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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

12/14/2003 23:04

Dear Angel Moms, ~ I pray that God wraps His loving arms around each of you; giving you a peace and comfort and warm and loving memories throughout the holidays. The important thing to remember, in my opinion, is that we must remember that it's OK to do things in a different way, because we are different!!! We are no longer that person that existed before we lost our children. So, we must be kind and gentle with ourselves ... Even at the expense of others not understanding!!! It helps to remind ourselves that others who have not lost a child have no earthly idea what it is like for those of us who have. Sometimes, the very people you thought would be able to count on to be there for you, are not there, because they don't know what it's like for us; the indescribable pain that we feel, sometimes on a minute by minute basis. They don't know that, even as they speak to us about matters of importance ... And, even if we respond in an appropriate manner, ... We do so while experiencing the indescribable grief that is a result of our loss!!! And, as the lovely poem above points our so vividly, others, even family members and close friends don't know that it helps to talk about our children & hear the sound of their names!

Throughout the holidays, I pray you will take my advice and come here to our circle of love and pour out your pain, or your fond memories of your guardian angel and anything else you feel like sharing. This circle is God's gift to you and all angel moms, and dad's for that matter, because as we know, our dads are hurting, too! They just don't feel comfortable sharing their feeling openly like we angel moms do. It is my prayer that God will reveal to them that it is OK to do so; to come here and talk about their feelings. There is so much we could learn from them about how men choose to handle their grief.

I thank God for sending us all the newly bereaved parents. May God bless and keep each of you in His love & care!
God's peace & blessings,

12/14/2003 23:33

My dear Sandy, ~ I am responding to your post to our sister, Selva, at the bottom of page 194! :) She had better have her candle lit ... I just emailed her earlier tonight about the candle lighting service that was held tonight. I suggested that we extend that tradition of lighting candles as a tribute to our children on a regular basis. I will fwd that email to you. I may have sent a copy to you, to let you know that our special project that we are working on for all angel moms, is a secret, and I told our sister, Selva, that you are not telling either! :) So, Selva, and other angel moms, you will just have to wait & see!!! :)

Selva, I know how modest you are, but I want to let you know how much I appreciate your honesty, about expressing your pain and for helping those of us who are further along to be here for all our new angel moms! And, please, Selva, remember what I wrote to you in the email earlier tonight about accepting a sincere "Thank you!" See, we know you reach out to others from your heart. So, it really IS OK for any one to acknowledge that they are grateful to someone who is doing God's work! So, from now on, when you are feel guilty when someone says thank you ... Just smile and say to yourself, "To God be the glory!" :) That way, you help the person by passing their sincere thank you on to God!
Much love & Heavenly Hugs,

Sandy, I am on my way to email you concerning our little surprise for all our angel moms!
Love & Angel Hugs,
Yo Miss V. :)

12/15/2003 08:20

Hi Angelmoms,
I hope you all had a nice candle lighting yesterday and I hope that our angels were watching how candles were lit for them all around the world. It must be a wonderful sight from above.
I didn't go to the CF lighting, my husband didn't feel like it and I didn't want to force him so we lit 4 candles in our home, three for my siblings lost while in womb and one for my girl Sarah.

My dear Selva I admire you leaving the house where you and Solange were living. I can't imagine how you must feel. God bless you and give you the strenght to go through this.

My dear Sandy, I can't thank you enough for your words and understanding. I was reading here for a long time before I actually posted because my loss, compared to you who lost their children later in life, seemed so small. I thought that the fact that my girl didn't live with me outside of my womb makes my pain easier. I can only imagine all you are going through and I admire you for your strenght. Sandy, you told me the words I needed to hear and I really appreciate it. Now that I finally opened up, I am thinking of going to a support group for pregnancy loss in our town. I think it is time to face the truth and try to find the path to acceptance. I hope one day I will be able to give support for other Angelmoms just as I find support here. Sandy, God has indeed blessed you with the ability to always find the right words. Thank you again.
God bless you all.

