Prayer Circles


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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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shaner
3/6/2004 23:36

Hi our dear Miss V, I know, the prayer is such a beautiful one, I've seen it used many time's in Memorium's for someone's loved one who has passed on.
The poem is inspirational too, a great analogy of life itself!
Much love & Bear Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
3/7/2004 00:14

Dear Ang,
Prayerfully thinking of you as you mark your Mom's Anniversary Date. May all the good memories flood your heart, it's hard too when you lose your Mom, my own dear Mom passed away 22 year's ago, but she always remain's in my heart, God be with you today,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
3/7/2004 00:19

Our dear AngelMom Yvonne, my heart and prayers are with you for your precious Joe's birthday. These 'special days' can be so very, very hard on us, I pray too that good memories of Joe flood your heart, but if the tear's come, let them, oh how we miss our children! May you see a Dove today, dear Mother of Joe,
Much love, prayers & Tender Hugs,
Sandy
p.s. Please let us know how your husband and yourself are doing.


LOVE2U
3/7/2004 05:03

Hi dear Sandy! ~ I came back on to post one of my rambling post, but saw your posts above to Angela and Yvonne. I am so glad that I read first because if I get to submit, my rambling post will probably take us to another page.:) Thanks for your comments about the prayer and poem that I shared on the previous page!

Dear Angela, ~ Please know that my prayers are also with you during this time of bitter-sweet memories. I lost my mother May 22, 2000. There are days when it seems like just yesterday. But, with God's help, and the prayers and support of others that God sends into our lives, we do manage to get through the special days. I pray that our Lord will wrap His arms around you and give you peaceful moments during this special time.
Love & Angel Hugs,
Verna

Dear Yvonne, ~ I, too, pray that God will give you many fond memories to recall on your beloved Joe's birthday. The special days are so very hard on us, but we know that with God's help and the love and support of others will see us through. I also pray that your husband is doing OK. Give the grand kids a hug from all of us here!
God's peace and blessings,
Verna


LOVE2U
3/7/2004 05:11

And now, for the rambler! :) Keep in mind I have been working on this for a whole week & saving it in my waiting to be sent files since AOL ... OR my computer wouldn't allow me to send it earlier this week. This first part, however, I typed late last night or early this morning! :)
[1]
Dear Angel Moms & Angel Dads, ~ It is officially 12:15 AM, Shreveport time, and I have just finished my part of preparing Sunday's dinner in the Clay household. :) Hubby is fast asleep, and all is peaceful and quiet for the moment. Thank God for peaceful moments. My hubby does his part of the cooking during the early AM while I sleep in. I thank God every day for giving me a wonderful husband who doesn't mind giving me a helping hand in the kitchen during times when I am feeling a little down. Tomorrow, or later today, God willing, we're having: Smothered Steak & Brown Gravy, Green Beans cooked w/Ham & New [tiny] Irish Potatoes, White Rice, Tossed Lettuce/Tomato/Cucumber Salad w/Ranch dressing topped w/Crutons, Texas Garlic Toast, Iced Tea, and last but not least; V. Clay's Homemade Peach Cobbler. :) And, you're all invited over for dinner, after church services! Ha-ha! Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if we all lived closer to each other! Just thought I'd share a little humor to lift everyone's spirits, as I continue to resist tasting a sample of the peach cobbler which smells delicious! All I can do is try ... Right? Ha-ha!


