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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.

6/13/2005 16:48

Dear Lord, please help all parents who have lost a child. Help to comfort their heart as only you can. Please help them keep their love alive for their lost child and to keep going as that's what their child would want. Please comfort their pain and ease their worries and anguish. Amen

6/14/2005 06:54

Hello dear lucy, I'm so sorry that you too have lost a child. The pain and grief is unbearable at times, isn't it. But yes, you will see your beloved Zack again one day and never have to part again, hold tightly onto your faith. Please post here whenever you wish to, we're all here to support and pray for each other,
Love & Angel Hugs,

6/14/2005 06:57

Hi Jessie Lin, this is so sweet of you to come and post here, we truly appreciate it when others take the time to do so, God bless you!
May our beloved Saviour give you the desires of your heart,
Love & Angel Hugs,

6/14/2005 23:18


Hi Everyone! :) Problems with online service still exists in our area. This is the first time I've been able to get on in weeks! Hope all is well with everyone. I have no idea if Time Warner Cable has fixed the problem, but I sure hope so. I'll try to post later after I get caught up on reading. I have no idea when I might get cut off like I did the last time I tried to post one of my ramblers! Haha! A warm welcome to our new members. :) As always, you're all in my thoughts and prayers.

Love & Angel Hugs,
[Miss V.]

6/15/2005 08:24

Well there you are, dear Miss V! Selva, Cindy and I can call off the Search party, ha, ha. We were all wondering what had happened to you, it's been a while! So it's still problems with the Cable - they've probably got many, many people complaining!!
Happy you're OK and back, :-)
Lots of lvoe & Angel Hugs,

6/18/2005 06:29

I read all your letters everyone so different but yet the same. I too lost a child she was stillborn and had no arms or legs, I had her in my toilet, this was in 1966 I was at least 5 months for them to know what sex she was back then.At the time I had 3 other children ages 5, 3 and 7 months. I do believe the Lord had his reasons. His will was done. I have since lost two boys but in a different way, in 1999, my Daughters ex deceided he wanted his Sons, I had custody of them but he after not even trying to see them for over 7 years deceided to take me to court he won and took my boys out of state to live with him & his wife, they are mean to them,they were 10 & 11 when he took them they are 16 & 17 now, the 17 year old is coming home in December when he is 18. He is a Christian, Praise the Lord. My Daughter has straighened up her life. We sure do need your prayers. We go see my boys every September. Taking my Grandsons from me was like taking my own sons from me.It took me a long time to heal, I`m not all the way healed yet. My health also got bad after I lost my boys. Please hold us in your prayers. We love you Jesus. I don`t understand it but I guess it was God`s will. God bless us all.

6/18/2005 20:12

Hello prayerbunny and welcome to the Circle!
I'm sorry you had a miscarriage, but one day you'll see your sweet little daughter again, whole and happy. Imagine, that happened in l966, but you still hold her in your heart, we never forget, do we.
That had to be very painful when your grandchildren were taken from you, God love you. You raised them as your own for 7 years and then lost them, must have broken your heart. The good part though, the part to look forward to, is that once they come of age, they'll come back to you and you'll once again be re-united! They know how much you love them and I'm so happy for you that your daughter is on the good road too!
It's hard for us to understand why these things happen, as the book says, bad things do happen to good people.
Be assured of my prayers for you and your family and please post here whenever you wish to, it helps to talk sometimes,
Love & Angel Hugs,

6/19/2005 09:34

On May 10th of this year I lost my precious son. He was 45 years old but age knows no barrier when a mother looses a child. He was a wonderful son, husband and father. Our loss has stopped life from moving forward and I don't know if it will ever go forwad again. I just know the pain is so deep and hurts so bad. I still pray but its as if God is not ready to lift the pain I feel. I will never stop missing him, I can see his wonderful smile and I want so much to talk to him just one more time. It is a pain I will never get over. I watched him take his last breath and in my mind I see that over and over.I did not think there were as many tears as I have shed in the world. And when I think I have cried all that is left in me, another flood comes up. Today is Father's Day and what a sad one it will be. Mother's Day was spent in Intensive Care Waiting and visiting our son as often as we could. I probably told him a dozen times that I loved him. He was too weak to answer. Thank God the day before he had said "I love you too, Mom". Do you know how precious those words are to me. I knew he loved me but hearing them means the world to me and I thank God every day for letting me hear them. I miss him so much. My heart goes out to each of you who have lost children no matter what their age be, its all the same. You gave birth to that child and that bond can never be broken. Pray for me that some of the anger and bitterness I feel will go away. I know my Jeff would not want me to feel this way but right now I can't seem to help how I feel. The pain is too great still and I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Please pray that God will help me get through this. I know I will always love him and miss him and I know that life will never be the same without him. I can see their house from mine and it is a constant reminder of how proud he was to have had his Dad help him with alot of the bhilding. He was so proud to give his family a beautiful new home. It is not a hugh mansion but to them it was home and now he can't share it with them. Their greif is so hard. His daughter is 16 and his son is 13. His wife is a wonderful daughter to have. We just miss our Jeff. Please pray for us in our darkest hours. I know you can't bring him back but pray that we can somehow except what has happened. Pneumonia and kidney failure is so unexpected. Even had it been expected, we would not have been ready. Please ask God to help all of us.

