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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children


Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.


There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

 
Shaner -10/14/2000
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missbrascia
2/28/2003 22:17

hello. I have posted a couple of times but it has been a while. My seven year old daughter died in April of last year. I am struggling with the fact I must go back to the cemetary and order a marker for her grave. Just typing the word grave almost sends me back to day one. How do you put into few words the mountain of love and emotion you felt and still feel for your own child? And how do you go on with your life and other children when the one that is the first and so special is gone? You all were very supportive of me when I wrote a few months ago. I think I am in another valley now and can't seem to my footing to keep climbing


missbrascia
2/28/2003 22:19

hello. I have posted a couple of times but it has been a while. My seven year old daughter died in April of last year. I am struggling with the fact I must go back to the cemetary and order a marker for her grave. Just typing the word grave almost sends me back to day one. How do you put into few words the mountain of love and emotion you felt and still feel for your own child? And how do you go on with your life and other children when the one that is the first and so special is gone? You all were very supportive of me when I wrote a few months ago. I think I am in another valley now and can't seem get to my footing to keep climbing


shaner
3/1/2003 11:33

Hi Deb, terrific to see you posting, we've all missed you! Congratulations to you, your sister and family for the new arrival!! What a happy event to celebrate. Hope you're doing OK Deb, and I'm going to visit your new Memorial and see if the pics are up! Lots of love and prayers to you dear Deb, and it's so nice to see you posting again!
Luv Sandy


shaner
3/1/2003 11:38

Hello dear Lisa, happy to see a post from you too, hope you have some time this weekend to post, and I send my prayers and love to you, dear Angel Mom!
Luv Sandy


shaner
3/1/2003 11:54

Hi Janice, it's great to see a post from you again too! Wow, congratulations on passing the Exam! You worked hard for it and it's payed off. What kind of Nursing do you hope to get into? Your daughter will pass her exam in May, of course she's still in our prayers. I'm so sorry about your precious grandaughter, but Praise Our Lord for her being in remission! A beautiful prayer for all, Janice, may you also be blessed abundantly by Our Lord. You have a wonderful, faith-filled way of looking at your daughter's passing, yes, I thank God for putting my Shane into my life, but I still miss him so much. We love you too Janice, and don't be a stranger around here, :).
Luv Sandy


shaner
3/1/2003 12:13

Dearest Eva, you have so much to deal with in your job, you're right, put your trust in God, He has a plan for you, and in His time He'll reveal it to you! I pray that your Major will understand and let you have Sundays off and not fire you! You've had a bad week, with your cold and missing Matthew so much, you've been under a lot of stress this week. So please try and rest up this weekend if you can, and hopefully things will look different for you. I've never heard that song by Faith Hill, but now I'll be sure to listen for it on the radio.
Please take care of yourself sweetie, we all love you too, and you know our prayers are with you and Ron too. Keep pressing on in His love and care dear Eva, and I pray for peace in you heart today and in the days ahead. Much love to you,
Luv Sandy


shaner
3/1/2003 12:17

Hello missbrascia, I remember you well, I have to go right now, but I WILL respond later!
Luv Sandy


shaner
3/1/2003 15:50

Hi missbracia, first of all it's so nice to see you posting again, and I can feel your pain through your post. It's so hard to deal with the grief, isn't it. And ordering the marker for your daughter's grave is painful too, things like that can bring us back to square one. But grief is like that, sometimes it's 5 steps forward, then 3 steps back, it's all a part of grieving, we all go through it, so we understand what you mean. I know, it is impossible to express all the love and joy that your daughter brought into your life on a marker. Your precious daughter does know this though, and so do you, that's what really matters. Your bond of love with her and her bond of love with you is eternal, love never dies, so as I said, she know exactly how you feel about her even if you can't express it all on a marker. Our lives all change when we lose a child, and as difficult as it is, with God's help we all learn how to go on. Give yourself plenty of time, you're only in your 2nd year, and in some ways it can be as tough as the first. Allow yourself to still grieve, and I hope you have support from family and friends, talking about how you feel is one of the ways we let our pain out. You know you can always post here and talk, we all care and want to help. With God's help, you'll find your footing again and climb out of that valley, my prayer for you is that God will give you the necessary spiritual and physical strength you need right now, and His peace in your heart that surpasses all others. Please post back again and let us know how you're doing, we all understand and care here! Much love and prayers to you dear one,
Luv Sandy


shaner
3/1/2003 15:56

Hello dear Selva, now it's my turn to say where are you, :) miss your postings! Oh, that's right, you were going shopping today at Home Depot for flowers! Please post and let us know how you're doing, my sister,
Luv Sandy


