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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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shaner
12/7/2003 09:47

Hello dear Miss V, happy to hear that your hands are doing much better! It must be such a relief not to be in so much discomfort and be able to post again!! Yes, you're now on the World Wide Web!! I was only too happy to play a small part in it, God bless Angela. Bravo to your success, and Praise God for all He does for us!!
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
12/7/2003 09:56

Happy Birthday sweet Solange! There must be quite a party going on in Heaven today, with all the Angel kids helping you celebrate! You know for your dear Mom this isn't such a happy day for her. That's because she loves you so much and misses you - but you already know that little one. Let her feel you around her today, the love you have for her, and may the Angels dry her tears. We will also do our best to support her today, that's a promise! Birthday kisses and hugs for you Solange on your birthday, sent on the wings of Angels, and love and Angel Hugs, prayers, for your dear Mom.
Lots of love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


LisaLou862
12/8/2003 09:08

Happy Birthday Solange! I apologize for being tardy. I did not get on the site yesterday to be able to post but Selva you were in my thoughts and prayers. I bet the kids had a great party....I hope you did okay through the weekend, I know it was going to be a really tough one for you. We are always here for you.....peace be with you.
Lisa


SELVAM
12/8/2003 18:46

Hi my dear sisters. First of all Thank you from the bottom of my hearth for remembering Solange's Earth birthday, and Thank you so much for all your needed prayers, it really helped me, can you imagine? on Solange's birthday I got rid of her bedroom, ay my sisters it was so hard but with your prayers and her help it was not so bad until today, I guess I kept myself so busy yesterday, I was physhical exhausted, but today everything turned upside down, it was like, reality check. Thank God I received the good news about Sandy our Angel in Chief, and our dear sister Verna been on the World Wide Web, it is so amazing and wonderful. I am so happy I forwarded both of the messages to everyone I know, and that, my dear sisters gave me the strengh to go on today, I guess we have to keep up with this month, God forgive me but I learned to not like Christmas, before Solange was called to Heaven, it was Magic, her birthday, my birthday, Christmas, then my sister's birthday, the Xmas tree which I HAD TO BUY after Thanksgiving, ans Solange will decorate with my help (she did not wanted it) I had Doves that I insisted on putting on the tree, and she will always say OH MOM they are very old, also I will buy the Hallmarks Christmas ball ever since she was born, and that we had to keep , when she was born, then her first Xmas, then on and on. Ay my sisters, why? Love you all and I thank God for all of you. Love Selva


buckholzv
12/8/2003 21:12

Hi everyone, have been in the middle of a move and very busy looking for job etc; so haven't been on for awhile.
Just a little note to say hi and send my prayers to everyone. With all my love Vicki


shaner
12/8/2003 21:17

Hello my dear sister, I know you are in 'valley days', having to move Solange's belongings so soon and her birthday would be so hard on you! I am so happy to hear though that our love and prayers helped to make the day more bearable, you know you always have us for support, love. Thank you my sister for your kind words, have you read the article, there is a post from you there, as well as some others! Big thanks to Beliefnet and in particular Wendy, who is a very warm, kind person!
Ah, I know my sister, Christmas is a very hard time for us, especially early on our Journey's. What was once a very Joyful family event, is now one of pain for you newly bereaved Moms, and one of bittersweet moments for those of us a little further on the Journey. The first year we did not celebrate it at all, except to go to Mass, where I sat in tears praying. It was only until last year that I decorated the house, trimmed the tree, and put the decorations on it that Shane and Chris had made when they were younger. We all have our own memories of Christmas's past, when our child was still with us, now there is a big piece missing. Your decorations sound so beautiful, and are full of your own memories for you, but very painful one's right now. Remember what I say about Holidays, do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable, not what others expect of you. One minute, one hour, one day at a time, and we will be here for you and each other to help us through. Love you too, and I thank God also for being my friend, and for your love on all these pages, Angel Mom Selva, :-)
Lots of love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
12/8/2003 23:45

Thank you Beliefnet

A very heartfelt thank you to Beliefnet, and especially Wendy, for writing about this Circle of Love and profiling it. It is my fervent prayer that it will lead more Parents who are hurting to this Circle, and that more Parents of different belief faiths will also find a 'home' here. I honour each and everyone of the 4,600 Posts here, each with their own story of unique loss of a child. I thank Our Heavenly Father, who is the driving force behind this Circle, for using me to do His will for Him. And to my darling Shane, you are forever loved and missed, one day the chain will be mended again.

