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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.

10/7/2001 09:53

Hello Tommie, thank you for your kind words and I'm very sorry to read about your own loss of your little angel Mia. Please don't blame yourself, guilt is too heavy a burden to carry around, but you know, a lot of moms feel that way, we're supposed to protect our children from harm, and because they have passed away, we feel guilty that we couldn't protect them from that. Giving it over to Our Heavenly Father brings much comfort, guidance and love. Your loss has been recent, so you're still in a lot of pain and grief, give yourself more time, as much as you need. I'm happy that you are praying everyday, God will bring you out of the valley, and you will be prayed for here too! God bless you,
Luv Sandy

10/7/2001 10:04

Hello Verna! What a wonderful post from you, I know it'll help some moms who have had recent losses as well as others like ourselves, who's loss is not as recent. I also know too that I will always have 'mountains' and 'valley' days, and like you, during the 'valley' days I cry, pray and know that tomorrow is another day. And like you, without prayer and the prayers of others, I would never have made it this far, God is so good to grieving moms! He is an awesome God that we serve and love! So now I live with the quiet sadness that my Shane is gone, but I also live with the knowledge that I will see him one day again, just as you will see you daughter.
The spiritual hug that you prayed for, for all of us and yourself, is so wonderful, and I thank you for it. God bless you also Verna, and I loved your wonderful post.
Luv Sandy

10/7/2001 17:43

Thank you Sandy. My email address is I would love to hear from you.

10/8/2001 06:14

Hi Sandy! Thank you for your kind words. It's such a comfort to know that we can count on God to help each of us carry a cross that is like no other! Also, it's such a blessing to know that we will see our children again someday! Sandy, thank you for the encouraging words and touching prayer that you posted on 9/16, and for sharing that beautiful poem from your Mother's Bereavement Group. As you know, I love poetry and over the past few years, God has revealed so much to me in the poems He gives to me to write. Tonight, in addition to praying for all parents who have lost their precious children, I dedicate the following poem which I wrote in 1996.

The Dream
Today in a peaceful dream
God let me walk you to the door
I knew I'd see you here no more
And as we reached that heavenly gate
He let me peep inside...

And as far as I could see
Old friends of yours and family
Rushed down that beautiful heavenly path
To welcome you inside.

With hugs and kisses they whisked you in
Saying Thank You, Jesus, time and time again.
And then you all kneeled down in silence
To say a special prayer.

And in that prayer I heard you say
To those of us grieving here today,
"You have no reason to be sad
You did what you could do."

For that I thank you all, you said,
But please don't think of me as dead,
For in each of your hearts I'll never die.
So don't be sad and please don't cry.

And then I saw you lift your head
And turn and smile that beautiful smile.
I couldn't say good-by to you
So I smiled and said...
I'll see you in a little while!

10/8/2001 06:27

Sandra, The poem that you shared is so touching! I know you wrote it from your heart. Thank you so much for sharing. I will keep you in my prayers.

10/8/2001 10:23

Hello Verna! Your poem is so touching, I love it! Oh, to have a 'Dream' like that! You're very talented and thank you for sharing it here, I know we can all draw from it and rejoice in it's message.
I'm glad you liked the poem I shared from my Moms Bereavement Group, it's so apt, we've all experienced the 'Autumns' of our lives here at this Circle.
And thank you also for commenting on my prayer. I believe so strongly in the power of prayer, I cannot express it in mere words. But we all know that God listens to us and cares about us all so much, he hears and comforts the hearts of mom's who have lost one of their beloved children and will see them through their own peaks and valleys. May God bless you Verna, and thanks once again for sharing your beautiful poem.
Luv Sandy

10/8/2001 18:06

To all parents from PeggyT,I received this from a friend of ours who lost their son, he was a friend of our son Rick who was killed 9 months after their
"I'll lend you for a while a child of mine,"He said,"For you to love while he lives and mourn for while he's dead.
It maybe six or seven years or twenty-two or three; But will you, til I call back,take care of him for me? He'll bring his charms to gladden you,and should his stay be brief,You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,since all from earth return,But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn. I've searched the wide world over in my search for Teachers True,And from the throngs that crowds life's lanes I have selected you. Now will you give him all your love,nor think the labor vain,Nor hate me when I come to take him back again?
I fancied that I heard them say: "Dear Lord,Thy will be done;For all the joys this child shall bring,the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with happiness; we'll love him while we may.
And for the happiness we've known forever grateful stay; But should the angels call for him sooner than we'd planned, We'll brave the bitter grief that that that comes and try to understand. Today is Rick's 8th Anniversary. Love to all of you Peggy T

