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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

9/20/2003 15:10

Please pray for my brother Wayne and wife Lisa who lost identical twin baby girls born at 28 wks. on 8/22/03.

9/20/2003 17:41

Dear Englishrose1958 ~ I am so sorry to read about your brother Wayne and wife Lisa's loss of their precious identical twin baby girls. Their loss is so recent ... They must be in so much shock and pain. My daughter lost twins a little over a year ago, and I can tell you that it is a heart shattering loss. Please know that your brother, his wife, and your entire family will be prayed for here. It is so very, very important that both parents be allowed to grieve at their own pace, and in their own way. One of the worst things that can happen to grieving parents; especially moms, is to have someone tell them to move on with their lives after suffering the loss of a child or in the case of your brother and his wife, two precious babies. So, if possible, please inform others that comments like try to move on, or you can always try again, is not what a grieving parent needs to hear ... no matter how well intended. Comments such as: I am sorry about your loss is considered appropriate. Mainly, just try to be there for both parents, to listen, or help out in any way that you can. Also, it is important to note that men and women grieve differently. Most men/dads tend to grieve privately, while most moms, seem to feel better if we cry or talk about our loss. Please read over some of the back posts; especially Sandy's. Her comments and recommendations to the newly bereaved -- moms (mostly), I highly recommend. Other post submitted by our newly bereaved moms will be helpful also in that they will give you an idea of just how painful the loss of a child really is. Again, it is unlike any loss you have ever had to endure! Also, there is a book called: When Bad Things Happen to Good People, by Rabbi Harold Kushner that I highly recommend. He has an article on the home page here at Beliefnet, and you can order it from this site or pick one up at your local library. There are also many other good books and articles that help one to better understand the grieving process and different stages of grieving. Perhaps Deb, or some of the other angel moms will recommend a book or two when they post. Sandy, our chief angel Mom is taking a few days off, due to a recent death in her family, but she will respond to your post when she returns. Thank you so much for posting your prayer request for your brother and his wife. Again, you may be sure they will be prayed for here.
Love & Angel Hugs,

9/21/2003 02:37

Hello, thank all of you for all of your kind words and for the prayers.....God knows i need them. i will keep coming here when ever i can, because it has made me feel so much better just knowing there are people who really understand. i am the type of person that always talks about anything that is bothering me and this i could not talk about because it make people uncomfortable. which i do understand. the only problem is i have all these feelings that i could not talk about to anyone who could understand. i miss her so very much and i find myself thinking to call her and tell her something and then i realize i can't call her anymore. i will never kiss her again or hold her. or tell her how much i love her. you know people tell me that i can talk to her she is watching and can hear me, but i wonder. can she? is she really watching? i know she is with God because He told me that much. sometimes i want to ask Him could He just change His mind this one time and let me see her, let me kiss her one more time, tell her i love her one more time. and then there are the regrets. so many regrets... i miss my little girl. my son is at home with me has been since the accident. he told me today that he has got to leave on monday, new job. and then my friend who has been staying with me just found a place and she is moving out on the first of the month. and then i will be alone... i am alittle worried about being alone, my husband is a truck driver and is only home once or twice a month. i pray that i am ready to be alone again and that i doesn't get real hard for me. well i thank you once again for letting me share. God bless each of you and once again thank you from the bottom of my heart, for lending me an ear.

