Prayer Circles


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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.


SELVAM
5/19/2003 20:30

Hi All my sister's Moms, Sandy and Donna I can not thank you enough for your support, you know I tell my phsyco about you all everytime I go, little does she knows that you guys are a better help than she does, well no, she is a wonderful soul, and she knows about the pain for she lost one of her sons 9 years ago, she is a sweetheart, but you are the Tops. Dona please keep your feet up and rest my dear sister, I know deep in my heart that you will be OK, I keep you and all my sisters in my prayers, talk to God (in my own way) sometimes I get angry at Him, but heck He put me through this so its His job to help me right?, He does, the poor thing must be tired of my complains, but I pray for all of you and myself sometimes, tomorrow I'm going for the cscan, and believe me I'm so tired of going to the bathroom that I just want to get this over with, I will be with my Solange and that is all I want, but I guess I have to follow HIS plan, men it is not that easy, I thank Him everyday for taking me to this Circle of Love, I can not Thank Him enough, to meet all you guys, what will I do without you, my sister and my brother, I love you All my Angel Sisters. And please know that You are "always" in my humble prayers. Love you all. Selva


SELVAM
5/19/2003 20:36

You know, there is one thing I always forget to tell you, he he My name Selva , in spanish means "Jungle", my father was an outdoor man who enjoyed nature, but , was a hunter, He enjoyed junting so much that he went out to the country side everyday, he toughed my how to shoot, I have a very good eye, since I was little he used to take me hunting (but never to shoot animals) he used to put empty bottles and cans and tought me how to shoot. Crazy cubans. Selva


LOVE2U
5/19/2003 22:18

Dear Angel Moms! ~ My doctor confirmed what the nurse sent to me in a hand written note in the snail mail and also on the phone this past Friday. As far as the test results are concerned, all 3 turned out fine!!! Thank you all so very much for storming heaven with prayer for me! I know it was the prayers that were prayed for me, because, there were so many, many times I could have prayed for myself, but kind of didn't because I had reached a very low place in my grieving. In other words, I had allowed myself to think on things that had absolutely nothing to do with seeking joy in my own personal life. :) Silly me! :) I knew the moment I got off track, and began slipping back, but did little to regroup, and pray and ask God to help me work through what was beginning to build up again. We're talking about one of those major storms, angel moms! :) After talking with my doctor, and finally getting a lot out of my system ... things I have only shared with one other sister friend; because I didn't want to cause anyone to take on worrying about me, in addition to what they were going through. By the time the appointment was over, I felt like my old self again! I still have a ways to go on the stop smoking thing ... But I am honestly working on quiting for good, with God's help, Babygirlcc's all out PLAN and encouragement, and your continued prayers! :) As of now ...however, I am counting my many blessings, and enjoying the moment. If only for this moment ... I will accept His blessings, and "All the joy I can stand!" Again,Thank you, my sisters, for your prayers! Grandson is yelling from the den, "MAMAW, I hate to interrupt you, but tomorrow is a school day. So, we better go, "IF" we are going to stop to get some Tacos!" Ha-ha! So, ladies ... MAMAW duty calls! :)
Love and Hugs, and I will copy paste a long post I did to all, (this afternoon, just before my drs. appointment)sometime later on tonight or early tomorrow morning. Love Y'all, and it feels GREAT to be back posting again. Will also catch up on reading later tonight. It's been a while since I've been able to do so on a regular basis.


Leander72
5/20/2003 04:14

Dearest Selva, Your Dad sounds like a good man with a heck of a sense of humor or saw something in you or how your life would be exotic like a jungle,colorful a place like no other, a jungle has Beauty beyond compare so I think He named you well. We are all hoping and praying for you and soon for this to end so when they do the catscans think of us and please try not to laugh ok, Spring is the time of all possibilities I write this as fifty miles or more gust outside and Spring has its sadness but also the beauty all around so here's hoping soon you will have answers and new rebirth of good health. Love&Hope Donna


Leander72
5/20/2003 04:18

Dearest Verna, Hurrah, its good to see you post and we all figured it was a very hard time unfortunately it happens and I'm glad you talked to your Dr and confided in someone and after the storm may rainbows brighten your days. Please we know you are working hard so still take time to rest. Love&BearHugs Donna


