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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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Sarahmyangel
2/10/2004 10:47

Hi Dear Lisa,

I am so sorry for your auntie I hope it is not that serious and that if she removes her uterus she will be ok. Does she have kids or was she planning to have any? My mother had her uterus removed and it was better than she had thought.

I am also very sorry for your poor step daughter, she must be devasted, finally made it to 13 weeks and then losing the baby again. It's horrible and I don't wish that to my worst enemy. I can understand that she doesn't want to try anymore, I am scared to hell when I think of a pregnancy and 'only' had one loss! My mother had 3 until she had 5 live births after that, so there is hope somewhere. Did she do all the tests she has to? Did the docs ever tell her to take baby aspirin? I heard it helps with early miscarriages. There a lot of groups on yahoo.com, I am sure she can find a lot of support and help there, for any future pregnancies.

You are in my prayers
Sou


shaner
2/10/2004 13:46

Hello my dear Sou, yes, what struck me immediately about your post was that you show'd a lot of strength in it, and a new determination! Hurray for you my sister, :-) I'm so happy that Miss V's post helped you, once again bolstering your faith and bringing you out of that black hole again. Her word's were exactly what you needed right now! STAY strong my sister, read the Qu'ran, and know that God's will for you is to be happy - I do know that's hard right now, (for you to feel happy) but somewhere down the road.....
Love you my sister and praying that your strength will remain strong,
Lots of Angel Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
2/10/2004 14:33

Hi Everyone, here are two link's for those who may be experiencing the difference about how Dad's and Mom's express their grief differently, they come from AngelMom Cin, who lost her daughter Kristina On March 15/2000, she e-mailed them to me,
link

link

Love Me


tkh63
2/10/2004 17:01

I haven't posted for awhile. Is there a support group I can log in to? I appreciate the prayer group but I am having a very hard time lately and was wondering if maybe there is somewhere that I can turn. I'm kind of at a loss for prayer. Thanks, Teri


SELVAM
2/10/2004 20:13

Hi my dear sisters. I'm sorry I have not been able to go back and read all the posts, I can not sit down for a long time. Sue you are a very brave and wonderful Angel, I am sure that God will listen to our prayers for you, Lisa I am so sorry about your aunt, but please believe in the power of prayers. All my Angel sisters I am feeling a little better with my pshysical pain, still can not sit down, lay down or walk for a long time but I am hanging in there. I got my laptop and I am working for a while connected at my office (I don't have so many sick days) but it is helping me to keep my mind busy, valley days are overwhelming (excuse my spelling). I have an appt on friday for 2 scans, then on feb 20 I have the mammogram test, then I will let you know the outcome. I am happy if it is something that I could be with Solange soon, but at the same time I am sad for my brother and sister, I am just leaving it all to God. Please my sister, even if I don't post often, you are all in my prayers, and my love for you is still there. May God Bless You All.Love Selva


shaner
2/10/2004 22:17

Hello mi dear sister, it is a joy to see a Post from you here!! I just finished answering your e-mail, and now have another wonderful surprise waiting here, I'm so happy you could post at your Circle, everyone is worried and praying for you as I told you! You are MISSED SO much here!! Oh my dear sister, I don't know whether to be angry with you or hold you in a Bear Hug, that may be want you want right now, but as I told you God write's the final Chapter. You're not going anywhere, you were brought through the accident for a reason, and too many people here need you so badly. Who would Juny have to turn to for the motherly advice she need's so badly? What about Nancy and Gus? What about us, your other family? Yes, we are leaving it ALL in God's Hands, and that's where it's staying. In the meantime you just rest, heal all those injuries, and the inner one's too, but you know we love you dearly and will support you in any way that we can, we're in for the long haul!
Love you mi dear sister, & lots of Tender Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
2/10/2004 22:29

