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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

2/21/2004 00:23

Our Dear Sandy,
Glad to know that you know what fins are! LOL! You never know what the differences there might be in Canada and the USA. The short fins are called ZOOMERS. They are designed for building strength and endurance. They can be a little difficult to master and a little on the expensive side. I would reccomend just plain old long fins. In time, if you wanted to, you could cut across the tops. It's better to build up the endurance with the longer fins first. Have you tried a kickboard yet? It's a wonder for breaking up the monotony. I know you have posted your email address...I just forgot to write it down. If you would like I will send you an workout viva email.

Sandy, I am so sorry you have snow! I live in CALIFORNIA. You know the song - It never rains in CALIFORNIA,
but boy don't they fool ya - man it pours!
It is raining right now. But CA is always in a drought. So it is a good thing. We live aprox. 70 miles northeast of Los Angeles. In the High desert. We are in an isolated area surrounded by desert and mountains. There are over 400,000 people in all of the surrounding communities. Fortunately it is very spread out so that you still feel as if you live in a relatively smaller community. We actually do live outside the more populated city areas - 120,000 people in two closest cities. There is only 20,000 living here...but times a changing. Everyone wants to live here now! They keep building and building everywhere! It used to be you could ride your horses all over the area. Now your lucky if you can keep a horse! I have always said that when they pave paradise I am moving! It's getting close! My hubby is from NYC and I am a southern CA country girl! I prefer the quiet life and after 25 years of marriage and living in CA I think he does too! If truth be told, I think we would prefer living on a secluded tropical island. But, then again who wouldn't!
Sandy, so sorry for that snow! Some people are SNOW-PEOPLE. I am not. I know that inside of me lies an invincible summer!
With much love,

2/21/2004 00:32

Dear Verna, Angela, Angelo, Sou, Lisa, Susan, Selva and all other Angelmoms!
Please know that we appreciate and read all the posts. Even though there are those who don't or can't always respond to your posts, please know that when we read your heartfelt posts that you are blessing others with your caring and compassion. You make us feel okay.
I love and appreciate you all,

2/21/2004 15:22

Hi our dear Marci, I am impressed - didn't have to put out a 'call' to you either, :-). It's SO good to hear from you! Your past week hasn't been a good one for you, this was your first swim meet since you lost your beloved Sean, little wonder it brought up so many painful and bittersweet memories for you. No doubt you could 'see' him in that pool, and perhap's even feel a twinge of anger that he wasn't. It had to be extremely hard when the butterfly swim event came up, knowing that this was Sean's forte, I'm glad you were able to slip into a corner and let it out, that too had to be very difficult for you, God love you, I don't know how you held it all together up until that point. I think you were very brave to attend it and i know it must have meant a great deal to Evan to have you there.
That was so sweet of your hubby saying that to the other swimmers, and it probably gave them the impetus to 'go strong' for themselves, and for their friend, :-). I believe that Sean was there not only for his dear brother and his fellow team mates, but to give you the reassurance that he's is indeed still around and watching over all with his great love for you and everyone else. I believe the hummingbird was your proof, for you and for Evan, :-). What a wonderful blessing from Our Lord to the both of you!
So sorry about your friend, dear one, but she sound's like a true one, and you could talk to her about Sean, and how you're feeling, we all need that special someone who'll listen to us and give us the 'ear' and support we so desperately need. You've had a very painful week, and I can only imagine how much Sean Michael's brothers miss him too. We become master's at putting on our mask for other's, I remember in the early months running into people, and they'd say 'you look good, how are you?' And I'd answer 'Fine, thanks'. Of course I wasn't fine, I had my own 'mask' on, and you quickly learn who really want's to know how you are and who doesn't. Sadly, most don't. I didn't venture too far the first year, I didn't really want to be around other people, save for a special few, and I definitely didn't want to be around those who didn't understand. No meaningless platitudes from me dear Marci, I know all you want back is your precious Sean Michael. Thanks for sharing him with us here, eventually we all get to know each other's child and hold them dearly in our heart's along with each other, :-).
Much love, prayers, and lots of Hugs,