SELVAM
3/1/2003 18:42

Hi Debby, Lisa, Janice and all you Angel moms,First of all Janice, congratulations on passing your board exam, I'm sure your daughter will pass it too, we will pray for that. Debby its so nice to see you posting again, we miss your postings, thanks so much for your prayers, Lisa I'm so glad you keep on coming back here to this Circle of Love. We need each other so much, so don;t stay away for a long time. I love you Angel moms and my prayers (whenever I can) are always with you. Love you Selva


SELVAM
3/1/2003 18:52

Hello Missbrascia. I'm so sorry about your daughter and your pain, I understand so much I also lost my only daughter, 20 years old, Aug 15, 2002. So I'm in that awful grieving process, and feeling that raw pain, you know, I also had to go to the cemetary to order that plaque for my Solange, it was like a nightmare, Thank God the lady who had to take care of it , its a childhood friend, so she made it somewhat easier for me and my sister really took care of the rest of the details, but you know what, I have been not able to go and visit my Solange's site yet, I don;t think I will be able to do it in a long time. My phsycologist tells me its allright, there is nothing there. Her spirit and soul are with God now, and she is enjoying a very happy and peaceful time with Jesus and all her Angel friends. Don't feel bad if you can not go through with it, have somebody else do it for you. It is very hard for us to accept the fact that our children are gone from this life, we have to keep thinking that they are still alive in another dimension and are very happy. Please keep coming back here, there are such wonderful Angel moms that have more experience than we do and they will help you so much. I don't know where will I be without them. We all understand "The pain" like noone else. so you will feel a lot of understanding, care, love and prayers in this Circle of Love. Love you Selva


SELVAM
3/1/2003 19:01

Hi my sister Eva. I'm so sorry you are going through that awful job again, you know sometimes we must think and do our numbers (I'm and accountant so I know my numbers) and it's better if we cut down some of our extra expenses, if we can, and exchanged it for health and peace, there is no money in the world that can pay for those two things. Like I said before, I think of you very often when I;m in my office, because my environment its so different, my co workers are like family to me, so if you can make them fire yoy, the collect unemployment for a while and then I'm sure you can get a less stressful job. But I don;t know how much you can afford that, I myself, when Solange went away, I knew I could not affored to loose my job because I'm alone. So I had to go back, but thatwas a help, to keep my mind busy most of the time. Talk to your husband and do some numbers, and if you can afford it , then quit that ugly place, if you can not, then ask God to help you handle it, don't let those savages take the best of you, keep God in your mind and He will find your way. Love you my sister. Selva


SELVAM
3/1/2003 19:15

Hi Sandy. Well I could not go to Home Depot today, but my sister told me she will take me tomorrow, yesterday was "one of those days", I got up to go to work, before I went to put the thrash containter outside and I twisted my ankle, I was wearing some high sandals, it hurt a lot but I did not put attention to it, then I went to my car to wo to work and the driver's door with not closed , I got out and kept on trying until I notice that someone had crashed my door while I was sleeping, I had to go back, call the police, my insurance etc, I had to take one of those pills my Dr ordered because (everything makes me nervous now a days) then my sister drove me to work 2 hours late, I worked and about 2:30 pm I went to get up and I could not walk, my foot was swollen and in such pain, I had to tell my friend (boss) to take me home, I put my feet up and put ice all night long , today I felt better, but had to work all day catching up, that its why I did not posted yesterday. I miss you Angel moms. I'm still in valley days, I remembered that when Solange had her brand new car, she was not used to driving a "sports car" a 2001 Celica, so she had 2 accidents (minor) but she would not admit it was her fault, imagine she was under my insurance, so I kep telling her to be more careful, then one night she called me from her boyfriend 's house to tell me someone had crashed her car while she was inside his house, I did not beleive her I though that it was another accident, she got mad at me that time, and yesterday when I saw my car, the guilt feeling got a hold of me, still, I begged ger for forgiveness, but I'm still in the valley. My Dr, keeps telling me, that our Angels, have a different view of what goes on know and they understand everything in a very different way that we do. They know that what we did was for their protection etc due to our enormous love to them, but I can keep from feeling guilty sometimes. Well my sis, tommorrow (God's willing) I will go to buy forget-me-not. I will also want to buy an scanner so I can send pictures of my Solange and the garden. Love you very much Selva


Elparro
3/1/2003 22:18

Lord when grief overwhelms us let us remember Your death on Calvary's cross provides our hope of eternal life in heaven.


