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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

1/8/2004 21:50

Hi my dear sister, Sou, I'm glad you did post today, I was worried about you, your Post yesterday was such a painful one. May God bless your husband, coming right away and picking you up, you needed to get away from work and get home, and I'm SO happy that you've decided to take some time off work, right now it has to be so difficult trying to work when your mind and heart are with your dear Sarah, you definitely need the much needed break right now, and it's wonderful that they are so understanding. I think that seeing a Therapist is a terrific idea, AngelMom Sou, many other Moms here have done so too, you're very courageous to reach out for help, this is a VERY rough thing to deal with, and seeing a good Therapist will only benefit you, help you to deal with your intense feelings and emotions right now, I pray that God send's you the right one, the one who can help you the most. Oh my dear sister, you don't have to thank me, this is your Circle, and by now you know it's a very safe place to let your feelings out, vent, scream, cry, be angry, you can ALWAYS say how you really feel, and ALWAYS be supported and understood for your feelings, I'm just very happy you found this Circle and started posting! And you know my heart, love and prayers are always with you too, I want you to once again see some sun peeking out from the clouds, for as long as it takes to get there, dear Angel Mom Sou, God willing, I pray for that to happen to you very soon. Please get some much needed rest, and please post back when you can,
salaam my dear sister,
Much love, prayers & lots of Tender Hugs,

1/8/2004 22:02

Hi dear AngelMom Sharon, I've been wondering how you have been doing lately, I'm so happy that you find some comfort for your heart too, at your Circle, yeppers, I agree, our Angel children are doing what they can to help us, thank you for your prayers for all, they are much needed and appreciated! Wow, small world, you and Yvonne coming from the same town, I'm very happy that our dear Yvonne told you about the Circle, and I know you're still dealing with a lot of pain and grief, may God in His goodness and love bless you dear Angel Mom, and give you some much needed peace right now,
Love, Prayers & Angel Hugs,

1/8/2004 22:20

Hello my dear sister, I can tell that you're having one of your very bad valley days, God love you, right now I know you want the same thing that our deat Marci's son wants, to have his brother back with him, all you really want is to have your beloved Solange back with you too right now. You just rest tonight, tomorrow is Friday, and then you have the weekend off, my prayers are with you,
Much love & Angel Hugs,

1/9/2004 01:10

Dear Selva,It's alright to feel like that,we all have our days.I know to this day I still think maybe Christie is hiding somewhere to be safe and that they made something up to look like her,with all the cover up they did when she was murdered.Sometimes I get these crazy thoughts or maybe it's just wishful thinking. I don't know if any of you have ever done this,but I saw a young women who looked just like my Christie going into Wal-Mart,I parked my car jumped out and ran till I got closer and walked around her to see if it was Christie.I'm glad no one knew what I was doing or they probably put me in a rubber room. It so hard you're always hoping against hope that it isn't true.
Also I just found out a teacher from school who was pregnant her baby was stillborn.It broke my heart for her,so please remember her in your prayers,shes such a sweet & dear person,and great with the kids.
God Bless You & Angel Hugs

1/9/2004 09:26

Hi Angel sisters. I'm still feeling down, but less desperate than yesterday. i had a dream about Solange whe she was little, she was such a beautiful little girl, then a beautiful young lady, at least I hugged Solange in my dreams, and again took care of her, it was a weird dream where trees were falling, and raining a lot, but I took care of Solange at all times, and she was at Peace. Well I thank God that I am still going through therapy, otherwise I will be in the nut house by now. Thank you my sisters for your prayers and love, I really do welcome prayers, and God knows this, I just get a little angry sometimes. Love you. Selva

1/9/2004 14:39

it is so nice to see all you sharing your feelings i am coming closer and closer to bieng able to somewhat deal with things i know how you feel when you talk of the anger your child bieng murdered my child was also i just cannot get past the idea of him begging for my help and i was no where near to do this it puts me backwards every time this idea alone is very critical on my mind and thoughts i feel helpless and a failure at moments knowing that was my job to protect him i look for him every day thinking i will just some day find him right there in front of me and it was ust some big lie i sometimes lay awake and think and think what i could of done or what i did not do my 17 year old daughter is so strong considering her own pain she helps me alot not to blame myself HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH A CHILD BIENG MURDERED? HOW DO YOU GO ON AND GET PAST THE AWFUL CREEPY FEELINGS OF WHAT A HUMAN MONSTER IS CAPIBLE OF?

