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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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shaner
8/16/2001 12:25

Reyna, I am so happy and humbled that my words to you helped in whatever way. Gosh yes, by all means, if you will feel better talking with the hospital staff and trying to understand how this happened, then by all means do so, it will certainly help you come to terms with it. Reyna the pain will be bad for a while, as I said, you are newly bereaved, so I pray that you have good support, people to talk to, and of course you can always post here, that's what this Circle is for, we are all helping each other! Thank you for your prayers, we all need them and know you are in ours! God bless you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
8/16/2001 12:39

Hello Mary! I am happy also that someone sent you this Circle, I do hope that our words do offer some comfort to moms, and I'm certain you were guided here by God, He does look after us grieving moms so lovingly!
I have said the very exact thing myself, If I can survive the loss of my Shane, then I can survive anything, because I didn't think I would or could surivive it during that awful 1st year and now into the 2nd. It is only through God's love and prayers that I have, and even though I miss him terribly and always will, I know I can count on God during the rough days.
Gosh yes, Holidays, Anniversaries, etc., are the worst times, we never celebrate them the same again, do we. So our prayers will be with you on the 20th, as you remember your child's birthday, just as they are always to all moms who post here, yourself included. And thank you for putting all of us in your daily prayers, that is a blessing to us! I believe God works through all of us if we let Him. So yes, all Praise goes to Him, even in our darkest hours of grief, He never leaves us and is always there, feeling our pain also. Thank you for your wonderful post, and may all moms here feel some peace today. God bless you,
Luv Sandy


bootsie
8/17/2001 07:54

My son, Chris died suddenly on August 24, 1998 and I am having such a hard time accepting Gods will. August is a hard month for me of course. Chris was 33 and had sole custody of his 11 year old daughter since her birth. Please help me to understand why I can not get peace about this. It is going on three years and I know I should be peaceful by now, but I am not. Please help me. When you love someone so much, it is not easy to hand him over to God I know God loves him. Help me to come to some kind of terms with this, please. I have tried by myself and it is not working. Thank you all


shaner
8/17/2001 13:34

bootsie, my heart goes out to you. I think perhaps you are feeling vulnerable right now, with Chris's Anniversary coming up, these days are so hard on us all. You have to be there for your grandaughter, she must be such a comfort to you. I hope you have people around you that you can talk to, caring people who will listen to you as you talk about your Chris and the peace you want, and the pain you're feeling. We have to talk about our losses, how it's affected us, because it's the only way to let the pain out and slowly begin the healing process, which in some cases takes a lot of time. Talk to a good friend, a family member, your Clergy, or a Bereavment Support Group. It's very, very difficult to go this alone, we all need help. You know that love never dies, and when it's your turn, you will be reunited with your beloved Chris again. You know your Chris loves you and would not want his beloved mom to be in such pain. I strongly suggest you join a Support Group, there you can safely pour out your pain and your feelings, and you will meet other mom's who are going through the exact same thing as you. The support group that I attend is a God-send to myself and my husband. It's also important to keep yourself busy, whether it be working, volunteering or having a hobby you enjoy. I am not a trained Bereavement Counsellor, just another mom like yourself who struggles with the loss of a beloved child. But I do find the things I suggested to you to be of help to me. What we can do for you here is one of the most powerful things I know, and that is to pray for you, and especially for peace of mind for you. And perhaps some other moms will post and have some suggestions that have helped them. But know you're in our prayers and I pray that the peace of Our Lord wrap around you and help you on your journey. And please post here whenever you feel like it, we always listen. May God bless you,
Luv Sandy


JEANIEBB
8/17/2001 18:08

Dear Shaner, May God be with you and yours during this ordeal. It will never
get better, but it will become accepta-
ble that this is Gods will. It does ease knowing that we do go "home" at Gods will, not ours. We have the memories of the lossed loved ones and we
revell in the time we shared with them here on earth. Now all we need do is wait til we share a better life with them when we are called home. I have 9
children God blessed me with, and He called 4 home. Today is the aniversary of my son, who was called home at 28. I
know I will see him again, and his brothers when He calls me home. The dates are hard when they come around, let the tears flow freely and know your not alone.I too, share your pain and wish you comfort in God and His love.