LOVE2U
3/7/2004 05:12

[2]
For the past few days, I have been under a lot of stress. At times it seems I have so much to do and so little time... Which isn't always the case ... Rather, my excuse for not doing some of the things I dread doing, and instead doing other stuff I enjoy doing! Then, when I find that I am up to my neck with trying to finish unfinished tasks, I get all stressed out. It's strange, but once I admit this, and do something about it, I usually find that the stressful mood suddenly begins to let go of me! :) Strange, indeed! :)


LOVE2U
3/7/2004 05:14

[3]

Dear Eva, ~ I said a very special prayer for the families of the 7 children who lost their lives in that tragic wreck. I will continue to cover them in prayer. I pray that someday, they will come to understand that our Father, God, is oh so merciful, and that He did not allow their children to suffer ... No matter how horrific it may have appeared to the human eye! There are so many things we will never be able to understand about God's ability to take our children's spirit out of their earthly shell just moments before the evil one strikes & life here ends abruptly! What we don't see is the glory that our children see the moment God lifts them up out of any given situation that occurs, and along with the angels takes them home to live forever in His kingdom! What the human eye sees, is what satan wants it to see. It helps to remember God's word is true. We know according to His Holy Word that satan came to steal, kill, and destroy. That is his job; his purpose for being. But, Jesus came so that we might someday have eternal life, along with our children; The glorious life that they began living the moment God called them back home. These are just some of the things I have come to believe about the role that the Holy Spirit plays in my life. Believing as I do; that God is the essence of love, compassion, peace, mercy, and everlasting joy ... and that satan is the very essence of evil, does in no way demising the fact that I will always long to hold my Diane in a bear hug! I will always miss her, and regret that she was taken from me, from this earth before my time came. It will continue to be a challenge for me to go on, and try to pick up the pieces of my life, while doing a little good along the way.


LOVE2U
3/7/2004 05:16

[4]
But the thing that keeps me going, in spite of the grief and pain I feel on valley days, is the realization that God has assured me in His word, that I will see my child again someday! I can feel that now ... Now that I have made it through the deep dark valley days when I thought I no longer wanted to live! Unlike in the beginning stages of my grief over losing my Diane, which lasted well over three years, with a few peaceful moments here and there, I can now find comfort in knowing that no matter what I have to endure while here on earth, I will do it with God's help, and the help and support that He sends my way on a daily basis. Now, that I have come far enough on my grief journey to be able to reason again, [at times I wanted so badly to end my life to stop the pain!] :( I find that it's a small price to pay in return for the joy that awaits me, once I have finished the work God sent me here to do. So ... Even on my worst day, [spiritually speaking], it is by faith that I am able to press on, in spite of my torn and shattered heart.


LOVE2U
3/7/2004 05:19

[5]


Eva, I know I started by addressing part of my post to you, about my praying for the families of the 7 kids who lost their lives so suddenly and without warning. But, sometimes, I just feel like rambling on and on, and this just happens to be one of those times. :) Whatever I have shared, I hope will serve to encourage all angel moms and dads, once they have come far enough on their own grief journey. As, Sandy and I have said many times in the past to our newly bereaved moms and most recently angel dad Angelo; who is, in one sense, finally able to begin to let go of some of the grief and heartache he has held back for so many years! ... There is no set time limit when it comes to grieving the death of a beloved child. Wherever you are on your painful grief journey, is exactly where you are supposed to be! Please believe this. No one has the right to suggest that you get on with your life; be it 1, 2, 3 - 5 - 10 - 20 or more years, or even longer! It is my prayer that both you and Ron will continue to stay close to each other and honor your child's memory in whatever ways you choose. As you gain the strength to do so, I pray both of you will continue to share your gifts of writing, and singing of songs. What a loving way to pay tribute to your beloved son with people all over the world. I believe others need desperately to have their eyes opened, concerning the kind of grief that bereaved parents must somehow learn to live with for the rest of their days. In my opinion, others, through no fault of their own, will never be able to relate to our grief, and support us in ways that really matter to us, unless we let them know the kind of help, support, encouragement we might need on any given day ... As we continue on our painful journey together, as well as individually.