9/21/2003 03:56

Dear Angel Mom Kyleneiloveu, ~ Oh, how my heart aches for you! I can relate to the indescribable pain you are in right now. It's been 7 years since I lost my daughter, but I can still remember the night I first heard the news. That was the night that life as I once knew it to be, ended. Sandy says that when an angel mom loses her child, a part of her goes with that child, and I really believe that's true. Another angel mom and former coworker who lost her son in an accidental shooting about three years before I lost my daughter once told me, (When I asked her how she had managed to go on after losing her son), that ... We go on, but in a different manner. I couldn't understand what she meant at the time because it was so soon after I had lost my daughter, Diane, who was killed in a chain reaction crash which involved 2 cars, 2 pick up trucks, and drunk driving! At the time we had this little chat, I wanted to say to her ... Maybe you can go on, but I can't! I am NOT STRONG ENOUGH! The pain I felt inside felt as though my chest would explode at any given moment. That's just how it is in the beginning stages of grieving! And, if you don't have a strong support system, like this prayer circle, or a close friend or support group, it can really mess with your mind! I had none of these things to help me because I was so much in shock that I didn't know that I needed them until someone told me that I did. My hubby was no help at all, because he was trying to be strong for me. It is so important that newly bereaved moms be told these things in the beginning stages so that they won't feel that they are crazy or cracking up or losing their minds! You need to know in the beginning stages that; Yes, ... There are others, many, many other angel moms out there who have felt the same kind of indescribable pain that I am feeling almost without let up! Of course, in the beginning, hearing that others have endured such pain is almost impossible to believe! At least, that's how it was for me! The good news is ... The pain that you are feeling will ease up ... Will not always be so intense! And, please know that it's OK if you can't believe it at this stage. You are still very much in shock ... And that's normal. But, they day will come, when you won't feel the intense pain 24/7. It just takes time ... It's normal to want to stop hurting, but the love bond that exist between you and your daughter is why the pain is so great right now! That same love, which is eternal, will be the source of your healing ... a little at a time! There is so much more I would like to say to you, but my fingers are getting tired and I want to submit this post before I lose it. So, I'll just remind you that you are now surrounded by angel moms who care deep in their heart about what you are going through! And you are already being prayed for 24/7. Oh, and don't worry about the regrets ... That's just another part of the grieving process! Trust me on this ... Your precious daughter knows how much you love her, just as you know how much she loves you! And, yes, she is all around you in spirit, even though you can't see her! Remember also that God is with you always, no matter what, and now, so are all of us angel moms! :) So you will never be alone again! :) That's right, ... You're stuck with us now!
Love & Angel Hugs,

9/21/2003 08:38

Oh gosh my dear sister, ~ I have been working on responding to your most recent post for a long time! You have so much to deal with right now! My heart goes out to you because of all you are going through. Believe it or not, all the things that keep happening to you, on top of the fact that you are still in shock and hurting over the loss of your beautiful Solange, all of it is the evil one's attempt to destroy you, as well as your will to live in spite of all that you are going through! I, too, had all kind of bad things to happen to me, my friends, and many family members, both during and after the time of my loss. Two short weeks after losing Diane, we lost a family friend who was also killed in a car accident. She left a husband, and two young sons behind. Then one month after Diane's death, one of my brother's daughters ... whom he named after me, ... One of her twin sons died due to an injury he received while playing sports. Would you believe I felt guilty because his mom, my niece was named after me? That is the kind of destructive thinking that the evil one, satan, will put in your head to try to destroy you; to kick you while you are already down as far as you can go!

9/21/2003 08:39

Then in less than a year ... I lost a niece, to cancer, and then another brother to a stroke! (My oldest brother was killed years ago by a hit and run driver.) I had no support what so ever, when it came to having someone to talk to, until my baby daughter, Cheryl, moved back to Louisiana the following year. I did not have this wonderful circle, plus, my best friend and neighbor died of cancer in Jan. of the same year that Diane died. I tell you all of this ... Not to stop your pain, but, so that you will begin to recognize the works of the evil one! I remember one of my old friends (who lost her son 3 years before I lost Diane), once told me shortly after I found this circle, (and I still don't remember how I found it), :) that the fact that I am still making the effort to go on in spite of my grief, and encourage other moms to do the same, is like saying to satan, "In your face!" That really made me smile. :) And it also helps me to regroup, during valley days! Sometimes, especially when the pain was so unbearable, I would say out loud, "In the name of Jesus, ... I rebuke you, satan! You destroyed my child, but you will not destroy me!" I really began to feel like I was paying the evil one back for causing the accident that took my Diane from me! And, the more I try to reach out to our angel moms, the better I feel; even during my own valley times. That's because I have spent a lot of time working through my grief.

9/21/2003 08:40

I still have occasional panic attacks, that come at me out of left field. :) That can happen at any time. The first three years were the hardest for me. But, I knew the moment I had made it to the point of acceptance, and if I can locate the post, I will share it with you all someday. :) Now, enough time, (7 years) has passed so it is not so intense ... The grief that I feel on a daily bases. As Sandy puts it, the grief kind of settles in and what you feel is a quiet sadness instead of the kind of grief that makes you feel as though your heart and head is going to explode at any minute! And as you know, I lost MaDear to a stroke in May of 2000, and my last brother, to suicide in July of 2001. And now, my sister has suffered a severe heart attack with 80% blockage. I mistakenly called it a stroke when I posted about it. I just learned last night in an email that she cannot walk, and needs total care. She is 72, and her son and daughter will be bringing her home to Louisiana in about a week if she is strong enough to make the trip, for us take care of. So you see, my dear sister, telling you of my experiences may help you and the other newly bereaved moms better understand how the evil one works!

