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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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shaner
11/5/2001 07:26

Hello Renea, I'm so sorry to read about your loss of your precious beautiful Avery Lee. As you remember his birthday, it brings up the sadness within you and we can all relate to that. When we lose a child, a future goes with that child also, just as you have so aptly put in your post. We will always wonder "what if". And of course that's perfectly normal, something or somebody is missing, the spirit of your beloved son, who is still around you, but it's their physical presence that we miss so much. And missing the child we've lost has nothing to do with the love we have for our other children, they are special in their own way just as the child that we have lost was special in his/her own way. Anniversaries and birthdays are always very difficult days for us, but our faith carries us through them and onto the next.
We will pray for you to come through this sadness and that you do find inner peace. May God bless you and comfort you as only He can.
Luv Sandy


s74jst
11/7/2001 10:18

Today marks the 3rd month that my son Mick has been gone he was 16. Mick took his life and along with it went my heart. The pain of losing a child out bares any other pain or loss that I have ever been through. I do have two other children, and the 1st thing I said was how was I going to be a mother to these two and still be able to grieve. It has been hard but I know that with Gods help and the prayers of family and friends I will come thru this. We will never get over it, but we will learn how to deal with it. Missing him is the hardest. I thank god that we can have a place to write our feelings and not feel so alone. I will keep all of you in my prayers.


shaner
11/7/2001 14:25

Hello s74jst, I'm so happy that you found this Circle and I pray you receive comfort from it as I have and have so many others. I am so sorry to read about the loss of your beloved son Mick. This must be a very difficult day for you, the third month anniversary of his passing. Your grief and loss is so recent you must still be in shock and a great deal of pain, God bless you.
Grief is hard and it is biting. It penetrates your very soul. When it strikes, it is sharp and mean. The first year is spent in disbelief, pain, and shock. So as I tell all mothers during the first year, be very gentle with yourself, give yourself lots of time to come to a safe place with this, read every book that you can on grieving and loss, and find ways to honour the life and spirit of your son. Yes, the missing and longing is the hardest. I pray that you have support and help, people that you can lean on, because it's a very hard road to go down alone. You can post here anytime, all of us on these pages have lost children and are in various stages of grief and accepting, as much as one can. This Circle is a safe haven for grieving moms. You will definitely be in our prayers, as you struggle with your feelings, and I know firsthand how good Our Heavenly Father is to grieving moms. Pray often yourself, even through your tears, for He knows how hard it is for you right now.
May God in His goodness bless you and yours, and our prayers go out to you.
Luv Sandy


S74JST
11/8/2001 06:54

Dear Shaner,

Thank you so much for your kind & understanding words. I don't hear them that often. Everyone seems to go their own way and forgets. I feel so alone at times. I go to 3 support groups a month and I am with others that have the same pain daily, I just wish that support could be more at home. I will continue to check in daily here. I feel as though I have a new family. Thank you.


shaner
11/8/2001 09:11

Hello S74JST, I'm happy that my words helped you out a bit, yes, the hard part of grief and pain when you lose a child is the fact that the rest of the world still goes on, while we sometimes feel like an outsider just looking on, for our world has been turned upside down.
I'm so happy to hear that you are attending Support Groups, they helped me immensely through that awful first year, only another mom who has lost a child can really relate to how you're feeling and will listen to your own story and how your loss has affected you, so please keep going, especially if you're not getting much support from home. It's very difficult though, for others to understand, so now I can see why some family members think and act the way they do, not really understanding the state you're in. YES, you have a new family, and post here anytime, LOVE2U will probably post to you also, she is a sweetie. God bless you, and our prayers are with you!
Luv Sandy


cindys1021
11/10/2001 23:17

S74JST. I'm so glad you found Shaner and this circle. You can see that you are NOT ALONE. I found this circle shortly after my 20 yr. old daughter Kristina died (March 15, 2001). She was diagnosed with Acute Mylogeneous Leukemia on Feb.22 and died on 3/15. Now I rely on the words and prayers of those I have met and talk to that have also lost a child. Yes, I agree, it is the most painful thing we will ever experience - but the Heavenly Father weeps with you, and carries you through the dark days. God Bless you and your precious angel Mick. Please email me at cindys1021@hotmail.com so that I can add Mick's name to my angel signature (if you'de like).


