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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

12/7/2004 03:32

Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before you Lord, asking that you might keep our dear Selva lifted up in your loving arms. You Lord, know her heart and see her tears, we pray Lord that You would let your loving presence be known to her, giving her comfort and peace. We pray Lord that you would give her strength to face the difficult days before her. Please lessen her grief. May she always be filled with your everlasting hope. AMEN.

Solange, you are the light in your mother's eye. Happy 23rd Birthday. Come dance in your Mamma's dreams tonight!

with much love,

12/7/2004 09:57

Hi our dear sister, my Candle is lit for you and Solange, and it carried a special prayer to Heaven for you today.
Don't forget to light two at Mass today, and you know that our hearts and love are with you as one. All the AngelKids will be helping your dear Solange celebrate her birthday today and I know she'll be with her precious Mom today too!
Love you my dear sister,
Happy Birthday Solange,
Aunt Sandy

12/8/2004 01:12

Dear Selva, ~ On this, your beloved daughter Solange's 23rd Birthday, I dedicate the following poem:

Together We Pray

I hope that you can feel the results of our prayers
That we pray throughout each day ...
We pray God will grant you fond memories of child
And those moments of peace, for which we all pray.

Moments of sadness that we feel each day
Doesn't mean that our prayers are in vain
We can't help but miss
Our child's physical presence!

The warm hugs ... The sound of their voice ...
The radiant smiles, ... We were hooked:)
From the first time we held them in our arms ... :)
Oh, what hopes, What dreams we had for our children!!!

Then, ... The suddenness of their leaving ... :(
The shattered hearts ... Unique grief!
The kind we never knew existed! ...
Our lives changed forever!

For Some, ... No chance to say good-bye!
For Some, Feelings of hopelessness ... And silent tears!
For Many, To know, ... But to hold on in vain ...
For days, For months, or Sometimes years!

For All, ... Dreams shattered!
For All, ... Such never-ending sadness!
For All, ... What indescribable Grief and Pain!
In the beginning, ... Which can last for years! ...

What seemingly, Endless PAIN!

Having traveled this path; Totally unprepared, just like you, ...
Having felt the kind of grief you now feel ... I feel qualified to say:
Your pain won't always be so intense, ...
It will become easier to bear: ... It really will! :)

Very slowly at first; But at some point in time, ...
Your shattered heart will begin to heal, ...
Only then will you know ... You've been touched by an Angel, ...
Only then will you know the "New found" JOY that I feel!

When it happens you will thank Our Heavenly Father,
You can then say to the evil one: "In your face!"
You will then know the JOY of reaching back to encourage others ...
Who unknowingly ... Are headed your way! :(

Because God uses us as His Messengers ... you see, ...
We will never give in to our pain!
Through answered prayer, We will fulfill our purpose in life, ...
Then we'll see our beloved children again!

Only God knows exactly how long it will take ...
Only God knows the depth of our pain!
Only God knows the Endless JOY that awaits ...
When will see our beloved children again!

So please see your grief as basic training
As a part of God's master plan,
To prepare you for a divine mission!
When God says you are ready, ...

You will take a stand! :)

By: Verna R. Clay
Diane's Mom
8/16/60 ~ 8/31/96

12/8/2004 01:50

Dearest Selva, We have not forgotten and as our tears mingle with yours may Healing come and know We Love You. Love&BearHugs Donna

12/8/2004 02:14

My dear Sister, ~ As you know, when it comes to sleeping, I dance to the beat of a different drummer! :) Up very late the night before, I slept most of the day! Please forgive me for not getting here earlier, and getting the poem above posted before midnight! Also, I know you understand the difficulty I am having trying to type with my sprained wrist. Then, I was trying to compose as it was given to me by the holy spirit, with our grandson present. Ha-ha! Now I know why I prefer writing late at night when it is quiet, and everyone else is sleeping! It is then that I can hear God's Holy Spirit so clearly! :)

I had our grandson over for a couple of hours tonight while the Rues attended a Christmas dinner given by the company James works for. The time went by so fast, we hardly had time to get in some real spoiling! :) He sends his love and prayers to you for Solange's special day. I allowed him to read the parts of the poem I had finished; but then I had to stop and monitor him showing me how to doctor up a frozen pizza and pre heat the oven & set the timer, ... All of which he tried to convince me he could do "All by himself!" I told him, "No way Hosea!" :) But, I must admit the finished pizza was delicious! He told me he and his dad made a pizza from scratch the night before! We also had our very first conversation about "Girls!" As you say, OMG! I am going to have to get ready for the spontaneous questions of a 10 year old! Ha-ha! But, I think our little discussion went OK! But, talk about shock! Ha-ha! Oh well, ...

Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for not getting the poem posted in time. Again, I know you understand. I will get the photo of the MADD billboard in the mail tomorrow! I will also take a picture of the candle I lit as a tribute to your beautiful and beloved Solange. I will send it to you as soon as I have the film developed hopefully at one of those 1 Hour developing shops!

Love & Hugs,


Love & Angel Hugs,

Love & Angel Hugs,

[Miss V.]


Best Wishes for the Holiday Season!

Jesus is The Reason for The Season!

12/8/2004 02:29

Sorry angel moms! :( I forgot to delete my email tags before posting! :) Sandy, if possible, Pulleeze delete! :) Now I can go TA bed!

Hey Donna! Great to see a post from you! I continue to keep you and Cher in my thoughts and prayers! As you can see, we are still giving out daily hugs that you introduced here! Big Bear Hugs to both you and Cher! :)

God's peace & blessings,


12/8/2004 09:25

My dear Angel sisters. What will I do without all of you and this wonderful Circle of Love. I thank you all for all your much needed prayers and love. Yes it is very very painful. We had Mass for Solange's Birthday last night, all of my small family were there and also a lot of my good friends and Solange's friends, it was really a beautiful Mass. After, we went outside and the kids sang Happy Birthday to Solange and they made a circle and gave me a big hug from Solange, it really touched my heart, they still remember and cry for Solange. The priest asked me to remember that she was there in spirit. Ay my sisters, I can't wait to be with my daughter again, this pain its just getting stronger by the day, I can't wait for the Holidays to be over. I thank you all again, your prayers are holding me together. I love you all. Selva

12/9/2004 10:32

Our Donna! Wow, it's so nice to see a Post from you - we really miss your Bear Hugs and Teddy Hugs, :-) in fact, we need them here, :-)
Lots of love & BEAR HUGS,

12/10/2004 21:01

Hi my dear sister Donna, Welcome back, we (and I) need you here back home. Love Selva

12/11/2004 03:09

Dear All, ~ Please storm heaven with prayer for my stepdaughter, Dinah Sue. :( We rec'd a call that she was hit by a car which came from the opposite direction, and is in the hospital with two broken legs and a hole in the back of her head. WHEW! We don't know how critical the situation. We have very few details; but have been told that she is hospitalized and in severe pain. I don't have to tell you the intense memories and emotions this news caused. Hubby seems to be handling it far better than I. :( I say "seems" to be, because I know this has to be so difficult for him and his daughter's Mom. I know how I feel, so I know she has to be very traumatized. Please pray for Dinah's Mom, and family members there also.

Hubby and I will leave very early this morning for Beaumont, TX. where the incident happened and she is hospitalized. Please pray, also, for our safety on the road there and back. If I get access to a computer, I will post an update on her condition as soon as know more. Needless to say, we are mighty grateful to our Lord and Savior that she is still alive! Thanking All in advance for your heartfelt prayers!

God's peace & blessings,


12/11/2004 03:23

Hello AngelMoms, I know it has been a while. My recovery from my surgery is going so slowly. My lung is not 100%so if i want to exert myself i end up exhausted.I have lost 49 lbs so far and you can tell if you look at my ankles; they're very skinny now.Again I want to thank you all for the prayers that brought me through. I had so many complications and together it could have killed me. But it didn't
I also have my candle ready for Sunday. I will light it and have one of his favorite suppers: spaghetti and meatballs. His other favorite was Hamburger Helper made with deer meat(yuk)
I wish I could write more, but I should be sleeping. I just wanted to let everyone know that you are in my prayers.

