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Shane Whalen
This Prayer Circle is Dedicated to my son Shane Whalen Who Passed Away On March 15, 1999 at the Age of 24, & All Other Children

Start a prayer circle for bereaved parents who have lost a child.

There are many of us out there who have lost a child, and it is devastating. It changes the outlook on life, plunges you into a depression, and you think that the feelings and thoughts you have nobody else could possibly relate to. I think a prayer circle for bereaved parents would only benefit us and help us on our journey of grief. This Circle is one of Love, where a Grieving Parent can safely come to for Prayers, and to talk about their feelings.

Shaner -10/14/2000
send to a friend

Read Prayers.

1/13/2003 10:23


Now, don't think that the evil one has given up on attacking me. :) I still allow him to enter my mind often, throughout each day; but now, praise God, I can tell when my thoughts are from God and when they are from the evil one! As Joyce Meyer suggests in her book: Battlefield of the Mind:

"I have to think about what I am thinking about!"
[Chapter 7 page 63-69.]

No, I have not experienced losing a beloved family tragically and all at one time as you have. That's why it is so difficult for me to try to find words to let you know how much I wish I could help ease your pain. But, I can tell you that through the 60 plus years God has blessed me to be here on this earth, I have lost many treasured loved ones; Some went peacefully, and some (the devil would have me to believe), tragically ... But, through it all, God has continued to hold me close to his heart; assuring me that all is not as it appears to the natural eyes ... That there are, indeed, angels that appear in the mist of the worst of life's tragedies, to take the life spirit out of the empty shells that house them here, and that the tragic memories that consumes us for a time, are not at all what they appear to be, and will someday be no longer remembered as such. As promised in His Holy Word, their is a brighter day ahead.

A little over six years ago, when I lost my daughter, Diane, suddenly and tragically, I was so very angry and hurt and lost all faith in God, for a time, and like you, and some of the other moms, I even thought of committing suicide, often. I really thought that was the only way I could relieve the pain that seemed to be too much to bear. Now, of course, I know that feeling as I did, was normal, and that others had also felt that way during the early stages of grief. I thank God for all who continued to pray for me during the times when I couldn't pray for myself. God was so very patient with me, and He will be the same with you ... Maybe even more so; For, in my opinion, your loss is far greater that any I can imagine! For now, just try to hold on to this thought:

"If I continue to hold on to my faith ... All that has been taken away from me (by the evil one), will be restored by my heavenly Father, whom I know loves me!"

1/13/2003 10:25


As a matter of fact, I think that we all would be wise to do this each time the evil one tries to steal our peace and our joy! The evil one want us to focus on our pain, not joy; on our losses, not our remaining blessings that God continues to provide each and every day. God knows how much we are hurting, and He longs to give us those moments of peace. But, God needs our help! He knows it will take a lot of time, but He is willing to wait, for He knows that each of us must grieve our losses in our own way and time. Again, He will be patient with each of us. He already knows how long each of us will grieve deeply. We don't understand it, but ... God really does know how much we can bear!
This is just a suggestion ... Just one of many things all of us can try while on our grief journey:
Each time the evil one tries to steal your joy, close your eyes and repeat that statement over and over again for as long as it takes to get the evil one's thoughts out of your mind! Only then will you be able to think on good things, and experience the peace and comfort that our Lord and Savior wants and greatly desires for you and me.

I know that our heavenly Father hears all prayers, even when we feel we can't find the right words to pray, or words strong enough to express our thoughts, our desires for those we are praying for. So, again I'll say, I just felt that I needed to have the help of the Holy Spirit with this powerful prayer request that I ask in Jesus' name, for you and all our angel moms. I know that the Holy Spirit knows exactly how to approach God on our behalf during times when we feel inadequate in doing so ourselves.

