Prayer Circles

Dearest Angelmom Sharon (pretty bird.
Boy is this tough or what? Missing our children. Sometimes I miss my son so much I want to scream out "SEAN-MICHAEL COME HOME RIGHT NOW! But I know that he is home and he is in the presence of the Lord. Sometimes we have to ignore hurtful comments made by others. They often mean to help or comfort you and don't realize that it isn't the appropriate thing to say. Please remember that GOD IS A LOVING GOD. He too lost his Son. He knows how we feel when we weep and cry out in despair. GOD DOES NOT PUNISH US BY TAKING OUR CHILDREN FROM US. He is our comforter and our hope. God didn't hurt you; you have been hurt by life. God gives us a world of choices and decisions. We have free will. God is not responsible for the accidents, illnesses, and natural disasters of the world. He doesn't promise us that nothing in this world will go wrong or that we won't suffer. What he does promise us is that he will be there for us, to be strengthened and comforted. God is on the side of the afflicted and the hurting. He doesn’t want us to suffer. All we have to do is come to God in prayer. He will give us the strength, the courage and the perseverance to overcome our pain and grief.

Sharon, I don’t think that your Jinxed or plagued. Our world is one of suffering. Some of us suffer more than others. It is how we handle ourselves and what we do with that suffering that matters. Continue to love God, your family, and your friends. Never give up hope. We will be reunited with our children and loved ones. God said so.

Heavenly Father, I come before you Lord asking you to bless these grieving angelmoms and dads with your peace. I pray that You will lift them up and comfort them. Please Lord, let them feel your everlasting arms of love and presence in their lives. In your sons name we pray. AMEN
with much love and prayers to all,
Marci~.~

Dear Sandy,
We are on our way to a three day swim meet. Fins are what you put on your feet to help you kick. Like divers use.

Love always, Marci~.~

Hello our Marci, have a wonderful time away, hopefully you'll get some swimming in yourself! Yes, :-) I know what 'fins' are, I thought you were referring to the shorter one's I see some wearing. See you in a few days!
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Dear prettybird,

I can feel your pain through your words, I wish I could be there and cry with you. You are going through a horrible time and doing a lot of debating with yourself. You need some help just like I did when I had those days. Do you have anybody at church who you can talk to? That would be a great help. I also don't believe in spells. This life on earth is just a very short one compared to eternal life with God. In this short life God is testing us with the toughest things we can imagine, but He never tests us with more than the soul can bear, we almost reach our breaking point but there always is that little inch that helps us from falling into the devils arms. Only people God loves are being tested, the ones who have forgotten about love and see life as a huge party with no boundaries and God are not being tested since they have to suffer on Judgement Day. We, the loved ones, are being stretched and tortured and if we still believe in God and trust His will, we will be the ones who will happy at the Day of Judgement. We will have the honor to reside in Gods garden because all that He put us through we still didn't lost faith in Him.

I pray for you my dear sister, that through all these hard times, God will lead you out and shower you with His blessings and peace. Please don't listen to peole who don't know how we feel, they try to help but sometimes they make things worse, it happened to me too but I know they don't know the pain I feel and cannot relate.

You need some religious healing, that's the only healing for our pain, so go out and find a good minister you trust and have him help you.

We are always here to listen and help you with our words, you are not alone with your pain.

Love
Sou

Hi my Dear Angel Moms. I was planning to post tonight but I miss the Circle so much that i just could not wait.Dear Prettybird, we all understand your anger, fears, disbelief and that horrible pain. Don't pay too much attention to what others who knows nothing about this pain will tell you. this is not a jinx, nor is it God's punishement, He is a God of Love and He will helps us through our pain, He even understands when we are angry at Him, He just smiles at us when we tell him off, just as we did when our children got angry at us. It just takes time to feel just a little better, sometimes when we feel we are ahead a little bit, something else comes along and pulls us back to day one, so we have to gather our strengh one more time and nag and nag God with our Prayers. My dear sister, we will storm heaven for you and Sean, and remember Benji is still your son, he just went away for a time, but you will be together again, this time forever. May God Bless you. Selva

Hi my dear dear Angel in Chief. Miss you so much, I am doing a little better with the pain, went to have my Scan and mammogram done yesterday and I should know the results by next wed or thursday. Yes valley days are still haunting me, and sometimes I have no energy left to keep on, but Juny is having little problems here and there and I can not leave her alone yet, I hope God gives me a little more time to leave Juny in a very stable environment, this way i will go at Peace. I will go back to work now, but will be posting again tonight. love you all my Angel Sisters. Selva

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
Thank you all for responding to my post and just being there for me. I am doing a little better these past couple of days. I am praying really hard and trying to stay in touch with God.
Selva,
It is so good to see a post from you. You are missed deeply around here. But you take care of yourself and get better.
Sandy,
I apologize for not taking the time out to call you. I promise I will soon. This has just been a really hectic week for me, emotionally and physically. Are you still swimming?