Leander72
5/20/2003 04:22

Dearest Sandy, How are you, yes you are here for us always but its been a little quiet at your end about you, let us know Dear One we are here as long as the wind doesn't blow us to another state so when you can let us know. Ya know we Love no you can't escape it your stuck BEARHUGSSSSSSSSSSS Donna


SELVAM
5/20/2003 19:19

Hi Sandy, where are you???, I think you are Ok I recieved beautiful e mails from you, but we want to know, yoy know what I mean? Hi my sister Verna, Oh how happy I am and I'm sure all the Angel Moms in the Circle of Love, to know that everything turned out OK, THANK YOU GOD. Donna, THANK YOU for your care and love, you are another Angel here on Earth, Like I said before THANK YOU GOD for taking me to this Circle of love. Well I went to my c scant, not easy, the thing they gave to drink was all out before I got there, not easy, so I had to take another quart, I warned them that I was going to let it out so they sadi to be still, well I finally went through with it, but I called my primary Dr. he is a sweetheart, he called back and he told me not to worry , he is going to get the results for me, imagine, they did not give me an appt with the (so callled) gastroenterologist (?) until thrusday 29, so he will take care of it. You know, I have no energy anymore, I'm dragging myself to work everyday, so will see, like I said before I'M READY. Donna, Sandy, Verna, my Solange's garden its not ready yet, we had thunderstorms, and wind (Donna you too), but we are working on it, yesterday they gave us the hurricane (picture) for this year, 11 storms, 4 hurricanes and 2 deadly hurricanes, so what else its new, we keep preparing, but so far, since 1992 Andrew, nothing big, so lets see this year, I love you my Angel moms, last night I could not sleep so I prayed all night for all of us, and you know what? I did not feel sleepy or anything this morning (until the diarreas came back) But please know that you are all in my prayers everyday. God Bless You all my sisters, and Sandy please write a little bit. Thanks Selva


LOVE2U
5/21/2003 11:03

Hi All, ~ This is the copy/paste post that I spoke of in my last post. :) Will post later ... Got lots of running around to do to day, and I am already running late! :) Take care of yourselves, angel moms.
Prayerfully yours,
Verna
Good Morning Angel Moms, ~ I just wanted to let you know that I received all your emails and beautiful, fun, uplifting fwd pages and they really have helped me during my Big Valley time. :) I am sure all of you know that I am still, as always, praying for all angel moms, that God will grant you the peaceful moments, throughout each and every day ... One minute, one hour, one day at a time. The cross we carry daily, as we all know, came sometimes become so debilitating. No matter how long or short the time, we all have our moments when we feel that our burden, or cross, is just too heavy to carry alone. Some days, it is so difficult; the waiting, for those moments of peace. I can tell you, from first hand experience, that it is worth the wait. Just keep, or if necessary, renew your faith in God, and never, never let go of the fact that you belong to Him. You are His child, and we all know how we are about our children. :) Well ... Our Father, God, feels the same way about us. According to His Holy Word, He loves us unconditionally! That means: Nothing can separate us from the love of God. Even if we don't believe it, or even if we miss the boat, so to speak, when it comes to recognizing and thanking Him for our many blessings that He grants us on a continuous basis ... He continues to love us anyway! Just think about it, angel moms, ... Isn't that the way we all feel about our children? :) Maybe you don't need to be reminded of this. However, I mention this simply because there have been many, many times in the past, and present, that I have to remind myself of this truth. Sometimes, when I feel my anger at God building up again, (due to the loss of my Diane), I try to phase God and His love for me, completely out! I tell myself, (or the evil one tells me), that God couldn't care less about me, and all that I am going through. And, angel moms ... It never fails ... When I get down on God like this, He always sends the messenger to knock some sense back into me! :) Sometimes, He sends the messenger in your emails, your fwd pages that you take the time, and care enough to send to me. :) And, sometimes His unconditional love shines through in the form of the many, many prayers that have been prayed for me. And, sometimes, it comes in the form of an unexpected phone call from a friend or love one whom I have not heard from in a long while. And, sometimes, usually when I am alone, ... It comes in the form of peaceful moments, for which we pray! As I was reminded in the words of one of the many poems God's Holy Spirit gives to me to write from time to time: Life here on earth is just for a moment. Angel moms, I feel as though I am preaching, :( And, I really don't mean to; It's just that sometimes, God places something on my heart, that I have this burning desire to share with you. I don't claim to understand it, I just know it happens sometimes. I really didn't plan on saying all of this stuff! :) Sandy, I am really feeling all the joy I can stand, at the moment. :) Angel Moms, ... Just continue believing in His love, and the joy that awaits us! And even during the times when you are angry at God, and can't believe much of anything ... We moms will storm heaven with prayer for you daily until you feel not so angry, and can again accept God's blessings with gratitude and love. In the words of an old spiritual, I feel led to remind you that:
"By and by, when the morning comes,
When all the saints of God are gathered home,
We'll tell the story of how we've overcome;
For we'll understand it better by and by!"
God bless you, Angel Moms! And just remember that God loves you unconditionally! ... And, so do I! :)
Love & (((Hugs))) ...
Verna


