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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

12/22/2004 20:34

Hi dear Ang,
You're so thoughtful to post here for everyone, an earthly angel yourself!
What a bittersweet touching story about John and Andy, I believe our children all taught us many lesson's that we needed to learn, in addition to the joy and love, so much love, they brought into our lives,
Much love & Angel Hugs,

12/23/2004 10:15

Thinking of you all at Christmas!
Love Chris

12/23/2004 11:02

God ,please bring us the healing we all need & deserve.I miss my sunshine,but he never was mine,because i know we all belong to you.Thank you for blessing me with him.

12/23/2004 13:54

Hi dear Chris, wishing you, Mike and family a very peaceful Christmas, with lot's of comfort and good memories, may God's blessings be upon you all and help you through the Season,
Lots of love & Angel Hugs,

12/23/2004 14:00

Hi cdkelley, a very warm welcome to the Circle, we're all family here so please post again!
Thank you for your prayer, and remember that your sunshine is never far away.
Praying for peace and comfort for you as well during this difficult time of the year, whether it's your first Christmas without your beloved child or longer.
Love & Angel Hugs to you,

12/24/2004 16:48

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Saviorís birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

12/25/2004 00:53

The Christmas Song

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like eskimos
Everybody knows a turkey and some
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that Santa's on his way
He's bringing lots of toys and goodies
on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know hot to fly
And so I'm offering this simple wish
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times,
many ways
Merry Chrismas to you

*repeat last verse*

12/25/2004 01:56

Hey Sandy! :) I wish you could have seen me trying to submit my post before midnight! Oh, I do love the song you shared. It is so beautiful, it made me want to share one of my favorites. I was trying to post on the 24th, but I don't think I made it. :) Anyway, I finished the last of my cooking, ... [Baking my sweet potato pies a couple of hours ago for tomorrow's Christmas dinner.] I also couldn't resist testing everything just to make sure the seasoning was just right. Ha-ha! Well, that's the traditional excuse we women use in our family each year while preparing the goodies. So glad to get finished with everything early. Then hubby and I spent a little quiet time watching TV after the Rues left. Cheryl, Steven, and I went shopping for last minute gifts earlier today, and found some real great buys. On the way home, we decided to stop by and spend a few minutes looking at our beloved Diane's photo on the MADD billboard. It was Cheryl's suggestion; so naturally, I said OK. It was like making her [Diane]a part of all we were doing. Still don't know how long the billboard will be there; but we have taken many photos just in case they move it after the holidays. I have it on disc now; so if I haven't shared it with you all in an email, [senior moment], I will soon!Also, hubby and I celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary today, ... or yesterday now! :) Which reminds me, I'd better stop rambling and get some rest so that I can be up bright and early to start getting everything warmed up for our family dinner! Arrival time is 12:30 PM!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Much love & Angel Hugs,
[Miss V.]

12/26/2004 04:06

My Dearest Sisters,
Please forgive me for not checking in sooner...Sandy, I am okay. I promise. Just had been having some real tough times. No one tells you the 2nd Christmas will be harder than the first...The first Christmas your busy just trying to get through it. The 2nd Christmas the whole grief thing hits you SMACK DAB IN THE FACE! Like "oh DUH! Someone is missing here and ainít ever coming back!Ē

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my family, our close friends and of course my nephew and his wife, BABY KAI (who is cuter in life than his adorable picture!:))

My nephew returned to Virginia the day after Thanksgiving and Baby Kai and mommy got to stay with us for TWO WEEKS!! I was in Great Auntie HEAVEN! I cried the morning they had to leave up until the time they left at 11:00! I just know that the next time that I will get to see my beautiful boy he'll be graduating from college!

Keeping it together has been very hard for me this year. The closer the days grew till Christmas the more tired I grew. I just didn't want to have to go through any of this at all. No shopping, no Christmas music, no lights, no nothing. I couldn't fake any of it at all. I finally just locked myself in my bedroom for a day and just let it all out. Actually it took several days to get it all out. I'm sure that there is much more pain and anger still left for another time. But I knew I had to get a grip when my son told me that "everyone was going through a lot and that we all handle it in our own different ways and that I could control how I was feeling, that it was up to me." Not too bad of advice for a 24 year old. He is right. We are masters of our own destiny. WE CHOSE TO BE HAPPY; WE CHOOSE TO BE SAD. The hardest thing is following through on the choices that we make. For myself and those around me, I realized that they would much prefer me to be happy. So itís important that my choice is to live as happily as I can if only to make life for those around me much more comfortable. I choose. Itís up to me, and with Godís Grace someday I will be happy heart and soul. In the meantime I choose to be happy.

