Prayer Circles


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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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Leander72
4/20/2003 07:03

Dearest Sisters, My heart goes out to you Selva, it is not easy to endure the holidays Mikey went home on an Easter morning and I knew my heart should rejoice but I was still devasted and though I was glad he wasn't suffering any more, this is the seventh year and I can say finally it is better it was like having two anniversaries the day he died and then Easter Sunday this Easter I focused on the meaning of Easter but it has taken seven years and I do not partake of Mass or I would be undone, it takes time and you get through the best you can, I thought alot this year that our children are our gifts and somehow they fullfilled the purpose God sent them here for but it takes a long time to get there so be gentle and try to get through as best you can, grief is our way and we need to shed the tears and unfortunately we must feel it or we would be certifiable. I like your plan, you always come up with a way to make it better for everyone else and I wish I could spend this day all of us together, crying laughing sharing precious memories of our beloved children, thankyou all for you lovely forwards and e-mails, my heart is with you all today and as I lite a candle for my children it will not be just for them but for all our Angels, I'm sure Heaven must be incredible joyful today but I know we must find a way to get through. I think Jesus's Mother would understand what it is like for her arms were empty and she had to watch her beloved son taken from her. You are in my heart and prayers and I pray somehow even if its a moment there will be a memory so sweet to make you smile and I know how it works then the tears come, my love to All, Verna I know you are taking good care but I've been praying for an Easter miracle for you so you will have your health return to you. May God Bless You All and Grant You Peace. Eva, I'm glad to read your post and that you have the support of another group. God has answered our prayers for you. Thank you Dear Sisters for all your Love and e-mails each has been Cherished and I do wish You A Happy Easter wether it be a moment, a sunrise or sunset or just getting through the Day Love&BearHugsDonna


SELVAM
4/20/2003 17:46

Hi all my sisters Angel Moms. I send a card to you all but a lot were returned, anyway I just wanted to say, Have a Blessed Easter you and your family. I have good news, Sandy got a new computer, her son gave it to her so we will have her on the Circle pretty soon, that makes me very happy. I'm having a very quiet day with my sister, it has beedn hard, my first Easter without Solange, it's not easy, but I'm hanging on to God. I thank you all for your e mails and your prayers (God knows how much I need it). I thank you my sisters, if it wasnt for you and my sister and brother, I don't know where I will be, but I'm sure you understand, it's only 8 months and I can not stand the feeling of missing my daughter soooo much and I can not see her or talk to her, or kiss her and hug her, it is really very bad, but I will try to continue in my journey with the help of God and yours, Love you all. Selva


shaner
4/20/2003 20:00

Hello my dear, sweet Angel Moms. Selva my dear sister, my dear Verna, I am typing this through my tears. I had to read your posts twice, for it to sink in. I'm at a loss for the right words to express how touched I am that you dear Moms were going to buy me a computer. I'm overwhelmed at your love and generosity, but mostly at your big, loving hearts! My dear sister Selva, what you posted hit me squarely in my heart, what a truly beautiful thing for you to do for me! And our dear Verna, what a beautiful loving post from you with your big heart too! No, I can't hush-up right now, my heart is over-filled with the love you've all given me, you are all truly amazing women and I'm very, very grateful for all your prayers too! Saying thank you doesn't seem enough to say to all of you, I'm still at a loss for the right words to express how my heart has been deeply touched by Selva, Verna, and everybody else! My husband just read it, and he is very touched also that you would do something like that for me. My Angel Moms, I appreciate your offer so much, but as I said, I appreciate more the love behind it! No, I could never accept such a gift from you beautiful souls, but the love that prompted it is the most wonderful gift a person could ever have. I thank you Selva, Verna, and anyone I haven't mentioned, because I'm having a meltdown at the moment, so please forgive me, you know I love you all and am very blessed to call you all friend! By now I hope you've all received my letter about my Chris buying one for me, my other much-loved son!
I can't say it enough how you've touched my heart, and I ask Our Heavenly Father, through His Son, Our Lord and Saviour, who we're celebrating the ultimate gift of love today, for us all, to bless all of you tenfold for your love and support. I love and pray for you all, and I am a richer person for knowing all of you!
My prayers, love and support to all of you, you're always in my heart.
Much love to all,
Sandy