2/21/2004 16:24

Hello again Marci!
So that's what they're called, Zoomers, I've seen some swimmer's use them, mostly the males, hm, I think I will stick to the fins, ha, ha. Not quite at that level yet! Yep, they're called the same here, have you ever been to Canada? No, I haven't tried a board yet, they seem to be used by the young people?? Yes, I am starting to find it a little monotonous, so if you have any tips my e-mail address is We're not doing too bad this winter, we've only got a couple of inches of snow on the ground, but wow, our Eastern Provinces got hit hard this week, 90cm.!! They always get more snow than the rest of us, probably living on the shores of the cold Atlantic has something to do with it, :-).
Truthfully though, I couldn't live anywhere where I wouldn't experience the 4 Season's, I love them all for different reasons, :-). So that song ins't true, huh, :-). I'm glad you're getting the rain you need, I guess our Lisa is too, (she live's in Texas) so it's a definite bonus if your state or area is prone to drought. You're not very far from LA, do you visit there much? It sound's so beautiful where you live, I don't like a large populated area either, although I've been a 'city slicker' all my life, but our dream is to own a piece of land in the country, so I can have all the kritters I've always wanted, :-), but not too far from the city. The city I live in has a pop. of 160,000, just the right size, not too big and not too small. I'm a nature buff, so that's another reason to long for a little country life, so maybe one day....
You mentioned once before about moving, are you contemplating it seriously now with the land around becoming so populated? Maybe it'll be a while yet before they pave paradise for you, but I imagine all property close to LA would be considered prime? I'll dream about my country home, and you dream of your South Sea's Island, hey - some dreams do come true!
Much love & Angel Hugs,

2/21/2004 18:27

I just read your post and I have struggled with those same feelings. When I see Alex's friends living their lives; I get so mad that Alex can't. My son Weston will be graduating high school in a few months; I am dreading it. My Mom is flying down, my son and his family are coming in from Germany. I should be excited to see them and especially my 2 beautiful grandbabies. But all I can think about is the last time everyone was here was for Alex's funeral. That's why the selfish side of me wants everybody to stay home. How fair is that for Weston? Not very. Then I think about next year...Alex would be graduating college!! Probably marrying his beautiful Jamie. His best friend is getting married in July. How that hurts my heart!! I know Heaven is a million times better than here on earth and I ask God everyday to forgive me for wanting Alex here and not with Him, but I cannot help it. I bought a beautiful statue of a boy playing baseball to put on his grave. Alex loved to play. Even his obituary read; "Alex loved the Lord, Baseball and Jamie, in that order." It seems like I try to live his life by decorating his grave. I have it decorated for Mardi Gras now (we live in Louisiana) Everytime I decorate it bring back memories of whatever holiday or season I'm decorating for and what made it special to Alex. Alex loved Mardi Gras!!! He would go to the parades and literally have hundreds of beads around his neck and a silly hat on his head. Baseball season was another chance for his beloved Cubs to try and win a few games (I have tiny baseballs and bats on his floral arrangement with a Sammy Sosa bobblehead) Anyway I'm rambling. I guess what I'm trying to do is even if you weren't blessed with knowing Alex; you knew what was important to him by looking at his grave. That makes me feel better
I loved hearing about where you all live. I live in a teeny tiny town of 3000. I love it!! Even when I have to drive 45 minutes to the nearest store to buy milk or gas. We have 4 acres and had pigs and chickens but I guess you can say the thrill of raising pigs wore off when they broke out of the pen and ate the chickens!) So they became meals for a whole lot of people. YUM!! Now we just have 3 dogs; Chihuahua, Choc. Lab and a Jack Russell Terrier and 9 cats, 2 parakeets, asst fish, a ghecko and a chameleon.
I'm so happy to hear that Selva is feeling well enough to go to work. I pray all goes well and she takes it easy.
God's Blessings to All

