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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

12/30/2003 12:03

Hi Angelo and welcome to our Circle of love, so glad you finally made it, you will find great prayers, love and understanding here our dear brother, we all share the same pain. My prayers are with you and be sure , your daughter is watching after you, and already in the company of all of our Angel Kids in heaven. Love Selva

12/30/2003 12:50

A new year is coming and again we have to live it without being able to see our children that have left. I wanted to sleep through Christmas but was forced to take part because of my 4 other children. Kevin was with us in heart and memories and spirit, but it is so sad to not have him here. He was the one who could never wait to open gifts and have the goodies. He has been gone for almost 18 months. The hurt is still there and will always be. The anger is there and will always be. I will never understand why he was taken. I am trying to find a new life with happiness again. I'm trying like everyone else is in this circle. I want Kevin to come home. He would be 17 and finishing high school this year. He was fun, energetic, athletic, and good looking. He had everything going for him. Why so many car accidents?

Precious Son
God, I know you gave your precious Son
To give us life with You.
But I didn't want my son to leave,
Cause he was precious too.
We all are precious in your eyes
And all to you return.
I know my son will not come back,
And I still have much to learn.
Our time on Earth is for learning,
And when our lessons are through,
Our spirit chooses the time we leave,
And we come back to you.
My precious son is with you,
And there will be a day,
That I too will leave this earthly place,
And you will light my way.
I know your arms will be open,
And I will have a smile,
To see my God and precious son,
I will then become Your child.

By Joy Curnutt

12/30/2003 12:52

Dear AngelMoms - again, thank you for taking the time to respond to my post. It's too easy to feel forgotten by the rest of the world as they go on and I stay put. Thanks also for the birthday ideas. In one of my last correspondences with my daughter, I mentioned to her that I just remembered she would be 20 on her next birthday (which made me feel old). She replied with, "yep, I'm gettin' old." She would have been 20 on the 20th of January.

Some of you have described what I'm going thru exactly. I cannot "get rid" of her belongings no matter how trivial they seem as I knew they were important to her. And I do indeed see girls around town who resemble her in looks and I have to do a double-take (even tho I know it couldn't be her). I understand that what I'm going thru now is "normal" grief. Knowing that doesn't seem to make it any less painful. I'm dealing with a huge amount of guilt right now. I can't help but wonder if there was something I should have done differently. I've been told NOT to do that, but I do it anyway. I feel like I failed as a parent to protect her. I know I need to be gentle with myself and I try to. There are a lot of things I have to block from my mind or they drive me crazy. I'm afraid if I do too much blocking I'm going to forget all the little details of her.

Another thing I'm going thru is that I'm struggling with my faith (I'm a Christian). I feel like I've drifted away from God. I feel like in allowing my daughter to die, He has turned His back on me and my prayers. I think that's considered a "normal" part of grief too. Has anyone else here had that happen?

Thanks again for all your kind words

12/30/2003 13:19

Dear Angel Mom's And Dad's

Love and Greetings from Angela

Welcome Angelo, I'm so glad you got here to post. You will find a lot of love and comfort here as they all know what a grieving parent endures.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and blessings for Valerie and Lucas. Talked to Valerie on the phone last night and she made it okay on Lucas' first angel birthday.

She went to his resting place with her husband and Lucas' Dad and she held onto Lucas' clothing he wore on that tragic day when the car accident took his life.

She is thankful for all your prayers and I know you all made a difference. Many young people came to Lucas' resting place as well to place gifts and talk to his parents. Valerie let some balloons go for his first angel birthday.

She feels what all you parents feel - guilt, a lot of it. But we prayed on the phone and I'm so proud of her for getting thru the day.

Selva, Verna and Sandy, she appreciated all your em's very much. Valerie told me about a man who came to her yesterday at Lucas' resting place and told her b/c of Lucas' death and life, this man gave his heart to Jesus Christ from Lucas' bold witness of faith in his brief life. Valerie said "If it saves just one person, it is worth it". Such generous words for a grieving mom to say. This is why I say your prayers helped so much, there was a real outpouring of love to Valerie yesterday. She appreciated the young people taking time from school and college and work to pay tribute to her dear Lucas, only 18.

I have a horrible migraine today and I just took my injection so I am going back to bed now. Just wanted to post and Thank you all Sandy for all the prayers...Valerie said she knew she would not have made it thru without your prayers...

