, even if it does bring on tears, because her life has to be validated and she is still a member of the family, helping from above now, but still very much involed in our lives. As I've said before, love never dies, nothing can break that bond, not even death. Your sister and brother-in-law need a lot of support right now, sometimes just being there for them, not talking, and other times just listening to them as they pour out their all-consuming pain at this time. What a wonderful blessing you are to them, being there for them during this terrible time and now the journey they must take, the grief journey. They are going to need a lot of time to come to their own terms with this, the reality of the death itself doesn't set in until the second year. Just keep being there for her, as I know you will, I know you feel helpless, you're grieving the loss of your niece, and you can't take their pain away from them, they have to feel it and express it. The loss of a child turns your world as you once knew it upside down and forever changes you, but something good always comes out of the loss, and it will also in your sister's and brother-in-law's case, when they're ready.
I loved that poem, it's so true, I talk to my Shane just the way I would if he was physically here, and it's a comfort to me that he hears me and is just around the corner, as the poem says. God bless you Carol and Harold and Melissa are most definitely in our prayers.
Luv Sandy

Carol, Moondancer54, I just reread your post and my reply and I forgot to mention how hard it must be that Carol and Harold are in England right now, no wonder you feel helpless, you can't be right there beside them as they grieve. I truly hope they do have some sort of support system, and I would urge them when they're ready to join a support group if they are having to face this pain alone, that is to say, without the support of those who are around them. May God in His great love and goodness help Harold and Melissa and may He bless you also, you post here anytime you feel like it and we'll do our best to help you as you cope with the loss of your niece Lydia.
Luv Sandy

pun82224, I'm so happy that you found this Circle and it's helped you somewhat with your own losses, yes, only those who have travelled this road can really appreciate the pain of it all, and having a place to chat and reach out to others is a nice place to start! May God bless you also,
Luv Sandy

I lost my 27 year old son in 1998 from a drug overdose. I was very angry when he died, at him, at me and wondered, why?
I knew his heart, his spirituality, and his goodness.
He was the one his friends would lean on, confide in, depend on. He was naturally kind and compassionate with people, with animals. He had a deep love of Nature.
After he died, I went on but was very depressed and in much pain. After awhile, the pain left and little by little life is getting better.
I always believed God had a new plan for him. When I spoke to him last, he was going for a job interview and the last words I said to him were "Good Luck with your new job".
I understand the pain and loss of those of you who have suffered the loss of a child. May the Holy Spirit comfort you and bring you through. May your hearts be lifted up to a peaceful place.
God bless.

Hello MaryDandrea, I've just read your post, and I'm so very sorry to read about your wonderful son. Suicide raises it's own emotions, and one of them is anger, it's the helplessness we feel that we couldn't prevent it. But one never truly knows what's in another's heart, even if that heart belongs to one of our children, as other moms on these pages who have lost children to suicide will agree. I know that your son is now at peace, and his inner turmoil is over, some people are just too gentle for this world, I believe, and return home quicker. I know God has a great plan for your son, and he's now working on the other side, Heaven, and he's looking after you and your other loved ones. I'm happy to hear that your pain is not so great now, and you're able to carry on with your life, your post gives hope to other moms who are newly bereaved. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us all. I know your son is a good person, and he is now spreading that goodness for everyone in God's realm. Thank you for your prayers, and ours go out to you as well. May your heart also be lifted up to a peaceful place,
Luv Sandy