Prayer Circles

Hi dear Carolyn39, and welcome to the Circle! I'm so sorry that you've also lost a precious child, your only child, your sweet daughter, only 16. It never really goes away, does it, but we learn how to live with it eventually. Yes, I agree wholeheartedly, without leaning heavily on Our Lord, I would never have made it this far myself, and the prayers of many helped me tremendously also. Yes, keeping the faith, resting on Our Lord when we are weary and so sad, and taking it day by day help so much during the painful loss of a beloved child. Thank you for your prayers, we truly appreciate them, and know that you will be prayed for too. Please post back whenever you wish to, this is a Circle of Love and support, prayers. May Our Heavely Father bless you and help you on your own Journey,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

When my beloved 16 year old daughter, Katie, died on June 29, 2003, my ex-husband and I, who rarely agreed on anything, agreed to organ donation. Only since my Katie's death, have I declared myself an Organ Donor on my driver's license. There are so many, many people clinging so desperately to the hope of life, that it really moved me. My daughter Katie was my most important & significant connection in my life and, without her, my life seems to have no meaning or purpose. I would SO love to exchange my life to save so many others. I have to wonder how many lives could be saved/improved by the donation of all the organs of one person? In actuality, I got myself involuntarily locked up in a psychiatric ward just for expressing this thought! What an experience! A real "first" for me! How degradingly those people are treated. Of course, I was released as soon as an actual psychiatrist interviewed me, but to think that one could be held against one's will for expressing a very NORMAL sentiment after the death of a beloved child. I have no life partner, no other close connection with my 2 sons, no prior experience with death (both of my parents, in their 80s, are still alive & well, living independently). While my family of origin is very loving & supportive, they are not a part of my daily life. My other family is not only supportive, but destructive. Truly, I WISH that I could give my whole life that others, who wish to go on living, could have that opportunity. WHAT is wrong with that? I want to be with my daughter. Given my life circumstances, I really have no desire to continue to live. It pains me to think of all of those who so desperately want their lives to be saved, and, yet, I can't help them because I wouldn't be allowed to. Not only would I not be allowed to, but, as I found out, I could even be locked up, held against my will, merely for expressing my wishes. I must say that there is NO HELL worse than the "life sentence" that I received after my daughter's "death sentence".

Hello dear suelovedkatie, and a warm welcome to this Circle, I'm just very sorry for the reason you are here. You've just recently lost your precious Katie, your pain and grief are so fresh and raw right now. There is no worse pain for a parent than to lose a child or children. It rips a part of your heart away, and leaves you with a gaping hole. Your feelings of wanting to be with Katie, dying yourself, are so normal, I don't think there's a Mom on any of these pages who hasn't experienced that phase, myself included.
When my son Shane passed away, I would pray every night for God to take me home too. I deliberately neglected my own health, hoping to speed it up. If I had told a Psychiatrist all this, I would have been certified also, they definitely would have thought I was suicidal. And indirectly I was. I wouldn't take my own life, for fear I wouldn't be with my Shane, as silly as that sounds, but I sure didn't want to live either, the pain and separation were too much to bear. I understand how you feel, we all do. Thankfully God ignored my prayers, and although it will soon be 5 yrs. for me, there isn't a day that goes by that Shane isn't on my mind. BUT, I have learned how to live with this, and can laugh and smile, and enjoy life again, but in a different way. You won't believe me right now, I don't blame you, but trust me, one day you will feel like living again, and you will enjoy life. It's the pain that makes us feel that way, and the terrible longing of not having our child's physical presence in our lives anymore. BUT it does get better.
Give yourself plenty of time, it's just happened for you, you're still in the deep grief and pain stage.
How truly wonderful that your Katie has helped others, and lives on in them, giving them a new lease on life! What a wonderful, selfless gift she has given to others, thanks to you and your ex-husband! Oh, sweetie, I can feel your pain right through your post, and I'm so sorry you don't have a lot of support. It's too lonely a Journey to go it alone. Please post here anytime, this is a safe place to express your feelings. You will never be judged, only loved, understood, supported, prayed for, we can all relate to what you're going through. We will walk beside you on your Journey if you'll let us, and we'll encircle you with our love and support. If you like, you can write me personally at sewhalen@yahoo.com - remember, love never dies, it's Eternal, so the love you shared with Katie, and the love she shared with you is still there, a strong bond that can never be broken! May Our Lord wrap you in His loving arms and give you some peace,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hello dear Angel Moms, today's highlighted Prayer on Beliefnet comes from this Circle! It was posted shortly after I started this Circle, by member anacleo, and here it is, a very beautiful, inspirational prayer:

