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Divorces after many years of marriage


Marriages often fall apart after the children are gone and mid-life crisis and empty nest or sickness/disaster strike. A mate chooses to go off on his/her own. Perhaps the grass looks greener, even though we know looks are deceiving. Join us in prayer.


SHATTERED!? Your mate, your best friend, your other half, your children's other parent, a big piece of your heart has been ripped out just when you thought we have been married for so very long, we will make it all the way. Perhaps your parents have just celebrated their 55th or so wedding anniversary when your spouse annouces he/she are leaving for (you fill in the blank.) Pain, grief, loss of a loved one. Would death have been better?
Share with us your pain. You are not alone. More and more of us, no matter what our faith, or the number of children, or economics, are being left behind, rejected, abandonned, separated, divorced.
Let us encourage one another and grow through prayer and care. God understands and will never reject us as a spouse has. He commands us to pray for one another. Open your aching heart, walk with a friend, survive!


 
judyringding -6/28/2002
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judyringding
6/28/2002 12:36

My name is Judy and after 32 yrs of marriage, my husband announced at breakfast that he was leaving and wanted a permanent separation and he would be gone by lunch.
SHOCK! I had just returned from 10 days with our son and daughter-in-law helping with the first born grand baby. My husband had been withdrawing ever since the children married and then announced they were both expecting their first child. My husband wasn't ready to be a grandfather and opted OUT. It's been 3 years this August and despited the separation talk, we are divorced and he quickly remarried. I am still devasted but recovering slowly. Are you? I dream about him often, struggle with photographs of better times, and fight anger, bitterness, and pain. I ask Jesus to ease these feelings and help me express them the right way. It has been a time of leaning on the EVERLASTING ARMS and growing in faith and personal relationship with the Lord, my strength and salvation. HE has blessed me with 4 grandbabies. My husband and new wife have moved many states away and this is easier for my children and me. Less reminders? At first I thought maybe he had a terminal illness but death is not a solution for as long as there is life there is hope for true salvation for him and his new wife. Please pray for my emotional strength, physical well being, grief resolution, and spirtiual GROWTH. Thank you.
Judy B.


ALYSSA2
7/9/2002 16:54

My name is Chris, I just went through a divorce and this is the most painful thing that I have ever known.I was married for29yrs. 2 children and 5 grandchildren. My life is a total mess and I don't know what to do. I talk to GOD all the time and to please lessen the pain that I am going through and to make each day easier but so far I don't feel any better or stronger. I don't know if this is a learning lesson in life but I know one thing for sure it is very painful.I need some kind of healing and griefing help so please somebody pray for me and with me.Thank you. Chris S.


bluejeanne
7/16/2002 11:43

My husband & I separated 3 weeks ago. We have been together since high school (30 yrs. & have been married 27.) He has been having an affair (which he denies) but already is publicly seeing her (very hurtful to see & hear about-we live in a small community) I recognize the problems we've had in our marriage, but this is the most painful thing I've ever had to deal with. I have always been a faithful and devoted wife and have endured his alcoholism over the years. This rejection is shattering. Please pray for my spirit to heal. I pray for all of you in similar situations. Thanks-bluejeanne


JHurd01
8/1/2002 09:31

My husband and I separated May 10th, 2002 after 1 yr of marriage. I am very hurt he made all kinds of committments and promises he and I went together for 10 yrs prior to marrying and I thought this was forever. I am so hurt and depressed, he now says he doesnt love me and doesnt know why we even got married. I love this man with all of my heart and he was my very best friend. I ask GOD to intervene in our relationship and make us whole again. I believe in "for better or worse" Please pray for us to regain our love and for some devine intervention for our families. His name is Lee and mine is Jill. I am asking for a Prayer chain for our relationship, and for his drinking problem.
Thank you


shayg01
8/14/2002 17:36

My husband and I separated 1/1/00, we tried to get back together, but he continued to run back and forth between home and the other woman. Other events have occurred including him going to jail and losing his job. I relocated to VA recently and he followed shortly. I live w/my uncle and he lives w/his mother. Three weeks ago while I was at my mother in law house he left with a woman he apparently started with. I cut up all his clothes so we are again in a state of disarray. I love my husband and desire our marriage to be reconciled and we become aligned with God's will. I pray daily for us and deliverance from substance use for him and the spirit of infidelity. I believe in "for better or worse". I ask for prayer for us that we can come together as one and be what God wants us to be and that I become stronger. His name is Kibbee and mine is Sharon. I am asking for a prayer chain for our relationship, his deliverance from substance abuse and he accepts God as his Lord and Savior. Thank you all for prayer and I will pray for all.