All I ask, is that you will give all of our prayers a chance to be answered ... To work in your life. It doesn't happen over night, but it will happen ... Gradually at first ... And as it continues, you will discover the ultimate purpose God has for you ... One that will take a lifetime to complete. This, [The painful loss of your beloved family], is your earthly cross ... But, our Lord and Savior has already seen to it that your crown is waiting ... And if you hold on to God's unchanging hand, you will receive that crown someday, when it's your time to cross over. Until that day comes ... Just remember we are here for you, and you will NOT have to carry such a TREMENDOUS AND HEAVY cross alone!
Much love, and God's peace and blessings,

1/13/2003 19:27

Hi verna, Sandy and all you Angel moms. Thanks a lot for your e mails and thank you so much Verna for your beautiful prayers. I wish that some day Imy faith will be as strong as yours. But I will keep on trying. I do not know how to pray so beautiful, and when I'm not angry at God I pray with my heart, it seems difficult sometimes, in a couple of days it will be 5 months since GOD called Solange, I miss her so much, I feel like I'm not even here, it's like I'm having a bad dream, I'm still waiting to see her coming home, and hear her calling me Ma I'm OK Love ya.
My pain its getting bigger by the day. I'm trying my best to keep my faith, I'm fighting with Satan, and try to get Jesus help, but sometimes the pain does not let me hear HIM. Thank GOD I have this Circle of Love. I know you all are going through some additional pain right now, like losing your brother in law, and your mother in law having health problems that I feel selfish asking for pray, but if you have spair time, throw a little prayer for me. I love you guys. Selva

1/13/2003 23:26

I lost my son three months ago and I still cannot express how I feel in words. I can just say to all who have lost a child, hold on be steadfast and grounded in the lord and one day we will be with them again in glory.

1/14/2003 10:01

Hello dearest Selva, you are a woman of faith and prayer, praying from the heart is exactly what God wants to hear!
It's difficult for you right now because your heart is filled with grief and all the different emotions it brings up. You're still in a state of shock and disbelief right now, it's only been close to 5 months for you sweetie. The first year I also thought it was a nightmare and that Shane would walk through the door, or pick up the phone and it would be him, so what you're feeling is very normal, it tears at your heart, but it's a normal part of grieving. Your pain is all-consuming right now and Jesus knows this, but He'll never leave your side! He DOES hear you through your pain. You just have to give yourself time, you're going to feel a lot of things right now, and they're all part of the grieving process as I said. You're welcome for the e-mails, etc., and thank you for your's! Don't EVER feel that your being selfish asking for prayers, that's what I created this Circle for, and as a place to talk about how you're feeling, because we all understand. You know our love and prayers are always with you, you're in my heart on your own Journey of Grief, and my love and prayers go out to you. Much love to you,
Luv Sandy

1/14/2003 10:09

Hello origen61, and welcome to the Circle. I'm so sorry to read about you losing your son, only 3 months ago. Grief is hard to put into words, isn't it. It's the worst pain that a parent will ever experience, and you're right, holding steadfast onto Our Lord will see us through, as painful as it is. Yes, one day you'll be reunited with your precious son, and all of us look forward to that day too, when our work here is done. God bless you sweetie, and know that our prayers and love are with you,
Luv Sandy

1/14/2003 11:10

Hello ORIGEN61, I am also very sorry to hear about you son, and we all know how you are feeling, I lost my only daughter 20 years old) only 5 months ago. But keep coming into this Circle of Love and you will find a lot of understanding, love, guidance and prayers from all these wonderful Angel Moms in this Circle. Love Selva

1/14/2003 11:13

Hi Sandy, Verna and all you Angel moms, Thank you so much for your prayers, I'm in the valley today, I still don't believe my daughter is gone for 5 months, I'm trying to hold on to God even if I don't feel it within my heart, but I believe this way Satan won't get a hold of me.Love you all. Selva

1/15/2003 01:05

Dear Selva, ~ Just a brief note to let you know that I am working on an email to you. It is very long :) so it will take a while to finish. I started on it late because Cheryl and I had a MADD (VIP) presentation tonight, the location of which is in another town not too far from where we live. We did not get back until late, (around 9:30 PM.) I then had to drop her off, visit for a few minutes, and then drive home, and take care of a few chores. I feel sure that once you read the email and think about all the Holy Spirit has given to me to say to you, it will bless you greatly, and maybe make the pain that you are feeling a little easier to bear. I know this is a very difficult time for you, and that some of what I say may bring on the tears, but that is a very, very necessary part of the healing process for all Angel Moms ... Especially during any of the many, many special days ... Even those Angel Moms who have been on their grief journey for many, many years have testified that this is true, and also very normal! It can catch the best of us off guard at any stage of grieving. We know it won't last, but we also know it can happen. It's just that some of us have come far enough to know the intense grief won't last, and that it's OK to express grief at any stage, and to express it, each, in our own way and in our own time! As Sandy reminded us recently ... Grief has no schedule or time table, etc.
Much love, & God's Peace and Blessings,

1/15/2003 16:37

Heavenly Father, please be with these greiving parents, as you were with me when I lost my child...Help them through this time of great pain...Let them know that you have a plan in their lives and that they will someday be with their lost child again... In Jesus's great name, Amen...

