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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

4/26/2003 15:22

Hello dear Angel Moms, I hope you're all having a peaceful weekend after a very trying week for all.
Deb, I'm SO happy your Dad's doing better, and I'm happy to hear that Donna's suggestion of reading Psalm 91 helped you!
Donna, I'm so happy that God led you here too, not only for the help that Circle, this family, has given you, but for the great love for all that shines through your posts!
Selva, I know it's still very rough on you, as well as Eva and Lisa, and I'm very happy you found this Circle too, you have such a big, loving heart also!
All you Angel Moms are so special, I love you all!
Verna, I'm so happy too that your tests came back alright, but I know you still have other health problems so please take care of yourself, we need you here!

Yes, Selva, we have an outbreak of SARS here, it's mainly in Toronto, it made it's way here from a businessman who unknowinly had it and flew from Hong Kong to Toronto on business. And before Dr.'s and Scientists were able to identify it, many, many were infected. The Dr. here who identified it became infected himself and passed away from it, God love him. And yesterday the youngest infected so far, a 44 yr. old man in perfect health beforehand, passed away too. They're doing their best to contain and understand it, the CDC is here also helping. They keep saying it's safe to travel to Toronto, but I live a 2 and a half hr. drive from there, and I wouldn't go!
Love you all dear Angel Moms, and I pray that God has all of you in the Palms of His Loving Hands.
Love Sandy

4/26/2003 15:36

A friend of mine that I haven't heard from in a while phoned me last weekend to wish us a Happy Easter. During the conversation she mentioned Shane's name, and then said "oops, I'm sorry". And I said don't be - I love hearing his name! And then I came across this from my support group that I attended and wanted to share it all with you, it's SO true!

The Mention of My Child's Name

"The mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you are my friend, Let me hear the beautiful music of their name; It soothes a broken heart, and sings to my soul".
Author Anon.

Love Sandy

4/26/2003 18:56

hi sandy,selva,yvonne,& donna and any of the angel moms who i have missed.

i have talked to my mom again tonight and my dad is doing good and in his joking mood. he isn't complaining about going home any more and my mom told me that when i made him go (hospital) on thursday that he was reay to go. he had gotten his medicare card and id ready for me so we caould give it to the lady at the hospital. his heart dr said he is doing great and his family dr is th one who willmaybe let him go home on monday but we have to wait and see from what the test say. thank you all so much again.

sandy how true it is to hear ar chid's namefor the beautiful music we hear in our hearts and ears.


dear father, today i say a prayer to thank you for listening to all the prayers tht my dear friends and family hear at ths prayer circle have said to my father, i pray that you will continue to hear them and answer them as they come your way. i ask this in your name the father, amen.

4/27/2003 02:28

Dearest Deb, I'm am so happy and relieved that your Dad and family are doing much better. It is the most wondrful news. I will keep you in my prayers and my heart until they have given him relief and I pray Deb that God will give you a time for healing and for peace, this was a tough Journey and God will always hear you when you call, I'm Glad Psalm 91 gave you comfort I Love the passage of God folding us in his feathers to take refuge. It is such a Blessing to me ever since I read the Psalm to think of climbing on his lap and resting beneath his Feathers. We are truly Blessed that through his word we find a Father of Tenderness who will shelter us with the gentleness of His Feathers. Just as we rocked our children so will He. Thanking for sharing with us and we all have found Joy in knowing your Dad is recovering. Love&Hope Donna

4/27/2003 02:35

Dearest Sandy, you expressed what my heart yearns for and it is so true. My hubby and spoke of this silence and when Mikey is remembered or spoken of it has helped my heart. Only here were my children spoken of without fear but embraced and it has been the sweetest Blessings. Here our children are remembered with the desire to know them and they make our Hearts grow bigger and there is solace for the soul. Thank you Sandy for sharing with us what we all need to hear. Love&BearHugs Donna

