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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
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Read Prayers.

2/10/2003 15:44

Lord I Thank You for the Mom's Angels and ask your strength to walk through the open doors, give us courage to regonize your handiwork and let whatever we do be for your glory and Thank You for our Angels.

2/10/2003 16:06

Shaner, Thank you for your posting. Justin is an only child now. I think if we had been blessed with other children he would have been able to share and cope better. If we talk of Mikey he will leave the room or get angry and leaves.We were told that when a child suffers for a long time the other will be the abandoned child or others that is why I asked for prayer because we saw so many other siblings lost and angry and the impact for some has led to terrible choices. No matter how much time was spent with them and parenting them there lives were as changed as ours. Thank You for your kindness and comfort. God has brought us a far way but I'm concerned for Mom's and families who don't have all of us and know they need our prayers for God's intervention. There have been to many lost. I wish I could take away the pain for so many who have just begun but when people would ask me what they could do for us I would say pray. So today and every day I pray that your journey will find a ray of sunshine and somehow your heart lightened and know just by sharing you have helped me and each other in a way no one could. Love&Hugs Donna,there's no Teddy's here but I wish I could give each of you one.

2/10/2003 19:37

Hi Sandy, Verna, Deb, Eva, Leander72 and all you Angel moms. Well, my sister is feeling worse, she has a Dr. appt tommot\rrow at 9am it took me a great deal to meke her go to the Dr. I'm in the course of getting that cold too, there are 3 persons in my office with that cold, but I've been taking a lot of vitamins and plenty of water to wash it off, I remember Solange, she used to say Ay mam you are so exagerated, cause the minute she will have a symtom of cold or anything I will bombarded her with vitemins and lots fo juice and stuff like that, but she was always healthy Thank God. She will follow my advice even though she will make fun of it. Well I'm still in valley days, tomorrow I have to go to my phsyco, I passed by the house today to pick up the mail etc and I told Solange please come with me and I think she did, for I'm not feeling guilty about leaving my house.Ay you Angel moms, what does it take for me to have Solange back. Juny called me today she said Hi mom, and that really turned my inside out, but of course I don;t tell her that. She is so glad that I made her go back to school, that made me feel better,I told her it was Solange, so she isreally happy about it, she got a new job with one of Solange's friends and now she will take Solange's career, Marketting and Public Relations, I'm glad for her . Her mother its not all there, so I keep in touch to make sure she is in the right track. That makes me feel better because she was like a sister to Solange, so I know that she is happy for Juny. Hi LEANDRER72, welcome to this Circle of Love. Please keep on copming back here, you will find love, understanding and a lot of good advice. Thanks to these Angels of Love I have found sanity, love and understanding. So will you. I love you all and my prayers are always with you all. Selva

2/11/2003 02:40

God Bless you Selvam, I know from your letters how much pain you have suffered and yet praise God you are still caring for a sister and for a young girl who needs you and listened to your guidance and because of your beautiful giving daughter her life goes on and you both helped Juni,through your pain you bring great joy. Hugs Donna

2/11/2003 09:18

It has been 19 weeks since my 19 year old first born son was killed in a car accident. I am having such a hard time. Somedays I just pretend he is away and will be coming home soon but I know he is really gone to live with God. It is SO unbearable sometimes, it takes everything in me to even get out of bed. Please pray for me and my other son for God to help us. I also wanted to know if there is a chat room of sorts for bereaved parents?

