Prayer Circles

Hey there, Sandy! I've missed reading the posts and I've neglected to stay in touch with you. I'm sorry! I hope you are well! I see you are still busy helping other people in their grief of their losses of their children also! You are special and I think of you often. I think of our sons, and I see young men everyday that remind me of what we are missing in our own lives because they are no longer here with us. Shane would be proud of how you have helped so many people who have come to the circle and the website. I hope your family is doing well and in good health. I stay very busy most of the time. I'm not sure why though! I think it helps me, but I also go to the point of exhaustion alot too. I guess it's the way I cope.
Please take care of yourself. God bless you! Love, Barbara(Babbs)

Dearest Selva, you are in our hearts and prayers and we are all sending you Love. Rest and know We Love You and more importantly so does God. Bless You Dear One and when you feel better we know you will Post but we're ok, Bundhes of Love & BearHugsssss Donna

[Part 1]
Hello Angel Moms one and all!:) ~ Thank you from the bottom of my heart for praying for me during this trying time. I think I am doing better, but still have not heard back from my doctor on the last test result. Needless to say, I have missed being able to post often, but I know that for now, it is a cross that I must endure. Your thoughtfulness, your prayers, but most of all, your love has done much to help me carry this cross and refrain from over doing it. I know you understand. For that, I thank God each and every day! Even when I am in the valley, I don't worry, because I know I am surrounded by angels, God's grace, and the power of your prayers and your love. Angel Moms, as always, you are the wind beneath my wings! :) And, for that, I am truly grateful! I made a promise to myself and God, that I would not get emotional, or come unglued tonight. I also said a little prayer for each Angel Mom, and asked God to bless and keep each of you and your families in His grace and loving care! For as you already know, there is absolutely nothing that can separate us from the love of God!

Dearest Verna, Today I rested alot and sleep that happens sometimes but I'm doing fine, for some reason I can copy I think but not paste so back to the books but will keep trying critters all took cover today cold and windy except scrub made an appearance just long enough to eat a little,I hope your feeling better too, I loved your e-mails too. Im gathering a notebook of all the Beautiful pages plus I love to send them on. Mike thats my hubby is coming to understand how important they are and how much good they do and now he pops in to say how's it going, how are the Moms. He's beginning to understand and sometimes hears me cracking up and I show him forwards and He's says "Hey these are really beautiful" sometimes I find a good one but I can't get it to you, my friend told me that funnytaf freezes her computer so I send Spiritsup which she really likes, Take Good Care and I hope you did something fun. Love&BearHugsssssssssssss Donna

Sandy, Selva, Deb, Donna, Yvonne, Cindy, Lisa, Tammy, Thank you for the beautiful and uplifting fwd pages that you send to me daily. Words cannot express just how much it means to me that you would take the time and make the effort to encourage me at a time when I truly need it the most. I have faith that this, too, shall pass, and before long, I will be back in full force, doing individual post to each of you, and also our other precious Angel Moms. It is such a blessing to know that we have a this warm, wonderful, caring circle of Angel Moms we know we can count on in our hour of need.

Dearest Verna, We Posted at the same time and I saw yours as soon as I was done, I'm sorry for this trial and for the Valley Days, you are as all the Angel Moms the wind that takes us above the Valley and helps us to a better place too, we need you too and as we've said you make a difference for us that lets us know too we are Loved. My Hope and Prayer is maybe tomorrow will bring an answer,Love & God's strength and peace, one day at a time Dear Friend. Love&Hope Donna

Hey Donna! :) I see we are posting at the same time. I decided to wait and sign on late, since I, too, rested up today, and got plenty sleep earlier last night. :) And, I am finding that I do feel better when I don't over do it. Donna, did you receive the email that I sent to you with the steps on how to copy/paste? The reason I ask, Yvonne informed me that most of my emails have come up blank on her computer. I am still trying to figure out what happened, because I sent to all at the same time. I know that you, Selva, Lisa, and I think Sandy responded to most of the emails that I've sent recently. My daughter, Cheryl, said that it could be some minor mistake that I've made, or some other technical reason that I don't recall right now. :) Anyway, please let me know if you received the one I sent yesterday with instructions for copy/paste. :) Also, Donna, I dearly love hearing about your little critters! What a unique idea to give each of them a name! You are so talented. I have share some of your beautiful critter stories with my hubby, daughter and grand son, Steven, and Grand niece, Antone'! :) They all love them! So, keep them coming. :) My computer also has been freezing up when I try to send fwd pages and emails! AOL allows a block on Popups, and sometimes I wonder if that has something to do with the problems with the fwd pages! Maybe things will settle down soon. :) I also need to clear out my junk mail. Sometimes, emails are returned when there is no room in your mailbox. Also, I need to make sure I have not blocked my desired mail. I missed and did that once, and the error message the senders received said that I was no longer accepting their emails. Sandy and Cindy forgave me because they understood. Some on my email list, (not angel moms), were quite offended. ha-ha! Oh-oh! Gotta finish up and go get some rest. Make sure you do the same, Donna, or our Angel Moms will get on to us tomorrow when they check the times on our posts! :) Take care, and send another critter update as soon as you feel up to it!
Much love&BearHugs2U2!:)
Verna