Lots of love to all & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


mankindshelper
12/9/2003 03:48

My Dearest Sandy,
My love, hopes, and prayers go out to you and all those others who pass this way.

I lost a best friend of 28 years of which we had reunited after his diviorce (different lives, different cities) before we were married he dyed of brain aneurysm. Two years to THE DAY, I lost my little boy (cancer), 1 Year to that DAY I lost my mother. I feel very fortunate to have had such great people in my life, and what an agreement that must have been made before we came to this earth. A man with such tallents on earth, to go and help people on the otherside, A little boy with a smile that could light up a city and love that pored out with his very existance (before he dyed they found a remission drug for his cancer, and another type of cancer, and a perfect bone marrow match for a child the doctors knew they never would (received call from hospital that x-mas eve saying thank you from the parents our little one dropped that afternoon, MEDAVAC, did not make it). God what a child to have made an agreement before he was born to dye at 9 yrs old that so many could live. And my mother, who could not stand that our little one was on the other side with out one of us to hold him and keep him safe (dyed of heart attack).

It is very hard for most people that they can not feel their loved one in their arms, but believe me, they are still there. They come to you in the night and whisper their love to you, pass by you so you might smell their presence and bring love into your heart. That is when you are still, and the mind can listen.

My heart and soul goes out to all of you. Your right Sandy, the pain rises up and grabs me some times so bad I can't breath, but then I stop and tell my self, I can't do that. If they could make such agreements for their lives, then I need to remember how luck I was that they passed my way, how bad it would have been if they had not brought roses into my life that I could stop to smell.


mankindshelper
12/9/2003 04:15

Sandy, My little one loved x-mas. I had told him I would not take the tree down or do presence until he went home. The x-mas eve we flew him to San Francisco he kept saying "Don't have x-mas with out me, I don't want to miss x-mas", and of course we kept saying "No Way Jose", "You got the biggest presence, what good would it do". He lived for 1 1/2 weeks. That after noon we kept telling him it would be ok, it would work out we had to do x-mas yet. After his nap he woke up yelling saying they were there and he didn't want to go, he wanted x-mas. Then suddenly he said it was ok, we needed to go home and take the tree down, because an angel had told him not to be afraid she would stay with him. 1 hour later we called to ask neighbors to please drag the tree out the back door, and take the presence, we couldn't take going home to the tree. The x-mas reef he picked out that year stayed on the front door all year round, as a reminder that he is always with us no matter what the season. I am going to move it to the back door this year, his little brother (now 9 yr) picked one to go on the front door. He said it was time to move it. I will take that as a sign, out of the mouths of babes. He said that his brother had came to him in a dream telling him not to be sad, he was always there, it was alright.


LisaLou862
12/9/2003 09:20

Welcome Mankindshelper,
Your story really touched me and yet gave me hope. Christmas will never be the same without our children. I'm glad you found our circle, please know that all of us here understand and feel your pain.
Lisa