Prayer for Bereaved Parents


God, you sacrificed your son so that we and our children would transcend physical death. We know that you grieved when he was crucified and that you grieve over all the atrocities done by men -- especially in your name. You know and understand grief as you know and understand all. You know best how to comfort these parents. Lift their hearts up to you and fill them with your peace. Your understanding is beyond our human comprehension, but give them the knowledge and faith to endure even that which they can't understand. Let them be aware of you always God, and help them to remember that your Love is Life than can never really be taken away.

Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy


- Beliefnet member anacleo7

My family has lost a good friend seems thats has been going of for a while and my son just cant understand why God takes people he loves and I ask for everyone to pray for him that God will show him that everyone is nto to live and it is nothing he has done he is so down so please pray for him

Hi SuelovedKatie and welcome to this Circle of Love. I know how much your are hurting, we all know that pain, I lost my only daughter Solange Aug 15 2002 at the age of 20, she was all I lived for, I also though about taking my life as a matter of fact I think of it once in a while, but I believe my daughter does not want me to do that, neither does God, we are here for a reason even though we don't understand it. My daughter was also an Organ Donor, she saved many lifes, so will I when God decides that is my turn. God will help us go through this painful journey , the pain never goes away, but like the other Angel Mothers from the Circle says, it will get a little easier to handle. Please let all your feelings out and cry all you need and please come here often, you will find a lot of understanding, love and help to your pains, anger and broken heart, we all know about it. I have very little family but is here in this Circle of Love that I have found a great family.God Bless you and help you. Love Selva

Hello angeleyes43,
Yes, we'll remember your son in our prayers, it's so hard for children to understand death, it's hard for ADULTS sometimes to understand it too. So keep talking to him, reassuring him, and we will remember him in our prayers.
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

I would like to say a special prayer for my mother and father in law and my my mom and her husband today they are spending the week together and I just pray that Jeskus would bless there time together. Also I spoke to my Aunt this weekend her name is Helen she will be joining our circle soon. Thank you Sandy for your continued prayers you are a source of strength and encouragement. Prayers, Love and Hugs. Vicki

Hi dear Vicki,
That's terrific that your in-laws and your Mom & hubby are getting together for a week, I join you in pray, that Jesus will bless their week together, and it will be a memorable one for all of them! Oh, that's wonderful that your Aunt Helen will be joining the Circle too, you know we'll welcome her with open arms and look forward to meeting her. May God bless you mightily dear one, and thank YOU for your continued support and prayers,
Love & {{Angel Hugs}}
Sandy

Hi Carolyn39. Yes we understand the pain, we are all here together in this and we pray for one another, welcome to the Circle of Love and please keep on coming back, we will pray for you . Hi Vicki, may God Bless you, and yes we will all pray for you mom and in laws, and please tell your Aun Helen she will be very welcome here and she will find lots of love and understanding.
Sandy my dear sister, well The Marlins won the World Series, Miami its rocking, they came through from nowhere and the won, "to the best" and in their own field, tomorrow they are going to have a Parade, I asked Solange to give me a sign if she wanted me to go to the parade, and when I went to her memorial I read a message from one of Solange's best friend, it was 1997 when we won the world series and I was trying to get them out of school (shame on me) to go to the parade, and they did. So I think I will be there for just a little time, for Solange, and I will scream my heart out, these kids really deserve it. Another day and then another day, you know what I mean. Verna I know you should be home by now, I hope James had set you up with the voice attachment, we need you in OPRAH, remember what I said, I will make sure you will be there even if I have to travel to her show, Donna I am very worried about you, you are keeping very quiet, I pray hat Shar is doing well. Well all my sisters, Lisa, Eva, Donna, Sandy, Verna, Yvonne, and all of you, lets keep this Circle ALIVE, we need to hear from all of you. Love you ALL.SELVA

