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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.

1/26/2004 08:30

I'm also MISSING some other AngelMoms around here, Sou, Marci, Susan, Sharon, (our pretty bird), SharonLee, MyPearlie, et al, haven't heard from you in a bit, pray that all is well, but miss your postings!!
Much love & Tender Hugs,

1/26/2004 15:00

Good Afternoon AngelMoms, I haven't posted for a few days. I find that I can deal with my sadness or I can deal with day to day stuff; but I can't do both yet. I have 2 teenagers still at home, a 16 year old son and a 15 year old daughter (diva in training)So most of the time there is some sort of drama going on here. My son is ready to get his driver's license and I am frightened out of my mind. When my first two sons got their license I had the typical Mom fears, but Alex's death has made those a reality. The police told me that Alex's accident was no one's fault. There was another accident up ahead and traffic was slowing down. Alex was afraid he was going to be rear ended so he pulled into the median to avoid being hit. He lost control and came back onto the interstate and was hit by an 18 wheeler.This kind of accident can happen to anyone including my son Weston. He doesn't see that...he just wants to drive...and I just want to protect him. I know I should give it to the Lord; I'm working on that.
My AngelMom and Dad family continues to be in my prayers. I pray especially for the AngelMoms that have heartache compounded by physical pain. Father God, surround this circle with Your love and grace!

1/26/2004 15:48

Hello dear Susan, great to see a Post from you, you have been missed! Good for you, dear AngelMom being able to cope with your grief. I can only imagine how difficult it is to try and cope with both, your daughter, a 'diva' in training, :-) and your son Weston who want's to get his license. I can look at it and say, I understand how anxious he must be to get his, and as a Mom I can relate to your reluctance over him getting one, after losing Alex in a car accident. I think Weston's looking at it far different than you are naturally, not really comprehending your fear's over the same happening to him, as it did to your precious Alex.
I know that all of us tend to get over-protective with our other children, I did, and I didn't lose Shane in a car accident. I used to say to both my boys though when driving to be careful, "it doesn't have to be you, someone else could cause the accident", and in your situation, dear one, it did happen. So your fear's are well founded right now. Very tough call for you and your hubby right now!
My prayer's are with you that some sort of peaceful? compromise can be reached between you and Weston. And don't be a stranger around here, :-)
Love & Angel Hugs,

1/26/2004 21:08

Good Evening Angel Moms & Dads,
I haven't posted in a few days myself and not nearly as often as I would like to. You are all always in my prayers.
Boy, I can sure relate to what you are going through. Everytime my youngest son leaves the house I worry. I think I have gotten a bit better but the random thoughts still go through my mind, especially if he is late, etc. My son was also killed in an auto accident. Hang in there and just remember that the opposite of worry is faith.(at least that is what someone told me) I try to remember that all the time. Oh, I also read your post from the previous page about your dream and your tatoo. That is so cool that you have dreamed and it was so real. I haven't had any dreams yet, but am still waiting. I too got an angel tatoo for my son. It is an angel wearing sunglasses floating on a cloud with his initials in the cloud. I love it. I used to always give him a hard time about tatoos, I think he would really laugh at me for getting this one. But only for him (if you know what I mean..)
How old was Alex?


1/26/2004 21:12

Like always I want to thank you for taking the time out to email me. It really means a lot to me. Are you guys still getting freezing weather? I read about you swimming and that is something that I have been thinking about for a long time now. I guess I just need to do it! Like you, huh? I am so out of shape, it's not funny. Since Aaron has died I haven't done one bit of any kind of exercise. I can really tell too. Keep up the good work!

1/26/2004 21:13

I just read your post about Michaels trial coming up in March. I had no idea that you had to go through that. Please know my prayers will be with you.

