Prayer Circles

Hi dear Kim, if that's the way it helps you to cope right now, then it's good, you've found a way to make some sense out of it for now to give you some peace as you come up on Diana's 1st Anniversary and Julia's birthday, God love you.
I can't think of a nicer party to give yourself and create new memories for your Diana, :-). Isn't that wonderful and very special that she was given the Right to Life Award, God love her, that and all the special things and memory book will be in good hands with the Sisters! That's terrific as well that you stayed at the Convent overnight, you were able to mourn and grieve, pray and say good-bye for now to so many things that are very special to you, that take's a lot of courage and inner strength, I hope and pray you'll be able to return there every now and then.
That was so nice of you to think of and remember us here at the Convent, may He bless you mightily for that!
I love Henri J.M. Nouwen's books, I've read them all, including the one that the Sister gave to you - I know you'll find much solace and Christ speaking to you through him. Somewhere? in the back pages here, I posted a quote from him that's very appropriate for loss and how to be a friend to those who've experienced loss.
This week will probably be very difficult for you, leaving the house where so many memories were made, but you carry them with you in your heart and soul, ready to make new one's in Florida.
Love you too, AngelMom Kim, if you have time or just want or need to, post before you leave. If not, we understand and we'll still be here with open arms once you're settled in Florida.
Our love and prayers are with you too, remember, this is your Circle now - Circle of Love as our dear sister Selva call's it,
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi Selva, thanks for your encourageing words. I am very sorry about the lose of your only child. How hard it must be. My heart truly goes out to you. I have to say that I was lucky to have Elizabeth to hold on to when Amiee died. Had it not been for that I would of given up a long time ago. I've always said that God gave me two at the same time because he knew that I coul'nt handle losing one so he gave me two so I could make it through.She was the only reason I kept my sanity. You are right about my other children not being able to replace Amiee b-cause I wanted to fill the void so badly that I tried to get pregnant and had two miscarriages not long after Amiee died. God knew what he was doing. I did'nt understand then but I look back now and know that it was for the best.I pray that God will be with you and give you strength to face the days that you feel you can't make it through. We all have these days and it truly amazies me the love you women share for one another. My heart has been searching for this for 12 long years. Prasie God for sending me his Angles. I'll be praying for all mothers who have lost a child. May God bless all of you, in Jesus name Amen. Love to all, Jennifer Amieesmom

Hi my dear Angel Moms. Kim always remember that we are all here for one another, yes we understand that pain that no one else understands, I am sure that Diana has found all our Angel kids, they are all together, that I am sure, see, there are not coincidence, you came here to our Circle of Love , because our Angel kids are all together, I am sure that Diana is with Shane, Diana, Christie, Solange and so many others,they are all fine, and when God decides that we Angel moms will be together with them we are going to have a heck of a party in Heaven. Please keep coming back to this Circle of Love, we all understand. Love Selva

Hi again Sandy, I to just sat down and had a chance to reply to your e-mail. I work full time and my husband works two jobs, so thru the the week I am super busy until about 8:30 or 9:00pm. I am so glad God whispered in you ear to start this prayer circle. I see it also serves as a place to seek guidence and to make a friend in christ. I have few friends in Christ that I open my heart to/ In fact the truth is I don't have any right now . We are looking for a good church in our town. We just bought a house 4 monthes ago and we both grew up here but we've never went to any of the churches here. Pray that God will lead us to the church that he would have us attend for with out his guidence and hearing his word the devil will do his best to keep us from finding that church. I noticed in one of your posting from several months ago you said that you were not from this country. Where do you live? I also got the impression that Selva was from Cuba. WOW, It's wounderful what God can do, bringing all his children together from all over the world!!!!! Sandy you seem to be so knowldgeable and mature in the Lord. I am still what they call a baby in Christ. I have so much to learn and lots of growing to do. Pray for me and my family that God will have his way with us and keep us in his hands. My Love and Prayers going out to you and your family. Jennifer