2/11/2003 12:47

Hi Donna, it's so unfortunate that this occurs with brothers or sisters who end up feeling abandoned, hurt and angry when their sibling is sick for a period of time before they pass. That's heartbreaking, and of course our prayers are with them, as well as your Justin. Yes, there have been too many lost, and there are so many parents out there who don't have much in the way of support or prayer, but most of us here include every bereaved parent in our prayers, meaning all of those who desperately need our prayers in their time of grief, wherever they may be. Many, I pray, will find their way here or to other places where they can talk about how they feel, and be prayed for.
Gosh yes, we all who are further along know the harsh pain that newly bereaved moms are going through, and like you, I would also ask people to pray for me when they asked what they could do. Oh, what a sweet prayer Donna, thank you for it, and I pray the same for you!
Thank you for your kind words once again, I'm always humbled when God works through me to help another mom. Love, hugs and prayers to you dear Donna, and don't worry about the Teddy Bears, :) it's your loving thought that counts!
Luv Sandy

2/11/2003 13:02

Hello dear Selva, that's too bad about your sister being so sick, and now you yourself coming down with it! Yes, take plenty of vitamins and try to rest and hopefully you'll be able to fight it off. It must have made you feel better to stop by the house and talk to Solange, asking her to be with you everywhere you go, I have no doubt that she is! I can only imagine how you felt when Juny called you Mom, but you've been a guiding force in her life, helping to keep her on the right track, and that's wonderful of you! Yes, I'm sure Solange is helping out her very good friend, they were more like 'sisters' and you and Solange have been there for her during her life. God will bless you tenfold for what you've done. I know the days and nights are so hard Selva, but God is with you, helping to see you through, and you know you have us too, we love you and you know our prayers are always with you! Much love,
Luv Sandy

2/11/2003 13:21

Hello LisaLou862, and welcome to the Circle. I'm so sorry about losing your 19 year old, and only a short while ago.
Losing a child is the worst pain that a parent will ever experience, it's a pain like no other, and I believe only another mom who has gone through it truly understands. You're in the shock and disbelief stage, and what you're feeling is very normal, it's all part of the grieving process. Let yourself grieve, cry, and talk about your son, that's the way we let some of our pain out. Be gentle with yourself right now, everything you're feeling is very normal, so trust me, you're not going crazy. Love never dies, it's Eternal, and the love you and your son shared is still there and one day you'll be reunited with him again. You can post here about how you're feeling any time, this is a safe place for moms to talk and you'll only find understanding, compassion, love and prayers here, there is never any judging!
They have a Grief/Loss section here at Beliefnet where you can post in Discussions, and if you write me I'll tell you of other sites that have chat rooms for moms who've lost a child. I can't remember their exact addresses right now, so that's why you can write me and I'll know their correct addresses. My e-mail is Our love and prayers are with you and your other son, may Our Lord wrap you in His loving arms and give you some peace today,
Luv Sandy

2/11/2003 20:18

Ay Sandy (ay in spanish means so much that I could not trasnlate it) you are such a wonderful person! I thank God every day and I tell people every day that God sent me to this Circle of Love and I don't know how I got to it. Thanks to you Sandy, Verna, Deb, Eva and All you wonderful Angel moms I have survived. I pray for you Angel moms and all our Angel childs whenever I can. I really try to do it at least twice a day. Next the 15 its going to be 6 months since I have not seen Solange.Its is real? I don't know. I love you Angel moms. Selva

2/11/2003 20:27

Hi Lisalouu862. Welcome again to this Circle of Love, please jeep coming here everytime you want. You will find understading, love and prayers . Things that we really need at this time I lost my only daughter 20 years old, almost 6 months ago, and if it wren't for this Angel moms, that you will find HERE, I will be going nuts. We understand THE PAIN only us, so keep coming back here and let your feelings out and we will try to help you with our prayers and Sandy, Deb, Verna, Yvonne, Eva and all these wonderful Angel moms, will help you through your pain because WE UNDERSTAND you pain. God Bless you Selva

2/12/2003 12:24

Hello dear Selva, Ay to you too, I wish I knew what it meant,:). You're an Angel yourself posting to other moms in their grief while you're in your own.
That's so sweet of you to tell others about our Circle of Love. I believe that God led you here, and we're all happy that He did! What an awesome Father He is to us, especially during our dark times! I'm so happy that this Circle has helped you Selva, with all the wonderful Moms we have here, and their loving posts and prayers for all. That's so comforting to know that you pray for us and our children twice a day, and you know our love and prayers are with you too! Yes, it's hard to believe that 6 months have passed, time goes by so quickly, it will be the 47th month that our Shane has been gone on the 15th, and I have no idea where that time went. It all seems as though it happened yesterday sometimes.
We love you too Selva, and as I said, I'm very happy that you found us! Much love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

