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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.

3/9/2003 15:31

Hi Sandy, Verna, Donna and All you Angel moms. Well I did get "some sleep" but I had to take a sleeping pill prescribed by my Dr. I think that besides the stress and all that 24/7 pain, it was due to the fact that today is OPEN HOUSE CALLE OCHO, that means the lasgest street festival in the nation, calle ocho means 8th St., the closed the street from 27th ave to 4 ave, this is a very long part of the street, then in each block there are different latin orchestras with the most popular latin singers, andd all kinds of latin types of food from all different latin american and caribbean nations, the cubans started this today its the 25th aniversary, at the begining it was quite good, everybody dance in the street etc, but at time went by it grew so much that now people come from all over the US, when Solange was little I used to take her "with handcuffs" imagine!, so she would not get lost , then as she grew up like 15 and 17 she went with her friends, but for the las 2 years she never went back, because there a so many people you can't even walk, 1 and a half million people last year, my sister lives 5 blocks away from calle 8, so we can hear the music etc from the house. We barricaded ourself inside the house with our 3 dogs and rented a few movies, but I can help thinking how Solange enjoyed it, the weather today will be up to 89 so I'm sure she will be going to the beach, so I make believe she is at miami Beach with her friends today. Sandy, my brother brought me the forget me not , yesterday, but guess, you no men, he brought me seeds instead of the plants, I said, helloooo, why didn't you buy the little plants, but he did not know what it looked like, so he went for the little envelopes that said the name outside, the poor thing, we were so busy yesterday with the taxes, that he planted it , now all I need is pink roses, anf of course Lillies, you can count on it, the garden is starting to look very pretty, the sun flowers are blooming and so the different color flowers, I put a fountain in the middle, and then Jesus in one side, and a little bird bath and a bird seeder on the other, when everything blooms I will take a picture and hopefully I will have the scanner by then and send it to all of you. I will be praying for all of you today, I can't wait for 10 pm so that party will be over, they let out fireworks at the end, but I'm not planning to llok at it this year, too painful. Love you Angel Moms. Selva

3/9/2003 22:14

Dearest Selva, Your memories of Solange are so beautiful and the festival, handcuffs thats sounds pretty smart and sure,it is hard that the places and events that brought us such joy now bring sorrow,I'm glad your sister came and you could find something to do together,the garden sounds colorful and a peaceful place,God Bless Men they do try so and then they look at us like WHAT? they mean well,I can't believe how much is growing already,I hope tommorrow will be easier,do you feel peace at the garden.Love to you and sleep well.BearHugsDonna

3/9/2003 22:58

Dearest Sandy, Your e-mails and card were so dear,thank you, I hope you got some sleep today. It is true we all seem to come to this haven in the wee hours but its quiet and much better than thinking, the week I was gone I felt restless and didn't sleep and thought way to much,coming here I know how everyone is and I can visit the memorials and this has been a garden of Love and support. I'm thinking of Eva who has had a terrible time getting rest or peace and when someone hasn't posted I'm hoping they will come back soon, I think your Husband is swell to go and walk the dogs and spend time with them yes I think you would bring them all home Sandy if you could. Thank you bunches for your e-mails and forwards. Thats how I start the morning sending Love to my friends so far away and your ABC was precious but I can't print my e-mails anymore and lost it when deleting the other messages, I just love hacking out a new system UGH! Selva I'd love to send to you if you would like me too. Let me know or any Angel Moms let me know at my infor site it has an e-mail address.I see my Dr tomorrow and can't wait to tell him of a group of Moms whose courage touches my heart and lifted me up and found peace Thank you my Sisters for you make a big difference in my Life I'm finally healing after all these years and believe me sometimes I felt so hopeless.With Love & BearHugs Donna

