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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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shaner
3/6/2003 19:55

Hello sommerville2000, and welcome to our Circle. I'm very sorry to hear of your grandmother's losses, the latest her daughter Bernie. Losing a child is the most painful event that a parent will ever experience, it takes a very heavy toll emotionally as well as physically on a parent, especially a mother. Thankfully God is very good to grieving moms and helps us with our grieving. We do a lot of praying, and blessedly others pray for us too. Your grandmother, God bless her, is grieving for her daughter and it's no doubt brought up memories of her other child that she lost. She must be in so much pain, and thank goodness she has all of you around to support her, she needs it so much right now! Of course we'll pray for your dear grandmother, that Our Lord will wrap His arms around her and comfort her and give her His peace, which surpasses all others. And we'll also remember your Aunt's children. God bless you for posting here and our love and prayers are with you and your family at this time,
Luv Sandy


deborahpoo
3/7/2003 17:25

Hi shaner,
we ended up with 18 inches of snow and the last tw days i was home because of the weather. we ended up with 71/2 inches of new snow yesturday. I have been having a har time. i don't know if you heard about the Rhode Island club fire? i lost two friends and one is still fighting for his life and it's been a little hard for reminders are every where she was and hung out.(sara telgarsky) we graduated jr. high and went to high and (sami miceli)lived two blocks down the street from where i lived and graduated with my sister and my brother and his ung together. and my husband knows sara's ex-husband who is fighting for his life so you see how it's been really hard. it just brought up about the loss of my son Michael and how i miss him so with my sister having her baby and he is not here to celebrate this with us.
father i pray to find the strenght and couragement and guide me the way and i pray that you will help my friends and there family's through these very difficult times as they wait for answers i ask this in your name the father amen.

debby


LOVE2U
3/7/2003 17:44

Dear Mrsrebel, ~ My heart goes out to you in the loss of your precious daughter. Having lost my daughter tragically and without warning, I can tell you that I have felt the kind of grief and pain that you are living with daily. I don't have to tell you there is no greater loss than the loss of a beloved child. I want you to know that I have been praying for you daily, since I first read your post on March 3. Due to an injury from a fall, I have not been able to keep up with back posts; But, I want you to know that not a day goes by that I don't think about you, your precious 15 month old granddaughter, and the indescribable pain I know you are feeling constantly. I also know that you are still in shock, and everything about life in general, has changed for you. You are no longer the same person that you were before this terrible thing happened. It seems so unfair ... And, it is. Just why bad things happen to good people, people we love so dearly, we will never fully understand on this side of heaven. But, I can assure you that God cares, and so do all of us here. We cannot change what has happened, no matter how much we wish we could. Nor can we make the pain of it all go away. Again, we wish we could!What we can do, however, is strom heaven with prayer for you ... Be hear for you, 24/7, and help you make it through the many valley days and the many special days. Those of us who have been on our grief journey a while longer can even assure you that the pain won't always be so intense, and that it will become easier to bear. Chances are, you won't be able to believe it at this stage in your grieving. I know I didn't, or couldn't, when I was in the very early stages of grieving the loss of my daughter, Diane. And that's OK. Nevertheless, it will happen. How soon, we cannot say. As Sandy often reminds us, there is no time table when it comes to grieving the loss of a precious child. The grieving is so painful, but we must go through it in order to allow the healing to begin. We never get pass our loss, but with God's help, and the love, compassion, and understanding of family and friends, we eventually learn how to live with our grief ... Believing in our hearts that God will give us the necessary strength we need to make it from day to day. And, as Sandy said in her post to you, it's so wonderful that you have your granddaughter, 15 months old is such a cute age, and she's a living legacy of your daughter for you to hold, hug, and most of all to love. She is a part of your daughter. My Diane did not have children.:( Both she and her husband wanted children so badly. They later divorced, but remained friends. But she left here with the hope of someday being blessed with two children; a boy and a girl. She even went as far as to name them. :) This was revealed in a paper that she wrote in a class she was taking at one of our local community colleges. I discovered it a year or so after she was killed while going through some of her belongings that she had placed in storage. The assigned topic of the paper apparently was:
If I Knew I was Going to Die. That was one of her wishes ... To have children immediately "if" she was told she would have at least two more years to live. She also stated in the paper her reason for wanting to have children. The reason was: So that a part of her would live on. Whew! ... Valley time here! Just treasure your precious little granddaughter, as I and the other angel moms already know you do!:) And, every chance you get ... Give her a (((big))) hug from me and all the other angel moms! May God keep you both in His loving care! Please post back to let us know how you are doing.
LOVE2U,
Verna