2/22/2004 17:33

Hi dear Susan, I know our dear Marci will reply to you, have you done any reading on grieving - any of the book's that are out there and 'speak' to us? I'm sure you've heard of the great Christian writer CS Lewis, he wrote a short book called "A Grief Observed" that I read along with many others. It's very short, you can read it in one sitting, actually. I believe they made a Movie out of it too, starring Anthony Hopkins as CS Lewis, but I can't remember the name right now, :-). He wrote it after he lost his wife, but so much of what he struggled with I could relate strongly to myself.
It's really bittersweet seeing our child's friends moving along, I get a lot of comfort from them, so many of them still drop in and visit, it show's what a loving legacy that Shane left. But early in my Journey, I found it very hard to be happy for them too, as they got married, had children, we'd make excuses why we couldn't attend their weddings, etc. A year after Shane passed away, his best friend died also. I grieved for him also, he and Shane had been best friends since Kindergarten! I knew I had to attend his wake and funeral, but next to our Shane's, it was the hardest thing I had to do at that time. Last year, our nephew on my hubby's side also passed away, he was only 30. Derrick and Shane were the closest of cousins. An other heart-wrenching one to go through. Then 6 months ago I myself lost my best friend, she died suddenly after an operation for a brain aneurysm, only 40. At that point I wanted to scream, 'death, leave me alone, enough already!'. Only God's graces and love got me through it all. I know this has nothing to do with your question, it's just something I felt compelled to share.
Thank you too for sharing Alex with us, you've given us the beautiful gift of knowing some of Alex too, :-).
You live in Louisiana too, so does our Miss V! Small world, :-). You're living my dream of 'country life'. But there goes any thought's of having both chicken and pigs! I'm just teasing you, but I did have to laugh when I read that. I'd just like to have some laying hens, a horse or two, lot's of dog's rescued from the pound, and my own big garden. Oh, and lot's of bird feeder's around also, :-). I've presently got my name in our local Humane Society for the first Parakeet that come's in, I've always wanted one. Another friend of mine has one, and he's just the sweetest, so it's the ideal pet for us, living in an apartment.
YES, our Selva is returning to work tomorrow, not a full day though yet, which is good, I don't think she'd be able to sit for 8 hrs. just yet. Did you post Alex's dates for us yet? If you did, you'll have to forgive my memory, after 50....., if not, please do! God's peace and blessings to you dear AngelMom,
Much love & Angel Hugs,

2/22/2004 17:40

Ang! Thank's for posting also, hope to hear from you tomorrow, with your computer up and running again. Tell our dear AngelDad Angelo that our love and prayers are with him during this very painful time for he and his family, I hope and pray the trial is over soon for them all.
Love & Angel Hugs,

2/22/2004 22:26

Hi AngelMoms,

I just had the same dream again. I had a catnap earlier, and I dreamt that Shane was laying in his bed, all covered up and our black lab we had who is also passed on was in it. He was really Shane's dog - anyway, I kept telling 'RT' go see Shane, and his ear's perked up like they always did, and he went over to the bed, but it wasn't Shane, it was just a pile of covers. Woke up crying once again. I HATE these dreams, I wish they'd stop.
Love Sandy

2/22/2004 23:59

Oh sweet sister, I am sending you a long distance hug. I dream of Alex a lot and only one dream brought me comfort; the rest were so unsettling and upsetting I hated to go to sleep. I think it is my head battling my heart. So far my head is winning and my heart has taken a beating. I have read a few books on grief. The one that helped me understand my feelings was GOOD GRIEF by Granger E Westberg. It is a 64 page book and biblically based. Also another book was given to us by the funeral home and it was very comforting also; LIVING WITH GRIEF AFTER SUDDEN LOSS. Not Chritian based but very informative.I'm going to look up the one you suggested and read it. My pastor is also doing a series of sermons called "Dealing with Feelings" The church just went through a nasty split and 40 people in the congregation (my family included) left when the rest voted the pastor out. We have been meeting at his house for services and he has really personalized his sermons for each of us. My relationship with God is so much stronger now. Even though we don't have a church building, we all feel God's presence so vividly. Today's sermon was Dealing with Death and I learned that for myself I have been through every stage but submission. I'm just not ready to let God have Alex (with my blessing)I know it's presumptuous but I'm just not there yet. Still working and praying on that. But I know our Heavenly Father loves us and forgives always and I know I am moving forward with some setbacks, but what can we do? We are Mommas and Daddys that love our children and the loss is such a pain in out hearts and souls. I know God understands.
Well, by now you realized I'm a talker...Feel better Sandy; know that you have a league of sisters and brothers that pray for you by name.
Here's your {{{HUG!}}}
Mom to Alex
2Jan83 8May03

