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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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selvam
4/23/2005 21:06

Hi my dear dear sisters. Yes we are still here, sorry about the pain, guess what I am having a touch of Carpal Tunnel, I have to put one of those things in my wrist to keep it still, too much computer for me. I wish I could just buy a thing for my heart ache, but no way, God its the only one who can provide that for me and I hope He does it soon.Love you my dear sisters. Selva


LOVE2U
4/25/2005 22:59

Hi dear Sandy! Gee, it's good to see a post from you! You know we missed you! Our dear sister let us know that you were having a few problems, so I knew you would post once you were better. You should still take it easy, however.

I am still having problems with carpal tunnel pain in my right wrist, so I've not been able to post often either. Hopefully, it will be better soon. I just wanted to drop in and let everyone know that I'm doing OK.

My dear sister, Selva, I am storming heaven with prayer for you. Remember, you are still very much in the early stages of missing your beautiful Solange. It will just take time and of course our prayers will help. I tried to IM you earlier, but you were not online. I will try again later. But do not respond until the carpal tunnel is better.

Angel moms/dads/friends, ~ Let's keep praying for one another. There is power in prayer! Don't forget to check in to let us know you're OK.

Love & Hugs,
[Miss V.]
Verna

Your Guardian Angels fuse their power with yours to facilitate the creation of just the miracle you need for the greatest good of all concerned.

- Belinda Womack,
“Angels Guide”

From "Angels Around Us." Compiled by Karen Maguire. Reprinted by arrangement with Andrews McMeel Publishing.


LOVE2U
4/25/2005 23:08

OMG Sandy! How exciting about your precious Selena's big win! I can imagine how exciting this is for her and the entire family! I know you can hardly wait to see your precious niece, as well as your Sis and the rest of the family and the Dream Home! Talk about a dream come true! Be sure to give your precious Selena a very, very big hug from Miss V. and the other angel moms/dads!

Much love,
[Miss V.]
Verna




beachmom45
4/26/2005 01:56

My dear angelsisters,
I am so sorry that I have not posted in quite some time. I have had a few extreme "valley days" and of course we all can get caught up with the business of life.

For the record - I have had Carpal tunnel for over 25 years...I am a artsy person (I taught painting lessons for many years) and of course being a somewhat type A personality doesn't help. My hands are always busy!
10 years ago I had endoscopic surgery on my right hand. Best thing I ever did. I still have carpal tunnel in my left hand, but we don't have medical insurance and I can always find more useful ways to spend our cash! (two in college and lots of food!) I would have the surgery in a heartbeat! I have tried every "cure" reccomended; nothing really helps long term. I've had the nerve conduction tests where they stick needles up and down your arms and zap you with electricity! It showed that I have permanent nerve damage in my left hand as a result of years of pressure. For some reason women are more at risk for carpal tunnel than men. I personally feel that it is "hormonal" related! Women retain water and swell due to hormone vardiances, men do not!

Any way, Just wanted to say that I miss you all and will always keep checkin' in. Sandy have a wonderful time with Chris.

With much love and prayers to all,
Marci~.~


selvam
4/26/2005 14:27

Hi my dear sister Marci. It is great to hear from you. Having Valley days is part of our lifes, but always remember we are all together on this, we understand, and most of all we all pray for one another. I am sure that God listens. Love you always.Selva. Hi my dear Ms. V, I have been trying to work in the yard lately, just trying to do some excercise and in the meantine cleaning the leaves so when the old man that does the grass etc comes he won't have so many leaves laying around, he is in his late 70's but refuses to quit working. I am still having valley days and I think it is getting worse just in anticipation of mother's day. Hi my Angel in chief,how are you feeling? I will pray hard so that pain will go away. I imagine Selena in her new house. she most be so happy. It is great that you can go an visit them. i am back to work now, i will catch up later. Love to all. SElVA


selvam
5/2/2005 19:07

Hi my dear Angel sisters. Just wanted to let you know that I am having valley days, yeap, Valley days, I think in phycology it is called "anticipation for an aniversay or something like that. I am anticipating Mother's Day, I imagine we all are, I have no other children, but I think even if you do, there is an empty space there, so as usual, I am talking about it. I just don't like that day anymore, my mother left 5 years ago and my only daughter also left, but guess what? I am still a mother and a daughter, I just don't celebrate it anymore. They just moved , but they are still our children, and our mothers. Love Selva


shaner
5/4/2005 09:54

Hello dear sisters, friends, yes, I had a wonderful time in Ottawa, visiting with Chris and getting him moved - well, actually he and his Dad did the moving :-) and then visiting with my sis, bro-in-law and my little Selena - she's such a sweetie, and yes, I guess I am biased, :-). She get's her house this week, they delivered it, but it was too big to get through their fencing, so they have to take it down first - so she's very excited about it!