4/27/2003 02:52

Ps, Sandy and for all of us the world has presented much Fear for a long time, a friend was very ill and taught students and has an exchange student who just came back from Taiwan, she sought help immediatedly and Thank God it was not this awful virus, Sandy and for all of us this would be good to add to the prayer list for those who suffer and for us to be aware, Sandy, I didn't realize you were that close to Toronto, Selva when you got ill I was afraid and when you were quiet I prayed you were just resting and I was so glad to see you post Dear Sister I did my snoopy dance. We have all had a week of depth and challenge. I spoke with my hubby and am aquainting him with how to get in touch with you if the need ever arise, maybe we could all have someone to reach us if any of us are ill or an emergency arises so we can 1. Pray 2 hold together in Love and a phrase I have come to Love "Storm the Gates of Heaven". When I was to have surgeries all I could think of was how will I let you know I'm ok but visiting the hospital my hubby panicked and said I can't talk to them so he is learning your names and he knows how much a family you are to me, I think having a contact person is good. What do you think? Sandy,take good care and Thank God a new week is starting. LoveBunches Donna

4/27/2003 18:36

Hi Deb. I', so grateful that your dad is feeling so much better, see, our prayers do work, he will be fine, youl see. Hi Donna, I'm sure you will be fine too, remember that we "storm Heaven" with our prayers, mine might not be so strong as Sandy and Verna, but it comes from my heart. Dear sister Sandy and Verna, guess what {with he help of pills} I slept last night and got up at 11 pm, the first time since Solange went to Heaven, that did a lot of good to me, I slep at my sister's bedroom and she tried not to make any noise for me, the poor thing she tries so hard for me to rest. We had a horrible storm yesterday, but id did not do so much harm to the garden, just a little bit, I'm waitin to hear from Verna to see how is she doing. Donna, my sister knows about you all, so in case of anything, she will keep you all posted. I'm doing OK, just the stress is not helping my blood preassure, but I don't mind, I just want to be with my daughter. Please take good care of yourself. Just wanted to tell you all that I love you very much and you are part of my family, all of you. Love my my sisters. Selva

4/27/2003 20:31

Hello dearest Donna, the saying is touching and oh so true, isn't it. It resonated in my heart and soul when I first read it, and it still needs to be read, not for us here at the Circle only, but those who do remain silent when it comes to our child that's passed away. My friend thought that she was bringing up pain for me, but I gently explained that we NEED to hear our child's/children's name, the silence itself is what is painful, and like you and so many other Moms, I've experienced it first hand, and sometimes I want to scream don't you remember him. But here at this Circle we all talk about our children, we find joy in knowing other Mom's children, and no, there is no fear but only love when we speak of them to each other! And knowing each other's child, or in some cases children, does make our hearts grow bigger, and it's a wonderful blessing in this family, this Circle of Love.
Much love,

4/27/2003 20:36

Hi dear Deb, you know I'm very happy that your Dad is doing so well, and I pray that he will be released tomorrow and be back in his own comfy home with your Mom!
Love to you dear Deb,

4/27/2003 21:27

Hello my friend, you're so right, the world has known fear for a long time now, and it greatly troubles me, there's a loss of innocence that we can't seem to get back. Oh, I'm so happy for your friend that it was not SARS or some other incurable virus, I can only imagine her relief! Yes, it would be very nice to put it on our prayer list, it's not only in our Country, but your's also and other Countries around the world. I heard on the news that someone in Australia has come down with it, so it's becoming global. Yes, I live that close to Toronto, it's a wonderful, diverse city, with a very large population, and we would take day trips there quite often. Two and a half hrs. if I'm driving, 2 hrs. if my hubby is, :)
I think that's a wonderful idea to have a contact person, I'm 100% for it, we are a family here, and we would want to know if one of us was ill, etc. I understand your hubby's reluctance to let us all know when you went in for surgeries, and I think it's terrific that he's getting to know us by name, that's so sweet, my hubby knows all your names too! You take care yourself, and yes, Praise God for a new week coming up.
Lots of love & Bear Hugs,