In His Love,

Angela xoxoxo

12/30/2003 14:14

Hello AngelDad Angelo, I'm so happy you finally were able to log on and post here, although I'm very sorry for the reason why. Most of us, thanks to Ang, have read your story on your website, and have seen your precious Angela's picture. A very painful tragedy for you, God bless you, if you're up to it, please share what kept you going all those years, and please know you're not alone, there are other Parents here who've sadly lost their child at the hands of another. Our dear Miss V (Verna) has warmly welcomed you here, and I second that, this Circle is a very safe haven to let your feelings out, be honoured for them, and together we offer suport, understanding, compassion, love and prayers, never any judging. This is a multi-faith Circle of Love, and all beliefs are honoured here also. A very warm welcome to you dear Angelo, and I/We look forward to a Post from you when you're ready,
Love, Prayers, & Angel Hugs,

12/30/2003 14:40

Hello our dear Miss V, yeppers, our resident night owl, :-) I give up, you never listen to me, or anyone else, :-) so if you insist on staying up late, we're the fortunate recipients of your Posts! I agree with you, I pray for more understanding and compassion in the World, embracing each other as our brothers and sisters, peace for all on these pages, and God's Peace to all in this World of our's!
Oh gosh, I received a letter from one of the Editor's here telling me that it was going to be on the Homepage, and I just saw it. So please all, bear with me for a moment, there's a Post I have to make.
Much love & Angel Hugs,

12/30/2003 14:56

As i see all your pain and loniness i feel not alone i want to thank Sandy for her loving heart Christmas was a blur i missed my son dearly i recieved some of his clothes from a friend and i cried the jeans i had given him last year were in them i could not believe something i had given him that he loved the most was returned a year later after his almost 6 month mark the 27th of December is 6 months i cannot believe already half year has passed i never ever relied on time like i do now or count the days i ask god why at times things happen on my sons 5th month to be exact i was awakened i did not want to get up it was a day to be thankful for it was thanksgiving i did not want to cook or even get up i wanted to just be alone but i promised my adopted mother who installed so many wonderful things in me i would cook for her as a woke i layed there debating and let the unselfishness go i felt for myself and realized i also had two other children to go on for i recieved a knock on my door it was around 5:45 am who could be at my door so early i opened it to see a gentlemen and child they told me there was an accident in my crossing someone was laying there and did not know if the person was moving or not they were not persistant they said nothing in urgancy and they left i was dumbfounded i told my husband to go look and as we opened the door the darkness was filled with christmas carols Junior ran down the crossing to see and he come back and asked for something to cover the young gentleman i looked and could only find my security blanket and gave it to him i called for peramedics and as they arrived i seen them load him and then the wrecker took the car away all this happened so fast i later found out the young gentlemen was my neighbor he rolled in my crossing and died there on my sons 5th month to this day i cannot recall who come to me i believe it was an angel no one has ever talked about coming to me or to the mother i just believe god sent them to me to be there in this young mans journey to not be alone and i think everything happened so fast so i would not have had to wake up and witness something so tragic as i did 5 months earlier i try to look for good signs that not only i as a mother hurt but to know someone else felt that same pain on that day i believe the christams songs were a blessing and god had only another angel but why me am i missing something angel hugs to all moms and dads may god bless you all god send me your prayers and strenght to deal with all this

12/30/2003 15:43

Thank you Beliefnet and Wendy I am honoured and very humbled to be among the distinguished company of Most Inspiring Members. A big thank you to Wendy, for her support, kindness and interest in Our Circle of Love. Beliefnet, I'm very grateful for keeping this Circle up and running, giving us the space we need, you've always been and will always be my favourite website and I congratulate you all for the many Awards you've richly deserved and won over the years.
There's something for everybody here at your website and I myself have learned much over the years.
I share this Honour with each and everyone of you - all of you dear AngelMoms and AngelDads inspire me, teach me, and make this Circle the one of Love that it is! Thank you for bravely sharing your grief and supporting each other when we most need it. All of you who make this Circle one of Love are deeply imbedded in my heart and I love you all for giving me that privilege. Lastly, but NEVER least, I thank God for His great love and blessing the Circle as He's done. Our darling Shane, over the great pain in your passing, this Circle came into being - I know you and all the AngelChildren are shining brightly in Heaven.
Thank you again, dear Circle of Love!

