Prayer Circles

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PART [2]
I will never forget how difficult it was for me, once I learned that our precious and beloved daughter, Diane, had been in a bad wreck and that we had lost her. My husband, David, was the first to learn that our daughter had been killed in a very tragic chain reaction crash, which involved 2 cars, 2 pickup trucks, and drunk driving. Surrounded by family members ... who came along for support ... He was the one who woke me up in the wee hours of the morning of September 1st, ... to give me the news.

Once I gave the word that I was ready ... It was he, who, with tears swelling up in his eyes, and almost in a whisper ... and as gently as possible ... broke the news to me. Whew!!! It literally took my breath away!!! Once I made it through the initial trauma of hearing the news, he was also the one who had to inform me that we would have to wait 3 days before we could identify our child's body; due to the fact that the wreck happened on a holiday weekend, and therefore the morgue was closed until after the Labor Day weekend. And, finally, it was he, who exploded when it was time to go identify our daughter's body! When asked if he was ready ... He hit our dining room table with his fist. The suddenness of his violent reaction took my breath away! I also felt as though something deep within my spirit seemed to have died that Tuesday morning ...

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PART [3]
Diane's father did everything a father should do to make sure that our beloved daughter was put away properly ... But, in my mind, and due to the magnitude of my own grief, I never imagined just how horrific and shattering and life changing Diane's death was for him just as it was for me! Had it not been for that one Big explosion ... I may never have know just how deep his grief really was! I consider it a miracle that our marriage survived it all. Looking back, I was so angry and hurt. It was as though I blamed him for being the one to tell me that our daughter was dead, and for everything else that followed her death! The fact that never once had I seen him scream, cry out in agony as I had done on the night I first learned what had happened, had me convinced that he couldn't have loved our daughter as much as I did; and he sure wasn't grieving, because he seemed to be moving on with his life, and with the rest of the world ... Just as though nothing had changed. It was only through reading, and talking to other angel moms that I learned that: "Men really do grieve differently!" I had heard it before, but had no reason to grasp the full meaning of that important statement until I actually experienced it as a result of losing our precious daughter, Diane.

PART [4]
I'LL be quick to add, that there are differences among men in the way in which they choose to deal with the ultimate grief of losing their precious child. Some dads do shed tears openly. Some dads can and do talk openly about how their loss has affected them. And, believe it or not, some dads, from the very beginning were able to stand by their wife and give them the tender loving care that they needed so desperately, and continue to do so, even to this day, God bless them. Most, however, tend to walk their grief journey alone ... And, as painful as that is to some of us angel moms, it is their right to do so! Only through prayer, counseling, and talking with other moms and dads who had learned how to respect each others rights to grieve in their own way, was I able to finally acknowledge my husbands right to grieve in his own way, just as he had respected my right to grieve in my on way. Only within the last couple of years has he begun expressing his grief over the loss of our daughter openly. Although Diane's father will never fit into the role of a dad who expresses his grief openly on a regular basis, It is my personal prayer, that someday, more and more angel moms and dads will find ways to embrace each other, and openly share their ultimate loss together, and let the healing begin! Perhaps Angelo, or some other angel dad who read this post, will share their feelings on how they deal or have dealt with the ultimate grief of losing a child. For sure, it will help some of us angel moms better understand how a man grieves from their own perspective, as we continue on our never-ending grief journey.

PART [5]
Thank you again, dear Angela, for sharing Angelo's story. I did finally finish the email I had started a few days ago and emailed him last night or early this morning! You may be sure I will keep Angelo, his precious and beloved daughter, Angela, and his entire family in my heartfelt prayers!