12/26/2004 04:08

On Christmas Eve my daughter and I ran into a friend of my beloved son Sean-Michaelís. He kept apologizing for not making it to Seanís funeral little over a year ago. He explained that the father of his long time girlfriend had passed away unexpectedly, and he couldnít handle two funerals in the same week. Believe me, I canít remember half of those who were there not alone who wasnít! I knew how hard it would have been for him because only two years earlier Matt Buckles, his best friend, and a friend to my Sean and daughter Kristi was killed in an early morning accident driving to work. It was very hard on him because Matt had had cancer when he was younger and was in remission, we all thought he had beat all the odds, he was survivor. Mattís untimely passing left him with many questions regarding God. I know that he and my son Sean grew apart as they became older and their lives took different directions. Seanís faith kept growing and his friend had many questions. After all the formalities were over he causally said to us ďhey did you guys here Damon is DEAD? I couldnít believe what he was saying to us! I made him repeat it again! Damon is his older brother. He was in the Navy and was killed in June. This will be their first Christmas without him and he said it has been tough on him and his mom. He said he would call us soon and then he was gone. My daughter barely made it out of the store before the tears came. I am absolutely shocked. I know that we had received many phone calls and messages in June, but that was a very busy time for us between out swim teamís fireworks booth and my daughter moving we were spent very little time at home. It was not something that they would leave on our answering machine. Matt Buckles mother had even come to visit but I had been away at my daughterís. What I donít understand is the why? What lesson do they all (the young ones) learn from so much grief? I have lost count now of how many close friends my children have lost. SEVEN, EIGHT OR maybe itís up to NINE! I do know that it sucks.

12/26/2004 04:12

This Christmas night, nephew Jonathan called us from Japan and spoke to my son Matthew. He will be deployed to Iraq on January 7th, Matthewís birthday. His wife and baby will stay in Japan. Jonathan has been in the Navy for five years now and I personally never thought he would be sent to Iraq. The Navy has assisted him in receiving his degree in nursing and with continuing his education as a physicianís assistant. His ultimate goal is to be physician. He was supposed to begin medical school this June. His job is to take care of wounded Marines. I pray that God will keep him safe.

My constant prayer now is that God gives me the strength TO CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY but also the strength to be capable and willing to make that choice.

Hope everyone is doing well and is having a Blessed Holiday. Please know that I am praying for you. I care so much for all of you, Sandy, Selva, Sue, Verna and all others who have posted the heartfelt tears of comfort and support to us all.


With much love and prayers,

12/27/2004 08:57

Hi dear Marci! Gee, pleasantly surprised again, a post from Miss V and one from you, our long lost sister, :-).

It's SO nice to see a Post from you, and know that you're still here and you're OK - well, as OK as you can be right now.
Oh gosh, that's so true dear Marci, in so many ways as you've found out, the 2nd Christmas can be far more devastating than the first, I'm sorry sweetie, I should have posted more on Christmas this year, how much more the reality is that our beloved child isn't with us, especially during the 2nd, 3rd years. Oh heck, every year, but I promise you with your time, it won't be as painful, it'll always be there, but with a certain sadness that settles over everything but one you'll learn how to live with eventually.Actually very much as you say in your Post, making that choice while still honoring your feelings.
For instance, this was our 4th Christmas without Shane, during the day of Christmas Eve a song came on the Radio and it made me very sad and I started to cry. The one about "I'll be home for Christmas if the fates allow", and it felt very good to cry. After I was done I went on to put some last touch's on gifts for some neighbors.
I'm so sorry you had such a rough time, but you know it's OK and to be expected, this was only your 2nd Christmas without Sean Michael! So please don't be too hard on yourself if you wake up today, choosing to be happy and something happen's that squeeze's your heart again - I understand completely what you're saying about choosing our feelings, but there are still going to be times when they choose us instead, :-).
Hm, I know, since Shane passed away we must know of at least 5-6 other young people that he was either good friends with or acquainted with who've passed on also, are we just more cognitive of it now or are more young people dying, I don't really know.
I pray too that Jonathan is kept safe, with his Angels surrounding him and that this bloody war will be over soon and peace once again.
Ah sweetie, our dear sister, we care as much for you, you're always in my prayers and love and I hope we'll hear more from you, if I don't hear, I worry!
Blessed, peaceful days for you with God's love and care for you too our dear sister,
Lots of love, prayers & Hugs,

12/27/2004 14:25

Dearest Sandy,
Thank you for the comfort your replies means so much when you see our tears and dry our eyes! God Bless you! May God bring you peace and comfort throughout the new year.

Love and prayers to all,
>i< Sean-Michael
7-15-85 8-9-03

Selv, You okay?

12/28/2004 07:15

..and you too our dear Marci!

Our sister Selva was spending Christmas with a friend who's also lost a child, for emotional support for each other, she said she'd be back online either yesterday or today, so hope and pray we hear from you, our dear sister,
Lots of love & Angel Hugs,

12/28/2004 14:44

Hi my dear Angel sisters. I'm sorry I did not post in the last few days, but believe me you were all in my prayers. I spent a few days, including Christmas's day with a dear friend who also lost her only child, her 22 year old son, 4 years ago, we both wanted to get away and hide until the Holidays were over, and that is just what we did, she went back home today she lives in Philadelphia, and I am back to work. i thank God that another Christmas is over now,we don't have to hold our breath any more. My dear sister Marci, I am sorry you are having Valley days, it is just normal my dear sister, we are so new at this, but always think that our children just moved to a much better place, and they are still with us even if we can not see them with our human eyes, but in our hearts we still feel that tremendous love that only mothers know about, so think, love is eternal and so our kids, we will be with them again, and just think of The Reunion, that will be God's gift to us. Love you all my dear sisters and I will post again later . love Selva

12/28/2004 15:52

Mi hermana, Selva,
I am so glad you were able to join your friend for the holidays! I too am glad that Christmas is now over...we only have to get through the new year.