God, please bless these Angel Moms and Dads. Please bring comfort where comfort is needed and please ease some of their pain. Show me the way of your will God. Thy will not mine be done.
Amen

My dear sister, Selva, ~ It warms my heart to see a post from you! You know how much we love you and that we are storming heaven with prayer for you. Remember it is normal to feel what you are feeling. This is where you are, for the moment, on your grief journey. Do you recall that there was a time when I, too, thought I wanted to die? But, God acted as though He didn't even hear me! And, that made me angry, too, because I just couldn't handle the pain I felt 24/7. Boy do I remember!!! There were times when the grief was so difficult, I felt as though my head was going to explode!!! I had no where to turn, no one to talk to ... to tell about my pain!!! That first year, I packed up a few of my daughter's belongings, got in my car, and headed to the bridge over troubled water!!! Yes, dear sister, ... Yo Miss V. had given up ... Just as God knew I would, because He had already warned me in the words of a poem He gave to me to write just three months before Diane was killed in that tragic chain reaction wreck which involved 2 cars, 2 pick up trucks, AND drunk driving! Why, just the though of it, took my breath away!!! There was absolutely NO WAY God could expect me to press on! I mean ... Press on for what???

My dear sister, let me share this little bit of information with you; which can be verified by copyright date. I wrote the poem Chain Reaction, in May of 1996; which most of you have read in one of my many posts here, or at Angela's mylovelygarden website. What you may not know is that I edited out one line of the poem that God gave to me to write in the original poem. The line which reads: Just when I've almost given up. The original line read: Just when I've made the ultimate decision! My dear Selva, and angel moms and dads ... That line, I was ashamed to share with others for a long time! That's because at the time I wrote it, I was referring to the final act of suicide; even though I didn't understand why God's Holy Spirit would lead me to write such words! At that time, I had no reason to feel like taking my life! And, I sure didn't understand why the Holy Spirit led me to use the title: Chain Reaction for this poem. It was not until after my beloved daughter, Diane, was killed in what news media described as a "Chain reaction type wreck" that I would come to someday understand it all as a warning from God concerning His will for my life, once I made it through the major storm which, unknown to me at that time, was headed my way! Once God and others helped me make it through the worst part of the storm of a lifetime; that is: The ultimate and indescribable shock, anger, depression, and long awaited acceptance stages of grief, God really did "Step right in, and make me strong!!! And He continues to use me ... [The one who, like you, and so many other angel mom's and angel dads no doubt have or may feel at any given time]... To help someone, who [Like me]... Just can't bear their cross alone, ... When to life's trials, they see no end, ... [And, by the way, my dear sister, you and all the other angel moms & dads are already doing this on a daily basis every time you reach out and share your pain as well as your words of encouragement with others who have lost a beloved child or children]... [You] say to them, [in your own way, in your own words, & in your own time] ... I'll be your friend!

So, you see, my dear sister, God needs you here NOW!... Not in heaven!!! As the saying goes, ... Heaven can wait! God writes the final chapter for each of us. It's in His time, ... Not ours! We love you, and need you here, my dear sister! We are praying for you 24/7!
God's peace & blessings,
Verna,
Mother of Diane
8/16/60 - 8/31/96

~ From Fruits of Spirit: By Verna R. Clay ~
[A Valentine's Day message from your guardian angel.]
Written February 14, 2004 ~LOVE2U

And, The Holy Spirit said, "Go write this down!"

Guardian Angels Club

~The Ultimate Love ~

I know that you are missing me...
You know I miss you too!
Though I am just a breath away...
There's nothing I can do...
To ease the pain that's in your heart...
So deep is the pain you know ...
And every time I see you cry...
I long to hold you so!
But that will have to wait for now...
Until your name God calls...
But once you enter Heaven's Gate
You'll see ... It's worth it all!