1/15/2003 18:07

Hi Verna and Sandy and all you wonderful Angel Moms. Verna I want to thank you a million times and may GOD Bless you a million times more. It's been 5 months since God called Solange, they made it officially Aug 16 but I knew she was gone Aug 15. So its a very painful time for me for I go back to those horrible days today. But I will keep on holding on to God, like you Verna said, maybe I'm not ready yet but I will keep holding on to HIM. You have made so much difference in my life today . May God Bless you many many times. Love you all. Selva

1/15/2003 18:13

Hi S GLIDDEN. Thank you for your prayers. We all need them. Welcome to this Circle of Love and keep coming back you will find lots of love and understanding in this Circle. I lost my only daughter Solange Menendez only five months ago, but this Angel moms has helped me tremendously. When you need help, please come to our Circle of Love. Selva

1/15/2003 19:18

Hello s_glidden, and welcome to the Circle. I'm so sorry about the loss of your own child. It's very painful, isn't it, to lose a child, the worst pain that a parent will ever experience. Thank you for your beautiful prayer for all, and our love and prayers are with you. Won't it be wonderful when we're reunited with our child/children again! Please post here whenever you feel like it, we're always here for each other.
Luv Sandy

1/15/2003 19:38

Hello dear Selva, my Shane died on the 15th of the month, so like you, the 15th of every month is etched into our hearts. The day brings it all back to you, remembering with deep sadness that day. For you it's only been 5 months, and you're still experiencing that intense, all-pervading pain, for us, it will be 4 yrs. in March, but I remember that day like it was yesterday. I'm slowly learning how to live with the quiet sadness in my heart, and there isn't a day that goes by that Shane isn't on my mind. My faith and the many people who prayed for me got me through that awful time, and still continue to do so. Hold on tight to your faith, and besides your family and friends praying for you, all of us here are too. All of you Moms are forever in my heart, love and prayers. As Verna advised you, hold onto Him, Our Heavenly Father loves us all so much! Much love to you sweetie,
Luv Sandy

1/16/2003 02:40

Dear Angel Moms, ~ May God shower you with His peace and love, as only He can. I am holding on to God's unchanging hands, and abiding in His unconditional love, as I continue my grief journey.

It seems that we all are going through a valley period. :( My daughter, Diane, was born on the 16th of the month of August, but like the other Angel Moms, I still have moments when it hits me and knocks me back a few steps.:( But, thank God, I know that the sadness won't last forever and that it is ok to feel that sadness at any stage and at any time. As some of you know, my daughter Cheryl and I are members of MADD's Victims Impact Panel, (VIP) Each time that Cheryl and I go and share our story of losing Diane,through the preventable act of drunk driving, with defendants who have been convicted of 1st and 2nd offense (DWI) ... It brings it all back, just as though it were yesterday! It is not an easy thing to do ... But, when I see the tears that swell up in some of the offenders eyes ... And read their comments as a result of our presentations, I know that it is worth it all, because maybe, it will help keep another mom and family from knowing the pain of losing a precious child or other loved one, both suddenly and without warning, and in such a tragic manner... As I often tell them ... We didn't have the chance to say goodbye. :(

Dear Father, ~ Thank You for walking with us through the valley of tears and sadness as we grieve the loss of our precious children. Lord, the sadness sometimes fills our hearts with such heaviness! When I think about all the Angel Moms and how much they are hurting, I know that I cannot stop their pain ... But, oh precious and loving Father, I am so grateful that I can always come to You in prayer for all of them, and that they likewise, can and do the same for all of us. God, You know that it is not necessary that I know these Moms personally ... Although I sometimes feel that I do. :) The important thing is that I love each and every one of these angle moms who have joined this circle of love, and I thank You for giving me the opportunity to pray for them, one and all. And, I thank each Angel Mom for including me in their prayers. Father, no one can understand the depth of our (individual) pain and loss like You. That is why it always gives me a sense of peace, and comfort, and healing of my own shattered heart,mind, and spirit, each time I come to You in prayer, praise, and thanksgiving. What a comfort it is to know that You are watching over us, and that You are always on call. :) I am so grateful, that I can still see You, even though my tears, and I know that I have the assurance of Your Holy Word, that You would still be there, even if I could not see that You are! Father ... We may not always feel your presence, but it sure does help to know that You are always, always there! Thank You, Father! In Your Son Jesus' name, Amen!