1/9/2004 14:41


1/9/2004 15:08

Hi Angel Moms,
Selva, you dreamed of Solange? Finally? That is great! I still have not had a least one that I remember. I know exactly how you feel wanting her back. That is why I don't post very often. I feel like I am going backwards in my grief....I get just absolutely beside myself wanting Aaron back. I was talking to him last night and was telling him that I just want to see him, touch him, argue with him. Anything!!! I just want to see and touch his smiling face.

1/9/2004 15:09

I too have had to get some therapy to help deal with my loss. Selva has and I am sure there are a lot of other angel moms and dads that have. I am glad you have decided to get some help. God Bless you.

1/9/2004 15:11

Hi dear Sharon, you too - seeing your Christie in a crowd, or walking down the street, I can't tell you how many times that's happened to myself and my husband, especially in the early years.
For instance, my husband was downtown and phoning home from a phone booth. In the middle of our conversation, I heard him say "it's Shane' and then the sound of the phone being dropped. He had spotted someone walking down the street who he was certain was Shane, and went after the young man, only to have his heart drop when he realized it wasn't him. I was driving one day and 'saw' Shane entering a store. I quickly parked the car and went into the store, only to find out that the young man looked so much like Shane from the back, but of course it wasn't him, and I broke down crying in the store, and quickly left. It's the most awful feeling, your heart leaps for a moment, only to be brought back to a harsh reality when you realize it's not them. Now when I see young men who look like Shane, I get moments of pain, and know now that it's not him. Perhaps you posted this already, if so forgive me for my bad memory, :-) were you ever able to get to the bottom of the police cover-up over Christie's death?
Love & Angel Hugs,

1/9/2004 15:14

I think we all have those thoughts of wondering if our child was calling for us etc. I think it is just a natural instinct for us moms. I know I sure have. It has taken me a long time to get over wondering if my son Aaron was yelling for me when he crashed his car. And what was going through his head at that last minute, etc. It has been 15 months since he died and I still think about those things often. Not 24/7 like in the beginning but pretty often. Just let your pain and thoughts out here when you feel like it. We would never judge you and most of us have had the same thoughts.

1/9/2004 15:18

I see we are posting at the same time. How are you? I am hanging in there....I had my therapy session yesterday. She told me that she hasn't seen me this shut down since I first started going to her. I am just in a quiet mode. I really don't want to do anything or see anybody. You know what I mean? I am okay but just quiet. I read the posts almost daily but sometimes don't know what to say and choose to just stay quiet. My heart and love goes to all of you.

1/9/2004 15:24

Hi our dear sister Selva, I'm happy that today isn't as painful for you as yesterday was, God love you, you don't have to apologize for being angry, as Sharon said to you, we all have days like that! I'm glad too that you had another dream of Solange, I can just imagine how happy you were holding her again, :-) I don't pay attention to you when you're having a very bad day and say you don't want prayers, I pray for you anyway!
Much love & Tender Hugs,