12/15/2003 13:48

Hi SarahMyAngel. Thanks so much for your prayers, it is great that you will join a support group for pregnancy loss, it will help you a lot I'm sure and you will be able to help others as well. Yes our sister Sandy is blessed, and her advices and prayers comes direct from Heaven. God Bless you . Selva

12/15/2003 13:52

Hi my sisters. Had a rough night, but yes I lit the candles, one for Solange and the other for all our Angel kids, oh I'm sure they were watching all those candles been lit in their names, sure they were happy. Yes my dear sister Verna, I will light again at 7pm every night, I think is a great idea, its a way of celebrating Christmas with out Angels. So you and Sandy are keeping quiet about a surprise, I can't wait for it, coming from you two must be a wonderful surprise. Love you my sister, will post later on. Selva

12/15/2003 14:20

I'm new to this so please bear with me. My 19 year old daughter passed away Nov. 24th and we were finally able to have a funeral on Dec. 9th. I'm overwhelmed by grief. My mom passed away Easter weekend of this past year and I grieve for her also. Since the death of my daughter I feel like I'm living in a horrible nightmare. I understand grief is a process and that it will get better with time. My faith has been affected. I don't feel like I know God in the same way anymore. I had been in daily prayer and thanksgiving for my children. I think of the book of Job and how he was eventually blessed with more than he had before. My concern is: didn't he continue to grieve for the children he lost? God allowed his children to die. I don't believe God has taken my daughter but that He allowed her death. Please, if anyone has any words of wisdom to offer... And my heart goes out to all of you who have lost a child (or anyone). My prayer is for you to experience His peace.

12/15/2003 14:30

Hello our dear Miss V, as usual, one of your loving, wise posts to all! I agree, what a wonderful idea, we don't have to limit our Candle Lighting to just one day, we can light them for our own Angel and all the other Angels whenever we're moved to do so! The World Wide one will always be a very special one, but each in our own way can continue this tradition throughout the year, there are so many hurting Moms and Dads out there in this World of our's, we can each do our own little part in honouring all of them in their pain, our loving God knows who they are,
and that's really what matters, :-)
Much love & Angel Hugs,

