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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

11/16/2001 02:04

Robbie . . God Bless you, Andrew and Brandon, and the rest of your family. May you be in the company of Angels today, and always.

11/16/2001 07:33

Linda_16, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my Son Mick to suicide 8/7/01 he was 16. Yes the pain is very raw but I have found that God is our refuge and strength. I lean on him daily, and I have found a new home on these pages with everyone that has lost a child, I hope you continue to come back. I just found this bible verse and how true it is, 2nd Cor 1:3,4 states: 3)Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of mercies and God of all comfort. 4)Who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. I am starting to understand that I need to be still and just allow God to comfort me and to feel his arms around me. Be still and you will feel it. Lord please be with this family along with all those who need your comfort, please let them feel your love in Jesus name, Amen. ***love stephanie**

11/16/2001 14:40

Dearest Robbie, I am so very sorry to read of the losses of your two boys in a tragic house fire. Yes, the emptiness in your lives must be overwhelming, as well as your pain. Losing children does cut to your very soul, it's biting and it's mean as I've said in a previous post, but it applies to you right now. It hasn't really been that long for you either Robbie, I lost my darling Shane in 1999 also, and grief is a work in progress, every day I have to work on my grief also. But to lose two children has a total devastation of it's own, God bless you. I can't even imagine how I would feel if I lost both my boys as you have. Grief has no timetable, no set time to say I'm at peace, so just move at your own pace. I pray that you have good people around you for support, and if need be, please reach out to your family Dr., for counselling or medication, there's no shame attached to getting help, particularly when one's grief is so overwhelming to them, such as your's is at the moment. The reality of loss, especially with a child, doesn't really 'hit home' until the second or third year, so that's probably some of the pain you're experiencing right now that is so debillitating to you and your husband. Also you've recently had their Anniversary of their deaths, and that is always a painful time.
Please know that our hearts go out to you and most definitely our prayers, I ask Our Lord, the Great Comforter, to be with you and yours at this time, lean heavily on Him, He knows of your sorrow and feels it right along with you and loves you dearly. Your boys are still around you, sending you their love, so take some comfort in that, remember, love never dies, and as I said, we'll pray for you to come through this awful time and emerge at a peaceful stage. May God bless you and yours,
Luv Sandy

11/16/2001 15:55

I received this Poem from one of my support groups and wanted to pass it along for all of us that have lost our children. Thanksgiving is only a week away and I know that we will be missing them terribly. I hope this helps all of you as it has for me.

Giving Thanks,

I can not hold your hands today,
I can not see your smile
I can not hear your voices now,
my children who are gone.

But I recall your faces still
the songs, the talks, the sighs.
And storytimes, and winterwalks,
and sharing secret things.

I know you helped my mind to live
beyond your time with me.
You gave me clearer eyes to see,
you gave me finer ears to hear,
what living means, what dying means,
my children who are gone.

So here it is Thanksgiving Day,
and you are not with me.
And while I weep a mothers tears,
I thank you for the gifts you were to me,my children who are gone.

11/16/2001 20:38

s74jst, Stephanie, what a touching poem, says a lot, doesn't it, and hopefully it will help some moms who are American and will be celebrating Thanksgiving this upcoming week. But it could really apply to anytime of the year, the longing for the physical presence of our children. Thanks for posting it,
Luv Sandy

11/16/2001 20:47

Robbie~I, too, am so sorry to read of your tragic losses. Your words, your courage, has touched my heart. Having loss my daughter in a tragic and unexpected manner, I still find myself missing her so much even though it's been a little over 5 years now. I can't imagine losing two children. There are no words that can describe the grief and pain that I know you and your entire family are feeling. And, as Sandy has already stated, it really hasn't been that long. Grief at this level cannot be rushed. You need to give yourself much time to work through all the unbearable pain. I, too, hope and pray that you are getting the support you need from family and friends. I also pray that God will reveal that your precious boys; Andrew and Brandon are with you in spirit. They have become your guardian angels. May it help to know that the day will come when the pain and loss that you are feeling every second, will become a little easire to handle. The pain will not always be constant. You will, be prayed for here. We are like family here. We will be here for you, and ask God to walk with you and your family, and ease your heartfelt pain. Be kind to each other, give and ask for big hugs as often as you feel the need to do so. Sometines, it helps just to know that you are not going through this alone.
~Father, I ask that You pour out Your blessings on Robbie and her family. Lord, what pain they are feeling! Please have mercy on them, Lord. Please, God, reveal to them that You will never leave them, and let them know that their precious angels are alive and well, and want their entire family to know that they love and miss them too! God, I ask that You will send them a sign, that will let Robbie know that her precious sons are safe, and that they lov and miss her and the rest of their family, and that they want her to know this! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen

11/17/2001 01:39

Dear Sandy~Oh, how I have prayed for this day! I have something to share tonight with you, Sandy, and all who post here. I have managed to add another room to our prayer circle. It's right next door at: Prayerw and Poetry for all who have lost a loved one. I have alrady made several post there. Some I have dedicated to you, Sandy, and all who post here our prayer circle. I ask that you please visit before it disappears! :) I wanted to create a place where we could pray for all who have lost any dear loved one or friend. Then, too, I have been touched by so many beautiful poems, that have been shared here, and since I am almost ready to be a published poet, ha-ha!
(I hope) :) I wanted to share some of those poems with all of you first. So, I hope all of you here will visit from time to time, and post your prayers and poetry! And, please, when you do visit, try to overlook the many, many mistakes I made. This is especially true in the poem; Spear of Strength! Sandy, you will love the note I posted to you! :) For the record, I will always be a part of this prayer circle. And, now that I have added a room right next door, I hope all of you who post here will drop in from time to time and say a little prayer, or post a poem, or simply share some expression in your own way! I ask that you all will send up a prayer that this newly created prayer circle will serve many who are grieving the loss of a precious loved one or dear friend. To find it, just click on LOVE2U, then my pages, then Prayers and Poetry, and you will be there!

Dear God, thank you for helping me to try to reach out to all who have lost dear loved ones and/or friends. God, you already know the grief and pain you have helped me endure; especially when I had no desire to go on living! Lord, in light of all that's happening in our country and in our own personal lives, we can't pray pray too much! Father in Heaven, please help our newer members who have so recently lost their precious children! As I began reading the newer posts, I could not hold back the tears! Father, so many of your children are hurting because of the loss of our precious children! God, you know that the age of the child makes no difference; The loss of a child at any age is a loss unlike any other to that child's mother! Even the unborn child; the precious angels that You loved so much that could not part with them; Father, that parent needs your help just the same as any parent who has lost a child! Please, God, let these parents who post here know that they can come here any time of the night or day, and find comfort through the prayers of others who have also known the greatest pain a mother will ever know! Thank you Father, for hearing my prayer for all who post here! In Your Son Jesus' name I pray, Amen

11/17/2001 08:54

LOVE2U - Verna! I am so happy and excited for you, I'm going over to your Circle right now to view it, and I'm as excited about it as you are! God is using you in a Ministry of His own for you, and I know with your poetic talent and big heart it will be a wonderful success! And once again, your prayer for us all is so hearfelt, I know I speak for everyone when I say how touching and loving it is.
Luv Sandy

11/17/2001 17:39

shaner - thank you so much for this wonderful prayer circle. God is a constant source of comfort for me. My son died on 4/12/97 when he was 9 days old. Time makes the pain easier to bear, but it never goes away. I will keep you all in my prayers.

11/18/2001 08:49

tbenzen, I'm so sorry to read that you have lost a precious baby also, as have other moms on these pages. You were blessed with him for 9 days, I know that's not enough, but he was put into your life for a reason, and I know that some good always comes out of a terrible loss. A loss is a loss, and as you say, time does make the grief easier to bear, we do learn how to live with it, but it does change us forever. We can never go back to the person we once were before our loss of one of our beloved children. we'll always carry it with us, and the younger the loss, the more we wonder, "what if". As I've said before, a future goes with your child when you lose him or her, and that's one aspect of the loss of a child that causes us over the years much pain. I'm so happy for you that you found this Prayer Circle, you're now part of our 'family', and you will definitely be prayed for to help you deal with your own loss everyday, and thank you so much for your prayers, we all appreciate them so much! May God bless you,
Luv Sandy

11/18/2001 12:47

A friend of mine has written a short verse for a loved one of her's who lost her baby, and she's given me permission to share this verse, acknowledging the pain a mother feels, when she's lost her precious baby.

