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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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shaner
12/9/2003 23:02

Hi Miss V, our resident night owl, :-)
Thanks for your kind and loving words, and yes, a big thank you to Beliefnet! I can't remember either how you found the Circle, but I'm happy you did, :-)
I'm happy and grateful to all Moms, Dad's, friends, on these pages, that they would allow us into their innermost grief and help them to slowly arrive at a better place - a different place, one much changed since they lost their child/children, I honour each and every post, and yes, to God be the Glory, for using me to do His work for Him. My heart is with each and everyone of you, and that means the new Moms too, I pray that you will continue to post, share your stories, listen to our's, and together, with strength in numbers, support with love this Circle, which belongs to each and every one of you. My love and prayers to you all,
Love & Anel Hugs,
Sandy


bird
12/9/2003 23:09

Please pray for the nine Afghani children killed by accident when U.S. soldiers believed they were bombing an Al Qaeda hideout (it wasn't--just terribly wrong information). I hate that innocent babies get caught in the crossfire. I feel so horrible.


LisaLou862
12/10/2003 09:07

Good Morning Angel Moms,
After reading Verna's post I was trying to remember how "I" found this circle of love. You know Verna, I can't remember either....I guess God directed me here too. Thank you God! I don't know what I would do without you guys. Last night I attended our local chapter meeting of Compassionate Friends. We had a mini candle lighting service and talked about getting through the holidays. It is such a comfort to know there are people out there that understand completely how we feel. Just like all of us here understand. I sent you all information on the Worldwide Candle-lighting event this weekend. Let me know if you didn't get it and I will try again. Remember 7:00 pm Sunday!
God Bless the families that have lost loved ones during this holiday season. Let your light shine down on those who grieve and let your love surround us completely.
Amen

Love,
Lisa


SarahMyAngel
12/10/2003 12:48

Hi all,
I lost my baby girl when I went into pre-term labor at 22 weeks into pregnancy. It took 1.5 years to conceive and I couldn’t believe it when I saw the positive pregnancy test. I was looking forward to her so much and of course as every mom to be had plans and dreams for her. This was last September and I am still in shock.
This Sunday my friend who also lost a lost few years ago will take me to the candle lighting organized by Compassionate Friends.
I hope that our little angels will be watching from heaven when we light the candles for them.
God Bless


PeleMa
12/10/2003 14:03

Aloha and thank you for the kind words and welcome to this prayer circle. Just the words "your prescious son" and the tears gush from some well, I don't know how deep it is. Sometimes I imagine that I have touched some deep pool of grief and that my tears are for all us. I can't tell why I cry anymore or for whom. I try to focus on our good times, to remember how it felt to be happy in his presence, then the tears start, of their own volition, and I am left helpless once again to change our fate. It's like, he could walk in tomorrow and say "Hi Mom, it's all been just a joke." And then I could be mad for a few days and life would resume.

Thanks for giving us a place to make our tears welcome.


shaner
12/10/2003 16:46

Hi bird, welcome to the Circle and thanks for posting about this tragedy. They will be prayed for, as well as their families left behind to grieve, every precious child on earth and those who have passed on are the jewels of His love, my prayer is that each and every child be showered with the love they deserve, and for those who have passed on, there is a World Wide Candle Lighting Ceremony this Sunday at 7pm your time, so that Candles will be lit around the different time zones. A wonderful way to honour these innocents of our troubled times. God bless you,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


SELVAM
12/10/2003 18:25

Hi Bird. Like Sandy said, we will pray for all those children and their parents, war is so ugly, it is such a high price to pay for Freedom. We will storm Heaven with prayers. Love Selva


SELVAM
12/10/2003 18:32

Hi my dear sister Lisa, I received your e mails about the Candle Lighting, Thank God there will be one in Miami also, Juny and I will be there, and of course we will light an extra candle for all our Angel kids. I don't know either how I got to this Circle of Love, I mentioned that before, only God knows, but I Thank Him everyday for it. Hang in there my sister, december is almost over, I wish I could go to sleep for a month. I don't go to the stores or buy anything for anybody, I also told everybody I don't want presents or even a Christmas wish, I know maybe I am been rough, but I am sorry I just can not take it. Hang on my dear sister, this is so new to us, but we have to go on until God decides it. Love Selva


SELVAM
12/10/2003 18:44

Hi SarahMyAngel. Yes we do know that pain, it does not matter how old your child is, she is still your child, I am so sorry about your pain, just keep on hanging on and praying and maybe He will give you another opportunity to be a Mom again. Don't loose hope and keep on praying. I will also go to the Lighting Ceremony here in Miami, we all we be honoring our children. Our prayers will be with you and please keep coming back to this Circle of Love, you will find all the understanding and love that only we, the ones that know about this unique pain, can bring. Love to you Selva