Hi my sister, YES, the Marlins won, if you bet on the Series, you're a rich woman right now, ha, ha! Oh, I bet Miami is rockin', and tomorrow at the Parade, the streets will be filled, to see the hometown team. It'll probably be in the newspapers! You go my sister, Solange will be there waiting for you, cheer your lungs out, and yes, I understand, another day, and then another day. Stay just for a little, 15 minutes as you said, and then tomorrow I want to hear all about it!!
YES, I don't know where everybody is either, guess we're going to have to get after them, my sister, love ya,
Hugs too,
Sandy

Dear Angel Moms, ~ I'm back in Louisiana!!! :) Gosh, it feels so good to be back home! We were dearly missed!:) Will send an email update just as soon as possible. I've already started on it, but can do only a little typing presently. The nerves in my fingers are all messes up again. I have the gadget; James is going to try to get it attached sometime tomorrow. Let's pray that it works for me! :) Selva, you were right, I've over done, and now must give the physical therapy a chance to work. All are in my prayers & love, & I know I'm in yours! A warm hello to our new angel moms, whom I have included in my heart felt prayers!
Love & Angel Hugs to all, along with God's peace & blessings.
Verna

San & Selva, your posts to our new {{Angel Moms}} really touched my heart. God bless yiu both, and keep up the good work you're doing for our Lord & Savior who loves all angel moms so much, and, as we know, He is always there for us to lean on! I just wanted the two of you to know that, "You do Shane & Solange PROUD!" :)
LOVE2U

Hi Miss V, great to have you back! I know your hubby, Rue, James and grandsons must be so happy that you've returned back home, were you getting too used to that California sunshine, ha, ha! Received your Hugs letter this morning, but you've got problems with AOL again - yep, uh-oh. Twice I tried replying to you, and it was sent back with this following error message:

... while talking to air-xa02.mail.aol.com.:
>>> RCPT To:
<<< 550 vclay100 IS NOT ACCEPTING MAIL FROM THIS SENDER
550 ... User unknown

So you'll have to unblock me again - I'm not a spammer, ha, ha! That's terrific that James is going to hook up the voice adapter, then you can send messages, etc., and it won't bother your hands in the least!!
Anyway, happy you're back, we missed ya too!
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