Love & Angel Hugs from Heaven!

~Your Guardian Angel -:)

Hi my dear sister Verna. It is so great to hear from you at the Circle, I received your e mails. Thanks a million for your wise words and your honesty, yes I am somewhat angry at God because He did not take me in that accident, even the paramedics could not believe I was alive, and I was very disappointed, but God gave me a second chance, they found something wrong with my vertebrae, so I am in His hands, I surrendered. I am glad you are feeling better Miss V, we all need you and you know I love you very much. Selva

Verna...so good to have talked with you tonight... I really don't have time to go into a deep post right now..I'm having some issues that I have to deal with right now. I just ask that everyone pray for me and Ron right now.We are having a major spiritual battle. I sound okay on the phone Verna..But it's not me...it's a person who believes that everything is alright and dandy..My world is falling apart. Ron is making me crazy... My daughter,Mary, is leaving for Kuwait next week...My oldest daughter, Lydia, is not taking care of herself..she still has not gone back for her biopsy...she thinks her cancer is just going to go away by itself... My son is dead. Somebody please pray ...somebody help me to pray.somebody tell me what to pray. My 15 year old,Daniel, nephew was in a car accident last night...He had to have his spleen removed..His pelvic bone is broke..So much is happenning..The two girls that were riding with my nephew..well one of them is in Jackson with a scull fracture.the other girl was treated and released.The driver of the other vehicle..well I just don't know..we have'nt heard from anyone..My brother has no insurance on the vehicle..God..I am so tired...

Hello my dear sister!! Wow, you told me you were going to post today, and there's 3 from you!! It's so good to see your name at this Circle, you are missed here so much. You can see that yourself, I don't have to tell you, :-). Well, I already answered your e-mail, so I know about your tests and all, as I said, I'm so happy they were all done for you in one day, get them all over with at once. Our dear sister Selva, you are going through another trial in your life, and I agree, it's your pain and depression that's making you look on the negative side of things. I told you, God didn't bring you through your accident for nothing, He has other plan's for you! Just as Miss V has said, and I've shared here many a time, I wanted so badly to die too, after I lost Shane. I used to lay awake at night praying that God would take me home too, I did not want to live. During that time, I had an abnormal pap smear come back - and I was happy! I thought, oh good, I've got something really wrong with me and God is answering my prayers. I felt the same way as you do right now. But I was thinking and feeling through my pain and depression, and God, being MUCH wiser than me, :-) understood this and now I'm grateful for each day He give's me. I understand only too well how you are feeling, you're also talking through your pain and grief right now.
Let's just put our trust in God, that's where I've placed you, and whose better care and love to be under!! You are in the very BEST of Hands, and I don't even have to tell you this, we love you, we support you, we're all praying for you, and we're always here for you - that's from 'Angel Chief' herself, :-) The only 'chief' I am is here at home sometimes, ha, ha!! Love you dearly my sister,
Lots of love & lots of Tender Hugs,
Sandy

Hi my dear sister Sou, gee, it's so nice to see a Post from you on the weekend, hope and pray that you're still doing alright and staying strong, you gave some very good and wise advise to our pretty bird Sharon too, you always reach out to other Moms in pain, God bless you for it our dear AngelMom! Have a beautiful visit with little Sarah tomorrow, and tell her about all the new 'Auntie's' she has, :-)
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Our dear Miss V, what can I say, you also reach back and put your hand out, always have, and we love ya for it! As Tony the tiger would say, ggrreat to see you posting, :-) !!
Love from your crazy friend, oh, & {{Hugs}} too,
Sandy

My dear sister, Eva, ~ It was great talking to you! Concerning your post about praying ... Let me give you an example: Simply say, "Dear precious Father, I surrender all. I cannot deal with all of the storms that I am in the mist of at this very minute! God, I confess, I cannot do it ... Survive it all, without your strength and power. It seems that everywhere I turn, there is always another major storm headed my way! Lord, please rescue me from these powerful storms that the evil one keeps sending into my life! I just can't do it alone ... And, I have really, really tried! Losing my son was the ultimate storm, ... You have to know that! So, how can You, and others, expect me to press on? I am tired, Lord ... And I am weak. I just don't have the will or the desire to keep trying! My whole world seems to have fallen apart! Please help me, Lord! In Your Son Jesus' name, Amen!