6/19/2005 21:31

Hello dear Pat, what a sad and painful post, everyone reading it here can empathize and know what you're going through. It feels as though your heart has been laid raw, part of it now gone with your child and the remainder pierced with a sword. In the beginning, you're in 24/7 pain, a pain you've never experienced before and pray you'll never experience again. I don't want to discourage you, but sweetie, you're going to feel this way for a while, it's only been a month since your son passed on! You're hurting so badly right now because it's just happened, everything surrounding his passing is so fresh in your mind and heart and you're still in the shock and numbness, even denial sometimes, of what's happened. You have to walk through the fire right now, as hard and tough as it is, you loved your precious Jeff so much and it isn't that God wants you to suffer, He's still there for you and always will be, He alone knows how much your heart has been broken because of your love for your son.
There's much more I want to say to you but I have to get offline now, but please know that you're enveloped in love, support, acceptance and prayer here, all of us know of the great pain you're in,
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,

6/20/2005 03:24

I lost my only daughter, my oldest child, Diana Christine, July 25th, 2004. She had a baby 8 days before. We adopted her baby, Julia Belle. I have a hard time. I want to be with my daughter more than I want to be on earth. It is an hourly struggle. Her baby is miraculous but I am completely lost without my 25 yr old daughter. She was my heart. Too often I wish the Lord would let me go to be with my daughter. I have a husband and young sons, but I am so tired and so constantly sad. I have many friends who have also lost adult children. We have all lost in this loss, our baby, our child, our adult friend, and the one who will lead us into old age. God help us. Kim in Oregon

6/20/2005 03:30

To PatPruitt, Your letter came right before mine and I felt so much the love and loss in your words. I prayed for you. Your words reminded me how we hope to have our chidren hold our hands into old age and be with us at the hour of our crossing. When that is taken from us, it is another loss for us. God comfort you. kim

6/20/2005 20:32

Hi dear Kim, welcome to the Circle too.
I'm so sorry also to read that you lost your precious daughter Diana, last July.
It hasn't even been a year for you yet, although you've probably gone through some 'firsts' - first Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays, and they are oh so painful in that first year. Just a very sad reminder that your life as you once knew it is no more, it's forever changed by the loss of Diana.
Every night for the first year or so I'd lay awake in the darkness and beg God to take me home too, I didn't want to live without my Shane. I wanted to be with him, I couldn't stand the pain of separation. Many other Moms will tell you the same, it's natural to feel that way. There is nothing more painful in this world for a parent than to lose a child, flesh of our flesh, blood of our blood, that as Pat above has said, we carried for nine months underneath our heart. Grieving is very hard on us, not only emotionally but physicaly too. So please take care of yourself and let the tears come, never hold them in.
Your daughter left you such a wonderful gift, her own daughter, a big part of her, and I know she's going to be there helping you with little Julia Belle - what a sweet name, :-).
That's wonderful that you have many friends around you for support, we surely need it, I attended a Support Group for the first two years and also started this Circle that God whispered in my ear to do. This is a very safe place to come to, your feelings will always be honoured and never judged, you can rant or rave here, let it all out, believe me, we all have, and receive support, understand and love and prayers in return. So please, post here whenever you want, just as I told Pat, it's easier to journey down the road when you have company along the way,
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,

6/21/2005 01:52

Dear Sandy,
Thank you for confirming what I already felt, that those of us who have lost a child pray often to go to heaven to be with our child. No one understands and they think the most awful things...things that are not a part of our grief. Thank you again for your letter. I am sending 2 friends this way, all 3 of us lost our young adult children this year.
God bless, kim

6/21/2005 02:11

This letter is to Pat, you may not understand my reason in writing, it`s just to vent I guess, but when I saw the date your son died it really got me cause my Husband died May 10, 1980, we only had 3 years together before Jesus took him home, but they were happy years and after 14 years the Lord provided me another good Husband, we have been married for 12 years. My prayers are with you it does get better every day. God Bless You.