12/30/2003 16:41

Hello dear TKH73, it's so nice to see you posting again, but I can feel your pain in your posting, it's so very hard this Journey, isn't it. You also had a painful Christmas, remembering the joy of past Christmas' with Kevin still there, your precious and painful memories of how he made the special day such a happy one for all of you! And yes, we have the prospect of the New Year almost upon us, and that too is painful for you and so many others right now. Sweetie, it's only been 18 months for you, that's not very long, you've made some small steps in your Journey, but you're still among the newly bereaved. You're still experiencing some of the 'first's', and even the 'second's' of special days, actually any day, is still filled with much pain - our dear sister Selva, AngelMom Lisa and all the other dear Moms on these pages who are around your same time, will tell you that they are experiencing still the same as you are right now, you still need time, and expert's in this area will tell you that the Second Year can be more painful in different ways than the first, when we're in shock and disbelief. You're still dealing with a lot of emotions you've never had to feel before, and the questions that don't have answers for you right now. Please still take the much needed time you need, your time, and you're doing the most important thing right now that help's, your letting your pain out, talking about it, expressing how you're feeling, it's very courageous of you and very healthy also. I know that you want nothing more than to have your beloved son Kevin back with you, and you feel robbed in a way. Please keep letting your feelings out and please give yourself the time you so need still. A very touching Poem, thanks for posting it, did you write it? Our love and support, prayers, are always with you, you're never alone here, and I wish you a very tender New Year, be gentle still with yourself,
Love & Tender Hugs,

12/30/2003 19:49

Hello Prayer Worriers (Mom's& Dad's)

Thanks so much for all your wonderful prayers.Please continue your Prays for unity for my wife Mary and Myself. These are very dark and lonely times right know. Mary, my wife has left,know 3 month ago, on what she belives is what the Lord wants her to be doing. And the murder trial begin as early as next month in LongIsland N.Y. I now live in Florida. I truly hope this b--- cops a plee, I really don't what to go threw this alone...
Blessing to All
I stand in Faith,
That GOD Supplies All My Needs

12/30/2003 21:06

Hi Prettybid, We are so new at this awful pain, so sorry only 6 months ago, I lost my only daughter 16 months ago, so we are new at this, the most painful hurt in a lifetime, nothing will compare to this pain, please hang on my friend, and keep coming back to this Circle of Love, Thanks to Sandy, Verna, Donna and all of our sister and dads friends in this Circle of Love , I have managed to keep my sanity. We all understand, this is a unique pain, so please keep on coming back here. Thanks to this Circle of Love I have managed to keep my sanity, and my faith that sometimes gets very weak, I had my talked to God and let my Anger out on Him, but I think He understands. Love Selva

12/30/2003 21:12

Hi TKH73, Yes my dear sister, we understand your pain, your Kevin Graduated from Earth 18 months ago, my only daughter graduated Aug 15 2002, 16 months ago, so we understand the pain, the whys, the anger, the guilt, see this is such a complicated pain. All there is left is Faith, even if don't feel it in our hearts, we must keep on Pressing On. Gods Knows, but we don't, so we have to leave it all to Him. Love Selva

12/30/2003 21:23

Hi Angelo. Our dear brother. We will keep on praying, Yes we know that these are very dificult times, we women deal in a diferent times somehow, but we are all in this awful pain my brother, we will be here for you no matter what, specially during this awful times of trials, I lost my niece , almost just like you lost your daughter, only we never found "the answer", Please keep on Pressing on (our Dear God). After all, only He knows why are still here. Love Selva

