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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

5/31/2003 21:16

Hi my Angel Moms, I'm still in valley days, but I'm trying my best to cheer you up, my brother came here today so did my nephew and the 2 of them tried to help me, one with the car and the other with Solange's garden, we had such a terrible week with thunerstorms and all that, the poor things don't realize what in the valley I am, but thanks to you my Angel Sisters, I kep pressing on. May God Bless You All, what will I do without you? You are a better help than my phsycho, and I mean it. I love you all, and I thank God 24/7 for all of you. I will try to sleep tonight, last night was awful, I love you Angel Moms, and THANK YOU ALL, for your so needed help. PS I received a letter from the only one who has aknowledged Solange's gift of life, they are so sweet, but theOrgand Donors won let us communicate directly, the guy who received a much needed kidney, Thank God and Solange , finally is living through her gift, he sounds such a great human being. him and his mother write to me all the time through the agency, they will not permit direct communication, they are so willing to receive Solange's picture and all the info, but the Organ Donors will not permit it, will you believe that? after all? That its getting me very angry at them, the agency, but I will try. and when I say I will. that what I mean, I will publish a message in their newspaper, or what God's wants me to do, they sound like wonderful human beings, and they really want to know about my Solange, Maybe I will get into that, why the Donors can't not get in touch with the recipients? Out of 10 people that Solange saved, only this person (his name is Don and from Fort Myers Fla) was the one to say Thank you for saving mty life. Isn't that fair? Will you help me on this? His mother Evelyn is a real estate agent, he (donald) is a mortgage broker, in Fort Myers Fla, you shoul see all the e mails I have sent to all the realtors in FtMyers, but no results. They are anxious to get in touch with me, and so I am, but the stupid agency will not let us. Well mu Angel sister, I'm going to try to get some sleep, last night my sister's mattress gave up on her (water bed) so I gave up mu pin pan ump (cuban word for a ???? you open and close mattress) and I slept on the couch ouch, so tonight I'm going through the same thing. Love you m y sister, and be sure that I will be praying for all of us. Selva

5/31/2003 21:21

Please forgive me to all my mispelling words, but the one I will never miss spell it is I Love You my dear sisters. Selva

5/31/2003 22:46

My Dear Sister, Selva, ~ After reading your post above, I somehow feel that what I shared may have done more harm than good, for this moment in time. That was what I meant when I said I had reservations about sharing it. Still, I feel that in time, you will come to know that it was meant to let you know that I have been where you, Eva, Lisa, and the other newly bereaved moms are now. Therefore, I can relate to the depth of your heartfelt pain. So can Sandy, Cindy, Deb, Yvonne, and any other angel Mom who has been on their grief journey a while longer. As Donna and Sandy said in their posts above, you should not feel guilty, and you have not done or said anything that requires forgiveness. This is our circle of love, compassion, and understanding. No matter how it comes out, you are not judged. We embrace each other, no matter how deep in the valley we are. That is what is so wonderful about our circle. So, please know in your heart that we understand, and just wish we could help you get through this very painful period. We want so much to help. As Donna and Sandy have said, your pain is so new. You must pamper yourself, and give yourself time to grieve. There is no need to pretend with us. To deny the depth of your grief and anger would be worse than what you are currently going through. Keeping that kind of pain inside, most counselors will tell you, is not healthy or wise. We want you to know that we are here for you and want so much to help you through each painful valley period. But it is very important that you hear from us that the indescribable grief that you are feeling at this time will become easier to bear... Even if you cannot believe it at this time. We can tell you this, because we have lived it. Therefore, we can compare what it was like in the beginning stages to what it is like today. That is not to say that we don't still have our valley days when something will happen that sets us back for a time. We all do. That, no doubt will continue to happen from time to time. But now that some time has passed, we realize, even while we are in the valley, that with prayer, faithful friends, and God on our side, we will get through the rough periods. Our children are pulling for us too. :)If you can just hold on to some parts of what we are telling you about how we have managed to make it this far, I believe you are going to do just fine.:) Always remember, Selva, grieving the loss of a child is different from any grief you have ever known. It takes time, and it cannot be rushed. It cannot be phased out for weeks, or months at a time. It will always be with you to some degree; just not so constant, and easier to handle as time goes on. Just take your time, and do whatever works for you. Remember also that we love you, unconditionally, my dear sister, and that we are here for you, Eva, Lisa, and the other angel moms, no matter what. We need you and your prayers, also. So, please take all the time you need to get through this valley period. Just remember that we are here for you and praying for you 24/7.
Much love, and (((BigBearHugs))),