4/27/2003 21:51

Hello my dear sister Selva! What are we going to do with you, :) Your prayers are just as important to Our Lord as anyone else's! Always remember that dear one!
Oh, Selva, I am SO happy to hear that you finally slept through the night and even slept in until 11 !!! That's wonderful and how beautiful to finally have a night of peace. You're so fortunate to have your loving sister there for you, God bless her! Another bad storm? Well thankfully the garden is alright, and you were safe and sound!
Selva, you're not doing fine if your stress isn't under control and your blood pressure is high! Please my dear sister, I know you're still 24/7 pain, but take good care of yourself, we all love you here so much, and need you, so if you're having a bad day, please tell us! OK, enough of that, I'm just overjoyed that you had such a good sleep, and we pray for more and more of those nights for you! It does show that you are getting a little better, one step at a time, one day at a time.
Love you bunches our dear Selva, and you're always in my prayers and heart.
Much love,

4/28/2003 01:50

Dearest Selva, I'm fine its you I'm worried about and I remember your prayers on every page and when any of us are in need through your darkest days you have prayed for us and the only prayer worth saying is the one from the Heart and Yours is pretty big, Please my friend and sister do not belittle your prayer life I'd hate to think where we would be without your prayers, God hears the Heart not the mind, one of my favorite movies is Jesus of Nazareth and at one point he says to Judas "open your heart Judas not your mind." Your prayers have meant so much to me and to all. I hope you will sleep like that with peace more and more as time goes on, and now our prayers have been answered, your sister is so Loving and I'm glad you have her in your life and we know you take care of her too. Maybe with the new medicine for sleep your blood pressure will get better, yes I understand your wanting to be with Solange but remember we Love you and we are here 24/7 so when it gets that bad post write till you can't write anymore everything I'm saying is the same as Sandy,we remember but we are here to say slowly even when we don't know its happening the pain lessons so someday the joyful memories come without pain and you find yourself laughing about them and all that grief blocks out starts to come back. It took me a long time but mostly because I didn't talk or share and kept running away like I was failing God if I grieved or that if I did I'd never stop. I was wrong maybe those precious joyful memories would have come back sooner, yes sometimes an ocean wave hits but the 24/7 does stop. Sleep well I'm not sure why your thought I wasn't ok it was my friend that had the scare and she doing better. Love and Hope Dear Selva.

4/28/2003 02:18

To My love Marky I miss you!!
May you watch over us with the Agels and Until God comes for us I just wish I could of told you I love you Oh YA!!
Say Hi to your Nan Na!! May Jesus hold you in his arms now and all the other sons and daughters that have went home to be with the Lord I love you Jesus
And may I say Amen....