6/21/2005 02:23

Thank you Shaner, Sandy, for welcoming me to your circle and your prayers, today I really needed everyones prayers it was my Grandson`s 16 birthday and I called to wish him Happy Birthday and all I got was the answering machine, and I know it was on purpose, well I will see them both in September. I raised those boys all their lives until they were 10 & 11 years old, I guess I still have alot of bitterness. My prayers are for everybody, and I need prayer too. God Bless everybody. It`s 11:30 PM here time for bed. Goodnight.

6/21/2005 20:58

Hi dear Kim,
No, nobody else could possibly relate to how we're feeling and the things that we think about, all the different feelings and emotions that the loss of a child brings up, except another Mom who's going through it, it's just impossible for others to comprehend and that's OK, I don't expect them to.
Look forward to meeting your friends and don't forget, you yourself are always welcome here, this isn't just my Circle, it's for everyone, I just started it, :-)
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,

6/21/2005 21:04

The same is true for you too, dear Phyllis, this is your Circle as well.
That's too bad you couldn't speak with your Grandson on his birthday, keep holding and pressing on, one day you WILL be able to see and hold him and talk to him again! You're covered in prayer, Phyllis,
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,

6/22/2005 14:42

Hi Lucylou, Phyllis, Pat, Kim and all new Angel moms. I am sorry that we have to meet this way, but you chose the right place to let out your pain, this Circle of love has helped me a lot, I also lost my only child, she was only 20 years old, Solange moved to Heaven Aug 15, 2002. The pain will never go away, just the anger and the why's. You will find lots of love, understanding and prayers, no judgement here. I have gone through the suicidal stage now, but i was there for a long time, now all I do is ask God for Strenght, so I can continue until He sends for me, and then I will be with my Solange forever. I am sure our Angel kids knows this, and are happy to know that we will wait for His call. Please keep posting here, and again, Welcome to the Circle of Love. Much love and prayers. Selva

6/23/2005 13:52

My dearest Angelsisters,

It’s been a while since my last “check-in”. Please know that it is not due to lack of desire but more from lack of time.

Our home life has been absolute chaos. After six years of college our oldest son Matthew has graduated. As the Dean of the University spoke of students who were graduating with overwhelming adversity and hardship, those around us who were all too familiar with the heartbreaking losses our family has suffered these past two years. We could not help but think of Matthew’s amazing determination, perseverance and tenacity in fulfilling his graduation requirements. As I watched him walk in the procession of graduates my heart ached a little knowing that I would never see my beloved Sean-Michael make that same walk. A small voice came to me and said “It is okay mom, I am here with you all today, and I am always with you.”

I know that Sean-Michael is proud of his big brother’s achievements, as he was of all of our successes in life whether big or small. He was everyone’s cheerleader, always rooting you on to higher goals!

My loving husband wanted to honor Matthew with a surprise graduation party. We all know what that means…guess who’s really hosting the party! The one who does the shopping, the cleaning, and the organizing! Uh huh, yep, MOM! A little over eighty people joined us for the festivities with Matthew totally oblivious up until he drove down our street and recognized several cars of friends and family!

I will share with you that the last time we have had any kind of celebration or get together was during the time of Sean-Michael’s passing. Many families from our swim team just took over all the arrangements and made sure that there was always plenty of food and that my house was always clean. There were at least 50-100 people who came by on a daily basis. There were times when we couldn’t see anyone we stayed upstairs and let everyone else take care of it. It was so closed to Sean-Michael’s 18th birthday we had been planning a “Birthday Luau” for him; he always wanted to roast a pig in a pit in the ground!

Matthew’s graduation party was a reminder of that last “get together.” Several times throughout the whole “party-process” I had to hold back the tears deciding that nothing was going to put a damper on Matthew’s celebration...

6/23/2005 13:53

My son, Matthew has a group of friends from High School who have kept in touch all throughout the years (he graduated 1999!). They have all gone on to different Universities but have somehow managed to stay close friends. It was last summer that a group of them got together for one of their many spontaneous summer barbeques that ended in a horrifying tragedy for all involved…
Reed, Jeff and Matt Meyers (not my son Matthew) took a test drive in a friends new Lexus. They went thru a stop sign at a high rate of speed; without warning the pavement ended and when the car hit the dirt it rolled several times. It took several hours for anyone to find them. We received a call from our son Matthew telling us that there had been an accident and they can’t find them. A repeat of our own son Sean-Michaels accident…lost in the desert! The accident happened around 3:00 am, they woke Matthew at 5:30 am, he called us and we started searching driving up and down every known road through out the area. Two hours later one of the boys received a call from Reed, despite his major injuries he was able to crawl out of the car and find a street sign. We were the first to arrive on the scene. We notified the authorities who were searching 50 miles in the opposite direction due to trace the 911 call placed from the scene.