jossiem
3/7/2003 18:38

Dear Lord; I pray for each and every parent that has lost their children one way or another. For me it has been five long years and even though some people tells me that "it will get better in time";I feel they are very wrong. I remember my son each and every day, I cry each day and I miss him just as I missed him the day he passed away. Nothing fills the huge emptiness and hole in your heart. My son was a wonderful person, and I still ask God why did he take one of the best? I know we will be together and I know he is in a better place but all the "logic" means nothing when your heart is in pieces. Please say a "little prayer" for me. I will do the same for you. Thank you and God Bless.


Leander72
3/7/2003 19:39

Dearest Family, I've missed you all and have been reading post. I can only add my Amen to what Sandy and Selva have said. I can finds no words because grief has none, I have thought of each of you I've come to know and kept you in my heart and prayers and for all Hope that the next step would be easier or that God's strength will do what words can not. It was hard to be away but did find a little Girl Angel for the garden now will wait to find a little boy Angel. When I was gone I did not feel alone, frustrated that it took so long for new service but I thought about each of our Angels and of you, the garden that will grow, not just in the ground but in our hearts, where there is death new life comes, no never the same never asked for but somehow through this journey God plans something ? I am always left with what? Where would we be without the life within this circle, are we not keenly aware of another pain without them even saying a word. I have no idea how God will use us but I believe that as we are changed by the fire of Grief God will use it for Good,did Our Heavenly Father want our children Home NO but through his Mercy he made a way that only Love can exist and somehow so do we. God embrace you,God be gentle unto you God protect you.BearHugs Donna


LOVE2U
3/7/2003 21:33

Hi Eva, ~ I pray that you are holding on to God's unchanging hand as the evil one tries to break your spirit. It is so difficult to deal with other trials as we are faced with trying to learn how to deal with the loss of a child. Yet, as we study God's Holy Word, or recall what we have learned early on about our Lord and Savior, He, too, had to deal with other trials and crosses while He was here on earth. Just remembering how unfairly Jesus was treated by so many, who were filled with satan's spirit, helps us to understand that we, too, will be faced with these kind of situations. I, too, had many difficult, and unfair things to deal with at the time of my loss, and shortly thereafter. Some so hurtful, I still find it difficult to think about. How any human being could inflict hateful or hurtful comments on purpose towards someone who has lost a child seems so very cruel and unforgivable. Yet, we know that is just what Jesus wants us to do, "if" or when we can. Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing." When we are faced with such a difficult decision as forgiving someone whom we know doesn't deserve our forgiveness, we must do as our Lord and Savior did. That is, we must cry out to our heavenly Father, asking Him to forgive them, for they know not what they are doing! MaDear use to say, "When men do all manner of evil against you ... Pray for them!" And, as one of my daughter's friends wrote to her in a letter, shortly before Diane was killed ... "For, what you have done to the least of my children, you have done unto me!" Diane shared this letter with me just months before she died. This friend felt the need to apologize to my daughter, Diane, for something negative she had said about her. It meant a lot to Diane, because she carried that letter around with her in her purse. After she was killed, I was able to console this young lady by telling her how much Diane cherished that letter. Eva, there is no way I would tell you to forgive these lost souls while you are struggling with so much grief and pain! What I suggesting is, someday, when you have moved further on your grief journey ... Try asking God to forgive them for you ... until you can. God will richly bless you for doing so ... Providing you with peace and strength to handle the situation on a spiritual level, one day at a time, as you continue on your grief journey, allowing God to mend your shattered heart. Don't worry about doing this anytime soon ... For I, and the other angel moms, have already talked to God about the situation. I, being a very emotional person, and very protective of my loved ones and friends, had to pray first for God to remove my own hurt and anger over what had happened to you. That, I am sorry to say, took a while! :) But, once I worked through most of my anger and the sadness I felt, I was able to go to God in prayer over the situation. I even prayed in the spirit. :) So, you're covered! :) And, as I said, all the other angel moms have prayed and will continue to pray for your protection and peace of mind. Also, Eva, what a compassionate post you submitted to Mrsrebel, and a heartfelt prayer you prayed for all. Like He does with all angel moms ... God is using you to do His work ... Even as you grieve! :) God bless you, Eva ... I and the other angel moms are sooo proud of you! Keep pressing on! :)
Much love,
Verna




