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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.

1/11/2004 08:41

Hello mysticalartistinfp, on behalf of the Circle, we thank you so much for your prayers, we truly need them and are very grateful for them, we're always so touched when someone who hasn't lost a child comes here and posts prayers for us, may God bless you in whatever way He knows you need,
Love & Angel Hugs,

1/11/2004 08:44

Hello my dear sister, I hope and pray that you had a comfortable night and weren't in too much pain, please rest and listen to Nancy, :-) my love and prayers are with you, AngelMom Selva, love you my sister,
Lots of Tender Hugs too,

1/11/2004 11:48

Dear All, ~ Sandy, thank you for letting us know about Selva. Thank God for keeping her here for all of us where she is so needed. This is my first time trying to post or coming to read in a couple of days. Then, to click on and find such devastating news! I just thank God and Solange for protecting our dear sister and I thank God that she did not receive any broken bones.
~ Hi Nancy, & a warm welcome to our circle of love. I also would like to thank you for letting us know about our dear sister and God bless you and your brother also for all the love and support you give to our dear sister. As Sandy and the other angel moms have said, you may be sure that we will storm heaven with prayer for our dear sister. She means the world to us and we will be praying 24/7 for a her recovery. God bless the three of you and keep you all in His love and care!

1/11/2004 12:13

Dear Angel Mom, Sou, I have been keeping you in my prayers. I know these past few days have been very difficult for you. I thank God that you have the support of family and friends during this most difficult time. I also agree with Sandy that seeing a Therapist is a terrific idea. Shortly after I lost Diane, no one told me how important it was to seek help in any form. I didn't even realize how important it was to inform my doctor of what had taken place until a couple of months had passed. It was a most difficult time, to be sure. Remember to be very gentle with yourself and move at your on pace. And, always know that all of us here are praying that God will heal your broken heart and give you those precious moments of peace for which we all pray.
Love & Angel Hugs,

1/11/2004 12:47

Your son past away on the day of my birthday. I too have lost 2 of my own children so I understand your pain. I pray that God gives you the strenght to continue and the wisdom to see light in this event. I stronly beleive that we need to find something positive out of something so painful. When I lost my first I decided that I would not let it destroy me because my child was a blessing and I simply refused to turn her into anything else.

1/11/2004 16:29

Hello dear AngelMom c21Angie, Shane's Heaven date is the same as your birthdate, :-) what a terrific coincidence. I'm sorry that you too know the pain of losing not just one, but two children, God be with you, I can only imagine what that would be like. Since my own son's passing, I have had positive things come out of it, things I'm very grateful for, they don't stop the griefbursts I experience, I still miss my son physically being in my life, but yes, after a few years in my Journey, I was able to see the positive affects, thanks be to God. Yes, the biggest blessings in our lives are our children who we love so dearly, and I am SO grateful that my son, my Shane, God's Shane, was in my life, and look so forward, God willing, to seeing him again!
Love & Angel Hugs,

1/11/2004 16:33

Hi our dear Miss V, glad you got my e-mail, I KNEW you'd want to know about our sister, and it's great to see you posting again!
Much love & Angel Hugs,

1/11/2004 16:45

Hello my dear sister Sou, you've also been on my mind and in my heart, I know today is your day to visit your precious Sarah, and I too pray that you have some peace in your mind and heart, please post when you're up to it, I pray so much that these days off have benefitted you, you know by now dear AngelMom that you can always post how you're really feeling and be honoured here for your feelings,
Much love & Tender Hugs,

1/11/2004 16:50

Hi dear AngelMom Marci, I pray too that you're doing alright, but it's very understandable if you're not, your grief is so fresh right now, God love you, Post when you feel like it, in the meantime.....
Much love, Prayers, & Tender Hugs to you too,

1/11/2004 20:49

selvam, sending love and a BIG hug your way.You have many people here and there watching over you . Chris