So sorry to read about your tooth abscess, but praying that the antibiotics have taken affect, and that you are rid of the infection & the pain! My daughter, Cheryl, had problems with an abscess just recently and is taking antibiotics for it also. This flu bug is still holding on, but I am making the effort to take my meds, eat right, and get plenty of rest; as much as possible, that is! Take care, dear Angela and be kind to yourself throughout the holidays! I promise, I will make the effort to do the same!
God's peace and blessings,
Verna

Good morning Angel moms,

Sorry for not posting for a while. I have been down a bit after a few good days. I am approaching my Sarah's official due date and it's hard, she should have been due between end of December and begining of January. It's just so sad. When I see newborns now I get all upset.
Anyways, I am happy Sandy that you liked my words to Shane, when I read your answer I was crying here at work but I was lucky no one was around to see me. You really made a big change. Through you I got my faith back and there is nothing I can do to pay you back for this but I pray to God to pay you back one day. I was reading a bit more about children who died and I found out that they are being taken care of by Abraham and his wife Sarah until their parents come and pick them up (Islamic teaching). So I feel some comfort and I am happy that I named her Sarah, so probably she would get some extra love :o)
MsBabs, I feel so sorry that you had to go through such a horrible time. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through. I am so sorry and I hope that one day you will find peace of mind and heart. You must be a strong woman not go crazy. Sometimes I think I am better off that my girl passed on before she was born and found out how evil some people are. When I imagine that she would have probably experienced violence by somebody I know I would have torn that person apart with my own hands. I am petite and can't even kill an ant but in that case I would just loose it. I pray to God to guide you through the darkness into the light and ease the pain on you. I pray that one day you will be able to smile again and remember you daughter with joy.

Dear Selva, I hope you are feeling a bit better. I hope you will get a sign from Solange and her godmother, both of them smiling at you during this tough time. I pray that God will guide you too through the pain, especially with the holidays coming.

Dear Susie, putting a child to rest is the second most horrible thing a parent can go through. You never think that you son really passed on until you lay him down to rest, that's when reality gives you a slap in the face and you start to understand that it is real indeed. While people are happy and looking forward to the holidays you have to go through this. You might get mad at the people around you for celebrating but they don't know how you feel inside. If you like just stay away from people and light a candle for your son on Christmas eve and cry all you need. I pray to God that one day you will remember your son with joy, too. Until you see him again, I pray that God takes your pain and make your life an easy one.

Dear Valour, thank you for posting Angela's page. She looks so full of live and so innocent. I will never understand how people can harm children, we shouldn't even yell at them, these precious little angels. I thank you for being here for us and I hope that Angelo will post too so that he can feel the love here.

I wish all of you blessed holidays, may God guide us through these toughest days of the year.
God bless
Sou

Dear Verna,

Reading your story again is such a heart break. No wonder your husband feels guilty since he broke the news to you, what a horrible thing to do. When my husband told me that you girl didn't make it I wanted to scream at him 'do something!' but thanks God I was able to keep it inside, he already felt guilty enough that he had to watch me giving birth to a child that we knew will not survive once she is out of my womb. He told me afterwards that he was sorry he couldn't do anything to protect us. Bringing the news is just a horrible task and I hope that no one of us has to ever do that. I pray that God guides you and your husband and daughter through the pain and heals your hearts until you meet Diane again.
God bless
Sou

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO DEAR SANDY!!! CONGRATULATIONS ON MAKING BELIEFNET HISTORY ONCE AGAIN!!!! HA-HA! ALL I CAN SAY IS ... "YOU GO GIRL!" :)

I TRIED TO HURRY AND PECK TYPE MY CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU FIRST! HA-HA! I WISH YOU AND ALL OUR PRECIOUS ANGEL MOMS COULD DA SEEN YO MISS V. IN ACTION!!! HA-HA! I KNOW I SPEAK FOR ALL WHEN I SAY, ... THROUGH BLURRED VISION, THAT WE ANGEL MOMS ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVERY, VERY, PROUD OF YOU!
MUCH DESERVED LOVE, & ANGEL HUGS!
YO MISS V. :)