shaner
4/20/2003 20:28

I'm a blubbering mess at the moment, I forgot to thank all of you for your Cards, letters, and fwd.'s. Thank you all, and Verna, take good care of yourself, Eva, I'm also very happy that you joined a support group, but don't forget about us, :), Donna, thank you for all you've done and for keeping Shane company while I was gone, and I know how hard these holidays can be, when their your 1st, or as in your case dear Donna, Mikey passing away at Easter. I'll write more tomorrow, just wanted to say hello and thank you for all your love and support, we are one family!
Lots of love & Bear Hugs,
Sandy


LisaLou862
4/21/2003 09:18

Hi Dear Angel Moms,
I am in and have been in very deep valley days. I just can't seem to get out of it. I did not celebrate yesterday either Selva. All I could think about was not seeing Aaron. I wanted to go to the cemetery SO bad, but it stormed all day. I did go to a new church for the Easter service and it was very beautiful but made me cry. I have been reliving that night over and over in my head the past few days and I just can't believe it. I still keep waiting for him to come in and call my name. I can just hear him saying it. I don't want to work, I don't want to do anything...I just want to die, but I know I have another beautiful son to finish raising. I worry constantly about him. I try not to but I just can't help it. He will be 18 in a few weeks and I am so afraid of him leaving home.(not that he spends alot of time home anyway) but it just worries me. I will feel SO lonely and no one will need me anymore. What am I going to do? Ok, I truly feel like I am going crazy.
Love you all,
Lisa


SELVAM
4/21/2003 18:44

Hi Lisa my sister I understand you so much, I went to my Dr last thursday and told her I just could not go on, all I have in my mind is the night Solange had the accident, the police, the hospital, the hours just seing her lying on that bed without moving, with her head bandaged and all her beatiful hair that she took so much care of, it was gone, do you know she was wearing a wig when we sadi goodby, I understand Lisa, the Dr. told me it is part of the process, our brains are playing tricks on us, I'm sure all the Angel moms that have been longer in this grief will tell you that they all went through it, just talk about it, don't let those feelings inside, we all understand, you are not going crazy, I will forward an e mail from Verna, with an article about grieving, this will help you understand what we are going through. You are lucky that you have another son, I have nothing left, you have to understand that kids have to go on with their life, that does not mean that he will forget you or stop loving you, remember when you were that age? Just think, that someday he will marry and give you grandchildren, I can not look forward to that, just let God do His job, He will know when and what your son will do and why. But remember he will always be your son no matter where He is. Cry and let your feelings out, specially in this Circle of Love where we understand each other so much. I love you my sister, remember I'm going through valley days also, but we have to keep helping each other and let our feelings out, that is very important. Please keep on posting as many times as you need it. love you Selva.


SELVAM
4/21/2003 18:50

Hi Sandy, I just read your post, please you make me blush, I'm sure you would have done the same thing, just one thing I want you to know, Verna really did a good job about finding your address and all, but enough of that, I'm really happy that we have you back again. I sure need you. Also Donna my sister, thanks for the beautiful e mails and posts, I tried to send you Solange's picture but don't know if you received it, I'm still learning how to use the scanner. I've been in the valley and did not write too much, but I kept you all in my prayers, I did try to hold fort for Sandy, but really I'm going through rough times. Thank you my sister for thinking and praying for me. I love you all. Selva