Hi my dear sister Jennifer. Please be sure that all of you can count on our prayers, and together with you, I know that God listens to us (to tell you the truth I thinks He owes us) ha ha I am very honest, and that is the way I feel. Amiee is together with all our Angel kids, they know how we feel, and they know that one of these days we will be together for ever and ever, hang in there my sister, and whenever you feel like talking about it, we are all here to listen. Love Selva

Hi my Angel in Chief, yes here we go again, guess what? ther is another one coming our way, we will now by friday, but please all my dear sisters, pray for the people in Cuba , it was devastating, and on top of it all, there is no electricity in the island, so if there is another hurricane coming their way, they will never know. Sad isnt't it, that is what comunist can do for you. May God help my people. Love Selva

Selva, fom some of your postings I've gathered that you live in Flordia and you are from Cuba.I am just asking b-cause I'm trying to get to know some of you ladies. I was born in Tampa, Flordia but I know live in North Carolina.

Lord I came to you tonight and ask you to pour your blessings down apoun Cuba right now Lord! Wrap your mercetful arms around your people and keep them out of harms way. Lord we thank you for all you do for us everyday.Bless Selva and help keep her mind at peace. Bless each Angle mom as they go about their daily choirs, bless their family and loved ones and keep us all out of harms reach.In your name we ask all these things, Amen an Amen. THANK YOU LORD JESUS Jennifer

Hi my dear sister Jennifer. Yes I am a cuban american, I live in Miami after many years of wondering around, I came to this country in 1960, a little girl and alone, did not speak english, so I learned the hard way, but there are thousands and thousands of us who will share the same story, some people ask me, why don't you write a book, but my dear sister, there are many thousands who can write a book. Anyway, yes I do have family in the island who are going through hell, but Castro just said he does not want help from US or Europe, he does not need it, he is one of the richest people in the world (Forbe's magazine) but in the meantime, my family have nothing to eat or water to drink. I live in Miami, I lost my only child, Solange on Aug 15 2002 and I am devastated, we are all in this my dear sister, no matter where we come from, this pain has no country, no borders, I know that you are all my Angel's sisters and we feel the same pain, and guess what I love you all. Be sure of this. all of our Angel kids are together, just waiting for our time to come so we will be together again and this time FOREVER. Love you my sister, and you can count on all of us for prayers and love. Selva

Dear Angle Moms, I have a young friend of the age of 19 and he has not long ago found out that he has a tumor in his chest, and yes it is cancer. The doctors are hopeful!!! Tina and Ross are his parents and they have been friends of the family for a long time. I was praying for their son the other day and I feel like God layed it on my heart to bring this to you anglemoms. Prayer ia a powerful thing and if God can move mountians and open up a sea to let his people cross over away from the enimies, than God can heal this young man. Please keep this young man (Ross JR) in your prayer and I will keep you posted. Thank you for your love,support,and prayers. Amieesmom, Jennifer

Hi Dear Selva, Thank you for the history lesson. Hope you don't think I was being nosey. I just can't believe how the internet can bring so many people together. I was just hooked up about 2 months ago and I am still learning new things every day. Now I understand when I hear people say that the world would stop without the computer and people won't be shopping at stores one day because you can get anything you want on-line. I am sorry for how hard your journey was for you in America. I have many spanish friends (mostly from Costa Rica) and they come to me for advice for all kinds of reasons. I try to help them the best I can because I would want someone to do the same for me. I am white american and my husband is black.Over the years we have come across some prettymean people but I just say a little prayer for them that God will open their eyes and their hearts. You know, growing up my mom always taught me to love everyone. She never said love had a color, but that God made us all in His likness. I praise God that he gave me a open mind and a open heart.I will continue to pray for your people, that He will wrap his hands around Cuba and keep them safe.As for the book, pray about it. Yes everyone can write a book but if the lord lays it on your heart to do this there is a reason. You never know what your story could do to change one persons life. If you can just help one person with your story than would'nt a book be worth it? This could also be a way for you to grieve. Maybe your book could reach a woman new to Americia who is spanish and just lost a child. If she has no one to turn to or dosn't speak english, she comes across your book, and your story is what helps to make a difference in her life. I would say your story was worth it. Just something to think about. Pray about it. HONEY, DON'T MISS YOUR CALLING. Keep praying and Listen an God will give you a answear. All my love and prayers, Jennifer