In the pain and fear of giving birth
I watched you come into this world
With awe and wonder in my heart
Then I held you in my arms and cried

In the pain and fear of impending death
I watched you leave this world
With shock and disbelief in my heart
Then I held you in my arms and cried

In the pain and fear of bereavement
I've searched for you in this world
With anguish and grief in my heart
Then I held the memory of you in my
arms and cried......and cried.
Luv Sandy

11/19/2001 08:24

Sandy~As you know, my daughter, Cheryl and her husband, James, lost twins shortly after they learned that she was expecting. The poem that you shared is sooo touching! I know it will help to bring healing to them both. Fortunately, her husband is a very compassionate person and also a minister. They are still having a rough time dealing with the pain. It helps to know that others care when we suffer the ultimate loss of losing our precious children. Cheryl is such a sweetheart, and God has blessed her by giving her such wisdom at the young age of 34. He love for God and His Holy Word, is evident in her life. She doesn't talk a lot about her own personal loss, but I know that the grief that she feels is devestating, and to some degree, has had a negative affect on their marriage. So, I am asking for prayer for my daughter and son-in-law from you and all who post here. I know it will be hard on both of them as we try make it through the up coming Thanksgiving holiday. So, as we pray for each other, especially those who have lost their children so recently, I ask that you will please pray for my daughter and her husband to make it through the Thanksgiving holiday. You know that I will do the same for our family here in our prayer circle, as well as next door! Thank you so much for sharing such a touching poem; and please thank your friend for giving you permission to share her touching poem! I will remember to send up a special prayer for her loved one who lost her precious baby! Again, thank you, Sandy!
Much Love to you and all the members of our prayer circles! :)

11/19/2001 09:57

LOVE2U, Verna, yes, I remember you posting about your daughter Cheryl's and her husband James' loss of their twins, God love them. It's so nice to hear that they have a strong hold on faith to help them through this, but even those with a strong faith base still feel pain over losing children, how could they not? Yes, sometimes as you know losing a child or in your daughter's case, twins, can put a strain on even a very strong marriage, but I'm sure that James will ride through this and be a strong supporter to his wife, your daughter, and she also has you and your wonderful love and faith too. I hope you get her to 'open' up more over her loss, talking and acknowledging the pain is the best release.
With the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday it just drives home so very hard that our children are not here with us, there's an emptiness in our lives, an empty chair, so we sometimes find it very hard to be thankful or to even feel like celebrating holidays, Christmas also is approaching fast, and that is also a very, very tough holiday for moms and dads who've lost children.
You know I will cover Cheryl and James in prayer, as well as you and other moms here as the holiday approaches and you know that your prayers are much appreciated also!
Yes, it is such a poignant poem, acknowledging the pain a mother feels when she loses her baby, I was so happy that she allowed me to post it here, and I know her loved one will appreciate your prayers also.
May God bless you Verna, as I know He does, and our prayers go out to your daughter and son-in-law and every other mom who will face the upcoming holiday this week.
Luv Sandy

11/19/2001 23:26

Sandy~Thank you so much for praying for my daughter and her husband, James. It really helps when you know that so many others are praying for those of us who are hurting. Yes, the holidays are always so hard on all of us. When I think back to the times when Diane was here, I sometimes find I must smile in spite of the tears that seem to come so easily since she went home to be with our Lord and Savior. Still, I try to concentrate on the fun times we had as a family when she was here with us. She still is, in so many, many ways! :)Although five years has passed, I can still hear the sound of her voice, as she would enter the house, yelling, "Hello, Mother!" (stressing the word Motherrrr!) Then, I recall hearing my baby sing her first solo at the age of four and a half, at her kindergarten graduation. The title of the song was In the Garden. By the time she finished the song,I was in tears! And all of our family members were looking at me as if to say, "Why didn't you tell us that Diane had such a beautiful voice?" The thing was, I had no idea this kid could sing! Later, after the program ended, she came running toward us yelling, Mama, that was the surprise! Tell Ms. Morris I kept the secret!" I just grabbed her and gave her a big bear hug! :)
Ah! the precious, sweet memories! :)
Much love to all and may God bless each of you and carry all of us through the upcoming holidays.