Dearest Sandy, I love your twisted and crazy side they make me laugh which is becoming a sound that I never would have thought would come again and if I do something twisted or crazy my hubby just says "Yup certifiable" which is good medicine for him, I tease because I Love you just the way you are and yes we know the Valley Days pass much easier but I also know the pain is unbearable sometimes and yes we are fortunate. Since coming to this Haven of Love the precious memories come now which were so Blocked before and yes tears still come but its different because Joy comes too. When I hold Mikeys baseball I remember a boy fifty pounds at best rounding up the guys and heading to the field and Justin and him together heading out, sometimes they carried Mikey home but that smile said it all and I try real hard to stay there and not what came later, God gave him such Spirit thats why my heart aches for Just he lost his Best Friend but he carried on and he made a team from the people he worked with and they came in first two years ago. He kept Mikeys glove and Bible and I see similaries now that I couldn't before the intensity for life the Spirit that won't quit and that Bright eye look once in awhile. Thanks to All of you and your prayers and Love I've come a long way since I first came here to this circle so with all MY HEART I couldn't have made it, when it was bad with pain I thought of where each of you were and it helped me your e-mails and prayers got me here Please don't forget that so I push harder why because my push reminds me, I won't get where I'm meant to be All of you Push. The first few years I felt like everything was a push when I wanted to stay in bed and not go to work I pushed when I had to be with people I pushed, I had to pack Mikeys room by myself we had to move I pushed thats all Mikey knew for eleven years how could I let him down but now its a differnt push and as much pain phyiscal thats there's been I would rather face that than the Heart. Why am I babbling because I want Angel Moms to know someday somehow it will get better and the pushing becomes easier and you stop wanting to die and beauty replaces the pain that peirces the Heart. I'm not special but your Love and understanding and Storming Heaven got me to a better place in my life, I smile again I cry sometimes with the joy of remembering what was good and those final years go further away and I body surf much better why because of all that has been shared among these pages, Christina Marie is spoken to others and I say My Love for both her and Mikey to others and I know there is a coalition of Angels and my babies are with them that makes a powerful force for God and for us when Verna sent me a letter and there was my Christina's name and all of you that visited Mikey and said Hi and filled two pages with Love. You are all so awesome to me Shane Solange Diane Mathew Aaron they aren't names they are alive in my heart and Randy and Jason,Dennis, Andy, Kelly, Melissa taught me so much before I ever came here. Than it was PAIN now it is strength. So you through your Love&Understanding helped to Heal a Broken Spirit. Remember Always Love beyond measure Donna PS Lisa how do I find your page? let me know I'd like to say Hi.

Verna, I got your message fine its me and this machine its an xp but its not following the directions so know you did great its me and this machine but I have every intention of winning. So don't worry you did a great job of teaching. I'll let you know when I win the war HaHa and when I can't send you know me I find another way and I think those folks who get offended as Sandy would say PHOOEY! Love & Rest & BigBig BearHugsssssssssss Donna

Angel Moms, the following is a copy/paste. :) I had my daughter Cheryl to type the words to the song that Auntie made reference to in the down memory lane email that I shared with you ... [When MaDear realized she could no longer get out of bed, she told Auntie that she had prayed, and that she didn't know what else to do. That's when Auntie told her, "You just stand ... I'll stand for you!" :) I just wanted you all to know the entire message of that song! Perhaps you have heard it. If not, I promise, it is worth listening to!
Much love & BearHugs,
Verna

Stand
VERSE
What do you do when you've done all you can
And it seems like it's never enough?
And what do you say when your friends turn away,
you're all alone?
Tell me, what do you give When you've given your all,
and seems like you can't make it through?
Stand and be sure
Be not entangled in that bondage again
You just stand, and be sure.
God has a purpose. Yes, God has a plan.