Oh no, my dear sister, another headed your way by the weekend? Gosh, do you think it's going to be a repeat of last year? I pray not!! Some people in Florida are still reeling from Ivan last year, so much damage. Yes, you know I'll be praying for the Cuban people, keep them surrounded by God's Angels to keep them from harm.
Love you my dear sister,
Sandy

Hi dear Jennifer, happy to see a post from you! If you work all day and can't get online until late in the evening, I don't want you to feel any pressure that you have to post, but on the other hand it's so nice to see you here, :-).
You must be enjoying yourself with your PC and surfing around the net checking out all the different sites that interest you! Yes, the Internet has made the global family much smaller and brought people together who you would normally never meet, it's fantastic!
Yes, I'm Canadian, I live in the Province of Ontario, our city is located on the shores of Lake Ontario, so it's very beautiful at this time of the year.
Although the Circle is a multi-faith one, meaning all faith beliefs are honored here, the majority of us right now are all Christian of varying Denominations, so yes, you have some new friends in Christ! Of course sweetie, you're in my prayers that God will steer you to the right Church where you will both flourish and grow in your faith and spirit, as well as provide a Community where you'll meet good people. Put your faith, love and trust in God and soon you'll be mature in your faith, :-).
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Good news my dear sisters, Emily it going to spare us . Thank God and thank you for your prayers for my cubans fellows, they have so much to deal with, still no water, no electricity and to top of it that horrible tiran Castro, said "he refuses" to have aids from US and from Europe, OMG, those people have nothing to drink, eat,their houses are gone, and he says he does not needs aid, but that is how this gross monster deals our people. God knows what He will do with him.In the meantime, thanks Jeniffer for your prayers, yes like our Sister in Chief Sandy says, you will meet good people here, just like everyone who has lost a child, we all hurt, Yes maybe I will write a book one of this days, but in the meantime, remember we are all here for one another. Love you all my Angel sisters. Selva

My dear Angel in Chief. I miss your e mails, and so Miss V. where are you? I know my Chief that you are working hard and so I am, but don't you ever forget your cuban sister. Love you very much. Selva

Hi Sandy, I just got done writing to you. This took me 45min. to write and when I tried to send it for some reason it did'nt post. I'll try again another time it is to draining emotionally for me to rewrite it at this time. I was just rambling on and getting some things off my chest.Till next time, all my love and prayers to all, Jennifer

Aw my dear sister, me forget about you - never! I'll write you right now and I'm so happy to hear that Emily isn't going to wreak any havoc!
Lots of love & Hugs<
Sandy

