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Andy D
A prayer that his heart would be changed

A man needs God's love. He left me in early December, and I have to let go. I want God's will in his life. I want God to save him, and to do a work inside his heart.

Perhaps it is possible to love someone more than you love God. I prayed that if God did not want him in my life, that He would close the day. The next day he broke it off with me (relationship of 3 years). We are both in our 40's. Please pray that God would do a work in his heart. I need someone to agree with me, and I clain in the name of Jesus that when two or more are gathered together in His name, that it shall be done. I don't know what God's will is, but I do know that I have given him up, to God, put it in His hands, and I ask that things work out the way He wants them to, and not me. Please pray that Satan be bound in his life, and that he would turn to God, that he would relaly start to search for His truth.
In_the_Gap -1/2/2002
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1/3/2002 00:47

I love this man with all my heart, with the love that you have given to me. Please soften the hardness inside him, and open his eyes to the truth. Lord, please keep this love alive inside him and myself if we are meant to be, and protect his heart from whatever Satan would try to do. In Jesus' Name I pray, AMen

1/19/2002 20:33

There isn't really any other way to say goodbye, so I'll do it here. I don't understand how you can love someone one day, and turn it off the next and just walk away. I don't understand leaving me for someone else. I was very angry for a time, but my anger does nothing but hurt me. How do i say goodbye to you? how do i stop loving you? i understand now why you were so hostile. i don't understand the lies. in spite of these things, i'm thankful for the depth of my sorrow, that i am able to grieve, and that i have felt so much for you that it is WORTH grieving...that I was ABLE to love you so much that I can't move on until i heal from this hurt. I'm thankful that God put love in my heart. I;m sorry for you that i meant so little that you were able to shrug me off, like the darkness casts off the light of day. I'm sorry that you couldn't knoe this depth of love that deserved to hurt and grieve because it was so sweet and special. I hope that you find in God's time someone who you will love with the same intensity that I loved you. I wish you this pain as well, that you would know in your heart that you have loved beyond yourself, and somehow find thankfulness in that fact when nothing else is left. Goodbye sweet baby. I wanted to hold your hand when the darkness surrounded us both, and sleep with you when sleep was all we had left. I hope to see you there, in glory, part of God's plan, and I will pray for your weren't part of His plan for me. I pray that you will find your true love, and His true love.

2/23/2002 08:14

Dear In the Gap, I thank you so much for finding my prayer for my friend Andrew and for taking the time to type your beautiful prayer for this person you never met. Andrew passed into Eternal Life two three days ago, on February 20, and I am leaving an about an hour to go to his memorial service. I just thought I would check the site one last time before removing the prayer request and posting a memorial. What a comfort it was to read your prayer, posted in January! I cannot tell you how much it means to me. I would like to offer this prayer for you: Dear loving God, I thank you for this dear soul who is so full of love and caring for others. Please comfort her (or him) in the loss of the love so deeply desired, sanctify her (his) grief and use it for spiritual nourishment and growth, and may she (he) find, in Your perfect way and in Your perfect time, the love she so deeply deserves. I pray for Andy, that he may come to know Your love and salvation, and that his heart be softened and made ready to receive Your grace and peace. Please be with us in the healing of our hurts, Lord, and draw us closer to You. In Jesus' dear name, Amen. Thank you again, friend, hold fast to you faith. -----Ginny from Michigan

3/12/2002 10:30

Thank you for reaching out to us. God answered a prayer through Andrew's passing. To me, it seems that even though Andrew has died, He will ressurect him. It is poignant to me, because my Andy is dead to God right now, and dead to me. He is getting married in April, and I am fasting and praying that God would soften his heart, and that God will resurrect him from his dead feeling's for God, and for me, and that God would re-unite us with HIM as our focus. From what is dead, God can breathe back life into, and make a new creation. I'm thankful that your Andrew is at peace now, transformed and perfect with God's love. Funny how God uses the passing of one to give faith and hope for another. I've felt God tell me that he would bring my Andrew back to me, in His was, and a changed person. I asked that if God wanted us to reconcile, that someone would answer. Your answer was so very poignant. Yesterday I found out that Andy is going to marry in the first week of April a woman he has known since January. I don't feel that it is right in my spirit, and I am fasting and praying until God gives me release, and peace in the situation. Please pray for us. I don't want to lose him forever, but I also trust God, and that is the feeling that I get--to trust God and let HIm do it in His own strength and time.