LisaLou862
12/9/2003 09:38

Selva,
I too no longer look forward to Christmas. Aaron loved Christmas! It was always his favorite holiday. I can remember getting up in the wee hours of the morning and opening presents because he couldn't wait any longer. He would always wake up his brother and they would both come in my room together and tell me it was time. Then of course we had to try out the new presents. Whether it was roller blades or remote control cars, etc. we were always outside before dawn playing with the new stuff. OH, the memories.... I miss him so badly. I put up my Christmas tree Saturday. Last year my Mom and my Aunt put it up for me. I had bought all of this victorian stuff the year before at the after Christmas clearances. So, it was a totally different tree than we were used to. It was ok, but this year I decided I wanted to put it back to the way we have always had it. I hung all of Aaron and Christopher's ornaments that they had made over the years. I love the ones they made in grade school with their pictures. I was ok, until I was almost done and I just broke down and cried. I got so mad it was unbelievable. I just wanted to scream. But of course me being the "can't lose control" person that I am swallowed the pain and went on. I know that is probably not the best way to react but I truly can't just let myself go completely. I might not come back....
God, please bless all these angel moms and let them feel your love through out these holidays. May peace be with them.
Amen


chayward
12/9/2003 10:53

I'd like to say a prayer for all the parents who's lost a child, I too lost my son Joseph who was 3 years old,Dec 12,1999. It is only through God help and gidance that I was able to go on, for he was the one who carried me, when I could not, As any parent knows the lost of a child that pain is great, turning it over to God and asking for guidance,time does heal are wounds, I will never forget my little Jo Jo, and I like to think that God needed him more then I, he is an angle working in God's Care, My prayers and thought go to all you parents who share the same pain as each one of us, knowing what the lost of a child.Our love is with our children as they are still in our hearts.


karbar
12/9/2003 11:49

Dear God,
Bless all the parents of children lost.
Keep them close to You and love them as they journey through their grief.


PeleMa
12/9/2003 11:55

It is the 5th Christmas without him. This year we put up our Christmas tree on his 32nd birtday, 11/22. It doesn't get easier, I just pretend better. I have a beautiful daughter who has epilepsy and her 10 month old daughter is not developing normally. God Bless us all.


shaner
12/9/2003 16:19

Hello mankindshelper - what a beautiful username that you chose! A big, warm welcome to the Circle, I'm only sorry that because of your own loss that you are here, but I truly loved reading your story, very sad and heartbreaking, but also full of hope at the same time! So many painful losses to deal with, so close together, it had to be so very painful for you. "a little boy whose smile would light up a city", what a beautiful way to describe your precious son! You and your little boy gave the most precious gifts, life to other's, so they can continue on in good health to complete their Missions here on earth, a very loving thing to do. I wish we had been able to donate our Shane's organs, but he had been without oxygen too long, so they weren't viable anymore. It was something he felt strongly about. No regrets though, if it was meant to be, it would have happened. Yes, I so agree with you, the 'signs' our children give us can be so subtle sometimes that unless we're quiet in mind, we may miss them, or dismiss them as a coincidence, they don't always have to be big, grandiose signs, there are so many little ones that occur, and my prayer is that all Moms experience them too and it gives them the peace and the connection they so long for. Like Lisa who replied to you, nothing would make me happier to hear that she received her sign, or dream that she so long's for. It will happen, when the pain and grief is so unbearable at the beginning, it's very difficult to quiet the mind. Oh, I know sweetie, it's so painful when we're hit with a 'griefburst', but thankfully those of us further along get over them faster than those Moms who are newly bereaved. I love your philosophy of looking at life that way, I think of earth as a big school, where we learn our lessons, make mistakes and learn from them, and hopefully touch other people's lives with love, the only real emotion that matters! I too feel very blessed to have had the people in my life that I've had, particularly my Shane, who taught me many things, and helped me to become a better person. Yes, we are the richer for these 'special roses' coming into our lives!
(tbc)


shaner
12/9/2003 16:36

~~Part 2~~
What a truly touching story of your little boy and Christmas, it brought tears to my eyes. I have a very dear friend who also lost her little boy to Cancer, and he experienced the same, an Angel waiting for him to lead him home. I have to relate to her your inspiring and touching story too - what an awesome God we have that looks after our children at their end! Your beautiful reef that he picked out will always be a sign to you, a very special one, but yes, out of the mouths of babes, :-) your other dear son letting you know it's alright to put a new one up!
Just loved reading your story, and I truly hope you'll post back again, we'd all love to hear and read from you, by each of us sharing, it gives hope and love to each other, as we all travel on our own Journey's!
Love & Angel Hugs to you,
Sandy