2/12/2003 12:32

lisalouu862- i lost my son on july 2, 2002. he was 16, also in a car accident. i wish time would make things better but i have my doubts. the pain can't be taken away because no one can bring our child home to us. i do look forward to being with Kevin again but until than i will have to talk to him and hope he can sometimes listen. i'm sure he is very busy progressing on his journey. i miss him and cry everyday. he is my boy and i want him to come home. if you want to talk with me please email me back at i pray for your strength and for your son to leave you little messages like my son has.

2/12/2003 19:19

Hi Sandy, Verna, Deb, Yvonne and all you wonderful Angel moms. First of all Sandy, AY, means : Ay Sandy I love you so much, Ay my Lord I'm hurting so much, Ay my friend please be there for me. Ay you are such a wonderful person, Ay it hurts. That what AY means you can use Ay in so many different things. And what I meant was Ay Sandy you are such a wonderful soul and Angel mom that is always there for me. My sister is still sick, she can not talk, but she did go to the Dr. and he prescribed a lot of medicine, she is taking all of it, it is bronchitis not the flu. I'm in valley days, one of Solange's friends came over last night to do her taxes ( I do all her friends taxes at no charge because I know them since they were little girls) she also needs help. she have gain soo much weight, and she told me she is going trough bad times with her brothers because her mother is going through menopause and its driving them crazy. She got married last year, (she was living with the guy for about 2 years) but she keeps on eating every junk food there is, and sha has gained a lot of weight, so I try to help and advice her to go to a phsyco, even gave her mine, I talked to her for a long time trying to let her feelings out, I will keep in touch to make sure she will also keep in the right track, maybe that is what Solange left for me to do, remerber what I posted, "Task undone must keep that way"AY Sandy what a pain. I love you Angel moms. May God bless you All. Selva

2/13/2003 08:35

Dear Selva, ~ Just a quick note to let you know how happy I am for you! Thank you sooo much for sharing the good news with me. As Sandy and I love to say, "God is sooo good to us Angel Moms!" No one knows the depth of our pain better than God! All we Angel Moms need to do is just keep on praying, and keeping the faith we have in God, our Father, and Jesus, our Savior. God really does hear our prayers, Selva. Just keep holding on to God's unchanging hand, and you are going to discover just how awesome God really is! The thing we must learn to do is to just keep on praying and crying out to God, and just trust Him to comfort us and help heal our broken hearts, as we continue on our journey back to Him. :)
I can tell you from experience that my undying faith and personal relationship with God did not happen over night. As a matter of fact, shortly after I lost my precious daughter in that tragic chain reaction type wreck which was caused by drunk driving, I tried my best to get God to kill me. I was sooo angry with God for allowing my child to die ... In such a tragic manner! I had no intentions of trying to go on living. During this awful stage in my grieving, I did not have counseling, or this wonderful prayer circle of love which Sandy created as a result of losing her beloved Shane. And, like you, I don't even recall how I found this prayer circle. Just learning to use the computer, I had no idea that there was such a thing as a prayer circle online. Nevertheless, just like you, and all the other moms, God saw to it that I would find it at a time when I really needed it the most. I did not know it, but God was getting ready to use me ... To do His work through me ... Even as I continued to grieve the loss of my precious daughter!