Hi dear Jennifer,
ooohh, that's so frustrating when it happens - it's not your PC though, Beliefnet is experiencing some problems with their server and they have to delete some very old messages from their Discussion Boards so it will lighten the load on their server. I've had problems today myself.
Yes, please try again,
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi My Dear Sweet Sandy, I've been sitting here for the past couple of hours (I was off of work today) and I was reading through some of the past posting and I've learned so much.I now belive it was Gods will that my posting did'nt make it through.Not that what I was feeling and saying was'nt important but if you could of just read what I wrote last night you would understand. I will began like I did last night by telling you that your name Sandy is so sweet. For me it has such a wounderful meaning.You see, my x sister-in-law from my first marrage name was Sandy. She was such a sweet loving caring person. She went home to be with our Lord Jesus Christ and her baby son Ethan 9/14/2002. She died of a brain aneurysm just like you sweet Shane. I did'nt know until just awile ago when I reed it that that is how he died. This all seems so WAAAY out there for me. I was explaining to you all this last night and griving so hard for so many things that when I read this I was in total shock. Had to get up and walk away from the computer. Came close to turning it off. You see I've felt connected to you since I posted at this site and wanted to let you know how dear your name was to me. Sandy was my best friend, a sister and we shared my daughter. She was a 2nd mother to Elizabeth. Now she is gone. She is the one I confided in. Never mattered what time it was or how bad a day we were having we knew we could count on each other. Oh God, how I miss her. The worst part of it all is my daughter is the one who found her dead. My Lizzy, just 10 years old at the time found the women she looked to as a mother figure dead. The whole dang situation was devastating. Some times I get so angery. I know you all understand my pain and I'm not trying to make this about me only or use these things as a cruch, but first I loose my sweet Amiee, knowing when Lizzy gets older she will have questions,(and they have already started) then Lizzy deals with the fact that her real father wants noughting to do with her because he now has a little boy and she is a girl, and then Sandy dies. Her daddys brother was married to her so she could stay connected to his side of the family through her. Now she is gone and her Uncle is remarried to a lady (i know, alreasdy remarried and it's not been 3 years yet)that has no children and she does what she can to keep him away. I hurt for Amiee but I think I hurt worse for Lizzy. There is noughting I can do to take away her pain and I worry about her Sanity as well as mine. Christmas is the worst these past two years Amiee and Eliabeths b-day is 12-20-92 and Sandy always helped me to make a big deal over her birthday. It's not been the same for the past two years without her. Christmas has always been hard since Amiee died. I try to be strong for my family but it's hard. My hhusband trys to understand but he can't understand why I just simply freak out at christmas. I have ever since Amiee died and no matter how much I tell myself I am not going to do it ,it always happens. Starts after Thanksgiving and last until christmas day is over. I always am worried I am not getting Lizzy enough for her b-day or christmas. I know I'm just trying to fill the void I have and make up to her for what shes lost but I can't stop.Sandy, I don't even know if I can put onto words how I was feeling this afternoon reading through all these letters.PURE SHOCK. The worst is yet to come,I know I will have to explain to Lizzy how her sister died and that won't bee easy, you see the babysitter killed her . Oh, LOrd this is to much for me right now. Ineed to go out side or do something. I'm sorry I just start getting overwhelmed when I talk about this and I start getting sick on my stomach and shacking uncontrollably. Need to go and calm myself. Pray for me. LOVE YOU ALL, Jennifer

Dear Jennifer, Thank you so much for taking the time to visit my daughter's memorial site and for signing the Guestbook, and reading my healing poetry. I call it that because it helped to ease some of my intense grief over the loss of my daughter and also a couple of very dear friends.

I spent an hour or so trying to catch up on reading back posts here at our circle of love earlier this evening; [taking a break every now and then] ... and for some reason, I couldn't get you and the loss of your precious Amiee off my mind. I prayed for you immediately, because I felt your intense pain in your posts; especially the last one.

After catching up on reading back posts, and still not feeling well enough to post, I decided to check my email and saw one from Bravenet informing me that someone had signed my Guestbook. I am so glad that you enjoyed reading the poems and I pray that they somehow helped the healing of your own shattered heart. For as we all know all to well ... there is no greater loss than the loss of a precious and beloved child. And, we don't get over it; we eventually learn how to live with our grief. Our Sandy says it so well; "Eventually, ... The sadness settles in."

It was such a relief for me to discover that I was not alone in what I was feeling. This started me to believing that if other moms had learned how to live with their indescribable grief and sadness, then I could at least try to do the same. So far, it's working. Yes, I still have my valley periods, but it's not like in the beginning when I was trying to deal with it all on my own.

I have not been online lately due to the death of my niece; which I posted about a few days ago. When faced with the sudden and unexpected loss of a close friend or family member, it takes me a while for the reality to set in. Sometimes, I regroup slowly; especially when I'm out of my meds! :)

Fortunately, I got my refill finally. My doctor prescribed Zoloft and so far, it seems to help me through the valley days, or special days, which are always difficult for all of us. Again, I just thank God for the love and support I've received here since joining.

My heart goes out to you in your loss, and I will keep you and family in my heartfelt prayers. Keep trusting in God, Jennifer; for He is the only one that can send you the kind of peace that passes all understanding.