Hi dear Teri, yes, it has been a long time since you posted! This is more of a Support Group than a Prayer Circle, of course we pray for each other, it's the best gift we can give to one another. Just read the page before this one, everyone who posted was having a very difficult day and weekend. Nobody here expects you to pray if you can't! Have you tried the Grief and Loss Boards here at Beliefnet? There are so many, many support groups out there, especially for parents who've lost a child, some are very good, other's not so, but you'd only find out which is best for you by trial and error, so to speak. I'm so sorry dear one that you're experiencing so much pain and grief, it's the hardest loss in the world for a Parent. If you write me at sewhalen@yahoo.com I'll tell you of some very good one's I know, my heart is with you dear Teri,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


ALEXZNANGEL
2/11/2004 01:27

Hello AngelMoms and Dads,
I am feeling a bit better; a lot of prayer and just relying on my Heavenly Father to see me through. I think the medication has been helping also; my thoughts are clearer and not racing through my head like they were before.I praise God and thank all that prayed for me. Thank you sooo very much! There was so much pain in some of our previous posts; to see the AngelMoms that were stronger reaching out to the AngelMoms feeling weak...what a gift that was. I will forever be touched by that. Bless you all.
Susan
Mom of Alex
2Jan83-8May03
Forever 20...


LOVE2U
2/11/2004 02:10

Dear Billie, ~ I'm sorry to be late getting here. I want you to know that I thought about you and said a little prayer that God would help you make it through very special day; Your Nick's birthday. Love & Angel Hugs, Verna


Happy birthday, Nicholas! In my minds eye, I imagined seeing you surrounded by all of our angel kids in God's beautiful heavenly garden, smiling radiantly as they sang "Happy Birthday" to you! I pictured our Lord and Savior, our Father, God, and all the heavenly host joining in. I heard you whisper a very special heavenly wish ... That God would allow you to send your mom a sign to assure her that you are alive and well, and happy and Joyful! And, most importantly, that you felt no pain during your exit from the earth realm! As a matter of fact ... God and the heavenly host of angels allowed you to watch the entire scene from above! ... Just as it appeared to unfold here on earth. And, you wanted your mom to know, that you love her bunches, and are looking forward to spending all of eternity with her, once her work here on earth is finished. I saw God smile and give you an assuring nod, that your wish would come true many, many times in the days ahead! My gift to you, Nick, is my continued unconditional love and support for your mom. God has assured me that your beloved mom is a survivor, and that He will see to it that she is surrounded by angel moms and angel dads throughout her grief journey! Be sure to give God a big hug, and tell Him "Thanks!" for always being there for your mom, and all angel moms & dads! Especially during special days!!! God knows, ... It's not easy, but together, with God's help, we will do it for our angel kids! You can count on it!!! :) Always and Forever ... LOVE2U,

Angel Mom~Verna,

Mother of Diane

08/16/60 - 08/31/96


LOVE2U
2/11/2004 06:07

Dear God,
I pray for the parents and family of your precious angel, Carlie. I also pray for all who knew and loved her. I pray also for all who did not know her personally, but prayed heartfelt prayers for her safe return. God, I know in my heart that you did not allow this precious little angel to suffer at the hands of the pervert that tried to take Carlie from her family and friends. I have faith that you spared her by sending her guardian angel to lift her above it all. Carlie will be sadly missed by all, and her death will not be in vain. Thank you for welcoming Carlie into your kingdom. Please let her know that she has touched the heart and soul of people all over the world. Walk with her parents through this untimely storm, Lord. Please, Father, give them peace of mind as only you can. These things I ask, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Amen!



Sarahmyangel
2/11/2004 08:25

Good morning Angelmoms and dad,

It's great to see Susan that you are feeling better. Good that the medications are working but keep going to that little church close to you, we find a lot of peace of heart in God's houses. Hope your spirits stay lifted and lift higher!