2/13/2003 08:38

I can't prove what I am saying to you right now, God's Holy Spirit, which I know lives within me, has revealed to me that God is molding me to become more Christlike everyday. And, I truly believe that God is doing the same for you, and all the other Angel Moms and others who stop by our circle of love and post a prayer for those of us who must learn to go on in spite of the grief we live with everyday. Again, I cannot prove what I am saying, but my faith assures me that like Jesus, we have a cross to carry while here on earth. And, like Jesus, someday we will know the joy that awaits us as we enter into the gates of heaven ... and are greeted by our children, and our heavenly Father, and our Savior, Jesus Christ ... And the heavenly host of Angels, and the prophets of old, and all our other dear loved ones who have gone on before us!
Sometimes, I like to think that the pain we are experiencing as the result of losing our children is somewhat like the labor pains felt before a mother gives birth to her child. Once the child arrives and the mother holds her child in her arms, the unconditional love bond is formed between the mother and child; and it lasts forever! And, the pain that was felt during labor, are soon forgotten! I believe in my heart that no amount of pain that we Angel Moms feel at any stage, can be compared to the joy we will experience when we come face to face with our children and once again hold them in our arms ... Knowing that we will live forever with them in God's kingdom! Until that day comes, let us press on ... serving God, by reaching out to all who are grieving, with true compassion and unconditional love and prayers ... Even as we grieve!
Again, Selva, the grief and longing to see and hold our children will always be with us, but in God's on time, it will slowly become easier to bear. The more you are able to let go of some of the grief by talking about it with other moms who understand, the more you are helping the newer moms know that they are not alone in what they are feeling! Keeping it inside is much too difficult to do! We moms who are further along will tell you, we needed to know that we were not going crazy! ... That we were not the only ones who were feeling such unbearable grief and pain! As my dear sister advised me on the night I first learned what had happened, and also for a longgggg time afterwards ... You've got to "Let it out!" ... "You've got to let it out!" That is the stage that you and some of the other Angel Moms are in right now! We, too, (We Moms who have been on our journey a while longer), needed to be assured that the pain would not always be sooo intense, and that God, and those that He would place in our paths, would see to it that we were not alone, and that we would somehow learn how to move on in spite of the grief which, as Sandy says, eventually "Settles in." It will happen, but it takes a whole lot of time! So, I say to all Angel Moms, just continue to hang in there, and let us pray you to the next stage! All of us here love you dearly and welcome you to come here and share what you are feeling anytime ... day or night! Just know that we are here for you!
Much Love, and God's Peace and Blessings!
PS ~ Selva, ~ I will share this email at our prayer circle in hopes that some of what I say will help give hope to some of the other Angel Moms. :)

2/13/2003 18:41

AY Verna, you are such a wonderful Angel, everytime that I am in deep valley you show up and make me feel better, so does Sandy and all Angel moms in this Circle of Love. I thank you so much and everytime I do that I pray to the Lord to keep you healthy, and strong so you can go on helping other moms (am I being selfish) I hope not. I thank God every day for taking me to this wonderful Circle of Love, that I was able to meet all you Angel moms, you have kept my sanity, and my faith. I Thank You GOD for all these Angel Moms. Bless you ALL. Love Selva

2/13/2003 19:17

Hi TKH63. Welcome to this Circle of Love. You are not alone, I lost my only daughter 20 years old Aug 15 2002, so I know what you are going through, Please keep coming back here to this Circle of Love, you have no idea how much help you can find, there are a lot of Angel moms, who feel and understand what we are feeling right now, because they have been there before us. Please I beg you to keep coming back and you will find understanding, love and prayers. I have been able to maintain my sanity thanks to these Angel moms. May God bless you. Selva

2/14/2003 08:49

Happy Valentines Day to all of you! I feel very sad today as I am sure most of you do too. I wish so badly that I could hug Aaron and tell him how much I love him. Happy Valentines Day Aaron! You have my whole heart! I miss him SO much, and am having a very hard time accepting that he is gone. My heart won't comprehend the fact that I can't hear his voice or touch him ever again on earth. I have another son here on earth and I feel like I am being pulled in two different directions. I want to go to heaven to be with Aaron and then I want to be here with the other. I don't know what to do. I am SO confused.