LOVE2U
11/11/2001 04:32

s74jst~ Oh, how my heart goes out to you! Lord knows I, too, have experienced the tragic, and unexpeted loss of a child. The oldest of our two daughters, Beverly "Diane" was killed in a tragic chain reaction wreck involving two cars, two pick-up trucks,and drunk driving. The wreck happened August 31, 1996. When I first heard the news, I knew that life for me would never again be the same. My grief was so severe, I asked God to please just let me die! But God; (thank You Jesus!) acted as though He didn't even hear me! Please review some of my earlier post here at this sight, and you will understand why God didn't answer that particular prayer request!

This is my first post in quite a while. But, even on days that I don't get around to posting, I still pray! Like Sandy and all the other parents who post here, I pray for all who have lost a child! That means that even before God led you to this sight, you and your family were being prayed for by all who post here in our prayer circle.

As you continue to move along your painful journey, you will find that you are not alone in your sorrow. Here, you will be embraced with prayer, love, compassion, and understanding of what it must be like for you, due to your loss!

Dear God,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for inspiring Sandy to create this compassionate prayer circle. Thank You, Father for leading each of us to this particular prayer circle, because of the overpowering love, compassion and prayers and prayer request that gives us the strength to continue on our painful journey! Thank you for giving each of us the desire to reach out to others, even as we grieve our own personal losses. Oh, God, please right now Lord, allow our most recent sister-friend s74jst, to feel Your powerful arms around her; especially during times when she may feel that she is grieving alone. God, please let her know that we do understand that losing a child is by far, a mother's worst nightmare! And God, I stress this point: I beg of you, please let her know that there will come a time when the grief is not so intense. Let her know, Father, that she must allow herself as much time as she feels she needs, to grieve, the loss of her precious son, Mick. These things I ask, in Your Son Jesus' name. Amen!





beba51
11/11/2001 11:07

God bless all of you, I know your pain. I lost my 26 year old daughter Jennifer on July 14,2001. She was a graduate student at UNO and would have graduated next month. She was engaged to the love of her life and would have been married on 4-27-02. She went to Haiti in June to repair a water system and provide improved sanitation for a peasent village. She came home and died 2 weeks later. I still can not believe she is gone. I need someone to talk to in the same situation. Email me at gunnyrad@earthlink.net.God Bless all of us.


shaner
11/11/2001 12:53

Hello beba51, I'm so sorry to read of your precious loss also, and so very recent. In your intense grief and pain, please remember you're not alone, you have this Circle where you will be prayed for, and you have Our Heavenly Father more importantly, who will be by your side as you go through this awful time, especially the first year or two. Disbelief, shock and pain are what we feel during this time, we just can't comprehend our loss, it's just too enormous to grasp it all at this time. I'll tell you what I tell all mothers, be very kind and gentle with yourself, for you are grieving, and you need a lot of time to be able to grasp the loss of your beloved Jennifer. It's an awful pain, isn't it, it's like no other, but take some comfort from us here at this Circle who have also experienced this pain and loss, and lean heavily on God, He will help you through and comfort you. Your daughter Jennifer sounds like a wonderful young lady, going to Haiti to help others, just think of all the lives she touched, other than your own, who will remember the kindness that she showed and by her wonderful example of love for fellow man! Remember, love never dies, so the love that you shared with your beloved Jennifer will live on forever and will keep you connected to her. May God in His goodness and love bless you and your family, and post here whenever you want.
Luv Sandy