Eva, please hear me ... You can pray a prayer such as the one above, or you can simply say a favorite prayer of mine; Which is, "Lord, have mercy on me!" Or, sometimes, when there are no words, I simply take a deep breath and sigh! You see, God is not impressed with words! He already knows about every storm in life we will ever have to face! Because we are human, and because we only see in part, the hard part for us is AFTER we pray, is that we hold on to the storms! We just don't believe ... [have faith] that God can or will answer our prayers! We, while in the eye of the storm can't see God or feel His presence! Yet, once He has brought us through such powerful, heart shattering storms, no one has to tell us that He was right in the center of each and every one of our life storms! Personally, I was one of the last to see God in the mist of my ultimate life storm, and also, the many that continued to pour in after that major storm of losing my beloved daughter, Diane. Besides having a mini stroke, and rupturing my ear drum from screaming ... Once I was finally able to breathe, I learned I would not be able to go be with my child ... Had to wait 3 days because the wreck happened on a holiday weekend!!! When the time came, my poor husband could not handle going with me ... Had it not been for Cheryl arriving from Texas the day after learning that her big sister had been killed, I would have had to go alone! Many, many shattering things happened before, during, and after the funeral that should have taken me out! But, you see, God, was right there in the mist of each of those storms ... I couldn't see Him or feel Him! Nor, did I discover it until AFTER He had delivered me, AND BROUGHT ME THROUGH EACH OF THOSE LIFE STORMS!!! Without going into details, I lost a brother, a niece, a nephew, and a close family friend within a year of Diane's death! There were many, many other devastating things that happened along my grief journey that I wouldn't even tell God, "IF" He didn't already know!

Right now, Eva, the evil one is on the prowl. I mean satan, ... Whose ultimate purpose in life is to steal, kill, and destroy all mankind ... Not just you, or me, or our children. The evil one knows his days are numbered; so he does not sleep. The only way we can defeat him is by turning everything over to God in prayer! Sounds simple ... But, it's the hardest thing in the world for us to learn to do! So, when you pray, ask God to help you, ... To give you the strength to let go, and trust Him to handle everything that satan throws your way! This is where your faith in a loving God comes in. Trust God to fight your battles, no matter how great the loss! ... No matter how powerful the storm! Each time you feel discouraged or depressed, ... Concentrate on surrendering your all to God!!! Have faith! He will see you through whatever the evil one throws your way! I beg of you ... Let go, and let God! Say to yourself, "God said it, I believe it, ... That settles it!" And, do it!!! That is, ... "ACCEPT GOD'S BLESSINGS!!!"
LOVE2U

Hey our Lisa Lou, :-) Happy Valentine's Day to you too! One of my friend's dropped in to visit today, and she said did you get a nice Card for today - I said yes, got lot's of them from my online friends, ha, ha, BUT I did get a big hug and kiss from my hubby, :-). AND a phone call from my Chris. Don't worry about it my friend, you call whenever you want to, just not at 6 am OK?, :-) You know I'm teasing you. That's terrific to hear that you're doing a little better, keep leaning on God, He WILL bring you through this! He worked through your Dr. to put you on the right meds., He love's you and want's so much to help you in your time of need, He's the only constant in our lives that we can count on always. Did you get the Video yet??
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Ah, our dear Eva, everything feel's like it's pressing in on you right now, God love you. When it happen's to me, I talk from my heart to God, He already know's what's in it, but because as our dear Marci put it, He has given us free will, and He wait's for us to come to Him! Go to Him right now - go into the bathroom if you have to, just to be alone with Him. ASK Him for His help - He will NEVER let you down! Our prayers and love are always with you, dear one, just make sure to keep pressing on in His love and His trust,
Much love & Tender Hugs,
Sandy

AY my dear sister Eva, we understand the pain, but please keep on Pressing On, we will storm Heaven for you, yes we can not understand, but God will help us to go through this, Ay my dear sister, what a horendous way, but He will help us. All of your Angel sisters are here to help you, we will storm Heaven with our prayers and beleive me God have His own way to to let you know that EVERYTHING IS ALL OK, please my sister, lets hang on together, lets keep our strenght together, and let us Pray, and I am sure that God will listen. Love you Selva

Dear Angel Moms/Dad, ~ Thank you for praying for me. Please know that I keep each of you in my prayers always.