To all who have lost a child. My deepest prayers go out to you. I don't know how I could possibly bare to loose one of my children but I imagine it would be the ultimate loss. I know that God has them and is holding them tight and loves them beyond our thought. I too thought just this weekend I had lost my 15 year old daughter Nicole. She is going thru her teenage years, struggling with everything that is going on around her. She now lives with her father because she didn't want to live with my rules and told me she'd rather live with her Dad. Long story. On Friday, Oct.24,03 I rec'd a phone call from her father saying Nicole pulled her stunt again. She didn't come home after school. She probibly will say she missed the bus. That was 5Pm. I said, ok just bring her over when she gets home. Well, I see her just about every weekend but with these fires here in So. Calif., he wasnt sure he'd be able to get here. I said then don't worry about it. That was that. Saturday A.M., I woke up @ my normal time 7:am and was making coffee. My current husband and son were still in bed. My girlfriend called @8:pm to invite us over to breakfast. I excepted. Right after I hung up the phone, it rang and I never thought I would hear these words. It was my X-husband, crying and saying "she never came home last night" and I said what "Nicole never came home last night". I immediately started crying and yelling "God, no". Long, very long story, but this had been the longest weekend of my life. Police couldn't do anything, and said they have her on record and will keep their eyes and ears open, so because of all these fires, I couldn't get to where they live. So her dad and his fiance had to go looking for her. Day and night and night and day. I was beyond a point where I thought I could not breath. Well, there is so much to this story, but I had that awful feeling that someone took my daughter or because she has epilepsy maybe a seizure somewhere and nobody could find her, or what. Well, turns out she ran away from home. She is back now. Thank the God above. My miracle came thru. But after speaking with her I discovered she is so confused, upset and yet you could never really tell. She is not into drugs, sex, or anything like that (thank God), but she has some parenting issues with her father. She wants to live with me,but doesn't want to attend school where I live. We have a lot to work on. I am just so blessed to have her home. I also am one of those parents who said, my daughter would never run away, she has too many people who love her and support her and she just would do anything like that. She did though. I am just so thankful that I rec'd another chance with her. I am so sorry for all the pain you all must feel. I had a sudden touch of it and I was just broken. I pray that God will guide you all thru this painful time and help you to know that your children are in God's hands. God Bless you all and thanks for listening.

Hi ibelieve67, Thank you so much for your prayers, yes this is the ultimate pain anybody can bear, I Thank God that you were ble to find Nicole, what terrible moments for you and her dad to live, but Thank God that she is safe, have you tried to attend Family counseling, that helps a lot when the young people are having so many issues that they can not handle it because of their tender age, they are not bad kids, it comes with the age, I lost my only daughter Solange , when she was 20 years old in a car accident, she too went through her tantrums etc when she was younger, but they overcome all that, of course with a little professional help it makes it easier for them. Thanks again for your kind words and Thank God again for finding your Nicole. Selva

Hello ibelieve, thank you so much for your prayers, we so appreciate it when someone who hasn't lost a child goes out of their way to post here and offer prayers and support, God bless you. Yes, as Selva said, losing a child is the worst pain a parent will ever experience, and it's something you never quite get over.
Oh gosh, sweetie, you must have been going out of your mind with worry, and your ex too! Praise God that your Nicole was found safe and sound! Yep, I agree with Selva, we lost our youngest Shane, at the age of 24, and we have another son Chris, who is now 31, they were good boys, but normal teenagers, and went through the phases that teens do. Young people today have so many pressures and stresses on them that we didn't have growing up, it's such a different world out there today for them. I'll say a prayer for you, Nicole and family, that everything will be worked out, and as Selva suggested, maybe looking into some type of family Counselling might just help too. May Our Lord wrap you all in His loving arms, and see you through this. May God bless you all, sweetie, and thanks again for posting, and hey, it was a joy to listen to you, I know things will work out!!
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hello to all the Angel moms and new angel moms. I haven't posted lately because my computer has been down and I really haven't felt like getting it fixed. I am at my office right now using theirs. Southern Indiana has lost there third 16 year old in the last 3 months. It has been horrible here. My son Nicholas and two girls. I don't understand what is happening. Now I got word that a good friend of ours had a seizure and fell on top of his three month old son and they don't know if the baby is going to make it because he sufficated it. So we are all praying for them. It seems that everytime I start to feel a little better something tracigaly happens. I went to Atlanta Georgia last weeked and saw James Van Praagh. It was pretty interesting. he did speak with a family that had lost there son in a car accident but it seemed that everything he was saying was for me about Nick, this couple really didn't connect with everything James was saying. But I didn't go with high hopes and just went and listened. I will try to come and visit often but without a computer it is hard.
Thanks for listening and lots of prayers to all.
Billie