Sorry angel moms, ~ I didn't mean to mess up De format and stuff, but I really got carried away when I saw our Sandy's name. :) I just knew she had made the list; even before I scrolled down and finally saw her name!!! I just know her beloved Shane is smiling down on her and telling all our angel kids, "Yup ... That's my Mom!!!" :)
Much love to all of our angel moms who have help make our circle of love a wonderful and safe place to visit for all angel moms, dads, and others who support us and offer prayers on our behalf. As I am sure our modest Chief angel mom Sandy has said many times before, & will tell Ya, again; Each of you have help to make our circle of love what it is today. We are a very special family, in so many ways! May God continue to bless our circle of love and compassion, and continue to lead other moms and dads to this wonderful prayer circle of love!
Love and Angel Hugs,
Verna

Hi dear Miss V, I know it must have been difficult for you to 're-visit' that pain but sharing your own story again will help our newly-bereaved Moms (and hopefully Dads!) to realize and know that Moms and Dads sometimes do grieve differently, not because Dads aren't suffering too, but you've very articulatry put into words some of the main resons. You're SO good at that! I read once that the incidence of Divorce is very high among Parents who've lost a child, and it's because of the difference, sometimes Dads think they have to be the 'strong ones' and not show their emotions, although it eventually does come out, just like your David's did. Thank you again for posting it, I know it's going to be a big help to those Moms who may be experiencing this right now.
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi MSBABS, welcome to our Circle of Love.I am sorry about you lossing your daughter in such a violent way, yes it is the hardes pain on Earth, i lost my only daughter Aug 15, 2002, so we are kind of new at this , all the Angel Mothers here have experienced your pain, and understand the anger, the whys, the guilt, and of course wanting our children back, many times I scream at God, Please give me Solange's back, tell me it is a nightmare, let me hold my daughter again, but no luck. I feel some peace thinking that she just went away for a while, and we will be together again, and this time forever. Please come back to the Circle, you will find lots of prayers, love and understanding. God Bless you. Selva

Hi Lighthourpath. Thank you for your prayers and welcome to the Circle of Love, yes we are all blessed. God let us share the love of our Angels, even it was for a short time for some of us. But He chosed us Angel Moms to Blessed by giving us such special child Angels. God Bless you. Selva

Hi Sou. Great to see you posting again, I am still in valley days, I can't wait for this Holidays to be over.It is so hard to see al the people around you sharing great times with their kids, I keep asking God to forgive me, because I do get kind of jelous, not been able to share Christmas with Solange once more it is just so hard.Thanks for your prayers Sou, and please let us know about the tests. Love you Selva

Ay my dear sister Verna. You are such a Great Angel, sharing your pain and reliving those moments are so hard on you, and to top it all, your hands not doing well, please my sister, take care of those good hands, remember how many people needs you. But please tell me. where did you see our sister's Sandy's name? I read the article the other day, but is there something new, please let me know. Love you Selva

Hello dear Angel Mom Sou, I'm SO happy to see a Post from you, when I don't hear from a Mom, like yourself my dear sister, I tend to worry. And I was right to worry about you, I'm so sorry that you're once again having some valley days. I know it has to be so very hard on you with Sarah's due date fast approaching, these special days and memories are so difficult on us. You can't help but be sad, and I understand completely how seeing other babies would bother you so much. I was the same for a while, I couldn't take any joy over other people's children, it just drove home the pain over Shane not being here. Thankfully it passed, and I know in time it will for you too, it's just too early for you right now. You're always in my Prayers dear one, and I will say some extra for you to carry you through these difficult days for you. Oh Sou, I LOVED the words/poem to Shane, I was very touched by them, and I cried also, my husband read them and he was very moved too. And there you were at work, crying also over my response to you, God love you, but I was so touched by your love and kind words, from my heart to your's, thank you my dear sister! Oh Sou, no, no, you don't 'owe' me anything, I'm just very humbled and happy that God has used me to help you in any way that I have! Just say a prayer for me, that's the best gift that anyone can give. What you've read must be so very comforting to you, Abraham, the Great Patriach of us all, and Sarah, his wife, to know that they are taking care of your sweet Angel Sarah until you yourself can one day. Oh yes, I am sure she is getting extra love too, :-) and feels your own love for her still. May God in His great love and mercy lift these clouds around you again, so that you can experience the sun shining through them once again. Any news yet from your tests? We're all rooting for you and praying for a favourable outcome, God willing.
Much love, Prayers, & Angel Hugs, salaam my dear sister,
Sandy

