Prayer Circles

Hi Yvonne. I'm sorry I did not posted earliers, I was been selfish on my own pain, I am so sorry about your husband, I know that feeling Solange was an Organ donor and she saved someone with the liver, so I know all about he waiting and suffering, I managed through a miracle to get in touch with one of Solange's recipients (pancreas and kidney) so I know all about the pain, and the waiting and also about getting ready, keep the faith. One thing I always make a point is to become Organ donors, I preach about it because I know it is so important to the ones waiting, unfortunaly so many people don't think or discussed about it within the family, and it is so important.My prayers are with you and your husband, I will pray very hard that someone decided to be an Organ Donor, and if God decided it was their turn to go to Heaven, at least they can give life to other people. Love Selva

Hi my dear sister Ang. I will send Solange's picture to you tomorrow, promise, right now I am so sad, crying, and tired that I can not do it, but count o it tommorrow, again Thank you so much for your web site about solange, it realy touched my heart. love you my dear sister. Selva

Hi Selva, ~ I know this is still a difficult time for you. I am praying that God will help you through this very difficult period. My day was quiet and uneventful. I decided to stay up all night so that I would sleep most of the day. Later this evening, I went out to the scene of the accident and replaced Diane's cross. The old cross and plaque with her name, birth date and heavenly date had been removed by city workers; I guess when they cut the grass along side the highway. Today was also the first day of school here, so Cheryl had to work. She is doing substitute teaching again this year at the school where I taught. So I did the cross thing alone. The unbearable grief of years gone by is no longer there. Just a quiet sadness this time. No tears; just missing my Diane's physical presence. Then I came back home and played a new game on my "new" computer for a while; just to pass time and keep my mind busy. Couldn't play long through. :( Can't wait until the hands/wrists get better so I can spend longer periods posting to everyone on a regular basis.

Thank you for remembering Diane's birthday today. I am sure your Solange and the other angel kids helped her to celebrate in the beautiful heavenly gardens. Thanks also for posting at her memorial site. :)

Below is a link which contains a sample from a book written by someone who has lost a child tragically. Sometimes, I find it helps to know that there are many others who can relate to what it feels like to lose a part of yourself. I will be sharing some more links on grief topics also. I pray that it helps ease your pain if only for a little while. It just takes a lot of time, my sister, so do not try to keep it inside. Crying is healthy and helps with the healing of your heart. Sharing fond memories may also help. Grieving; especially the loss of a beloved child is very hard work. So again, take all the time you need and do what feels right to you to make it through the tough moments. Remember, ... One minute, 5 minutes, one hour, and eventually, one day at a time.

I will be up for another hour or two, so if you or any of our other angel moms need to talk about how you are feeling I will be here. God's peace and blessings to all.
Love & Angel Hugs,
Verna
Diane's Mom
8/16/60 ~ 8/31/96
vclay100@aol.com

I forgot I don't know how to do a link! but you can try typing it in your brouser, or go to google and search for books on grief.

Click here: Amazon.com: Books: How to Survive the Loss of a Child: Filling the Emptiness and Rebuilding Your Life

Hello Yvonne! :) Good to see a post from you! Thank you for the happy birthday wish to my Diane. :) And a very happy birthday to your granddaughter Zoe! I remember she was born on the same day as Diane. Sorry to hear about your hubby. I will keep all of you in my heartfelt prayers! I pray that God will provide everything he needs for a full recovery! God bless you and family!
Love & Angel Hugs,
Verna

Hello our dear Miss V, I'm sorry I couldn't come here yesterday and post for Diane's Birthday, but you know my thoughts and love were with you, Happy (belated)Birthday, Diane! and please keep looking after your Mama.