1/27/2004 09:39

Hi dear Lisa, great to see a Post from you, you've been missed around here too!
Yep, we're due to get a Storm today, I was teasing 2 other of my American friends, they always em me and say thanks Canada for the weather, this time the storm is from Oklahoma of all places, so of course I teased them back, :-) I know you're going through some very rough times right now dear one, it's a very difficult Journey, isn't it. That's what happened to me, I didn't have the inclination or interest in anything the first couple of year's afer Shane passed, then I started walking, but according to my Dr., it wasn't enough, so took up swimming and just love it! Believe it or not, it actually gives you more energy, and helps to work off the stress in your life. So don't be a procrastinator like me, dear AngelMom, and take good care of yourself, :-)
Much love & Angel Hugs,

1/27/2004 10:54

Hi everybody i know you only want to hear good things but i have been out of work for the last week due to my son he was in an accident 4 wheeler he was hit by an oncoming car and was seriously injured i am back at work today because i have to pay my bills and take care of my 2 children but am having a hard time i am asking for all prayers my son is 12 years old and i could not imagine what my life would be like without him when i heard of the accident i was in shock i stil am having valley days but i am doing fine i love al you angel moms and dads and thought of you all on my long journey

1/27/2004 11:17

today is Benji 7 month bieng gone i am sad today along with seeing my son suffer

1/27/2004 15:22

Hi Angelmoms!

Just coming by to say hi, I haven't posted for a few days, I didn't have any Valley Days, it's been busy but I pray for all of you every day.

Just a little thing to share, I saw my therapist last Sunday and she suggest that I should read a few pages of Quran (or Bible, or Thora) every night for my specifically daughter. She will get her rewards for it and I have the feeling that I am doing something for her altough she's not with me here. Might be an idea for you,too!

Dear Sharon, I am so sorry to hear about the accident, I pray that your son will get well and happily jumping around soon. I can imagine the shock you had when you got the news. God be with you.

God bless you all!

1/27/2004 15:35

Dear Angel Moms,Sorry I haven't posted for awhile,my M.S.has been acting up.Last week my brother-in-law took a turn for the worst last week and was listed as critical.Well this morning we had a Miracle! He woke up,knew where he was,the respirator was removed and he called his wife! We want to thank everyone for all their prayers! He still has along way to go,so please keep praying. Also last week I found out my sister-in-law on my husband side has a tumor on her purtary gland the size of a dime,this is in the brain and is pressing on her eye cortex.She is now a single mother of two children and she is in her mid 30's,so I'm asking for more prayers for her also.She'll will have to have surgery,which is very dangerous & delicate surgery.
On a good note my Danielle who has liver problems has lost 23lbs.which is suppose to help with this problem.We got back to her doctor on Feb 5th,we are hoping for improvement in her condition.
I'm praying for all of you who have lost their children,that the Dear Lord will help get you through this time in your life,and stay beside you always.
May God Bless All of You

1/27/2004 17:20

I would like to ask your prayers for a woman named Veronica. Recently her son was shot 5 times in the head by the police, who are claiming it was a "suicide by cop" killing. The young man was 32, and was cutting himself with a knife. Veronica was afraid he would really hurt himself, and called a crisis center, who in turn called the police. The police entered the home, went in the basement where the man's room was, ten minutes later, he was dead. Veronica is blaming herself, wishing she would never have called the crisis line. She heard everything happening, and says the death of her son was unnecessary. Two days later her husband succombed to cancer. This is a very sad situation, and I have had the chance to minister to her, but we are a needy people, and we can use the prayers of the saints! God bless you as the Holy Spirit brings Veronica to your minds and you are obedient to pray for her. Thank you all so much. Jesus will be pleased as we are His hands and feet extended.

1/27/2004 22:04

Hello Sunny 10, ~ Thank you for your prayer request for your dear friend, Veronica. You may be sure that she will be prayed for here! May God bless you for your show of concern and compassion.

Dear Lord, ~ Please have mercy on your child, Veronica, as she grieves the tragic loss of her precious son, which has been compounded by the loss of her dear husband only two days later. Father, I can't begin to imagine the magnitude of her grief and pain. Still, just the thought is enough to take my breath away! Lord, I ask that You would please wrap Your loving arms around our dear sister in Christ, and give her the strength, courage, and support of family and friends, and yes, even strangers that You send into her life to help her weather such a heart shattering storm. Please let her know and feel the results of the many prayers that are being prayed for her, now and in the days, weeks, and months ahead. I ask these blessings for Veronica, in Jesus' Holy name, Amen!

