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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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1/4/2004 09:32

Hi my dear sisters. Sorry I have not been able to post, but I had problems with AOL, had to uninstall, reinstall and it is still not working properly. We have to download a tax program UUncle Sam is knocking at the door) but I keep getting dischonected in the middle of it. It is so frustrating. I dedided to order the Cd just in case. Hi my sister Verna, sorry to hear you are going through so much, remember we will storm Heaven for you my dear sister, and pleazeeeeeeeeeee, take care of yourself,promise?. Love you my dear sister.Hi my dear sister Sandy, thank you so much for your support, besides having computer problems I am going through rough valley days, I guess these Holidays have taken all my energy, I have not been able to meditate, and today my niece and nephew are coming over to visit, they were nice enough to stay away for the Holidays, but we invited them for dinner, the poor things were dying to come over and visit us, I feel bad sometimes keeping people away from me, but i needed my privacy, and don't like to make people unhappy. I am missing my daughter so very much, I can't wait to see her again, I will give anything just to hear her saying Hi MOM I'm OK, Love ya, but I guess I have to keep on waiting until God decides.I love you all my dear sisters, will try to post again tonight. Sandy my sister is cooking a pot roast cuban style, she is the one who knows how to cook this better than me, so I will get you the recipe. Love Selva

1/4/2004 14:20

Dear Angel Sisters & Brothers,I need all the prayers I can get,I just got a phone call,my brother-in-law was rushed to the hospital during the night,they think he may have had a stroke,he can't moves his legs,one arm,and just stares,doesn't speak,he is in his early 40's.He was such a rock for me & my husband when our daughter Christie was murdered,she loved him dearly as do we.Please keep him in your prayers.
May God Bless All of You

1/4/2004 15:21

Hi my dear sister, so good to see you posting! Oh no, more problems with AOL, not very good, especially with you and Nancy both needing it for the upcoming taxation season, I hope the Program easily downloads for you so you can use it and make it easier for you both. Ah, mi sister, you know you always have my support, I know these Holidays have been so hard on you, with them now over, God love you, you'll be able hopefully to have some peace in your heart, I know you're going through some very hard days, missing your Solange oh so much, yes, it would be wonderful for you and everyone to hear those words again. You know you will, one day, when your Mission is over, my dear sister. Ah, that's so nice that your niece and nephew are coming over today and having dinner with you, they miss their Tia Selva, but don't feel badly about wanting your own time over the Holidays, you had enough to deal with your own pain, you wanted and NEEDED the time alone, and you wanted your privacy as you say, so you did what made you feel the most comfortable and today you can enjoy their company a little more than during the Holidays. Oh good, another recipe to look forward to, :-) yum, I know I'll love it, I really enjoy trying new dishes and you know your other recipe was a big hit here! Please try and slow down, get your energy back, take care of yourself my sister, and you know my love and prayers are with you during these difficult valley days for you,
Lots of love & Tender Hugs,

1/4/2004 15:36

Hello my sister AngelMom Sharon, oh no, your dear brother-in-law, I'm very sorry to hear that, he's so young to suffer from a stroke, God love him, his wife, you and your family must be so worried and stressed about him, this is terrible, dear Sharon, I know your precious Christie is doing everything she can for her much-loved Uncle, and we will storm Heaven for prayers for him, for a complete healing, and for the physical and spiritual strength you all need right now to deal with this, please let us know how he's doing,
Much love, Prayers & Angel Hugs,

1/4/2004 18:15

Hi Sharon. so sorry to hear about your brother in law, but have faith my sister, nowadays, strokes can be handle. With teraphy ,they can do wonders, I remember when I had a boating accident I broked a vertabrae, and this lady was in the same teraphy section where I was, she had a stroke, could not walk, talk maybe, and was in bad shape, well she recuperated faster than I did, after I left teraphy, she was walking with only a cane, and talking and I remember we had teraphy on cooking also (this was to be on our own once again) and she complained because I cut the peppers before I whased it, so she was on her way. But we will be storming Heaven with prayers dear Sharon, just keep pressing On. Love Selva