Dear Teri, as our dear Sandy said it, this is more a support group than a prayer circle, we vent here and support the ones who are in need, in good times there are some who can give support to the ones who are down and in not so good times, almost all of us are down but we still manage to say something that supports the other, and just the knowledge that you are not alone in your pain helps a lot! So tell us about your pain and God willing we are here for you.

Hola Selva! How great to see you typing again! It was a bit weird to read that you are looking forward to pass on. I always have those thoughts but hearing it from others gives it a whole new picture. While I can understand you it's still hard to imagine that you won't be here and hopefully you will stay with us for a while ;o)
Probably you had the accident so they can finally find those cells and help you? We never know why things happen, sister.

Dear Sandy, I hope you are doing well so far. I am much much better too, actually my husband and I started joking about Sarah, like how tiny her butt is! We were cracking up yesterday. I told him that when we are in heaven I don't want her to grow but stay a baby, he thought I was nuts, she would be twenty years old and so little and we still give her toys and she would be angry at us and tell us to stop giving her toys but bring her a nice young man ect. It was good to laugh about how she would react and imagine her with us. That keeps her alife.

God bless you all
Sou

Mom of tiny Sarah
9/7/03 - 9/7/03


shaner
2/11/2004 13:57

Hello dear Susan, it's such a relief to see your Post, and knowing you are doing a little better also! I'm so happy for you dear one that the meds. and all our prayers have helped to 'dull' those images and you're able to think clearer and not have your mind racing, I know all this is still very painful for you, but your Post sound's very hopeful and a little happier than your previous one, dear AngelMom. I also think it helped that you were able to vent your feeling's, as painful as they were, you were able to release some of them here and know this is a very safe place to do so! It's a rough Journey, but at least here you have support, love and help when these day's become overwhelming. May God continue to bless you and bring you His peace to help you along the 'Road',
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
2/11/2004 14:24

Hello my dear sister Sou! Yeppers, I'm doing good lately, no more crazy dreams, :-) I miss my Shane, God's Shane, but I always will, it's a part of my life now, just like everyone else. YES, you sound much better dear Sou, hurray for you dear AngelMom and I pray that more and more laughter will continue to fill your life and your dear hubby's! Ha, ha, that's cute, you're cracking me up here, with what your husband said, :-) You're so blessed that your husband and you can talk freely about your little Pearl, and share memories and wonder about the day you and he will finally be reunited with her! It's wonderful and heartwarming that you both can keep her memory alive, it sure does help, doesn't it and I know she was listening to you both, :-).
Are you still going on your trip, or is that on hold until your house and kitchen are completed? Are you getting used to your braces now?
Much love my dear sister & lots of Angel Hugs,
Sandy
Mom of Shane
28/05/74 - 15/03/99


valour
2/11/2004 21:24

Dear (((((Angel Mom's & Dad's)))))

A Bereaved Mom Sharon wrote this poem for Carlie Brucia so we made a page in honor of Carlie! Carlie's Page

Got an em from Dear Sister Verna! Oh Goodness, how can people be so sick! We need the Lord Jesus to come soooo badly!!!

I am approaching my mom & sister's death anniversary March 7 and am getting uptight about it. Appreciate your prayers to get thru it. My sis took her life the same day as my mom, just different years.

Thanks Sandy and All

Love Angela xoxoxo


valour
2/11/2004 21:35

Dear (((((Angel Mom's & Dad's)))))

A Bereaved Mom Sharon wrote this poem for Carlie Brucia so we made a page in honor of Carlie! Carlie's Page

Got an em from Dear Sister Verna! Oh Goodness, how can people be so sick! We need the Lord Jesus to come soooo badly!!!

I am approaching my mom & sister's death anniversary March 7 and am getting uptight about it. Appreciate your prayers to get thru it. My sis took her life the same day as my mom, just different years.

