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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.

5/11/2004 19:06

Hi all my dear Angel sisters. First of all I want to Thank You All for your prayers, my biopsy tests came out Negative, after so many days waiting for results, I finally got the second opinion, negative, I have a small cyst in my thyroids and another one in my right lung ( I am a smoker), but it is not cancer, I put myself in God's Hands (I asked Him to take me and be with Solange) but I guess He wants me to be here for a little bit more, and I will follow His Will, thanks again my dear sister, and YES, God hears our prayers. Love you all. Selva

5/11/2004 23:57

Hi my dear sister, well, you know how I feel, I wrote you back, I'm happy that Our Lord answered all prayers for you, and am very grateful, remember what you say all the time? If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans, :-)
He need's you here right now, you have more work to do, in His time you WILL be reunited with your sweet Solange my dear sister, never forget that, and you know how close she is to you, love you my sister, and whatever would we do without you! I heard an old song on the Radio today, "We're here for a good time, not a long time.." how true that last line is, our live's are very short compared to Eternity, keep pressing on,
Lots of love & Tender Hugs,

5/13/2004 00:55

Dear Mom

I know this is a rough time for you.
So I will be as gentle as I can be.
First of all, thank you for so many tears,
particularly those shared with another that you love.
They are a gift to me, a precious tribute
to your investment in me.
As you do your mourning, do it at your pace only.
Don't let anybody suggest that you do
your grief work on their timetable.

Do whatever it takes to face directly
the reality of what has happened,
even though you may need to pause frequently
and yearn for my return.

Do this with courage and my blessing.
Know that sometimes inertia is the only movement possible. Give your
best to keeping a balance
between remembering me
and renewing your commitments to life.

It's okay with me if you go through minutes, hours
and even days not thinking about me.

I know that you'll never forget.
Loosening me and grabbing hold of a new meaning
is a delicate art.
I am not sure if one comes before the other or not,
maybe it's a combination.

Be with people who accept you as you are.
Mention my name out loud,
and if they don't make a hasty retreat,
they're probably excellent candidates for friendship.

If, by a remote possibility, you think that there is anything
that you could have done for me and didn't.
I forgive you, as our Lord does.
Resentment does not abide here, only love.

You know how people sometimes ask you
how many children you have?
Well, I am still yours and you are still my parents.
Always acknowledge that with tenderness, unless to do so would fall
on insensitive ears or would be painful to you.

I know how you feel inside.
Read, even though your tears anoint the page.
There is an immense library here and I have a card.
In Henri Nowens' "Out of Solitude", he writes,
"The friend who can be silent with us
in a moment of despair and confusion,
who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement,
who can tolerate not healing,
and face with us the reality of our powerlessness,
that is a friend who cares."

Mom, I don't know where you are spiritually now,
but rest assured that our God is not gone.
The still small voice you hear in your heart is His voice.
The warmth that sometimes enfolds you is Him.
The tears that tremble just beneath your heartbeat is Him.
He is in you, as I am.

I want you both to know that I am okay
and I have sent you messages to ease your pain,
they come in the form of flowers that bloom out of season,
birds singing, voices and visions and sometimes through your friends
and even strangers who volunteer as angels.

Stay open but don't expect the overly dramatic.
You will get what you need and it may be simply an internal peace.
You are not crazy, you have been comforted.
Please seek out people bereaved longer than you.
They are tellers of truth, and if they have done their work,
are an inspiration and a beacon of hope
whose pain lessened dramatically
and one more wisdom before we close.

There are still funny happenings in our world.
It delights me to no end when I hear
your spontaneous, uncontrolled laughter.
That, too, will come in due time.
Today, I light a candle for you.
Joined with your candle, let their light shine
above the darkness.

Author Unknown

5/13/2004 10:53

Oh Gosh, Sandy, ... What a heartfelt and oh so touching post from our guardian angels! :) I was fighting back tears as I read it. I felt this heaviness in my heart and throat throughout the reading! I know those words were dictated by our Lord and Savior to share with all who have lost a precious and beloved child! Thank you for sharing it here! As you always say, ... "Our God is awesome!" And, as I love to say, "Isn't God wonderful!"
Love & Angel Hugs,
Yo Miss V. :)

5/13/2004 10:56

Part [1]

I'm Back! :) [Here's my rambler for today, ... which I have been working on for several days -- off & on as time permits!] :)

Hello All, ~ Gee, ... It feels great to be able to post again! I have dearly missed everyone! Haven't caught up on reading all back posts, but will try to do so soon. A lot going on here that has prevented me from being able to post as often as I would like. But, I know you understand, & as always, I continue to remember all in my prayers; especially on special days. Family and I thank you so much for your continued prayers for Felecia.