9/21/2003 08:41

The things I am sharing will not stop your intense pain. Only God can do that, and He will once you have grieved deeply for your precious child for as long as is needed for you! No two people's grief is exactly the same. We each grieve in our own way and in our own time. But, I can tell you without a doubt, Every time you reach the point where you feel you cannot go on for another minute, You will feel God's presence, and your beloved child's presence, and their eternal love will surround you! At least, that is how it worked for me each time I felt I wanted to die. So, my dear sister, even if you never see your psychologist again, ever, if you continue to surrender to God, ... Just say something like, "OK, God, here it is!" I promise you, He will give you the strength to go through it, if it is within His will! None of us are promised tomorrow! I have already told my family, if I go today our tomorrow, I will leave here saying to the evil one, "In your face!" :) So, we press on, my dear sister, until it is our time! I love you, my sister! Keep casting your "HEAVY" burdens on the Lord; AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN ... until you reach the point where you can finally leave them there! Keep telling yourself: my dear sister, ... Nothing will happen today, that the Lord and I cannot handle! Keep holding on to God, and above all, accept God's blessings!!! As MaDear use to say, "As long as you can do anything for yourself, ... You are blessed!" And then, she would say, (stressing each word ...), "Count your blessings!" :)
Love & Gentle Angel Hugs,

9/21/2003 08:47

Also, my dear sister, and all other angel moms ... thank you from the bottom of my heart, for praying for my dear sister and all of us!

9/21/2003 12:49

hi angel moms,
i have been so busy and it's hard for me to post daily like before but you are all in my thoughts and prayers. welcome new moms and sorry we had to meet under these ways but you have come to a place like no other. i have been coming her for almost two years now and this was the only place i was ablt ot let all my feelings out after the loss of my first born son. i owe all my thanks to verna and sandy and selva. they helped me to be ale to let all my feelings out and they answered all my questions i had. i bought so many books that helped too for i thoought i was alone and no one understud what i was going through. this has never happened in my family and as iread back post from all the losses that verna has gone though i can't beleave she has come this far. i don't think i would of been able to do it. alot of love thoughts and prayers for you all.

9/21/2003 13:12

dear verna,
Michael Anthony Wasilewski
8/12/81 - 8/14/00

also here is a book that i found to really be halpful
ISBN # 0-05-250845-8


9/21/2003 13:25




9/21/2003 19:24

Thanks Deb, for your kind words. You, and the other angel moms have likewise been such an inspiration to me. That is the wonderful thing about our circle of love. Even in our pain, we are still able to reach out and show compassion for one another. And we don't have to ever worry about being judged, no matter what stage of grieving we are in, on any given day. On a hilltop day, I may come here and be able to offer support and words of comfort. On a valley day, when I'm missing my Diane, I may come here seeking support and encouragement, or maybe I might feel the need to just talk about how I am feeling, or whatever has caused me to take a step backwards to relive some painful moments. Either way, it is such a comfort to know that I will never be judged, and that I will be prayed for by all. Deb, you have no idea what an inspiration you have been to me, as well as all the other angel moms. I always love reading one of your wonderful and inspirational poems that you share, such as the one above ... And your heartfelt prayers always provide such comfort and healing strength to all. I still pray 24/7 that God will touch the heart of your precious grandchild's mom, So that you can share the joy of your son's child. I will continue to pray about it until it happens! I also hope you have a very wonderful school year; both as a teacher and also as a grad student. We all will be pulling for you! You've shown such strength through it all. I wish I had some of your energy! You do so much ... yet, never seem to get tired. How you manage to juggle all that you do, I will never understand. But, I thank our Lord and Savior for giving you all the strength you need to handle it all and carry on, even as you grieve your loss! Let us know how your Dad is getting along. I continue to pray for him, God bless him... As well as your entire family. Thanks also for providing the special dates of your beloved Michael, and the book on grief for all the newly bereaved moms. I will also share the angel list like Lisa did, once I get all the special dates again. :) Somehow I lost the one that Lisa sent to us. I know I made a copy, but have not been able to find it so far. So Lisa, if you are reading this ... HELP! :) Also, Deb, ... Please keep all of us; (me, my sister & family), and my aging computer in your prayers! :) God bless you Deb, and don't forget to post when time permits.
Love & Angel Hugs,