Thanks Sandy and All

Love Angela xoxoxo


shaner
2/11/2004 21:57

Hi dear Ang, such a tender, sweet and sad poem for little Carlie, she has the face of an Angel, doesn't she. Her story touched so many, none of the prayer's said for her were in vain, God in His Mercy and Love will use them as He see's fit, her family will certainly benefit from them, He is an awesome God that we love and serve. Miss V's sick - she posted here today, yesterday and I received some jokes from her in my e-mail today, I think she overdoes it sometimes. Of course we'll remember your Mom and Sister's upcoming Anniversaries, may He give you His peace and comfort that surpasses all other's on that day, dear one.
Thanks for posting the link, tell Sharon it's beautiful,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


beachmom45
2/11/2004 23:26

Dear Lisa,
I want you to know that when you post of your desolation and anguish, that you give to us grieving moms much more than you could imagine. You let us know that we all GRIEVE and thatís okay. I must tell you that my experience at our sonís funeral was similar to yours. I wanted to be a big girl and not cry. I knew that all eyes would be on me. There were over 500 people at the church and cemetery. Before the service began I noticed that many of the swimmers that my son had coached and swam with were sitting in the front of the church crying. My daughter Kristi and I stood up and went person by person and consoled and hugged each one. We were would have hugged each and every person in the church if the Pastor had not been ready to begin the service. After the funeral it was a different story. Believe meÖI WAILED, and I did so daily. I went to bed crying and would wake up in the morning sobbing my heart out. As the song goes ďI could have filled up the oceans with all of my tears.Ē

I wanted to share with you something that I do not share with many others. I have had FOUR beautiful children, and THREE miscarriages. I miscarried in between each live birth. I want to encourage you and your step daughter that all things are possible. Doctors are not GOD nor do they always know exact outcome. I have had a tough time having my babies (not getting pregnant!) I had four Caesareans and went into labor with them all except my last. My second Caesarean was without anesthesia (just a topical Ė talk about pain!) My third I got a small tear in my Uterus. My fourth I finally just gave up; had six months of bed rest (ha-ha) and scheduled his birth. After my third pregnancy (my second child), my doctor told me to tie my tubes that I would never carry another pregnancy to full term if I could even conceive again! (I had endometriosis and fibroids) Boy was he wrong! Not only did I go on and conceive again I did so TWO YEARS AFTER MY HUSBANDS VASCECTOMY! It had re-canalled, his sperm count was so high they didnít bother counting! Talk about Godís WILL! Of course the doctors said to abort the pregnancy because I would never carry it to full term. I had to sign my life away to have this baby! I was considered a high-risk pregnancy and everyone was afraid of malpractice. I knew that I was strong and healthy and that with God all things are possible. Two years after my fourth child was born I had a hysterectomy. It was one of the best things that could ever happen for me. No more pain, no periods etc. I never experienced any of the discomfort or difficulties others might have had. They did leave one ovary= so that I didnít go through sudden menopause. Itsí been 14 years and I am 45 years old now and going through some symptoms of menopauseÖhot flashes , moods etc. (Or maybe itís just having teenagers!?)

Lisa, I am praying for your Step-daughter, that God would just bless her and comfort her. She only wants what he has asked us to do, to have a family. I am also praying for your Aunt that she will be blessed with a speedy recovery. I pray that God will sanctify you and your family and that you will be filled with His love and encouraged by His goodness. May God comfort you and give you peace.

With much love,
Marci~.~
Sean-Michael age 18
7/15/85 to 8/92003


beachmom45
2/11/2004 23:29

Dearest Angelmoms and Angeldads,
February 9th is the six month anniversary of my beloved Sean-Michaels passing. It seems like yesterday that we were all in such a panic. Has it gotten any easier? MaybeÖI think the pain in my heart has calmed down to a dull roar. At first I wanted to hate God. HE BETRAYED ME. After all I did every thing he wanted me to do! I went to church, I did bible studies, I prayed for my husband, my children, my church, my community, and my nation. I thought that he didnít HEAR my PRAYERS the night Sean died. Maybe he did. I still donít understand completely. What I do know is that GOD PROMISES US THAT WE WILL NEVER HAVE TO BE ALONE. THAT HE WILL BE WITH US THROUGH THE STORM. This is the biggest storm of my life. I have called on him in absolute anger and grief. I have come to him on my knees letting him know that I can not go through this on my own. I know that it is only with Gods help that I am going to make it through.