LOVE2U
3/7/2004 05:45

[6]
The things I am sharing at this time are meant to give encouragement and direction to all, as you continue on your grief journey at your own pace. These things may sound crazy to anyone who is in the very early stages of grief, and even to some who are farther along on their grief journey; which, by the way, also includes me, when I am having a down in the valley day or night, or week, or whatever! We all have moments when our minds try desperately to take us back to happier times! So we end up reliving that which we still wish had not happened. Once we work through it, once it passes, we find that we are able to go on for another moment, or hour, or day. I know that for me, no matter where I am on my grief journey, Diane is there with me, right here in her special place in my heart; and that [ain't] ever gonna change! :) I press on with the joy of knowing that the love bond that Diane and I share is, and always will be alive and well! :) And, for this, I am forever thankful!
Much rambling, and much love and God's peace & blessings to all!
Verna

PS: For the record, Sandy ... I did not touch the peach cobbler, [ha-ha] but, as I am sure you can guess, I did take ALL of my meds!!! So keep Yo crazy Miss V. in your prayers! Seriously, though, beginning to feel a lot better now that the bronchitis seems to be inproving. I had what I hope is my last shot this past Wednesday and finally saw my ophthalmologist after having to wait all day! My appointment was for 9:40 AM. and I was finally seen at 4: 45 PM. If I told you why ... You would not believe it! But, not to worry, the receptionist patted my arm and assured me that she would make sure that when I come back for my next appointment in March of 2005, [HA -HA!]... She would PERSONALLY see to it that I was seen FIRST! HA -HA! "WHEW!" One day, I will give you all of the facts that resulted in me being the last to be seen that day! I promise, it will make your day! And, ... God help me, ... That's a RAP!!!


shaner
3/7/2004 13:35

Our dear Miss V! <<>>
mmm-uhmm, Mass is over for us, so what time are your Service's over at, so I'll know when to drop in, ha, ha, oh, sound's delish, how could you start at that Peach Cobbler and not taste just a little, :-). You have more willpower than me! I'd have to have just a little taste - only to make certain it was alright for the rest to eat, :-)
Not a rambling, Miss V, just sharing your own thought's and they may be just what another Mom or Dad need's to hear at the moment. Be blessed!
Much love & Tender Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
3/7/2004 13:38

p.s. That's stare not start I'd never make it as a proofreader, :-)


shaner
3/7/2004 15:43

Hello dear AngelMom's and Dad's

This poem speak's for itself, and it remind's me of how I felt during the early year's,

What a Grieving Mother Really Thinks


Hello old friend,
Oh yes you know
I lost my child a while ago.
No, no please
Donít look away
And change the subject
Itís ok.
You see at first I couldnít feel,
It took so long, but now itís real.
I hurt so much inside you see
I need to talk,
Come sit with me?
You see, I was numb for so very long,
And people said, ďMy, She is so strong.Ē
They did not know I couldnít feel,
My broken heart made all unreal.
But then one day, as I awoke
I clutched my chest, began to choke,
Such a scream, such a wail,
Broke from me..
My child! My child!
The horror of reality.
But everyone has moved on, you see,
everyone except for me.
Now, when I need friends most of all,
Between us there now stands a wall.
My pain is more than they can bear,
When I mention my child,
I see their blank stare.
ďBut I thought you were over it,Ē
Their eyes seem to say,
No, no, I canít listen to this, not today.
So I smile and pretend, and say, ďOh, Iím okĒ.
But inside I am crying, as I turn away.
And so my old friend, I shall paint on a smile,
As I have from the start,
You never knowing all the while,
All Iíve just said to you in my heart.