5/31/2003 23:09

Selva, ~ The post I am referring to in the post above is on page l42,I think ... when you were going through deep valley time. As soon as I submitted my post, I realized we were on a new page! :) You got your post in before I finished writing and submitting the one above. Anyway, it sounds as though you are doing some better, and that makes me smile. Sure hope the weather improves, your car is ok, and good luck on your Solange's garden. :) Good luck also with getting in touch with the recipients. I don't understand what harm they think it will do for you to get to know them. I wish you success in finding them; and if I learn anything that may help, you'll be the first to know.
Love & Hugs,

5/31/2003 23:44

Dearest Selva, You e-mails have cracked me up, thank you for the laughter. Seems like you have had all types of storms going on, I'm glad you have such a Loving Brother and Sister and I''m sorry the water bed gave up but I know you need a good nights sleep but you put so honestly that they made me laugh too, I hope you get a good nights sleep and can get a patch for the water bed, I'm so glad that you have heard from someones life Solange saved and you maybe just the right person to change the rules I'm sure you are not alone in wanting to correspond and visa versa, I'll pray for success and a reunion its sounds just as important to them too, keep us up to date and hope tomorrow the valley will be gentler, Take good care of yourself and I sure hope it stops raining so your Beautiful Garden can grow. We're rejoicing here for getting a little rain and you have to much, Goodnight Dear Selva.