3/10/2003 13:27

Hi Donna, Thank God the festival it's over for another year, according to ne newspaper was almost 1 million this year, the have a picture of it at
if you click at The Miami Herald you can look at it so you'll have an idea of what its all about. I'm back at work today, hoping to keep my mind busy but the 24/7 pain is still there. I received another e mail from the Organ Donor's where they tell me all the recipients are doing well, but the are so specific abour the organs, that it makes me very sad, I told them not to mention the organs but she did not understand, well I had to read it again, that's very hard to take. Also some friends visited Solange's memorial and left some stories which also brings back a lot of pain, even though they all mean well and are very good friends of her. What can I say, I can never have one day of peace. I'm praying hard today for all of us. I will look for your e mail so I can forward a copy of the e mail, even though it hurts, I am very proud of how many people's life she saved, even after she left.Love you my sister, and God Bless You. Selva.
My e mail during the day is, after pm is

3/10/2003 19:35

Hi Sandy. Now its my turn, where are you? I have the feeling you are in the valley, I know my sister, the 15 is a very bad day for us. I will keep you in my prayers tonight. Love you sister. Selva

3/10/2003 19:57

Hello dear Selva, I finally have time to come to the Circle! It's just been one of those days for me, :). Thanks for the link to the Miami Herald page that showed all the people - WOW - it's bigger than Mardi Gras!! It would certainly be something to see, but the crowds of people would make it difficult to get around. mmm, I was getting hungry when they were describing the smells of the different foods cooking! Doesn't Gloria Estefan usually perform there? Oh, I know sweetie, all the memories bring up so much pain in us, as Donna said, once they were happy memories, now they're sad ones. One day, when you're further along your Journey, they won't be so painful. I know the letter from the Organ Donor Assoc. was graphic, and you didn't want to read it all in that context, but as I said to you, take great comfort that a 2 yr. old and a 7 yr. old have been given the gift of life from Solange, as well as the other people, what greater gift could you give somebody? It's truly a beautiful thing to do, and I believe all people should do it. We couldn't do it with our Shane, he had gone too long without oxygen, which was sad, because he always wanted to be an organ donor. So be proud of what you and Solange have done unselfishly for others! Oh, your poor brother, ha, ha, yep, that's men for you, but their hearts are always in the right place, even if their heads aren't sometimes (oops! better not let my hubby see this post), but that's so nice that he planted the seeds for you, thank you my dear sister, the garden sounds beautiful, and yes, we'd all love to get a picture of it when and if you get your scanner. Praying that you have a peaceful evening, much love to you,
Luv Sandy

3/10/2003 20:20

Yes, Selva, I'm in the valley, today we made arrangements for Shane's Memoriam to go into our newswpaper for Saturday, and of course we'll be going to Mass that day also for him, even though it's been 4 years, I miss him every single day. So this week is going to be hard, knowing the 15th is coming up. Bless your heart for thinking of me, I'll light a candle for Solange on Saturday and one for you. Love you too,

3/10/2003 20:57

Hello dear Donna, you're so welcome for the fwd.s etc., and thank you for your's too. Yes, I had a catnap that day, :) and woke up feeling much more energized. I guess it must be nice to come online at night, so peaceful, and as you say it is comforting to read the posts and the Memorials, we're so connected here, as a family, I know what you mean, I get worried when moms don't post, wondering if they're alright. Yes, I hope Eva is getting more rest and is more at peace too. That's a beautiful way to start the day, sending your love to your friends, and it's a wonderful way for us on the receiving end to start our's! Oh yes, it must be fun setting up a new system, that's too bad about losing your printing, I hope you can find a way to get it back. Oh, that's so sweet of you, telling your Dr. about this Circle of Love! I'm SO happy that God led you here and you found the peace that was eluding you all those years and you my dear sister touch our hearts and lift us up, you're such a kind, loving woman, who has a lot of strength and courage herself! We're truly blessed that you're a shining light here and I love you too my dear sister and am grateful for your caring and friendship.
Much love to you dear Donna,
Luv Sandy

3/11/2003 22:09

Dearest Sandy&Selva, I read your post and said a prayer and lit a candle and the Sisters will be praying for you as well. You are not alone and I'm sure we are all praying for you with Love of who you are and all that you have done for all of us. May your journey that is in part alone and yet not alone if we could we would all shoulder your pain and help you carry this heartbreak. Sending Love & Hope Donna PS I think Shane & Solange weep tears too but I think it is with Pride of who there Moms are and what they have had to do and that which you have done with such Love.

