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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.


shaner
1/26/2005 13:27

Aw, that's so awful to hear about Don, God bless him, sick and losing one of his legs, I can't imagine how he's feeling right now and Evelyn as well!

Yes, my dear sister, you know that our prayers are with Don and Evelyn too, healing for Don, and Our Lord's strength, comfort and peace for him as well as for his Mom.
Lots of love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
1/27/2005 15:52

Our dear Marci, keeping you, your Mom and family in my love and prayers, I know this is still such a difficult time for all,
Lots of love & tender Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
1/28/2005 07:17

A Poem that our dear Ang sent me for the Circle:

I lost my loved one today,
People came to weep and cry,
As I sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say,
to try and make the pain go away.
I walked the floor in disbelief,
I lost my loved one today.

I lost my loved one last month.
Most of the people went away,
some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream.
This can't be real. I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside,
GOD help me, I want to die.
I lost my loved one last month.

I lost my loved one last year.
Now people who had come, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long.
To bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question, "why?"
Why does this person not move on ?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long.
I lost my loved one last year.

Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
my eyes have now cried many tears.
I see the look upon your face,
"She must move on and leave this place"
Yet I am trapped right here in time,
the song's the same, as is the rhyme,
I LOST MY LOVED ONE....TODAY...

Author Unknown


Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


Agnysse
1/31/2005 00:02

Dear Shaner, My prayers with you and yours always. I lost my daughter, Amelia, aged 19 on 21st August 2002. I lost my Dad on 19th July 2003 - before she passed away. I know what you must be going through as I have had double tragedy within 2 months. On 25th June 2004, my Mum passed away on the 2nd day after I arrived in USA (on vacation) and was not able to fly back on time - for her funeral. These 2 years had been really difficult for myself and my family. I still have a younger daughter to enjoy my life with. Although it has been difficult, ALWAYS know that GOD is the Greatest.. no matter what may happen and He alone lifted me up and filled my life with purpose and understand His true purpose of all that had happened. I still hurt so very much when a sudden memory of Amelia appears (just when you don't expect it) but I do know this... that whatever hurt, sorrow, emptiness (void feeling), despair, desperation and total loss... our experiences can never match to what God has to go through daily.. we are ALL His Children and He has to watch each and every of His children die.. every second, every hour..everyday. The love we have for our children.. parents.. can never surpass how much God loves us!!! Always remember this. He loves us.. like no other earthly parents can love us.. for His Love is pure and unconditional Love. I love my parents alot and alot.. and I know too.. that Our Heavenly loves us .. much more than what we can comprehend. Know that my prayers will always be for all of you parents out there.. let it be death, illness or just going through a rough patch with their children.. my prayers to all of you Parents out there. Just rejoice and be glad that we have a wonderful, loving, compassionate and Tender Heavenly Father. Talk to Him and He will show you the way.. to Healing.. His way.. His Time.. His Will.
Amen.. Amen.. Amen.... Thank you for sharing with me.. Thank you.


LOVE2U
1/31/2005 21:37

Hi Everyone! ~ I just finished reading back posts, so I will start trying to play catch up. :) Still not out of the woods on health issues; but hopefully will be back posting again soon!

Barbara, ~ Good to see a post from you! So sorry I missed posting on Jason's anniversary; but will still visit his site and leave a belated post. :) Again, great to hear from you!

A warm welcome to all new members. Sorry to read about the loss of your loved one. :( Thank you for your prayers and please know you will be prayed for here. :)

Thanks also to those who have not lost a child, but take the time to pray for all who have lost a child, other loved one, or friend. God bless you!

Marci, ... Praying that God will be with you and family during your most recent loss of dear Melody. May God wrap His arms around you and family, and keep all in His loving care!

Love & Prayers,

Verna


beachmom45
1/31/2005 22:58

My Dearest Sisters,

This past Sunday (January 3oth) is the day my family held a memorial service for my sister Melody. I must confess to you all that I could not help out or provide any emotional support to my extended family. Not enough time has passed since my beloved son Sean-Michael was laid to rest. The wounds of my broken and grieving heart are still so raw. I feel truly blessed that everyone was very sensitive to the subject and no one stepped over the line (we all know how “dramatic” big families can be!) and I made it through the entire service without breaking down.