LOVE2U
3/7/2003 22:17

Eva, ~ [Regarding your post on 2/27/03 17:05], You, too, are such an inspiration to us all. :) What a wonderful thing to say about our Sandy, and all angel moms! I know the feeling! I feel that same way about Sandy, and all of our angel moms! I get so depressed when I can't post, but thank God, I can still come here and read, and keep up with all that's going on in our circle of love. :) Sometimes, I spend hours, just sitting here reading, and going through each and every emotion with each of our angel moms. :) We really are a very special family, aren't we! :) Our Father really loves us angel moms, doesn't He! :) Even after all we've been through ... Still we find moments of peace and joy! God truly is awesome AND wonderful! :) He really does answer our prayers! Our Father has seen to it that we will never be alone! We love you too, Eva! :)
Verna


shaner
3/8/2003 10:13

Hi dear Deb, happy that you posted, but so sad! I know what you mean about the snow, we got dumped on too this week, but would you believe it today it's going to rain? March is such an unpredictable month. Oh Deb, I'm so, so sorry to read about your friends that were in that terrible fire! Yes, I watched it on Dateline (and the news) and it was awful. You and your husband must be feeling so badly right now, God love you both. Your friends that were killed are now resting in Our Lord's arms, and everyone is praying for a recovery of those in hospital. Of course it would bring up painful reminders for you Deb, {{Hugs}} to you for missing Michael. I pray for you too sweetie, that God will give you the strength to handle all of this, and my prayers are with you, your hubby, the families of those who lost a loved one and the families anxiously awaiting a recovery of their loved ones. Hang in there Deb, we're here for you, much love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
3/8/2003 10:31

Hello jossiem and welcome to the Circle.
A beautiful prayer for all, thank you so much. I'm so sorry to read that you lost a son 5 yrs. ago and are still in so much pain. You're right, time doesn't heal all wounds, we're always going to miss our children, but I pray that you find some peace in your heart.
We can say more than just a 'little prayer' for you, we'll pray very hard for you that your pain is lessened, and that you can go on with the rest of your life knowing that God understands, and wants to help you with your all-consuming grief. God bless you dear one, and please post here whenever you feel like it, you'll only find love, understanding, compassion and prayer here. Our love and prayers are with you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
3/8/2003 13:02

Hello Donna! It's SO good to have you back, it seems like ages ago since we've heard from you, :) I'm so happy that you have your new server and are up and running again! Your presence was really missed and you were in my thoughts and prayers also while you were gone. It gave you some time to yourself though, and hopefully you're renewed and refreshed in spirit, dear one. The little girl Angel and the little boy Angel must look so sweet in the garden. A beautiful analogy of the garden, new life springing from the ground, and also in our hearts, a new life does come from death, we can clearly see that through God's creation, the circle of life and death in nature. This new life that we didn't ask for is so very difficult to embrace, but you're right, God does have a plan for each of us, and I trust in Him that He will reveal to all what it is as we travel along this Journey. Yes, in this Circle of Love we're all keenly aware of each other's pain, without them saying a word. We are so blessed that God brought us all together. Yes, in our grief we are changed and like you say, God will use it for His good and for our's. In His mercy He did make love exist, the only emotion that really matters in our lives and in the world, and yes, the love in this Circle illustrates His love for us, that we pass on to all.
{{HUGS}} to you, and I'm so happy you're back! Much love to you dear one,
Luv Sandy


Elparro
3/8/2003 18:27

I sit here and wonder what to type.For my heart is heavy. today makes nine months since my sweet Matthew left me.NINE MONTHS!!! that's how long I carried him inside of me..I remember that day..he weighed 8lbs/12oz..oh how beautiful he was..head full of hair..lol I remember how I used to have to barrett his bangs away from his face when I would feed him!he was 8 months old when he got his first hair cut..I still have it....the barber gave him a certifcate for his first hair cut.it makes me sad to think about those wonderful times of my life..... Before I left for work this morning.though I do not go into Matt's room cause of the pain that comes, I stay out of there.I did have the courage to go into Matthew's room this morning.just to sit and cry..as I looked around his room and looked at all his things he has collected in his life.school pics...baseball..football..basketball..Atlanta Braves memorabelia....just so many memories...the sadness floods me.I did not think I would make it to work....but I did..today was alright.I had a decent day...My husband's little second cousin is here visiting us for his spring break...I get alittle emotional when I look at him...for he favors Matthew so much...down to his freckles on his face...and now when I look at Cameron..I see he has dyed his hair ,just like Matthew used to do his hair.oh God help me through this week..He even wears the same colors Matthew wore..Orange..ohh .. God help me.I will go now..I need to go cry.....love you all in Christ....Eva