1/11/2004 22:58

Thank you so very much for the site that's been put together here, how nice what a blessing. I am new to posting here but not to new at the loss of a child. My son has been gone now 20 years next month in FEB. His birthday is the 16th of this month Jan. which is this coming Friday he would of been 41 this year. Over the years that i have carryed this burden I have come to realize your life will never be the same. Its like you always view the trouble. God has been so comforting and i know i have become a better person out of this by being able to love troubled people and the unloved. God hasn't forgotten me or let my prayers gone unanswered, I know i'm not alone which countinues to keep me looking forward to a time when i will meet him again and be able to talk with him and get another chance. Iknow others have to feel as i do at times that we think of things we should of done better when they where here. I am so fortunate to know without a doubt that God had his hand on my son. He definitely had his hand on my son. He is waiting for me I'm happy to say. Gojd is truly with us and that's where we have to keep our hope. MY LOVE TRULY GOES OUT TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU ON HERE.

1/11/2004 23:12

SELMA read the post written by your sister my heart truly goes out to you i will be remembering you in my prayers and i do hope you will have a speedy recovery. Dear Jesus in all you loving care please take care of Selma and heal her body and keep here mind safe from emotional scaring please dear JESUS send your holy angels to minister the love of Jesus to her while shes healing. SUPPLY ALL OF HER NEEDS LORD SO SHE LACKS NOTHING. THANK YOU JESUS. AMEN

1/11/2004 23:28

Hi to all dear AngelMoms! Thank you for caring Sandy. I do have my days. I didn't sleep at all this past Friday night...God was trying to talk to me and it always seems as if it's the wee hours of the morning when he calls~.~ I guess that I have been avoiding him lately! I'm very non-confrontal! An hour after I had just drifted off to sleep I awoke to the sounds of our "elite swimmers" working out in our makeshift gym! Once awake, I'm awake for the rest of the day. I spent the morning crying because I was too tired to sleep!

Sandy, I received the book (I ordered it online) that you had recommended "When Bad things Happen to Good People." I and my trusted Highlighter read the entire book that Saturday. I found it most supportive and very comforting. It helps to reaffirm what you know in your heart already is true Ė That there truly is a God, that He is merciful, loving and kind and that he grieves with us. God is not the source of our pain, but He can help us get through it.

ĒGod is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.Ē Psalm 46:1 NIV.
All we have to do is ask him for the strength and courage to go on. It is our choice.

I pray that God will comfort us all and to lift our load and lighten the burden of our heavy hearts.
With much Love to all, Marci~.~

1/11/2004 23:44

Hello Dear Angel Mom's and Dad's

Sorry I have been away; my fibromyalgia was really bad all week and I was in bed 24/7. Today is my first good day and I was actually able to make blueberry muffins. I have still prayed for all of you each day while lying in bed. Extra prayers tonight for Angelo and Selva. Got an em from Angelo, trial has been pushed back to end of Jan or early Feb. His B/P is sky high and his Dr. is concerned about him so I know he needs your prayers as do we all.

I tried phoning Angelo several times today but could not get through. My prayers are with you all, esp. the family that just lost another child! My goodness, I cannot imagine the anguish of losing not one but two children and so close together and both car accidents! How much pain you parents have to bear. May God in His Infinite Mercy have Tender Mercy for all you bereaved parents!