Hi Billie, I am so sorry about all those young people going to Heaven, believe me it is not only in Southern Indiana, I live in Miami and this is a constant thing going on here too, I am so sorry about your friend going through a seizure, I will pray for the little Angel and also for your friend, that is a horrible thing for both of them, just hang in there my friend, that is what we all are trying to do, but remember one thing If God puts you through it He will pull you through it. You know James Van Praagh is coming to Miami (where I live) with Dr Brian Weiss in March 7, I have gone to workshops with Brian Weiss, Dr. Raymond Moddy and two mediums, and what they tell you is, just listen to the messages, maybe they are really for you, but with a lot of people they can not really comunicate with a single person, so I am sure if "you got the message" it was really for you. Keep on hanging and pressing on, and please fix your computer, this way you will keep on posting and we will keep on helping. Love Selva

Hi Everyone! ~ Still having problems with the hands so this will be short. Sandy, I hope you can get email through to me, now that I have gotten rid of over a thousand spam emails! I believe that was the problem, because now I am receiving email from all angel moms and family, so try sending again, and let me know (here) if the problem still exists. I miss hearing from you! :)
Selva, I just finished reading the news article! The reporter did a wonderful write up on the interview! I will keep a copy of it forever. Thanks so much for sharing it with us. As I love to say, "You do your beautiful Solange proud!" :) Also, Selva, the device did not work with my computer because my computer is so outdated. James finally got time to come by and connect it, but said I need to exchange it for one that will work. So I will take it back to office depot tomorrow if I feel well enough to go out. I didn't realize how tired out I was from my trip. :) The diabetes is a part of it, but wow, I feel so out of it! So, I try to rest a lot until whatever is happening with me wears out.
Yea, San, the hubby and Rue, and the rest of the family were really glad to have us back! When Rue brought my grandson by for the first time, he almost knocked her down trying to get to me to give me a big hug! :) And the hubby, has been smiling quite a bit lately. ha-ha! The kids teased him by telling me that he cried the whole time I was gone. We all had a good laugh over that one. :)
Selva,the name of the software that I bought is, Dragon Naturally Speaking 7 Standard. It has the headset and microphone. James wrote a note for me to take with me when I go to exchange it. The note says: This software is for 500 MHz [too high]. Need one that will work with 470 MHz and 191 MEG _ RAM ... (Which is all Greek to me!) So, maybe I will get the right on next time. And, don't worry ... I only typed a few sentences at a time, and saved until I finished this post. That way, I will do no harm to my hands. Again, I am so proud of you! Billie, and our other new angel moms ... Keep holding on to God, & Hang in there, and always remember you are loved and prayed for daily. As angel mom Eva reminds us; Keep pressing on!
Love & Angle Hugs,
Verna

Angel Moms, This one reminded me of our Guardian Angels, :) Here's Bob:

"I Believe in You!"
A message of Hope, stories from the road."
By Bob Perks
*******************************************************
Hello, my friend!

My goal is to send just three messages each week. Sometimes I fail.

But this week I am actually ahead of the game.

But I need to explain this one. Stories come to me from life and the people in it who bless me with their presence. But I was alone when this one hit. The thought of it was so overwhelming that I used my tape recorder to make immediate note of it all.

When I got home I sat down and it flowed onto my computer screen. I tried to save it to send tomorrow and something urged to send it off right away.

God knows why.

*******************************************************
Perks Pearl of Wisdom:
"Emptiness applies only to cups, bowls, and manmade containers. Your life could never be empty if it is filled with God." Bob Perks
All stories are copyrighted 2003 Bob Perks.
Today's Message:
"I thought of you today"
By Bob Perks
Bob@BobPerks.com

I thought of you today.

Yesterday's dark, rainy weather put me in a slump. Or perhaps I was there already and the weather just added to it all.

Yesterday was empty because I did not see you in it.

When I woke up today, my mind still dark and cloudy, I stumbled through my morning routine totally unaware that you would be there in my day ahead of me.

I headed for the countryside on a journey in search of something missing in my life.

Me.

How fantastically wonderful it all turned out to be. For while I was searching for me I found you again.

As the road turned, the view from high atop the mountain revealed the presence of Autumn.

"That's what I need, color!" I said out loud.