love323
8/29/2002 16:23

My husband walked out over a month ago after saying he was no longer happey and in love me but that he still loves me and wants to find his way back home back into my arms. This was all so sudden. Through patience and prayer I found out he was seeing someone (but that has fallen apart as she has gone back to her boyfriend). His work, his friends, his well-being are completely shattered and he's at an all time low. He's typically very efficient with work but has jeoperdized his work. He's full of anger and denial. He said he wanted a divorce but kept cancelling. I decided I would file (takes 6 months to settle) as I don't understand his state of mind and need to make sure I'm safe and secure. I believe it's a combination of alcoholism and depression. My only hope is that with prayer and more patience he comes around. He's on a self-destructive path and does not want to get help. It's hard to see him do this but I know he has to want to get help. I believe in "for better or worse", I still love him very much but I am taking care of my well being and have become closer to the Lord through this journeye. Please pray that he will be touched by the holy spirit and will get well and through God's will, we will be reunited. Thank you.


seapet
9/8/2002 13:53

I pray that all who are suffering and seeking comfort will find solace through prayer - for themselves and for each other. I am having to let go of 36-year marriage and after three long years alone am beginning to see a light guiding me to a new life. When I am able to accept the light I will be able to move forward. May we all be able to grow and develop a new wonderful life with the guidance of a higher power.


ksw3306
9/14/2002 14:41

After 29 years of marriage, my husband has found someone else & wants a divorce. I'm totally shattered & don't know how to cope & don't want to go on without him. We've been together for 37 years, high school sweethearts. How do I make a new life by myself? I still love him so much & know that alot of our problems were caused my me. I have tried to show him I've changed, but he says it's too late, that he's just hurting me more by being here. Please, someone tell me how do you move on when you're heart is broken & your reason for living is gone? We have a daughter & 2 grandchildren together. Even they don't make me want to begin a new life. I've prayed to God to give me the strenght to get through this & to walk with me. Please remember me in your prayers, as I do for all of you, we are all in the same boat.


HopeSeeker
9/18/2002 13:06

Please pray for me - I'm trying to "let go, let God" as my world seems so shattered. My husband has broken my heart and I'm frozen in fear of life without him. We have two beautiful young daughters and I hoped to keep my family together. I'm asking that you pray for my strength - to let go and see God's plan. I prayed for so long for God to "fix" him. Now I pray, and would appreciate all the prayers I can get, to just ask God to show me the way - and not let me dip into the black pit of depression. Thank you for your prayers. I am praying for us all. God Bless you.


godismyfriend
9/24/2002 07:34

My husband left me after 10 years of marriage in January of 2001. He told me he just didn't love me anymore. Slowly I found out the real truth which was that he was "involved" with a 17 year old girl. I was shocked. I never imagined my husband could do such a thing. When he left, he brought me to my parents house with the promise to return...(I don't drive) in two days, he called and said he wasn't coming back. I received a lame e-mail "ending it all".
Two months later he decided he wanted to try again. I was thrilled. I returned home. It went well for 3 or 4 days then he started having second thoughts and he left a total of two weeks after the reconcilation. I again was devastated. I tried to commit suicide. After leaving the hospital I decided I was returning to the house, not him.
To make a long story short, several times he said he was going to start the divorce process (he insisted on an uncontested, mediated divorce. I insisted he pay for it) but he never did. A few weeks before Christmas 2001 he called me (now I was living in my own apartment and he and his girlfriend was living together in the house)and said he missed me, by Christmas we reconciled, by January 6th he left me for her again, this happened about 5 more times until May 2002.
I finally come to a place where I know being with him isn't possible. Contact was broken. I did have to contact him regarding some financial matters. When that was taken care of and I no longer contacted him, he contacted me. We have been in phone contact weekly for several months now, but all behind his girlfriend's back. Last week, he initiated a short visit to my apartment just to say hi because he was in the area.
I still love him so much. I know I shouldn't allow him to treat me like the other woman, but I so enjoy the phone conversions we have been having. He is now stating that he is confused, but won't talk anymore about it. He's not the only one who is confused, believe me.
This has been so incredibly difficult for me. I feel totally emotionally drained, as if I've been on an emotional roller coaster for the last 2 + years. I'm tired. I want this wild ride to stop once and for all. I know my husband still loves me. He just needs to figure that out. I feel as if we belong together, but I'm not sure if that is what God intends or not. I'm so confused.
I pray for clearity, but I can't seem to find it. I try to see it.