11/20/2001 08:07

Yes, the wonderful memories that our children have left us with are so precious! Sometimes I will laugh out loud over something that Shane did or said, he had a wonderful, dry sense of humour, and during the 'good times' I just love it when one of those wonderful memories comes through! They make up for the 'down times' or valley days that we still experience.
We are so fortunate to have those memories, so many moms who lost their children early do not, God bless them. But they have their own unique memories, holding their baby, giving birth, etc., so each of us has their own memory bank to draw on during the good days and the bad ones.
Did Diane inherit her singing voice from her mother?, lol.
Some of us who are further along the road of grief can draw on our happy memories, but those who are newly bereaved will have a hard time with the holidays approaching, and even myself, as I think about Christmas, the joy of it is somehow missing, so I have to approach it from a spiritual aspect, rather than a secular one. Just not in the mood for Ho-Ho, Happy, Jolly, as you hear in the stores and malls, because I'm not. I wonder if it ever comes back.
All of you wonderful moms on these pages will be prayed for as Thanksgiving approaches and then the upcoming Christmas season. God loves you all and so do I.
Luv Sandy

11/21/2001 01:33

My prayers are with you. I lost my son five and half years ago. He was thirty five years old. If I was ask how long ago I lost him I could say Yesterday or a lift time ago. Can't think of any pain worse than loosing a child. Jovo_ken

11/21/2001 05:32

jovo ken-I am so sorry about the loss of your son. Your words touched my heart. I feel your pain so deeply! For you see, I lost my daughter a little over five years ago (8/31/96. We had just celebrated her 36th birthday on 8/16/96. There are times when it seems as though it was all a bad dream! Then, reality awakens me, and once again, I realize that life will never, never be the same. And, you are right; there is no greater pain than the pain of losing a child! I am sure that every parent who has lost a child agrees. As I do for all parents who have lost a child, I pray that God will ease your pain. God bless you.

11/21/2001 08:03

Sandy, as I am sure you could tell, my last post was a valley day for me. As you say to often, we all have those valley days! Sometimes, I make an effort to climb up to the "hill top!" That is what I was attempting to do when I took a walk down memory lane in my last post. :) Sometimes it works and sometimes I just let go and let God! :) And, like you, the holidays are always hard for me. Looking forward to any holiday is a thing of the past for me and my family. For the grandchildren, I go through the motions, but my joy left when I lost my child; and I know it will never come back. We move on, but in a different way.
I did not remember until the next day, that the date had a lot to do with my down in the valley day. Nov. 19, 1999 was the last time my mother(while in good health) and I would visit and talk to each other. She had a massive stroke the next day (Nov. 20, 1999). She died May 22, 2000 (just 2 days before my birthday); at the age of 91. I will be posting some poems (one I wrote in her memory) sometime during the holidays at Prayers and Poetry; and also some things that Cheryl wrote. So, stop by for a visit all! :)
Oh yes, in answer to your question about Diane's singing voice: The answer is YES! (laugh) But that was many,many, and I do mean many years ago! Now days, I have difficulty humming! On that happy (hilltop) note, I pray that God will bless each and every one of you; especially the newly bereaved; and that He will answer our prayers and give each of us a quiet and peaceful Thanksgiving! May God bless each and everyone!