Yvonne! Terrific to see you posting again, thanks so much for letting us know about you and your hubby, family and how things are going for you all, I just know that your hubby is going to get that call soon and the waiting and stress will be over. Very happy to know though that his overall health is good and he's not hospitalized, still at home with you! No, it won't be easy to be away from home that long, but the Dr's at the Mayo Clinic are some of the best in the world, and you never know, your hubby may recuperate faster and they may let him come home earlier than the 3-4 weeks, I pray anyway. Yes, your Grandcuties, :-) I can't claim that term as mine, someone else coined it, but I think it's a very cute one for Granchildren. Happy (belated) Birthday Zoe, imagine, both of them 2 now, I can remember you announcing their births here, time does fly, doesn't it! I know they're both the apples of their Grandparents eyes, :-).
Oh yes, Sharon, (Prettybird), she was posting here for a while, having a very hard time, and she told me in an e-mail that an Yvonne had told her about the Circle, so I just assumed it was you - she had lost her son to a murder, so sad, but it must have been some other Yvonne she was speaking about - perhap's someone who just steered her here.
Don't worry Yvonne, you know you have our love, prayers and support especially during this time for you both, they'll be going with you when that call does come! May God bless you both as well as your dear family and may He give you His peace and comfort in the days, weeks ahead,
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

steve is still not out of the woods. keep praying,every day up and down.
god bless you, Chris

(((((Selva)))))

Your Darling Daughter (((((Solange))))) is soooo beautiful...what a gorgeous young lady!!!! I have place Solange's picture on the page and I need her Birthdate please and if you would like a poem, just email one to me. I'm not feeling well, so I sleep and rest alot but inbetween will do it up. Hugs mi hermana!
Love Angela

Oh no dear Chris, I thought it was looking hopeful but be assured of our continued prayers for Steve, God bless you for posting about it,
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

OMG dear Chrs, of course we will Storm Heaven with prayers for Steve, please keep us posted, God Bless you my sister. Selva

Hi my dear sister Angela. Thank you so very much, you gave me the best gift since Solange. It is such a beautiful site, I can not thank you enough, and thanks for sharing that beautiful poem with us. You are an Angel here on Earth, God Bless you my dear sister. Love Selva

Hi my dear sister Miss V. I just sent you an e mail, but please take it easy with your hands, we all need to read that book, and remember you have to go to Oprah. Love you my dear brave sister. Selva

[1]
Hi my dear sister. How well I remember what it felt like to have no desire to go on after my beloved Diane was taken from me so suddenly, so tragically, and so without warning. When I say that it will get better, I don't mean that you will stop missing your precious angel, Solange. That will go on forever. It will be 8 years since I lost Diane, and the pain of missing her is still with me each and every day. The difference is, I have been on my grief journey long enough to handle the pain of missing her in a different way. Like any parent who has lost their precious child, I would have given my life if it would have saved her from dying. In my heart, I still would give my life if it meant that it would bring her back. But, I came to realize that no matter how much I wish it had been all a bad dream, I have to wake up and face each new day in a world in which my child no longer exists in the physical. In order to go on, I had to work through my all of those stages of grieving that we hear and read so much about. If I could have done it in a year or two, or three, or for however long and be done with it, ... [The pain of missing her], I think I could have could have handled that a lot better than learning that I would never get completely beyond grieving the loss of my child. As you and Sandy know, I have suffered many losses both before and after I lost Diane. My mother, my last two brothers, and a couple of nieces and a nephew have died since Diane. Yes, I still miss all of them and wish they too were still here. But, my grief over missing all of them combined, doesn't come close to the kind of grief I experienced when I lost my child.

[2]
Diane, was a part of me. I think that is what has made the difference in the amount of time, and the magnitude of the grief that I felt during the beginning stages of grieving the loss of my child. I kept trying to reach a specific point where I could feel that I had finally made it, and the heaviness in my chest that I felt so strongly in the beginning would just go away! So in a sense, I was fighting a losing battle, because I never did get to that point, and once I realized there was no end to it, I simply refused to accept it. I just couldn't do it! Right? :) Ha-ha! Once I realized that it was not necessary to get over losing my child, ... Once I accepted the fact that there would always be times when I would long to hold my child close, to see her smile, to hear her laugh, or tell her how much I love her, ... Once I accepted that it was really OK to continue missing my child for as long as I live, I began to experience the joy of having her with me in spirit every single day, all through the day and night if I so desired. In fact, I began to realize that Diane was closer to me now than when she was here with me in the physical.