2/23/2004 08:37

Hi Sandy Good Morning,

I am so sorry you had a bad dream again. It's weird, last night when I was in bed, around the times you posted I was thinking of your dreams. I don't think it's a suprise that you have them again and again, you are just longing for your dear Shane. Wouldn't it be great if you went over to his bed, he would be lying there and you realized that it was just a dream that he passed on? It's very normal that your longing make you think and dream the weirdest things. I just hope that your dreams will stop soon and that Shane will pay you one of his great visits.

You're in my prayers,

2/23/2004 14:29

Hi all my Dear Angel sisters. Just a quick note to let you know that I am back at the office, it feels so nice to be back, my co workers were so happy to see me and there are trying to help me so much (they are spoiling me), trying to seat a little at a time, and will try to make it all day. I have work coming out of my ears, but just wanted to let you know that my prayers and love are still with you all.Sandy my dear sister, I have those awful dreams all the times, the difference it is that I always get lost wherever I go, then I loose my car or my keys, and it is always a nightmare, and of course everythime I get loss I try to find Solange and worry that she does knot know where I am, I told my pshycho about it and she explained that it is what my subconcious is feeling, in other words, since Solange went to Heaven, I lost everything, and I am still lost without her, so that is why i have those crazy dreams all the time, I know it is very sad when you get up, but don't pay too much attention to it, you want Shane back, like all of us do, but we can not have them back right now, and that is why you don't find him, but we all know our Angel kids are with us at all times. God Bless you all my dear sisters, I will try to post again tonight (if my sister finishes early). Love Selva

2/23/2004 17:17

Hi Angel Mom's & Dad's

Just got my new service up and running. My new em addy is (a href="mailto:">Click to Email

Very tired and going to rest now.

Love to all!!!

Angela xoxo

2/23/2004 17:19

Yup, I'm tired alright!!! Okay let me try that again!!! lol

Click to Email Angela

2/23/2004 22:20

Hi dear Susan, thank you sweetie for your {{Hug}}, I felt it all the way up here, :-), and your prayers, support and love. Ugh, I know, the dreams in the beginning can be so unsettling, you do dread falling asleep, but I'm happy you had one of the good ones, that bring us so much peace and comfort!
I wasn't sure if you had read any book's on grieving, but you have and happily it sound's as though they were a help to you, the Support Group I attended had a library of book's on grieving, coping, etc., and I think I read most of them and then some, hope you do like CS Lewis' book, he lay's his soul bare, very honest about his feelings, you almost feel as though you're eavesdropping on his most personal thought's, but so much of what he grappled with I could strongly relate to. That's unfortunate about your Church, but your Pastor sound's like a wonderful one, meeting the need's of his Congregation, especially his Sermon 'Dealing With Death', talk about being timely for you! YES, acceptance/submission is a very difficult one to struggle with, I don't think it's being presumptious dear one, we are as you say, Moms and Dads that miss our children, and God in His great love and mercy understand's us much better than we understand ourselves, (thank goodness!) and is our only constant, helping us along as we struggle with our human feelings. He know's more than anyone how much we miss our child and always will, so when I'm feeling down He's the first one I turn to for His comfort and unconditional love. My dear sister you talk away! your word's brought much comfort to me, :-) it help's so much to know when we're going through 'rough patches' that we have each other for understanding, support and love! I'm sending you a big {{HUG}} back, along with my love and prayers,

2/23/2004 22:52

Dear Shaner,
You never cease to amaze me sis, I have never taken the time to read all these posts. You are an amazing woman with a God given gift to comfort and heal, a true angel. I am proud to call you my friend.....

2/23/2004 23:39

Hello my dear Sou, wow, you were actually thinking of my dreams when I posted about my latest? That is wierd, maybe we have ESP my sister, :-) or most likely God placed it in your heart that one of your fellow AngelMom's was 'in need' at that moment. Yes, you're probably right, next month it'll be 5 years for me/us, I've gone through all the normal stages of grieving, but 5 years is a long time when you miss your child so much, so I'm sure it's playing a big part of it. Oh, wouldn't that be great, you have your Sarah back and I have my Shane, but they wouldn't leave Paradise for us, even though they still love us, they're having a life we can only imagine right now, :-). I hope they stop too my sister, and thank you for your love and prayers too, they are so much appreciated,
Much love & Angel Hugs,
p.s. Did you have a nice weekend away?