12/15/2003 14:52

~~~~~To Each & Every Angel Mom~~~

Our dear sister Verna (Miss V) has created a very special Prayer/Poem from her site (do I hear a drum-roll?) :-) for every Angel Mom as her loving gift to all, below is the URL (address); I wish I knew how to do a workable link here, but I don't, ((-: help anyone? all you have to do is either copy & paste the URL into your address bar, or type it yourself, here is her loving gift to all of us:

Thank you dear Miss V, a truly beautiful gift from your heart to all,
Love & Angel Hugs,

12/15/2003 15:51

selva, i'm very proud of you. Although it was hard, you did it. my prayers are with you.
everyone else, my prayers are with you, this month of december, When every day is so hard building up to christmas.
I haven't gone away, just had to take a break, to recoup. but i do keep track of you all. Mike is doing ok , preparing for our first christmas, without our angel stephanie.
That is good advice, just do whatever you can handle. Whatever works for you !
I don't think age matters when you loose a child, from conseption to old age, it still hurts the same.
I was told of an old parent in there 90's had lost a child approx 67 years old, and how hard it was for them.
again my prayers are with everyone of you. Chris

12/15/2003 16:29

Hello AngelMom SarahMyAngel, (I hope one day you will feel safe and comfortable enough God willing to post your first name, but NO pressure), we did the exact same as you and your husband, we had a snowstorm yesterday and by night the roads were bad, so we stayed home too and lit our Candles, with such peace and joy in our hearts knowing that Candles worldwide were being lit all night long so our Angel and everybody's elses could see all the bright lights reaching to Heaven for all of them! Gosh yes, I agree, what a wonderful sight it must have been! What a wonderful sister you are to light Candles for your siblings that your dear Mother has lost also, as well as your precious Sarah, my heart and prayers are with your Mother too. Ah, thank you dear one for your very kind words, it's my joy and privilege to try and help another Mom who is in pain, like yourself, so if my words have helped you in any way, then I am very happy and thank God for using me! Oh sweetie, I am SO glad you've posted, and I pray you will continue to do so, you may have been given the wrong impression by reading back posts that your own loss is minimized, but nothing could be further from the truth! I joined a Support Group shortly after Shane passed away, and our Bereavement Counsellor first talked to me one on one, when she told me of her own loss, her 23 yr. old son murdered and his body has never been found, I said to her "my loss doesn't compare to what you must be feeling" and she gave me some very wise words that made me feel comfortable in opening up to her, she said "No, never think like that, it doesn't matter how we've lost one of our children, or what age they were, the only thing that does matter is that we're all experiencing the pain and loss of one of our children, and that's the only thing that matters". The same applies to you and every other Mom, we have all suffered the ultimate loss, one of our precious children, some of us have more memories to deal with, but like yourself and other Moms who have experienced this type of loss, or stillborn, you have been 'robbed' for lack of a better word, and your pain and loss is every bit as real as anyone else's! So please, don't ever feel that way. I'm very happy too that you are thinking of joining a support group in your area, I know it will help you tremendously, they're led by trained Professional's in this area, and it also gives you the benefit of interacting with other Moms face to face, sharing and listening to their stories, and how they are able to cope. I admire your own strength here in opening up and sharing your own story, sometimes not very easy to do, but you have taken that brave one step! You are already reaching out my sister, posting to our sister Selva, and to me, and look how everyone was deeply touched by the song you shared by Celine Dion - thanks so much for doing that! You've already left your own heartprint here, and as I said, I pray you will continue to post and feel at home here at your Circle, I just started it, it belong's to every Mom, yourself included. Perhaps you have your own special Prayer that has helped you and your husband, and you could share it with us, explain it's meaning, and also please let us know what day you lost your sweet Sarah, and we'll add it to our Master list. God be with you my sister, salaam,
Much love & Angel Hugs to you,

12/15/2003 16:41

Hello my dear sister, I'm so happy that you did light your Candles, just imagine Solange and all the other children seeing this beautiful sight on earth! I know you're having some very hard days, I'm so thankful the move is over for you, but I know it's still painful for you, God bless you, that was a very difficult thing to have to do! Always in my love, and always in my prayers, love you too my sister,
Lots of love & Tender Hugs,

12/15/2003 18:10

Dear Shaner!

Here is how to do the link for the Angel Mom's Prayer:

Angel Mom's Prayer

Love Valour
(Am just testing out my newsletter links before I send it out!! lol)

12/15/2003 19:09

Hi Galiants4. Welcome to our Circle of Love, I am so sorry for the lost of your daughter, but we all understand that pain, I lost my daughter Solange Aug 15 2002, so as you can see all of us are in this together, please keep coming back here, you will find understanding, prayers, love and specially you can let your feelings out, you will never be judged, let your feelings out my friend, that its the best way to cope with this unique and awful pain, we will be here for you at all times. There are some Angel moms who has been further in this grief, who can give us some good advice. So welcome to this Circle of Love. Love selva