SELVAM
4/21/2003 20:37

Hi Angel moms; Just want to share Verna's idea, (before I go to bed early) I send Verna a picture of Solange, she sent me one of Dianne, so she its working at it to make a photo album of all our Angel kids, so we can share the moments, photos and happiness that they brought into our life, you know she is kind of sick and must rest but she wanted to share this with all Angel moms, so as soon as we figure out how to make that album, we can all share our Angel's pictures and then make a reunion and talk about our Angel kids, isn't that a wonderful idea, Verna would come up with all this wonderful things. The minute she is better and can post I'm sure she will give you details about it. Please pray for my sister Verna, she needs to get her health back together again, if we all pray, I'm sure God will listen and Verna will be fine soon. Love you all. Selva


shaner
4/21/2003 20:41

Oh dear Lisa, my heart goes out to you with the pain and grief that you're experiencing. But it's only been a while for you too, your pain is raw and still fresh, and you're still in the shock and disbelief stage. I was the same way, the first year I'd pray to God every night to bring me home too, I wanted to be with my Shane. It didn't mean I didn't love my other son, it was the intense pain that was making me think that way. I would still 'expect' Shane to come walking through the door, or hear him yelling "Hey Mom", I could picture him clear as day sitting in his favourite chair watching tv, and the worst was I was so sure that I had seen him in a crowd, and wanted to go chase him, only to have reality set in and realize it wasn't him and my heart would drop even further. I spent the first year or so on 'auto-pilot', I'd go through the motions, but inside I was dying with the pain and thinking that I too, was going crazy. Grief brings up so many emotions, and so many thoughts, you're very vulnerable right now, so please allow yourself to feel this and write here about it, only by telling our story do we let the pain out. Shane died in March, and then in May our other son Chris graduated from University and was immediately offered a job in another city. I tried so hard to be happy for him, but as you feel, it made my grief worse, I felt as though I had lost them both. A Dr. who specializes in Bereavement wrote this - "The early stages of grief over losing a child are characterized by disorientation, emotional numbness, mood swings, trouble eating, sleeping, a replaying over and over again of the events surrounding their child's death and short term memory loss. One of the first questions parents ask is 'Is this normal, or am I going crazy?' One of my easiest tasks is to reassure parents that what they're experiencing is normal, and they need not worry that they're going crazy" - Dr. Dennis Klass.
So we all go through it, and whatever you're feeling is OK!! This is a Circle of Love, with all of us holding each other's hand, forming a Circle with love in the middle of it burning in a candle. Sorry this is so long, :) but I just want to reassure you that you're not going crazy, your feelings are normal, and please continue to post here and let them out, we all love and support each other! (I promise the next post to you won't be as long, :)
Much love & prayers,
Love Sandy


shaner
4/21/2003 20:59

Hello my sister Selva, I know you're having a hard time right now also, I hope my letter to you helped. You didn't let us know about Danny? I pray everything worked out alright.
Of course I would do the same for you, but what you wanted to do touched my heart deeply! So Verna was a good detective huh, getting my mailing address, :) Yes, all of our prayers are with Verna that she becomes fully healthy again and can (in her own words, ) have all the joy she can stand!
Oh, that's a wonderful idea from Verna, God love her, it would be wonderful, but first she must rest and get her health back! Thanks for holding down the fort dear Selva, and you know you're in my love and prayers, all of you are, You're in my heart!
Lots of love,
Sandy


shaner
4/21/2003 21:02

Dearest Donna, I pray you're doing better, but you need your strength back too, so rest dear one! Lots of love & Bear Hugs to you,
Love Sandy