2/24/2004 00:27

Hello my dear sister! It's so good to see you posting, and back at work! I bet they were overjoyed to see you, and hey, you let them pamper you, and don't work too hard. Let them spoil you my dear sister, if anyone deserve's it, you do right now!
What your Therapist say's make's so much sense, our subconscious thoughts do come out in our dream state, I'd just like to know why I'm having them now, within the last 8 months or so, but you're right, we miss our children and always will, thank you for your e-mail too my dear sister, it was a great comfort too. Great to have you back, but please don't overdo it at work, you still have a lot of mending to do. Hope lunch was on them, :-), and I pray your dreams stop too,
Lots of love & Angel Hugs,

2/24/2004 00:45

Well hello my dear sis! I'm so happy you finally joined Beliefnet, and I love your Username! It's a good thing you posted here, or I would have hunted you down, :-) Now cut that out, my 'halo' is pretty crooked at times, and you're an amazing woman yourself that I'm proud to call friend,
Love ya bunches, & {Hugs},

2/24/2004 11:12

Hi Angel Moms,
I am at home today, I decided that I needed a day off just for me. I just finished catching up on some journaling that I have been wanting to do about Aaron. I am finally up to date and am promising myself to keep it updated. I started this journal not long after he died but then I would write sporadically. I am afraid that I will forget things about him, and what happened so I wanted to write it down piece by piece. I finally finshed up to date and am surprised at how much I don't really remember about the funeral and those first few months. It is like I was watching somebody else live through it. Does anyone else feel this way? Maybe that is why I am having such a hard time now because I am feeling it and living it!
That's terrible that you keep having the same dream over and over. I just wish I could have A dream period. But I agree with Selva and the others that you are just missing Shane very much right now and he is on your subconcious. Maybe it's like I was asking the other day about Aaron's birthday coming that why I am so crazy right now? Maybe it is you thinking about Shane's anniversay coming up too. They say the time before the actual date is worse than the day itself. I am starting to believe that. Hang in there and don't read to much into them.
It's nice to hear you are back at work and doing better. You let your coworkers spoil you for a while. You deserve it! I'm know if it was them you would be there for them and spoil them. That is just the wonderful person you are.

Love and Peace to you all,

2/24/2004 13:33

Hi my dear Angel sisters. Well I'm back again at work, but this morning had a hard time with the pain, took a pill and I'm feeling better, have an appt with the Dr. tomorrow, hope that he will take me off the walker pretty soon, I'm tired of it. My dear sister Sandy, I'm praying hard for your bad dreams go away and the good ones come soon,you know how bad ann. and birthdays are, I am sure that God will listen to our prayers you are one of His Angels here on Earth, and He will make you feel better and I know that Shane wants you happy and well. Lisa, its good to hear you are taking a day off and catching up with the journal, you know, I have not started one, but I will do it soon, a lot of people have recommended it. I'm in valley days most of the time, and yes Lisa, I hardly remember anything about those days, don't even like to mention it, my pshycho always told me the second year is worse than the first, that is when reality checks, and it is so hard to believe it.We have to keep on Pressing On. Love you all my dear sisters. Selva

2/24/2004 14:57

Hello our dear Lisa Lou, good for you, taking a day off just for yourself, you need it and you deserve it! I'm a great believer in Journalling too, I do one just for myself, and my hubby and I have also done one just for Shane, right from the beginning, and keep adding to it. Maybe it was your way of coping at that time Lisa, your pain shut out those memories, but I have a feeling as time goes on, they will resurface, and maybe that is why you're having such a difficult time right now.
Even though I was on what I call auto-pilot during his wake and funeral, I can recall everything about it, but the first few months afterward's, were a blur to me too, so I'm thankful that we kept that Journal, on the days I couldn't write my hubby would, by now it's gotten pretty big, so keep your's up too, as time goes on there'll be more and more happier memories for you to add. The real thing that bother's me about those dreams is they bring me right back to day one again, feeling all over again the intense heartache and pain. I know, sweetie, I pray so much you have your dream, I felt bad after I told my hubby, he hasn't had one dream about Shane since he passed, and it really bother's him. I try and console him and say 'you've probably had plenty of dreams about Shane, you're just not remembering them', but he's like you, he'd give anthing to have a dream, one he could remember, so I pray that he eventually does too.
Did you watch the Video yet?? I'm dying to hear what it's like, and did you come away from it with any comfort and peace? You hang in there too, sweetie, thank goodness we all have each other for love and support,
Much love & Tender Hugs,