renea27
11/11/2001 19:44

Sandy,
Thank you for your response to my post it really help me get through these past few days. Avery was born on November 4th, died the 6h and we buried him on the 8th.
The pain never goes away but I have learn to live with it. Around this time of year the pain becomes more intense. I do not talk about him much because the response I get is well at lest he died a few days after he was born and not years or months later.
as if his death is supposed to hurt less or they say well you can have more children.
I am glad that God led me to this circle because i have a place to write about my feelings and about him
In his love
Renea


shaner
11/11/2001 21:18

Renea,
You carried little Avery for nine months beneath your heart, now you carry him in your heart. A loss of a child is a loss, whatever the age. It's so very unfortunate that those around you don't want to hear you talk about Avery, because that's the way you let your pain out and acknowledge the life that you carried and gave birth to. But, as many other mothers will tell you, you're not alone in this respect. Even those of us who lost our children at older ages experience the same thing. People are sympathetic for a while, then because they are able to go on with their lives, they don't understand why we can't. But, as I posted to S74jst, how can people possible understand our pain when they haven't experienced it themselves. Only another mom or dad could possibly know of the terrible pain and sadness that encomannies a child's passing. It's a club that none of us want to belong to, but here we are. God gave you little Avery for a reason, He doesn't make mistakes, so you honour his little life anyway you want to, and of course you will never forget him, even if you do go on and have other children when the time comes. You're experiencing a lot of pain right now, not only because of your loss, but because also his anniversary and birthday have just passed. God bless you sweetie, and you do have a safe haven here to talk, vent, request prayers or just to write about how you're feeling. I am happy that God led you to this Circle also, we're all praying for you and you're among safe, loving company. May God in His goodness and love give you some peace.
Luv Sandy


Debondock
11/12/2001 11:12

I have read many of the prayers, and experiences shared. My prayers go to all of you. Please pray also for a friend of mine who has just lost their daughter. This girl was the light of her family. Her father's recent bout with cancer was answered with her shaving her head to encourage her dad when he was suffering the affects of chemo. The young lady saw her father through his difficulty and wanted to return to school, but deciding to branch out a little decided to do a semester in Hawaii. She left a week ago. The day after she arrived in Hawaii she was walking the beach with her traveling companion. A rogue wave swept her out to sea quickly, and unfortunately permanently. The search has just been cancelled this morning. Please pray for these parents. They need all the light that we pray for on their behalf.
I'm so happy to have found this website. God's love and blessings to all.


shaner
11/12/2001 13:02

Hello Debondock, I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your friend's daughter, and so tragically. She sounds like a very special person, doing what she did for her beloved dad during his illness. Her family must be in complete shock. They will definitely be prayed for here, and I'm glad you found this Circle also, God bless you. Thank you for your prayers and kind thoughts, they are much appreciated! May Our Heavenly Father have this family in the cup of His Hands at this trying time for them.
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
11/12/2001 20:02

Debondock~Thank you for your prayers and also for your prayer request for your dear friend who lost her precious daughter so recently! Having lost the oldest of my two daughters,tragically and without warning, I can promise you; she will need all the love, compassion, and support you can give to her, for a very long time. It's been a little over 5 years since I lost my precious daughter, and I can still feel the loss; especially during special days! Although my grief is easier to bear, now that some time has passed, there are times when it seems like yesterday. My heart goes out to your friend and her husband. Please, please, please,...allow her to talk about her child, if she indicates the need to do so! Let her know that it's alright for her to express her grief in her own way and as often as long as she feels the need to! God bless you for standing by her. Please know that your friend and her family will be prayed for here.