Tell me what do you do when you've done all you can
And it seems like you can't make it through
Child you just stand
You just stand
Stand
Don't you give up
Through the storm , through the rain
Through the hurt , through the pain

Chorus
Well, you just stand
When there's nothing left to do
You just stand
Watch the Lord see you through
Yes, after you've done all you can
You just stand


Don't you bow , don't bend
Don't give up , don't give in
Hold on , just be strong
God will step in and it won't be long
VERSE
Tell me, how do you handle the guilt of your past?
Tell me, how do you deal with the shame?
And how can you smile when your heart is broken and filled with pain?
Tell me what do you give when you've given your all
Seems like you can't make it through?


After you've done all you can
After you've gone through the hurt
After you've gone through the pain
After you've gone through the storm
After you've gone through the rain
Prayed and cried, you’ve prayed and cried
Prayed and cried, prayed and cried
After you've done all you can, you just stand.

Child you just stand, when there's nothing left to do
You just stand
Watch the Lord see you through
Yes, after you've done all you can
You just stand.

REPLY: Lyrics to Donnie McClurkin

Hi Angel Moms,
Donna and Verna.....I see you two are a couple of night owls. Gosh, you guys were up late. Verna, what a beautiful post (the song). I didn't get that email. Please re-send to LimaBean@houston.rr.com Donna you can go to LaeAnn.com and then click on the personal link and then to Missing Aaron. This is my stepdaughter's website and she made this page for Aaron. Donna, I am storming heaven with prayers for your Dad...please let us know how things are going. Sandy, thank you so much for the emails, they are just beautiful. You too Selva. I have been keeping myself very busy this weekend. We painted my bathroom and I still have to finish the trim and touch-ups today. Saturday I had to go into Aaron's room briefly to get something and I don't know what came over me. I just started crying and sobbing. I could hardly catch my breath. I was just all of a sudden overcome with pain. It lasted for a short while and then I talked myself out of it. That is really the first time it has hit me so hard and out of know where. I told myself I will not go back into his room for nothing and had to send Randy in there to get what I was looking for. I don't know if that is the right way to handle it or if I should make myself go in there and deal with the pain.??? Anyway, I am better today and have a bunch of things to do. I will try to post later tonight. God Bless you all and know that each and everyone of you are on my mind. Love to All,
Lisa

Correction! Debby I am storming heaven with prayers for your Dad. In my earlier post I called you Donna. I will get you guys straight soon I promise.
Love,
Lisa

Dearest Verna, How Beautiful and Thank you for sharing with us. Love&Joy Donna

Heavenly Father, Be with us this week as we journey through the Valleys please help All the Angel Moms where there is sorrow please hold them in your arms for without you we can do nothing but with you we can endure and make it through, Please in your enduring Love keep our Angels in Rembrance and give us Your Strength to go on with Love and for those whose grief is to much to Bare hold them close to your Heart to make the journey. You gave so much for us Help us to open our Hearts to Your Love. Amen Donna

A candle is lit and the Sisters will be praying for all of us this week. May the light dispel the Dark may the flame bring you Hope and above all the candle is lit for the Remembrance of All Our Precious Angels and You. Love Donna

Hi all you Angel Moms.Firts of all, Verna what a beautiful poem and beautiful e mails, but I'm keeping an eye on you and I think you are overdoing, just rest and read our e mails and posts, but WE NEED YOU, so please my sister don't over do it, you know we all love you and know that you are there for us, but you have to get your health up and running and we are all praying for you. Donna and Sandy you are so special, really , when I think of you I know that Jesus is smiling (he does not do that ofter when He watches this Earth) but all of you Angel Moms are a blessing for Him, you are doing part of the job for Him, so He has more time taking care of people, Lisa, I go through the samething when I go into Solange's room, everyday after work, my Dr adviced me to stay at my sister, she said after all, Solange its with me no matter where I am. I soon will have to take apart Solange's room because we are building a house at my sister's backyard (it is a big one), and when I think of it I get chills down my spine, because I have not move anything from her room, but time will tell, and if God wants me to build that house, he will give me strengh to do so (I hope so). Well my sisters I did not go to work today, I continue with my bacterial infection (?), I'm feeling very weak, it has been two and half weeks with this diahrrea every 15 minutes, I'm taking pedialite, and I have an appoinment tommorow with this gastroenterologis (I hope I spelled rith) at 2 pm. then he will (according to my Dr) make some procedures to find out if its really a bacterial infection or whatever, I will let you know tomorrow night what did the Dr. said, I'm feeling rotten, in the Valley and physically not very strong. Debby, please let us know about your Dad. Love you my sisters, and I will get back to you tomorrow. Love Selva