I pray that everyone made it through Mother's Day with peaceful moments. I know how difficult a day it had to be for all; but especially our newly bereaved moms. I prayed that our Lord and Savior would wrap His arms around you especially.

Our family here had dinner at MaDear's and Auntie's. MaDear was sorely missed, but having the younger ones and grandchildren around; watching them playing games while the adult children & older generation looked on and recalled fond memories of days gone by, we managed to get through it OK. Hubby, Cheryl, James, & Stevie did the cards, flowers and gift things with me the day before since they had other commitments [Two church services to attend] on Mother's Day. Tammy & Antone' did their flowers and card thing early Sunday morning, just before they [Hubby, his brother Lynn, & Antone'], left to go down south to spend a few hours with my mother-in law. This made it a lot easier for me to help out here.

5/13/2004 10:58

Part [2]
Family here had called earlier in the week to request that I fix my hot water cornbread and my chocolate cookie cake for my contribution to our family dinner. We knew we couldn't make MaDear's pound cake from scratch the way she did, so we agreed not to try! Ha-ha! MaDear's only sister, Marie, whom we all call Auntie, is our stand-in mom now. Unable to have her own, she helped MaDear raise all 7 of us. So, we continue to love, honor, and shower her with a mother's love the same as we did before MaDear went home to be with our Lord. :) Both she and hubby's mom, Bessie, are 90 years young. :) God willing, Bessie will be 91 May 21st, and Auntie will be 91 Sept. 20th. My mother-in-law can no longer walk on her own, or talk much, but so far is in not great pain. Auntie is still quite active with her gardening, and church activities, and traditionally, ... She still prepares family dinner every Saturday night, and family members still gather at her home after church services each Sunday. We thank God for both of them.

After church and a visit with our Felecia, who is still hospitalized, we all met over to Auntie's to take on the turkey/cornbread dressing, ham, [collard&musterd greens -- home grown by Auntie]; hot water cornbread -- made by yours truly, :) [Auntie's home grown Irish potatoes], :) candied yams, squash, string beans -- But not as good as Diane's! :) ... [Chocolate cookie cake, -- made from scratch, by me, ... thank you], ha-ha! And, of course, our favorite beverages; coke classic, iced tea, & mixed soft drinks for the kids. :) Oh, and Vanilla Ice Cream.

Now, my sister's, ... I can imagine what a few of you might be thinking ... ha-ha! But, ... You are wrong! I only ate [tasted] a very, very small amount of some of all of that stuff! Ha-ha! That is, ... All but the greens, and squash, which I dearly love! I've never cared much for meat of any kind; so that wasn't a problem for me. And, no sweets, ... Except for a coke. Now, ... that was hard! :) Necessary though, because the diabetes thing is taking it's toll. :( Had to cut back on sweets, or else! :( So, my sisters, I know you are proud of me! Ha-ha!

5/13/2004 10:59

Part [3]
Hubby, and family got back around 5:30 PM; just as I was getting ready to go do the flower thing at MaDear's & Diane's graves, and check the cross & plaque out where Diane was killed. I didn't ask hubby to go because they had just gotten off the highway. Also, I know how hard it still is on him, God love him. But, my great-niece, Antone,' asked her mom if she could go with me. So the two of us did the honors. :) Antone' talked the whole way, asking all kinds of questions, and shared with me how much she misses both Diane and MaDear. She's only 8, but has a good memory. Some tiny details she remembered surprised me, as well as her interest in talking about her own feelings of grief. As strange as it may seem, angel moms,... Just hearing someone say how much they missed MaDear and Diane, had a peaceful and healing affect on me. That quiet sadness was there, but there were no tears this time. :) I did shed a few both before and after Mother's Day; ... But, I do that on any day [Lol], when I am missing them. :) As Sandy reminds us, everyone grieves in their own way. And the grief process takes a long time. For me, the tears are still a necessary part of my healing process. I have reached a point where I no longer feel the kind of grief which seems too difficult to bear. But, for me, ... there will always be those [out of left fielders], ... Those unexpected, caught off guard "valley times," when the tears will automatically flow. Whenever it happens, ... Thanks to our Chief Angel Mom and all the other Angel Moms who come here and share their own intense feelings of grief; as well as compassion, support, and understanding, ... I have learned it's really OK to pamper myself, take a deep breath, ... And, once again, ... [As Angel Mom Eva reminds us], ... I press on. :) Enough rambling for today! :)

Much Love, God's peace and blessings, & Angel Hugs to All, :)
The mind of God is different from the thoughts of man. As we follow Him we discover that we lose to gain ... surrender to win ... scatter to reap. In weakness we are made strong ... In humility we are lifted up ... In emptiness we are made full!