shaner
5/21/2003 15:10

Hello dear Verna, what wonderful news, the best possible, your tests came back A-OK!! It's about time you're healthy again, and we're all so happy for you!
Now we want to hear the same news from Selva and Donna! Yes my dear, now you have to concentrate on quitting smoking, very hard to do, I know, perhaps you could try one of the many products available now that help, like the step-down program. I'm sure Cheryl will keep her eye on you, :) I'm so happy that your own personal storm is over too, as Donna said, unfortunately they do happen, but Praise Our Lord, they thankfully pass and make us stronger in the end. You sound like your old self again, happy, and yes, all the joy you can stand, :). Take care of yourself and we know your prayers are with us, just as our prayers are with you and each other in this Circle of Love! God's blessings to you too dear Verna, and our love too!
Much love,
Sandy


shaner
5/21/2003 15:58

Hello my dear sister Selva, ah, that's so sweet, telling your psycho about us, but you're a big help to all of us too!
I'm so happy that you got your catscan over with, as difficult as it was, but now you'll find out the results and get your health back too! It must be so hard to go to work, feeling the way you are, God love you.
Oh gosh, I have no idea what it's like to live through a Hurricane, I've seen pictures of the great destruction that Hurricane Andrew did, but I pray that the ones forecasted for you will NOT be so destructive, and there will only be minimal damage if any! I live on the shores of Lake Ontario, and we have some wicked storms come off the Lake, but nothing that would compare to a Hurricane thank God. Oh dear sister, we love you too, you know that, and what would we do without you here? So we're very happy that God led you here too! You prayed for us all night? You have such a big heart, always thinking of others too, but please try to get some rest, you need to build your energy back up. Thank you for the beautiful pages yesterday and today, I loved them. No, I wasn't online much yesterday, we had friends over last night, so I was busy, but catching up today. Ah, you and Donna missed me, :)
You know though that you're always in my love and prayers, and I agree with Donna, your name is beautiful and your Dad sounds wonderful!
Yes, I had a few days being down in the dumps, but feel better now, so thanks for your concern. Love you lots my sister, and you rest, feeling all our love and prayers with you! Let us know about your results,
Lots of love,
Sandy


shaner
5/21/2003 16:14

Hello dearest Donna, I hope the wind has calmed down and you're still in place, :). It's really nice to see a post from you, but that also means you're on your feet, don't make me come down there, I don't have enough gas in my car, :). Seriously though, I hope that means you're feeling a little better, cause ya know you're missed around here! But, getting better is number 1 priority right now. Yes, as I said to Selva, I had some blah days, phooey ones, :) and thanks for your concern too dear one. I don't mind at all being 'stuck', I'm surrounded by prayer and love here, so here they come back to you my friend, BEAR HUGSSSSSS!!
And thank you for your beautiful pages too, you're all so dear to me! My prayers and love are with you, you know that, so please don't overdo it,
Lots of love to you,
Love Sandy