Hello Barbara!! What a nice surprise to come here and see a post from you! I forgive you Barbara, :) But please drop by every now and then and let me/us know how you're doing. I'm doing alright, like everybody else I have my bad days, but I'm learning how to live with the grief, so that's a step forward. Ah, you're very kind Barb, and just the other day I was thinking of Jason and wanted to go to his site and post something, so coincidentally, here you are! I don't believe in coincidences anyway, I think God has a Hand in all! Yep, I know what you mean, Barb, when you look at other young men, and think of what our sons are missing, most of Shane's friends are married now and have wee ones of their own. Are you still working at Nursing? Sounds like you're very busy, but don't overdo it, you need time for yourself too. I hope your daughter and hubby are well also, and as I said, don't be a stranger, you're missed here, and I hope your own grieving isn't so painful now. God bless you too Barb, and I still pray for you, you're pretty special yourself, :)
Love Sandy

Hello our dear Verna, yes, it's me, the official time-keeper, :) what are you doing posting so late at night??? I guess it's time to write Cin and Cheryl, so be prepared! I'm teasing ya, but seriously, take care of yourself, just like Selva says too!
I'm very happy to read that you're doing better and I pray that the Dr. gets back to you asap with the results.
Yes, dear one, we are praying for you and standing beside you as you go through this, and I know it won't be much longer until you're back in full force again! Oh, you're welcome for the pages, fwd.'s, etc., I'm so happy they help lift your spirits and carry you through this time of trial. Thank you for the lovely ones you send me! We love you and miss you, but we know you need to rest that hand and arm, and get your general health back to normal!
OH, I love that song "Stand", I've heard it twice now, once sung by BB Wayans, and then again with his sister CeCe. It's a beautiful song with a beautiful meaning, and it's all the more special for you, bringing back the wonderful memories of your Auntie saying that to MaDear! You rest dear one, and our love is still beneath your wings, and prayers are floating up to Heaven,
Much love,
Sandy

Hello my dear Donna, as Lisa said, another nightowl! Hmm, who can I tattle on for you....., ha, ha! Well, I guess as long as the 2 of you are getting your rest during the day, it's one consolation, :) I'm glad you like my krazee, twisted side, it comes part and parcel, :) and I'm so happy that it makes you laugh, especially when it's been a while since we have, and the ripple spreads, affecting Mike too - that's wonderful! Yes, we'll always have those Valley days, how could we not, but then we're lifted out by God's Hand, what a loving God we have! Ah, that is so beautiful to hear, that this Circle of Love helped you unblock the memories, and yes, cry, with joy, remembering all those terrific memories, and yes, cry sometimes too, when the pain hits. What a humbling and wonderful compliment to this Circle of Love, this Haven, and I am deeply touched as I know the other Angel Moms are too! Our Lord has deeply blessed this Circle.
What wonderful memories that we hold in our hearts, I can 'see' Mikey, all excited and happy, playing with the guys, and Justin and his friends sometimes carrying him home, I know what you mean, I hold tight onto those good times and try so hard not to think of after, I want to stay in that moment as long as I can too. Justin loving his brother so much, and then losing him, his brother and best friend, it's so hard on the siblings, especially when they're not that old themselves, trying to make sense and purpose of it all, God love them. How precious are Mikey's glove and Bible to Justin, and how wonderful that you can see the sparkle in his eyes, the intensity of life, and the Spirit that won't quit, it must bring great joy to your soul. It warms my heart so much to hear you say how far you've come, this Circle was the catalyst that ignited what was already inside you, our love and prayers I know helped you, as they help me, but you have much inner strength and love of God, with all you've been through and are still going through, you're an amazing, inspiring woman! You suffer physically, and never complain, and yes, I know, I would gladly suffer physically too instead of the intense suffering of the heart. You're not babbling dear one, you're giving love and hope to our newly bereaved Moms, who only know that intense pain right now, God love them. You are special, every Mom here is, and I'm overjoyed that you found this Circle and became one of us, our love and prayers have helped you, and your love and prayers help each and everyone of us too, each in our own needs, to arrive at that special place too, each according to their own time. Yes, there is a coalition of Angels, each name known and loved and spoken of, and you have filled our pages with your beautiful words and love, which touches my heart and I know those of the other Angel Moms so much too! Our Lord helped us with love, understanding, support to help heal your broken spirit my dear one, and you do the same for us with your great love and heart! May you always spread your love here, and make that ripple grow by leaps and bounds! Love forever to you too, our dearest Donna, and oh yes, Big Bear Hugs too,
Love Sandy