HELLOOOOOOO DEAR MISS V!! Thank you for your Congratulations, but I'm like our dear sister Selva, and don't know anything about it??? What list? What am I guilty of now, ha, ha! Again, thank you for your very kind words, to God be the Glory, but please tell me what it is??? :-)
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi my dear Angel sisters. After searching and searching I found where our dear Angel in Chief's Angel Mom is. If you go HOME and then unders INSPIRING you will find our Dear Angel in Chief's name, the same way that God took me to this wonderful Circle of Love, it took me to that page. THANK YOU SANDY. Just wanted to tell you I did not take my life Thanks to my pshycho, to You, and to my sister and brothers, and of course Thanks to God. MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS. I know Shane is smiling so proud, and all of our Angel kids are there smiling with him. Love you my sister. Selva

Oh my gosh. I'm in shock. I'm like stardove, one of the other nominees, amazed, humbled and honoured to be on such a list by Beliefnet. Thank you for your very kind words there, my dear Miss V and my dear sister Selva. I had NO idea what Miss V was speaking about until I read your post here my sister.
I posted there myself, saying that I share this honour with EACH and EVERYONE of you, you have all, in your own very special ways, contributed with your hearts to make this Support Group/Circle of Love, the very special place that it is and will continue to be. We are all unified by our pain, love and compassion to each other. You are all courageous, sharing your pain, your loss, your stories, never an easy thing to do. You all, in your own pain, reach out to others with love and understanding. I am very proud to be among you! All of you, again in your own special way, constantly inspire me and touch my heart in a very, very special way. I'm very proud to call you all friend/sister, I love you all, and all of your children, whether you've been here a day or a year, because I understand the magnitude of your loss, and how precious your child is to you. I know my Shane, God's Shane, is among the best of company, when I look at the stars at night, I imagine them to be all our children, shining their lights from Heaven upon me. And first and foremost I give thanks and a deeply grateful heart to God Almighty, who is the central force of love in this Group/Circle!

Much love to all, always in my prayers, and many, many tender Hugs to you,
Sandy

Good Morning Angel Moms! ~ Today, my hubby, David and I are celebrating our 44th wedding anniversary!!! Yes, Dees kind-a miracles do still hapPIN Ya know!!! Ha-ha!!! :) Just having a little good morning fun with myself! Hubby will be awake soon, so I must hurry and get off the computer
since I am supposed to give him my un-di-vi-ded attention for this very special day! Ha-ha! Sure hope there's a good football game or one of DEM good old westerns on TV to distract him for the rest of the day! Ha-ha!:) Just kidding ... I think! Anyway, I was surfing the net & saw this beautiful poem, and thought I'd share it with all angel moms & dads. I think the author is the same angel mom who wrote the very touching story about her son and his friend John. I'll have to pull up Angela's latest email to see if that is true. Right now, I can't remember the name of the site, but will come back on and post it in a few ... if possible. Just as soon as I get a cup of Java! So ... stay tuned!

Angela xo, if you see this, before I get back, let us know! I tried posting at your sister's beautiful site last night or early in the AM, but not sure if it went through. :)

WHISPERS OF OUR HEART

What can we do
When one comes our way
And wants help
To get through the day?

What advice can we give
That will help them survive
The loneliness of loss
The final good bye?

What can we say
That will help someone new
Who has to walk this road
Like me and like you?

How do we explain
That we know their pain?
How can we bring comfort
Like a soft summer rain?