[3]
Now, instead of dealing with the unbearable pain of missing her, I have learned how to enjoy the peace of having her with me spiritually, all the time. I talk to her, I imagine the things she would say if she was here in the physical. I write to her, and tell her all that I am trying to accomplish before God calls my name. I seek out people who are where I was at one time. I imagine how proud she is of her Mama. :) For whatever reason, ... God called Diane's name while she was just beginning to live. I don't know why, but He did. I believe that since He did, there has to be a reason I am still here. So I try to do a little good each day, even as I long to see my child again. When Diane was alive, she was on the go all the time. She had a job, attended collage courses at night, sang at many funerals and weddings on weekends, spent time with family and friends, and was like a second mom to all the youngsters in our family, including our only grandson, Steven. :) I saw Diane about a week before the accident. I talked with her on the telephone Friday, August 30, 1996. She was killed Saturday, August 31, 1996. Whew! :) In the book, Chain Reaction, ... under the topic; Our Last Telephone Conversation, ... It ends with me telling Diane to stop by tomorrow, to pick up a craft doll that I was making, for one of her friends. Her reply was, "OK, Mama, ... I'LL see you tomorrow!" Then, she said, ... "NO, no, no... Not tomorrow, ... Because I have some running around I have to do. So, I will see you Sunday!" And then, ... We said our last good-bye!

[4]


Yes, I went out to the sight of the accident alone. Not because I wanted to, but because Diane's dad didn't offer to go with me. Cheryl and James had to work, but no one acknowledged openly that they remembered it was Diane's birthday! Now, I had a choice. I could have gotten very angry at everyone, or, I could use that energy doing something that meant a lot to me. I chose the latter, and you know what? I felt my Diane's presence, and also God's presence. So, you see, my sister, it really does get better in time. But, God's time! Not ours! God is going to wipe away your tears, too, my sister. You just have to give yourself time to grieve. When I was where you are now, I was a holy mess! I don't think I was even able to pray to God at that stage. I think I was still feeling so bad I thought I wanted to die! It took me three years and three weeks before I came out of my fog! I didn't know I needed help until it was almost too late. Ha-ha! So God really did have mercy on me! But I can tell you now, my sister, ... I was like having a heavy cross lifted off of my shoulders! I know it was God who came to my rescue; not that deserved it, because I knew in my heart that I didn't. At least, it appeared that way to me. That's why it is so important to remember that God'd ways are not our ways! :) I was much harder on myself than God was! You see, I found out that God really does understands what we are going through, and how hard it is for us to go on! So, as Sandy would say, ... Be kind to yourself. You deserve to let your feelings out! I did, and so has a lot of other angel moms who are farther along. The day will come when you will feel joy in life again. Not like before, but you will reach a point where the pain will not be so intense! Until that happens, pamper yourself and grieve in your own way! That is the only way to survive. God will send the help you need to do it, and your Solange will be with you in spirit all the way! And so will all of us angel moms and those who pray for us!
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Verna

Your Post #2 dear Miss V, exactly, right on the point. I couldn't have articulated it any better, this is the way I handle Shane not being in my life physically anymore, yes we still crave that physical loss so heavy at time's, but it does get better in time all my dear sisters, so please hold onto that hope and hold onto the love, it keep's you connected with your child, what greater emotion or feeling is there than love? It's source is Divine, so nothing, not even time, can take it away,
Much love & lots of Tender Hugs,
Sandy

My dear dear Miss V. Thanks so much for your post, it gives me some hope that maybe I will feel a little better, but so far no way, I feel worse by the day, even though I have come a long way, by going to all the workshops and learning about Life after Death, I know that our children are still with us, they are just in another dimension which our human eyes can not see, but they are well and happy, but I am still a lousy human being and I need to see my daughter just once again and to tell you the true I keep asking God to take me ASAP, I just want to be with my little girl. No I won't commit suicide, I am against it even that many many times I have consider it, but it is up to God to take me, not myself, and that makes it harder, all I ask of Him is to give me strenght to go on, there are many times when I feel so weak, with no energy to even get up and go to work which is the only thing I do to keep my mind busy. I thank God for you, Sandy and all these wonderful Angel Moms, you have kept me alive. God Bless you. Love you a lot. Selva