3/12/2003 13:55

My name is Lea and I lost my youngest son right after 9/11, from skin cancer. His birthday was not too long ago; he would have been 21 years old. He was such a special Soul and maybe someday I'll be as "grown-up" as he was! I'm really having trouble dealing with it, more now than last year--the numbness wears off, I guess. Plus my husband died 8 years ago, so some days it seems like just too much. My love to all who have been given this unexpected, unasked for and devastating experience; only we know what it's like. May the Blessings Be.

3/12/2003 14:31

Hello dear Donna, thank you for your comforting post, support and love. And that was so nice of you to light a candle for us and say a prayer, I really appreciate it, and I know Selva does too. It's so wonderful to know that we're not alone as we approach the 15th, all of your love and prayers will see us through these valley days. That's such a touching thing to say about Shane and Solange, you're such a kind, loving person, and I treasure you here at this Circle of Love dear friend and I know that we can count on your support, as well as the other Moms. Much love to you dear Donna,
Luv Sandy

3/12/2003 14:43

Hello Lea, and welcome to the Circle. I'm so sorry you've lost a child also, your precious son, only 20. He sounds like a wonderful person, and we all know how painful it is to lose a child. Yes, Lea, the 2nd year can be as difficult as the 1st in some ways, because the shock and disbelief wear off and reality starts to set in, and you go through another round of pain, trying to come to terms with that reality. I'm so sorry your husband is also deceased, I'm sure he was waiting right there to greet your son. I hope you have people around you for support, it's too rough a Journey to go it alone. We all understand here, so please post anytime, you'll only find love, support, understanding and compassion at this Circle. God bless you Lea, and our love and prayers are with you as you go through this.
Luv Sandy

3/12/2003 17:13

Today I washed my car...Ron helped me wash it...It brought back so many memories...the day when Matthew and I drove our new car home...he was killed 3 days after we bought it...I remember how Matthew promised he'd washed it every weekend...I think he had a motive...I was going to let him drive it every now and he could'nt wait to get his license and drive legal...Oh how I wished I would of let him atleast drive it around the block when he asked me that day.. had to tell him we did'nt have insurance yet....instead he settled for just sitting in the driver's seat and listen to the God how I miss heart feels like it's going to bust.I can't breathe at times...Lord knows I can't sleep either...when will I feel like me again?never??????????????

3/12/2003 18:43

HI Donna, Thanks a lot for lightin a candle for our Angel kids, saturday it will be 7 months since Solange went to Heaven, I still can not believe it , I keep thinking she is going out with her friends, goind to the beach, going to the University, I;m still on denial, I know deep inside she is an Angel, helping me and her friends, in her site. her friends has left messages that make me feel proud and sad. I thank you my sister for your support and prayers. GOD BLESS YOU. Selva

3/12/2003 18:48

Hi Lea, welcome to this Circle of Love, you will find understanding here for we all have the same pain, I lost my onlu daughter Aug 15, 2002, so I'm new at this awful pain, but you will find soooo much understanding, love, care and prayers in this Circle that it will help you with your pain, we are all in this, so we help one another. Please keep coming back to this Circle. I promise it will help you a lot. My prayers and love are with you. Selva