Kelly Cummings
9/8/02


LOVE2U
3/8/2004 00:10

Whew! Can't you just feel this mother's pain? I know what you mean, Sandy ... I, too, felt that way throughout the early years. That's one of the reasons I feel it is so important for our newly bereaved moms/dads to express their pain during the early stages! For some, it takes a while, and we know that's OK. It also took me a while. Now that I am farther along, I try my best to let it be know to all who will listen. At the MADD VIP meetings that I do, I tell it like is! Of course, these meetings are required for those in attendance; but once I get started, and by the time I'm finished ... There is little doubt that I have left a lasting impact on all present. There have been times when some have waited outside the courtroom just to tell me how very sorry they are that I lost my child as a result of drunk driving, and others who have said they will never drink and drive again. I always make sure they understand that no matter how one loses a child, that parent's life is changed forever! I stress the fact that no amount of time takes away all of the pain, and that it is with us for the rest of our lives; though not as intense as in the beginning. I ask them to please do me a favor, as a tribute to my daughter. I then request that they give a hug to any parent they know that have lost a child, and that they not be afraid to mention that child's name! I also make sure I tell them how very difficult it was for me during the early stages, and that of often thought of taking my own life; not just because of the indescribable pain I was feeling over my loss, but because I was convinced that everyone else .. and this included some family members ... seemed to have moved on with their lives, and they also seemed to think that I had too! So now that I understand how many angel moms and dads are dealing with the misconception by others concerning what it is really like for us, I tell it like it is! I feel it's the least I can do for all angel moms, angel dads, and also, as a tribute to my child, your child, our children, one and all! As Rabbi Kushner points out in the preface to the second edition of his powerful book; When Bad Things Happen To Good People:

"May we be worthy of the pure courage of this child. May we have the strength and the wisdom to liver his unlived years, to taste the joy of living that he never lived to taste." The tragedy brought them to realize that it is only because life is good and holy that illness and death are tragic.


LOVE2U
3/8/2004 00:13

and ...

I have met people whose lives were shattered by accidents or vicious crimes, and marveled at their capacity, not only to survive but to insist on living lives of achievement. I have corresponded with people who had been abused as children and were spending years in the process of shedding the guilt and the pain, putting the pieces of their lives together to the point where they could trust and love and laugh again, willing to go public with their searing stories in the hope of helping someone else. I have stood in awe of the courage and determination of all those people, wondering where they found the strength to do what they were doing, unless there really is a God who renews our strength when we are struggling to do something hard.

Angel Moms & Angel Dad, Angelo, ... Trust me, the preface to the second edition alone, in my opinion, could very well be a best seller! I urge anyone who have lost a child to finish reading this entire preface to the second edition to this powerful book. There is so much healing there! This book more than any other has given me the strength and determination to go on, and to encourage others who are just beginning to know the pain of losing a child. Sandy and some of our other angel moms have also found comfort from reading this book, as well as others. So, if you have not read it, I believe you would be doing yourself a big favor to do so. Unlike some authors, Rabbi Kushner has lost a child; his son, Aaron. So, he can, and does indeed, relate to our grief and pain! If nothing more, this makes it worth the read. It is also a national bestseller! Again, Sandy, thanks for sharing this touching poem!
Love & Angel Hugs,
Verna


LOVE2U
3/8/2004 00:21

[edit] In the quote above ... The word "liver" should be [live.]

Verna


LOVE2U
3/8/2004 00:31

One of my favorite verses from the Word:

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount on wings like eagles. They shall run and not grow weary. They shall walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31


LOVE2U
3/8/2004 00:52

Hi again everyone, ~ I am asking for prayers for our dear sisters, Angela and Selva. I rec'd an email from Angela today, and she has been in severe pain most of the day. Please join me in prayer for dear Angela. Also, I ask that you continue to pray for our dear sister, Selva, who is in the process of recovering from a terrible car accident. We know God hears all prayers according to His will for our lives. Let us continue to pray for our newly bereaved angel moms, and angel dad. We who are a bit farther along know how difficult it is during the early stages. I pray that God, in His tender mercy, will hold you close to His heart, and that He will wipe away your tears of sadness, and bless you with peace as only He can give! Our Father knows the depth of your individual pain! Don't be afraid to pour out your heart to Him; He already knows how much you are hurting! He wants you to come to Him in prayer, and express all that you are feeling. God is on our side! I pray that God will continue giving you the strength to press on, as you continue to grieve deeply for your beloved child. By expressing your heartfelt grief, you are able to let go of some of the indescribable grief that you feel inside! It is a long, slow, and painful process to endure; but with God on our side, together, we will continue to find ways to make our grief a little easier to bear. I pray that God will give you longer and longer moments of peace as you continue on your journey! In Jesus' name, Amen!