JEANIEBB
8/17/2001 18:18

Bootsie, you will never again like the month of August because of your loss. Its ok to have the raw feelings just because 3 years have passed. They will scab over, the pain will remain, the loss severe, but you will again meet. Let this child of his know of your son and teach her to grow in His name. My sons were taken at the ages of 2mo., 1 mo. and birth, and the last one at 28. I will be with them again. Thats what I
need to hold onto. I will live knowing they see Mom, and live accordingly to make them proud of me. You will get through this, pray, and give your pain to the Lord. He knows, He cares. Your pain is real, and is shared, by many.


shaner
8/18/2001 08:16

Hello JEANIEBB, and thank you for posting here. My prayers and thoughts go out to you on your son's Anniversary. And I'm so sorry to read of the loss of your children. You've endured many heartaches. But we all rest in the knowledge that we will one day be reunited with our beloved children and until then, live the best life possible so they and Our Lord especially will be proud of us. Thank you for your prayers and kind words and know that you too will be prayed for here. May God bless you.
Luv Sandy


hon25hon
8/18/2001 09:23

shaner-I to know your lost,I lost my son(first born) Michael due to a drowning while we were on vacation last year. His first year anniversary is coming up on August 21st. If I didn"t have such faith in GOD I and my family would never have gotten threw this year.To know I will see him again is what keeps me going.My prayers and thoughts are with you and all who have lost a child,the worst pain in life to bear. Mary


shaner
8/19/2001 08:52

Hello Mary, I'm so sorry to hear about your son. What a terrible tragedy. You must be feeling so sad with Michael's 1st Anniversary coming up in a couple of days! But I'm happy that your faith is strong and as hard as the day will be, Our Heavenly Father will get you through it! Yes, it is the worst pain in life to bear. But we do rest with the knowledge we will one day see them again. Our prayers and thoughts are also with you Mary, may God bless you.
Luv Sandy


olilea
8/20/2001 16:37

Lord our Father, help us to always remember your love and compassion for those who believe in you, and keep us ever mindful that death and sufering on this earth could never compare to the live and love you have to offer us in Heaven. Pour your love onto us that our cups may overflow onto others, and let all things be done not according to the will of man, but according to the will of God. In Jesus Holy name, Amen.


destin4ever
8/20/2001 21:50

My prayers are with each of you in the lost of your children,I to lost my youngest daughter may 23 2000 ,as she waited for her bus a boy on THC and trying to scare the kids as they waited for the bus lost control of his truck hitting a speed limit sign going into a private yard ,hitting a tree, my daughter and another tree before he came to a stop.He suffered no injuries,but my daughter died 3 hours later from the injuries that she received. She was less than a block from her home.Depression and pain
is a everyday thing.I keep on going because that's what she would've wanted but it's not what I want .May God continue to help us get up in the morning. Losing a child is the absolute worst of them all.

Leaning on God
Have a Blessed Day
maria


shaner
8/21/2001 12:31

olilea, thank you so much for your beautiful prayer, it's very eloquent and so very true! God bless you for posting here and I know God's graces will be given to you for your loving prayer to us all.
Luv Sandy


shaner
8/21/2001 12:44

destin4ever, I'm so sorry to hear of you loss of your beloved daughter, so senseless. Yes, depression is a big problem for a lot of us, so if need be, talk it over with your Dr. Losing a child is far and beyond the worst pain a parent can feel, anyone on these pages myself included would agree to that. But with God's help we can get up each day, keep going and living our own lives, because as you say, our children would want us to do that. Sometimes it's very hard, and that's when I call on Our Lord to be by my side and help me through a bad day. I pray that you have good people around you to talk to, and our thoughts and prayers go out to you as you travel this Journey. Pray often and know that you will be prayed for. May God in His goodness wrap His arms around you and give you comfort and some peace.
Luv Sandy


dorothyjeancone
8/21/2001 19:23

my prayers go out to everyone whom have lost children.i know it is hard to go on but with GODS help and the prayers of others you will be able to continue on.may god bless each and everyone of you is my prayers.dot


kellismom
8/21/2001 20:19

I lost my 13 year old daughter Kelli on June9,2000 in a car accident. I know that prayers are what get me out of bed every morning but I still feel the rawness of that day everyday. I think that the shock is now wearing off and reality is now setting in. Is this how you felt? I will pray for your family along with all the others of this group that noone wanted to join. May God be with you everyday, kellismom.


