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Kat D
The baby of the family...


I'm feeling a little shelfish asking for help, when I know other people are hurting maybe more then me.


I lost my Mom (Susie)Dec 22,2002. still feels like yesterday. Words can't explain what I go through on a daily basis. I'm in deep pain everyday. Finding it harder to deal with everyday life. She was my world! She suffered for so long, and I was helpless. I have so much guilt, because I pulled myself away the last 2 weeks of her life, because I was a coward and could not deal with seeing her in this state. I loved my mom with everything, with my soul. She loved me even more if it was possible. I am so alone and feel very distant from everyone and everything. I have had dreams with her in them and she is always angry with me. When she was here on earth we had a loving and very close relationship,always together.I was the baby of the family. Susie was the best woman I have ever known. She was loving, forgiving, smart, funny and most of all she was alway there for me and anyone who needed her! Can she hear me cry for her everyday and is she okay? I can't forgive me! I want my mom back!

 
alone_in_ny -3/15/2005
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