Leander72
4/22/2003 05:13

Dearest Sisters, I weep for your pain but I know the only way through to healing is going through the insanity of a broken heart, yes we think we are certifiable but no one wrote a manual, I had Justin to try and get to a better place and my hubby we needed to heal but trust me we all get hit with the dark night of the soul and I ask God to send his Angels to protect you and hold you through this time. We are put here for God's purpose and it made me angry that after all Mikey went through one struggle after another it ended in Death. I thought I was ready and strong enough, we would have to be robots, but let me say Lisa after seven years its easier but it still hits like an ocean. I can't send a picture of Mikey because of what the cancer did and I can always see the tumor. Selva we are your family, its not the same I know Dearest but we are here and no I don't know what your journey is like but I pray for you and I cry for your trials have been many. I don't go to Church on Easter not because I'm angry with God but I'd cry because I see my Mikey dead and them carrying him out and I think a part of me did die for awhile but finally the good memories come the precious ones and I hold them close. Mikey's Dr. said " They will know agony for awhile Mikey but then the bad fades and the good returns." Being here has helped me Lisa nothing else ever did because here you are not alone you are not misunderstood so please come back and let it go we will carry your pain with prayer and with Hope. Remember one moment one hour one day and somedays its moments by moments. Selva you have always reached out through your pain and I think that is your strength from God not letting you give up. When I saw your page for Solange's picture I was excited but it didn't come through yet. Sandy, healing is not as easy as I thought I just get very tired but I'm ok someday this will be behind me I'm more worried about our Dear Verna, and have lit a candle and asked for the Sisters to pray for you and all my friends they are true friends indeed. Sandy, I'm so glad your back online YIPPEE! Love to All Donna


LisaLou862
4/22/2003 08:29

Angel Moms,
So I went to the ob/gyn yesterday and they did a endometrial biopsy, gave me some hormone pills to stop my period and told me if it didn't stop in 3 days to call them and we will have to go a step further....whatever that is. I am not really worried but I just don't have the strength to deal with this. I am just SO tired. I come to work and get totally beside myself because I don't want to be here. I keep thinking about all the things I said and did to Aaron and never got to say I was sorry. Things when he was small, like spankings, groundings, etc. I can't get them out of my mind. I keep remembering my Dad's voice on the phone that night when he called, I am remembering me calling other people and it all seems like it was just a bad dream. I keep thinking things like...I need to call Aaron or I need to fix this for dinner for Aaron, etc. Then I have to tell myself that Aaron is not here, but I just won't believe it. I am about to explode with feelings that I don't know how to deal with. For some reason I won't talk to people around me. I feel so alone. I just need someone to understand and for God and Aaron to forgive me for all I've done. I feel so ashamed, like I was not a good mother. Like I could have done better. I just want to crawl in a hole and die. I need some hope but I don't know what to hope for. I don't want anything...just to understand. Please help me.
Lisa


SELVAM
4/22/2003 15:35

Hi Lisa, my dear sister. I understand you so much, I go through the same feelings, guilt of the things I said and did, I keep begging Solange for forgiveness, but you know what Lisa, we did what any other mother does, trying to keep our kids fine, teached them what was good or bad, I'm sure you are a good mother and so was I, but our grief its so big that it does not let us think straight, I heard somewhere, that when people die, they become so much understanding and loving, its like a veil is taken out of their face, that same veil that we have now ,that makes us human, aour kids don't have that veil anymore, so they understand now why we did or said the things we said, and their love for us its so great, they have no bad feelings at all, they are in another level, they are superior to us now, they have the love of Jesus and the love us more than ever. Don't feel bad about thinking that way, just try to understand what we are going through its the worse pain in the world, nothing compares to that. I also don't go out, don't talk to anyone, don't want to see anybody, I just talked to my co workers, and only when I feel like it, they respect my feelings and understand. We are not alone, we are jus grieving badly, our children are with us, we just can't see them. Be gentle withyourself and one more important thing, keep on posting here and let your feelings out, we all know that feeling, we are here for one another, I Thank God for taking me to this Circle, everyday, these wonderful Angel Moms have helped me so much, I can not thank them enough. Please my sister, remember it is only 8 months for me, so I'm going through the same feelings, I lost all I had so now I have nothing to live for, I will be here just waiting for God to call me to go and be with my Angel again. Cry and let your feelings out. love you Selva