SELVAM
5/21/2003 21:24

Hi Verna. AMEN, to you too its so nice to see you are postng again my dear sister I was so woried about you. Thank God, My dear sister Sandy and Donna, Thank to God to put you in my path, I can not thank you enough for your help, I will let you all know about my test tomorrow ( I forgot how to spell tommorrow ?) anyway I will tell you the outcome, I hope and pray that I will be with my Solange soon, but I am in God's Hands, whatever He wants me to do I will, Juny passed by my office today. I feel so bad for her, her mother its not all together, and she is sufering, her mother has a boyfriend, and he does not get a full time job, etc etc, Isn't this life crazy?, she learned what meant to have a home and a mom while whe lived with us, and she misses Solange soooo much, I feel so bad for her, of course she always comes back to me for advice, and I'm glad for that, you know life its not fair, she could be such a wonderful human being, but does not have the help of her mother, why did God took away Solange????, Well I will take care of Juny Thank God she listens to me, but when I think back, why bad mothers have their daughters alive, and why good mothers (and believe me I think I was or am) then He takes our child away, I'm sorry Angel's Mom I'm going through raugh times. Thank You God for this Circle of Love. I love you Angel Moms, you mean everything to me. Selva


DEBORAHPOO
5/22/2003 04:19

DEAR ANGEL MOMS,

GOOD MORNING. LAST NIGHT WAS A ROUGH NIGHT TO SLEEP AFTER VISITING THE LAWYER. I WAS ABLE TO READ THE STATMENT THAT MY SISTER GAVE TO THE INSURANCE INVESTAGATOR WHICH SO MUCH OF WHAT SHE SAID WAS UNTRUE AND BECAUSE OF THIS MY HUSBAND IS VERY UPSET WITH HER. AND MICHAEL'S DAUGHTER WILL ONLY GET 20.000.00 WHEN SHE GETS OLDER. THIS IS WHAT THE INSURANCE COMPANY OF THE LADY'S CAR IS OFFERING AND BECAUSE OF HER POLICY TOO. HE ALSO GAVE ME A # TO A FAMILY LAWYER SO WE MAY PROCEED TO GRANDPARENTS RIGHT AND GET VISITATIONS. I'M NOT SURE HOW LONG THIS WILL TAKE BUT I'M HOPING IT WILL HAPPEN BEFORE CHRISTMAS. I JUST WANT TO GIVE HER SUCH A BIG HUG AND NOT LET GO. I ILL BE CONTACTING HER TODAY OR TOMORROW FOR I GET OUT OF WORK EARLY FOR THE LONG WEEKEND. I WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW THINGS ARE GOING. LOVE AND PRAYERS TO YOU ALL.

LOVE DEBBY


DEBORAHPOO
5/22/2003 04:24

DEAR SELVA,

I'M SO HAPPY YOU ARE FEELING BETTER AND I TOO LOVE ALL THE EMAILS YOU SEND ME . THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BRIGHTENING UP SOME OF MY VALLEY DAYS. PLEASE LET US KNOW HOW THE DR'S WENT. LOVE AND PRAYERS TO YOU.

LOVE DEBBY


DEBORAHPOO
5/22/2003 04:32

DEAR LOVE2U,

I QUIT SMOKING LAT YEAR FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE AFTER SMOKING SINCE I WAS 13 AND I WILL BE 39 IN DECEMBER AND I AM SO GLAD THAT I ID. IT WILL BE A YEAR NEXT MONTH ON THE 22ND AND I ONLY GAINED 12 POUNDS AND JOINED CURVES AND WORK OUT 5 TO 6 DAYS A WEEKS AND HAVE LOST 6POUNDS OUT OF THE 12 GAINED AND IF I MISS DAY I DON'T FEEL RIGHT SO I BOUGHT A GIZZEL MACHINE AND WORK OUT ON IT THE DAYS I DON'T WORK OUT WHEN THE PLACE ISN'T OPENED. I DIDN'T THINK I COULD DO IT BUT I DID. MY SISTER -N - LAW AND MY BROTHER BOTH QUIT AND STARTED SMOKING AGAIN BECAUS THEY DIDN'T LIKE THE WEIGHT. I DIDN'T SO I DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT AND IF YOU TRY TO QUIT AND DON'T LIKE THE WEIGHT YOU CAN DO SOME THING ABOUT IT TOO.
I ILL BE PRAYING THAT YOU QUIT AND IT WORKS FOR OU. YOU WILL FIND YOU HAVE MORE ENERGY AND YOU EAT MORE BUT YOU NEED TO EAT THE RIGHT THINGSAND OH I USED THE NEICERDERM CQ PATCH WITH THE THREE STEPS AND I WON. BEST OF LUCK .