Yes my dear sisters, Mothers Day this Sunday, another very difficult day to get through, it's centered solely on we Moms - and our Moms if they're still with us. My Mother's Anniversary of her passing is May 7th, the day before Mother's Day, so it really hit's home on 2 different levels.

You're so right my dear sister, the days leading up to any Holiday are the worst, the anticipation, anxiety that go along with them.

And a resounding YES, we are still Moms, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!
Chris won't be able to come up for Mothers Day, so I can treat it like any other day and hopefully not dwell too much on what the day is, what it used to mean to me.

I don't know how any of you handle this question when asked, but if someone say's to me "how many children do you have?" I always answer 2, one in Heaven and one here with me. I don't say it to make people feel uncomfortable, but I would and could not ever deny Shane as still being my child.
How do all of you answer that question?

Marci! Great to see a Post from you, you're missed when you don't post, I know we all lead busy lives and some days the pain and grief are overwhelming, but at least we can talk here at this Circle of Love.

Lots of love, prayers & Angel Hugs to all,
Sandy


Shaner
5/5/2005 07:24

Dear Mr. Hallmark,

I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard.

There must be some mistake I thought, every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.
She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she’s cried.

I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know
That though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?

My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night
She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well.

So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth
She needs to be honored, and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.

Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you’ll do your best
I have done all I can do; to you I’ll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.

Author Unknown


dovesfromheaven
5/6/2005 11:07

Good Morning Sandy & all other Angel Moms, Verna, Selva,
~~~Thank you for asking about me, I haven't read for awhile but checked in a few days ago and saw your little note to me. I'm doing ok, it's been a very difficult time for me with the passing of my beloved husband Gary 3 months ago now. I miss him very much and it's so hard for me to go on without him. The grief is somewhat similar all though their are many more aspects to this kind of loss. I have been very depressed. My church family have been very supportive along with my children and little grandcuties!
~~~Speaking of grandcuties, I have another announcement to make, as of last Friday, April 29th at 9:07 a.m., my daughter Sarah gave birth to her second child, a son, MICAH JOSEPH, weighing in at 7lb 8oz and 20" long. He's awesome and he is welcomed by his big sister Ruthie who loves him very much. It was a bittersweet time for my daughter and me.
~~~I think about all of you often. I know the pain you feel, but most of all Jesus knows your pain, for He suffered immensely for us, so we need to look to Him for our source of comfort and peace not to the world. He loves you all and desires you to come to Him with your pain. God Bless you all and you are in my prayers!
Love in Jesus,
Yvonne<><
Mom of JOSEPH 3-7-75~11-20-99
Wife of GARY 6-4-50~1-23-05


dovesfromheaven
5/6/2005 11:25

Something for Every Angel MOM,

DANCING WITH GOD

~~~When I meditated on the word GUIDANCE, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God's will is alot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
~~~My eyes drew back to the word GUIDANCE. When I saw "G" I thought of GOD, followed by "u" and "i" "dance". God, you and I dance. As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life. Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

~~~My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday. May you abide in God as God abides in you. Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life.

Someone sent this to me in an e-mail and it really spoke to me and I wanted to share it with all of you here.

God Loves Each One of You!