1/27/2004 22:21

Hello everyone and thank you so much for your prayers. Hubby is back home now, and in no great pain. They ended up doing only the "dye thing" because his blood pressure was so high. They ended up having to give him 3 different kinds of blood pressure meds just to get it under control so that they could do the procedure. His doctor decided to delay the surgery due to the fact that he presently has enough blood flowing around the aneurysm to his feet(?) They also told him that they needed to adjust his blood pressure meds and get that more under control. They told him that he needs to start walking again, but it was pretty cold here this morning, so he decided to ride my stationary bike instead, since he is also recovering from the flu. He is scheduled to go back in a month, and have everything checked again. So, again, thanks to everyone for your prayers.
Love & Angel Hugs,

1/28/2004 03:59

Dear Angel moms,
Thank you for your prayers and i hope Selva is doing better and Verna I'm glad things are going well for you too. Thank you for the advice Vena and preparing me for what lies ahead of my family and I. I'm so thank full to be able to always come here when I'm feeling so down. You all here help me so much. It hurts reading some of the post but helps me too... I come here alot and don't post and then some times I do. With all the snow outside I'm home today and sitting around just thinking how the snow is so beautiful and what fun the boys would of had if we had some snow like this when they were young. all everyone remembers is the blizard of 78. so long ago. I hope things are well for you all and lots of thoughts and prayers to all. god bless.


1/28/2004 13:36

Hello our dear pretty bird, no, we don't want to hear just good news, so please don't ever feel that way! We all share in each other's pain, grief, that's what the Circle is for. It's great to hear from you, I was getting worried because you usually post, now I know why you weren't able to, God bless you. I pray your son is doing better, yes, it must have been a great shock to you, dear AngelMom! I can only imagine how your heart must have been in your throat when you found out about your 12 yr. old's accident! Little wonder dear one that you're having strong valley days, with this happening on top of your grieving over your beloved Benji. I wasn't online yesterday, but I know how we Mom's mark the time since we lost our child. Know that Benji's 7th month Anniversary is honoured here, and our love and prayers are with you, and of course with your dear son, please let us know how he's doing, as well as yourself,
Much Love & Angel Hugs,

1/28/2004 13:50

Hello dear Sou, wonderful to see a Post from you too, and so happy for you that you're doing better! It sound's as though your Therapist is helping you a lot, and giving you some very good advice on things to do to help with your grief. Oh yes, :-) reading from the Quarn, Bible or Torah do bring much comfort and peace to all who do, in my own faith, we strongly believe in praying for those who have passed on, to help them on their spiritual journey in Heaven. So it makes you feel good to pray for them, and in return, receive their help for us still here!
Good advice, my dear sister, and I'm so happy it's helping you! Thanks for your prayers, dear AngelMom, we can all use them, and you know our prayers are always with you too. Don't be a stranger around here, :-)
salaam my sister,
Much Love & Angel Hugs,

1/28/2004 14:00

Hello dear Sharon Lee, ah, so sorry to read that your MS is giving you problems, I have a friend who also has a form of it, and some days are better than others for her. I hope you're having some better days yourself now. That's wonderful to read about your brother-in-law, his wife and daughter, as well as he, must be so happy!! That's so sad about your sister-in-law, God love her. Good for Danielle, losing that amount of weight, I'm sure it will help with her condition!! You must have been so happy for her, it's not easy, especially for young people, to diet, so bravo to Danielle! Thank you too for your prayers for us, and you know you're in our's,
Love & Angel Hugs,

1/28/2004 14:09

Hi Sunny, what a terrible tragedy for Veronica! Doing exactly what she was advised to do, never dreaming it would end with the death of her son, God love her. She's probably feeling a lot of guilt right now, on top of her great pain over losing her son, but it was NOT her fault. Thank goodness she has a good friend in you, and I know you'll be a big comfort and support to her in the days, weeks, ahead. She has a standing invitation to join the Circle, and we'll also help to support, understand, love, and give her the 'ear' she needs right now, so fresh in her grief. Our prayers and heart are with her,
Love & Angel Hugs,

1/28/2004 14:17

Hi our dear Miss V, happy to read that hubby is doing better, and no surgery! It's amazing what they can do today by a procedure, rather than invasive surgery. And yes, walking is very good for him, exercise is key along with meds., for bringing blood pressure levels back to norm. Actually, it's just plain good, period!! You get on that treadmill too, :-) it'll do wonders for your diabetes! Great to see you posting again,
Much love & Angel Hugs,

1/28/2004 14:18

a poem for mom's that never got to hold there children. Bless you.