2/24/2004 15:15

Hello our dear sister, it's nice you're back at work, you can post to us again!
Ah, I'm so sorry you experienced pain this morning, you've come a long way since your accident, but you still have a lot more mending to do, so as I said yesterday, don't overdo it, and take the pain meds. when it get's too bad, don't suffer needlessly! Please let us know what the Dr. has to say tomorrow, he may just say you don't need the walker anymore, here's hoping and praying for you my dear sister! Thank you my sister, you're all so good to me, and everyone's prayers are helping so much, today I'm back to my old self, so I'm very grateful! Did you buy your Lexus yet, ha, ha,
Much love & lots of Tender Hugs,

2/24/2004 20:14

Dear Susan, Thank you for replying to my post. It does help to know that others go through the same complex feelings of loss. I think that we mourn not just the loss of our beloved children but we also mourn for the might have beenÖThe person that they would have become, the family they might have had, the friendship that we would have shared. Yeah, mourning is full of regrets and disappointments.
I do feel that it is how we handle ourselves and what we do with that suffering that matters. Just as the old saying goesÖĒwhen you got lemons Ė you make lemonade.Ē

Thatís why sometimes we feel as if we are trying to eat an entire elephant in a day. By taking one bite at a time, it may take awhile before you eat the whole thing, but one bite is much more manageable than the gobbling the complete elephant! Thatís how we can live, one day and one moment at a time.

Susan, It sounds as if you going to have a houseful in May (or June!) How wonderful that your mom and your son and his family are coming to your Westonís graduation! What a great time it will be for you to make memories with your GRANDBABIES! Maybe it can be something you can look forward to and enjoy! Hopefully you can replace the negative and sad memories that you share with your family with happier and more positive ones. Thatís what makes life Ė our families and the memories that we share.

You sound as if you have had your fair shard of CRITTERS too! We have had turkeys, chickens, ducks, peacocks, pigeons, lovebirds, fish, a hawk, dogs, and too many cats! Now all that we have left because I donít want to take care of them all anymore is ďBuddy,Ē my Shepard mix and my constant shadow, 12 or more pigeons and Evan has a cockatiel. I donít think I could have been as brave as you and raised a pig! My grandpa had a farm and pigs and hogs where not among my favorite pets! Most of our animals were given to my children by well meaning friends, family and a few enemies! My youngest son Evan was a Dr. Doolittle want-a-be! We always had baby something or others in the house along with all the lizards, horny toads, hamsters and pet rats! We do live the same life donít we? Itís true that people are just people everywhere. We are all family.

With much love and prayers to all, Marci~.~

2/24/2004 20:16

Our Dearest Sandy,
Please remember that the next time that you dream of you beloved Shane and wake up crying is that TEARS ARE PAIN LEAVING THE BODY. Lord knows I should be totally pain-free by now! Iíve cried myself an ocean!
We do travel to Los Angeles and other cities often. Thatís one thing about California- it has intricate freeways throughout the state. We are only 1-1/2 hour away from the Pacific Ocean and less than an hour away from Mt. High ski resort. My children can surf and snowboard all on the same day! If you ever want to visit CA let me know! Itís all an hour away, Disneyland included!
P.S. Get a kickboard and fins it will spice up your work-out!

With much love, Marci~.~

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Pray for Amanda B. 07/06/2008
"Please pray for my daughter and her unborn child."

Pray for Janice A. 07/05/2008
"One of my most favorite people in the whole world needs your prayers today. Please spread this and include Janice in your daily prayer."

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