6/1/2003 09:16

Good Morning dear Angel Moms,
I was cleaning up my desk area yesterday, and going through some papers, etc., and came across this. It's message is important for newly bereaved Moms as well as those of us further along the Journey.

~~~I am the only one who can tell my story - the story of my child's death and all that goes with it. In my mind and heart I hold the conversations, the sights and sounds, the details surrounding their life and death. It is alright to tell the story that wells up inside of me. I don't need to hold it in and press it down. I can tell it and tell it until I feel I no longer need to as much. Each time I tell my story, I remove one small bit of hurt and pain inside me. I help to ease my wound.~~~~

Each one of us has our own story to tell of our own unique relationship with our child, but all of us share that unique pain also. That's why it's so important to share our pain, let it out, for only by doing so do we slowly begin to emerge from that 24/7 pain.
Praying for each and everyone of you to have a peace-filled Sunday, and my love to each of you, all of you make this Circle the Circle of Love that it is, and our bond here is one of love for each other! Thank you Father for making this Circle one filled with Your love, I am forever grateful, and thank You for blessing everyone of us with each other, Your love is so evident among these pages, I praise You for Your unending love through Your Son, Our Lord & Saviour Jesus. Amen.
Lots of love, & Bear Hugsss

6/1/2003 10:33

Good morning my sweet Angel Moms. Verna, don't ever think that your posts ar any of the Angels sisters posts will do me any harm, all the contrary, I could not go on without you all, my dear Verna, I print all of the posts and keep them close to me all the time, when I go deep in the valley in my office, I read it over and over, and they lift me up, so please, all of your posts are dear to me and very close to my heart, and I appreciated it so very much and I Thank God 24/7 for leading my to this Wonderful Circle of Love, I just felt a little guilty because you all shared your painful stories just to try to make me understand and I do, and love you all for it. May God Bless You All. Selva

6/1/2003 10:46

Thank you Sandy for sharing that message with us, it is so true, thank you my sister, and thank you all for the beautiful e mails and the funny ones too, they really make me laugh, I share some of them with my sister. Well to keep you up with my life(?), I slept on the water bed last night, my sister slept in mine, guess what, I did not get wet, so I told my sister this morning that I think she wet the bed ha ha , she did not liked that at all. The rain stopped and we had a very sunny day (Solange will be off to the beach for sure), hot, hot, in the 90's, also today is the first day of Hurricane Season, until Nov 13, they are predicting more of it, the other day they said 6 or so now they brought it up to 8, but that goes on every year, we just get prepared at the first hurricane starts, otherwise you can not get into the supermarkets, Home Depot etc. I wrote about 25 e mails yesterday to real estate agcys and Mortgage brokers, I'm sure by tommorrow I will get some answers or maybe they throw me in a nut house for sending all these people crazy e mails, will see. My sister wants to do BBQ today (she is always thinking about food), she will kill me if she reads this, ha ha , and now wants to go a buy a little pool, we can not get a big one because of the contruction project, so she wants one of those portable ones, 13 feet or so, so I will go with her to the store, otherwise she will buy the biggest one around, I don't want to spoil her fun, for she has been so wonderful to me. My brother will come over too, so the 3 of us will do the BBQ thing. Little do they now that all I want to do is cry. Have a wonder ful day my Angels and i will get into the Circle tonight. love you all. Selva

6/1/2003 16:05

Hello my dear sister, it's so good to hear that you had a laugh this morning, your poor sister, ha, ha. Our rain finally stopped too, the sun is still there, :) but it's not in the 90's! Our Lilac tree is in full bloom, should be after all that rain, and we picked some to put our apt., I love the scent from them. Oh gosh, the start of hurrican season, I pray that there will be few and not destructive. I guess you know by now how to get through them, stocking up, etc. I really hope you and the recipient will be able to connect, something should come out of all the e-mails you sent yesterday, nah, can't see them throwing you in the hospital, you're so funny, you make me laugh too, no, you'd better not let your sister see what you wrote, ha, ha! Sounds like a good day, shopping for a swimming pool, and then a family BBQ! Throw a burger on for me, :) With your wonderful sister and brother there with you, maybe it'll help ease your pain, Love you too sister,

6/1/2003 19:15

My sweet friends..oh how I am deeply touched by the love and concern I feel from each and everyone of you.I am truly sorry to have been worring you all with me not posting.especially when you all have days like I have been having...just seems to be getting harder and harder for me..the valley days seem harder to shake..I can't eat,sleep, talk to whole life I've always felt like I could handle anything God put in front of me....with my son not being here with me..I feel like I have no life...I buried myself that same day.. I used to love just waking up and being everything for my children..everything...some days I would be their friend when they felt like the world was against them...some days I would be the smile they needed..the hug they needed...but the best of all was the days when I was just simply "Mama"..I remember a time when giving Matthew a bath, washing his hair one time he told me he'd wanted me to wash his hair all the time 'specially when he got "bigger"..I can't take a bath now without thinking of those days when I would wash my son's hair ...I told him,"Son, when you get're not going to want ole ma washing your hair!"he was like yes I will...with his little pouty lip at the tender age of 5....hard to imagine that was only ten years ago..I will not burden you all with the feelings I am having..I will simply say...I miss my Matthew..I miss hime with every fiber of my being...Selva...I truly know what you are going through....sitting under a table and crying with such anguish..I understand honey...I know...I have your Shane's birthday...Oh Sandy....please forgive me for worring you as well.How hard it must of been for you.

6/1/2003 19:19