I am feeling some better, but still not over whatever this is! Mostly my fault. :( I was feeling so bad last Wednesday, I had my hubby drive me to my doctor's office because I had taken all my meds and didn't want to chance driving. Well, I found out that I was supposed to have gone back for two additional shots the week before! The nurse made sure I heard her this time! :) She knows I don't hear well. She said when I didn't come back, she figured I was better, or must not have heard what the doctor said. Ha-ha! So, I had to start over and get 3 shots, 3 days in a row!!! OUCH! But, thank God, I am feeling some better. Getting lots of rest is still recommended, and liquids, liquids, liquids, and meds, meds, meds! :) So, keep praying moms/dad, 'Cause I still got a longggg way to go!

I took a nap today, and woke up missing my Diane. I guess it's because Babygirlcc didn't get a chance to come by on Valentine's Day. :( She and James spent the night at the hospital. One of James' nephews got shot six times at close range Friday, and was listed in critical condition. So, they were there all worn out and worried about him and trying to be there for his mom, who is one of James' sisters. I tell you, angel moms/dad ... It's getting so bad, a person can't go to anywhere without fear of losing their lives! According to the news article, there were three shootings in all that day, in less than three hours! One was a 12 year old kid wrestling over a gun held by a 15 year old, and apparently the gun went off. The third shooting was that of a 40 year old man, found sitting in his car with one bullet wound to the head. All, according to the news article had life-threatening wounds. If we ever needed to pray and count our blessings, it's nowadays! I will let you all know if James'nephew [who is in his early 20's]makes it through this. Please pray for all victims and their families.
God's peace and blessings,
Verna

To our newly bereaved angel moms/dads ... Sometimes those of us who are a little farther along on our grief journey write notes, letters, etc., to our kids. It may be something you may want to do at sometime during your grief journey. Some of us here have built memorials for our own individual kids, and sometimes on special days, or any day for that matter, we write to our kids, and to each other's angel kids. It's been a long time since I've written to my Diane, but tonight, I kinda felt like doing so. :) So, new moms/dads, just for your information, there is a place where you can build a memorial site here at Beliefnet. I still have not figured out how to add Diane's photo to her memorial site, but I will keep trying! If anyone can tell me how, pulleeze do!
Much love and prayers to all,
Verna

Dear Angela, I get worried when I don't hear from you or see a post from you. Praying that all is well with you and that you received the MO I sent a few days ago. I know you have special days coming up. Please know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Love & Hugs,
Verna

Dear Angel Dad, Angelo, ~ Praying that all is well with you as you are facing this trying time. My heartfelt prayers are with you and family through it all. Take care, and lean heavily on our Lord and Savior. He will see you through!
Love & Angel Hugs,
Verna

Hey Lisa, ~ I have been praying so hard asking God to please give you more peaceful moments. Please know that crying out to God will help you get rid of the pain as it builds up inside! I remember one of the most helpful things for me was to go into my bathroom, wet a face towel and cry into it quietly; taking deep breaths in between the sobs. But, when hubby was not around, believe me, I let it all hang out! I, too, had a problem with losing control. As a matter of fact, before losing Diane, I could count the times I actually cried about anything ... And I have had many reasons to cry. After I lost Diane, I literally had to learn how to cry "freely!" I also had to learn how to take long drives alone so that I could rid myself of the stress of having to wait until hubby was out of the house so I could cry! Ha-ha! Doing that really helped me get rid of a lot of built up grief that I held inside while on the job. I also did a lot of over time, paperwork/planning at school instead of home. For the first year or so, I literally lived in Diane's old room; I guess because that is where I was the last time I talked to her on the phone the day before she died. I still spend a lot of time reading or watching TV in her room because it's there that I feel her spirit so strongly! :) And, even after all this time ... I can still imagine hearing her voice as she would come over for a visit, announcing her arrival loud and clear with, "HELLOOOOOO MOTHER!" :) Oh the fond memories!!!