If I don't post it's b/c I'm in bed. Thanks Sandy for your love and care.
Love to you all,
Angela xoxo

1/12/2004 09:23

Hello shininggold5292, a warm welcome to the Circle! I'm sorry that you've also experienced the ultimate loss for a Parent, your beloved son who will be 41 on this Friday - you have travelled many years and miles in your own Journey of Grief, but missing your child never really goes away, does it.
I agree, losing a child splits your life in two, the one you had with your child in it, and then the one afterwards without your child in it, the one we slowly rebuild with God's help, and continue on our own missions here. I'm glad to hear that you too have had positive changes come about, as I've said before, God is so good with grieving Moms and Dads, knowing that some are very understandably angry at Him, for 'taking' their most precious child from their lives. Oh yes, we all have pangs of guilt hit us, we remember when we yelled at them for something, or didn't pay enough attention at times, all the little things remember throughout their lives when we feel we 'failed' them, but we all did the best we could, out of our great love for our child, and the biggest guilt of all we feel is that we couldn't save or protect them from death, that's a very normal reaction, and part of the grieving process. I'm happy that you can look back and reflect now how God had His Hand on your son, and yes, God willing, one day we will see our child again, oh the reunion!
Love & Angel Hugs,

1/12/2004 09:26

Hi Chris, nice to see you posting, hope and pray that you and Mike are doing better now that the Holidays are over, and yes, our love and prayers are with our sister Selva, for a speedy recovery,
Love & Angel Hugs,

1/12/2004 09:56

Good morning AngelMoms,

Thanks everybody for your prayers for me. They arrived here and I am over the worst days since the funerals. I am doing a little bit better, I am back at work but of course I can't really concentrate, sometimes I am surprised to find myself sitting at the desk because my mind has drifted so far away!
The good news is that I saw the therapist yesterday, I thought I go asap before I change my mind again. She is a very nice lady, very spiritual and helpful, she lost 5 pregnancies also, she knows exaclty where I am.
She told me it was normal to feel this way, she broke down my feelings and told me that I was on the right track.
She made me realize that I have to put myself first now. I always put others first so it's hard to be selfish, but I decided to put my husband and me first so I won't feel guilty ignoring the others.
I am also reading 'chicken soup for the grieving soul' its a good book. One family has lost a son and brother and they took his clothes and sewed a big quilt, when they feel they need to hug him, they cuddle into the quilt, what a nice idea, I wish I had some clothes of Sarah, I would do it too! The sewing helped them through the grief and the quilt was a place to talk to their son.

I am sorry I can't give any support today I just read the posts but believe it or not I forgot already what you said! It's unbelievable how forgetful I became, one day I was thinking I have this disease multiple personalities because my mind is going nuts, I have a hundred voices inside and feel my brains moving and thinking, crazy huh??

Well, I wish you all the best, I pray for you.
God bless

1/12/2004 10:24

Hi dear AngelMom Marci, my sister of the heart, I DO care Marci, I know how very tough this is, especially in the beginning, and I just want you and everyone else to know there is support here at your Circle, I know some days it's very hard to put your grief into words, and be able to Post about it, but nevertheless I get a little worried when I haven't heard from you or our other dear AngelMoms and Dads in a bit, :-)
Oh, you ordered and read the book, that's wonderful that you found some comfort and things you were able to relate to in your own sad loss, it does help to remind us that God is not the source of our pain, that He is a most loving and merciful God, and does grieve along with us, ever present in our most desperate time of need! To those AngelMoms and Dads who may be experiencing anger towards Him, or your faith is shaken to the core, trust me, I'm not negating your feelings, you have a right to claim your feelings, and be honoured for them.
There's 2 other books I read Marci that I could relate strongly to, one is called "A Lament for a Son" written by a father who lost one of his son's, whose name escapes me at the moment, and the other was by C.S. Lewis, "A Grief Observed" that he wrote after his wife died, but so much of what he wrote I could strongly relate to also. The author Carol Staudacher, who also has a Column here at Beliefnet has also written some very good books on the loss of a child. Just for your info, and everyone else's. :-)
I'm so sorry you couldn't sleep on Friday night, but in the wee hours when our minds are still, it's very easy for God to come through to us then, the noise and distraction of the day aren't there, He can clearly get our attention then, :-) and He understands if you've been avoiding Him lately. Oh gosh, you too, I'm no doormat, I can speak to others when something is bothering me, if they've done or are doing something that upsets me, but I don't like confrontations either, something that stems from my childhood, :-) So the 'elitist swimmers' decided to work out at 3am, yikes! That's terrific that they're keeping in shape, and working out, but, ha, ha, could they not pick an earlier time, :-) It's important, where you are right now, to get your rest, the pain and grieving are physically demanding on us, little wonder you cried from being so tired! please take care of yourself, and I agree in Prayer with what you've posted, and it's what I pray for you too, dear one,
Much love & Angel Hugs,