I do literally struggle to press on..Matthew will have been called home one year this coming next Sunday (June 8th) One year....I cannot believe I have made it this far....I thank Jesus.That day I will hold my head up high and praise God for all of his blessings on me and my family...Please know that I love you all.....In His Care I Press On......Eva

6/1/2003 20:53

Hi my dear sister Eva, I;m so glad to see you are posting here again, we really missed you, I know june its a bad moth for you, august it will be a bad moth for me, so keep hanhing in there my sister, we all know, deeeeep valley days, that its so good thinking about our sweet smile angel, when he was little, guess what my phsycho asked me last week to bring her pictures of Solange, all I could bring was when Solange was little, the first year of her life I used to bring her a cake for each month, and i will celebrate with her another month, my Dr. told me, and I'm sure this will go for you too, that some kids are brought up with milk, but some are brought up with milk and honey, and that is what we did. I'm sure Matthew was brought up with milk and honey, I can tell in his very beautiful smile, so keep pressing on my dear sister, we have a long journey to go, but with the help of our Dear Angel Moms in this Circle of Love, we will keep on pressing on, hang in there my sister, we are all praying for one and other. Just don't be a stranger we are all here for you and for everybody, please my sister this is the only place where you can find understanding and lots of love. Love Selva

6/1/2003 21:12

Hi my Angel sisters, well I will tell you about my day (still in the valley) but my brother and sister gave me such a hard day today, and I'm so thankful to them, I woke up with my diarheas again, so we had to wait until about 1:30 pm to go to KMart, you should have seen it, the swiming pool was up in a very high shelf, so we got a staircase (noone to help) we got our brother up in the staircase, and we were holding on, the poor thing had such a hard time, becouse the bos was really heavy, well we finally paid for it, then we came home and we had to assembled the whole thing, well the pool is 13 by 13 and 3 feet high, BUT, the outside on top is a ring which we had to feel with air, imagine one of those safety rings (I forgot how they call it) that we had around our kids when they went into the water, but this one was 13 ft around, all we had was a little pump for the bicycle's tires, so we took turns, 40 pumps each, in the meantime it was 92 degrees out I think i lost about 3 pounds today, well my brother finally put it all together and the we had to fill it with water, (we forgot the cover and the clorox or whatever to clear the water) it was *:30 pm when we finally filled the pool, by that time it was raining, so we left it like that, I guess tomorrow we will have to clean it and buy the cover and the thing to make the water safe. So that whats my day. Thank God for my borhter and sister, they are such Angels, my poor brother have to work tonight from 10pm to 6 am, he called me a little while ago to check how was the pool, and he said I will be remembering both of you all night long, because I'm so tired. Well my sister, I don't want to get into the valley side of it. Solange would have enjoyed so much. Well tommorrow I guess one of the so many e mails I sent will contact me, I will let you know. I love you all my Angel Sisters, and now I will be going to bed and pray for all of us. God Bless. Selva

6/2/2003 00:06

Dear Eva, how happy we all are to hear from you! It's been a while since your last post, pain-filled, and I think we all knew you must still be having a hard time. Your feelings are never a burden to us, we just pray that we could take your pain away, but we can't.
We can be here for you with our love, support and understanding, and especially our prayers. The 1st year Anniversary of Matthew's passing coming up next week no doubt is bringing up a lot of memories, that are so painful right now, the 1st year Anniversary is a very painful one, our hearts and minds have a difficult time grasping the fact that it's been a year, we're not ready for it, we don't want it, all we want is our child back with us. Your entire life has changed so much in the last year, and it's all very hard to deal with it. But please dear Eva, let your pain out, I pray you have someone who you can talk with, and you know you can always post here, I understand how difficult it can be to do that sometimes, but all of us are here for you, you're never alone here, we love you and care about you and want to know how you're doing. I think Selva said the most beautiful thing to you, Matthew was brought up with milk and honey, and he knows how loved he is!
Yes, you've made it this far, through all the pain and changes, and by pressing on in His care, you'll continue to come further, maybe baby steps right now, and that's OK, you do it in your own time and remember to be gentle with yourself, believe it or not, you have come a long way, but of course you're still in a lot of grief.
Your great faith is helping with your struggle to keep pressing on, and Our Lord will always be right by your side helping you step by step. I'm so happy you posted, and we'll storm Heaven for you so you'll have the peace that Our Lord can give to you dear Angel Mom. Our love, prayers, and support are with you always, please continue to post, we all care. Lots of prayers and love to you dear Eva,
Love Sandy

6/2/2003 19:30

Hi my dear Angels, deeeeeeeep valley days, I went to my house (home) today after work and the valley took over, I went to my Solange's room, I looked at her shoes, her clothing, Oh my dear Angel moms, what can I do? I refused to believed my Solange is not longer here, I will not, I think she is at the beach, at the discho's , she ill be be with her boyfriend (to my own belief) I just don't know what to do. My dear Eva, we are all going through the same pain, so is our sister Lisa, please Angel mom's say a little prayer for all of us, I know you will. Thank you God for bringing me to this Circle of Love. What will I do withouth you All. I will be praying , but you know how I do that, with my Anger, my forgiveness, and with all my heart. Thank you Angel Moms, what will I do without you. Love Selva

6/2/2003 19:37

Angel Moms. I forgot to tell you about the e mails I sent . No answer, Well I will keep on trying, so dissapointed. people do not care, just money maybe, and another thing we have our pool up, but it's been raining , so so long we have not have a chance to get in the pool, my poor brother called my sister this morning to tell her that he was in so much pain in his shoulders, he is the oldest, 63, we laughed at him, he does not want to be old. I love you my sisters and I thank God for all of you. Love Selva

6/2/2003 22:38