1/9/2004 15:56

Hi dear Lisa, yes, we're posting at the same time, :-) It's SO good to see you here again dear one, I'm doing well, but had a very bad day a couple of days ago. My youngest sister doesn't have any baby pics of herself, and I told her I had some that I'd send to her, we must have about 14 Photo Albums and I haven't looked at them since Shane passed away, I thought I could handle going through them for her sake, made it through 3, and it just became too painful to look at the pictures and I had to stop. My dear sis understands though, she's always been very supportive of me. Oh, dear Lisa, I was going to put out the 'call' to you, wondering how you're doing, please don't stop posting, you're still in deep grief and pain, and sometimes our Journey's are just like that - we go a little forward and then slip back, you're still newly bereaved, it's only been 15 months - I was still in the black hole and in a lot of pain at 15 months, so I understand how you're feeling. Sometimes it's so hard to put our emotions into words, the words just can't describe how we're really feeling.
I'm so sorry Lisa that you're having such a hard time right now, but you know by now you can Post anything here, even if it's just I'm in pain! You don't sound OK dear Angel Mom, and yes, I do understand your need to be alone right now, it has to be very hard working when you're feeling this way. It's wonderful that you're still going to see your therapist, good for you, she must be a very good one to see and acknowledge that you're in such a quiet mode right now, and not even up to sharing with her. My love and prayers are with you dear one, especially for her to have your dream,
Lots of love & Tender Hugs,

1/9/2004 15:59

p.s. I MEANT to say 'you' dear Lisa, not she, :-)
Love Sandy

1/9/2004 16:25

Hi dear AngelMom, (prettybirdluvsu), I'm glad to see you sharing your feelings too, at your Circle. We all go through the guilt phase, we are Mothers and are used to protecting our children, and when they pass on, we feel powerless that we couldn't 'save' or 'protect' them. Those of us who weren't there with our child when they passed, always wonder what their last thoughts were, were they afraid, were they calling for us, I like to believe that their own Angels were there for them, that they were never alone, but I do understand that in your case, just like AngelMom Sharon's, when your child is murdered, these feelings are no doubt more intense. You didn't fail Benji, the person who took his life failed him, not YOU. Of course you're very angry, any mother would be, don't be too hard on yourself right now, in your own time you'll be able to deal with the anger better and have peace in your soul. You and Sharon share the same tragic way of losing a child, perhaps she can offer better advice than I can when it comes to dealing with all the emotions involved when your child's life is taken by another. Sending you lots of love, prayers, and Angel Hugs, dear mother of Benji,
Love Sandy

1/9/2004 22:44

Dear Sandy,We've never got to the bottom of Christie's murder,we have ideas.I was told to leave it alone,that they would get more time for drugs than killing her by the Commomwealth Attorney.She was trying to help a guy that was on drugs,we found out that he would help the police bust other people,to help his self get alesser time.Christie had no idea of this,she was just trying to help get him straight.Christie had just got her nursing degree and when starting the hospital the next day. Yes I felt really guilty when this happenned,because a mother is suppose to protect her child and I wasn't there,to think of what she went through all by herself,hurts so bad! I wanted to know what I did for God to punish me this way.I'm sorry this is getting me upset.
On a lighter note,I found out this evening my brother-in-law has no brain damage,so please keep praying I know God is hearing them and answering.

God Bless You
Angel Hugs & Kisses

1/10/2004 14:43

Hello dear Sharon, it sound's as though your dear Christie got swept up in something that she just wasn't aware of, trying to help a friend. I am so sorry. It's still painful for you to talk about, dear AngelMom, so you don't ever have to apologize! One day, when YOU'RE ready, however long that takes, it won't be quite as painful to tell - I understand! AngelMom prettybirdluvsu is having a very difficult time with her dear son Benji's murder, so perhaps you have some words for her.
Oh, that's wonderful, dear Sharon, about your brother-in-law, his family and you must be breathing a big sigh of relief! There's definitely power in prayer, isn't there. :-) Yes, of course I'll still keep him on my Prayer list,
Much love & Tender Hugs,

1/10/2004 14:44

Someone sent me this, I really liked it and thought I would share it.