Leander72
4/22/2003 18:02

Dearest Lisa, Selva you prove my point everytime what would we do without you. Lisa, hormonal imbalance is helping and is making your grief and perspective worse. I do hope the medicine works. Aaron would never be as hard on you as you are on yourself, Amen to what Selva has said, I don't think God purpose ends but I've read enough to believe as Selva, God forgives you Aaron forgives you but forgiving ourselves is the hard part. We all did our best but from every family I've been with when they lost a loved one Guilt was ready to walk in, I examined everything I ever did or fed Mikey, yes I made him cry sometimes from hearing a concern and had to apologize he forgave me long before I could, how I wish we could all hold you through these days as well as Selva, these aren't words just written but I drove myself to a breakdown with guilt some how it all had to be my fault right WRONG when you feel it write it out tear it up and ChucK it away I think you are wise to be discreet, talking to others will come but to one who understands who you can be with like a counselor who knows about Grief someone in the same room and when you can't be there be here, YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER and we will tell you that eveyday we will Storm Heaven for God to Lift this horrible burden. You have told us about Aaron, he's a good kid he made it to Heaven because of your Love and teachings of that Love which you gave everyday. Fighting grief is a battle of the mind, heart , and your soul. Hormones are as powerful as grief and you are battling on two fronts. Float when you can Body surf the waves and remember WE LOVE YOU. Love&Hope&BearHugs Donna


Elparro
4/22/2003 19:07

Having major valley days...Like most of you..I did not "celebrate" Easter Sunday.It was our first Easter without Matthew..My oldest daughter called me and told me they met up at the cemetery...She bought Matthew a Easter bunny and laid it there at his grave...My brother and his family left some plastic easter eggs..I could not bring myself to go to the cemetery.for that day I was in a deep depression.I did'nt want to talk to anyone...did'nt even want to be bothered..the only calls I took was from my two daughters..and even then I had to put my emotions on hold..I don't like to upset them with my crying...the weather that day did'nt help much....rained all day.I had to then focus on the real meaning of Easter...Father, thank you for your son Jesus..I believe with all my heart he has risen and will come again to take us up with him to Heaven and we will be reunited with our dear loved ones!!!!For that day will be GLORIOUS!!!!I tell myself I want him to come now...but then I think about all my family and friends who are not ready for the Rapture...and wonder what are they waiting for? God brought me to my knees....though times I shout to him.....why Lord? why did you allow my son to be taken from me? there had to be another way for you get my attention!!.why take my son? why bring me to my knees? I'm sorry Father..when I don't please you..forgive me when I don't do the things you have burdened my heart with.Help me Lord to be what you want me to be...help me to "listen" for your voice when you speak to me..Help me Father to hold on to you when I feel like letting go.Help me to press on for you and the work you will have me do..give me the courage and the strenght to empty all the things that I hold on to..help me to let it go and to let you use me, that YOU may be GLORIFIED Father...help me Father to forgive those who have wronged me..this anger, I know Father it is holding me back from being what you want me to be...I can't seem to let it go Lord Give me strenght to just let it go....empty me...and fill me with love and forgiveness....I miss my Matthew Father...you know our pain..you have seen our many tears...you have seen the days we felt like giving up. Thank you for the strenght....thank you Father for these beautiful moms you have blessed me with...I love you...In His Care I Continue to Press On......Eva