12/15/2003 21:40

First of all welcome to this circle Galatians, I am so sorry for the loss of your young daughter and I hope that one day you will be able to look forward again. I canít imagine the pain you and your family must be going through but I pray to God that it will ease one day. You found the right circle here. These women here, especially Sandy are blessed with an ability to choose their words that sometimes I think they are not from this earth. I have been here only a few days and I already feel much better. I am glad I found the understanding I needed here, because sometimes I fear for my sanity. I am sure you too will find the comfort that you are looking for here.
Thanks again Sandy for your words, they mean so much to me. Most of my days are still Valley Days but I feel my spirit lifting day by day. I also decided to try for another baby God willing. When we all be called home, I want Sarah to have a sibling she can play with in heaven. I know there will be millions of angels but own siblings are different :o) You wanted to know when my girl went to heaven, she was born and left at the same time on 09-07-03 at 1.50 AM.
When I feel really down I read this verse and I feel much better, for even if we had been such a bad persons (which we hopefully are not!) to deserve hell, we will finally enter heaven through our girl.
The Prophet said, upon him peace, "The miscarried child will pester its glorious and mighty Lord for His entering its two parents into the Fire until it is told, 'O miscarried child that pesters its Lord! Enter your father and mother into Paradise.' Then it will drag them with its umbilical cord until it makes them enter Paradise."
Other that in my religion (Islam) a woman is forgiven all her sins and is pure like a newborn, the minute she gives birth. This is what comforts me in the darkest hours. So I feel that either way, one day will be that DAY and I will see my girl again.
Dear Verna, thank you so much for your poem, it brought tears to my eyes. It is so simple and clear. You describe exactly how we all feel. I pray for all you Angelmoms and dads to find the comfort we are looking for.
God bless

12/16/2003 00:13

Hello galatians4, and a very warm welcome to the Circle, I'm just very sorry for the reason why. You have just lost and buried your beloved daughter, your pain and grief must be so overwhelming at this time, God love you! You have to be in such shock and disbelief right now, a nightmate as you say that you'll hopefully awake from, your pain all-consuming, 24-7 in the beginning, as we say here. You have experienced the worst pain in the world that a Parent will ever experience, the loss of one of your children, your 19 yr. old daughter! When we lose one of our children, a piece of our heart goes with them, leaving a big, gaping hole, that will in time, and plenty of it, leave 'scar tissue', as you slowly, at your own pace, come out of the 24-7 pain. Right now though you are in deep grief, and your world has been turned upside down on you, you are experiencing so many different emotions that you've never felt before, and one of them is the most common among some of us, your faith in God has been shaken. You've always prayed and thanked God for your children, and now suddenly the rug has been pulled from beneath your feet, and you're questioning and asking the big "Why?". And that's OK, sweetie, Our Loving Father knows of your great pain, and how your trust in Him has been shaken, but He will never ever leave you, He know's your heart better than anyone, tell Him from your heart how you're feeling, He knows it anyway, and then ask for His help to deal with it and all your questioning and pain, and He will lovingly restore and give it to you! You mention the Book of Job, I'm sure Job did miss his other children, but I don't believe for one minute that God is 'testing' your faith the way He allowed Job's to be tested, by 'taking' away your precious daughter and also mother on you! It's your intense pain and grief that is making you think that way right now, God is a most loving and merciful one, as I said, you are experiencing the ultimate loss, and also that of your dear Mother, and right now it's overwhelming to bear, and we begin to second-guess everything in our lives. Please know that it's OK to feel this way, in time, and plenty of it, you will view and think of this differently, but right now, be very gentle with yourself, I pray you have good, supportive family, friends around you, and you always have a 'home' here, where you can freely talk about how you're feeling, and always be supported, cared and prayed for, we'll walk alongside you on your Journey you've just begun, so please post back again,
Love, Prayers & Angel Hugs to you,

12/16/2003 00:21

Hi valour, and thanks for coming to the rescue, :-) I knew somebody more tech savvy than me would know how to do it, much thanks sweetie for providing a 'workable link' for us all, much easier for all now to read Miss V's beautiful Prayer, and see your wonderful graphics!
Lots of love & {{Hugs}} to you,

12/16/2003 00:38