Hello Mrs. V, (mom) this is James I just want to tell you that we love you very,very,very,very, muchhhhhhhh.Cheryl remembered Diane's brithday she always remind me. We both have gotten back on that roller coaster since school has started. Mom we feel you and you are in our prayer everyday we love you. James

[1]
Dear James, ~ Please know that I feel that love so deeply each and every day! I pray constantly that God will continue to bless you, Cheryl, grandson Steven, [My 3 Rues], in every way! :) I just hope the 3 of you know that my love for you is unconditional, even as I feel the sadness of missing my other Rue, Diane. :) Having lost your on dear mother,... and then your beloved father so recently, I know you can relate to the quiet sadness that settles in. Thank God, you have the unique ability to reach out to others, to express love and compassion in a helpful manner, even as you deal with your own grief and loss over the deaths of your beloved parents. Because I know that you and my daughter are spiritually led, and devoted to your own outreach ministry, I don't worry too much about the two of you surviving and even feeling a measure of joy, even as you grieve your losses. I do, however, worry about papaw! He really is in a lot of pain right now, because he finds it hard to acknowledge how badly he is hurting! I can see it in his eyes, and hear it in his voice when on very rare occasions he mentions Diane's name. He looked so hurt when I told him where I was going on Diane's birthday. :( He said he didn't know it was her birthday!

[2]
Of course, I know he remembered; but he still cannot deal with sharing his heartfelt pain! So, to help him, I simply told him that he had given Diane her flowers while she could see, smell, and touch them! I also told him that the things I do, I was doing for me; not Diane! And then I reminded him of what MaDear used to tell us about giving her flowers while she could see them! That brought a smile to his face! He also looked relieved when he saw I wasn't upset with him. :) We both laughed [and he shook his head] when I reminded him of my response to MaDear, every time she would tell us that she wouldn't know anything about what we did after she was gone! [She said the things we did; Like taking her to pay her bills or taking her to the grocery store, and to the doctor, etc. was her flowers!] :) I always responded with, "Oh, I know you won't see them, ... but I WILL!" Ha-ha! Then, I remember she would laugh that joyful laugh of hers,... And then she would say, ... "God bless you!" :) God, how I do miss her! :) So, I am telling you, Cheryl, & my grandson Steven: Just for the record: You have given me my flowers! You do so everyday! ... When you pray for me, ... When you love me in spite of all my faults! ... When you accept me just as I am! And, sometimes, that AIN'T easy, - As you know! [laugh], ... Sometimes you have to STOP, DROP, AND ROLL! Ha-ha! (Our little secret, OK?) :) So, ya'll keep praying for Yo crazy mama, and know that "It is well with my soul!" :) Pearl just called. :) Gotta go meet Ashley's school bus at 10 min. to 3! :) She was soooo excited about attending her first full day of BIG school! Hug my other Rues for me, ... and you too!
Much Love & Angel Hugs,
Mom

Ay Miss V. What a wonderful family you have! Count your blessings, I know you do. Love you too my dear sister, you deserve all the love in the world. Selva

First, I want to thank you for your kind words, dear Selva. :) Yes, I am truly blessed to be surrounded with the love of family, my online family of angel moms and prayer warriors, and all of God's children who stop by to offer prayers, or allow us to share their pain; post prayer requests, or words of comfort to all our angel moms who are hurting so deeply! Even when we are still angry, and cannot understand why me, and why my child, ... Even though we sometimes feel that God has let us down, God is so good to us and He just keeps right on blessing us and our wonderful circle of love! Thank you Sandy and Beliefnet for making it all possible for us to join hands and pray for each other so that no one will ever have to carry their cross alone! And, thank You Lord, for making it all possible for us to become forever friends! Thank You for and standing by us; even when we are too much in pain to feel Your presence. We know by faith that You understand and that You love us unconditionally! We know by faith that You have not and will not give up on us, because we are Your children! To God be the glory!

Keep hanging in there my sister; I pray God will give you moments of peace, and send you a sign from your beautiful Solange soon! In Jesus' name, Amen!
Love & Angel Hugs,
Verna

Good night Angela, and thanks, Sis, for adding the poem listings to my page! You are an God's chosen earth angel to us angel moms, and so many others who are in pain! God bless you! Good night all, and God bless!
Love and Angel Hugs,
Verna