11/21/2001 10:08

jovo ken, thank you for your prayers, and ours go out to you also. No, I have never experienced such pain as I did when we lost our son Shane. I have lost my grandparents, my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, but none of the grief I felt for them ever compared in the very least to what I experienced losing my child. You've so aptly put it when you said, "it could have been yesterday or a lifetime ago". The grief we learn to live with never leaves us, we just learn how to cope with it. May God bless you and give you some peace today.
Luv Sandy

11/21/2001 10:18

LOVE2U, Verna, I'm happy to hear you're out of the valley, and I pray that all moms who will be celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow be given the spiritual and physical strength to get through the day, do something special to honour the spirit and life of your child, we always light a special candle for our Shane at Holiday times, place it on our table, and make him a part of our day. May the peace of God be with you all,
Luv Sandy

11/21/2001 11:46

My Heart goes out to all who have lost a child and I pray the Lord may help you in your healing. My sister and Brother-in-Law lost their 16 year old daughter Lydia, on September 9th, after her 2 year battle with Cancer. She was an inspiration to so many people in her community and she never showed anything but courage and dignity during her illness, but her body was so tired and she knew it was time to go home to the waiting arms of her Lord. Her faith in Him was enormous and she never gave up believing. My sister Sue and her husband Howard, have set up a Memorial Fund called "Lydias Legacy" to be used by cancer patients who wish to seek alternative treatment, Lydia was worried that she would be forgotten as she hadn't had time to make her mark on this world but I think she did and I am so proud to have had her as my niece, and I thank the Lord for bringing her into our lives even for such a short time. I miss her so much but I know that she is pain free and her spirit is with us always. She is our little angel. God Bless my sister and help her through this very difficult time. In the Lords name I send out a prayer for all who have suffered a loss and I know He will give us the strength to carry on.

11/21/2001 13:31

I have Just found your prayercircle and my heart also goes out to everyone hear who has lost a child. I also lost a child . 12-10-99 she was only 2days old and she died in my arms. I had a real hard time dealing with this ,I remeber that the tramatic experience had me wanting to kill myself. I couldn't go through with that so I started abusing drugs and alcohol, Jack daniels was my bestfriend. It took me almost two years to deal with my grief and I am better now ,I am saved ,I met God and he is so special and wonderous in my life but sometimes I still cry about my baby. I only had my baby for two days and I must have held her a hundred times and those two days and looked her about twice as much and the lost almost caused me to loose my mind . I don't know what I would have done if my child had been six and died or 10 and died. I don't know how I could handle that. It hurts to loose a child because that child is a part of you and came from you. The child is connected to you in a away that nobody can ever understand and to have your child just die on you is a tramatic experience all in it's self. Oh the pain, but I thank God also for the experience and crazy as it sounds because the death of my child allowed me the opportunity to learn of Christ and to become saved. Which is the best thing that could have happened to me. PLease pray for me that I will continue to grow strong in the LOrd.

11/21/2001 19:01

changinglifemi~I am so very, sorry you lost your precious baby. My heart goes out to you. I could feel your pain as I read your post. I am sure the other moms who read it will too. There is no greater pain than the pain of losing a child. Sometimes I read some of the previous post made by other moms who post here and I find that they all feel the same way. Please know that you will be prayed for by all the moms who post here. All of us here pray for each other; that God will continue to give us the strength to overcome our "valley days." But we agree that since losing our precious children, our lives are changed forever. I urge you to read some of the earlier post that moms have made here describing their pain and loss; and also the heartfelt prayers that we pray for each other. Sandy is a blessing to all who post here. We will be forever grateful to God for allowing us to discover this wonderful prayer circle. It a place where bereaved moms will always know they are not alone, that others share they pain. You will be prayed for here. God bless you.

11/21/2001 21:19

Moondancer54, I'm so very sorry to read about your niece Lydia. Your sister and brother-in-law must be in so much pain. Lydia sounds like a wonderful young lady, and through the generosity of her parents, her name will live on, a living legacy, "Lydia's Legacy". What a wonderful thing to do. Our Lord must have drawn Lydia very, very close to Him, so that her passing from this world to the next was met with acceptance and love by her.
Yes, she is your own very special Angel now, and she will never be that far away, she'll always be looking after you and her parents and other loved ones.
Thank you for your prayers, and Lydia's parents as well as you will definitely be prayed for here. May God bless you!
Luv Sandy

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