Just keep hanging in there, Lisa, Eva/Ron, Selva, Marci, Sou, Sharon, Deb, Billie, and all other angel moms/dads. Know that God loves you and He will see you through it all. I promise! Best if all, and most importantly, ... You have God's promise!!! For, He is the only one who can and will give each of you the peace for which we all pray! And, please, angel moms/dad, never accept ANYONE telling you it's time for you to move on!!! Ask God to help you forgive them, ... 'Cause they know NOT what they are talking about!!! The grief of losing a child is something that we NEVER get beyond. But, we can still find joy! We do that by meditating on the ongoing support, the kind and tender words of family and friends, and we allow those words to permeate our beings, ... until we become joyful souls! Only then will we be able to say, in the words of an old spiritual, "Even after all I've been through ... Still, I find joy!"
Much love & Tender Angel Hugs,
Miss V. :)

Good Morning AngelMoms's, Dads,

Monday, the start of a brand new week, my prayers for all is that this week will be a little easier on all of you who are experiencing much pain and grief right now.
Miss V, you're probably sleeping right now, I see you were up late posting, :-)
I received an e-mail from Angela this morning that she's formatting her C Drive and is fine, will be back online once it's completed. Good Lord Miss V, James' nephew shot 6 times? I hope he's alright, what a terrible stress for his family, I don't understand where these young people get these guns? Very sad.
Today is a Holiday here in Canada, but not a mandatory one, only gov't employees, civic employee's have the day off - which doesn't sit well with my hubby, :-) It's a bit chilly out but the sun is shining, inside and out, so the day is off to a good start!

On Saturday, I received a letter from someone here at Beliefnet, who disapproves of my Profile and wants to save me form the Eternal Damnation of Hellfire and Brimstone,, ha, ha! I have no idea who the person is, I've never heard of their Username before. I don't give a rat's behind what anybody think's of my Profile, beliefs, but what I do care about are people like this person, who are intolerant and judgemental. I wrote them a nice letter back, but of course haven't heard from them again, :-). Just have to pray for them, that their heart is opened as well as their mind.

Yes, our AngelDad Angelo, haven't heard from you in a bit, hope and pray you're doing alright with your sweet Angela's trial, you know our love and prayers are with you dear Angelo.
Deb my friend, haven't heard from you in a while either, let us know how you're doing.
My heart, love and prayers are with all of you,
Lots of love & lots of Hugs,
Sandy

Hi my dear Angel sisters and brothers. Ay Miss V what terrible news about James's nephew, of course we will storm Heaven for him, such a young guy, Oh my God please save him!. Hi Eva, my friend just to let you know that I am praying for you too, just hang in there and God will show up, I promise and so does HIM. Hi Lisa, I have not been able to go back and read the posts but my dear sister you know I am always praying for all my dear sisters and brothers, one day at a time Lisa, that is all we can do, and hang on to God even when our faith fails us. My dear sister Sandy, I'm still hanging in there, the therapist came by today and told me that he thinks in about 2 weeks I will be able to walk with just a cane and get rid of the walker (I feel like if I am 90), in the meantime I'm working from home a little bit at a time, my sister is going nuts with the taxes and I can not help much, it makes me feel awful. I can't wait to go back to work, I guess by thursday I will know the results of the tests and if I have to go back for more, Juny is driving me to my appts, the poor thing is having little problems at home again, I am trying to help her as much as I can, please my sisters pray for her too, she is a good kid and don't deserves any bad thing. Love you all my dear sisters. Selva

Good Day Angel Moms & Dads,
Sandy, no I haven't gotten the video yet, but I am anxiously waiting for it.
Did I tell ya'll that my Christopher is going to Germany for spring break? I am so excited for him. I am a little scared but I know this is a once in a lifetime chance for him. He seems to be doing very well right now. He is working a lot of hours and taking one college class. He hopes to go to school full time next semester. I am so proud of him. I wish I were going to Germany. I have never been out of the U.S. I would love to travel. What I really want to do is take an Alaskan Cruise! That would be so awsome!
Eva,
My heart aches for you, I know all too well the kind of pain you are in. It seems like when it rains it pours with all the life storms in our lives. Sometimes I don't know how we make it. But God brings us through it. That has to be the only answer, because I know I could not get through this life without him. I cannot do it alone. Most of the time I too am at a loss for words when it comes to praying. I know the Lord's Prayer by heart and that is the one I say over and over and then I just talk to God. He doesn't care about the structure of our prayers or sentences he just wants us to pray and realize he is there for us. I know a while back you posted about having your niece living with you. How did that come out? Does she live with you? That is so sad about your nephew, but thank God it wasn't worse. Keep the faith and keep pressing on!