SELVAM
12/10/2003 18:55

Aloha Pelema. I am glad you came back to this Circle of Love, yes the tears flow very often, but that it is good, don't try to let them in, you can cry all you want with us, we all do, and your precious son still is, you are still his mom and he is still you son, see love is eternal, that could never die, and your son loves you so much still, he will love you forever, until God decides that you will be reunited again, and you will. I know we want to see them, I will give anything to hear Solange telling my Hi Mom, I'm OK Love ya, but i know I will hear those words again, in God's time, not ours,yes we miss our children so much, we want to see them and hold them again, but believe me we will. It has been 15 months since I have not seen Solange again, but deep in my heart I know that we will be reunited again, and AY the reunion, what a great time we will have again. I am sure my sister Sandy will give you better advice that mine, she has been in this journey a little longer and has some more experience on this and great advises. All these Angel moms have helped me to survive and they will help you too. Love you Selva


innerstrength
12/10/2003 20:05

Lord Jesus, please bless Shaner and her family and friends and all those who have suffered the loss of a child, either to death or to a fate worse than death. May they all find peace in knowing that their child(ren) is now with you and will no longer shed a tear. Thank you, Lord. Amen


shaner
12/10/2003 20:35

Hi dear Lisa, I don't know how you found this Circle either, :-) but I'm so happy you did, yes, I believe you were led here too by our loving Father,
and I thank Him too! That's terrific that you attended a meeting of the Compassionate Friends, they're a wonderful organization and do so much to help Parent's who've lost a child, with their support, and I'm so happy for you that it helped! Yeppers, we all know I believe about the World Wide Candle Lighting Ceremony this Sunday, may all the lights shining here on earth this Sunday reach not only our Angels, but all children around the World who have gone to their Heavenly Home, and help all of us to reach out to each other.
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
12/10/2003 21:24

Hi SarahMyAngel, it's so nice to see you posting again and sharing your own painful story with all. With sharing your own story it helps to let more of your pain out, and help other's who have lost a child prematurely to know they're not alone! After a year and a half of trying to conceive, and then joyfully seeing the test results positive, your heart must have been flowing with joy, love and thanks for the opportunity to be a Mom finally! And then to sorrowfully lose your baby (Sarah?) must have been so devastating to you. My heart goes out to you, my sister, from the moment we find out we're expecting, we dream of the day that our baby will be born, feeling them move inside of us, and making many happy plans for the future. You carried your precious Angel under your heart for 22 months, and now you will forever carry her in your heart until you see her again. Somebody said to me shortly after I lost Shane, "well, at least you have your other son", but one child cannot replace another, as much as we love our other children. So your sweet baby will always hold a special place in your heart. That's wonderful that you and a friend who has also experienced the heartbreak of loss will be attending the Candle Lighting organized by Compassionate Friends, just imagine, all those lights reaching up to Heaven and I know all our Angels will see them! Please post back and let us know how your event went, salaam,
Love and Angel Hugs,
Sandy


beachmom45
12/10/2003 22:07

Hi everyone,
I would like to introduce myself...
I am a mom of 4 (raised 5 - including my nephew. 4 boys and 1 girl! Our home has been noisy-till now. Oldest J (nephew)is in the Navy - Japan. My daughter age 21 is away at college (only a 4hr drive away. My youngest just turned 16. My oldest son has come home to help us out and is commuting 2 hrs to school (age 23).

My beautiful 18 yrear old son, SEAN-MICHAEL passed away August 9th 2003. We buried him exactly one month after his 18th birthday. Born July 15, 1985- buried August 15, 2003.

He had just picked up his long time buddy from the airport who had moved out of state 4 years ago. Sean-Michael, my 16 year old son Evan and their two friends decided to take a drive to show him around. They got lost in the rural back roads- my sons SUV got stuck in a ditch. He called home and spoke to my hubby and said that he was stuck but had it under control. I was at my daughter's helping her move into her new apartment at the beach. Everyone was to join us that next day. When they never came home - my hubby sent our son Matthew (23) out looking for them. He couldn't find them. Their cell phones were in a out of the service area. When trying to push the SUV out of the ditch apparently it slid backwards and rolled. My son Sean tried to move out of the way but it happened so fast he couldnt clear the ditch completly. My son Evan tried everything to save his beloved brother. They smashed all the windows out of the SUV. They tried lifting it up off of him, and when he went unconsious he administered CPR. Sean's good friend ran three miles to find service for the cell phone to call 911. It took them over an hour to find them. And that was it. Sean just went to sleep. Due to the weight of the SUV-his lungs could not expel the air he was breathing in. He had no other major injuries except a possible fractured leg. Praise God no one else was fatally injured.
Sean-Michael was in perfect condition physically, mentally and spiritually. He was an athlete (swimmer)who had goals representing the USA at the olympics. Not once had he ever smoked, drank or did drugs. His strongest cuss word was Damn! He was athlete and also a coach. He was a wonderful role model to all who knew him. His faith in God was stronger than most. He read his Bible and always let everyone know who he was. His life was his witness.