Love, Yvonne<><


ALEXZNANGEL
5/7/2005 23:46

Dearest AngelMoms,
Hello to all of the precious moms. It's been a while since I have posted. I've been up, I've been down; but through it all, you are always in my prayers.
Tomorrow will be a hard day for all of us. Tomorrow is also the 2 year anniversary of my sweet Alex's angel flight to Heaven. I miss him so much. I know he would be so proud of the way his "Momma" has changed her life. I have had a few difficulties after my surgery in Oct. The good news is I have lost 80 lbs and I have the energy of a 2 year old. I've taken up gardening again and it is so relaxing to play in the dirt. I have planted 4 flowerbeds with angel statues, angel windchimes and wooden angel figures. They are so beautiful and I dedicate them all to Alex. I am also raising chickens again; another place I can sit and relax and watch God's creatures. I quit smoking after 30 years (nothing like having a collapsed lung to convince a person to quit) and I haven't had a craving for tobacco since Oct 04. It really is His "GUIDANCE" that helps me through it. I loved that post; I'm forwarding it to everyone I know. All I have left now is to have 4 hernias removed. OUCHIES!!!
Sandy, what a beautiful Mother's Day poem!! I am printing it out and attaching it to the 2 floral arrangements I have in memory of my Alex. One will be going to the church we used to attend (there was a nasty split in Dec 04) and the other will be going to the church I attend now. I know that poem will touch a lot of hearts.
That is all for now. Sandy, Miss V, Selva, Marci and the rest of the AngelMoms...Peace and God's Blessings always.
Susan
Alex's Momma
JAN 2 1983~~MAY 8 2003
*still hurts to see that; I guess it always will*


selvam
5/8/2005 19:23

All my dear Angel Moms. Wishing you all the hapinnes and also the peace in your hearts, Love Selva


sosokool
5/8/2005 19:35

To the Whalen family, my prayers go to you, that you are healing with the help of God and your faith. I too lost my 24 yr old son on Oct 17,2003, and our daughter-in-law on May 12, 2003, so my prayers and thoughts are with you.


LOVE2U
5/10/2005 00:11

HELLO EVERYONE! Boy oh boy! It feels good to be online again! I must hurry and get this submitted. We have underground cable in our area and sometimes when it rains, we lose our IPS... Sure hope everyone had a peaceful weekend. I don't have time to read, so I will try to copy past into Works or somewhere just in case I get cut off again. Can't wait to find out how everyone is doing.

The cable repairman came out earlier today as was supposed to have fixed everything. Instead, I was only able to go online and open 2 incoming emails; and as soon as he drove off, my computer loss connection again. Talk about frustrating! So I drove down to the cable company, and made another appointment. The lady said they would not be able to send anyone out until sometime Wednesday between 8:00 AM and 6:00 PM. So, not knowing how long this magic fix will be working, I'm gonna keep the appointment. Haha! Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm OK; just have computer problems. Thanks for the lovely greetings Ya'll. I will try to open and read all before I get cut off again! I tried to get a few sent before the rain; but not sure how many got through. As always, you're all in my thoughts, which places you in my heartfelt prayers!

Love & Angel Hugs,
Verna


LOVE2U
5/13/2005 23:29

Hi Everyone! I am once again online as of sometime yesterday. I see that all is quiet here. I sure hope that means everyone is hanging in there. While my post is directed mainly to Sue, Ya'll know that it is also a sort of update to all. This way, I save the hands which are still giving me a lot of problems at times; especially my right hand/wrist.

Hello Sue, ~ Lord knows I am so very, very sorry that I missed posting to you on your beloved son, Alex's special heavenly date. Besides having problems getting online, I have not been feeling well. Just doing the best I can one day at a time. I pray that you made it through what had to be so very difficult. Especially with it being Mother's Day as well. The special days always are so difficult. There is never a day that goes by that we don't miss them and long to hold them close again. Still, leading up to and making it through the special days is so depressing and draining. I still go through the "If only" periods, but in my heart, I know our precious children are alive and receiving the very best of care. Nevertheless, knowing this still doesn't stop the longing and wanting to see them again. I too loved the very touching poem that Sandy shared with us here. I ran it off immediately and just sat there reading it over and over again! It really, really touched my heart and soul, as I am sure it did all who read it. Sandy, ... Thanks! :)


LOVE2U
5/13/2005 23:30

Sue, I am so very, very proud of your accomplishments! Especially your success with quitting smoking. Lord knows I wish I had one-tenth of your energy! I really need it now, as I try to get ready for house guests who are scheduled to arrive on May 20th. I've always heard that quitting smoking not only improves your health, but your energy level as well.