shaner
3/2/2003 09:33

Hello dear Selva, I'm happy you posted, but I'm so sorry to read about your troubles on Friday! Imagine, not only your car being hit, but injuring your foot as well. It sure was 'one of those days' for you. Yes, ice is good to put on a sprain or injury, and resting the foot, so I'm happy that you're feeling better today, but don't overdo it. Ah, that's sad that your car's accident reminded you of Solange's accidents and feeling guilty about the one you and she argued over. But your Dr. is right, in my opinion anyway, I believe also that when we cross over everything is revealed to us, the 'dark glass' that we see through now is gone, and everything becomes understandable, knowledge is revealed to us if you know what I mean.
So Solange would understand now everything that happened to her in life, and she would not be angry with you, anger is a negative emotion, and there's no room for it in Heaven! Solange and all the other children are enjoying a happiness that we cannot even imagine! So please don't feel guilty, Solange is filled only with love for you! Have a good day shopping for flowers, :) but don't go if your foot is still sore. Oh, that'd be terrific to see some pics of Solange and the Garden! Take care of yourself my dear sister, and post back whenever you can. Love you too,
Luv Sandy


shaner
3/2/2003 09:35

Amen dear Eva, AMEN!
Much love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy


SELVAM
3/2/2003 18:12

Hi me dear Angel Moms.Had a busy day today with taxes, Sandy I could not go to Home Depot again, but we just finished working, tax season is heavy for us (my sister and I) we are both accountants, so we work 7 days a week, I have not got a chance to get my car into the shop, hopefully I will do it tuesday, but my promise it still on, I will plant forget-me-not. I'm sorry I have not been able to do so. Today I was talking to my sister about buying a scanner and she said she has one but she lost all the plugs and instructions (that's my sister) she buys stuff and then she forgets about it, so I sent an e mail to Heelett Packard so they will send me attachments and instructions, as soon as I get it and I have the time, I will send you all Solange's picture and the memorial garden (with the forget me not) thats a promise. In the meantime I passed by my house for 5 minutes because i needed to get a tax form from last year, and I received another letter from the only guy who said thanks, he sounds like a very good person, and guess what (a miracle?) mother lost two of her 3 child, one of them was killed and they don't even know why or who did it, the second one was an commercial airline pilot, he shoked to death with something he was eating and his wife did not what to do, and he is the only one living thanks to Solange, he said he is feeling so much better, not in dialysis anymore, and taking care of himself because of Solange, he said we went through so much sorrow to keep him alive that he is following every Dr's order, isnt' that sweet of him?. I will write to him tomorrow. Well Angel moms, I will pray tonight, I promise, I have so many of you to keep in my heart and prayers, and all our Angel kids. I love you very much. Selva


shaner
3/3/2003 14:33

Hello dear Selva, oh goodness yes, with tax season here, I can well imagine how you and your sister are working very hard and long hrs. So don't worry about it, rest up after a long day at work, and go when you have more time. And, don't forget about your car, :) So your sister lost the plug and attachments, ha, ha, but that's wonderful that they are going to send you the replacement parts so that the scanner is up and working! Gosh, that's so nice of the man to write you again, he certainly appreciates the gift he received from Solange, and God bless him, now he can live a normal life again! It's really thoughtful of him to write you like he's done, he must be a special person himself. And that must make you feel very good! Well, don't work too hard, your sister too, treat yourselves to dinner out tonight! And I look forward to seeing the picture when you have the time and get your scanner. Lots of love to you my sister, and prayers too,
Luv Sandy


SELVAM
3/3/2003 20:21

Shane. Today I', writing to you. I just want to let you know what a wonderful mother you have. I'm sure you know this by now, but I felt I wanted you to know. I will tell you this: You mother have done so much good that only you and Jesus know, she have kept all bereaved moms , sane, have helped us so much as to keep our sanity, our faith, aour love for God, even after our loss, that it is so dificult to feel, you must be sooooo proud of your mother!. She is the one who has kept us sane, faithful, strong, lovingly, in another words, you Angel should be the manager for all our Angel kids, you have such a strong wonderful mom. So please get in touch with Solange, I;m sure you had already, tell her that I love her, and I don't know why (maybe Jesus is telling me to say so) You are in charge of Our Angel Kids. I love you Shane. Please keep your mother, father. family in your prayers. I love you. Selva


shaner
3/4/2003 14:26

Oh dear Selva, what a beautiful, touching letter to our Shane, it made me cry! That's so thoughtful and loving of you to write to him, I know he's aware of your post and sends his love back to you. Shane loved everybody and was always the first to volunteer to help anyone, he has a very kind, giving heart. When he came to me in the dream state, one of the things he told me was that there was a lot of work to be done, he said this happily, but would not tell me what kind of work, except to acknowledge it was of a spiritual nature. So perhaps you're right Selva, maybe one of his 'jobs' is to look after all our Angel Kids, and I know that he would hug and kiss them all, and of course love them. We're all closely bonded here, and they're all closely bonded there, I believe.
Thank you so much for your beautiful letter to Shane, my husband and I were truly touched by it, and I know that Shane has already hugged Solange and all the other Angel Kids, and lovingly greeted all, for you Moms. God bless you my sister, and as I always say, if I've been a help to anyone here, it's through God using me! We thank you again Selva, and I know that Shane does too and sends his love to you, and all Angel Moms. Much love to you dear one,
Love Sandy