4/28/2003 02:30

Dearest Verna, I know its a real bummer not to write so we will write to you. I wish I knew a funny joke or something to make you all laugh but if you could see the characters that visit our yard you would, we have scrub a dub hes a scrub jay that has visited faithfully since he was born and now he is competing with a squrriel for his peanuts and he comes to the porch and ask very nice and pretty instead of sqwaking at me now its low and rubs his beak together and flys off so I can through the peanuts he got to close once bless his heart and has learned to get way out because I pitch Badly. The squirrel came right below me to the right creeping ever so stealthly and found a peanut and was very happy till the wind blew and my neighbor who is a terrific gardener {his whole back yard is one big veggie garden} any way he has these medal lids that blow in the wind and scared the little guy and he ran the wrong way all along the line of medal lids clanging and took off for his life he didn't come back today so scrub a dub had a feast and you could tell he was feeling his oats by the way he flew. Then the roadrunner made for a good challenge there is a ponderosa pine by the end of the drive where I have two bird feeders well yesterday it got really quiet, spring is never quiet, so I knew something was up {we had a hawk come in the fall } so I thought uhoh and went to take a look and I couldn't see anything{thats how well he blends in} and the wind came and he only flicked a tail feather so I clapped my hands which usually works it worked on the hawk but not this guy he look at me as to say {sure lady in your dreams I'm waiting for my dinner} well I got the stick from my rake and banged like it was New Year, he jumped one branch to get a better look at me, than my dander got up and I told him in no uncertain terms "You aren't eating these babies again and yelled and banged so my neighbor came over and said whats up and I showed him {they've gotten very accustomed to me talking to critters of all sizes. So he told me spray him and I told him my hose didn't reach that far so kind heart that he is he did. We thought the problem solved, I have never met a bird so stubborn he came back immediatedly then my neighbor got his dander up and really squirted him and that was enough for him and he didn't come back today so the wee ones were safe for today. Yesterday I was sitting on the porch just about 7 looking at the sky Thanking God the winds were quiet bird were happy and all of a sudden I heard this noise like a big buzz and I knew it was flying and as I turned around Whoosh not an inch over my head a humming bird let me know he had arrived he the first I've seen so spring is truly here, Thank God no stray dogs yet, my girlfriend across the street and I are convinced we have invisible neon signs that says stop here and then the season begins they sleep under her porch eat and water at my house till we can get some proper help the animal control gets out witted everytime and my hubby says Donna and I say Yes Mike and he says remember and he does a litany of names and says are you going to feed them and go through all that again and I go yes God made this a pit stop and he shakes his head and say Here we go again and I pray God today would not be a good day for a pit stop. Spring has Sprung and nature is in full bloom. Not any flowers yet just critters. Well thats the end of my tale and I hope it makes you feel a little better Dear Verna. I'll try my best to find some jokes to send. Love& Joy Donna

4/28/2003 02:46

Deark5420, Glad you came I'm sorry for your loss of Marky and can tell your hurting pretty bad,what a beautiful prayer, I hope you will come back and post again and let us know how you are doing, Marky knows you love him, he knows your heart, why do I say that because in a place of divine Love that is all that exist and they can tell what is in our hearts, as you read some of the post you will see each of us has had our regrets something we said something we didn't say,be gentle on your heart it is breaking. I don't know you but I'm glad you came to this circle here Love grows through the pain,its ok to let out whatever you feel we've all been there some are at the beginning some a little further. I have found a lot of healing here support and Love and a family of uncondional Love. God Bless You BearHugs Donna

4/28/2003 03:06

Dearest Sandy, You have been a rose that drops petals of Love for all of us, its great that to know you live 2to2and a half away but Toronto sounds awesome and I like that our Hubbys are willing to know the Angel Moms and willing to be a contact. Thanks for your words of Love and Understanding and expressing with grace what I've been asking God about, friends family are so afraid to say Mikeys name even knowing its ok they want to move on and I thought the same thing as you they exist in us and always will and my heart feels sad for them some may be trying to protect us but I think others are afraid of there own pain, maybe through all of us they can learn it's ok we may not always feel it but we are a brave lot. Yes I do feel the Love from Angel Moms I don't sleep till I check in and know whose where and was today better, I can't imagine my life without any of you apart of it Eva, Lisa Selva and Spacelee we know these are the toughest days and we are praying, and sending Lots of Hugs and for all Angel Moms where ever you are we are hoping and praying that a miracle will make your heart feel a fuzzy warmth of Love from all of us here. Yes I'm leaving but not my Love or Those BearHugs you never know when you never know where but you'll feel it. Love to All and Peace for the moment the hour the day. Donna

4/28/2003 20:27

Hi all you Angel moms. I'm in the valley again, I passed by my house and sat a little bit at Solange's room, looking at her dresses, her shoes (she loved shoes)her make up, pictures, wallet, and everything came down on me, I miss her soooo much, her room is just how she left it, I can still smell her perfume, I stared at the mirror waiting to see her but nothing happened, I don't know what to do anymore. I thank you all for your e mails , it really does help when I'm down, its been only 8 and half months since I've seen my daughter. All I ask from God its to let me see her one more time and to let me know that she is happy, but He does not listen, that is why I think my prayers are not good enough, I'm sorry Angel moms, I know you try to guide me through this awful journey, but I feel so tired and discouraged! sometimes I wonder if I would make it through. Why? I do not understand, Solange was such a beautiful Angel, good to all, helping all, so WHY did God took her away? I don't know. will I ever accept it? I don't know. I will keep on trying. Deb I'm happy your dad is doing well, Verna went to the Dr. today, but she still does not have the results, her hands are swollen. Sandy my sister, what I will do without you, Donna, Verna, Lisa, Eva, Yvonne, Debby and all you wonderful Angel Moms. I love you all. I'm going to take a pill now and see if I can sleep some. Love you all. Selva