shaner
8/22/2001 13:20

Hello kellismom, you're so very right, we all belong to a 'club' that we never wanted membership in, but there is strength in numbers and strength in prayers, and I know firsthand how powerful prayer can be and how it gets us moms through another day. I'm so sorry to hear about your wonderful Kelli. Yes, you're just coming out of the 1st year which is spent in disbelief, shock and numbness - and a lot of pain. But the 2nd year can be harder, because that's when reality sets in and you have to face the fact that your beloved child is gone. So yes, that's the way it is for me and a lot of other moms, who are facing that same reality as you. It's rough also and of course well-meaning people think that by the 2nd year that you're on the mend, and your grief has been resolved, when we all know it hasn't. So I also pray that you have people to talk to, people to support you, and pray to Our Heavenly Father, He knows exactly how we feel and will help us, for He loves us so much. Thank you for your prayers and know that you will be prayed for too, God bless you, and please post here whenever you feel like it, it's good to have an outlet.
Luv Sandy


shaner
8/22/2001 13:26

dorothyjeancone, thank you so much for taking the time to post your prayers and thoughts here, we appreciate them so much and God will bless you for reaching out to others. It's very hard to go on sometimes, but with God's help we know we will make it, along with prayers of others. May God bless you too.
Luv Sandy


jeaniebb
8/23/2001 15:44

Shaner, Thank you for your response to me. I have lukemia and I am blind, so it may take awhile for me to respond back. I go to see more specialists monday to try and get my sight back. I am so sorry to read so many broken hearts. All, that I am read will be in my prayers. God does things in his own time not ours, and he will have the final say in our lives. Jesus died to give us life again, and we will be reunited with our children if only we believe. Hold on to that because the devil plays with our pain and decieves us,and Jesus will pull us through. Jesus, in all your holy glory, I pray that You touch these aching mothers and give them the strength that You had on the cross for Your Own Heavenly Father. I pray that You will show them that this is only temporary and the final say is yet to be heard. It is Your will and Your time Father that we are all called home. Bless these mothers Father
and heal their hearts. Enter in where pain dwells and ease us our frustrations. Help us see you are the way. In Jesus`s Holy Name I pray, Amen


jeaniebb
8/23/2001 15:56

Kids1st, I will pray for you and your broken hearts, but remember Father hears your cries, even your silent ones
and He will again bring a peace to your life. Do not let the devil gain on your
loss and fail to find your inner peace, for he looks for this and he thrives upon making us miserable. Tell it to God
He`ll listen, He`ll do it in His time, but He will do it. You must do your part
and believe. You haven`t lost her, He loaned her for a while to brighten your life and she did exactly that. Then Father called her home. She`s with the Creator, how happy can we be ? We suffer an empty part in our lives when there not there on a daily basis, but oh the glory they have now for giving us that time they were here. How blessed we were! Believe, just believe.
My prayers will be said asking for your
faith to remain strong and lead another
back. Luv, Jeaniebb


shaner
8/24/2001 14:20

jeaniebb, I am so sorry to hear of your illness and loss of your sight. It must be so difficult on you! Stay strong in your faith and know that Our Heavenly Father is with you every step of the way. I pray that He puts the right Doctors and Specialists in your path, and your health is once again restored. Thank you for all your prayers and know that you're in ours.
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
8/26/2001 02:16