Thank you for your comforting words. Your loving heart always shines through in all your posts.

With much love and prayers to all,

12/29/2004 01:42

Hi my dear sister! ~ It's great to see a post from you! You know we worry about each other whenever we don't hear from someone in a while. :) But trust me when I say we do understand. Anything we decide to do to help us make it through the holidays is always OK. It's always difficult, but it helps to know that no matter where we are or what we are doing, we never forget to pray for each other, asking God to grant those precious moments of peace which only He can provide. I thank God everyday for bringing us together to pray for and support each other and all who have lost a child or other loved ones! God's peace and blessings,

12/29/2004 09:07

Hello everyone,

By now we all know about the earthquake and the terrible Tsunamis that have wreaked havoc and tragedy of insurmountable proportion on the people of S.E. Asia and parts of Africa.

The majority of those counted as dead are children. Very heartbreaking and sobering to watch on the news a mother and father passing their dead child's body over to a worker who threw her into a mass grave.

Heaven is now filled with thousand's of more bright little stars, but our brothers and sisters across the Ocean are grieving and in so much pain.

We pray for them here at this Circle of Love and Beliefnet has a Prayer Circle itself where you can add your own prayer, it's on the front page.
Much love to all,

12/29/2004 10:52

Hi Sandy, ~ I just finished submitting a post and a poem there earlier and was about to post about the prayer circle here. Then I clicked here, and read your post above. My heart cries because of all the tragic loss of life and things that are happening all over the world; but especially for all the victims and for those left behind. I read somewhere that they had mud slides in California, but no great loss of life thank God. Lord help us all. Marci, let us know you're OK. I hope it's no where near where you are. My mind was already on all that's going on in Iraq, and now this natural disaster just adds to the sadness in my heart. Thanks Sandy for posting about the prayer circle that Beliefnet has set up on the front page. I join you and all others in praying for all. May God bring them comfort and send the help they so desperately need. Also, continued prayer for world peace.
Much love and prayers,

[copy/paste from Beliefnet]
Put away all hindrances, let your mind full of love pervade one quarter of the world, and so too the second quarter, and so the third, and so the fourth. And thus the whole wide world, above, below, around and everywhere, altogether continue to pervade with love-filled thought, abounding, sublime, beyond measure, free from hatred and ill-will.

-Adapted from the Digha Nikaya

12/29/2004 11:07

It was during one of my times of feeling so helpless and saddened by all that going on in Iraq and other parts of the world that I wrote the following. I, too, pray that God continues to bless America; but I also pray for world peace and that people all over the world could just try to love one another. It probably won't happen in my lifetime, if ever, but still I pray!

God Bless The Human Race

God bless the human race
Help us to see
We are sisters and brothers
Help us live in a world filled with peace
Teach us Patience,
and Compassion,
One and all ...
God bless the human race
Bless one and all ...
God bless the human race
Bless one and all!

Written by: Verna R. Clay
Copyright 2004

12/29/2004 14:07

Beautiful, meaningful poem, dear Miss V.
I sadly agree, I don't think it'll happen in my lifetime either, although it warm's my heart to see so many Countries, Agencies, Charities and individuals reaching out to help with this terrible tragedy. It restore's your faith in humankind (the glass is always half-full to me:-).
Praying for all with love,

12/29/2004 21:25

Hello to all angel moms & dads. It has been along time since I have posted. This is my 2nd x-mas with out my Nicholas and it was very hard. I have been in valley days since Thanksgiving. We got over 20 inches of snow two days before x-mas and I couldn't get out to the cemetary to visit Nicholas and that made it even more harder because I visit him almost everyday and x-mas day I should of been able to visit with him. I finally got out there today, they finally got the roads cleared at the cememtary so I could get back in there. I wanted to call and yell at them for not having them cleared but I just couldn't do it because I new it was x-mas and the workers needed to spend time with their families. Choosing to be happy or sad is a big choice to make. I have tried to be happy but them guilt comes over me and I think that I shouldn't be happy. I put up a good front I guess you could say I am wearing a mask. I put my mask on everyday and pretend that everything is okay but really inside I am dieing. I go to work and pretend everything is okay and people just say I can't believe how well you are doing only if they new the truth. One day I do realize that it will get easier but I think right now there will be alot more harder days to come. Peace and love to all.

12/29/2004 21:46

Hi my dear sister. First of all lets pray for all those people who have lost so much, ay my dear sisters, they have lost of their families, OMG their children, parents and God Knows what, just let pray. Selva

12/29/2004 23:14

I just lost my beautiful daughter samantha in june of 2004. she fought a long hard battle with glioblastoma brain tumor. I know she is with our lord jesus christ and she is so happy right now. Please pray for my family has we struggle with our loss.

Debbie Graham

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