1/12/2004 10:35

Hi dear Ang, nice to see you posting again too, so sorry to hear that your Fibromyalgia is acting up, make sure and get plenty of rest, and it's so comforting to know that you're praying for all, I pray too that your health returns and you're once again back on your feet. I know we'll all keep AngelDad Angelo in our prayers and thoughts, with the trial coming up he has to be feeling very stressed, God love him. Our love, thoughts and prayers are with you too Angela, keep shining that 'star', :-)
Love & Angel Hugs,

1/12/2004 11:30

Hello to all, just found this site and decided to log in. My name is Pam, and my 17 year old daughter Heather passed in an auto accident, it will be 3 years on January 28, so all the emotions of the anniversary day are gearing up. To all those suffering, your faith is what will see you through. I have met many parents in support groups, and the one's without faith and the support God can give are truly bound by their grief. My prayer for all of you is for your faith to strengthen and give you comfort, just trust that this will happen. Peace and acceptance will begin to happen. Bring your pain to the Lord. I have a memorial website for my daughter for anyone that would like to visit it. It's
In Christ's love, Pam

1/12/2004 15:15

Pam (regalmap) I read your post and visited your daughter's memorial website. I read the entire story and thought, "wow - this sounds familiar" My 19 year old daughter passed away in Nov. 2003 from a mysterious illness (she got sick in the night on a Thursday and died in the emergency room the following Monday). I'm glad you shared the details of identifying your daughter's body. It's an incredible moment the first time we see our babies after they've passed. I don't mean to sound disrespectful or morbid - please don't take it that way. It was such a big event for me as they weren't allowed to release my daughter's body for 2 weeks after she passed and when I got the call from the funeral home that she had arrived I lost control. I was so afraid to see her. I had asked the coroner over and over what condition her body would be in and if she would be "viewable" (not sure what I was expecting). Of course she had changed a lot but I still thought she was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. I too stood by her body soaking it all in knowing this would be the last time I got to see her "in person." Your funeral experience sounded very much like mine too. Way more people than I could have imagined. It did my heart good to know so many people were touched by knowing her. So I wanted to say thank you for posting a link to your daughter's memorial site and for writing the details of her death and your feelings. I sometimes wonder if God leads us to those things as I was having a difficult time today just before I logged on here and read your post. Just when things seem to be getting a little easier, I feel guilty for not hurting. I worry that I won't remember all the little details of her and our life together. It seems silly as I remember vividly the day she was born.

to everyone and shaner as she worries about me :) I'm hangin' in there. I'm attending a support group and grief resolution classes (which don't seem to be helping much, but..) We're planning to get together with family and friends this weekend for my daughter's birthday (which is the 20th). I still have the mindset that I wish I could wake up from this nightmare.