I pray for all of us who is going through this gut-wrenching pain. I've never experienced anything like it before. I wish no one ever had to feel turmoil such as this, ever.

Good luck to all of you,
May you all find the happiness and peace you deserve.


Zildaren
10/19/2002 23:27

Three weeks ago, my wife of 21 years, packed her clothes and left three teenagers and me to wonder what in this world we did to drive her from us. Her has no job or money, but has met several guys through the job she used to have (she got laid-off 9 months ago and has pursued those relationships). The sister of one of her guy friends opened her house to my wife so she could escape our marraige, but, she has been spending the nights at the home of another guy (he is seperated). I still love her though she treated us all very harshly this past year. Her relationship with the kids has been virtually nonexistant. She is not a religious person. I had fallen away in my hopes of pleasing her. I paid for a breast enlargment operation just 6 months ago. I did most of the housework and cooking and care of the children plus my 46 hour a week job for the last year. She has said many cruel things to me since she left. The cruelest to me is that she will never wants me as her husband ever again. I am seeking a divorce from her because of pain or jealosy or pride or grief...I don't know. I have to see the guy she is "secretly" staying with everyday at my work place. The rift in my heart is unbearable, my grief inconsolable. I pray every night for god to remove the images of the two of them together. I cannot sleep or concentrate. My kids are in pain and are acting out in anger. Please pray for us We are lost. I love my children (and my wife) but the loneliness and sense of worthlessness and betral is a weight that is crushing me. Where is my love? Why can't I except and move on? Oh, death.


mimibgodsgirl510
11/6/2002 17:12

I was married to my husband for 12years, we have 3 beautiful chldren together. I was recently incarcerated in a federal prison and went through very deep spiritual therapy only to relize that my marriage has been a lie for almost the entire time. He has a sexual addiction, to ########### and sex lines via the phone. I lived for almost 11 years believing that this was my fault and my husband would tell me that I was lucky to have him. Especially after going to prison,he convinced me that I was ruined and that he was the only one that would have me. I took all the verbal abuse because after so many years of hearing it I began to beleive it as truth. Now he has abandoned our children 2 months before my release date and was put in jail because his obsession brought him to stealing from the company he worked for. He blames m for is incarceration and refuses to be civil for the children's sakes. I pray for him and pray that one day soon him and I will be able to at least be friends on some level. His family also blames me for his problems. I am trying to cope and move forward. My self esteem is at an all time low, but with my children and my parents and prayer, I am working on myself. I know that I do not love him and cannot be with him after all the emotional abuse, but I do miss having my friend and want all the bitterness he feels towards me to end. It tears children up inside. My oldest son will not have anything to do with him. Please pray for my children and my husbands heart. I am dealing with the facts that in my Catholic upbringing and that divorce is wrong, but I know that I can not stay with him. I know that God will forgive me, I just have to forgve myself.


abrasue
12/6/2002 10:44

Please pray for us. We have been married for 15 1/2 yrs. Have 3 young children, and up until this summer everything seemed great. many people commented to me how lucky I am to be married to a man that cares so much about me. Three months ago after an argument he told me that he was no longer in love with me and wants a divorce. He would be moving out after the Holidays. I can't stop crying. I have been to counceling alone and with him. He states that he doesn't want me. I have always supported him in every decision and have worked very hard to help him succeed in his career. I feel used up. I gave all I could give - he took all and now I am not useful to him anymore. He told me he wants to be with some one he can connect with. (We have known each other since 9th grade, best friends, team mates) Just this summer he sent me a card thanking me for seeing in him what noone else has and we will be together for ever. How can you say that and then recant and chage you mind? How can he walk away from his family? I have been praying and my Father-in-law tells me to keep the faith. I am trying to. I love him I do, I am not happy with how he is acting now. His work has suffered a great deal because of this and he blames me for trying to rouin his career. I pray for all that are in this kind of situation. Let God help us all through this hurtful and depressing time. Please pray for US!