We don't always have
to be strong to be strong.
Sometimes our strength is
expressed in being vulnerable.
Sometimes we need to fall apart
to regroup and stay on track.
We all have days when
we cannot push any harder,
cannot hold back self-doubt,
cannot stop focusing on fear,
cannot be strong.
There are days when we cannot
focus on being responsible.
Occasionally, we don't want
to get out of our pajamas.
Sometimes we cry in front of people.
We expose our tiredness,
irritability, or anger.
Those days are okay.
They are just okay.
Part of taking care of ourselves
means we give ourselves permission
to "fall apart" when we need to.
We do not need to be
perpetual towers of strength.
We ARE strong.
We have proven that.
Our strength will continue
if we allow ourselves the courage
to feel scared, weak, and vulnerable
when we need to experience those feelings.
Today, help me to know that is
it okay to allow myself to be human.
Help me not to feel guilty or punish
myself when I need to "fall apart."


1/10/2004 17:41

Hi Sandy This is Nancy, Selva's sister.
Selva was involved in a serious accident
yesterday. Thank God she is badly hurt
but no bones broke or any internal bleeding, she was very lucky, the police
the doctors, everybody told her that she
did not got killed because she has a Volvo and that is a very strong car.She
was turning left with the yellow and this woman ran the red light and got her
full blast. The ambulance took her to
Jackson Trauma Center, the same place where they took Solange. So her pain was
double I am not sure what was going thru
her mind. She stayed overnight and today
we brought her home. The hospital wanted
her to stay because she can not walk but
she insisted to be home, she couldn't stay there one more minute.She can't cometo the computer, which is in the office, therefore I am writing on her
behalf and mine. She and I want this wonderful circle of love to pray for her
recuperation. You can post to us and
I will read the message for her. I being
meaning to write for a long time maybe
God send me this opportunity to thank each and everyone of you to help and console Selva so many times. She has
found in her friends something to hang on to Thanks again and may God bless each and everyone of the Circle.
Love Nancy

1/10/2004 18:04

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You Lord for the many gifts and blessings that you give to us. We thank You Lord that our dear sweet Selva is safe and in Your care. Please lift her up and sanctify her. Let her feel your awesome love and presence in her life. Lord we ask that you might remove all her pain and discomfort and heal her physical injuries and the injuries to her grieving heart and soul. Amen

Dear Selva, Please get well. WE NEED YOU!
With much love to all,

Dear Nancy, On behalf of all of us Angelmoms and Angeldads... Thank you for being such a wonderful sister!

1/10/2004 18:42

Dear Nancy please let Selva know that I am very sorry for the accident and what she has to go through, especially after being in the hospital where Solange was. Tell her that she is in our prayers and we pray that she will get back to her health soon enough. She will be missed here but until she has the strength to return we pray for her every minute.


1/10/2004 21:59

Oh my gosh, Nancy, thank you SO much for telling us about our dear sister Selva! I'm so happy and grateful that she is alright, I was wondering why she hadn't posted today, but now I know why!
Her Angel Solange was watching over her, and thanks be to God for nothing being broken. Oh dear Nancy, you must have been so worried, and your brother, Selva loves you both very much and talks about how good you both are to her all the time. Thank goodness she was driving a Volvo, they are a good, strong car and that probably did help to save her life, God bless her. I understand why she wouldn't want to stay at the hospital, bringing up so many painful memories of Solange there, but Nancy, you know how stubborn our dear Selva is, so please make her stay in bed and rest, we all want her to get better and WILL miss her so much while she's recuperating, but right now her health is more important! I am just SO happy that she is alright, everyone is, and trust me Nancy we will storm Heaven with Prayers for our dear sister for complete healing! It's so nice to meet you Nancy, I wish it had been under happier circumstances, and God bless you for all you do for your dear sister too, you have been a big support to her with your love since Solange passed. We'll post a message everyday for our dear Selva, tell her I send her lots of love and tender Hugs, and you too dear Nancy, Selva is always in my heart,
Much love, gratitude, prayers & Angel Hugs,

1/11/2004 02:08

Dear God, please bring comfort to all parents who have had the heart breaking experience of losing a child.

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