My son ERIK passed in 1977-he would be 34 this Wed--and i miss him as if it were yesterday. There is no easy way to get through the days and years . Just put your life in God's hands and go on. Your faith will keep you.

6/2/2003 23:40

Hi my dear sister, it's sooo hard when we look at our child's belongings as you did last night, while your pain is still so fresh, and not want to accept the loss. So in the beginning, like you dear Selva, we play 'little games' in our minds, because it comforts us and also we just can't in the beginning realize it's true. We refuse to believe that our child is gone, because to believe it makes it real, and you're just not ready for it right now. You're still in the shock and disbelief stage. And that's OK, everyone moves along the Journey in their own time, and when you're ready to start accepting slowly the reality of it all, you will know. Oh Selva, of course we're praying for you and Lisa & Eva, and we will say extra prayers for you all. Your prayers are music to Our Lord's ears, He hears the deep part of your big loving heart, so we are thankful too for your prayers! Oh, that's too bad you haven't heard from any of your e-mails yet, but give it a few more days, some people may be away sick, or on vacation, so there's still hope! Ah, your poor brother, :) sore and aching, and you two laughing at him, :)! Still raining there! Today it was a nice sunny day here, but the good old rain is returning tomorrow. I think we'll have to build a boat, :)
Love you my sister, and what would we do without you? Remember, one step at a time! My love and prayers are with you always,
Love Sandy

6/2/2003 23:49

Hello paande, welcome to the Circle, I'm so sorry that you lost a child too, your precious Erik. You never really get over losing one of your children, do you, as you say, with God's help we learn how to live with it and continue on ourselves. Please post here anytime you feel like it, you'll only find love, support, compassion and prayers here, all feelings are honoured. I pray Wednesday isn't too painful for you, our prayers are with you dear Mom,
and thank you for your own sharing here.
Love & Prayers,

6/3/2003 07:25

Dear paande, ~ Welcome to our circle of love. I am sorry you lost your beloved son, Erik. Time means nothing when it comes to missing our beloved child, or in some cases, children. You are so right when you say there is no easy way to get through the days and years. I believe it's because our lives have been changed forever, and that is a very hard thing to accept. It is something that we cannot accept all at once. It literally takes years, if ever. It will be seven years (Aug. 31st), since I lost my precious 36 year old daughter, Diane. Through prayer, a lot of much needed support, and a lot of effort on my part,(when I could do it), I have learned to manage my grief a lot better ... But, it will always be an ongoing effort. My undying faith in a loving and caring God, gives me the renewed strength I need from day to day. He continues to send me all the support I need; And, nowhere have I found that support to be as constant and sincere as I have found it to be right here in our circle of love. On valley days, there is always someone to help lift us up, and help us to carry on. So, please know that you have our love, support, compassion, and prayers, as you approach the upcoming anniversary of your beloved Erik. May our Lord and Savior wrap His loving arms around you and give you peace as only He can give.
God's peace & blessings,

6/3/2003 08:01

Hello dear Eva, Lisa, & Selva, :)

Eva, ~ Gosh, it is so good to hear from you again. We have been very worried about you and praying for you. The same is true for Lisa. When you don't post, we worry! :( You, Lisa, and Selva are all in that terrible stage of shock and disbelief. Your mind simply cannot accept what happened. The same thing happened to me and the other moms who have been on our grief journey awhile longer. So, again, we can relate to that kind of indescribable grief that you are feeling during this early stage. If it were in our power to take away this bitter cup, we would do it in a split second! Unfortunately, we cannot. Only God, in His tender mercy, can provide those precious moments of relief from the almost constant grief and pain of missing your beloved child. That is why we continue to pray for you, and for each other. And, as I have said so many times; No prayer is lost! The important thing for each of you to remember is: You must grieve your loss at your own pace. While we share some elements of the grieving process, your loss is extremely personal, and unique to you. Only you and God know just how hard this is for you. We will always be here for you, but we cannot do what only God can do for you. That is ... Give you relief from the constant pain you fell in your heart. God will provide the healing, but it will take time. The grief, and healing of a loss of this magnitude cannot be rushed. So, we continue to pray without ceasing, and turn it over to God. Ya know we love Y'all, ... And always feel confident that you are covered in our prayers ... As we know we are covered in yours!
God's peace and blessings,

6/3/2003 08:15

Hello dear Sandy, ~ Words fail me when I think of what God has done, through you, for all of us! I know how modest you are; So do the other moms who post here. Still, we are so grateful to you for providing this safe place for all of us who have lost a child -- or, in some cases, children. Just being able to come here and express how we feel on any given day, is such a blessing, Sandy, ... And, we love you and God for providing this safe place where we know we are understood, loved, and prayed for. God bless you, dear one!
Love & Hugs,

6/3/2003 08:23

Hello dear Donna, ~ You are such a blessing in my life. Your love and devotion has helped me get through some of my darkest days! Those wonderful fwd pages and your personal messages always speak to my heart, and give me courage to keep on keeping on ... Even on days when I may not feel like doing so. :) My email is still quite messed up, but AOL is working to straighten all of that out. I will try again to send a few fwd pages to you and the other angel moms and hope they get through. I used copy/paste earlier this morning, but don't know if it worked. I pray that you are doing well and that the treatments are working. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers 24/7, as are the other angel moms.
Love & Hugs,

6/3/2003 08:29

Dear Deb, ~ I hope all is going well for you and your precious granddaughter. I have asked God to handle that delicate situation for you. I have faith that He will answer my prayer! I pray also, that your father's health continues to improve from day to day.
Love & Hugs,

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