shaner
3/8/2003 19:15

Hello dear Eva, you're in so much pain today God love you, today being the 9th month mark since Matthew passed. You carried him underneath your heart for nine months, and now you carry him in your heart. He sounds like he was such a beautiful baby, and big too, both my boys were over 8 lbs. also. You're flooded with memories today, and they're painful ones, but I'm glad that you finally went into Matt's room and just sat there and had a good cry. Doing that and posting here, lets some of your pain out, and that's a good thing. You're having a really rough day, and we all care and understand. Allow yourself to feel these emotions, it's only been 9 months for you, not very long in terms of grieving and loss, and sometimes you are going to be flooded by intense feelings of sadness because your loss is still recent. It's so heart-breaking at times, isn't it. But you know we all understand here and care deeply, and pray that this day will pass and tomorrow will be a more peaceful one for you. Anytime you want to vent here Eva, you do it, we all love you and are so sorry you're having such a bad day, remembering Matthew's 9th month Anniversary. Lots of love and prayers to you dear Eva,
Luv Sandy


LOVE2U
3/8/2003 20:52

Put Your Problems in God's Hands ...
For He Completely Understands

Although it sometimes seems to us
our prayers have not been heard,
God always knows our every need
without a single word'
And He will not forsake us
even though the way is steep,
For always He is near to us,
a tender watch to keep.

~ From: My Garden of Prayer~
Encouraging Thoughts ...
by Helen Steiner Rice


LOVE2U
3/8/2003 21:16

Dear God:
Thank you for loving us and walking with us through our valley days. Give us the strength we need to make it through the special days. Help us to recall fond memories of our beloved children even as we grieve. Lord please give us the strength to express our grief ... Each, in our own way. Help us to continue reaching out to our newly bereaved moms, to let them know how deeply we care! Thank you again, Father, for answering my heartfelt prayer. In Jesus' name, Amen


Leander72
3/9/2003 01:43

Dearest Eva, I'm sorry that right now there is no solace and pray for the day you will begin to feel some peace. Please keep posting,I admire your strength to press on and go to work. We all remember those days, we are here and if we all could wrap you in our arms and weep with you,we would. Thank you for sharing such precious memories with us,we know it is so hard but it's ok cry when you feel it talk to us when you can. Are you sleeping any better? We are all sending Love to you and hoping tomorrow will be lighter. BearHugs Donna


SELVAM
3/9/2003 01:44

Hi Donna. Its so nice to see you posting again. First of all thanks for posting in my Slange's memorial, that means soooo much to me, I feel she reads it everytime. Thanks so much for the garden, you have to tell me what do you want to plant in Solange's. The weather here in Miami its crazy, we had 87 today and its only beg of march, I can't even thing what it will be like in July. Solange loved this weather, not me, I pratically grew up in New York and enjoy the winter, she was born in NY but raised in Miami, so by this time she will be going to the beach trying to get a sun tan , never happened as she wished, she will get all red and then maybe a little color, but she enjoyed the beach, sun and the fun from Miami Beach so much that it hurts. Thanks a lot my friend, and tell me what MIckey would like to grow in my garden, you now there is a web site in Miami that offers a lot of (junk) but sometimes they have a lot of things for the garden and they will deliver, you can browe throu hteir catalogs, I'm sure you can find an angel boy. it is www.abcdistributing.com
try it and you will find a lot of things there. Love you my friend. and I'm gald you are back with us. Selva


Leander72
3/9/2003 01:52

Dear Jossiem, Thank you for your prayers and we are praying for you too. I've had the same message from loved ones but your right there is no time table and they mean well but they don't know but here we all know,I realized when I came here there wasn't something wrong with me and by coming here I have found a peace that wasn't there in my life and its been six yrs. People mean well but I think they are wanting to fix what can not be done in this World's time but in God's world he know's a mother heart better than any human. Be gentle to yourself.BearHugs Donna