2/14/2003 13:20

Hello dear Selva, now I understand what Ay means! That's too bad about your sister being so sick, I've had bronchitis a few times myself, and thank God for antibiotics. I really hope she's feeling better by now. That's so sweet of you to do all of Solange's friends taxes for them, I think you're an Angel for them all, helping as much as you do! That's too bad about Solange's friend, she certainly needs help, and it's so loving of you to listen to her and give her advise, and be there for her to keep her on track too. Solange's friends must all love you dearly! Yes, maybe this is what Solange left for you to do, and I do remember you posting that. Our Lord will bless you for helping Solange's friends! You're such a loving person, they are fortunate to have you to turn to. Much love and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

2/14/2003 13:30

Dear Verna, a nice surprise to see a post from you, I hope your arm is getting better and you're pain free! Another one of your wonderful posts, and that's so beautiful that your daily faith walk is increasing, with your great love of God and His Son! Always our love, always our prayers,
Luv Sandy

2/14/2003 14:21

Hello Lisa, and Happy Valentine's Day to you too! Yes, it is a sad day, these special occasions cause pain in all of us when they come around. My hubby, God love him, gave me a card from him, and one from Shane and he wrote what he thought Shane would say to me. Beautiful and painful at the same time. Oh sweetie, I know how much you'd love to hug Aaron, and how much you miss him, but he knows how much you love him, and always will! He hears you talking to him, and he's around you when the grief gets overwhelming. I and the other Moms know how hard it is to accept the fact that our beloved children are gone, and we know how painful that feeling is and how hard it is to accept it. Try to take one day at a time, (I know, easier said than done) to make it a little easier on yourself. My heart aches for you, you're in such pain right now. I used to pray every night that first year that God would bring me home too, the pain of losing Shane was so great. And a lot of the other moms have expressed that the same feeling was experienced by them, so your feelings are very normal, painful, but part of the grieving process. You have your other son who needs you so much right now, he's grieving in his own way for his brother. The best advice I can give you is pray, pray and if you can't right now, we'll stand in the gap for you and do the praying for you. If it wasn't for my faith and the prayers of many, I would never have made it this far. And now you have us to lean on for support, love and understanding, you post anytime, we're always here for you! Did you find any of the websites I gave you any help? If you did or didn't, you still have us, we'll always be here for you with our love and prayers. God bless you Lisa, you'll get through today. Our love, understanding and prayers to you,
Luv Sandy

2/14/2003 19:45

Hi Angel Moms. Today is a valley day for all of us, My Solange will be sorting presents and getting ready to go out and have a good time. I hope she is having a good time in Heaven. It's so hard, tomorrow will be 6 months since I have not see her, the first time since she was born that we have been apart that long. I can't accept it , God forgive me but I am asking WHY, she was a good young girl, spoiled yes, but no bad habits, WHY. I ask, Some of her friends called me tonigh specially Juni, she does not know what to do, I told her to go out because Solange wanted her to do so, she will be going to a friend's house to have dinner but she does not want to go to s discho. Anyway Angel moms, we all feel very empty right now. But I thin our Angels Kids are having a good time. Love you All. Selva

2/14/2003 19:47

Dear Lisa..welcome to the "circle of love".I am so sorry to hear about your son.for we all know what you're going through. I myself lost my only son, Matthew,who was killed this past June8,2002.He also was killed in a car accident.I too have been where you are..Of the feelings of not ever going to hear his voice,his "I Love you's" God only knows the pain...It helps me so much to come here and just type out my anger,frustrations,my deep lonliness,and of course as I cry...God help you my friend..I pray that God wraps his loving and caring arms around you this moment.....In His Care I Press On.....Eva

2/14/2003 20:00

tkh63...I pray that God will wrap his arms of love around you my friend..... For we all know what you are going through..It has been just alittle over 8 months since my Matthew has gone to be with Jesus..I know I should feel comforted by that...But it's the "motherly nature" in me being selfish and wanting my son here with me..I do take comfort in knowing that one I will be reunited with him..Just as all the other angelmoms will also be reunited.Until that day though.. we must press on knowing that day will come!!! I love you all ...In His Care I Press On.....Eva

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