What can we whisper
From the depths of our hearts
And let them know we understand
The feeling of a broken heart

I think we can give
By lending an ear
Listening to what we once said
When we faced that first year

I think we can offer
From the window of our soul
The wisdom we've learned
As we've grown old

To know you're not alone
To know others care
Can be more helpful
Than anything else, anywhere

To hug a new parent
Who's walking this road
And whisper "I know how you feel"
I've been where you still have to go

Whispers of our hearts
A hug and a ear
Can make a big difference
For someone this year

When your heart is open
And someone knows that you care
It only takes a whisper
To help a parent somewhere

Take their hand in kindness
Help them walk this road
Because we've already been where
They still have to go
Sharon Bryant
©2002

Good morning my dear sister. AND CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AND DAVID. That is wonderful 44 years! Yep that is a Miracle in this days.Enjoy your day and give hubby that special attention today. Thanks for sharing that beautiful poem, we all need that. love you my sister. Selva

wishing everone a not to sad christmas !
This week has been very hard . I want you all to know how i feel, Since I'm not the real MOM and i know how bad i hurt, i try to intensify the pain as if i was, I give to you my blessing again and again. I want to fast forward to 2004, can we ?
better new year, chris

Goodmorning to All Angel Mom's and Dad's...this is probably a very sad day for you...know that you are not alone. The ache in your hearts is probably so big and huge that you could not describe it in words....even today I am bummed out from missing my family, mom, sister and bro all committed suicide, dad died when I was young, so we were orphans passed around from foster home to foster home. I had good foster homes though, was very lucky that way.
I was in my last foster home when my mom took her life, we had gone to court and I told the judge if he sent me home I would run away, my mother beat me and allowed her boyfriends to rape me over a period of 2 years...it seems odd that I would still miss my mom after what she did but I guess that's human nature. The judge allowed me to stay in my foster home and I thrived in their care. My foster mom is still in my life, she was gramma to my kids.

Congrat's Divine Miss V!!!! Hope you and hubby have a wonderful day together and maybe a baseball game on TV would be great!!! lol

Miss V, here is the link for the site Whispers where you printed the poem from: Whispers

You can also see the page on Whispers on my site Here

My tooth abscess is causing a lot of pain and my whole cheek is swollen and red...I see the dentist today....I've been sleeping almost non-stop.

Your G/B posting did not take Miss V, from my sister's page.

Will post after dentist if able to let you know what is going on.

Take good care of yourselves and each other at this tender time of year...sometimes I hate Xmas b/c so many people are hurting and it causes so much hurt....people that do not hurt cannot see this....and it's awful.

Love Angela xo

Ay my dear sister Angela. I truly admire you, you are an inspiration to me, after all you have been through, you have so much love in your heart, that you must be an Angel here on Earth, May God Bless you my dear one, I am sure that God has great plans for you, and I know you already have a special place in Heaven, when God decides its your turn, you are a remarkable human being.Love Selva

Hi my sisters. I'm home now, just worked half a day, just wanted to share "the cuban part of Christmas", today is Nochebuena (The good night), we celebrate Christmas Eve in a big way, the family gets together for a big dinner, which is : Pork (BBq in the backyard in a special box called caja china, and that is "the whole pig"), then rice, black beans, and yucca (root) with a lot of flavor and spices, wine, and all kinds of desserts. That is what we used to do in Cuba when I was little and all the family were together. I kept the tradition for Solange, once we did the pig thing at my sister's backyard it was fun, then we will celebrate my birthday the next day with the leftovers, in Cuba we celebrate the 3 Kings that brought Jesus the presents on Jan 6, that is where we shared presents, but here we shared it Xmas days, Solange could not wait for it, while she was little, she will go to sleep early and leave everything for Santa including the letter with all her wishes, then as she grew older, we will opened the presents at 12 on Xmas . Today I am not celebrating Nochebuena, my poor sister insisted that she was going to cook our traditional meal for both of us, my borther has to work tonight, then I ask her to please go out tomorrow and share with friends, this way I will be alone, I need that. Love you my sisters. Selva

Ah, Hi my dear sister, thank you for your very loving words, if I helped you in some small part to stop you from doing that, then this Circle makes it all worth it! Love you too my sister, and I'm PROUD OF YOU!! As I said, I share this honour from Beliefnet with ALL! Please take care of yourself,
Lots of love & Tender Hugs,
Sandy