4/29/2003 09:10

Dear Selva, I'm so sorry you are so down right now, I can feel your pain, I too have been where you are and still feel like why did it have to happen to my Joe, he was such a good boy, and it does feel like you just can't make it sometimes, but you will. God does hear you Selva, please believe that. He loves you and knows your pain. He will answer you in the way that will be best for you. Don't give up on Him and your prayers are just as worthy as anyone's. Like Donna said He listens to what's in your heart! I believe that God has reasons for these things happening to us. He allows it to happen but He doesn't cause it to happen. There is something about the suffering we go through that changes us into the child He wants us to be. I really believe that, I'm totally different from the way I was 3-1/2 years ago. Not that I wanted my son to die for me to change, but this is just what has happened to me because of it. You will get through this Selva, but that's the only way is through it. And there is so much pain in this grieving our loss. Accepting it is a process that takes a long time and everyday that passes brings you closer to that. I don't know if I'm quite there yet myself. But my pain is not as great as the first year, it does ease, I never believed it when others would say that to me, but it does happen, I'm praying for you Selva. Keep hanging in there, God will not let you down.
~~~ Dear Father God, I lift up Selva to You and her broken heart. I pray that You will let her see Solange if only in a dream. I pray for You to give her Your peace and comfort to her heart as she continues on her grief journey. We don't know why these things happen to us Lord, but we keep on trusting You with our lives as You are our only hope. I ask You to give Selva much needed rest today and bless her with every good thing from above. In Jesus Name, Amen. God Bless you Selva. I love you.
Love, Yvonne<><

4/29/2003 15:50

Oh dear Donna, that's such a sweet thing to say, but everybody's love here is like the fields of wild Lavender that grow in Provence, with all of your souls permeating the beautiful fragrance. I'm happy that my words helped you out, it really is difficult with family, friends, and as you say, it's difficult for them also. They thankfully don't know this pain, so we have to give them some latitude.
I'm sure Verna had a good laugh over your post, I know I did, and hopefully it won't be too much longer for her hand and arm to heal and she can post.
Yes, I agree, you can't help but feel the love and support from all of these beautiful Angel Moms, and I know that their prayers have helped me through some rough times, and I thank you all!
I can't imagine my life without all of you in it, and when a Mom doesn't post, I worry about how she's doing.
Oh - hold on a sec, what do you mean Mrs. Lux that you're leaving but not your love or your Bear Hugs, (: we all need you here, so I pray that you meant that you were leaving for the night!!
Love, prayers, and Bear Hugs to you dear one,
Much love,

4/29/2003 16:13

Hello my dear sister Selva, oh sweetie, I can feel your pain in your post, but I'm very happy that you're talking to us about it and letting it out. Sitting in Solange's room and seeing all her belonging's just as she left them, and still able to smell her perfume, I know you sit there and think "she should be wearing these shoes, or putting on her make-up, or her dress", all of these things bring up much pain for you right now, but trust us when we tell you that in time you will smile when you see those belongings and remember the good memories of where she wore this, or what shoes she had on for that, etc. I know you don't believe us right now, I wouldn't have believed it either when it was only 8 and a half months since I lost my Shane, I would have thought what is this person talking about, they don't know the great love that I have for my Shane and how his passing has put a very large hole in my heart, but please my sister, it IS true, and I know it now, the big hole in my heart is now covered with a huge scar, and one day your's will be too.