1/12/2004 15:45

Hello my dear sister Sou, it's wonderful to hear that all Prayers said for you have helped, to bring you out of those worst days since little Sarah's funeral. I know you're still having a difficult time, but at least it's not as bad as it has been for you lately, dear one. Oh, Sou, it has to be very hard trying to work right now, God bless you, your mind is a thousand miles away, and little wonder that you're having problems concentrating! Oh, dear AngelMom, that's the best news and answer to Prayer that God sent you to the right Counsellor for you, bravo for going, my sister, that's very courageous of you! She can relate so well to what you're experiencing and going through, having herself lost 5 Pregnancies, and best of all, you like her and feel comfortable sharing your feelings with her, I'm so very, very happy for you!! She's validated for you that what you're feeling is very normal, all part of the process, and I bet it was a big help for you when she broke it down for you, instead of feeling overwhelmed by your feelings, you can follow her advice and take it as it comes, she does sound like a very good Therapist! I agree with her Sou, it's not selfish at all to put you and your husband first right now, just as I say to you to be kind and gentle with yourself, you need to put yourself first, take care of you, it's too stressful right now to experience being 'pulled' in all different directions, so please listen to her and put you and your dear husband first!
Gee, I've never heard of that book, thanks for sharing it here, sounds as though it would be a very good one for all to read. Gosh yes, what a terrific idea to do, that quilt must bring the family a LOT of comfort! A dear friend of mine did something similar with her little boy's clothing, she made a beautiful wreath out of it, and it hangs on their door. If I knew how to sew, which I don't, :-) (no talent there), it would be something nice to do with Shane's clothing. Even if little Sarah didn't get the chance to wear any clothing, if you had purchased some or were given some as gifts, maybe you could make one too?
Don't worry about giving support to others right now, you need the support yourself, and when you're feeling a little better, then you can offer support to others my dear sister. I wouldn't worry about your memory too much, you have all these emotions, feelings swirling around inside of you, and no dear AngelMom Sou, you're not going crazy, :-) and I know you don't have multiple personality disorder, :-) it's just all the intense pain, grief and emotions you're feeling right now and that's OK! Very happy and grateful that you found the right Therapist, I pray for peace to finally come to your heart, and the sun to start peeking through the dark clouds again. Please still post and let us know how you're doing, you know by now we care,
salaam my sister,
Much love & Tender Hugs to you,

1/12/2004 16:05

Dear Sandy,
You are truly God sent. You seem to be always there when you are needed most. I always thank God to have you, you are the first to give me the feeling that I am sane and not loosing it. Thanks again, I will forever appreciate you and your words.

I never bought anything for Sarah and I didnít plan to have a baby shower since I am too superstitious, I was thinking if I had some things here and she wouldnít make it for some reason I would blame myself. I am glad I didnít buy anything because that would have been the final proof for me that it was my fault she had to go. So I just have her little gown, hat and her little diaper with me. The diaper is the size of my hand palm, she was so tiny when she was born, only 12 inches (30 cm)! Oh God, I miss her.

Our dear Selva, I hope you are doing a bit better. I donít know whatís going on through your mind. I hope you are not disappointed that you didnít make it to meet Solange! There is days where I wish I would get into a car crash or so just to be with my daughter, so I really hope you donít think that far. God willing you will be fine soon again. Until you are ready to write yourself, know that you are missed here and we pray for you all the time.

God bless you all

1/12/2004 16:06

Hi dear Pam, and a very warm welcom to the Circle! I'm very happy you found this site, but sorry for the reason why.
I'm so sorry to read about your beautiful young daughter, Heather. These 'special days' such as Heather's 3rd Year Anniversary coming up, are so hard, aren't they, and we can feel the building up ahead of time, once again dealing with another very painful day, God bless you. We'll definitely remember her date here, dear Pam, and support, console and pray with you on that day, and every other day also! Yes, I've seen other Moms too get 'stuck' in their grief, it's heartbreaking, they just aren't able to move forward at all, very sad. Some did have a belief system to fall back on, and some didn't. They were just terribly afraid to 'let go' and couldn't get past that. Some eventually went for Counselling, thank God, I'm not talking about newly bereaved Moms, these Moms were into their 3rd, 4th, 5th Year, and needed the help of a Therapist to help them move forward. Thank you dear one for your beautiful Prayer for all, and I wish the same for you. Please post back whenever you feel like it, you'll only find compassion, understanding, support, love and prayers here, never any judging. I'll definitely have a look at your daughter's website, God's peace to you,
Love & Angel Hugs,

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