We've had such a hard time understanding why God coldn't save him,. Part of me feels so betrayed. I have always prayed for my children. I've prayed for angels to protect them from the day that there were born. My husband tells me that we must keep the faith- to be faithful to the end and then we will see him again. But he also has moments when he questions it all and says "there better be a GOD."
I need to know if anyone else felt this way and how did you rebuild your faith? I know God promises to ride the storm with us...but I'm having a hard time with it all. I have been a faithful Christain for most of my life (give or take a few rebellious years.) I haven't been able to talk to anyone because so many have looked to us for the answers! But I don't have it on this one! Has anyone else felt like God has forsaken them? Someone told me that when a life is full when a life is complete God calls them home. How could a young childs life be complete or full? Please forgive my rantings, I'm tired and my eyes are full of tears. With much love and gratitude,
Marci


shaner
12/10/2003 22:12

Aloha, PeleMa, it's so nice to see you posting again, and I can feel your pain through your post, God love you. Our sister Selva has shared what is so true, you know I didn't mean to cause you more pain, but he is still your precious son, and always will be. The well of grief is a very deep one, I would even go so far as to say bottomless, until we are once again reunited with our child that we have lost. Any little thing can set off our pain and tears again, no matter how much time has passed, they are forever a part of us, and we are forever a part of them. A piece of us goes with our child, and leaves a void in our lives that can't be filled by anyone else. Sometimes I'll hear a song on the radio, or drive by a favourite store that Shane liked, and it will set the pain and tears in motion again. Cry, my sister, whether you know why you're crying or not, tears are a soothing balm for our souls. Even remembering the good memories can trigger pain and tears, a deep yearning to 'turn back the clock', and hear their sweet voices again, and see their shining faces. You, your tears, and your precious son will always have a place here, your 'voice' will always be honoured, perhaps, when you're ready, you can tell us about your son, and what his name is, but only when you're ready to do so. Our love, prayers and support will always be with you,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
12/10/2003 22:19

Hello innerstrength, thank you so much for your prayer and kind words for us all, we always truly appreciate it when someone comes here to this Circle and posts their thoughts, prayers, for all of us, thank you so much, and may God bless you in whatever way He knows you need,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
12/10/2003 23:43

Hello dear Marci, and a very warm welcome to this Circle of Love, where we pray you will feel at home. This is a very safe haven to let your feelings, pain and tears out, and you will always be honoured, supported, prayed for and receive understanding, all of us know of the terrible, raw pain that consumes us in the beginning when we've lost one of our precious children. No Marci, never rantings, you're sharing your own unique story of your own sorrowful loss of Sean-Michael, so never ever any need for apologizing, OK. Your family sounds lovely, and I can feel your great love for them through your introduction, :-). I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved Sean-Michael, it's been so recent, you must be in such grief, pain, shock and disbelief right now, God love you. The pain in the beginning is all-consuming, 24-7, there is no pain in this world that compares to the loss of one of our children. Let your tears come, punch your pillow when you're angry, it's very important to let your feelings out, and not keep them bottled up inside. My heart aches for Evan too, trying desperately to save his dear brother, as well as his friends. This has to be SO hard on him also. In that area, your story mirror's our own, our oldest son Chris was the one who found our Shane dead, my hubby and I had gone to the store - gone 20 minutes - and came home to Chris crying, sobbing, and the ParaMedics in the bedroom, trying to revive him. It's something that will stay with our son's the rest of their lives too, but your Evan will make peace with it, as our Chris has, in their own time. Your Sean-Michael sounds like a wonderful boy, who brought much love and joy into your lives, and will continue to do so, love never dies, it's Eternal, it's the only emotion that ever matters and it's strong bond is always there! Marci, you'd be hard-pressed to find a Mom on any of these Pages who hasn't gone through the anger phase directed at God. He knows this, but His love for you is constant, unconditional, never-changing. Oh yes, there are many Mom's, Dad's who question their faith beliefs, it's a very normal reaction to grieving, trust me, you're not alone. But please keep a dialogue (prayer) with Him, tell Him of your feelings, He already knows them, and as hard as it may be to believe it right now, He will be your Rock throughout this. I may be wrong, sweetie, but I think you're really asking the big question "Why" -