Before the service, my oldest son, Matthew reminded that “all eyes will be on you, to see how you react” and that “it’s up to you to set the right example to all those who attend the service.” He told me at Sean-Michael’s service that is what he did. He sought out the parent’s that had lost a child and friends that had lost a sibling and watched. Once again, not too bad of advise coming from a 24 year! I did make it through, PRAISE GOD!

I am so tired of this journey. That is what grief is. It’s a journey, a crossing, a passage. It is a course through time. How well we handle it is up to us. I am beaten down and I am tired, but I have along way to go to get to where God wants me to be. It is with God’s grace that I have survived thus far and it is with the great desire and hope that someday I will come to the end of my journey and arrive at God’s final destination for eternity.

Thank you, for your loving prayers. There have been times when you feel so weak that you are unable to pray for yourself. Knowing that you have the love and compassion of prayerful friends is a blessing!

My love to you all!
Marci~.~

Sean-Michael >i<
7-15-1985-8-9-2003

Ps I am exhausted today, I had to take my daughter to LAX in Los Angeles (traffic-yuck!) and then My nephew Jonathan to Burbank airport! A very long and emotional drive for us all, Jonathan is leaving for Iraq March 1st. Please join me in praying for his safety,.


Agnysse
1/31/2005 23:14

Heavenly Father, we ask for Your Heavenly guidance for all soliers fighting for peace, love, democracy and dignity. We ask You dearest Father, that You will shine Your Heavenly Light and protect all the soldiers and helpers in Iraq and the Iraqis. Comfort those who are still in pain for having lost their children and their loved ones and let them know that You love them. Embrace them Heavenly Father and cocoon them with your Loving Light. Heal them Heavenly. Heal all of us.. for we are weak and down trodden. We seek Your face and Your loving embrace. Shine Your Light Father.. we thank you and we love you so very much, Amen..Amen..Amen - Let Your will be done..Amen, Alleluia, Amen.


beachmom45
1/31/2005 23:30

Oh Agnysee!
Thank you for your beautiful prayers!
And a heartfelt "WELCOME" to our circle of love and prayer! May you find peace and comfort here!

God Bless you!
With love and prayers

Marci~.~


shaner
2/1/2005 07:46

Hello dear Agnysse, a big warm welcome to the Circle from me too! I'm so sorry that you've also lost a child, your precious Amelia, God bless you dear one. You're in the best of company here though, we've all experienced that ultimate loss and know firsthand of the awful pain that losing a child brings. Sorry to hear as well about your dear parents as well, all three losses in such a short period of time, that had to be very, very hard on you, God love you.
Thank you for your beautiful prayers and thoughts, yes indeed God is our ever present strength in time of need!
Of course you still miss your Amelia, you always will, a part of ourselves goes with our child. With God's loving help though you'll get through those days and come out of the valley and back on the mountain.
Please post here anytime, you'll only find support, love, acceptance, compassion and never any judging - and prayer too!
That's so true, we are all God's children and He love's us all!
(beautiful, touching prayer for Marci, she just lost her dear sister last week, as well as her precious son Sean Michael)
Welcome again to our Circle of Love, you're in that Circle now, it belong's to anybody who's suffered the ultimate loss.
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
2/1/2005 07:48

Hello dear Miss V, nice to see you posting too,
Much love, prayers & Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
2/1/2005 08:12

Hi our dear Marci, we've been waiting to hear from you, I'm so happy you posted! You just had Melody's Memorial Service this past week? Oh gosh sweetie, that had to be so hard on you, you are still grieving over your Sean Michael and now losing your dear sister Melody is going to set you back of course, you're grieving for her as well, God love you. Yes, it is a Journey, a road that twists and winds at times and others a straight stretch, a course in time as you say, but it doesn't mean we can't stop and rest along the way, so you do that right now, take care of yourself, lean heavily on God and let Him carry that load for a while, He wants to and is right by your side.
We're all standing in the gap for each other, so you know on those days when you feel beaten down, our prayers and love are going out and up. I also pray that your Mom is doing as well as can be expected, she's also in our love and prayers.
Oh, of course our dear sister we'll keep Jonathan in our prayers too, may his Angels surround him.
Lots of love, prayers & tender hugs,
Sandy


Agnysse
2/1/2005 22:58

Dear All - Loving Souls/Friends

I would like to share this poem (created on 05th December 2003) with all of you - dedicated to Amelia (and you.. all my friends) this is my yearning for all your loved ones.. who had passed away.