shaner
4/22/2003 19:39

Dearest Lisa! It's little wonder that your feeling so lonely, confused, feelings of hopelessness, etc., grief is playing a big part of it, but so are your hormones right now! I pray your biopsy comes back normal and you don't have endometriosis, and also that the hormone meds. will help you to cope a little better. Also, grieving is hard not only emotionally but physically as well, and you're working everyday, tring so hard to keep everything going at home, as well as dealing with heavy periods - all of this has to be contributing to your lack of strength and being so tired. Selva and Donna gave you very good advice, I agree with them, and yes, guilt comes walking through the door, and we pour over every aspect of our relationship with our child and blame ourselves for everything we ever did to them. Selva and Donna are so right, our children are spiritually advanced than we are right now, and understand perfectly why we did what we did, they hold only love in their hearts for us as does God, the hard part as Donna says is to forgive ourselves!! I believe everyone goes through the 'guilt' phase when you're grieving, even in other losses, it's natural but don't let it get a hold of you, because you don't need forgiving for anything from Aaron, who loves you so, so much, and from Our Heavenly Father, who loves you more than you realize.
Seeing a Counsellor who specializes in Bereavement, Grieving, where you could talk one on one would be terrific for you, and always remember that you have us here, you can write whatever you want, whatever is in your heart, and you know by now that there's no judging here, only support and love. God bless you sweetie, we're all walking beside you on your own Journey of Grief, and please let us know how your test turns out if you feel comfortable doing so, be kind to yourself, take care of yourself, and please learn to forgive yourself and kick guilt out the door.
Lots of love to you
dear Lisa,
Sandy


SELVAM
4/22/2003 20:18

Hi my dear sister Eva. I understand so much how you feel. I didn't even went to church on Easter, I was so down in the valley and also so angry that God tok my little girl, that I felt that I will be a hipocrate if I went to church. I know the pain that you are feeling, its only 8 months for me, I feel the guilt, the bad memories, every time i see a blue car I think its Solange, every time I see a young girl with kind of blond hair I look twice, thinking its Solange, I keep on waiting for her to come and say Hi mom, I'm Ok, I keep on thinking that night when the police arrived at my door to tell me the news, so you see we are all going through the same process, I wish I could die and go to be with my daughter, but we have to wait until God calls,I have no other children, Solange was all I had, and now I don't know what to do with my life, I'm just waiting for God to tell me what does He wants from me, I go on trying to help other people that needs me, but thats about it, I'm wondering if He just want me to seat here and suffer, but I guess and should wait and see what His is planning for me. Please post here often my sister, you know I pray for all of you Angel moms, I pray that you will feel a little better with your job, and that God helps us all. Love you my sister. Selva


SELVAM
4/22/2003 20:25

Hi Sandy, Donna, Verna, Lisa and all you Angel moms, Just wanted to tell you I just spoke to Danny's mom, the poor thing its really a wreck, the postponed the hearing again until july, but she said that it will give the lawyer a little more time to prepare the case, his friends that were involved in the accident are with him all the time, of course one is paralyzed from the neck down, the other is mentally hurt, but they stick together, Danny's guilt its driving him crazy, but he is a little calm today, he has a lot of hope with this new lawyer. The poor thing I hope everything turns out for him, he is really a good guy, and just made a big mistake (all of them were drunk) so he felt he could drive, imagine? I can't help thinking about Verna when I talk to him or his mother, sometimes (must of the times) I don't understand God's way. Love you my sister. Selva


LisaLou862
4/23/2003 08:34

Hi Angel Moms,
Thank you all for your kind words of support. I awoke this morning to another crying session literally forcing myself to get dressed for work. I am seriously thinking about taking a leave of absence. I worry that my boss will not understand though. I go to see my therapist today, maybe I will talk to her and see what she thinks. I am going to a psychiatrist tomorrow to be evaluated, but I don't know if it will be accurate with my hormones being out of whack too. I just don't know. I don't know anything anymore, too much to think about all the time. I wish my brain would just turn off sometimes. Donna thank you SO much for the cards....I loved them and they brightened my morning. Eva, I am right there with you....valley days. I have been praying so hard and so often for God to help me and all of us Angel Moms. I truly want to do the right thing but I am having trouble knowing what the right thing is. I can't seem to make any decisions much less the right ones anymore. Please God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. God Bless All Our Angel Moms.
Lisa