Dear God, Thank you for sending Debondock to this prayer circle to request prayer for her friend. God, you already know how these parents and other family members, and close friends are hurting. Father, I am asking You, from the bottom of my heart, to wrap Your loving arms around these grieving parents and the rest of their family. Let them know, Lord, that You can, and will, stand by them and guide them through this nightmare. Then, too, Father, let them know that they are being prayed for by other parents who have also lost their precious children. I thank You, Father, for hearing my heartfelt prayer! In Jesus' name, Amen


chynadog
11/13/2001 17:47

Dear Lord, thank you for the time you allowed Shaner to be here with his parents and showing them your love through his actions and ways. I pray that through your loving touch the pain will ease and in time subsude enough to carry on.
Even through your time in the garden before that day on Calvery, you prayed to Your Father in hopes for some easier way. It wasn't easier for you and it sure isn't for us parents who have lost a child, but I know that through you and with you, we will be united once again with those we lost.
I pray that with each day Shaner's mom and dad find strength to tell others of the love they have for their son and the opes they have of seeing him again with you in your kingdom.
May Shaner keep a loving watch over those previously in his life that were left here to carry on. May we all who read of him and others posted here come to a peacefull time and just remember.
I ask this in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
AMEN


shaner
11/13/2001 20:02

chynadog, what a beautiful prayer! I thank you from the bottom of my heart, it was very heartfelt, and I know other moms here will appreciate it for their losses also. I'm sorry to read that you've also experienced the loss of a child, I pray that you are doing well, and leaning heavily on your faith.
Yes, I have every confidence that one day, I and our family, will see our dearly loved son again, and that brings me a lot of comfort. And I know that he does watch over us, and he prays for us too, just as all the other children on these pages pray for their moms and dads, and they too will one day see them again. Love never dies, only the body.
Thank you once again for the lovely prayer, and our prayers go out to you also!
Luv Sandy


s74jst
11/14/2001 16:04

WOW, I am just so amazed at the overwelming love and support the I have received from this site. Our computers were down for two days at work and I was going nuts. I am so glad that we have all found this site and thanks to Sandy for starting it. Thank you CINDYS1021 AND LOVE2U for your kind words and support. I was just told from one of my groups that I need to be kind to myself and that is my next step. How I don't know but I will try. I guess we all have to go thru these "baby steps" to get to the next plateau, boy do they take a long time but with Gods help and the support of everyone here I know I will be alright. CINDYS, I will give you a ring soon. I pray for all those that have lost a child that we can find the strength that we need from GOD and Jesus our lord and Saviour, in Jesus name AMEN! love stephanie


joseph16
11/15/2001 11:51

I have read a lot of these pages, and compared to all the mothers out there who have lost an older child, and especially having 3 myself, I know my loss is not that bad. But still I wonder about why. One month ago today I found out I miscarried in the end of my fourth month. The odd thing is that he was a boy. I have three daughters. Both my and my husband's birthday is the same-and it was the due date of the son I always wanted. I just wonder why God put him here for such a short while, with our birthdays all alike, just to take him away? I am comforted greatly by my three daughters and so my loss is not as great, as they give out such love. How long is it before you catch up with the rest of the world and start living again? My email is esiemons@yahoo.com if you would like to write me.


shaner
11/15/2001 12:53

s74jst - Stephanie, I'm so happy that you found this Circle and feel the love, compassion and friendship here to help you along on your own Journey of Grief. We're all in the same 'club', trying to make sense of the senseless, and trying to come to terms with what has happened to us all, the loss of one of our beloved children. And here at this Circle, we all draw strength and love and prayer from each other as we each continue on our own roads. I'm SO happy for you that you feel that love and compassion, and I hope you also gather some strength from all our wonderful moms who post!
This Circle is truly a blessing for me, and I thank Our Heavenly Father for using me as the instrument to further His work, in this Ministry. And as I have said so many times, this Circle belongs to all, every mom or dad who posts here is honoured and prayed for.
Yes, being gentle with yourself is so important for you right now, you're in grief and you're also very vunerable. So cry when you want, make no excuses, try not to put yourself in situations socially where you won't feel comfortable, try and get plenty of rest, for grieving is very draining, emotionally of course as well as physically. Give yourself plenty of 'room' and 'space' to honour your feelings, accept them, and tell your story often, for in telling it, you help to release some of the terrible pain. Gosh yes, it all starts out with baby steps, that's the only way to start this Journey, but as your grief progresses, you will one day take larger ones, but at your own pace, and not at the pace others believe you should be at! God bless you sweetie, and know that you are being prayed for, with support and the help of Our Heavenly Father, you will get through this, and learn how to live with it. He is very good to grieving moms! Hope to see more postings from you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
11/15/2001 13:08