With much love and prayers to all, Marci~.~
Sean-Michael age 18
7/15/85 to 8/92003


beachmom45
2/11/2004 23:39

Our Dearest Sandy,
You are such a comfort to everyone. Just reading your replies to others gives me comfort also.

Now about your swimming! How about using FINS (not flippers=those are for seals)and a kick board?! The fins will correct your kicking technique and build endurance and muscel. The kickboard will also add a little variety. Do you know any strokes besides freestyle? If possible change your workout by doing drills and working on other strokes. Let me know what other strokes you know...Maybe I can give you a generalized workout.

With much love, Marci~.~


shaner
2/12/2004 15:45

Hello dear Marci, terrific to see another Post from you! I remember one of the first post's from you, where you expressed how you were feeling, and how you felt so betrayed by God. I know He heard your prayers that night, we'll never fully understand this side of the veil, but one day....
At least now you know you're not alone having those feelings, so many other Moms here have expressed much the same.
I never went through the anger phase at God, in all humility, it does not make me any better than anyone else, boy of boy, I was so angry with other people! Just an example - someone sent us a Sympathy Card, and it was addressed only to my husband - I refused to even look at the Card and then ripped it up. In hindsight, very petty of me. I was very vulnerable in my grief at that time, and thing's like that made me very angry. I could go on and on, :-) but it was people who made me angry (hurt), thank goodness I was going to Support Meetings at that time, I understood that my feeling's were normal, my grief was so all-consuming, it didn't leave any room for rational thought :-). It is the biggest storm in our lives, and the only refuge I found was in God. That's me though, everyone handles their grief differently, and being angry with God is also very normal. He has promised to be with us though any storm in our life, and this IS the biggest as I said. Hold on tightly to that truth. it's only been 6 months for you and it's a little better? I believe that's proof right there that He is helping you, at 6 months I was still 24/7 with my pain. Maybe you've slowed down on those bites with the elephant, I pray so my sister!
The swimming - OK, ya got me Marci, what are 'fins'? And yep, that's what I meant about varying my swimming, I'm getting a little bored doing freestyle. I know the butterfly stroke, but I find it very challenging, :-) Are there any other's that I could incorporate? I can't think of the technical names off the top of me head, :-) ANY help, suggestions are most welcome and thanks so much for taking an interest and offering your expertise! Maybe I just will try out for the Canadian Olympic trials, ha, ha!
Much love, prayers & lots of Angel Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
2/12/2004 20:51

Our pretty bird, AngelMom Sharon, I hope you're doing alright. I really hope and pray your son is on the mend, I know his injuries were serious, God love him. You indicated in your last post that you were taking a week off to look after him, and still had major problems of your own, ontop of your grief over your precious Benji. Just worried about you, my heart and prayers are with you dear one,
Much love & lots of Tender Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
2/12/2004 21:02

Don't Turn Away
Please don't be fooled by the game I play or the mask I wear. It's only for your benefit so you won't feel uncomfortable or turn away when you're around me.
Don't be fooled because I don't talk about it, and don't think it still doesn't hurt. I don't talk about it for fear that you'll be embarrassed by your lack of words and just walk away from me.
Don't be fooled by my idle chatter. I tell you everything that's nothing and nothing of what's everything crying inside me. If you have nothing to say about my pain, that's okay. Just share your kindness and listen to me. Just share your heart and be there for me.
And if ever you need the same kindness, and understanding, I'll be there for you.
I promise.
Just don't turn away.