LOVE2U
4/23/2003 11:52

Hello Angel Moms, ~ It seems that the valley days are trying to hold us back. Although we know that nothing can separate us from the love of God, sometimes, it is soooo difficult to feel the warmth of His divine love through so much pain. The words of a song reminds us that we should take our burdens to the Lord and leave them there. This, too, is sometimes so difficult to do during the valley days. That is why it is so important that we continue to pray for strength, and the kind of peace that only our Lord can provide. It is my prayer that God will provide the relief that each angel Mom so desperately need during these valley days. I pray that God will renew our minds daily, giving us the strength to concentrate on our many blessings ... if only for a moment or two at a time. May He reveal His will in each of our lives on a daily basis ... Sometimes even on a minute by minute basis ... Thereby giving us those precious moments of peace for which we pray. I will continue to pray that no matter what the evil one throws our way, we will continue to hold on to God's unchanging hands.

Dear God, ~ Thank You for giving me this day. Thank You for the breath of life, Lord. Thank you for allowing me to wake up, then get up, and count my blessings; which are many. Lord ... Please hear my humble cry. Please give each angel mom the peace that only you can give. Father, I believe in You, and I am so grateful to You for allowing me to reach out to others who are grieving the loss of their preciou child/children. Lord, help us to recall the fond memories, the unconditional love that we shared with our precious children. Thank You, Lord, for reminding me in your Holy Word, who it is that is causing my grief and pain. Thank You for giving Your only Son, so that we might live forever in your kingdom with our children and other loved ones someday. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen


shaner
4/23/2003 19:26

Hello dear Eva, you and I must have been posting at the same time last night, otherwise I would have chatted with you last night! Oh sweetie, your Easter was so painful for you, the first year, which brings the 'firsts' of everything, cause us much grief, instead of the happier times we had with our child still here. Like you, Selva and other newly bereaved moms, I/we didn't celebrate very much that 1st year also, and like you, we concentrated on the real meaning of Christmas, Easter, which was less painful and more spiritually fulfilling to take away the intense pain of the day without our Shane here. For the longest time I surrounded myself with only a few people, but we would never attend family holiday dinners, etc. We just wanted to be alone, our own little family, and that was the most comfortable way to deal with Holidays for us. So what you did for Easter was the most comfortable thing for you, don't feel pressured to put the 'mask' on just for the sake of sparing other's feelings. Eva, God didn't call Matthew back home to 'get your attention' or to 'punish' you in some way, it's natural to ask God "Why?" or be angry at Him, but He cries too with your pain, God loves you and He loves Matthew, far more than we can realize on this side. So please don't be hard on yourself, keep putting your trust in God and hold fast to His Hand, and in your own words...."In His Care Continue to press on", one hour at a time, one day at a time, and let us help you with our love and support. God bless you dear one,
Love Sandy


SELVAM
4/23/2003 19:41

Hi my sisters Angel moms. I'm not a good help tonight, I'm in deeeeeeep valley days, I'm tired, sad, angry, missing my daughter soooo much, I'm sick with a stomach virus, I'm a mess. I'm sorry for not helping you out tonight I will try tomorrow, I just want to go and be with Solange, well it's one of those days. I love you all, please pray for me a little bit. Thansk Selva


shaner
4/23/2003 19:52

Hello my sister Selva, thanks for the up-date on Danny, his mother must be so worried over the situation, God love her, and Danny himself. I think it's wonderful that his friends are sticking beside him and have forgiven him, and yes, postponing it until July will give his lawyer more time to prepare his case. Young people just don't realize unfortunately that even having a few drinks and then getting into a car, makes that car a weapon, and they never think that they will be the one's to cause an accident, so it becomes a very unfortunate mistake for all involved. I pray that the Judge will see Danny's remorse and not be very tough on him, and I pray that Danny has learned from this, as you say dear Selva, he made a huge mistake, and you know him and know that he's a good kid, he just wasn't thinking. I did get the picture of Solange and Juny, and I replied to you to let you know I got it OK, but my reply was sent back to me saying no such address?? Computer glitch I guess!
Such a beautiful picture!! Take care dear Selva, and tonight I pray you sleep right through,
Much love,
Sandy

 
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