Roy Lessin ~ Never Forgotten, Always Loved!

5/13/2004 13:25

Hello our dear Miss V, great to see a Post from you again, I LOVE reading your rambling post's, they're not rambling to me, they're more like a letter of love to us all, :-) Wow, what a terrific Mother's Day for you and all, family all gathered together, more memories made, and all that good food, yum! Yes, very proud of you for sticking to your diet plan, I don't know if I'd have the same willpower with all that great food being served! I'm glad it didn't bother you too much to visit Diane and MaDear's graves, decorating them with your love. Yep, those 'left-feilder's' are the one's that really take you by surprise and the pain come's rushing back. You never know when they're going to occur or what will trigger them, sometime's it's something very simple, but boy oh boy, they do knock you off your feet. Thankfully they don't last and we're lifted out of the valley once again.
Yes, what an awesome God that we love and serve, how could any of us get through this without His love and help.
Like the quote from Roy Lessin, :-) and yes, that posting of "Dear Mom" touched me too, and I posted it here for all, I agree, whoever wrote it had to be Divinely inspired, yes, Miss V, all we can do is keep pressing on,
Much love to you & Angel Hugs,

5/13/2004 18:10

Hi my dear Angel in Chief. Thanks so much for sharing that letter , I did cried, but I though about Solange writing me that letter, thanks my dear sister for sharing it with us new bereaved Moms, it is so hard to live in valley days 24/7, you have gone through this, so it gives me hope that the pain will get "better"?, yes I know , but right now it is dificult to believe. I will keep Pressing On. Love you my dear dear sister. Selva

5/13/2004 18:14

Hi my dear sister Verna. It is always so great to hear from you, wow you really hard your handsfull Mother's day, that is great, I am sure that Diana was there too sharing it all, I am so proud of you Miss V, you are taking good care of yourself, that is such a relief for us your sisters, keep the good work, and be sure we will keep our prayers for Felecia. Bless you my sister. Selva

5/13/2004 21:56

Hi my dear sister, I'm glad that the letter touched you too, yes, every Mom who read's it feels as though it's coming from her child, wish I knew who wrote it, it had to be from someone else who's lost a child too, or was Divinely inspired to write it.
I know how hard it is, living with the 24/7 pain, it's hell on earth, when people such as my Bereavement Counsellor told me in my 1st, 2nd year that it will get better, I thought they were crazy, did not believe them one bit, I even thought, maybe they didn't love their child as much as I love Shane, but guess what, they were right and Miss V will agree with me on this, the 24/7 pain does go away slowly, and the pain that's left, we do learn how to live with it, with God's love and help. Love you too my dear sister,
Lots of Angel Hugs,

5/13/2004 22:26

Lord and Lady I thank you in advance for the safe return of my sons. I thank you for passing on the messege of love to them. I thank you for placing guilt the mind of their father to return my babies. Thank you for keeping them safe.

5/14/2004 09:12

Hello FORESTFRIEND, welcome to the Circle! It doesn't sound from your Post that you've lost a child to death, but if I'm reading correctly between the line's, :-) that your children were safely returned back to you by their father. You must be so happy and relieved! Peace and Blessing's to you,
Love & Angel Hugs,

5/14/2004 16:22

Hello everyone!

Beliefnet has just won their 4th Webby Award (like the Oscar's for Website's) for best spiritual site on the world wide web! Big congratulation's to Beliefnet, you so deserve it, and to you too dear Wendy, (our Editor here) and all the rest of the staff! Hip, Hip, Hurray!

Much love & Angel Hugs,

5/14/2004 20:11

Hi FORESTFRIEND, Welcome to our Circle of Love. I thank God that you are reunited with your children again, May God Bless them, again with their mother, I am so grateful to God that He made your husband feel His love and Understanding to return your children. God always answers mothers praying. May God Bless you and your children and may you enjoy their company once again. Love Selva

5/14/2004 20:14

Hi Wendy, Congratulations to you and Beliefnet, you have no idea how many people you have helped, I am one of them, thanks to you and Beliefnet, I found this Circle of Love for Bereaved Parents, which has helped me so very much, including keeping me alive. God Bless you all. Love Selva

5/15/2004 18:07

Hi my dear dear sisters. Today is the 21st month ann, since Solange went to Heaven, I miss her so much, I wish I can wake up from this nightmare and have Solange back home. I know that you will help me with your prayers and I thank God for all of you. Love Selva