12/11/2004 09:32

Hi dear Miss V, oh, glad you did post it here, of course all are in my prayers and please let us know what's happening if you're able to,
Much love & Angel Hugs,

12/11/2004 09:39

Hi dear Susan, oh, take it easy, you've been through the mill and back so to speak. Wow, 49 lbs.!! You must be skin and bones by now, :-). Big congrat's!
That's the joy and love of this Circle, we keep everyone in our prayers!

Shane's favourite dinner was Shepherd's Pie, and I haven't made it once since he passed. Glad you haven't forgotten about the Candle Lighting,
Much love & Angel Hugs,

12/11/2004 09:42

Hi everyone, I had a very bad valley day yesterday and last night, you never really know what's going to trigger them, I was just consumed with sadness and longing that my Shane is no longer here and dam it I just plain miss him.
Cried and cried and let it out, miss you so much my Shaner
Love & Hugs,

12/11/2004 19:43

Ms V. Count on my prayers and of course all of your Angel sister's prayers, we will be here for you. Prayers works, and you know I am honest, I think God owes us, so our prayers will be answered.
Susan the same goes to you my dear sister, Ay my dear sister, we will Storm Heaven for your recovery, just keep the faith and we will do the rest. My Angel in chief, you are keeping quiet, and yes, yes and yes you can count on my little prayer, and when I say little it is because (and you know me) God owes us, yes He does, He has our children so the least that He can do it listening to our prayers. Love you my sisters. Selva

12/12/2004 09:51

Just a short update this morning to thank everyone who responded to my prayer request. God provided us with a beautiful day for travel and kept us safe on the busy highways both there and back. We found our beloved daughter, Dinah, doing as well as could be expected under the circumstances. The incident happened on Wednesday. She had undergone surgery either on Thursday or Friday; [I forget which]. Though she has a long way to go, we are trusting God for complete healing no matter how long it may take. So please keep her in your prayers.

Still in guarded condition and heavily sedated, we still don't have all the details of what happened. Naturally, we didn't want to bombard her with a lot of questions. But, from what we were able to find out from family, my stepdaughter was hit around a corner [just as she exited the driver side of her car]. We were told the driver was totally hysterical and that she kept saying she did not see Dinah in time to avoid hitting her. The driver was not intoxicated but was said to have been on some kind of drug; [We assume prescribed], ... And, therefore was said to have been arrested.

Since we arrived on Saturday, we could not get a copy of the accident report, but will know more once we do. Hubby and I will keep check on her via phone & email. We mostly just spent quiet time with her since she was in severe pain, plus heavily sedated most of the time. She had not eaten her breakfast, nor did she eat the lunch the brought in; but the nurse she was getting the nutrients she needed via IV. Naturally, we are just thanking God that she was spared. She underwent surgery to her right arm, and the back of her head. Both legs were broken; one, just below the knee, and the other about 6 to 8 inches above the knee. Both legs were in casts and her feet looked very swollen. The doctor who came in to check her said she was very fortunate, and that it would be 2 to 3 months of physical therapy before she out of the woods. Again, thanks to all for your prayers! I look forward to joining all for the International Candle Lighting Ceremony in loving memory of our beloved children.

Much Love & Angel Hugs,

Diane's Mom
8/16/60 ~ 8/31/96
PS: Angel Moms, thanks also for your email responses. God bless all! :)

12/13/2004 00:06

Hi dear Angel Mom Sandy, ~ When I read your post I could relate to your sadness and tears as I am sure all the other angel moms could. I don't think we ever get beyond the longing to have our children back again. Knowing in our hearts that they are safe in the arms of Jesus doesn't minimize our sadness does it? We just need to acknowledge and express it when something triggers it and believe me, I do just that whenever the need arises. So, good for you; You needed to let it out and you did. You know you have our prayers and support during times like these. The special days always have that affect on me as I know it does on all angel moms and dads. Thank God, we can come here and express exactly how we feel without being judged.

Merciful Father, please wrap your arms around our dear Sandy, and give her your peace which passes all understanding. Let her feel the warmth of her beloved Shane beside her throughout the holiday season. Please surround her with the love, compassion, and understanding of friends and family. Please comfort her, dear Father. In Jesus' name, I pray, Amen.