Mystery of a Soul - Amelia

Soul, wispy and light like a wind
Floating lost in void yet free
Yes, it's like living without being
With happy thoughts without reality.

I long to hold you, my loving kin
My mind stood still in hope to see;
But I fear and feel thru faults and sin
That I'd lost you forever but yet with me.

As time will heal and some will sing
My life won't have you in reality.
But God heals all although I sink
Arise, my child He'll say to me
And know that all is good with you and Me

I dedicate this special to all of your loved ones too. I will read it.. every now and then.. and will remember all of you.. in my moments of praise and thanks to God - our Heavenly Father Most High. I yearn for God everyday of my life.. and as I read this poem often.. all of you .. will be journeying with me.

God loves all of you... Alleluia.. Amen..Alleluia Praise and thanks to God in the Highest. For His Eternal Love is without end Amen... Amen.. Amen


shaner
2/2/2005 15:11

Hello our dear Agnysse,
What a very beautiful, touching poem to share with all, thank you for this gift, I know it has a special meaning in your heart for your beloved Amelia.
God is good, all the time, all the time, God is good!
Much love, prayers & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


LOVE2U
2/4/2005 21:00

Agnysse, ~ I was so touched by the beautiful heartfelt poem you've shared with us here. There is such healing in your compassionate words! I, too, write healing poetry; some of which I have shared here in our circle of love. Your poem, and sincere prayers will continue to touch others as we continue on our journey. Thank you again for reaching out to others even as you continue to grieve your own losses.

God's peace and blessings,

Verna
Diane's Mom
8/16/60 ~ 8/31/96


LOVE2U
2/4/2005 21:29

Dear All, ~ I am asking that you continue to storm heaven with prayer for my niece, Felecia. She is out of intensive care now; but still very, very ill. Please pray also, that God will continue giving my sister, Pearl, and I the strength to continue taking good care of our Felecia and her precious little 5 year old daughter, Ashley. I think I told you that Felecia is a single parent; but praise God, her only son, Cory, who is an adult now, and his father, have been there for Felecia 24/7! So has her brother, who is our pastor. They help with the lifting and wheel chair on days she has to go for kidney dialysis treatment. That is, ... when they can get off work during those times. So we are doing the best we can. We also have some help from hospice. So we are so very grateful to God and everyone, and counting our blessings daily. Diane and Felecia were born 9 days apart! :) At that time, Pearl and I were fortunate enough to live next door to each other; so we enjoyed raising our little ones together! :)
As always, you're all in my heartfelt thoughts and prayers, ... Always!

God's peace and blessings,

Verna

Only Time is capable of understanding how much Love is worth saving.


LOVE2U
2/4/2005 21:42

Sorry, ... I forgot to delete my email tag [before doing my copy/paste]that I believe I copied for a page someone sent to me recently. :) Nevertheless, it's a good thought to share! :)


shaner
2/5/2005 14:06

Hello our dear Miss V, glad to hear that your Felicia is out of intensive care, that must make you all breathe a little easier! It's also terrific that she has so much family support around her at this time, God bless all.
Yes, of course, all are in my prayers,
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy
p.s. That was me that sent you the fwd. with that line in it - it is the truth, isn't it!


shaner
2/5/2005 14:11

I thought this was an interesting article I received from Indigo this morning, so I'm sharing with all,

When Does Life Seem Normal Again?
I am not sure when that fully happens, if it ever does, but I do know that there are things in my life right now that seem more normal than they have since my son's death. It seems like over the past years I have been waiting for moments where I think that life might just be getting back to normal. It has been very hard to understand that concept because at times I don't feel it ever will, but there have been a couple of things recently that have given me some hope.

The first thing is just a simple matter and to many it might seem a little insignificant, but for us it was pretty devastating. Kirk loved to drink milk, even sitting here thinking about it I get a little emotional, at times we would go through a couple of gallons a week. We were on his case at times because he would drink it all leaving none for us.

After his death we could not even begin to keep a gallon of milk in the house. It would sit in our refrigerator until it spoiled. Even passing the dairy section in the grocery store was trying and painful. It got to the point where we started buying half gallons and still they spoiled. It was almost 2 years before we could buy a half gallon and make our way through it. Well, here we are 4 and a half years later and this past week we went through our first gallon of milk in a week. It seemed strange, it probably seems strange to just hear me talk about it, but it is amazing what little things can make such a difference. Every time I look at a gallon of milk, or pass the dairy section, I reflect on Kirk and they way he was. It really is a very nice memory.