Hi dear Chris and so nice to see you posting again! All of us need some 'me' time so good for you for making that time to recoup, you're not only helping yourself, but your dear family and Mike too. Yeppers, with the Holiday Season almost upon us, and this being your 1st Christmas without Stephanie, you and Mike do whatever feels most comfortable for you, not what other's expect, sometimes we just can't live up to their expectations of us, and this may be one of those times for you and Mike. I so agree with you, there is no 'good time' to lose your child, whether it's from conception on to the story you told, about the 90 yr. old Mom losing her 67 yr. old son, the pain and grief are still there, and that's what matters,
Love & Angel Hugs to you and Mike,

12/16/2003 01:48

Hi dear Angel Mom Sousou, what a pretty name, and thanks for sharing it with us all, :-). You're very welcome dear one and once again I'm very happy and touched that words here have helped you, even in the smallest way, to help you know you are never alone, your feelings are very normal, you'll always have a 'voice' here in your Circle, and to God be the Glory, for using me and others to do His work for Him! Ah, I know you still have valley days, you'll always have them, but in time they won't be as often as they are right now, trust me on this one, :-) you'll never forget your sweet baby Sarah, and some days the pain will hit out of nowhere it seems, our children who have gone before us always, always rest in a special place in our heart's and we will always miss them and what could have been, but the valley days will be easier in time to deal with, I promise. That's so terrific to know that already your spirit feel's a little lighter and day by day it WILL lift a little more, just give yourself the time you still need right now, but I am very happy to know you're feeling that! You're going to try and have another baby? OH, that's so wonderful and exciting, I am SO happy for you and your husband, and I will add extra prayrs for you and he, God willing!! I understand completely what you are saying, wanting to give Sarah a brother or sister. Thank you also for giving us Sarah's date, we'll add it to our list of Angel days.
What a beautiful, comforting prayer you've shared with us, and one of the teaching's of Islam, little wonder that it bring's you so much comfort and peace on your valley days, such a blessed comfort for you to 'rest in' and give you hope, peace and comfort on your rough days! No, I don't believe Sousou that you or your husband were 'bad people' :-) but I understand how this beautiful prayer would help you and your husband on those days when we need comfort and peace in our souls on those 'dark days', that we all have! Yes, one day WILL be that day for you, and you will see your precious Sarah again! Thank you for your sharing my sister, and as I said, extra prayers for you and your husband, salaam,
Much love & Angel Hugs,

12/16/2003 08:57

Welcome Galatians4, Sousou and all the other new Angel Moms I might have missed. I'm so glad you found this circle, it is truly a circle of unconditional love. I'm very sorry for your losses and the reasons you have come here but welcome you with open arms.
I too lost my 19 year old child. It has been 14 months. Somedays I still can't believe he's gone. Your grief is so new and unbearable, just take it one minute, one hour and one day at a time. Cry when you need to cry, scream when you need to scream, and smile when you need to smile....My entire being has changed significantly since Aaron died. I still have days where I don't want to be here and ask God to please take me home, but I know the time must not be right and I will wait for God to decide when. The hope and encouragement you will recieve here in this circle is awsome, please keep posting and let your feelings out as much and as often as you need. All of us understand.

12/16/2003 09:10

Hi Sandy, Verna and Selva,
I apologize for not posting much lately, once again I have been in deep valley days. Is it normal to relive the night of the accident and thoughts of the pain our children suffered etc. this far into my journey? I can't get the accident scene and all the siren lights, etc. out of my mind these last couple of days. I keep thinking about what he might have been thinking or how scared etc. he was. I don't know if it is the holidays or what but I am not processing this very well lately.

I went to our CF chapters candle-lighting service Sunday evening. It was very windy and cold but beautiful. What an awesome sight our kids must have seen from above.
I am so sad for you, having to leave yours and Solanges home so soon after losing her. Oh, the memories that must have gone through your head that last day....My heart goes out to you. So, did you move into your new house? Is it all finished being built?

God, please bless all the newly bereaved Angel Moms and help them find a little peace this holiday season. Thank you for this circle of love and please continue to shine your love down on all of us here at this very special time of year. In Gods name I pray.


12/16/2003 09:13

Hi Teri (TKH63)
I was so glad to see a post from you again. Welcome back to this circle of love. I emailed you back but have not heard from you. I hope you are doing ok, I know this time of year is hard for all of us. Please post again or email me and let me know how you are.

12/16/2003 09:15

Thank You Valour for helping with the link....and also for posting here. We can use all the prayers we can get. It is so very nice of you to post at our circle, it means a lot to us to have people that have not lost a child visit and read what we go through. God be with you.

12/16/2003 09:17

What a BEAUTIFUL poem. You are such an inspiration to me. You truly have a heart of gold. Thank you for being here.

12/16/2003 09:19

Okay, so.....5 posts in one day!(lol) Wow, I hope I didn't forget anyone. Please know that my heartfelt prayers are with each and everyone of you.

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