gqcat
1/25/2003 05:02

I pray for those hurt by a separation or
divorce as I'm there myself.We can pray
for each other,I'm sure it will help.
Love to you all! Craig


whmorrell
1/29/2003 17:02

I am praying for my children and myself to remain a strong family now that there father is one He has been in and out of our lives for quite a few yaers and though I had hoped things would change they did not.
I have 4 beautiful children and a Very Big God who I know will see us through this time. I will pray for everyone here on this site also.
It gets the lonliest in the house after al the kids have gone to bed and it so quite. I miss having him there, even if he wasn't always there I long for the times when we were all happy. It has been a struggle to no longer be a "wife", but being a mother is a blessing beyond words.
I believe that in time my hurts will hela and I pray that I will trust agian someday.
Thankyou God for answering all of our prayers. Wendy


ekop
2/13/2003 07:58

my husband and i have been married for 6 1/2 yrs. to have seen us about a month ago, you would've thought we were newly weds, then i get slapped in the face 2 weeks ago with "i want a seperation". almost 3 yrs ago, my husband had an affair, and he ended it in hopes of keeping us together and that he saw how it hurt me. i haven't really been able to get over it. so my jealousy w/in those 3 yrs grew tremedously and i lost trust in my husband. he says he is "confused" and needs to find himself. he tells me he loves me and is still in love with me and that he's still attracted to me, but he can't be with me right now because he is miserable with himself for what he's done to me and he doesn't want to make me miserable along with him. he's trying to push me, his family and my family out of his life. this hasn't only affected myself and our beautiful young daughter, but both of our families. i ask that you pray for my husband that he will find his faith again in the lord jesus christ and that he can get pulled out of this confused depressed state he is in. i love him dearly, and i want to help him, but he just wants to "run". i believe in "for better and for worse", and i want to live up to my promise i made to god the day we were made husband & wife. i also ask that you pray for myself & our daughter. for me-to give me the strength and faith to save our marriage. for our daughter-to ease her pain and confusion of why mommy and daddy aren't together right now. your prayers are greatly appreciated and in return, i pray for each and every husband, wife, daughter and son who are going through what we are. i pray the lord will give you the strength to salvage what you don't want to lose and walk by your side and assure you "it's going to be ok". thank you and god bless.


wcmom
3/14/2003 12:53

I was married for 31 years. We raised 5 children and have 4 grandchildren.On mothers day in 2002 I recieved a card from my husband that said how much he loved me and needed me.6 weeks later he said he wanted a divoece. He took all the automobiles and the house. I have no money to fight him. Our oldest son is 31 and has cerebal palsey. My daughter had just had a miscarriage and I had just been diagnosed with a severe health problem. I have been so devastated that I cant seem to move on. Please pray that the bitterness will go away and the Lord will help me find the right path to go down. You would think that after 8 months the tears would stop....but they wont. I loved this man with my whole being. I stayed in spite of his affars and his families abusive behavior towards me. I now dont know what to do. Financially Im destitute. I dont have the money for the lawyer, but cant get my share of his pension or support without the lawyer..Please pray that God will take away the pain and show me what he wants me to do. God Bless all who are going threw such a horrible painful ordeal.
Thank You G


cpeyton
4/10/2003 23:54

I will have been married for 15 years this May 13. On Dec. 31, 2002 I came home from work to find the house empty and a note from my wife saying she filed for divorce and I would be hearing from the courts soon. I was devastated. I had absolutely no idea she felt that way. Yes, we had our ups and downs, but nothing that made me feel our marriage was on the line.