Oh gosh dear Lisa and my sister Selva, I have to answer you tomorrow, PLEASE forgive me, but our neighbours just dropped in - Lisa, you don't have to do anything that's painful for you right now, and my dear sister Selva, now I am worried about your health, you've had this 'bug' for a long time now, so PLEASE let us know what the Dr. says!!
Much love to you both, and I WILL post to you in the am.
My love & prayers,
Sandy

Good Morning Angel Moms,
Donna, the e-cards were just what I needed, thank you very much. Selva, I am worried about you and this bacteria thing...please let us know asap what the doctor says. I think 2 weeks is an awful long time to have that. I bet you are feeling very weak. I will say a little extra prayer for you today. You are so special to me and the other angel moms....please take care of yourself. Debby, how are you? Dad doing okay? Sandy, I went on Aaron's website this morning and read your beautiful post. Thank you very much. You know, last night I was laying in bed wide awake (couldn't sleep) and was thinking about how odd it is for me to know SO many bereaved parents with a surviving child named Chris or Christopher. A few of the parents at my Compassionate Friends group have sons named Christopher and a few of the angel moms here do too. I don't know why but I just thought about it yesterday and thought how odd that was. What do you think? Is it just me? Verna, I love the emails, thank you so much for thinking of me.
***************************************

Do any of you attend Compassionate Friends? There is a conference coming up the 3,4,and 5th of July and was considering going. Have any of you seen the information or interested in going?

Love to All,
Lisa

Hello dearest Lisa, gosh sweetie, it's terrible when the pain hits that hard, it does literally take your breath away, and you can't even verbalize what it feels like. I call it the 'stabbing, biting pain', that hits you from nowhere and and hits hard. As I said, though, if going into Aaron's room right now is too painful, then don't right now, you'll know yourself when you're ready to do it, and it doesn't matter how long it takes. You handled it the best way for you, there's no right or wrong way, each of us in the early stages should only do what's comfortable for us, so please don't feel badly, when the time is right for YOU, then you'll be able to go into Aaron's room. I hope I'm not bringing up the pain for you again, I just want to say that what you did is OK, and very normal in your grief.
Did you get your painting all done? The room must look so nice now newly decorated! I'm so happy that you enjoy the fwd.'s, pages, that I send you and all, and thank you for the nice card you sent me! It was my joy to visit Aaron's website, it's very beautiful, and I just had a little talk with him, :). It's a wonderful way to honour his life, a loving tribute to him! Ooohh, couldn't sleep last night? Thank goodness you don't have to go into work and can hopefully have a nap today. Gee, I've never thought of that before, so many siblings with the name Chris-Christopher. I know the year that our Chris was born, it was starting to become a popular name for boys, so maybe that's why?? But hmm, now you've got me thinking.
You attend Compassionate Friends Support Group? Good for you, our Support Group, Bereaved Parents, is sister-linked to them. I attended the meetings for a year and received a lot of support and help, and I still drop in from time to time to say hello to our Counsellor Rita, and some of the Moms who still attend. I don't know if any of the other Angel Moms attend it, but I'm sure they'll let you know. It sounds interesting, if you do go let me know how it went. They'll probably have a lot of guest speakers who are knowledgable about losing a child.
Take care of yourself dear Lisa, and lots of love to you,
Love Sandy

Our dear Selva, my sister, that's very nice to say about Donna and myself, BUT you are just as special, with your big, loving heart that makes Jesus smile, a BIG smile, and I know that Donna will agree with me! Selva, you told us that you had a bacterial bug, but you didn't tell us it was going on this long! Please dear one, let us know what the Dr. says, and take care of yourself, we need you here and want you to get well!
I know you're still in the Valley, sweetie, and little wonder you're feeling rotten and weak. Love you lots, and we all want you to get better!
Prayers and love to you,
Love Sandy

My dear Deb, we're all worried, we haven't heard from you, but we're praying for your Dad, Mom, you and the family, please post and let us know how things are going, prayers and lots of love to you,
Love Sandy