5/15/2004 22:37

Oh my dear sister, you know our prayers are with you, I can never forget this date either, the 15th of every month mean's something to me, you and Cindy, Krissy's mom. I have more month's behind me than you do, so your own pain is still so fresh and raw especially on this date, let your tears flow, and always remember that you are loved, supported and prayed for, by everyone here at your Circle of Love, you will once again get through another difficult day, I hope you saw a Butterfly in Solange's Garden today,
Lots of love & Tender Hugs,

5/16/2004 02:51

Hello Angel Moms,First of thanks Sandy for that lovely poem,I read it and thinking Christie was saying it to me,it is so true.Things seem to be going better mentally for me,this new medicine has been a God send for me.Jessika's B-Day is May 17,but we celebrated it today at Pizza Hut,we had 14 children,it turned out great! It was alittle noisy,but what do you expect from that many children,but all in all they were good.Jessika's said it was her best birthday.My daughter Melissa came down last night and spent the night so she could be here for her party,the girls seem happy to see her,I know I was,she looks good,she lost 100lbs,I wish I could.Tonight the girls had a couple of their friends over to spend the night,they've all been very well behaved.So all in all it's been a good day.
I've been praying for those poor parents that lost their son by being beheaded over in Iran,my heart breaks for them,plus people having all over the internet I thought was heartless,it just adds to their pain all the more. Lets pray for them so the good Lord will be with them.

You are in my prayers
Angel Hugs & Kisses

5/16/2004 13:22

Hello our dear Sharon Lee, terrific to see a Post from you! That is wonderful new's dear one, it take's a bit for the meds. to get into your system, but once they do, they remove the black cloud hanging over you, very happy for you!! I know, most Moms who read that Letter feel as though their own child is talking to them, whoever wrote it, bravo to them, it's so meaningful.
Sound's as though Jessika had a Birthday to remember, :-) hope you had some help with 14 of them! Wish her a Happy Birthday from us all, I hope she get's her wish when she blew out her Candle's, :-). Ah, that was special for you and the girl's to have Melissa there, another terrific 'gift' for all of you! Wow, she lost 100 lbs., good for her, it couldn't have been easy, I hope she treat's herself to some new outfit's, she deserve's that! Yes, I believe that Philip Berg's family are all in our prayers, someone here at Beliefnet started a Prayer Circle for them and I added my own, may Our dear Lord help them through this most tragic time for them and all the family, I hope the Media leave's them alone now in their great sorrow. Very happy that you're feeling so much better, and also very happy to hear from you!
Much love & Angel Hugs,

5/16/2004 14:46

Hi Sandy and Selva (and Cindy),
Just wanted to let you know that the 15th day of each month is most significant to me also...My beloved son Sean-Michael was born on the 15th day of July 1985, and he was laid to rest exactly eighteen years and one month to the day on August 15th, 2003. He passed away August 9th, 2003 after his suv rolled over crushing him. He was outside of the car at the time, they were trying to push it out of a ditch.

I think that a little piece of our broken hearts goes with our child, maybe to comfort them, or maybe so that they can comfort us.

I'll be back, soon. It has been rough lately, but we are okay.

With all my love and heartfelt tears and prayers,

5/16/2004 15:49

Hi our dear Marci, missed you too lately, you should have told us you were having a rough time, we're all sisters here and you know we all want to help! I'm sorry sweetie, I forgot the 15th is also a date for you too, sadly two painful event's on that date.
I know that a piece of our heart goes with our child, but I never thought of it in those term's before, thank's for sharing that, it make's me look and feel differently about it, but in a good way. Yes, please come back, you have been missed,
Lots of love, prayers & Hugs,

5/17/2004 20:14

Hi our dear SharonLee, it is great to hear from you again. So glad you had a great birthday for Jessicka, I am sure she will remember it always. Yes my dear sister, I also take those pills, I have to, and I thank God for it, otherwise I will be in the nut house, I also have sessions with a phsycologist every week, so, what the heck, we need outside help, and it is OK. I am happy for your happy time. Love Selva

5/17/2004 20:21

Hi my dear sister Marci, yes again like our dear Angel in Chief said, you should have told us in the 15th, my Solange went to Heaven on the 15th, so did Sandy's and Cindy's, I have gone through 21 months and is so painfull, I still can not accept the fact, I am still in the nightmare process, but we are here my sister, we share our pain, our anger, our disbelief, so don't be a stranger, we KNOW THE PAIN, and everything that comes along. Love Selva

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