10/8/2001 22:07

Heavenly Father, bless all these wonderful people who have suffered such difficult losses. Let the memories of the precious moments You gave them together with their precious children be of some solace. Let the promise of the day when they will be reunited again give them peace. Bless these families Lord. In Your name I pray. Amen.

I have not lost a child and I have no idea of the depth of your losses, but my heart aches for your losses. Your stories reinforce the swiftness in which life can be over and prompts me to be more joyful and accepting of the antics of my own daughters. I am amazed at the strength and unity of the parents on this site...God bless you all. May your hearts be at peace.

10/9/2001 09:37

Marahet, thank you so much for your beautiful prayer, we all appreciate it so much! Thank you for your kind words and thoughts, we never know when we will be called back home, so I try to live as though every day is a gift from Our Heavenly Father, which, I suppose, is how we're to live our lives anyway! I'm so very happy that you took the time and trouble to post here, it is much appreciated! May God bless you and your family,
Luv Sandy

10/9/2001 09:44

Hello Peggy, thank you for posting that poem, so many parents know of it and it brings comfort reading it again, reminding us of God's great love for us parents who have lost children. I pray that the peace of God is with you today as you remember and commemorate Rick's 8th year Anniversary. I hope it's not too hard on you, you'll be rememberd in our prayers here, as you go through the day and the many ahead. May God bless you and your family,
Luv Sandy

10/9/2001 16:39

Hello Everyone! Oh, how I wish I had the words to express how much I appreciate being a part of such a compassionate prayer circle! Every time I sign in, I always feel uplifted by the many wonderful prayers and poems. I feel in my heart that other members feel the same. I can feel the love and compassion in each and every post! That's the wonderful thing about prayer. Even as we grieve our own loss individually and in our own way, each of us find the time and have the desire to pray for others who,like us, have lost a child.

Today, in addition to praying for all of us, I send up a very special prayer for all who are experiencing the grief of "special days." Having survived my daughter's birthday and the 5th anniversary of her departure in August of this year, I know how difficult special days can be. I am so grateful for the many prayers that were prayed for me, by the members of our prayer circle.

Dear God in heaven,I pray that You will reveal Your presence to Peggy T, on this, the 8th anniversary of her precious son, Rick's departure. Allow her to feel Your grace and compassion strongly during this day. Reveal to her, Lord, that all of us here will be praying for her, throughout the day! On behalf of the members of our prayer circle,I thank You, Father,for answering this heartfelt prayer, in Jesus' name, I pray, Amen

10/9/2001 17:10

Peggy, thanks for sharing that beautiful poem. I recall reading it many years ago; long before I lost my daughter. Today,it has a much deeper meaning! I am sure that it has brought comfort, through the years, to all who have lost a child. Thank you so much for sharing!

10/9/2001 19:19

Marahet- Thank you for sharing that compassionate prayer, your kind words, and last, but not least,your words of wisdom concerning your precious daughters! The day before my daughter was killed,she called me on the phone. We had a fun and loving conversation; filled with laughter and love! I had no idea that would be the last time I would hear my child's voice. Sometimes, we don't get to say good bye. And, even when we do,it is still that parent's worst nightmare!

My advice to any parent who have not lost a child is: Love them in spite of what they may or may not put you through. Hug them often and tell them how much you love them! At any given moment, it may be the last chance you get to say good bye! The same is true for other loved ones and friends. It was thoughts like these that inspired me to write the following poem in 1997:

It's Just A Thought,But...

If you knew today that tomorrow you would be dead~What important task would you leave unfinished~What important words unsaid...If you knew today, that tomorrow you would be dead?

Do it NOW! Say it NOW! Don't put it off! Because,tomorrow...some tomorrow...You know, without a doubt truly will be...

Give your precious daughters a great big hug from all of us here! :) Again, thank you for your prayers! God bless you and your family!