DEBBY


shaner
5/22/2003 16:06

Hi my sister, you don't need to thank us for our help, that's what friends are for! Yes, please let us know the outcome of your tests, we're all very worried. Ah, sweetie, I understand your feelings about your illness and wanting to be with your precious Solange, but as you say, it's in God's Hands, and with all of us praying for a good outcome for you, God has heard our prayers and I know that prayer is powerful! And I'm going to be selfish right now and say no, we need you here!
Thank God that Juny has you in her life, you give her the love and stability that she needs so badly. That's too bad about her mother, but she has you and yes, she must miss Solange so much too! You are both a comfort to each other. No, on the surface it doesn't seem fair, but God's ways are not our ways, and one day we will understand. It's plain to see that God put Juny in your life, knowing with your big, loving heart that you would be there for her, and of course you are a good Mom, never doubt that, everything you did for Solange was out of your great love for her! Dearest Selva, you don't ever need to apologize here for saying how you feel, you know that, nobody does, we're all here for each other and of course you're having rough days, but I know Our Lord has you in the palm of His Hand and is looking after you. So please post and let us know about your results, love you lots, and waiting for the rainbow,
Love & Hugs,
Sandy


shaner
5/22/2003 16:21

Hello dearest Deb, I'm so happy you posted to let us know how the lawyer's meeting went. No wonder you had a rough night, I don't know all the circumstances, but why would your sister lie in her statement? Perhaps she was nervous and confused when she gave it and it wasn't intentional? I pray it's a misunderstanding and you'll be able to sort it out. If Michael's daughter gets $20,000 when she comes of age, perhaps that money could be put right now into a financial area where there will be interest accruing on it for her. Selva might know more about this than me. I'm so happy though that you're seeing the lawyer and getting the ball rolling, so you'll be able to see your grandaughter, and I'm praying that it will happen way before Christmas for you!! That's wonderful news, let us know what the lawyer has to say about it. Yes, dear Deb, I know how happy you'll be to finally hold her and give her hugs, kisses and your love.
We're all praying for you dear Deb, and our love is with you always,
Lots of love to you,
Love Sandy


Elparro
5/22/2003 20:59

Hello my sweet angelmoms...it's been a long week...I let my grandaughter come stay with us while her mom has been sick.she is feeling much better.she is due in july.alot has been going on here at in my home...my brother in law is staying with us for how long I don't know.he's the dad of my neice( who I don't claim) she is the one I feel is responsible for my matthew being killed..I know I am wrong for blaming her..but it's all I have right now.the blaiming part that is...so much anger...please pray about that for me...for I know God is still upset with me about that..anyway....I talked with my husband about his brother...too many memories coming back to life...things I did'nt wanna face...coming back in a flood that I feel I'm drowning...matthew will have been dead one year next month...and in a way I want my life to end as well.I can't take this pain. It hurtssss so much.....I just want to lay down and die...I love you all...and I'sorry if all I do is come on here and moan and groan..love you all....I 'm glad to hear you are feeling better Verna...selva...you the sweet one....God knows how I feel about you...Lisa...it was nice talking to you on the phone that night...such a brave sounding soul you soundlike on the phone...sandy.....bless you for this circle...for I know I would of done went absolutly mad if it were'nt for this place to come and just cry and scream.Debbie..thank you and selva for visiting my matthew's site..I would like to know everyone elses's so that I could do the same....donna......Oh God how your "bearhugs' feel when I need them the most....there goes the phone...I know it's my so called neice....please somebody answer it!!! if I hear her voice I don't know what I will say to her...I have in my mind what I do want to say..but it's something I know she ain't gonna like...God help me let this anger go....please let me show a forgiveness like I have never shown.....God help me I don't know what to do.....I love you all.....In His Care Struggle To Press On......Eva