ALEXZNANGEL
3/8/2004 03:41

Hello AngelMoms and Dads,
I have not been able to sign on lately; I have been sick with bronchitis. My heart is heavy today...it is the 10 month anniversary of Alex's move to Heaven. I guess when you don't feel well to begin with, the thoughts are darker and everything appears bleaker. Please keep me in your prayers. As always you are all in mine.
Susan


shaner
3/8/2004 14:11

Oh, our dear Susan, I'm so sorry to read that you've been ill, I've had my own bout's with Bronchitis over the year's and I know how sick you can get from it, I pray you're now on the mend, and soon will be back to enjoying good health again!
Ah sweetie, this IS a hard day for you, only Alex's 10th month Anniversary, in the beginning every 15th of the month would bring me down too, and I'd be in that black hole once again, missing my own Shane so, so much. No, it doesn't help much that you're ill on top of your pain today, stay in bed if you can and let your tear's out, you miss your precious Alex so very much too, it's only 10 month's ago that he passed on, you know we all understand here and will support you as much as we can. You and everyone else are always in my prayers and heart dear one, I feel your pain, and I'll most definitely say extra prayers for you today, Dear Lord, you know your beloved Susan is hurting today, wrap her in Your loving, tender arms, soothe her heart, restore her health, surround her with Your comforting Angels, and please give her Your peace, that surpasses all other's. Thank You Lord.
A big {{Hug}} from my heart to your's, and know we're always here for you,
Much love, prayers & Tender Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
3/8/2004 14:21

Thank's so much again our dear Miss V for sharing your own thought's and feeling's with all, and I'm so proud of the work you do with MADD! You're helping to make a difference in Diane's honour in your way, and being a blessing to so many other's who've experienced such a loss. It goes without saying that our dear sister Selva is always in our prayers, and I'll definitely say one for our dear Ang,
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


SELVAM
3/8/2004 19:32

Hi my dear dear sister Verna. Thanks so much for your prayers, and thanks so much to all my dear Angel sisters. I am feeling better and for the first time I drove to work today, I was a little nervous at the begining, but it is only a short drive and I made it. Ay my dear Verna, I have been praying for you and your niece and family too, and I am so happy to see you posting! Love you my sister. Selva


SELVAM
3/8/2004 19:39

Hi my dear dear Angel in Chief. I just printed to whole page so I can keep that poem close to me at all times, it is so true, thank you for sharing it. Like I said to Verna, I drove today, a little nervous but I did OK, I will have my first therapy for my back on thursday, so 3 more weeks and I will be ready to get rid of the walker. I miss my daughter so much today, she was always saying, Mom, get a new car, you always drive this square looking ones, I cried today while I was driving. I always had to pass by the cemetary (which I have never visited it) and I could not help but cry, I said Ok Solange I am still driving an old woman car, but it is newer. Still having valley days but I am waiting until march 22, then I will have an idea if I will be with Solange, real soon. Love you my sister. Selva


shaner
3/9/2004 09:06

Good Morning my dear sister! Some poem's seem to really reflect how we're feeling, or have felt, and this was one of them, in the early year's, that's how I felt so very often with people, and I'm happy that it touched you in the same way! Hurray! You're driving your car, oh my sister, it's only natural you're going to be a little nervous about driving at first, but the more you do, the more comfortable you'll feel doing it again, just take your time. You've been through so much and are still going through it, but as I said, you have a 'survivor spirit' and in 3 week's, you'll be able to throw that walker away for good! I know you're still in valley day's my dear sister, you miss your precious Solange so much, I think she's very happy that you're back driving and that it's a good, reliable car, :-) This Journey has got to be one of the most painful one's we'll ever take, but at least we have each other, and you know we all care very much. Yes, God willing, you'll find out more on the 22nd, and you know my love, support and prayers are with you always,
Much love & Tender Hugs,
Sandy

 
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