The second thing has been very painful for me to even get through over the past 5 times I have done it since Kirk's death and that is coach Science Olympiad at my school. Kirk was a member of the team for 4 years, from his 6th grade year to his freshman year in high school, and I was his coach, thank God. The four years he was on the team we took 1st place in our regional which usually had about 10 school participate. He usually won medals in most of the events he was in. He was able to win about 4 state medals during his time on the team. After his death I had an extremely hard time even getting it started each year. The year after his death we dropped to 4th place and it really hurt me to see what a toll his death had taken on my life and the team. I tried to get back into it over the past years, but just couldn't seem to reach out far enough to bring it back to where it was while he was alive.

Last year with my back surgery I hardly even coached it. I was in the hospital and recovering for over a month just before we competed. We have placed the past 3 years, but one second and 2 thirds, no more 1st. This year, though, I feel really good about the team. As good as I did when Kirk was alive. I have found myself more energized about it and spending more time with the kids who I am finding a lot of fun. I am hopeful this year we will do good, but even if we don't I feel that my spirit has improved. I feel the team is back to where it was when Kirk was a part of it. I know Kirk's spirit is still with me and trying to move me forward. I do feel better.

All I can say is that things will change. They aren't going to change overnight and definitely not going to change by forcing the issue. You just have to give it some time. Things will start to come back a little at a time. They are never going to have the same meaning, but the spirit and joy one once felt might just peak out every now and then. Give it a chance to grow, it is a good way to remember our children.

I can relate so much to his 'milk experience'. Shane LOVED ice cream, Butterscotch Ripple, and for a long time I couldn't go anywhere near that aisle in the grocery store. I'd hear his voice saying to me "Don't forget my ice cream, Mom".

Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


beachmom45
2/5/2005 16:20

Sandy, oh how much I can relate to both of you! Not just the milk part but it seems as if we "see" our children in all that we do...

From devotionals@griefshare.org
Healing Through the Psalms Day 301

The book of Psalms provides great comfort for those who are suffering and in pain.

"Certainly when someone has lost a husband, a wife, a very dear friend, or perhaps a child, there is an awesome gaping hole of loneliness," says Dr. Ray Pritchard. "One of the best things I know to do is to open to the book of Psalms and to read those great psalms where David, with those same feelings, is crying out to God."

Let words of Scripture be your prayers to God. Choose a psalm to pray each day. Here are a few to get you started: Psalm 5, 23, 31, 40, 57, 61, 69, 86.

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord" (Psalm 40:1-3).

O God, I trust in You. You are my refuge, my rock, and my daily help. Amen.


beachmom45
2/5/2005 16:33

Selva,
Please let Don and his family know that we are praying for him.

Verna, please know that we are praying that God will Bless you and Pearl with the strength and stamina necessary to attended to your niece Felecia. We pray that God will Bless your family with all the support and comfort it needs.

Love and prayers to all,
Marci~.~


LOVE2U
2/6/2005 06:07

LOOK OUT! Here comes a master rambler, Ya'll! :) :)
[1]
Dear Angel Moms, ~ I thank you for your prayers for family and me. It's still touch and go with my niece, Felecia. When I went by earlier yesterday, she seemed to be resting well. My grandson, Steven, and I picked Ashley up, took her for treats, and brought her home with us to spend time playing watching cartoons! At least that was the plan. Ha-ha! They ended up turning flips, and playing the old piano in the den. But I was ready for them. All I had to do was turn off the power to my hearing aid, and talk about peace and quiet! Ha-ha! All jokes aside, I really do get a kick out of watching them play while thinking, "It must be wonderful to have all that energy!"
[2]
While out for a treat and to get some fast food; we narrowly escaped being caught up in what I guess was an attempted robbery at the fast food store. After leaving the store, we went to a drive-in to pick up some chicken, and on the way back, an ambulance passed us going super fast. As we got near the store we had just left a few minutes before, there was a fire truck, and a couple of police cars in front of the store; and several policemen were behind the counter talking with the clerk that had just waited on us! I said to the kids; "That's it, we are headed home!" Ha-ha! Steven responded, "I know that's right!" :) And, little Ashley's expression told me that she agreed. Ha-ha! We had planned to make another stop at another fast food place, because the first two, the lines were so long. But seeing all those police and the ambulance and all, I think we all lost our appetite real fast! Ha-ha!