But as I scanned the forest and small country roads that twisted and turned through it below, I realized that the show was over. Fall had already made a quick retreat leaving behind empty trees and dark etched lines where there once was life.

Like life without you.

But wait! I can still remember how beautiful it was. The color of Autumn, the style of the Master's touch is such that sometimes the memory of it is even more beautiful than the moment you first lay eyes on it.

Just like you.

I realized that your magnificence, your awesome beauty and warmth has forever left me full. I cannot see color and not think of you. I cannot hear a symphony and not remember the tenderness of your voice. I cannot feel a breeze on a summer's day and not remember the warmth of your touch.

I thought of you today because I am alive and thus, so are you.

Without you by my side but forever in my heart.

I thought of you today and I will see you in tomorrow.

"I believe in you!"
Bob Perks
Bob@BobPerks.com
Copyright (c) 2003, Bob Perks. I encourage you to share my stories with your friends but, when copying I ask that you keep my name and contact information attached along with this notice. Use of this story for commercial purposes is prohibited without direct permission from the author.

Hi my Angel sisters. Thank you Sandy for sharing that beautiful poem with us that its so true, yes they are still alive, we can not see them but they are all there for us. I am going through valley days, on a day like today, my home will full of girls by this time, trying on costumes and deciding which one they will wear, they always chosed to be in costume with the same theme, always so cute, and of course I was there giving them "lectures", be careful, stay together, don't get into anybodys car etc etc, they always listened, (their own way) but never got into trouble. I hope you all got the e mail with the article from the newspaper, I re sent is because today it was no longer available, direct, they keep it for 7 days but you have to go directly into the newspaper's web. The columnist who wrote the article, e mailed me today and told me she was mailing me a newspaper , there you can see the pictures etc, and said she got lots and lots of e mails from readers. I am so proud of my daughter!. Love you Angel moms. Selva

Hello our dear Miss V! I haven't been online much in the last 2 days, we've been getting our apt. painted, so I wasn't able to send you any mail yet, but I'm sure that now that you've deleted all that SPAM, ha, ha, it should be OK. Oh, I betcha the family is happy to have you back, ah, your grandson really missed you, that's so sweet! And your hubby is a very happy man too, hm, is there a reason why he's smiling from ear to ear, ha, ha! I'm teasing ya, I know he missed you and he's happy along with Rue and all the family to have you back home - and so are we!! Hope you're able to get the proper device for your comp., it'll be so much easier on your hands. YES, when I read Bob's message I thought the same thing, so I'm happy you posted it here for all - in my opinion, whatever it's worth, ha, ha, everybody should read Bob's messages, what a terrific person he is, isn't he - not to mention his extrordinary talent at story-telling. That's my 2 cents, :-)
Lots of love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hi my dear sister, ah I know, even Holidays like Halloween bring back memories for us, and are painful when we remember happier times. It sounds as though Solange and her friends had a lot of fun, though, dressing up in a theme together, my memories take me back to when the boys were younger, and I or my husband would take them out trick or treating, (mostly treating) and the fun they had, and the joy we had seeing their little faces so happy.
It's over with now my dear sister, another Holiday come and gone, so I pray that your valley day will turn into a peaceful day for you tomorrow.
Well, you know I received it my sister, and I saved it of course, and read it to my hubby, who thought it was a very good story - and it is!! I told you that they would get lots of mail to the Editor about your story, I know it's touched many a heart out there, and it's because of Solange, you, and Don & Evelyn. And you know, this may even give the other fortunate recipients of your dear Solange's gifts to come forward now too, and say 'thank you'!
Don't forget to scan me the page, with the pictures on it when you receive it.
Love you my sister, and wishing for a 'sunshine' day for you tomorrow,
Lots of love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy

Hello Miss V, I still can't send you any mail, you've got me blocked, :-) You're missing out on a lot of very good forwards, ha, ha. j/k but wanted to let you know as you requested,
Love & Angel Hugs,
Sandy