12/30/2003 22:06

Hi MyPearlie, (I hope one day you'll feel comfortable enough to post your first name at the end, but NO pressure), you never have to feel alone here dear one, as you've read, so many of us experience the same feelings, pain and emotions, that's why we all understand. But no, knowing what you're experiencing is part of the normal grieving process doesn't take your pain away, didn't take our's away, but in plenty of time, you won't be experiencing the terrible pain all the time as you are now, it will begin to lessen. And as I said to THK, you're bravely letting your feelings, pain out, and that's very important. As mother's we have a very strong instinct to protect our children, to keep them away from any harm, but when we lose them, we feel guilty that we couldn't save them, we were powerless and we feel as though we've let them down, we second guess everything surrounding their passing, the "if only's" crowd our thoughts, but you know in your heart of hearts that you were the best mother for your daughter, your love for her is great and that her passing could NOT have been prevented by you. Many of us go through the stage of feeling guilty, it too is normal, but after a while it's time to close the door on it, none of us could protect our child from physical death, some things are out of our hands, your daughter knows how much you love her, and you know how much she loves you still, so we pray that you let go of the guilt soon. If you're fearful of forgetting, some advice that was given to me and I did may help you - I wrote down in a Journal all the things about him that were so fresh in my mind and heart, his own distinctive walk, the way he'd open his eyes really big and look at me and make me laugh, all the little things about him that made him unique and brought so much joy into my life. Now when I go back and read those early entries, all those special things instantly come back into mind. Oh yes sweetie, many Parents experience a crisis of faith, or are angry with God in the beginning stages, many ask "Why?" I've been a good person all my life, You above all know how much I love my children, why would You allow them to die, yes, it's very normal too, but God above all know's what's in your heart, He never turn's His back on us, just try talking to Him from your heart, telling Him all your feelings, He understand's more than anyone right now what you're experiencing, the questions you have, the great pain you're in, He never moves away from you, if you're having trouble praying, just speak from your heart as I suggested, and always know that we're praying for you, standing in the gap as some call it, until your own faith is strong once again or your anger is gone.
Love & Tender Hugs,

12/30/2003 22:16

Hi dear Ang, that's so wonderful to read, we're all happy to have prayed for Valerie on a very painful day for her, and it always warms our hearts when our child's friends are still there, with their own special memories of their friend who's gone on before them, it help's us to know that our child is not forgotten, something that's very important to us, and dear Valerie will still be in our prayers, take care of yourself too,
Love & Angel Hugs,

12/30/2003 22:26

Hi my dear sister, you're too modest to say this, but I can - thank YOU for all your wise words and help to everyone, even in your own deep pain right now you're reaching out to help others here with your big heart, our AngelMom Selva, love you my sister,
Lots of love & Bear Hugs,

12/31/2003 08:18

Good morning Angelmoms and dad,

Dear Angelo, it's really good to see you posting here finally. Me too, I am sorry for the loss of your precious Angela. When I saw her picture it broke my heart. Although it's been a long time now, it still hurts. A brother of a woman I know lost his son when he was an infant, this was 25 years ago, and now finally he started the grieving process. Before that he was mad and destructive to himself and others but thanks to God, he finally started to really grieve and face his emotions. I know that men suffer in a different way. You feel guilty because you were not there to protect her, as a father you think this is your job. But whatever you might have done or not done to prevent this, you couldn't have. When an embryo is placed in his mothers womb, that's when God gives him his number of days to live, and God has given Angela less than most of us. So unfortuantely there is nothing anyone of us can do, as hard as it may seem. All we can hope for is to have the honour to meet them in heaven again. And we pray for patience, peace of mind and heart and we pray that the pain will get less with time and that we will have more good days than bad days one day, God willing.

I wanted to open another subject here FORGETFULNESS! Do feel like you forget the smallest things? As for me I have lost both my short and long term memory. Itís just gone! People tell me something now, and the next minute I donít remember! Even when I read your posts here, if itís more than two that I have to read, I forget the ones I read before. I donít know who wrote what anymore! Just to write a check I have to fully concentrate so I donít mess it up. I am lucky it was very quiet at work so most of the time I can turn off my brains. If I have to do something that normally is routine, I just canít do it like before. I feel like itís just such a big job. Especially if it is something that I havenít done often before I feel like I have the worldsí troubles on my shoulders, I can literally feel my brains being overworked, I get a headache and just give up. I have never been like this before. And I hope that it is a part of the grieving process and that one day I will be myself again, sometimes it scares me.

Other than that, I wish you all a good New Year, may God make the new year easier on us as the old. May we finally find inner peace and strength to move on without our loved ones with us. May God shower us with His blessings and ease our pain.