SELVAM
3/9/2003 01:56

Hi Eva my friend, you have no idea how I do understand what you are going through, It has beean 6 1/2 months since I lost my Solange, my house it at a "standing still". it has been the same as Solange left it, I have been staying with my sister since them, so I know the pain of going through our child's room. I pass by my house everyday when I come out of work, sometimes I also sit in Solange's room and stare at all her shoes, her clothes, her perfumes all her memories who are still there. I have not have the strengh or the courage to remove anything et, the time will come when I have to make that decision, but my Dr keeps telling me not to do it yet, I will know when I'm ready. You know I pray for you everyday specially from my office and like I told you before, God will take care of that enviroment. Please my friend know that all of us in this Circle of Love are praying for you. Love you Selva


SELVAM
3/9/2003 02:08

Hi Deby. I'm so sorry that you have to go through taht pain again, I heard about the horrible news about Rhode Island and I'm so sorry about your friends, the minute I heard the news I prayed for all the parents, Solange used to go to the dischos every week end and I was always so affraid, but never thought about a fire, now I keep nagging on to Juny, who was Solange's best friend and used to lived in our house and of course she is the "another daughter" i have left, now I'm so worry about her, she came to visit me today and I was telling her to check the exit signs etc. but you know how kids are. After all , there is only one thing for us to do and its pray to God that nothing will happen to them. My prayers are with the survivals. Love you Debby. Selva


Leander72
3/9/2003 02:09

Dearest Debby, I'm sorry for you and your family that you should suffer loss of friends and be trapped by snow. I hope that you will find love and support through this dark valley and that you like Eva will find some peace. Remember Lisa's Post about her friend and wether she should go to the funeral,please listen to your heart and as Sandy said there are many ways to give support a card a phone call or flowers. Take good care and know we are praying for you.BearHugs Donna.


Leander72
3/9/2003 02:34

Dearest Selva, It is so good to be back I missed you too. I Love to visit Solange, and the other children,It is an honor to visit Angels and get to know them,they are a part of us now and there Beauty shines through each Mom. Just think when we finish this journey we will all be together laughing and crying and its a good thing eternity is infinite. Selva I know its hard for you to believe but you have so much heart and courage, even through your tears.I live in Albuquerque now but it is so wonderful when it snows or rains. I grew up in the Bronx too, in the projects. Thanks for the tip I'll check it out. Its sounds strange some of us are deep in winter your dealing with summer temp and I live where we have had drought for the last 3 yrs. Could you remember Mikey with an Easter Lily he loved them and they are hard to grow here but I keep trying or any yellow flower. We will start building ours soon and my yard may be brown but my husband and I can't wait to get started soon the awful winds will come but then we can plant. You said Solange loves roses and I have one in mind cream with a touch of green than pink.What do you think. Roses grow well here and when that rose blooms it is so beautiful. I'm still growing Sunflowers, Mikey liked them too and its great for the birds. Love&BearHugs DearFriend.


Leander72
3/9/2003 02:42

Dearest Sandy, Thank you for the forwards, and letter they made my day. My husband & I cracked up because we have been looking for a kitten and a dog from the shelter or humane society and so far the cats look like they want to scratch your face off, they must feel so sad to be there and then we find a small dog and again someone got 1st listing then no kittens the cat we liked belonged to the owner,so you see why when we got home it was to funny. Thanks for turning disappointment to hilarity. Love&BearHugs Donna


shaner
3/9/2003 09:31

Hello dear Donna, ha, ha, I can see why that fwd. would be hilarious to you after your experiences yesterday! Most people wrote me back and said, "YES, I've been that tired", :) Speaking of tired, I read all the posts, and it seems I wasn't the only one who couldn't get to sleep, looking at the times you and Selva posted. Selva wrote me this am to say it was 2am and she still couldn't sleep. I should have come online instead of tossing and turning!
Somewhere out there is a kitten and a dog just waiting for you, and I think it's wonderful that you're looking into your own Shelter for one. My hubby goes to our Shelter every now and then to take some of the dogs there out for a walk, it helps the staff out and he loves doing it, but it breaks my heart to see all the dogs, cats there, especially the dogs, they look at you with hope in their eyes and I just want to round them all up and bring them home. It's so sad. Well, I hope we can all have a nap today, :) and Selva, hope you got SOME sleep! Love and hugs to you dear Donna,
Luv Sandy


shaner
3/9/2003 09:35

Hello dear Verna, a nice poem by Helen Steiner Rice, she's very good, isn't she. Thank you for the prayer you posted for all, once again another beautiful one, much love to you,
Luv Sandy

 
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