12/13/2004 00:21

I copied this from a goggle listing. It speaks volumes to me.

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Don't be fooled!

Posted By: Duane Adolph
Date: Sunday, 22 April 2001, at 8:48 p.m.

I'd like to share this with the board members enjoy!


Donít be Fooled

Donít be fooled by me. Donít be fooled by the mask I wear. For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks. Masks that Iím afraid to take off, and none of them are me. Pretending is an art that is second nature with me, but donít be fooled. I give the impression that Iím secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, that the waters are calm, and that Iím in command, and I need no one. But donít believe it. Please donít. My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask. Beneath lays no smugness. Beneath dwells the real me, in confusion, in fear, in loneliness. But I hide this. I donít want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weakness being exposed. Thatís why I create a mask to hide behind, to help me pretend. To shield me from the Glance that knows. Iím afraid that youíll think less of me, that youíll laugh, and that your laugh will kill me. Iím afraid that deep down inside Iím nothing. That Iím just no good, and that youíll see and reject me.

So I play my games, my desperate pretending games, with the faÁade of assurance on the outside, and a trembling child within. And so my life becomes a front. I idly chatter with you in the suave tones of surface talk, I tell you everything thatís really nothing. Nothing of whatís crying within me. So when Iím going through my routine, donít be fooled by what Iím saying. Please listen carefully, and try to hear what I am not saying, what I would like to be able to say. What for survival I need to say, but I canít say. I dislike the hiding. Honestly I do. I dislike the superficial phony games Iím playing. Iíd really like to be genuine. Iíd really like to be genuine, spontaneous, and me.

Can you help me? Help me by holding out your hand, even when thatís the last thing I seem to want or need. Each time youíre kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding, I can make it. You can breathe life into me. It will not be easy. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. But love is stronger than strong walls, and therein lies my hope.

Please try to take down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands, For a child is very sensitive, and I am a child. Who am I you may wonder? I am someone you know very well, I am every man, every woman, every child, every human you meet.

(pg, 129 The Power Principle, author: Blaine Lee)

12/14/2004 21:51

Ah yes, dear Miss V, the 'quiet sadness' as I call it that we learn to live with can and does bubble to the surface for us who may be farther along, I don't try and analyze it any more, it's just there and always will be - but the good news is that we're past the excruciating 24-7 pain that is all-consuming in the beginning. So we have our valey times, we go with the flow of them, embrace them and know that they too will pass, back into that quiet sadness.
Thank you for your prayer and everyone else, it's so wonderful to know that we're all constantly being prayed for!
Oh gosh, the Mask! We all learn to wear it so well, don't we? And we all get so darn tired sometimes that we have to wear it. But as we know so well, Society move's on so quickly and expects us to do the same, impossible, so we put on the mask.
Just some ramblings and venting......
Much love, prayers & Hugs to all,

12/16/2004 20:06

Hm, where is everyone? I'm busy getting things all prepared for this weekend, we'll be celebrating Christmas then. Chris and Jialing are going to China, leaving on the 23rd and returning on the 3rd. So we're having our family Christmas this weekend.

Anyway, our dear Susan shared this with some and I told here I was going to post it here - thank you Susan, :-)
Christmas in Heaven

Love, prayers & Angel Hugs,

12/20/2004 23:49

Hi dearest AngelMoms,
I'm here, I'm here!!! Sandy, I hope your early Christmas was a good one. I am still in the middle of decorating. It's very frustrating to have to stop and take a breather every hour; but I have no choice. My body tells me to stop and I stop!! I just mailed out my packages to my grandcuties in Germany. I feel so bad about that. I felt even worse when I watched the 6 o'clock news and they were interviewing my husband about mailing packages on the busiest day at the post office. There for all to see was my packages with my son's name and address. Now everyone that knows me and saw Russ on TV knows that I'm the procrastinating "Ma-maw that mails Christmas presents to GERMANY 5 days before Christmas. Busted!!!! :O
I pray everyone is doing well. I know this is such a hard time of year for all of us. I try to imagine the celebration going on in Heaven; I know it beats anything here on earth!!
Love, Susan
Alex's Momma
~2 Jan 83-8 May 03~