shaner
12/9/2003 16:49

Hello chayward, a very warm welcome to this Circle of Love and Prayers. I'm so sorry for your own loss of your sweet 3 yr. old son, JoJo, just a babe. I too found that a big comfort, turning it over to God, and leaning heavily on Him, and the help of so many people praying for me also. No, sweetie, you will never forget your Joseph, he is forever a part of you, and you are forever a part of him, love never dies, it's Eternal, and the love you both have for each other lives on - it's a bond that can never be broken. Thank you for your very kind thoughts, and our love, support, understanding and prayers go out to you, please post back whenever you feel up to it, you'll only find love, support and understanding here, that's why we call it a Circle of Love. And with Christmas approaching fast, we can all benefit from each other's sharings. May God bless you in whatever way He knows you need,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
12/9/2003 16:52

Hello karbar, thank you so much for your kind words, we truly appreciate them, and love it so much when someone takes the time out to come here and offer support and prayers. May God bless you also in whatever way He knows you need,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


LOVE2U
12/9/2003 16:52

Congratulations, Sandy! ... Our Chief Angel Mom! I am Soooo proud of you and grateful to you for listening, when God whispered in your ear, and inspired you to create our wonderful circle of love & compassion for all who have lost a child ... And in some cases, children, and many other loved ones and friends. Congratulation to ALL Angel Moms who come and pray for others, even as they themselves are grieving!

As I told you long ago in a post: I have no idea how I ended up finding Beliefnet or your Shane's prayer circle, that night long ago, but I do know [Now], that God directed my path and made sure I found it; at a time when I needed it desperately!!!

And, as I have often said, "Isn't God wonderful!" And, as you have often said, "Our God is awesome!" And, as we ANGEL MOMS continue on our journey, supporting each other through prayer and sharing our painful valley day experiences, due to the lost of our beloved children, we are strengthened, and learn how to go on in what we angel moms refer to as {In a different manner}. Meaning: We go on, slowly, and at our own pace ... One minute, one hour, one day at a time!

"To God, be the glory!" A very, very special THANK YOU!!! To Beliefnet for profiling our circle of love!


And, wouldn't you know I am probably the last angel mom to hear the Fantastic news!!! Me ... The [night owl of our Angel Mom of our circle! After a very full day, and visit to my [No nonsense doctor ... :) I followed doctor's orders AND Angel Mom's orders, by taking my meds, staying offline, and I retired early! Now, ... After learning about all the publicity about our prayer circle of love ... {THIS MORNING!} ... I may NEVER sleep again!!! Lol, [Just kidding ...I hope!] :) God willing, I'm sharing this Beliefnet Page with The Shreveport Times Editorial Page Editors if I can get the computer to obey just a little bit longer!



"We Angel Moms LOVE YOU Beliefnet STAFF!!!"
"You do God, & All Angel Moms PROUD!" :)
To God be the Glory!!!

My sister, Selva ... Talk about A SIGN!!! :)

God's peace and blessings to ALL!!!

LOVE2U ~
Verna


shaner
12/9/2003 17:01

Hello PeleMa, and a very big warm welcome to you too at this Circle of Love. It never get's easier does it, even after 5 years, it's still painful for you, and you put on that 'mask' that we all know of so well, not for us, but for other's. I'm very sorry to read of your own loss of your precious son, and our prayers go out to your dear daughter and grandchild, and to you too, with our love and support. Please post back again, together we can help each other, especially the newly bereaved Moms who are just starting on their own Journey's.
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