9/22/2003 09:21

DEAR ALL ANGEL MOMS, Please forgive me for not posting more, it's been since July for me. I've gone through some rough stuff myself this summer and I am doing much better now. For those of you who are new (I'm so sorry for your losses and so sad that this is the place we have to meet) I lost my 24 yr old son Joseph in a single car crash on Nov. 20th, 1999, 3 years and 10 months ago. It has been the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me and my family. It is so true what Verna and Sandy say that our life ends the way we knew it at the time of our child's death. We begin a whole new life trying to cope without our child. It's very difficult as all of us know. We do get through it if we give our sorrows over to Our Lord Jesus. He has been my only Source and Strength, for without Him and my faith in Him I probably wouldn't be here today. But somehow He pulled me through, through the prayers of many many people and my reliance on him daily. I have learned so much in this tradegy, my family means so much more to me than ever, and we have been blessed with 2 grandaughters last August and Oct and I just can't believe how much I love them. I truly believe that God knew what my husband and I needed that He blessed us with two granddaughters, Zoe & Ruthie!!! 9 weeks apart. A Double Blessing and that is what they are! Thanks You Father!!!!!!
VERNA: Joseph Thomas Hanson~~~3/7/75~11/20/99 Is there anything else you need to know? And how do I look others info up? I don't know where to go for that!
SANDY: My thoughts and prayers are with you dear! I had some of the same experiences when our 16 yr old niece was killed 18 months after Joe. I relived all of it and for 2-3 months felt like the beginning all over. And again this summer when a 15 yr old boy died from our church after a 3 yr long battle with cancer, it happened again. I just think we know what it's like and grieve for them and with them. I'll be praying for your family.
DEAR FATHER GOD, I come before Your throne today and ask for Your peace and comfort for All Angel Moms here at this wonderful circle of prayer and support. I especially lift up those who are early in their grief. I pray that You will suround them with Your love and let them feel Your presence with them especially when they feel like giving up, let them give up to You! I ask You Lord that You will give them a sign like You have given many of us that their child is safe and with You. I pray for understanding & patience of others of what we all might be going through during this long grief period. I thank You Lord for being with us even when we don't feel You. I thank you for being patient with us and for loving us so much. I praise You Lord and give you all Honor and Glory. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless each one of you Angel Moms! I love you all!
Love, Yvonne<><

9/22/2003 12:49

Hi Yvonne! Oh how good it is to hear from you. It's been a while, and we've missed your wonderful prayer posts. Of course, we know that even when you can't post, you still lift us up in prayer. Aren't the grands wonderful! I only have one grandson; Steven, and he is the joy of my life. He's 9 years old now. It seems just yesterday that I held him in my arms for the first time. Where does the time go? They grow up so fast, don't they? And, yes, they are truly a blessing from above, and I'm sure you have discovered there is a very special bond between a grandma and her grandchild or in your case, grandchildren; a double blessing indeed. Please give Zoe and Ruthie a special Angel Hug from all of us here. What a beautiful and touching prayer you've posted for all -- Especially our newly bereaved moms who are just beginning their grief journey. I thank God everyday for His love and for giving us the strength we need to endure our loss. And I agree with you -- If not for Him, I wouldn't be here either. He is my source of strength everyday! About our Angels list of information, a couple of angel moms got a list started, but I misplaced my list, and have requested that it be sent to me again. Cindy and Lisa are the names of the angel moms who compiled lists. As soon as I receive the list again, I will forward it to you or ask Sandy to forward her list to you. I think I made a copy of the original list that Lisa sent, but so far I haven't located it. It's kind of difficult to look the information up on all of our angels because sometimes our moms don't create a memorial site. That is the only other way I know of to get it. Some list it when they first post or soon afterwards, but not always. So, the angel list makes it much easier. The only other information I can recall that's on the list the birthday for angel moms. If there is anything else, I'll let you know. Again, Yvonne, it's great hearing from you!
Love & Angel Hugs,

9/22/2003 13:24

Hi Angel Moms,
I apologize for not posting lately, I have been in deep deep valley days. I went online today to read the updates. I don't have time to post right now but did want you all to know that I sent an updated list to all of you that I have emails for.
Yvonne, please give me your email addy so I can send you the list. My email is
Billie you too! And the other new Angel Moms. Kyleneiluvu, can I ask your name? Send me your email also.
I will write more later.
Love You Guys,

9/22/2003 20:17

Hi my angel moms. Just came back from Omega, it was such a great experience, I tough of all of you, I went to a workshop with Dr. Raymond Moody, Dr. Brian Weiss, and 2 mediums Suzanne Worthrop and Joe Lucas, well something like that, well you know that I went before for a week with Dr. Raymond Moody (Life after Life) and that place gives you energy the minute you walk in there. then Dr. Weiss (Many lifes many masters) its a sweetheart, they both have PHD coming out of their ears, so it was very good for me, enlightened, but I am so very tired. I got to my sister's house about 2 AM, my brother picked me up at Ft Lauderdale airport (1 hour away) then we talked for a while and went to sleep (?) about 3.30 am, got up at 6 to go to work, so I promised, tomorrow I will share the story, right now I am ready to pass out. Had a very bad flight with the hurricane, but I guess God still wants me to be here ( I was so ready to go). I love you my sisters and I will post again tomorrow . Love Selva