shaner
12/11/2003 00:10

~~Part 2~~ Marci, we're good people, Sean-Michael is a good young man, WHY would this happen to us?? Of course you are sweetie, and of course Sean is too! So many people will try to give you their answers, but I think it's just too early in your grief to offer any answers, because nothing right now is going to make any sense to you - it will later, but not right now. I would strongly urge you to read the book, "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Rabbi Harold Kushner(sp?) he wrote it after experiencing the loss of his own son in his life, and it's a wonderful, comforting read. It's helped many a Mom, Dad, with their grief and questions, and many here have read it and can attest to it's help.
The important thing right now is to give yourself time, your time, not someone else's timetable. Other well-meaning people sometimes have expectations of us that we can't possibly live up to, so grieve at your own pace, and be gentle with yourself, your world as you knew it has been turned upside down. Please post back again, only other Moms, Dads who've gone through this terrible loss truly understand, and you'll always have a voice here and be honoured with your feelings, whatever they may be. Lots of love, prayers and Angel Hugs,
Sandy


Leander72
12/11/2003 13:00

Dearest Angel Mom's, New Mom's and Dad's who have come I'm glad you have come as many have said this is truly a Haven of Love and Understanding. I'm writing to those who have helped me on my journey to say Thankyou for your Love and support and wisdom I've been gone for many reasons basically the flu hit my family hard but we are doing better but the rest of our family isn't Mike's Mom&Dad have moved to the retirement comm and it has been hard for them so hard they don't want our help and Dad is having a very hard time with what the Dr's have told him, my Sister Shar has recieived answers to the medical problems and we Thanknyou for your prayers she has been diagnosed that the Lupus is out of remission and hitting hard and my adopted Mom is out of critical care and finally home, many of you have given beyond measure and I hope I have helped someone along this journey, know that each of you will always be in my heart and prayers wether I'm here or not I will keep you and your Precious Angels in Remembrance and lit candles till someday there are no more losses. I will miss you but know you are never far from me in Spirit or Heart and above all I Thank You for your Love and Prayers and I know you may find it hard to believe but I Love Each of You and will always lift you up in Prayer. Love Always and BearHugs foreverandaday Donna


prettybirdluvsu
12/11/2003 15:09

sending you all my strength and prayers i lost my son 5 months ago and i feel so lonely that some days i cannot be here but i know i have to financially support my other 2 children and live for them and keep it together i am a true believer of god and i know he only tests us strong ones who sees our heart as unselfish may god bless you and Ps. an angel who also lost her son sent me to this site thanks for all you bieng out there sticking together only your love keeps us together and strong


prettybirdluvsu
12/11/2003 15:21

i got a chance to read some of your stories and happy to know i am not alone i do feel sometimes like you out there never know to be happy or sad somedays are good some bad but most of all full of hurt anger and hatred my son was murdered and i don't know how to deal with it does anyone have suggestions he was 15 years old and full of life i miss him terribly and like in one confession how you wait and think he is coming home i wait and wait look for every sign i hope you out there don't mind me writing all the time because i finally found somewhere to go for someone to understand me and never look away with out knowing that look of looking for the answer


prettybirdluvsu
12/11/2003 15:24

Sandy you sound like an true angel i thnak god for your path in life let the light shine your way through take care and also angel hugs and kisses too


TKH63
12/11/2003 18:05

I send a special prayer for healing to all of us. The holidays are hard and people sort of understand that. But I wish they knew that each day is hard. Kevin has been gone now for 17 months now and I still want him to come home and pray for it to happen. He was only 16 and so much happiness in our lives. Why can car accidents take so many of our children. He wasn't the driver and the driver is gone to at only 16. They are children and not ready to drive. If it was something other than cars would someone do something more to help. There is all kinds of help for sicknesses but what about our babies in car?


shaner
12/11/2003 23:52

Hello dear Donna, it's terrific to see a post from you, and we are all very sad that you have to leave! BUT family always comes first, and your family and sister need your undivided attention right now, so we all understand. You have left your own heartprints here, with your Light shining through your own pain, and your great spirituality, a Beacon of Light for all, your loving posts through your own tears, and Mikey and Christina will forever be in our hearts. We'll never forget Bear Hugs, or Tender Teddy Hugs, :-) they are now part of the vocabulary here at the Circle, :-) Just as we and our children are with you, so you and your's are with us, and our prayers for you, your family, dear Shar, will always be with you! We love you, Angel Mom Donna, and your heartprints are forever on these pages and in our hearts. Don't forget to take care of you, our love and prayers go out on the wings of Angels to you our dear friend,
Lots of love & Tender Teddy Hugs,
Sandy

 
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