1/16/2003 08:31


1/16/2003 09:43

Dear Origen61, (Geneatha), ~ First let me say how very sorry I am to read about the tragic loss of your precious and beloved son, Marty. I thank God for leading you to our prayer circle of love, just as He has done with so many of our other angel moms. I still can't remember how I found this wonderful circle, that Shaner (Sandy) created in her beloved son's (Shane's)memory, but I am convinced that God, by way of His Holy Spirit, led me to it ... And just like the other Moms, it has blessed me greatly. So, please know that we welcome you with open arms, and have already begun storming heaven with prayer for you, your beloved son, Marty, and your entire family. I pray that our Lord, and Savior will provide you and family with precious moments of peace, during this very difficult time.

As I am sure you know all too well, losing a child is by far, a mother's worst nightmare. It has a grief all it's own. There really are no words to describe the pain and loss that we moms feel. Some of us keep trying, but in my opinion, the words simply do not exist.

Having lost my beloved 36 year old daughter, Beverly "Diane," in a tragic and unexpected manner on Aug. 31, 1996, I can relate to what you are going through, having lost your son in a tragic manner. Still, I cannot imagine the added pain you have known, having been the one to discover the tragedy. My heart goes out to you and your precious family, and my heartfelt prayers have already gone to God. For, He is your Spear of Strength, now, and will continue to be in the days, weeks, months, and years to come.

As we moms who have been on our grief journey a little longer will tell you: Grief, especially the grief of losing a child, is something that we never get beyond. But, with God's help and tender mercy, we will be given the strength to go on ... but in a different way. Our lives have been changed forever, and we are not the same person that we were, and never will be again. But, the good news is, God will carry us through the valley of shock, and indescribable grief that we are experiencing during the early stages of grieving. God knows exactly what your pain is like and just how very difficult it is for you. Please know that He has his arms around you and each family member, and He won't let you go. He loves you, Marty, and your entire family, unconditionally, and just as sure as you are reading these words, God is going to reveal this to each of you, in His own time. Just try to rest in His love, and turn everything over to Him, as your grieve your loss. You need to be patient with your self during this stage and give your self plenty of time ... All the time you feel you need to grieve your loss! We will be here praying for you 24/7, and please feel free to post back anytime. As the moms will tell you, it is a safe place to share whatever your are feeling, and you will not be judged. Sandy, God bless her, is a blessing to us all, and so are all the other Angel Moms! We love and support each other, and do what we can to help each other on the valley days. God bless you and family, and we welcome you with open arms.
Much love, God's peace and blessings,

1/16/2003 09:44

Dearest Verna, I think it's wonderful that God has called you to a Ministry of working with MADD, as well as your daughter. You'll never know how many lives you've had an impact on, how many will stop drinking and driving because of your own testimony, you're going a great service by speaking to them about the consequences of drinking and driving! God bless you for that! I know the Holy Spirit will guide you at each meeting you attend. Thank you for once again posting a very eloquent, heartfelt prayer for all, You're always in our love and prayers too, much love to you,
Luv Sandy

1/16/2003 10:15

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ: ... For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35, 38,39

You are not here by chance. He has allowed you to be here at this time in history to fulfill His special purpose for this generation.

Never Forgotten ~ Always Loved [Jan.16]
By: Roy Lessin

Trust Me as your Heavenly Father. I am the guardian and keeper of your soul. I watch over you with an everlasting love. I am conforming you to My image and perfecting My love within you. In Me is your identity, your confidence, your courage, and your strength. You bear My name, and I delight in calling you My child.