9/22/2003 21:10

Hi Lisa! Thanks for sending the angel list. I copied it on a floppy disk this time and labled it! I also sent a copy to Yvonne, since I had her email address, though I don't know if it's the right one. I'm sure she will let us know if she gets it. I hope the new moms will post their information soon or send it in an email so we can add their angels names to our list. Thanks again, Lisa, and I will keep you in my heartfelt prayers as your Aaron's first anniversary approaches. The first of everything is so very difficult; but you will not be alone, for we are already storming heaven with prayer! I will be lighting a candle for your Aaron on his special day. I had typed one of my longgggg posts to you and lost it! :( So, I will submit before it happens again!
Love & Angel Hugs,

9/22/2003 21:52

Hello to all the angle moms. Sorry I haven't posted in a while I was in Florida visiting my sister. Lisa my email address is My beloved Nick pick that screen name out for us. He was playing soccer at the time when got internet service and Nick said I am speedy and Ni for short of my name. I will never get rid of this screen name. I did pretty well while I was in Florida but now that I am back home reality has set back in. I am trying very hard not to go back into valley days, but I don't know if I will be able to prevent myself from doing it. I tryed to get some kind of peace with Nicholas's death while I was in Florida. But I think it is still to soon it is only been 79 days since Nick went to heaven. I know Nick is all around me because I get this calm feeling that just comes over me. I went running today and it felt like I was just floating and I new Nick was with me. I am getting tired I will post tomorrow. lots of hugs and prayers to all. Billie

9/23/2003 15:07

*****Hello dear Angel Moms********

My spirit feels renewed after my 'rest',
I wasn't prepared at all for the resurfacing of emotions that followed after the death of our nephew, Derek, so I followed some good advice and took some time out for myself, to regroup and renew, BUT all were still in my daily prayers.
A very, very big thank you with lots of love and hugs to our dear Miss V for allowing me the opportunity to do this!
Love you Miss V and maybe you're ready for a break now, :) I also pray your sister is making good strides in her recovery! It feels good to be back, and I just can't thank you enough my dear sister Angel Mom Verna, for all that you've done!! I read your posts to all, and they were full of your love, faith, and wise words as usual!
Lots of love and Big HUGS,

9/23/2003 15:24

Hi my sister, so happy you're back, and I can just imagine what the flight was like, with Isabel on the loose. I'm so sorry to hear of the lives that were lost, and the present hardships of some who were hit hard, hope they can get their power, etc. back on soon! Goodness yes, you must have been tired being up so late, so we'll look forward to your posting tonight!!
Much love & Angel Hugs,

9/23/2003 15:38

Hi dear Lisa, first of all, thanks so much for updating the dates of the Circle, that was so nice of you to take the time and trouble again to do so for us all, especially when you're feeling so sad right now, God love you, Aaron's 1st Anniversary is approaching shortly, and the 'firsts' of everything are SO hard. But you know you have us, our prayers, love and support are with you, you know you can count on that dear one.
Are you planning on doing something special yourself on the day, to mark it in a meaningful way for you? As I said, we'll all be here for you,
Peace, love & Angel Hugs,

9/23/2003 15:44

Hello my friend Deb, I know you're a busy lady now with work and school, but it's still terrific to see a post from you. I know you can't post as often as you did during the summer, but don't make us sad and remember to post when you can, :) Love your poem you posted for all, and yes, what a terrific book to recommend to our new Angel Moms!
Love you dear Deb, & Angel Hugs too,

9/23/2003 16:07

Hello Yvonne! Gosh, it's so nice to see you posting again, yes, it's been too long, so happy you posted again! I'm glad you're doing much better now after a rough bout this summer, and you're so right, without Our Lord to lean on, I don't know where I'd be either without His constant help. Yes, what a blessing Zoe and Ruthie are to you and your husband, bringing so much love and joy into your lives. You experienced it also Yvonne, with your niece and the young boy from your Church, it caught me right out of left-field so to speak, I didn't expect to relive those painful moments again over Shane so intensely. Thanks so much for your prayers. I hope your Dove Garden flourished this summer, a loving tribute to your Joe, and once again what a beautiful prayer for all, especially for our newly bereaved moms who are just starting their Journey. May God bless you too Yvonne, and prayers and love to you,
Love & Hugs,

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