3/12/2003 18:57

Hi Eva. Oh my sister I can feel you pain, we are new at this, saturday it will be 7 months since Solange went to Heaven, I know about the memories, the guilt, the if I would have said so, so please my sister you are not alone in this, God wanted to take our Angels, and we have to accept it. Guess what ? I have not accepted it , but I keep hanging on to Him, so that I least could go on into another day. You are not alone, you have all these Angel moms at this Circle of Love that will help you go through with our 24/7 pain. Don't let satan get a hold on you, keep on praying even if you don't feel like it (that is what I do), we will get stronger with the help of God, even if we don't think so right now. Keep hanging in there my sister, our Angels will help us. God Bless you and give you strenght. Love you Selva

3/12/2003 19:02

Hi Sandy and Verna, my beautiful Angel's in Chief. I'm in the valley, went to my Dr today and got it all out but guess, tomorrow its her son's 9 years aniv. I felt bad for she still feels her pain, but everything turned out OK, I'm still in the valley, and also very tired, lots of work, but Thnks God it keeps my mind busy most of the time.Just wanted to let you know that you are in my heart and prayers. Love you Selva

3/12/2003 19:08

Almighty God, We who mourn have great rejoicing, a child taken is brought back I can't stop weeping for you have Blessed us and most of all Elizabeth and her Family the veil has been lifted by your Love O God Thank You.

3/12/2003 20:35

my prayers are with you even now, though some time has passed now, i think one who loses their child will always need prayer to help cope with how much we miss that child and i think as we grow older, we will always look forward to seeing our child in heaven. thanks to jesus christ we know through salvation that we have that option available to us. its hard to face the fact that your child is never coming back,but it is also comforting to know that we can go to them one day. always remember that your son is not just a part of your past, but is now a part of your future. i just lost my 3 year old son devon to brain cancer about 6 months ago. i miss him very much and i think about him constantly. it hurts because hes gone now and it also hurts because he suffered for so long. my only comfort is knowing that hes better now in the presence of the lord jesus christ and we will one day be together and there will be no more sickness and no more death. i hope you may take some comfort in knowing that you will share an eternal fuure with your son and no one can take that from you/

3/13/2003 00:00

Dearest Angel Moms, Lea, I hope you will come here often,there is so much Love and support within this garden where Love grows. I Lost my son almost seven years ago and my baby girl at six months of pregnancy. When I came to this circle I found support and knew that I wasn't alone I was depressed because of losing dear friends last year and when my friend Genie died I was lost I couldn't understand anymore. I read the postings of the other Moms and found a haven, where courage outweighs pains it's ok to cry. I know I'm not losing my mind I'm just certifiable. Blessings to you Lea and come back.BearHugs Donna

3/13/2003 00:03

Dearest Selva you are so dear,I know that through your pain you gave your Dr support you heart is so big my sister, how's your foot and car? Be very good to yourself ok Love&BearHugs Donna

3/13/2003 00:05

Dear Eva I'm so glad you came today as hard as it is right now hold on tight God is holding onto you and we are all sending our Love just keep talking.BearHugs Donna

3/13/2003 00:09

Dear Sandy, you are in our arms and our love is there with you. Blessings to You and Yours Love& BiG BiGBearHugs

3/13/2003 09:48

as I watched the news this morning and watched the reunion of elizabeth smart and her family I thank God for his protection over her .I recall a time when I was at a truck stop somewhere in Kentucky enroute to visit my sister in New York after my son was killed and seeing this poster up in the ladies room...the poster was about the missing Elizabeth Smart,,taken from her home on June was two days before my Matthew was killed..I remember standing there crying...a lady walked in and asked me if I was okay. I told is a child who was taken from her home and now out there is a mother who is lost with the feeling of not knowing where her child is.I went on to tell her my son was killed..and that I know where he is...bless her heart ...this lady and I prayed right there in that truck stop bathroom and prayed for Elizabeth and her family..that God would give comfort to her family and keep Elizabeth safe..and to bring her home to her family..thank you Lord for answering the prayers lifted up for this family....Love you all....Eva

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