Your fingerprints are on my heart.
Even though i never held your hand,
you touched me.
Even though i never heard you speak,
you taught me.
you taught me about love.
you taught me about caring.
you taught me about courage.
you taught me about faith.
you taught me about happiness.
you taught me about sorrow.
you brought me closer to my loved ones.
you brought me closer to myself.
In the time i cared for you,
my how life changed.
never to be the same again.
Because of you
I know I will somehow be stronger.
Because of you
I know I will be more prepared for life.
All this from tiny fingerprints
that touched my heart.
Because of this
you will live forever in my soul.
never to be forgotten.
I will always love you.
You are my child.

I'm having very bad days, going back on med, i think, seeing dr sat, can't handle any more.Thinking of you all.

1/28/2004 14:25

Hi our dear Deb, hope your valley days aren't as strong, but if they are, you know we'll all here for you! I know, it's heartbreaking to read what some other AngelMoms are going through too.
Our dear sister Selva was hoping to be released either today or tomorrow, so here's hoping and praying! We all miss her SO much around here! Praying for sunnier days for you, our dear AngelMom Deb,
Much love & Angel Hugs,

1/28/2004 14:30

Hi dear Chris, guess we're on at the same time, :-), sorry you're having such a rough time right now, dear Angel Mom, and glad to hear you're going to get some help to deal with everything!
What a beautiful, touching Poem, I know it'll touch our sister Sou's heart, having gone through just that. Our love and prayers are with you dear one, and don't hesitate to post back if you need to talk it out,
Love & Tender Hugs,

1/28/2004 16:21

Hello to all AngelMoms and AngelDads!
I am here…Just lurking. I just haven’t had the strength to post. It’s tough going from Major PERFECTIONIST (type A to the MAX) to PROGRASTINATOR overnight! Nobody told me that GRIEF is the source of so many major flaws and defects in one’s character. I am certainly lacking in the following areas; FOCUS – or other words stick-to-it-ness – Sometimes I just can’t follow through with even the basics. ENERGY - I know that’s not character-but not sleeping at night and not wanting to get going in the AM does have an impact. DETERMINATION – or good old fashioned WILLPOWER.
When you have desire, you won’t quit.
When you don’t quit, you can’t be beaten.

I definitely feel as if I’ve been beaten. I’ve been down before…but never like this. I want to be myself again. It’s tough.

One of things that I am having a hard time handling is the new label of the “GRIEVING PARENT.” It’s as if we go from Parent to Grieving Parent. My younger sister lost her husband at 35 years of age; she told me that people often referred to her as the "WIDOW-LADY" even after 7 years. It seems as if everywhere we go someone either knows us or knows of us- I don’t like to wear my emotion on my sleeve- or have to try to comfort some well-meaning “friend” who just doesn't know how “your coping with it" and "if it were them they would be out of their mind and committed to an insane asylum!” Okay, I know they are just trying to comfort us- but give me a break! I would much rather be out of mind and not feel this pain, but what kind of message would we be sending to those that hold us responsible for shaping and molding their character? We all love our children with all our hearts and souls. It does make us crazy and insane to think of them dying! We have to deal with it. It is the most painful and difficult journey that anyone will have to face.

My son Sean-Michael competed at the Junior Olympics the week of July 30-August 3rd, 2003. It was a fantastic meet for Sean. He achieved personal best times and medaled in all of his events. The medals were great but it was the satisfaction knowing that he EARNED it. It was his DESIRE, his DETERMINATION and his DEDICATION to his GOAL. He got what he put into it.

At the meet Sean had asked me “HEY MOM, HOW DO YOU EAT AN ELHPANT?” I replied “ONE BITE AT A TIME!”

It was Sean's last swim meet. He was killed one week later on August 9th, when his SUV got stuck in a ditch and it rolled fatally crushing him.

How do you handle losing your child?

Just like eating an elephant...
one bite, one day, one minute at a time.
With much love to all,

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