About the article; I missed it, but Ann, MADD'S director of victim services for northwest La, just happen to pick up a copy of the Bossier Tribune newspaper and there it was! She informed me via email and sent me a copy in the mail just in case I missed it; which I did. Jennifer, the reporter that interviewed me really did a great job. I will make copies of the article to share with all, and get a copy to you soon. More on this and an update on some other activities I'm involved in locally, via email. :) Sometimes, there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in my very busy days! My two sister's are scheduled to arrive May 20th and will be here until June 1st. So, believe me, I really have a lot to do around the house before they arrive. Nevertheless, it will be so good to see them again. There are only the four of us girls left now, so this will be a great reunion for us. :)

Love to you, and all my sister angel moms, and all who post here in our circle of love! I will try to post again to all as soon as I catch up on reading. Again, it's good to be back online again!

God's peace and blessings to all,

Verna


momofmichael
5/15/2005 14:18

my son michael died a few hours after his birth three days ago on May 13 2005. His father is serving in Afghanistan and has not even gotten the word yet that his son is gone. I am lost and need your support and prayers.


LOVE2U
5/16/2005 05:12

Dear Momofmichael, ~ My heart goes out to you and your husband in the loss of your precious and beloved little son, Michael. I pray that God will give you both the strength and support you will need to endure; now and in the days ahead. With your loss being so recent, you are no doubt still very much in shock, and your grief is still so very, very raw. I pray that you are surrounded by family and friends to give you love, support, and understanding throughout this very sad time. I also pray that the news is given to your husband in a very caring, and compassionate way. My heart literally aches for both you and your husband. I pray for your precious and beloved little son, whom you and his dad will carry in your hearts forever. You will always be his mom and dad, and he will always be your precious little son, Michael. :) In time, you will be able to feel his spirit and know that he is alive and well, and close to you in spirit always. The unconditional love bond between angel moms/dads and their children is forever.

Please know that you are surrounded with love, understanding and compassion here, and you will never, ever be judged for expressing your grief in your own way. Grief has no time limits. Sometimes talking about our loss helps to ease our pain as well as the pain that others may be feeling over their own loss. It lets each of us know that we are not alone in what we are feeling and that others have, indeed, felt such indescribable heartfelt pain! So, if the need arises, please know in advance that it is OK to talk about how you are feeling. Although I am so very sorry about your reason for joining us here, on behalf of our chief angel mom, Sandy, and all angel moms/dads and prayer warriors who support us; I welcome you to our circle of love. As time permits, please feel free to let us know how you are getting along. I light a candle in tribute to your precious and beloved son, Michael.

God's peace and blessings,

Verna
Diane's Mom
8/16/60-8/31/96
Forever In Our Hearts

Diane's Memorial Site:

www.thespearofstrength.com

Poem: You Are Not Alone









beachmom45
5/17/2005 10:14

Heavenly Father, we come before you Lord asking for your comfort and care of momofmichael and husband. We ask that you wrap your loving arms around them giving them peace as only you can give. We pray for their safety and protection.

In Your Son's name we pray,
Amen.

Love and Prayers to all,
Marci~.~


beachmom45
5/17/2005 11:06

My dearest Angelsisters,
Please forgive me for not posting as regularly as I might have had in the past. I have been in a extreme "FOG" that has basically left me with just enough energy to get by with only of life's most mundane tasks. I get up in the morning with enough energy to pretend that all is well, any change or loss of sleep (which happens quite frequently) and WHAM I am out of control. I argue with my hubby, I argue with my sons, heck, I even argue with my constant and devoted companion, Buddy! I know they all think that I am crazy…they have told me so! Believe me; it doesn’t take much to bring on the rain of tears!

Mother’s day was a tearful fiasco. My mom came over for dinner, which of course reminded me of my sister. My mom’s grief is not my grief. I can not “be there” for her. I am very uncomfortable about dealing with it all. My sister was 49 years old and led a full life, be it a short one. She chose her lifestyle. My beloved son, Sean-Michael was a blessing to us all, a Godly son with great character whose brief life was tragically ended when his damn car got stuck in a ditch and rolled on him crushing him! I know grief. It doesn’t ever want to let go of your heart.

I just can’t take anymore “upheaval” in my life. If there were no more birthdays, anniversaries or holidays, maybe then I could survive life without the constant heartache

They say that life’s struggle brings about growth and character; well, I have had about enough growth and character that I can stand!