Thank you also for praying for all angel moms. God brought us together for a reason. Like you, I wish I'd had the kind of love, compassion, and support [during the early stages of my grieving] that I received when I found this circle of love. Our Sandy is the best and I, too, thank God for whispering in her ear to start this circle as a love tribute to her beloved Shane; and a life saver to many of us. I know it was God that led me here, and I continue to thank Him for doing so.

As both Sandy and Selva have pointed out; there is never any judging ... no matter what you are feeling, you can always feel free to express yourself. Sometimes the depth of what we are feeling may be just the thing some angel mom needs to hear to convince her that she is not alone in what she is feeling.

It took me a long, long time to even believe that anyone could feel the kind of grief I was feeling and go on living! Then, God sent me here; and the real healing began to take place. And, for that, I will be forever grateful!

I've added your email address to my address book; so feel free to email me anytime. :)

God's peace and blessings,

Verna
Diane's Mom
8/16/60 ~ 8/31/96

Hello my dear sisters,:) ~ Yes, I have been down in deep valley time; but I know you understand. I will try to get caught up on posting to everyone soon. My heart still aches for my dear sister in the loss of her daughter. We live so far apart. Thank you all for the heartfelt prayers. Please keep my dear sister & family in your prayers.
Love to All,
Verna

Take your time needed to grieve, dear Miss V, and you know that you're always in our love and prayers, as well as your dear sister and family,
Lots of love & Hugs,
Sandy

Hello my dear sister, friend Marci.
My love, thoughts and prayers are with you always, but especially today on your precious Sean Michael's Birthday.
My Candle will be lit to honour the bright light of his spirit and his and your eternal love for each other.
I'm so, so sorry my dear sister that I failed to post on Sean's Anniversary, please forgive me, you know I'd never do that intentionally! Be easy on yourself today, let the tears come and know you're never alone.
Happy Birthday Sean Michael!
Lots of love, prayers and Hugs,
Sandy

My dearest Angelsisters,
Heavenly Father we come before you on bended knee, asking you that you might send your holy spirit to bless and care for all angelmoms. I pray Lord that you will hear our mournful muttering as prayer and will bless us with your everlasting love.

Sandy, Thank you so much for remembering by beloved Sean-Michael’s birthday. I really don’t do “holidays” very well anymore. I put on that “mask” and pretend all is well, but we all know that it is not. My hurt is broken.

Sean-Michael would be 20 years old today. My hubby and I have both talked about this lately. Wondering what he would have looked like as he grew deeper into manhood. He would have done well in anything he chose to do. He was a strong and very conscientious young man with powerful love for the Lord. He believed in “Acting with Impact”. His life was his witness and many have told us what an impact that he had made in their lives. I miss him so. Happy Birthday, Seany-boy your mommy loves you…

Miss V,
Please know that my heart, my prayers, my soul is with you. Please let your sister and her family know that we are all praying for them. You already know that when we can’t pray for ourselves someone here is praying for us! Remember your posting about that old Negro Spiritual “I just Steal Away To Jesus”? I think it’s time for you to start singing again and maybe I can join in with you. You’ll have to share more hymns with us all! As a child growing up I used to think that all those “Old Church” songs were boring and not productive. Today I know that God hears our praises and sees our hearts through His songs. What a wonderful way to bring peace to our hearts but through praise.

Selva, I am so glad you are safe! Please take care of yourself and your Angel garden for Solange. My hubby and I WERE going to go on a cruise to Puerto Rico leaving out of Miami (I told him we have to see you!) however, I think we’ll wait until hurricane season ends!

Angelmoms, Greetings to all new and not so new. Please know that we all pray for you whether or not we post our prayers. Our hearts and prayers are with you.


My dear, dear, sister Sandy,
You have not missed the anniversary date. Sean-Michael was born July 15, 1985 and went to Heaven August 09, 2003. His memorial service was held August 15th exactly one month after his 18th birthday. I think that is why the 15th has such an impact on me. I know Solange’s anniversary is coming soon too August 15th and your beloved Shane’s was on the 15th too.

With much love and prayers to all,
Marci~.~
Sean-Michael >i<
7-15-85 / 8-9-03