I am a new member. My heart goes out to each and every one of you who have lost a child. I've been there, Therefore, I have a good idea of what each of you are going through. I lost my precious daughter, Beverly "Diane" Clay, on August 31, 1996. (Please see her memorial)She was killed suddenly and without warning in a chain reaction wreck which involved 2 cars, 2 pickup trucks, and drunk driving. When I first heard the news, I wanted nothing more than to die! Today, almost 5 years later,I still grieve for my daughter;but the pain in my heart has become easier to bear. The thing that has helped me the most has been the help and encouragement I have received from God and the prayers of those whom God has sent into my life to encourage me during the times when I thought I no longer wanted to live. Fortunately, I found out that it wasn't that I wanted to die. What I really wanted, was to STOP THE PAIN! Once I began to understand this,my desire and the efforts I have made to reach out to others who are just beginning to know this kind of pain, has actually help me to continue to progress in my own efforts to survive. Had it not been for God, the Holy Spirit, and the support and prayers of others, I doubt that I would even be here today. I believe there is a spiritual and universal chain reaction that exits among parents who have lost child. Here's why:
Three months before my daughter was killed, God, by way of the Holy Spirit, gave me several poems to write. The title of the last poem was, "Chain Reaction" Recalling the words of that poem has helped me in my efforts to move beyond the unbearable grief and pain, also. In addition to my heartfelt prayers for each and every parent who has lost a child,I offer the words of this poem with the hope that they will help each of you on this never ending road to survive:
~Chain Reaction~
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep
When to life's trials I see no end
Just when it seems that no one cares
God says to me, "I'll be your friend."
Sometimes I feel life is not worth living~I get tired of trying~I don't want to go on! Just when I've almost given up~God steps right in and makes me strong!~And uses me,to help someone~Who just can't bear their cross alone~When to life's trials~they see no end~I say to them, "I'll be your friend!"

To me, the meaning is clear. That is; when God provides the encouragement we need during the storms of life, we must reach out to others during their time of need! This prayer circle, in loving memory of your precious child, is such a beautiful way of doing just that! :) Thank you, and may God continue to bless you for sharing, and giving others a chance to reach out and share, also. My prayers are with each and every one of you who have taken the time to reach out to others who, like you, have lost their precious child. God Bless!


LOVE2U
8/26/2001 02:39

While still on line, I would like to ask for prayers for my sister-in-law,her children and grandchildren,and the rest of my family. We have suffered two deaths in our family in less than two months! First, my brother,then his daughter.(Please see memorials,also: Charles Coleman and Veronica Coleman. I cannot imagine losing a spouse and a child so very close together! This was my only brother left and learning of his death has shattered my heart! This daughter; one of five children,also my namesake, although I had not seen her for a number of years. But still, I know in my heart that the pain and loss my sister-in-law is feeling has to be so much greater than anyone can imagine! So I ask that all would send in a special prayer for her and the children and grandchildren. Thank you all so much! God Bless!


BDittman
8/26/2001 08:46

My heart goes out to anyone that has lost a child. I lost my son Michael almost six years ago he was born still born and I lost my Daughter Ellen 4 Years ago and she too was born stillborn. Im just now learning that you can never understand why theses things happen. but you do learn to move on in a different way. May God bless you all and give you peace.


shaner
8/26/2001 13:11

LOVE2U, First of all welcome and secondly, I'm so sorry to hear about your own beloved daughter. I'm so happy that God put the right people in your path through your intense grieving process, you're absolutely right, we want to die also because we want the pain to end. And oh what a pain it is! But, like you, and many others here I'm certain, our prayers and those of others helped us through and continue to help us through this Journey we're on, Our Heavenly Father is so good to us. Yes, in retrospect, I wanted to die also and be with my son, the pain was so unbearable, but it's the pain we want to stop really, not our own lives. We learn day by day, one day at a time, to come to terms with this, and to reach out and learn how to live with it. Reaching out to others is a good way to help you cope, but only when you're ready. You have to let the natural grief process take place first. We will always grieve for our children, and in time we will find great comfort doing for others, in honour of our child's spirit and the life that they lived. But it takes time. Everybody grieves at their own time and in their own way. And we honour that.
Your poem is so beautiful! And gives everyone such hope! Thank you so much for posting it and sharing it here. Thank you for your kind words and prayers, we all need them. And your post, even in your own loss, you have reached out to others also. God bless you for that. It gives hope to all.
I am so sorry for your sister-in-law, losing not only her husband but also her daughter. She must be in so much pain right now, but I know you will be such a comfort to her. My condolences also for the loss of your brother and niece. They will be prayed for here as well as yourself. May the peace of Our Lord be with you and your family as you all go through this awful time. God bless you,
Luv Sandy

 
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