LisaLou862
3/5/2003 12:46

Hello all Angel Moms,
Sorry, I haven't posted in a couple of days. It has taken me this long to finally get the strength up to talk to anyone. Sunday was Aaron's birthday. It was really tough. I baked his favorite kind of cake (german chocolate). Of course I had to put regular vanilla icing on one half because his brother doesn't like coconut.(lol) I have been doing that for years now. Anyway, I went a bought helium balloons and tied message cards on to the bottom. We went to the cemetery and wrote him notes and lifted them up to him in heaven. It was really nice. Then I tied one huge birthday balloon on to his vase. Afterwards we all went home to have cake and ice cream. It was really hard but a joy to celebrate his life. He would have been 20 years old. I don't know, but I think deep down inside I was really expecting him to come home on that day. I even heard a truck that sounded like his going down the street when I was getting dressed. My heart literally stopped for a minute and the thought flashed through my mind that he was coming home for his birthday. Then reality hit again and I was just awful. But I had a lot of support that day and his grave was visited all day by friends and family. If he only knew how many lives he touched while he was here on earth! I Love him and miss him SO much. As each of you do your loved ones too. God, please bless all the Angel Moms and let them find peace in their hearts to carry on. Please let all of our children know that we still love them and always will. Amen
Love to all,
Lisa


shaner
3/5/2003 13:30

Hi Lisa, nice to see you posting again!
Your decision to celebrate Aaron's birthday was wonderful, but I know it was also painful for you, God bless you.
The special days are always so hard on us, aren't they. But with everything you did for Aaron on his birthday, it helped you, and imagine how happy he was, seeing all that you did for him! That was so nice of his friends and family to visit his grave, I'm sure that he does know how much he is loved and how his life affected others. Oh, don't you hate those moments when you think you hear his truck, or see the back of him in a crowd, only to be disappointed, your heart dropping as you realize it's not him. I know how much you miss him and love him, we all can relate to that, but I'm so happy for you that you had a lot of support on Sunday to help you get through the day. And that's cute about the cake, :), one side for him, the other side for his brother, :). May you also experience peace in your heart today Lisa, the peace that comes from Our Lord that surpasses all others. My love and prayers to you dear one,
Luv Sandy


SELVAM
3/5/2003 20:19

Hi Lisa, I'm glad you posted again, you know we understand you so much, guess what, Solange went to Heaven Aug 15 2002, her 21 birthday was Dec 7 2002, so we held a mass for her and all her young friends attended it, our priest was very impressed to see the church full of young people, he said beautiful words etc, and after the mass, we let ou 21 helium ballons outside the church, all her friends wrote a note in the ballons , I did too, and its was so beautiful to see it go up in the sky that night!. Also that night I though she was getting ready to go out to party with her friends to celebrate HER 21, I though I heard her coming home and going into the bathroom and her room 20 thousand times like she used to do, trying on what clothes they were going to wear, so you see, we all go through the same. But I'm sure she celebrated her birthday with all OUr Angel Kids, and they had a great time, I'm sure Aaron had the same birthday party. Please be sure they are having a wonderful time. Of course we want to see them, hold them , kiss them, tell them how much we love them, but they know we do.That was nice of you to bake a cake for him, I'm sure he enjoyed it. Please take care of yourself, we are going through raugh valley days with this 24/7 pain, but we must keep our faith that Our Lord Jesus in taking good care of His and Our kids. Love yoy my friend, don;t forget this Circle of Love and post everytime you fell like it. We have such wonderful Angel moms to guide us trhough our pain. May God Bless them and you too. Selva


somerville2000
3/6/2003 15:56

The love between a parent and child is unconditional. I know because I am a parent. For the second time I have watched my grandmother bury a child. This time (12/29/02) she buried her youngest child, my aunt Bernie (who lost her 9mo. twin daughter on 02/15/01). Grandma is 70+ years old and I am watching the effects that this recent bereavement is having on her. She is depressed, her hair is thinning because of the stress and grief, and healthwise she's starting to exhibit all of the symptoms of having another stroke. No parent wants to bury a child and it is one of the hardest burdens we as parents have to bear. I cannot say I understand how the rest of you or my grandmother feels, but I know that the sudden lost of a loved one can hurt very deeply. This family is having a time dealing with this emotionally and some of us physically. If someone could just say a prayer to help ease my grandmother's load and help this family deal with our loss I would be greatly appreciative. My aunt leaves besides her mom, sisters and brothers, a 13yr old son and a 2yr. old daughter. I will say a prayer for all of you who have lost children, are having an especially hard time and need prayer.

 
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