1/4/2004 18:22

Hi my sister Sandy. Still having problems with the tax program, and this is so important to us, but I guess we will wait for the CD, yes my neice and nephew and my brother came over, my sister cooked, it was nice, I miss them but I was not ready during the Holidays, and they are young and I did not wanted to spoil the Holidays, so it was OK, my great nephew will be 12 on Jan 16, I can not believe it, they came from Cuba only 3 years ago, he did not speak english, and I was so worry about him going to school, but he managed well, now he speaks english fluently, and its doing great at school, he is playing baseball (keeping him busy and off drugs) he brought his trophy for me to see it, etc. we had a good family time. Now I will try to meditate, I have an appt with my psycho on tuesday, I can't wait to tell her I was able to meditate. That really feels so good, it makes me so relaxed. I love you all my dear sisters. Selva

1/4/2004 23:44

Hi my dear sister Selva, still having problems? I guess it's better to wait as you say for the CD then, download the program you need and be able to do the work from the CD. Taxes! So happy to hear you had a good visit with your nephew and niece, you could enjoy their company more now than during the Holidays. Imagine, only been in the U.S. for 3 years, attending school and fluently speaking English! Some people say that English is a very hard language to learn, our Chris's girlfriend is from China, and has been here for 4 yrs., but still sometimes has a little trouble expressing what she wants to say, :-), but the younger you are to learn a new language, the more you can easily pick it up. That's terrific he's involved with sports and doing so well, I bet he was so happy to show off his trophy to you! Families are so important, I miss my sisters and brother, but living in another city we can't see each other as often as we would like, but we have good long distance plans, :-) Hope your Mediation goes well and relaxes you once again, and happy to hear that you're going to see your psychotherapist on Tuesday, yes, she will be proud of you, and will also be able to help you with your very difficult valley days you're experiencing right now, love you too my sister, and all my sisters and brothers here at this Circle of Love,
Lots of Angel Hugs,

1/5/2004 07:36

Dear Sharon, ~ I am so sorry to read about your dear brother-in-law. I pray that God will bring him through this and restore him to full health. This has to be so very difficult for all of you. God has a way of comforting us during the storms we face in life. Just knowing we can lean on Him during times when we feel so helpless is such a blessing. Having face many storms throughout my lifetime, I can tell you that God will be with you and your entire family through it all. He will give all of you the strength and courage you so desperately need right now. Rest assured, your dear brother-in-law knows how much he is loved. Just having his family around him now, will have a calming affect on him. Please keep us informed on how he is doing.
Love & Angel Hugs, ~ Verna

1/5/2004 08:23

Dear Sandy, Selva, & Cindy ~ Thanks for being patient with me. :) I appreciate all of the fwd pages that you have been sending to me. They really lift my spirits and bring a smile to my face. I hope AOL is allowing the ones I send to get through to you all. Recently, Selva, I had several returned that I sent to you. But, it was my fault, because I keep getting the numbers turned around when I type in your email address from memory! :) So, from now on, I am using copy/paste from my address book. :) The spam in my box sometimes keeps the undelivered notices from coming back to me for several days. So, I have cleared out all the spam, and will start over sending you pages again with the right email address. I am so happy to know that you are into meditation. I have heard that it really helps you to relax. I have been thinking about reading up on it to see what all it involves. Right now, though, keeping up with all the meds and following doctor's orders is about all I can handle! And, beginning day after tomorrow, I'll have the grands again in the afternoon now that school is about to begin. :) So, if I do decide to try it, it will definitely have to be after their moms have come to rescue me! :) I am happy to say that you sound like the meditation is really helping. I know it is still very difficult for you, but anything that helps you make it through another day is well worth it. Love you, my sister, and always know that you and your beautiful Solange are always in my prayers!