At the scene my husband lifted the car, releasing the car door and he and my son Matthew pulled Matt Meyer from the overturned wreck. My daughter Kristi began CPR. The emergency crews finally arrived but nothing could save Matt. After being suspended upside down for several hours, his heart just stopped, he had no other major injuries. Jeff, the other passenger was semi-conscious at the scene sustained major injuries as did Reed, who had a punctured lung and broken collarbone when he crawled out of the vehicle and walked several yards to find out where they were. I watched all of this from my SUV, unable to go any closer to the vehicle. It had only been less than a year that my own son, Sean-Michael had gotten lost in the desert; his SUV got stuck in a ditch and rolled on top of him crushing him. Alcohol was not involved. Being a serious athlete, Sean-Michael had never even drunk soda; he was a water, juice or milk man!

6/23/2005 13:54

… continued
Matthew’s friends (ages 21 and up) had a few beers at the barbeque but they were all way under the legal limit. Reed was tested at the scene and later at the hospital. Our local district attorney decided to make an issue out of this and criminal charges against Reed the driver were filed. Reed and Matt had not only been friends through out high school, but had attended schools together since kindergarten. Matt’s family (a very much loved only child) did not want another family to lose a son. Reed’s younger brother had passed away 3 years earlier.

The verdict was recently passed. It is my understanding that a plea bargain was offered. A local paper stated the following: [“A young xxxxx man accused of causing the crash that killed his best friend was sentenced Friday to 90 days in jail and ordered to talk to high school students about the dangers of drinking and driving. Reed Gacho, 23, was sentenced after pleading guilty to one count of gross vehicular manslaughter. He also was placed on five years' formal probation and ordered to perform 170 days of community service. "The victim's family did not want him to go to prison," said Jane Robison, spokeswoman for the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office. "The family said they didn't want to ruin another life." Matthew Meyer, 22, of xxxxxx died July 11, 2004, while trapped in wreckage after an early-morning crash on a dirt road in the desert east of Lancaster. Another young man was injured. ]

Reed has graduated from Cal Poly SLO with a degree in civil engineering with honors.
Matt Meyer had just graduated and was to enter into Law school that fall. He was working part-time for my husband’s construction company. Geoff plans to continue his education this fall after taking time off. Also graduating is another of the buddies Brian - not in the accident, but a close friend. He has graduated from UCSB with degree in computer science and philosophy.

It has been a bittersweet time for all.

With much love and prayers to all,

6/23/2005 14:15

Just a quick note after my long as Miss V would say "rambler"...

I want to welcome the newest angelmoms to our circle of love. Our Sandy has a way of welcoming us all with her own special gift of heartfelt love, genuine kindness and remarkable compassion. She continues to bless us all.

My dear Angelsisters, Sandy, Selva, Susan and Verna…

You are in my thoughts, my prayers and in my heart always. I don’t think I could have made it through these past two years without your prayers and support. Even though not all postings have been directed to me specifically, your words and prayers have calmed my spirit. I am here, because you are here.

God Bless you all.

I love you my dear sisters.

With much love and utmost gratitude,

Sandy has

6/24/2005 09:12

Our dear sister Marci. It is great to hear from you, I can see that you are going through rough times, yes my dear sister you know that our prayers and love are always with you, and yes, I also Thank God for our dear Angel in Chief Sandy, I could not have made it without this Circle of Love.So sad about those young boys, I can just imagine what those parents are going through also. Solange's boyfriend was involved in an accident about a year before she moved to Heaven, he was driving and two of his best friends were in the car, one of them was paralyzed from the neck down, the other had brain injuries that left him impaired, Dan had broken ribs and collar bone and the worse was he still blames himself for his friends, he has not been the same ever since, he also was charged with the accident and after a long time dealing with lawyers and all, he got 1 year probation and community services, his parents have gone through a lot also. It is a shame my dear sister. Please come back more often, we need you too. My love and prayers. Selva

6/25/2005 00:27

Dear Sandy, Marci, Selva, Thank you for your welcome. Thank you for your prayers. Please remember our family as we come up on the first anniversary July 25th. The entire week from July 17th until the 25th is a long anniversary. Diana's baby, Julia Belle was born on July 17th, my birthday is the 19th and Diana was born into heaven just 8 days after her baby's birth on July 25th. The week of our first anniversary we are moving our family to Ocala Florida to be closer to my family and fulfill my daughter's wishes to raise her baby in Florida. My husband is leaving his longtime job at Intel (19 yrs) to do this. We still have 2 school age children at home and 2 in college. Please pray for our move, work for my husband and a home that we all agree will work for our large family.
To those who have read my original post, I am doing better this week. I never know why I do better or worse, it just happens that way, though I am sure there are reasons.
God bless you and ease your burdens,
Kim Sandstrom Hillsboro, Oregon soon to be Ocala, Florida

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