SELVAM
12/9/2003 19:08

Hi Mankindhelper, Pelema, Karbar, Chayward, Welcome to this Circle of Love, please be sure that you will find understanding, prayers, love, no judgement, like our Angel in Chief Sandy said in the article, this is a circle full of Love, my only daughter Graduated from this Earth Aug 15, 2002, I am still new at this , but Thanks to all my Angel sisters here at this Cricle, I have been able to survive, I thank God everyday for taking me to this Circle of Love, I don't even know how I got here, but I have stayed, this is the only place that I find Peace, Love and Prayers, what else can you aske for?. Welcome our dear sister and I hope you will keep coming back here. Love Selva


SELVAM
12/9/2003 19:21

Hi my sister Lisa, yes Christmas its tough, you know, the day after Thanksgiving Solange will nag me to go and get the Xmas tree, we will go together and pick up a nice one (In Miami that is difficult) then she will be the one who ornated it, we will get into arguments about the trimings, I had this nice white pigeons and red apples that I always wanted to put up, slowly she will eliminated it (too old), then we will get into big balls at the botton and small ones on the top, she did not care about that, I remember the last Christmas she bought a beautiful Angel to top the tree, it was one with (can not remember the word the little things that will light no matter what? optical or whatwver little fibers) and it was so beautiful! But now I can not bring myself to put a Christmas tree or even celebrating Christmas, I will not, not yet, I will always give her money lately (because my choice of clothes etc were too old fashioned) but I always got a Teddy Bear holding the envelope, I always got the Teddy Bears with the year at the foot, the last one was 2001, she never celebrated 2002. Wow I just wish I could go to sleep and wake up in Feb 2004 or in Heaven. Love you my sister. Selva


SELVAM
12/9/2003 19:27

Hi my dear sister Verna. The night owl, but never too late, yes we are all very happy and proud of our Angel in Chief Sandy, God is looking after her and also after all of us thanks to her. Can you imagine, you on the Web and also Sandy, I feel privilaged, that I am part of this Circle of Love. I'm still in deep valley days but this has helped me a great lot. Love you my sisters. Selva


shaner
12/9/2003 22:51

Hi dear Lisa, your memories of Christmas sound a lot like my own, I guess because we have 2 boys, and oh, those early morning hours too, they were always so excited and would come and wake us up, even though we had a tradition that they were allowed to open one gift Christmas Eve. Gosh, to relive those days, revisit those memories, I tell my sis all the time to savour every moment with my little niece, she's 3 now, because before you know it, they're grown, and some of the 'magic' is gone from Christmas, or in our cases, a lot of the 'spirit' is gone too. We celebrate Christmas differently now, so many of the traditions that brought Joy now bring pain, so we changed them. The first year without Shane, there was no Christmas. The second year, we put a tree up, for Chris's sake, not our's, we didn't want anything to do with it again. Last year was the first real year that we celebrated in our own way, house decorated, tree up, carols playing on the Stereo, and the start of our new tradition of lighting a special candle at the dinner table in honour of Shane, our way of 'including' him in our family Christmas.
This is only your 2nd Christmas without Aaron being there, God love you. It's still a very painful time, and on top of that, you have Christmas to deal with. I can truly understand how putting your tree up this year, with the way it used to be with the boy's handmade ornaments would bring back a rush of memories for you, and make you want to scream out in pain. I believe that Christmas is THE hardest Holiday for us to deal with. All around us are 'signs' of the Joy of Christmas, and I don't mean in the spiritual sense, I mean in the commercial. We're bombarded with the way Christmas SHOULD be, happy, laughing families, lots of presents under a perfect tree, kids excited waiting for Santa, well, all the things we used to love ourselves about the Season. But not now. I'm glad you were able to cry, and let some of it out. I so wish I could have been there for you to hug you and let you scream out your anger, there are so many times I wish there wasn't such a distance between us all, so we could physically be there for each other. You know you have our love and support, prayers, as does Selva. Just please keep posting about the pain, and letting it out, and always know we're here for you, we love you.
Much love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

 
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