12/22/2004 07:52

Good Morning Angel Moms! ~ I pray that everyone is doing a better job of getting things done in a more timely manner than I am. :) I do this every year! I determine that this time it will be different, but it always ends up with me rushing around trying to make sure that I've not forgotten anything. This year, Christmas dinner is scheduled to be at our home, so you can imagine me trying to get the house in order with a sprang wrist, and having to take a break every few minutes or so. Still, I am thanking God for the privilege of still being able to do even a little at a time. Sue, trust me, I can relate to what you said in your post above. With me, it's always the problem of getting the cards in the mail on time. The crowds and traffic or so hectic this time of year, it's an effort to even get out there and try to get anything done. Gosh, Sue, I missed seeing your hubby on the news. I'll check with my hubby to see if he caught it since he almost always watches the news. Let me know if it might be aired again and I'll try to catch it.

Sandy, thanks for putting out the call. I, too, was wondering where everyone is. Then, it dawned on me that I was among them. :) I've been feeling a little down, but still trying to deal with all the hustle and bustle of the season. Sure hope your early Christmas celebration with family went well.

Selva, Marci, Lisa, Eva, Yvonne, Deb, Donna, Angelo, and everyone else; please check in to let us know that you are OK. If you're like me, I always try to get here to read, but sometimes don't post. It warms my heart just to see a post from everyone. Just a short note to let everyone know that you're OK. No need to ramble; ... Right Sandy? Ha-ha! Which reminds me, ... I'd better stop while I'm ahead.

Love & Hugs to All,

Diane's Mom
8/16/60 ~ 8/31/96

12/22/2004 16:07

Oh gosh, am I pleasantly surprised! I decided to check the Circle today and wow, a great post from you Susan and you Miss V!!
It's so pretty here right now, there's a gentle snowfall, big fat flakes that you want to stick your tongue out and let them land on, just as we did as kids, :-). Beautiful!

Our 'Christmas' last weekend was so wonderful, not only was there a huge lift off my shoulders by having it ahead of time, but it was so nice to have Chris and Jialing here for the weekend! We talked and laughed and opened gifts, played Christmas Carols, had turkey with all the trimmings and ate way too much, we all sat around after the meal groaning, :-). We lit our Candle at the table before saying Grace for our Shane, then on Sunday afternoon Chris and Jialing left to go back home.
He's calling home tonight to say good-bye, in the morning they leave for China, a 17 hr. flight! I'll be worried sick until the plane touches down, because that's what mothers do is worry, right. I hope he has the time of his life there, he's been working so hard lately and he need's a rest - although I don't know how much he'll be resting, they have quite a bit of sight-seeing to do! So our Christmas is over, Christmas Day we're going to rent some DVD's and watch movies and snuggle up on the couch. Because we had our Christmas early, I don't feel the trepidation over it as I usually do.

Oh gosh yes dear Susan, if you're still experiencing breathlessness, just take your time and do what you can - delegate the rest if possible (I know it's not always possible!). Oh Susan, I had to laugh at getting busted big time on TV, lol, of all people to interview it had to be your hubby with your grandcuties parcels!!

Ha, ha, yes Miss V, you were one of them, :-) so it's nice to read your post! Oh goodness, get Rue to help you with it all, course you know what we women are like sometimes, only WE can do it ourselves, :-).

Yes, it's still a very sad time of the year I pray all of you are doing well too, and yes Susan, just think of that big party in Heaven that our children will be celebrating.
Still, I think Christmas has to be the hardest day for bereaved moms and dads, it's so much a family Holiday as well as a religious one and memories of happier times spent with our child present become painful, and even unbearable.

So If I had one gift to give each of you, it would be the gift of peace and hope, and I'm asking God to give it to all right now.

Love you all, lots of Tender Hugs,

12/22/2004 19:22

Hello Mom's and Dad's and Siblings,
Would like you all to know my thoughts and prayers are with you now as this hard time of Xmas comes and goes while you are without your loved ones...I made a special page just for those who hurt during the holidays...Here it is:

When The Holidays Hurt

Have a huge burden on my heart for you all Bereaved Families...

Love Angela xo

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