LOVE2U
2/6/2005 06:08


[3]
So, I ended up having to fix them a snack at home, after all. Hubby and I had taken Steven to Taco Bell and to the park earlier in the day; but you know boys! And little Ashley just loves Mac & Cheese, and hot-dogs, and expects me to fix it for her whether she has already eaten at home or not. And, believe it our not; they both LOVE milk! I thought about the post I read here earlier. :) Anyway, they had a good time, and little Ashley was NOT ready to go home when the time came. Her grandma, Pearl, told her she couldn't spend the night because she has to comb her hair tonight, plus they attend early morning service at church. Ashley's hair is very thick and it takes a lot of time to comb. I tried to braid [one] braid once, ... and swore I'd never make that mistake again! Ha-ha! Especially with sore wrist and fingers aching! I asked Pearl once how in the world she managed to get through combing all that hair; she shook her head and said, "First, ... I pray!" Ha-ha! My sister, God bless her, has a lot of patience; and a spontaneous sense of humor, too!
[4]
Just for the record, Felecia sends Ashley to the beauty shop every two weeks to get her hair shampooed and braided; but she will not allow her hair to be permed or pressed. Losing most of her own hair with her condition, I think she is afraid that Ashley's hair might get damaged. She is such a pretty little girl, and everyone in the family, except her mom, Felecia, would love to see her just once in curls! But, bless her heart, her mom, so far has not changed her mind. So we have accepted and respect her decision.


LOVE2U
2/6/2005 06:10


[5]
Well, enough rambling for me tonight ... [I think]. I started working on this rambler early last night. I am up late because it is the weekend; and also, because Steven is spending the night; PLUS, ... I've been good all week [almost] and have been taking my meds [most of the time], and going to bed early [most of the time]! Talk about feeling weird! :( It is really hard to BREAK THE HABIT of staying up late. :( I still wake up 3 or 4 times during the night thinking it's time to get up! But that's because I don't always remember to take the meds that makes me sleepy. Well, ... It says on the med bottle: "Take as needed." Ha-ha! I think it's gonna take a while before I really feel I need it! Enough humor! :)

Angel Moms, I am asking that you join me in praying for our dear Angela. She has been in a lot of pain recently, and needs our prayers. Perhaps she emailed you all too? Anyway, I am sure she already knows that she can count on us to storm heaven with prayer for her.

Also, angel moms, I invite you all to visit my other memorial site, and sign the site map and guest book! I just figured out how to do the map thing myself today! It was real easy. :) To visit the site; ... Just copy/paste the following in your browser: www.thespearofstrength.com As most of you already know, the site is a love tribute; not only to my beloved daughter, Diane, ... but to all our guardian angels, whom we love, and miss so very much, and all bereaved parents who have lost a precious and beloved child. As someone said, [senior moment], ... We owe it to our beloved angels to live out the rest of their lives! In my opinion; the only way to do continue our journey, is: one minute, one hour, and one day at a time! As always, Angel Moms, ... You all are in my thoughts daily, which places you in my heartfelt prayers!

[LOVE2U], :)

[Miss V.] ... [Sandy, was it you or Cindy who nicknamed me Miss V.]? :)

Verna


LOVE2U
2/6/2005 06:11


[6]
Hey Sandy, ... Thanks for letting me know where the email take came from! :) I use so many from Beliefnet; but then I remembered, ... Someone sent this to me in a fwd page! :) There are soooo many beautiful and inspirational messages being shared online! I, just love sending and receiving them. And, the messages are always on time! :) Thanks again!

Marci, Sandy, ~ Thanks again for the prayers and your kind words. Sandy, your post about Shane brought tears to my eyes, and a smile to my face. Of course, you know we all have those mixed wonderful and sad moments! I still find it hard to believe that I finally learned to accept the fact that it is really OK to recall those moments; plus, ... I discovered; ... They are very, very much a part of the healing process, and they help us to continue on our endless journey! As it says in the post above, ... The slow passing of time really does help.

Marci, ... There are no words, ... Just know that my heart goes out to you, your mom, and your entire family in the loss of dear Melody. I will continue praying for all! Having lost all 3 of my brothers; two of them tragically and without warning, I can relate to what you are going through. Also, please let your mom and the rest of your family know that we will keep them in our heartfelt prayers; and give your Mom a warm and tender hug from all of us!

OK, Ya'll, ... Over and out! :)

 
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