Never Forgotten ~ Always Loved [Jan. 4]
By Roy Lessin

1/16/2003 11:06

Hello Dear Sandy, ~ Thank you so much for your prayers, the fwd pages, and your kind words of encouragement. I guess you can tell I'm in the valley today. :( Whenever I'm having a valley period, I try to work through it by meditating on God's promises given to us in His Holy Word. :) I also love reading the beautiful and encouraging messages chosen by Roy Lessin in his wonderful little calendar book by the title Never Forgotten, Always Loved. :) I keep it on my desk, right beside my computer, so that I can randomly select words of encouragement to share with all our angel moms and to remind myself of God's unconditional love for all. Yes, the work that Cheryl and I are doing with MADD really means a lot to both of us. Tuesday night was my fourth presentation and Cheryl's second. I am still not able to get through the telling of my story without reliving that night, ... But, I am doing a lot better each time.:) And, just as we assure the moms here, the MADD coordinator always assures me that I don't have to apologize for becoming a little emotional. She assured me that every Mom does the first few times. And Sandy, the courtroom was packed. This is a requirement for those in attendance, but they really do seem to be attentive and some express that they really had thought about the possibility that they might actually cause someone to die. So, at least, it seems to be making a difference. I look forward to the day when we can arrange to share our story with high school students prior to prom night and graduation. It always breaks my heart when I read of some teenager losing their lives in such a tragic manner when they should just be beginning to really enjoy life. And, as we know, their parent's lives will never be the same. :(
On a happier note ... I am still smiling about my Big Hug! :) It really put a big smile on my face! I just love those kind of fwd pages, don't you? :) They really do lift one's spirit, especially on valley days! :) God bless you, dear Sandy, and you know you and family... Especially your dear sister-in-law, are in my heartfelt prayers.
Much love, God's peace and blessings,

1/16/2003 11:37

Hello Dear Selva, ~ Thank you, also, for the beautiful and oh so touching fwd pages you have been sending. I really loved the one called: I wish you enough. It actually brought tears to my eyes! I passed it on to others on my email list. I am still working on updating my address book at the other site. Sandy will tell you that I don't know dada about computers! :) So, I am telling all of you now, If you ever get a message that says that I am not accepting your emails, just say to yourself, "Oh-oh, Verna is trying to block out Spam again!" Ha-ha! I am the world's worst when it comes to computers! :) So, if I block your email at anytime, angel moms, post to me here, like Sandy had to do once or twice, and let me know so that I can correct the problem. So far, the mail control has gotten rid of all of those unwanted (Spam) emails!:) Also, dear Selva, I appreciate your kind words of gratitude, and your beautiful prayers and advice that you share with all of us. Please know that you are always in my heartfelt prayers.
Much love, & God's peace and blessings,

1/16/2003 11:44

Debby, Peggy,Yvonne, and all other Angel Moms, all of you are in my prayes, and I will try to catch up on individual post to each of you just as soon as I can.
Much love, God's peace and blessings to all.

1/16/2003 12:23

Hello Verna, it must be difficult to stand up there and tell and relive your own story, and difficult for Cheryl too, but hopefully the more you do it, the more comfortable you'll become. A packed courtroom - look at all the people you're educating and inspiring with your presentation! I imagine it's a big wake-up call for many, and God bless you for doing it. Your own story, as well as the other MADD moms, will help to open their hearts to the pain that a mother feels when she's lost a child to a drunk driver. It's a wonderful organization, and God will bless you and Cheryl tenfold for your work with these people! Yes, you always hear of a tragedy on Prom Night, so if you can arrange to talk to teenagers, you'll have an impact on them also - I know that God will open the door for you to do so! I'm glad the 'big hug' put a smile on your face, and thank you for all your fwd.'s too, they do help to lift us out of our valley days and put a smile where a tear was. Thank you for your prayers, sweetie, and for my sister-in-law, so far she's doing well, has my other sister-in-law and hubby there with her for 2 weeks, but I think after everyone has gone, it's going to hit her then.
I applaud you Verna for your work with MADD, as hard as it may be for you, it's wonderful that you're doing your part to hopefully change some people, I KNOW you're having an impact on them! May Our Heavenly Father give you the necessary spiritual and physical strength to continue His work for Him, how blessed you are! My heart and prayers are with you always, and I know reading God's Word will help you out of your valley, and back onto the mountain!
Luv Sandy

1/16/2003 12:27

Yes, Yvonne, I pray you're doing OK lately, enjoying your precious grandbabies, and you know you're in our hearts and prayers, we all love you!
Luv Sandy

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