Lord I life Andrew up to you and stand here in the gap for him. Father I ask that you would take the blinders off andy's eyes. Show him the sin of his life. I rebuke the spirits of delusion, lust, misguidance,anxiety, greed,insecurity,fear, disillushionment,lies, and dishonesty in his life in the Name of Jesus. Father I pray that you will soften andy's heart, and allow him to open up and speak with me about the course he is taking. Father I pray that if he should go through with this marriage that you will save his heart, and work in Your mysterious ways to save his soul. Either way he belongs to you Lord, and if we are meant to be together, then I ask that you do a miracle in the next weeks. You are the God of the imposible. If we are not meant to be, then Lord i graciously give him back to you and ask that Your will be done, not mine. In Jeses name I pray.

6/16/2003 16:50

Dear In_the_Gap and SenzaVib:
I pray in Jesus' name that both of you find the love and comfort you so need and deserve. When we lose a loved one, no matter whether it be through death or the decision of that other person to leave us, it is not easy; sometimes it's almost harder to understand why they leave us rather than why God takes them home to Heaven. Both offer bittersweet comfort. If our loved one is still alive, then our HOPE for reconcilliation is always alive. If, however, GOD takes them, then there is that COMFORT in knowing we had them for whatever short period of time, but it was time for them to return to their (our) Creator. Neither outcome may be what we want, but we must continue to trust in God that He will provide exactly what we need, and that we will eventually see that it is what is right for us.
I, too, am struggling with the "loss" of the love of my life. Luckily he is still on this earth and very close to me, but I pray every day and I humbly and selfishly ask you to pray for me, too, that God will work his miracles and bring Guillermo back to me.
May God bless and keep both of you.
Love, peace, blessings and many thanks to you both.

9/15/2003 13:17

Dear In_the__Gap and Elizabeth,
I have been checking today on a memorial I placed in Febrauary of 2002 for a very dear friend, Andrew DeFelippo, who passed away Feb. 20, 2002 of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma at the age of 43. i saw both of your posts and I want to thank you for taking the time to respond to someone you have never met. Your words have been a tremendous comfort and inspiration to me. A group of Andrew's friends and family are participating in a fundraising walk this weekend for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and your words have come at just the right time for me. I know that you both have been struggling with the pain of relationships that have not turned out the way you would have liked. I too know that pain and it is terrible. We want so much for people to love us in the way we live them. Sometimes it is possible, but sometimes it isn't. So much of it is out of our control, aned i know that I, personally have a hard time accepting that!! I hope and pray with all my heart that you find the love you so much deserve. God bless you both and many thanks for your kind words.

2/17/2004 14:18

Dear Liz and SenzaVib,

Almost two years later I checked this posting and want to thank you both for the support and love that you offered to me. I think back to that time and I was so distraught, but what I failed to realized, or couldn't realize at that time, was that I was about to go on a journey that would change my life. The immutable pain that I experienced taught me about the many facets of love and that love is sometimes all about learning to let go rather than trying to hold onto what isn't meant to be.

We never spoke again. He broke things off after three years together and married a few months later. I still love him, but I've come to realize that we can sometimes love someone much better from a distance than we ever could have loved them when we were with them. I love him now with no expectations, no demands, no self, just love that he is happy and well and that he finds what he needs to make his life whole. I never could have loved him that way when we were together, and I've learned a lot about loving someone, especially myself, from his leaving my life.

He was in my life for a reason, and it wasn't until he left that I started searching for those reasons and the lessons that I was meant to learn. I can honestly say that now I am glad that he chose to honor what he needed to do for himself, because it freed me as well to find what I needed to be happy, and to find my questions. Sometimes finding our questions can be the hardest part of loss. We already have the answers, sometimes rooted in denial and rationalization, but the questions are really what we need to seek.

My prayer, and my wish for both of you is that you would find happiness, whatever happiness is meant for you, in this short life. I've stopped living in the past, and in the future, and just live mainly in the present where most of my dreams are realized and where I am truly able to effect my life and do something proactive about finding my happiness. I wish you both much, much love, and God's serenity and peace.

With love


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