Bereaved Parents, Ont. Chapter


prettybirdluvsu
2/13/2004 16:39

Hi all angel moms and dads i also have been in alot of pain there are days when i want to go forward and days backwards but still just rying to make it through i miss all your comforting words i see all my sisters in so much pain daily life has taken alot from us i hope everything gets better i pray every day and sometimes non stop for better tomarrows i am asking god for strengh right now to see us all through these hard times and to ease our pains of our sick family members my son is healing and i am trying to be strong i still have many obstacles to endure but i know with the love of my family here and god i can make it through any barriers i am given i am thankful for you all and asking god to protect you all from this awful pain of lonliness for our children last night i looked at Benji and just cannot believe he is far from me i spent a day in bed yesterday i just had to much to handle and so i slept through it and it was the first that i talked with Benji and i heard myself crying for him it was strange because i knew he was there with me i want to reconnect with him because i miss him so much but i am afraid i am still punishing myself my uncle had called me when Sean got hurt and said that i should look at my life and see what is in it that don't belong there he said first god took your first son now he wants another do you think that was selfish of him to say that? i still do believe that i am bieng fallowed by evil every day i am plaqued with bad luck i try my best to handle it but i am jinked does anyone believe in this i even ask my religious friends but i get no reply but i never give up on my savior or question him i love god so much that i know he has plans for me weven through my suffering i pray every day for you all and miss you when i am not here never doubt you are forgotten about love prettybird


shaner
2/13/2004 23:14

Hello our pretty bird, AngelMom Sharon, it is so good to hear from you!
I know you're undergoing many trials right now, and when we didn't hear from you, I was worried. That's wonderful news that your Sean is healing, you must be so happy about that, and relieved too! So are we, dear one! Please don't be anxious if your grieving has taken a step or two back, it's so early in your Journey for you it's only natural that you're still in such deep pain, and missing your sweet Benji so much. Your Benji is not far away from you my sister, but I know it's not much solace, it's their physical presence in our lives that we miss so much, just to see them again, hug them, hear their voice, at time's it is unbearable, but Our Lord and your strong faith will help you through all those black hole days and slowly emerge from the darkness that is your pain right now. Why are you still punishing yourself? You know in your heart and soul that there is NOTHING you could have done to prevent Benji's death, the guilt lay's with those who took his life, on the other hand though, I think most of us feel some 'guilt' over our child's passing, we couldn't save them with our strong maternal instinct, from the ultimate. So I DO understand some of the guilt you're feeling, it's very common for us to feel some, but please don't take it to the extreme, I can't say it enough, Benji's death was NOT your fault! Are you still going ahead with your lawsuit, I believe much of what you don't know will be brought to light by it, and it may just be a soothing balm for your heart. You're very vulnerable in your pain right now, try not to take to heart what other's are saying to you, even family members, only you know in your own heart what is right and what is truth, staying true to your heart and your beliefs is what will get you through this storm. I personally don't believe in jinxes, do you have a Pastor, Minister, etc., that you can comfortably talk to about all these trials you're enduring right now, they are better equipped to give out the spiritual advice you need right now, if you yourself believe that you're under some sort of 'spiritual attack' or 'spiritual warfare', ask Our Lord to wrap you in His loving white light of protection, and to place His warring Angels around you right now. Keep your eyes squarely fixed on Our Lord, and He will bring you out of this His great love for you know's no bounds.
You're so sweet and loving to think and pray for everyone else when you're in great pain yourself, I know everyone here appreciated and is very grateful for your love and prayers for all, and never doubt that our's are with you always too, I promise to be here for you and support you in any way I can, and I know the other AngelMom's will do the exact same thing. You are such a loving, kind soul, with a big heart, and we are blessed to call you 'sister', and I know that God will bless you mightily in your pain, keep leaning heavily on Him! Don't be a stranger either, :-) we all love and care for you dear mother of Benji,
Much love, prayers and lots of Tender Hugs,
Sandy

 
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