Sandy, ~ I really enjoyed lighting the candles on that fwd page and also your kind words made me smile! Thank you for always being there for us angel moms!

Cindy, ~ Thanks for the photos of the puppies! I have made copies and will put my puppies in a frame and place it right beside my computer! And thanks also for sending Krissy's website. Your Krissy is so beautiful & it is such a beautiful site, and I am still exploring all of the wonderful pages!

I hope you like the poem I wrote for my puppies! :) Thanks also, Cin, for the BHG recipes for diabetics. So far, I have lost 10 lbs. over a two months! Diet & exercise always helps with controlling the blood sugar am told! Now, if I can just stay away from the homemade chocolate cookie cake! :)
Love & Hugs,
Yo Miss V.

1/5/2004 19:22

Hi my dear Angel sisters and brothers. Wow Thank God the Holidays are over, it really took all my good energy, I am so deep in the valley, it was worse than the first Xmas, yes I know I was in shock during the first, but this second one was really hard to take. I am praying that God will help me and give me back some energy, when I got up today it was so hard, I had to really make an effort to get out of bed, I just wanted to stay there all day (of course I couldn't I sleep in the living room nowadays) Ay my sisters and brothers, I really need a little prayer now and then, I know God listens to you. I also wanted to recommend a good book, my pshycho gave it to me just before Xmas, of course she made a point that it was not a Xmas present (ha ha) it is called POCKETFUL OF MIRACLES, by JOAN BORYSENKO, PHD, the ISBN 0-446-39536-6, I do really recomend this to all of you. Verna please take care of yourself and please go to therapy, you will be surprise, it can do wonders to you. Love you all. Selva

1/5/2004 21:19

Hello our dear Miss V, great to see a Post from you again, hope you're feeling much better and the flu is all gone, thanks for your fwd. pages, love them all too! The Candle lighting page was a unique one, wasn't it, happy you liked it, something different to try. Take care Miss V, and yes, try meditating too, as a mater of fact, I believe they have an article about it right here at Beliefnet,
Much love & Angel Hugs,

1/5/2004 21:40

Hi our dear sister Selva, the Holidays do drain you, don't they, and yes, on top of them you're in deep valley days, God love you. This Christmas may have been harder on you because the reality phase has set in, your shock and disbelief have worn off, and it certainly does make it harder to deal with. Please get your rest, and continue to meditate if it's helping you so much, you're seeing your psychotherapist tomorrow, and I hope she'll be able to help you too during this rough time for you. I've heard of that book, if you say it's a very good read, I'll have to buy it :-) that was nice of her to give it to you as a Gift, you know you and everyone else are always in my Prayers, I'll say some extra one's for you, and I know the other AngelMoms and Dads will answer your call for Prayers too, may God give you some much needed peace and please try to get more rest,
Lots of love & Angel Hugs,

1/5/2004 22:55

Dear Angel Moms,I wanted to let you know that it was a stroke,also the oxygen level is still in his brain.Alittle improvement has been made,he now recongonizes his wife and daughter,they also took the restraints off,its alittle step,but at least its in the right direction. My sister-in-law said to thank everyone for all their prayers. I'll keep you all posted.

God Bless All of You

1/5/2004 22:57

Sorry,I meant to say the oxygen level is still low in his brain.

1/5/2004 23:43

Hello dear Sharon, so happy to hear from you and thanks so much for updating us all on your dear brother-in-law! It was definitely a stroke then, God love him, so young to have one. Oh, that's wonderful, Sharon, that he now recognizes his wife and daughter, and is no longer restrained, he's making some progress, and that's very hopeful, I pray his oxygen level increases in his brain, and we'll definitely continue our prayers for him, that more and more progress is made each day, our prayers are also with his family and you, this has to be so such a trying time for all, but definitely looking much better than when he was first admitted, thank You Lord for listening to all prayers said for Sharon's brother-in-law, and please AngelMom Sharon, keep us updated,
Love, Prayers, & Tender Hugs,