LOVE2U
5/23/2003 04:18

Dear Sandy, ~ I am sorry to read that you have had some valley days. One of the main reasons I love our circle of sister friends so much is the fact that I know we are always covered by the prayers we pray for each other daily. You are always covered with our prayers and our love. On days when I feel like giving up, or feel that I am too tired to continue trying, I think about all the prayers that have been, and are being prayed for me. I also think about the many prayers I pray for each and every Angel Mom, and how much both our prayers and prayer requests are needed. More than anything, these thoughts help me to refocus my efforts, and hang in there in spite of my longing to see my Diane again. I will always thank God for providing this circle of loving moms. It's a place I know I can come to pray, to vent my anger, ask others to pray for me, ask such painful questions as why me, and why my child,... And the list goes on. And through it all, I know that God understands exactly how I feel and that He loves me no matter what kind of day I am having. I know the same is true of His love for all my sister friends. It all comes down to the fact that nothing can separate us from the love of God. And for that, I thank Him. I pray that God will continue to bless you, Sandy, and all the other Angel Moms as well. I thank you and the other Angel Moms for praying for me. Please continue to help me pray for God's love and healing power to cover all Angel Moms and our families in any way that we need. As I draw closer to God, I often recall the saying, "Don't sweat the small stuff", and, "It's all small stuff." For in the end, only what's done for Christ will last. It always warms my heart to know that the love and compassion, that we share here in this circle will last. And, for that, I am forever grateful! To God be the glory! Amen!
Love & (((Hugs)))
Verna


LOVE2U
5/23/2003 05:00

To my dear sisters, Selva, Debby, Eva, Donna, and Lisa. Please know that I pray for each of you, according to your needs and your prayer requests. There is power in prayer. It is the best weapon we have against the evil one. God's Holy Word teaches us that satan came to steal, kill, and destroy. We know that he uses people and situations to do perform these evil deeds on a daily basis. We know he always has and always will, until the end of time. This time, the present, is all the time we have to help God defeat the evil one and his evil forces. We do that on a daily basis through our prayers and compassion, and random acts of kindness. We do this in spite of the indescribable grief and pain we have known, and in a less painful degree, will always know and feel. We do this because we delight in knowing that one day, we will live forever in God's kingdom with our Lord and Savior, and with our children and other loved ones. We continue to try to do God's work, because we know that it is only by the grace of God that these things will come to pass. We cannot get there on our own, on our goodness, or because we deserve it more than others. God's Holy Word teaches us that. So, we press on, in spite of the storms that we have to endure in this life; knowing in our hearts that one day, the sun will shine brightly again in our hearts and in our souls. Please know in your hearts, my dear sisters, that it does not matter how deep in the valley you are, God was already there. He alone has the power and the strength to lift you up and out of the valley ... No matter how many time you fall. Our prayers help, but God is the only one with the power to deliver each of us out of that dark place each time we stumble and fall. Only He can lift us up again! Once we take our burdens, or troubles, our grief and anger to the Lord ... And leave it there, He delivers ... And we begin to feel the affects of that deliverance, once we let go and let God! Only then can we begin to feel the peace that only He can give. May God continue to grant us those peaceful moments, for which we all pray. Amen!


LOVE2U
5/23/2003 05:29

Dear God in heaven, ~ Please hear my humble prayer. I ask that You would wrap your powerful and healing arms around all of my sister angel moms and bless them in whatever way you know they need. Father, please allow them to feel your love, your concern, your understanding of their grief and pain. Father, I pray for the divine healing of their physical body and the mental healing of their minds. Please, God, cast out anything that the evil one tries to do to hurt them further, as they struggle to deal with the ultimate loss of their child. For it is a loss that is like no other. Father, I know you understand and that you truly care. Give each of us the peace, and the strength to face each day, and all that we are faced with on a daily basis. Please guide our thoughts and our actions, Lord. Keep our minds focused on your will in our lives. Father, we cannot do it without your divine help. Thank you, God, for sending the messenger through our friends, family, and in many other ways ... to help us carry on from day to day. Most of all, Father, I thank you for giving your only begotten Son, to die on the cross, to pay the price for all sinners and all sin for all time! In Your Son Jesus' name I pray, Amen!