joseph16, you've just experienced the trauma of losing your baby. So it's only natural that you're going through a grieving stage, and question why God would allow this to happen. You may even be angry with Him at this time, but He understands your questioning and your pain and anger. No, you may not have 'known' your child, but nevertheless you lost him and any loss is devastating. You'll probably reflect during your life, the 'what if's' as we call them, and that's very natural. For whatever reason, God called your little boy back home, I know it's a bitter pill to swallow, and it's painful, but His ways are not our ways, so we have no answers for you here, but know that you will be prayed for here, shown love and compassion, as you come to terms with your heart wrenching loss, God bless you. A loss is a loss, at whatever stage in life, so give yourself time to grieve for the child that may have been, and may Our Lord walk beside you as you struggle to come to terms with it. It doesn't happen overnight, but honouring your grief and expressing it helps tremendously, so in time, you will find some peace. May God in His goodness bless you and your family, and know that you're not alone.
Luv Sandy


Linda_16
11/15/2001 18:57

My prayer goes out to each and everyone of you. I have recently lost a daughter,
a cousin and my daughter's boyfiend. It was a triple homicide, my daughter was 20 years old. They were killed on October 24, 2001, this has been the hardest thing that I have had to deal with in my life. She was my life, she was my best friend, I am just asking for prayers, I pray everyday that God will give me the strength to overcome the pain that I have in my heart. Please pray for our family.


shaner
11/15/2001 20:52

Linda 16, Oh gosh sweetie, my heart goes out to you over this terrible tragedy. Losing your child is terrible enough, but also her boyfriend, and a cousin also. I truly pray that you have a lot of support! You must be in so much pain and shock. Nothing I can say to you right now is going to help much, it's just happened to you, so I turn it over to Our Heavenly Father for you, Our Lord is the great comforter and you will need Him as you come to terms with this horrific event. Please know that we send our love, kind thoughts and most definitely prayers out to you and your family at this time. Our sincerest condolences. Please post back here whenever you feel like it. In the meantime, we will storm Heaven for you for spiritual and physical strength at this time.
Luv Sandy


robbiecakes30
11/16/2001 01:17

I CAN SO RELATE TO YOUR LOSSES.PLEASE ADD MY FAMILY TO YOUR PRAYER LIST..WE LOST TWO OF OUR SONS ANDREW SEAN 9YRS 9 MONTHS AND BRANDON JACOB 10 DAYS FROM HIS 6TH BIRTHDAY TO A HOUSE FIRE..WE FEEL SO DEVASTATEDAND LOST WITHOUT OUR PRECIUOS BOYS IN OUR LIVES..I NEVER KNOW YOU COULD FEEL SO MUCH PAIN AND SORROW..ALL I CAN SAY AND PRAY EVEYDAY IS FOR GOD TO HELP ME..MY HEARTACHE HAS ENTERED THE VERY CORE OF MY SOUL AND IT IS SHATTERED...I MISS THEM SO VERY MUCH.THEY DIED 11/13/99.
ROBBIE


cindys1021
11/16/2001 02:02

Linda_16: We share your suffering and pain - the journey you are now on will take you places never imagined - good and bad, but prayers and support of others will see you through it all. I recently lost my 20 yr. old da
daughter (March, 2001) and I know exactly what you mean about her being your best friend - REMEMBER . . . She will be with you always - take care of you, and May you be in the company of Angels today, and always.

 
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