1/6/2004 00:09

Hello dear Marci, Teri, Sue, Susie, MsBabs, PeleMa, MyPearlie, Sou, Chris,
I haven't heard from you in a while, (and AngelDad Angelo), when I don't hear, I worry, :-) always in my heart and prayers, I know that these are very difficult days for all of you, this is your Circle, so please, when you feel up to it, post and let me know how you're all doing, each of us has something to learn from your Sharing's, myself included, no pressure though, sometimes we need some 'alone' space, miss you all though, so please post when you feel up to it,
Always in my heart and Prayers,
Love & Angel Hugs,

1/6/2004 00:13

Hi dear Yvonne, I pray your husband's health has improved, please let us know how you and he are doing,
Love & Angel Hugs,

1/6/2004 08:10

Good morning Angelmoms and dads,

I hope you got well into the New Year, it must have been tough for you all, especially for you sister Selva, I know how much Solange liked to dance and just have fun with her friends. I pray that you all are going to find more peace this year and I pray that we won't have any newcomers here. I pray that no parent would have have to bury their child again.

To all the new ones, I am truly sorry for your losses, I am glad you found this circle, I hope it will help you through the pain a bit.

As for me, yesterday was a especially tough day, Sarah was due yesterday. I went a little bit nuts, I took a pillow and held it in my arms like a baby and tried to imagine her being there. I didn't even realize what I was doing, my mind was all gone. Then I forced myself to imagine her in heaven with Abraham and his wife Sarah and I knew they are taking care of her until I can, so I calmed a bit down. But it was a rough day. My pregnancy is officially over today, but I don't have a baby at home. Anyways, I will try to take this as a new beginning and look into the future. I don't know if I am able to do it, but I will try.

I wish you all the best for today,
God bless

1/6/2004 08:49

shaner - thanks for missing me :) I feel like my posts are so depressing and all I do is whine. Life is so hard for me - it's like it's been turned on it's ear and I don't know how to cope. I dread each new day. I wish I could wake up and say "good morning sunshine" but it just isn't there. If I have a good day or 2 it will come crashing down with the fear, depression, and dread. I attended a support group last night and altho it was "okay" and the people are real nice, it didn't seem to do much good. I will continue to go tho. There was a woman there whose 19 year old son committed suicide and her 16 year old daughter the year after. This was 14 years ago and she was there with us laughing and smiling (proof that we can continue on with life).

I'm just full of fear, like I said, and tho I have hopes and plans for "tomorrow" they never seem to pan out. I wake up in the morning dreading the day and welcome sleep when it comes. It's so hard to work. My finances are barely there. I honestly just want to give up. I can't, as I have a little 9 year old boy who needs his mom.

So that's why I haven't been posting. I know it's a prayer circle but my relationship with God is so changed that I don't even know how or what to pray anymore. His will is done no matter how we pray. I used to pray for the health and safety of my children and now one of them is gone forever. I know our loved ones would want us to go on without them, but that is so much easier said than done.

Thanks again for caring.

1/6/2004 10:50

Holidays? Yach! I just wanted you to know, me and mike made it through, so far. It didn't seen right celebating without her there, Oh i know she's with us, but it's not the same. I miss her so much, i never thought it would be this hard for me. I should be there for the family, but it's more like the family is there for me.
I know im a very soft person, thats why i care so much for people. I still feel helpless, like i just want to do something . But nothing i can do will make the pain go away.
My prayers are with you all, but i won't list you all. must go to work now.
I pray this year is uneventful. Chris

1/6/2004 13:09

Hi There Angel Moms,Just heard from from sister-in-law,my brother-in-law has been placed on a respirator and put in intensive care.Please keep those prayers coming.
I'm sending my love to all of you,for all those prayers.
God Bless Everyone of You