Your prayers are good enough, and God will answer them for you in His perfect timing, and we'll pray also that you have a visit from Solange in your dreams. I hope you're still getting a good night's sleep, Yvonne and Donna gave you some good advice too, we all know how terrible it is in the beginning, because we had to go through it too. So my dear sister, we walk beside you on your Journey, not behind, not in front, but right alongside you, with our love for you and for your Solange, and one step at a time you will make it, and yes, your prayers are wonderful, music to God's Spirit, and He knows they're good enough, and so do we! God bless you sweetie,
Lots of love & prayers to you our dear sister,
Love Sandy

4/29/2003 20:17

Hi my dear Angel sisters, Thank you so much for your prayers and e mails, they mean so much to me. I went to my Dr. (medical) today, for I still sick from my stomach, he told me it was not a virus, but a bacteria, I was taking pepto bismol and emudium like crazy, he said not to do it, it just makes it worse, so he prescribed some kind of antibiotics, and in 5 days I should be fine, I really have a hard time, because I've been going to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so, and today I had to make an errand (I will tell you that story some other time) its a very sad one, but it was something I had to do, and it was not easy, I had to get some case number from the police, from a missing niece, since 1984, it was not easy it brought back a lot of sad memories, but they found some human remains in a canal, that were supposed to be old (she dissapeared in 1984, 20 years old), anyway I wanted to spare her mother from doing that, so that did not help me at all, you should see all I had to do to go to the bathroom and keep my turn at the same time, you would laugh, then I tood some more immodium and had a little help, but it increase my bacteria or whatever, well it was not an easy day for me, but finally I will get the medication and get this over with. The last time I ate was yesterday at 12, and very little, so I'm going to eat some now, because my Dr. told me I should eat or I will get worse. will post tomorrow, I received an e mail from Donna, she will be fine, she found another Dr. and aparently things will work out for her. Thank God. I have not heard from Verna, I'm sure she will be OK too, her test were OK. Well my sisters, Thank you again for your prayers, I really need it so much. Love you all. Selva

4/30/2003 19:42

Hi all you wonderful Angel Moms. Thanks so much for the beautiful e mails, thanks Yvonne for visiting Solange memorial, that was sweet of you. I did not go to work today, had a very bad case of diahreas, my Dr. said it is a bacteria, sort of food poisoning, I don't understand because I have not gone out for 8 and a half months, and my sister eats the same, but what can I say, I'm feeling very weak by now, but the prescription its working, so I will be at my office tomorrow, I tried to edit Solange's Memorial to put her picture in it, but no luck, I will keep on trying. Verna sent such a beautiful work of art today, that I was crying in the nice way, I hope you all received. She did not tell me how she was doing so I pray that she is much better, Sandy you have been so quiet, why, Donna thanks for the emails that really helped, Debby I hope your dad is still doing well. You will be all in my prayers. I love you Selva

4/30/2003 19:46

Hello dear Selva, I hope you're feeling much better by now and your tummy has settled down and no more Immodium! Oh my gosh Selva, that must have been a very difficult thing to do, I'm so sorry for your relative and niece, after all these years, I pray that it's her and her mother can properly bury her and know that she is found and with them. That's so sad, yes, please tell us the story one day.
Oh, once again I'm sorry, but the way you described having to stand in line and having to 'go', I started laughing, I can just picture it, I've had that happen myself when I've had a stomach bug or flu!! Make sure and eat, even if it's something light, you don't want to lose your strength. Take good care of yourself, we love you and are praying hard for you and everybody else!!
Much love,

4/30/2003 19:51

Hello dear Selva, we were posting at the same time, ha, ha!! Oh, you're not feeling all that great, so please take it easy and rest up, and as I said, don't forget to eat a little.

Wasn't that the most beautiful thing that Verna did for us all? The tears welled up in my eyes when she sent me the page, truly a special gift, and of course I LOVE it!!! THANK YOU OUR DEAR VERNA!!!
Take care and I love and pray for you all,
Much love to all,

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