I am tired of tribulation and I am ready for triumph!

With love and prayers,
Marci~.~


shellnu
5/17/2005 14:55

Dearest Shaner, Thank you for answering to my question about seeing a psychic. Yes the pain is nearly unbearable to no longer have contact with my first and most beautiful baby boy. He was such an amazing and beautiful gift to my life & to so many others. Even all the doctors and nurses that cared for him said he changed their lives forever. I know this beatiful baby boy was sent to me from God, nothing in this world could be more loving, warm, peaceful, happy and beautiful than the seconds that occupied the 17 weeks my little angel was with me. It is just so unbearable to live without all those amazing and wonderful things he brought to my life. I want so badly for my little James to know how much I love him & cherish every perfect inch of him. I pray to God for reassurance, a sign in any form that I will know my baby knows I Love him & miss him & that he is in Heaven with Jesus & so beautifully happy. But it seems 3 months have passed and I still haven't recieved any form of reassurance? I believe God is hearing my prayers, am I missing what he is trying to reassure me with? I feel such ache loneliness emptiness and pain every second of every day. I want so badly to hold my little Angel in my arms and kiss his beautiful little face. I tried never to take one second for granted when he was with me, I knew he was ill and that anything could happen. I atleast have some peace knowing that I never took his time with me for granted, they were the most wonderful and blessed days of my life, even through the heartache of watching my newborn undergo and attempt recovery of such a complex open heart reconstructive surgery. I will pray for you & your broken heart as well. I realize now the pain parents suffer after losing a child. As a nurse I could sympathize, but never fully understand the true tragedy of this loss. I pray for all bereaved parents, we all need all the love and comfort God can give. Thank you for your support. God bless Shane & James in Heaven & may God bless you & I & our families here on earth & provide us with peace and comfort daily.


Shaner
5/17/2005 19:52

Hello dear shellnu, I'm so happy you posted here, there were so many things I wanted to say to you at the Learn About Board but just couldn't, but I could read your pain. Everyone here will agree that it take's another Mom whose experienced the ultimate loss to truly understand the gut wrenching and heart wrendhing grief we go through. All the different emotions we go through that we never realized were there, and all the pain that goes with them. I know oh so badly how you want, need that assurance that James is happy and alright. As i said at the Board, our rational side know's this is so, but when we're grieving our hearts win out over that side. God most definitely hear's your prayers and in His time you'll receive that assurance that He know's you need.
Here at this Circle though there is never any judging, all we offer each other is love, support, understanding and prayers. God picked you to be your precious James mother and that bond of love between you and he is eternal, love never dies. James has already made a big impact on those who knew him, from what you say about the nurses and Dr.'s, and that's a direct result of love.
I know, we all know, how much you miss his physical presence in your life, how much you want to hold him once again, hug him, kiss him, sometime's we even get angry, why me? why my child? God is big enough to handle our anger and keep's right on loving us.
What you need right now is time and plenty of it, your time, not someone else's idea of when your grieving should stop. Keep leaning heavily on Jesus, Our Blessed Mother, and on those days you just can't, we stand in the gap for you. Please post here anytime, this is a very safe place to do so, even if you just need to vent, or want to share your feelings, or need prayers.

Father, you know how much your daughter, this Mom of James is hurting right now and need's assurance from You, most loving Father, I humbly ask You to grant this prayer for her through Your Son, Our Lord and Saviour Jesus, grat her Oh Lord, Your peace and love, strength, that surpasses all others, Amen.
Love, Prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy
Mom of Shane


Shaner
5/17/2005 20:06

Hi dear Momof Michael, along with the other AngelMoms let me say how sorry I am too over the loss of your precious child. I pray your husband is with you right now, they've given him leave to be there and see his son and be there with you where he belongs right now.
My heart and prayers are with you, please post back again, we all know how much pain you're in and we want to help you and support you through this tragic loss,
Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


Shaner
5/17/2005 20:09

To my dear sisters Marci, Yvonne and Miss V, I'm so sorry too that I haven't been around, I received cortisone shots from my Specialist today and it's helped with the pain. I'll write to you tomorrow, we have to go out right now, but you know that my love and prayers are always with you all,
Lots of love & tender Hugs,
Sandy

 
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