1/6/2004 14:42

Hello dear AngelMom Sou, somehow I knew you were having some very hard days, and they culminated in little Sarah's due date yesterday. My heart goes out to you my sister, instead of holding your precious Sarah yesterday, you had to hold a pillow instead, I don't blame you one bit for going a 'little nuts', that's a very hard thing to go through.
A day that should have been full of Joy was a day of longing and much pain for you. I wish so much that I could have been there to just hold you and let you cry. I'm happy you had some comfort at least, picturing our great Patriarch Abraham and Sarah, holding your precious little one, until you yourself see her again one day, and can hold her for Eternity. These are very difficult days for you right now AngelMom Sou, so many painful emotions to deal with, one day it won't be so painful, God willing, but you'll always carry your Angel in a very special place in your heart. Wishing so much that the sun will start peeking through these dark clouds for you right now my sister, and I pray that you are going to find more peace in your own heart too, and join with you in prayer that no other Parents have to experience this greatest of losses.
salaam my sister,
Love, Prayers & Tender Hugs,

1/6/2004 15:43

Selva thanks for bieng so beautiful you have made my day by coming here and seeing all you caring about one another you are right only we know what we feel day to day and what we live with i am so very happy i have all of you in mind i pray every day for my circle of loved ones may god bless you all

1/6/2004 15:49

Hi AngelMom my pearlie, of course I miss you, I know how dark and black everything seems to you right now, and the very deep pain you're in. Your Posts are never depressing sweetie, just read those around you - what you're doing is expressing your pain and grief as best you can, sometimes words just aren't enough to really convey how we feel, but by talking about them, letting them out and being validated for them is so important right now. Oh - wipe that word 'whine' out of here, :-) it never applies! When I first started going to my Support Group meetings, I thought what am I doing here, all I want is Shane back, and these people can't do that for me. Something made me hang in though, and the more I went, I started feeling more comfortable with sharing all my pain, it seemed to open up a door for me that I needed so badly, because I really didn't care for anything during that first awful year, except wanting my son back. I remember so well laying awake at night and asking God to bring me home too, I did not want to go on living without Shane in my life, it was the intense pain you're feeling right now that I was feeling, and I know now it was the 'pain' talking, when I would ask God to bring me 'home' too. Now, other's may find that depressing to read, but I know here that everyone understands! (and now I can say after 4 yrs., thankfully He didn't answer that prayer of mine everynight) I also experienced fear, anxiety, whatever you want to call it, but it was very real, although I could never understand what I was afraid of? I finally had to see my family Dr. and get some help, it was just way too much to try and handle, and she gave me the temporary help that I needed at that time. So don't feel reluctant about reaching out for some medical help, so many of us had to temporarily receive it. I have no idea how you Moms do it when you have to go back to work, I know it's more of a financial necessity, but it has to be SO hard being around others who really don't understand. I'm so sorry your finances are in bad shape, I remember reading about some help re finances at a website, I'll look it up for you and Post it here, perhaps it'll help you. Your 9 yr. old needs you so much right now, I can only guess how hard that must be for you, I didn't have any wee one's to look after like so many of you Moms do. Our other son Chris was 26 when Shane passed away. But whether you realize it or not, the most important thing you're doing right now is letting your feelings out, not bottling them up, I love this site so much that I'm always reading the articles, visiting the various Boards, and I saw your postings on the Grief and Loss Boards, and that's very good too, letting them out there! The more you talk about your terrible pain, the better it is, as I said, and I think you're very courageous to reach out for the help you need. Oh no, this is not just a Prayer Circle, if you click on my Profile you'll see it's a Support/Group, Prayer Circle, and irregardless of your own seeking for answers and perhaps shaky faith, you can always just post here about how you're feeling, we'll do the praying for you 'behind the scenes'. :-) As hard as it is, keep slowly pressing forward, at your own pace. I'll post that info for you when I get it off their website. So good to hear from you,
Love & Tender Hugs,

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