We have 4 beutiful children who she took with her to her apartment. I have only limited contact with the kids. I only get them for 48 hours every other weekend. I have been in a depression ever since she left. Some days are more worse than others. I pray several times a day for God to restore my marriage and turn my wifes heart. I am asking that you do the same. I will pray for you too. If its not in Gods plan to restore my marriage, pray that HE will give me the correct path to take.
Thank you all. Chuck


MarshaLHelmuth
5/10/2003 11:36

Although, I was never married but I have been with this guy for 12 years but what I went through, I felt like I was getting a divorce. 2 years ago, we had a son together. Last summer, he left me for another woman. I was struggling dealing with my depression and to be single mom to my 2 years old son same time. So many things have happened so fast that they are too much for me to handle and they hurt me very much. He proposed her few months ago, now is buying a house and plan to get marry this summer and many more. These things were OUR dreams...now he took them away from me and shared them with other woman. It hurts me so much knowing that my son won't be growing up with this wonderful man who I fell in love with. My son and his father have visitation schedule but it is not enough. From my childhood experience as a child of divorce, I am struggling to accept this right now and move on because I know what kind of childhood my son will have, "two of everything" and "growing up so fast by dealing with many decisions, stresses and worries over his parents." I didn't have ONE family because of my parents' divorce and I thought I would have the opportunity to provide one family for my son and myself for a change. I feel so frustrated, why can't I have something beter in my life after my hardship in my childhood. I want my son's life to be better than mine. I am asking you to pray for my son's father, have the holy spirit touch his heart and be able to forgive me. Pray for my son for the relationship with his father and that one day he will have his family back. Pray for my strength and hope as I felt that I am not a good mother because I failed my son...for not be able to keep his family together. I am and will pray for you all...Thank you and God bless you all.


mykaylis
10/26/2003 03:58

my husband left me 6 weeks ago for another woman. we had just celebrated our first anniversary and hadn't even been fighting, so i was absolutely shocked. i am in a lot of pain and feel so confused. i ask for prayers for guidance and strength, and offer my healing prayers for those of you whose hearts have also been broken.


Lynette1
11/16/2003 18:40

I came to this site mostly to vent. I've read other people's stories, and I am praying for you all. My divorce was final just 2 months ago. I don't want my husband back. After the drinking, lying, and cheating, I no longer love him. We have a 19-year-old son and a 16-year-old daughter. My daughter lives with me, and I would be lost without her. Every time she sees her dad and the "other woman", whom we all knew before, I get so depressed. Before the final split, I knew that she wanted not only my husband but my entire life. My kids are great, and everyone who knows them knows that. Her only son is a mess. He will never grow up. I think my illness, which I will go into some other time, had a lot to do with my husband turning to her. She's a "fun girl", very lively and peppy. I no longer have the energy to be that way. A teenage girl needs a mother, but she needs someone that she can have fun with, too, not someone who cries half the time. I'm so afraid of losing my daughter to her! They were friends at one time. She pretended to be a friend to the entire family, but obviously she wasn't. Please pray for me! My prayers alone just aren't enough. God bless you all.


bil2
11/23/2003 17:04

after 23 years of marriage, my husband left one week before christmans last year. we have 3 children. he left saying it was all my fault, i had so much anger that he could not stand it anymore. he blames me for all his unhappiness. during the course of the last year i discovered he had been having an affair with a married co worker. he says the affair is over but continues with his friendship. i have been financially responsible for al the house expenses and the children. he has contributed minimally. i never loved or trusted any man but him. during this journey, i have rediscovered my love for god. i have admitted and accepted my part in all this. i keep trying to fix things but to no avail. i have now filed for divorce but know that this is not what i want. please keep us all in your prayers for strength and the will to accept the things i cannot change and the strength to go on.
thank you
b


deeminch
2/1/2004 12:58

I know how very painful a divorce can be. The pain is almost unbearable at times. I too pray for God's peace to fill me. I pray for my soon to be X-husband to be healed as well. A divorce doesn't end the love sometimes, it just makes us realize how difficult it all is without God. God's love is the answer and belief in that love....God bless us all!


celestelair
7/3/2004 18:56

My husband left me 2 weeks ago for a woman he met on the internet. We had separated for 8 months because he "fell in love" with a different internet woman. We got back together again in January, 2004 and he promised to be faithful to me and work on our relationship. He went to Las Vegas (saying his online friends sent him a plane ticket) for what was supposed to be a weekend trip. He never called, never wrote and didn't show up the day he said he would be back. I was frantic so checked his message boards and found words of "love" he had written to a different (not the one we separated over last time)internet woman. I emailed some of his so- called internet "friends" to try to find him. He finally sent me an email with the title "goodbye" after we had been in a relationhsip for 7 years (married for 4). I ask for healing for myself so that I may get over the betrayal and for him so that he can learn to live with integrity and respect.

 
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