10/9/2001 21:04

Verna, thank you so much for your kind words. I will take your advice very seriously. I just hugged my oldest daughter, Tai, online...she lives in Alaska and I am in Florida. I will hug my youngest, Danielle, if she ever comes home early enough for me to see her in person! God bless you!

10/9/2001 21:14

Sandy, thank you for your kind words also. I pray that God blesses each and everyone of you as you go through each day. I pray that He comforts you as your "special" days come and go. This is such a beautiful and insightful site. You are so right when you say we should live each day as if it were Heaven sent. I remembered all of you today when my Danielle was being "difficult". Thank you for reminding me that everything is in God's time...that I can not make Danielle conform to my rules and that this is ok...that it is ok that she marches to a different drummer (different and out of tune!):). God bless you richly. Amen.

10/10/2001 08:44

marahet, thank you once again for your beautiful post and your prayers! All of us at this Circle wish we weren't here, but we do draw great comfort and solace knowing that moms such as yourself, can emphathise with us, and pray for us as we deal continually with our losses. And we draw great strength from each other, in posts, and most importantly in prayer.
I'm so happy that you thought of us as your Danielle was being 'difficult', everyday spent with her, even those times you want to pull your hair out, lol, are gifts from God, and if she marches to a different drummer, she's finding her own path in life, so hold her close, and treasure even the 'difficult' times. Thank you once again, and come back anytime to visit, is there something that we could pray for you about? May God bless you richly also, and your family.

10/10/2001 20:28

Love2ut, Thankk you for those words of comfort. I feel both my sons around me at all times,especially if Iam having a very bad day. and our daughter seems to sense it also because she will call me from her in Salinas. Just knowing I have people like all of you to talk to and to know you are praying for me means a great deal to me. Please include my husband Joe in ypur prayers he really needs them.He is the type that won't talk about the deaths of our boys.I am very concerned because in the last few days he has mentioned that life is not worth it since our boys are gone. I stress to him we have a daughter and three grandchildren that need him and I.I have been praying for him daily. Luv U ALL Peggyt

10/10/2001 22:25

Heavenly Father, I stand in faith before you with Peggy and ask that You comfort her husband, Joe, in this difficult time. I pray that You fill his heart and touch his soul with the memories of wonderful days shared with his sons. Ease the pain that he is feeling today. Open the channels of communication between husband and wife, no matter how painful that may be for now, so that, together, they might share what their hearts are feeling. Let him come to You in prayer so that he might be comforted by Your words. Lift the darkness from his eyes so that he might, once again, clearly see the beautiful family that needs him now more than ever...especially his wife who writes heartfelt poems of life and love and living while struggling with her own pain and emptyness. While it may be of little comfort now, gently remind him that there will come a day when he will be reunited with his sons in Your presence and in Your glory. Lord, bless this family and bring them peace in the absence of their beloved sons. Keep them strong and safe in Your infinite love. Amen.

10/11/2001 00:14

Dear Lord, please help all the parents that have lost a child in this time of deep pain. The pain must be so deep that it sinks them to the very bottom of life. For this reason they need your sacred help to get them thru. Hold them with your hand and guide them towards hope of a new future. Let them see light at the end of the tunnel so that they may find you there. Dear Lord, please help them everyday of their lives to keep strong.

10/11/2001 09:29

A197271999, thank you so much for your beautiful prayer, we all appreciate it so very much, may Our Heavenly Father enrich your life and bless you.
Luv Sandy

10/11/2001 09:40

peggyt, our prayers go out to your husband, men, fathers, grieve differently form moms, so your husband is feeling his grief over losing his sons in his own way. It's heartbreaking enough to lose one child, but to lose two sons must be so very hard on him, and yourself, fathers lose a part of their 'future' as do mothers when you lose a child. Keep reminding him of his blessing of his daughter and grandchildren, they need him so much now as do you, and if he doesn't feel like talking about his feelings as we moms do, that's ok, he'll work it out with your help and with prayer. Also, it was your son's Anniversary the day before, and those days are always so very difficult to deal with. YES, isn't it wonderful to 'feel' our children around us sometimes, I talk with my Shane all the time! God bless you Peggy, and your family!
Luv Sandy