LOVE2U
5/23/2003 06:12

Hi Deb, ~ Thank you sooo much for the lovely birthday cards. The one you sent today, I had to replay for the grand kids over and over so they could hear the pops and see the lighting of the candles! :) Antone' said, "Grandma, that really makes my day!" I told her, "Mine, too!" So, thanks again, Deb. Thanks also for sharing your successful story of how you quit smoking. I had to smile, because I, too, started smoking at the age of 13, although MaDear didn't find out about it until after I was grown and married. :) I'll never forget the day that my husband offered me a cigarette in her presence, (on purpose), and her comment. She looked over at us and said, "I know Verna hasn't started smoking!" Ha-ha! That is when my husband, David laughed and said, "This girl was smoking when I met her!" Naturally, I could have choked him! :) But, I only weighed about 97lbs at that time, so I figured I'd best not get physical. :) But, seriously, Deb, back then, we didn't know how bad smoking was. Once the word was out, I had been smoking for years and was hooked. But, I want you to know that I have decided to use the one step program; which I purchased over a year ago! I will begin tomorrow morning to try it for the first time. I believe the desire to quit has a lot to do with the success of quitting for good. I still have problems in that area, but I am at a point now that I am ready to give it a try. So, moms ... I'm gonna need Y'all to storm heaven with prayer for sure! :) I'll keep Y'all posted on my success! Thanks to all for your encouraging words. And I ask for your continued prayers for divine healing of the nerves in my left hand, arm,and leg, and right wrist, also. I've been told that my hearing may improve if I stop smoking, so you know I'm gonna try hard! :) God is good! :)
Love and (((HUGS)))
Verna


LisaLou862
5/23/2003 09:14

Hi Angel Moms,
It's Lisa and I am in very deep valley days. I just can't seem to get it together. I don't want to do anything but cry and I won't do that openly. I am back at work and hating every minute of it. My therapist cancelled on me this week because she was sick. I hope she gets better fast. I haven't posted in a while for no other reason than depression. Dont' want to talk to anybody, don't know what to say, etc. All I know is that I am just truly miserable and I can't seem to get myself out of it. I try to tell myself all of the good things that I have to be thankful for but I just keep going back into sadness. I just want to die. Christopher's teacher emailed me yesterday and said that he didn't pass the semester in English so he will have to take summer school. So, he won't be walking at the graduation ceremony with his class but with the summer school graduates. And that is ok, really, but somehow I feel responsible, like I failed again. It seems to bother me more than him. I don't know why I try to live my kids lives for them. I am trying so hard to stop. I just want him to be happy and I am SO scared that God is going to take him too. I think the reality of never getting to see Aaron again in this life is hitting me. I think I was just believing that he was just gone for a little while and he would be back. I don't want to be a member of compassionate friends or an angel mom. I want my son back! I am trying to understand why God took him so early and belive that he is in a better place, etc. but I can't seem to get through it. I want some kind of sign that he is okay, happy and at peace. I pray for that so much but nothing ever happens. No dreams about him, no signs of him trying to contact me, etc. I just want to know that he is okay. Please God assure me that he is okay. I'm sorry for coming on here and crying but that is all I can do right now. I seriously need some help, I think I am really going crazy. I keep replaying that night over and over in my mind, my Dad's voice telling me that Aaron was killed, all the lights and sirens at the accident, then his car being pulled away, I keep thinking about the autopsy reports and how horrible his body was, waking his brother up to tell him, etc. And I keep telling myself that his body was only his temporary house and that he is in heaven with God now and has a new body, a better body, and everything he always wanted. I am SO grateful for the 19 years I did have with him. I am so grateful that God made me a Mom and he was my first born son. God, please forgive me if I sound angry, I don't know what else to do. Please help me and watch over all the angel moms. I need you desperately. Please give me the knowledge of your will and the power to carry it out. Please let me do your will today, not mine.
Amen


shaner
5/23/2003 15:26

Hi dear Verna, thanks for your concern, and yes, we are blessed to be covered in prayer everyday with all the love and support that we receive here. And as you know, even us Moms who are further along the Journey than the newly bereaved ones still have our 'bad' days, valley days, we probably always will, but at least we know they will pass, and we're not in that 24/7 pain that we once were, Praise God! Yes, God's love for us is unconditional and in the end, only love matters, the most powerful emotion that God imparted to us all. And out of that love we pray for all Angel Moms, knowing that God hears us, and what greater joy than to pray for them, and be so blessed that they pray for us!
May God bless you too dear Verna, and give you all the joy you can stand, :)
Much love & Hugs,
Sandy

 
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