God bless you all

12/31/2003 11:12

Dear Sandy,I would like to share with you & other parents who have lost their dear pecious children.On my daughters,Christie's birthday,me my mother and my grandchildren go to her grave and decorate it with Happy Birthday banner and ballons,then the children let Happy Birthday ballons go,they send them straight to heaven for her to have on her birthday! This helps me,because it is a very important day for Christie & me.It also helps the children to remember their Aunt Christie in a positive way. I know it may be hard for some parents,I've done this since her birthday in heaven. Birthdays are suppose to be a celebration of life,and thats what we do we celebrate her life! She was that kind of person,she would want us to celebrate her life,her life was short,but she touched so many with her love.

12/31/2003 14:10

Hi dear AngelMom Sou, wise and comforting words to Angelo, the next painful hurdle for Angelo will be the trial, but hopefully the offender will accept a plea bargain, sparing them some grief. How are YOU doing lately, my sister - still praying for the sun to come through for you. Oh yes, AngelMom Sou, part of the grieving process affects our memory, especially right now with you experiencing 'valley days' with sweet little Sarah's due date here now. And if you're experiencing stress in any other part of your life, such as your job, that too doesn't help. Small things start to overwhelm us, and we have difficulty in doing the smallest of tasks, such as you're experience over writing a cheque. I remember standing in the aisle of the supermarket, staring at cans of vegetables, and I couldn't make the simple decision over corn or peas. I'd look at my clothes and couldn't decide what to wear that day. But what happened to me though, was that I had slipped into a depression, and had to seek help from my family Dr. If your memory, energy level, doesn't improve a bit, please see your own Dr. about it, you just may need a little extra help right now - many of us do. It could very easily be caused by your grief right now, as I said, it's pretty normal and very hard to function when you're going through it all, and I know that your little Sarah's due date is causing you to 'relive' and re-visit your own pain around her birth my dear sister. It's such a very difficult time for you right now. If these feelings, and your sense of being overwhelmed don't begin to lighten up for you within the next couple of weeks, it wouldn't hurt to see your own family Dr. and just talk it over with her, it may also be hormonal issues too along with your grief right now, causing you these problems. You WILL be yourself again dear Sou, you're going through a rough time right now. Praying for more sun to come through to you, and peace in your heart and mind! I wish you a good New Year too, and pray along with you for what you've posted for all, don't forget to tell your little Pearl on Sunday that we send her love and tender Hugs,
May God bless you too dear AngelMom,
Love & Tender Hugs,

12/31/2003 14:45

Hi sharonleemary05, (that's a long username, :-) I know it must have significance for you, hopefully one day you'll feel comfortable enough to post your last name, but no pressure!)
It's terrific to see you posting again, dear AngelMom. I think that's a very beautiful way and a happy one to celebrate Christie's birthday! It really sounds as though it IS a celebration of her life, with all of you there, and especially your grandchildren who will grow up knowing of their dear Aunt! You're honouring her life in a special way, one that continue's on her joy and love, your own love for her, and the impact she left on those who knew her in her short life. Thanks so much for sharing that, I think it's wonderful, and it'll help other Moms with ideas as to how to mark their own child's special days! Pray you're doing alright, hope your Christmas went well, and a very tender Happy New Year to you,
Love & Angel Hugs,

12/31/2003 14:47

p.s. I meant to say your first name, not your last, :-)
Love Sandy

12/31/2003 14:58

New Year

The New Year comes
When all the world is ready for changes
Resolutions..great beginnings
For us, to whom that stroke at midnight
means A missing child is remembered
For us the New Year comes more like
another darkness
But let us not forget that this may be
the Year
When love and hope and courage
Find each other somewhere in the
To lift their voice and speak....
Let their be light

by Sacha Wagner

12/31/2003 18:01

Hi all my dear Angel sisters and Dads. First of all I want to Thank God once again for giving me this wonderful family that I found at this Circle of Love. May God Bless you all, may this New Year be a very special one where All of Us find Inner Peace, Signs from our children, Understanding from others, Lots of Love, the much needed Help from Our Lord, and some healing to our Pain. GOD BLESS YOU ALL. Selva

12/31/2003 18:05

Sandy, Verna, Donna, Deb, and All of you Angel Moms that have guided me through out this year. I want to Thank You from the bottom of my heart. If it wasn't for you, God knows where I will be right now, Thank you Cindy for adding my Solange's name to your Angels, you have no idea how much I tried to do it on my own, it meant a lot to me.Thank you God for giving me this wonderful family, You took away all that I had, but in return you gave me this wonderful sisters and I thank You for that. May God Bless You All. LOVE Selva

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