10/11/2001 18:02

Peggyt-After reading your post, concerning your husband,Joe,I sat in silence; waiting on the Lord to give me the heartfelt message He wanted me to share with you and other parents concerning the way most husbands/fathers/men grieve. Then,I gave up, because I suddenly realized that I still had not permitted myself to deal honestly with my own shattering heartache on this issue of the way men deal with grief. Until I read your post,I honestly thought I had resolved and forgiven my husband for not being there for me at a time when I felt I needed him to help me deal with my own debilitating grief over the loss of our precious daughter. What I discovered was; I still felt the pain and sadness too strongly! As the old saying goes, "Boy, was I surprised!" :) The message I received from God was: I still had work to do in that area! Thanks to you, I can now pray and ask God help me resolve this issue that I thought I had delt with sufficiently,a long,long time ago! I can now ask God to help both of us to take the sound advice that He revealed to Sandy to share; not only with you and I, but also with all wives/mothers/women, who still need help with understanding and accepting that; husbands/fathers/men, grieve differently from moms! And,like moms,they have the right to grieve in their own way.

Dear God, please help all mothers who are grieving the loss of their precious children to understand,accept, and remember that;Even though husbands/fathers/men express grief differently than we do,they're hurting, too! Give us the wisdom, the courage,and the strength to give them the love and support that each of us might feel we so desperately need from them, as we grieve the loss of our precious children. Remind us often,Lord,that most husbands/fathers/men have been taught,early on,that to cry, or to show unbearable grief, is a sign of weakness. Help us (moms/wives/women, to count our blessings and appreciate, even more, the love and support you have provided for us through other channels; such as our prayer circle,support groups,and in many other ways. Father,remind us often that when our hearts are troubled
concerning our husbands/fathers/men; whom we know are also hurting,please give us the peace of mind we seek so desperately. Father, we are trusting in You to heal their broken hearts and help them weather the many shattering storms they must face in this life, (especially the loss of a precious child) or; as in Joe's case,(Children).
father,I ask that you wrap your loving arms around Joe, at this very minute! Please, heal his torn and shattered heart! Give him the time, the place,and Your permission, Lord, to grieve in his own way! Then, Father, in the name of Jesus, I ask that you pour out Your blessings on Peggy and her entire family during these trying times! Father, thank you for sending Peggy into our prayer circle. You just keep on blessing us! :)

Then, too,Father, I thank you for your love and protection, for families everywhere; especially during these troubled times! Thank you for the love and support I have received as a member of this prayer circle,God! Let each member know that I love them dearly,and pray for each of them, even during times when I cannot post. :) I pray that You will keep us close through the years,Father. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

10/11/2001 22:13

Verna, your prayer for fathers is wonderful, thank you for posting it!
If there's one thing I've learned over the past two and a half years attending my Bereavement Support Group, it's that fathers DO grieve differently from mothers. And that a lot of wives feel 'abandoned' during their grief by their husbands during that awful period. But we must remember that men are ingrained by society to be strong, hold everything in, carry on during duress, and this is so unfortunate. Fathers do grieve, but in their own way. Perhaps they don't cry as much as we do, or outwardly show their true feelings, but they are there. And another thing I have learned is that eventually holding it all in takes a toll on them, such as peggyt has mentioned about her poor husband. My own husband didn't show his grief outwardly until the six month mark, when he fell apart.
We moms, who are in such deep grief ourselves, forget sometimes that even though our husbands aren't showing outward signs at the beginning, they are feeling it just as much as we are, but they feel they have to be the strong ones. A stiff upper lip. Hold the rest of the family together. Try to restore normalcy. But, in the end, they can't, for they are grieving inside just as much as we are, just grieving differently than us. That's the number one reason so many marriages end after the loss of a child. So moms, give your husbands, fathers, their own space and time to grieve, they ARE grieving, just differently than us. God bless you all and God bless our husbands, and grieving fathers.
Luv Sandy

10/12/2001 13:30

Please pray that my husband and I are pregnant. We had a stillborn child- Kacy Angelica- born on December 29th, and are trying to have another baby. I am praying that we concieved this past week, but it is too early to tell. I would appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers. Thank you!

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